VIRTUE only makes you GOOD: but it is still worth cultivating
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- Опубликовано: 10 фев 2025
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Many folks start out on the path of virtue when they're young, but get sidelined into worldly pursuits by middle age. Why is this so common? In my opinion, this phenomenon is due to the fact that many people inappropriately expect more of virtue than it can deliver. Virtue only makes you good. Expecting wealth or beauty or status or sex or success or health simply because you are virtuous is foolish. However, I believe that virtue is still worth cultivating for two reasons, as I discuss in this episode.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #success #good
Many folks start out on the path of virtue when they're young, but get sidelined into worldly pursuits by middle age. Why is this so common? In my opinion, this phenomenon is due to the fact that many people inappropriately expect more of virtue than it can deliver. Virtue only makes you good. Expecting wealth or beauty or status or sex or success or health simply because you are virtuous is foolish. However, I believe that virtue is still worth cultivating for two reasons, as I discuss in this episode.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #success #good
And Scientific (Greek) Stoicism, or as academia calls it, modified Aristotelianism is the way.
When is your book being released?
The problem with society is a lot of people teach their kids to be virtuous and nothing else. They sometimes also say that if you are good, good things will happen to you. Which obviously is false. This is why people get disillusioned with virtue. Kids are told that being virtuous will make other things like success happen in their lives. It's just another lie that society tells kids.
Virtue is not a means, but an end. As soon as you treat it as a means, you lose its real meaning and value, and you are no longer truly virtuous, only someone who uses virtue in the hopes of getting what he wants.
This is the typical Nice Guy mistake -- he expects to be rewarded for his 'virtue', then becomes jaded whenever he is not.
@@alwaysgreatusa223 virtue is neither a means nor an end. It's a way of travel
@@BOZ_11 So, you're saying it's like a vehicle that can sometimes breakdown or crash. Doesn't sound like virtue. But maybe you have something else in mind by your poetry.
@@alwaysgreatusa223 who says it crashes? Are u walking into walls again greatusa? maybe poetry's not your forte
@@BOZ_11 No, I'm not into poetry, just plain English. So, you're saying virtue is like walking, and so it helps you get from where you are to where you want to go... so, it's a means, after all -- only a means of travel. Perhaps reason is not your forte.
I would add a third benefit: Inner peace. Living with virtue means living with ethical consistency. Making decisions and accepting hardships are easier. This might be a corollary of indestructibility
"Honor is the gift you give yourself."
Incorrect, honor cannot exist independent of a group with a common moral paradigm. It is bestowed horizontally through belonging ALL members of a group possess and vertically through commonly recognized manifestations of honor-worthy actions. One cannot give oneself honor just as one cannot make oneself a hero; it demands others.
@@Mr.Ambrose_Dyer_Armitage_Esq. but sticking by it is what makes you virtuous
@@rajpatel8988
Depends on the honor system; would sticking by the code of Bushido and beheading your enemies for their shame or stabbing yourself for your own be virtuous in your book?
Rob Roy
@@Mr.Ambrose_Dyer_Armitage_Esq.if you don’t like the honor code then leave the group. If you can’t then your virtue is at odds with your honor, which is by definition your reputation within the group, for better or worse.
"Only reward of virtue is virtue": Ralph Emerson.
"Insert wise saying" - Half-forgotten philosopher
The reward of virtue is a clean conscience, often not having to look over your shoulder or feel bad about your actions. If you're a sociopath, then the only reward is the reduction of avoidable enemies. But the virtue of self control which the video is mostly talking about, well, that benefits everyone, even sociopaths.
You do realise that Arete is the highest form of good/happiness. The reward is being a better person.
In most cases, the only reward you'll get for doing the right thing... is the reward of knowing you did the right thing. Just the reality of the world.
That’s enough for me. Living with myself.
Zeno, Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius would approve this episode
the sponsor of this episode is... Marcus Aurelius :) although the misunderstood Diogenes and other Cynics were just as virtuous
My Dad has a quote, he’d say “being a good man is NOT the end of your struggles”. Whenever I’d have a mini meltdown over my life’s responsibilities piling up on me.
in the right circles, where virtue is valued - it will help you build a good reputation. But if you're operating in circles where it is considered a weakness, it will obviously go against you.
Must get out of those circles first. Birds of a feather.
Choose your circle wisely 😁
@@roses6564facts!
Arete isn’t a weakness it can never be one. Philosophy has proven this.
for example - I grew up in the USSR as a child. Theft from workplaces was rampant, people were stealing anything they could get away with. People would justify it by telling each other "we gotta make ends meet, feed our families somehow". Some people had jobs where there was literally nothing to steal, and they were considered unlucky. There were others who wouldn't steal as a matter of honor, and were just considered "dumb losers".
In a culture like that, there just wasn't any incentive to be honest. It is very important to note that In the long run, such a system based on dishonesty and thievery didn't last and collapsed "on it's own weight" - but when an individual person makes decisions in real-time, he makes them based on the current reality, and not on long-range historical analysis.
Loved you on the soft white underbelly. Either people are ready to hear the message or they are not. They either get it or they don't. Love your work keep it up, Dr. Taraban.
Give people time
First time watching Kevin Samuels I thought…
“Who is this arrogant asshole”
Even a lot of Jordan Peterson’s wisdom didn’t click at first
But, over time, it started to make sense
Red pill rage
Some level acceptance
Flare ups every so often
It goes on like that
People will initially cling to their beliefs because challenging or doing away with them is painful
Like burning off dead or dying wood
But even grass will grow in those environments
Given time
Yeah as I watched Dr. Tara in on SWU I was thinking if someone isn't aware of true intersexual dynamics, it would sound like he is from outer space.
I hope in the next SWU episode Dr.O tells us more about himself!
@@isaacwinters6954 this response was put beautifully! Thanks for the insightful view
One of the greatest blessings you can give yourself is a conscience that is as light as a feather.
I do get one thing from virtue: a good nights sleep. Not even kidding. As the apostel Paul wrote, whether he had or had not he could manage with the same positive, hopefilled outlook on life and keep running the race.
Amen! 🏆
Virtue is a pretty good gateway to skills too. Humility and industriousness (which is not just a personality trait) will definitely help in developing a skill. And so it is a step away from money.
Virtue is not a means, but an end in itself.
This is the typical Nice Guy Mistake: he treats 'virtue' as a means in the hopes of getting what he really wants -- which is not to be virtuous, but rather to be loved, rewarded, and admired. Then he becomes jaded whenever he doesn't get from his 'virtue' what he really wants. But the reality is that he is not truly virtuous to begin with, otherwise he would not be expecting any kind of reward whatsoever.
Textbook covert contract
@colerainswaggify6387 Everything is either an end or a means. Virtue is an end, and to treat it as a means is to make into a mere tool for achieving some other end. Now, there are other ends besides virtue -- happiness, pleasure, power, love. Almost every end can be made into a mere tool for achieving some other end that a person decides is more important. The one end that seems immune to being made into a mere tool is real happiness. Now, whether or not being virtuous leads to real happiness is not the issue, because as soon as you treat virtue as a means to happiness, you are no longer sincerely virtuous --- you are merely seeking happiness in the way you believe you are most likely to achieve this end. Of course, the reality is that are very few in this world who are truly virtuous, and it is probably true that everyone wants to be happy in their life. But a truly virtuous person will not first think of his own happiness, rather he will first think whether or not he is acting according to virtue. Perhaps you do not believe there are any such people, but many brave men lay dead and buried in military cemeteries across this nation because they sacrificed their own lives so that you and I can believe whatever we want, and so we could express these beliefs freely.
@colerainswaggify6387 Sometimes that motive is goodness itself -- it's called doing the right thing. That is real virtue.
@colerainswaggify6387 The brave American soldiers who sacrificed their lives for your freedom had a motive, and that motive was virtue itself.
Sorry, BS. The reason he is expecting that is that he was brainwashed into think virtue will get him love/girl by the matriarchy. All the fairy tales, all the teachings by his mother, all the BS told by his sisters/female "friends", all the media, all the books, all the movies. Almost nobody is virtuous "just to be virtuous" - at the very least, they do so to get approval from whatever deity they believe in, even if not from other people.
That last sentence "it makes you undestructible" holy hell, that hit straight to the chest.
You must not be very virtuous
@@user-vx1up7ty7z How do you relate one thing to the other?
@@vdl3984 If virtue makes you indestructible, but it hits you in the chest, must not be indestructible/virtuous haha
@@user-vx1up7ty7z You seem to want to put me down to make yourself feel better. Why is that?
@@vdl3984 I was trying to make a joke, apparently poorly lol
Thank you for this. My wife and I are about 40 and have decided that we only care about mission-driven work.
I'm a blood donor, try to maintain and make friendships, read with my kids (even in their teens). Pushback has always come, and I recently decided that I'm done second guessing myself about anything - that my opinions have been generally rooted in what I thought was "right" [good] and that when I diverted from it, I was unhappy with the results.
Being good has been worth it, but (to note another video of yours) I'm also "the serpent that hisses." I'm a peaceful man, but "carry a sword."
It's worth it.
Over the years I have seen many many individuals lose everything they had of value (important relationships, wealth) because they lacked the virtue necessary to keep any of it.
@@ApexAL When people lose their home, family and (what most of us would consider) a lot of money because of reckless behavior like gambling, irresponsible spending, drug and alchohol abuse.
Are you talking about the military industry complex?
@@ApexAL That's very noble in this selfish and greedy society 👍🏿👌🏿
Happens to many lottery winners. They loose it all & more in very short space of time.
My philosophy in developing or more honestly, just keeping the "goodness" I was born with (thank you universe), is that:
Everything (health, wealth, status, etc) can be taken away from me, but they can't really take character away from me.
Totally agree with you in this one
The way i see it is that people are just too lazy to practice humbleness and righteousness. They want easy money without thinking about the consequences
Having virtue builds resiliance and it makes you more authentic
Amazing vid💪
Such an important topic. The problem is so many of us were lied to growing up by parents, teachers, religion, etc. Being a good person = good things happen to you. It's BS. In reality, being the so-called "bigger person" often just makes you a bigger target lol It's crucial to learn a healthy balance early in life, before finding out the hard way later on and becoming resentful.
Just a fantastic take and video. As others have more or less stated here, it takes real strength, real effort, to be gentle and kind and have empathy and really try and get to know those around you who come from other walks of life (clearly our present leaders lack this). It’s easy to hate, easy to judge, easy to laugh at or make fun of others. Virtue and kindness is well, hard. And most people, for better or worse, want easy. Again, great video.
Religion has used this angle for centuries. Being a virtuous person gives you a clean conscience, and barring any disaster, a pretty good life with respect from others. Of course in the last few decades, this has turned around from those very people you mentioned who do not like goodness in others. They're quite vocal about bringing everyone else down.
Another great example of how religious people are hypocrites. They use virtue to coerce others into behaving the way they want, which is hardly virtuous. No wonder most religious people don't adhere to even the most basic tenets of their religion themselves. Look at Joel Osteen who lives in a freaking palace instead of helping the poor.
the need to be liked is one the weakness that I fight with right now.
Being liked is a side effect. It should not be a goal by itself.
Doing virtual things for oneself is important, as it cultivates the most important relationship in life - with oneself.
Wow, this is the sort of video that leaves you thinking about it for some time afterwards. And that can only be a good thing...Thanks
This was an extremely eloquent video I liked how you started out with the pros then move the cons and then circled back to the pros
Fits exactly wirh my experience... great business success 20 years ago with a lack of virtue and damn near burned my life to the ground 6 years later.
Whilst I've been virtuous the last 20 years, and remained poor throughout. But at least I can say I've been consistent.
Wowsers. What a take. One of the best videos I’ve seen of Dr. Taraban and I’ve watched a lot. Great vid
I do not really expect being good to necessarily lead to good things, but the sheer number of times that I have been betrayed astounds my mind.
Perhaps this view of virtue applies to the majority of life in America. Where I am, it's possible to be part of communities where virtue does indeed make you popular.
No good deed goes unpunished in this world. Yet some of us still persist
Real virtue will give you everything you want and more❤ I think it was Lao Tzu who said: Superior virtue is not aware of itself as being virtue, therefore it is virtue. Inferior virtue is so aware of itself of being virtue therefore it is not virtue. When it comes to nuanced things like that the degree of the individual's consciosness is what determines the reward of his virtuous qualities🎉
This is sage advice. There is tragedy in this life when a good person loses in the end
We do not know what is real end and where it is...
Haven’t seen many creators speak truth consistently
Thanks for keeping it 100
Reaching a point in your life where you do not want anything further can be confronting.
I wish I could venmo you but my lack of virtue during my early 20s made me destroy everything with alcohol and rendered me utterly broke at the time I'm writing this. But you're a shining light man, you're making the pendulum swing.
Watching this episode, was like taking the medicine that my mom made me take so that I would be totally healthy and free from sickness. Every society in this world needs virtue or it will be sick.
What I’ve noticed is the higher you climb the career hierarchy the more likely you are to run into people who have integrity and who are truly principled. Often times they are kind as well:
There’s very little difference between people in their 20s in terms of achievement.
But once you reach your 30s and 40s there’s a profound difference. This is the result of actions that compound over time and the results don’t truly manifest until later in life.
It may seem like people get away with being cruel and manipulative when you’re young. And it may seem like they can sniff out people who are easy to take advantage of. But they don’t have the character to truly excel in life. Eventually the results will speak for themself.
All I can say is stay far away from these people if you can.
Focus on discovering what your talents are and developing them. Focus on developing integrity. Focus on being virtuous. In the end these are the only things that you truly possess.
People who have none of these things are truly poor. And it also reflects in their relationships. No matter how much material possessions they may have.
Dr Taraban sure expanded the definition and meaning of virtue.
thank you. awareness of the war between the good and not so good within one's self. the attainment of equilibrium through the struggles of one's life if one survives the 'war and peace' manifested therein. is not an end goal but a state of being. if misfortune strikes, yet again, I will not be dragged back into the hell of one's own making. but will make of it through one's own will
Learning from my experience not saying this to boost someone's self-esteem but I used to have that mindset where you do good good things come but it that wasn't the case that doesn't mean I stopped being a good person I don't do it for me I do it for others i dont want to live life with any regrets thats what alot of people misunderstand about good it it helps others while your helping yourself when I die I wanna be missed 😂❤ and i dont mean that in a proud way if i can make a great impact on someone and help them be better thats greater than anything greater than victory
Great message. Thank you for your clear concise and always impactful delivery Doc!
I totally agree with everything you've said. I've played the good girl all my life and got nothing but hatred, persecution, rejection and the list goes on and on.
This is so good
Aristotle and classical virtue had strength and fearlessness - rejection of naïveté completely
The virtues we mostly think of are greatly church based
You just described stoicism perfectly. You should do a video on Stoicism
Recommending a deep dive on this subject by reading “Introduction to the Science of Mental Health “ by Ripperger. Practicing virtue is the key to mental health. Love this channel, btw.
Glad to hear this now, as I have already discovered this reality, and not to live in the past l, but I wish this was at least said to me when I was much younger. Appreciate you doc.
One of your best talks so far, great stuff!
Danke!
Definitely what the world needs... More advocates for virtues.
Being virtuous is what i strive to master and I've already realized the consequences that come with it as fully stated with this video, and i couldn't care less.
I'd rather be shunned for being myself than manipulating my way through life, weakening myself as a person, and living inauthentically.
Virtue is the force multiplier if you seek for a quality life
Being virtuous is success. Simplicity is key. I want peace above all else and to be alone in peace, look in the mirror in peace and be at peace with my family around me. This is real success..
Having spirituality with teeth takes maturing the body consciousness. Virtue and instincts, when married together is the world’s most powerful combination.
Your videos are so good and love the swearing. Keeps it real. Thanks man.
Thanks!
So many gems in this episode thank you!
More content like this please. We’ve gotten enough men / women videos😅 . I’m trying to work on myself now
Intuitively and based on my own experiences I've felt that virtue may/may not have helped me with other things, but it definitely made me resilient when no support was available. This video is a good confirmation of that for me.
Virtues are like super powers that you work to acquire through lots of practice. Once you’ve got them programmed into your way of thinking, they show up for you when you need them. You have an overall better sense of well being. I love your channel. ❤
one of your best episodes in my opinion. and yes this fits pretty well with my own experience so far. i was always wondering why some things never bother me as much as they do ppl around me. i might just being used to live with whatever life throws at me because i am kind of expecting the stone in my way already. sometimes you need to go offroad to apreciate the paved path others prepared for you^^
I think virtue is a quality to cultivate that informs our other endeavor, having the skills makes money sure, but you can still be a skillful competent cheat with little integrity in your business dealings. A virtuous person will simply refuse to deal maliciously in his pursuit of business, sex, reputation etc.
This was very good. It helped me know what result to expect. Thank you.
Thank you
✨️ Right ON! Well said. And unfortunately TRUE, but so SO needed to be heard. INDESTRUCTIBLE 😎👍✨️
This was a sobering wakeup call. Thanks
This came at a time I really needed it, and it helps so much! Thank you for this info and your other videos as well, I appreciate you taking on the vulnerability of having a channel and spread this information.
Good Message! Thanks on behalf of the World for your continued virtuous activity!
This is so well spoken. I have nothing to add.❤
What's teh good in being good? Well, Mr. Taraban I think you really hit the nail and drove it through the wood with this video. Beautifully said.
I would say Yes' I've seen this in my own life
It is mindblowing!
Your wisdom never fails to amaze me great sir. You are such a good role model for everyone.
I've been looking for ways to say what you just said so eloquently. Thanks for your service to the world.
So deep, i've lived it man. This the realest shit guys sit with this and digest it after the video ends boys. And never give up on virtue.
very insightful. thanks, dr , for clearing a lot of doubts. I had dwelled on this topic for so long.
Your ability to explain these things with its limitations and benefits of seemingly simple ideas that are in fact highly complex is fantastic. 👌🏼
Perfect 👍🏽, don’t expect anything from it and it will make you indestructible, there is also a deep well of contemplation for detachment - thank you
You have addressed the root cause to so many problems we experience today in this video and in your White Under Belly interview. I don’t have enough money in my accounts to tip you according to the value I have received from these two videos…but I will head to your website to support in a small way. Thank you for all you’re doing!
You never fail to surprise me doc !!
Lots of wisdom in this talk!
Always a good listen. Thank you for what you do, you are doing gods work. 🙏🏻💯
Very helpful, very well explained!
One of your best videos, in my opinion, so far. Thank you.
This goes hand in hand with Stoicism and the Red pill mentality. Thanks for the post, it was great!
I needed this message over 30 years ago, and had to figure it out the hard way instead.
Your best episode till date orion. Easily the greatest life advice i've ever heard.
I get your point. You need ability to earn what you want, but you need virtue to know what to do with what you earned.
wow. i saw lots of your videos and most are pretty on point and good. but this one was i think the best i have yet experienced. talking about virtue of course instantly almost lets it drift into religious territory but oh my did you explain it to perfection without giving any opinion about good and bad. very very well done in my opinion, i instantly shared it in my WA status :D
This is such an eye opener
Thanks doctor. I was struggling to understand these concepts. Thanks for clarifying a long false belief that virtue will give me success. However, I can attend that virtue made me keep what I have and made me endure some really bad suffering. Now I'm learning to be successful without giving up virtue.
You do good because you want to not because you want something in return.
Thank you Ryan
Quality content as always
I enjoyed this video-great insight.
I seek justice over virtue
But I feel virtuous exposing unjust behaviour and making a difference
I have been learning so much from you!
exacty why "virtue is it's own reward". Very few people cultivate excellence in character and earn popularity. George Washington maybe. People usually hate extraordinarily good people...
the light shneth in darkness and the darkness comprehended it not
This was a great talk.
Virtuosity can also be a vulnerability. Too much virtue allows one to be easily manipulated by things he has no direct control over so a balance is definitely needed here.
My experience of virtue is it will guarantee happiness in your life. You never have to feel guilty over your actions or ashamed. You are setting the right example for your children and pleasing God. The Ten Commandments should have been labeled, The Ten Recommendations For A Happy Life! ❤.