The Pygmalion Effect
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- Опубликовано: 27 май 2019
- The Pygmalion Effect is the phenomenon whereby higher expectations lead to higher performance. The Pygmalion effect is also known as the Rosenthal Experiment, named after a research of Robert Rosenthal at Harvard. #learn #psychology #motivation
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Ye
IQ tests don’t test intelligence by the way
John 3:16 (KJV) For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. Romans 10:9-10, 13 (KJV) That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved
Never see one of s female helping or benefiting the male
Never heard of this before.
Thanks👍😉
The people who were expected to do well were nurtured to do well and the people who were expected to do badly were developed to fulfill those expectations
I don't nurture is the right word... Groomed perhaps.
Sometimes it goes the other way around
That's crazy, and even today schools work like that
They for shure don't want all of us to be smart and intelligent. You need some dumb people, because without those there wouldn't be smart ones
Right up until imposter syndrome takes hold
@@Jy-xq2ew Conditioned.
That’s why good parenting is important.
Spot on!
It’s crucial
Exactly, i have a very very negative mother who always bring me down, and NEVER support me to reach my dream, she always said all those negative things, bad words and made everythings become harder for me, even my mother always insulting me all the time, thats why no matter how hard I try, I always failed, I wish my mother will gone, so I can enjoy my life and reach my dream, you cant imagine the amount of negativity she brings everyday, my morther always oppres me to the limit I cant handdle, I feel worthless everyday, everytime my mother open her mouth, I feel worthless, its begin since I was a kid, I dont know what should I do, im so sad
Hanna, the saddest part - at least to me - is that your mom was probably treated by her mom in the same way, and her mom probably treated her the same
way and it goes back generations of women treating their daughters abusively. My mom was a controling, negative person too. Even when I grew up and moved out she was the same. Thank goodness when she died! But when she died she left my brother her house - because he was the one that never got married, never moved out, she chased away any girl interested in him. Kept him on drugs, cooked his meals. And you know what, karma got him because in 2014 a tree fell on that house during a hurricane and he didn't have enough homeowners insurance on it to rebuild it so he had to move, lol! I hope you can find your path!
@@pawpawworldchanel I hope you will breal.the cycle , I know it will be hard even if you are concious of it , my father teaches me to abuse animal and expected me as a useless dumb child, im always angry of th , of me and everything because of how I learned from them , morever im concious in all of this .
This is why as a teacher it’s so important to believe in all of your students.
well if teacher paid more than some bullshit celebirity...
maybe they will..
Its hard when some of them don't give a fuck about studies, and they're not shy to clearly demonstrate that
They play favourites
Well then there would be no motivation to become better, if a teacher motivate a good player and a bad player the same way that would be weird, he can only tell the bad player to become better which they do all the time
@@Tenchi707 Falls
This is interesting. I remember back in college I was tutoring some kids in high school in math, where some would get their work done asap while others I couldn't get to solve a single problem. Eventually, instead of giving up or getting frustrated on the few that acted like they just cant do it, I started to communicate with them more often, ask them questions that I knew they'd know how to answer and give them a little praise each time they were able to answer or they tried to, as though they just know how to solve the problems themselves, they just needed to believe and dig deeper. From there you keep applying it to slightly more difficult problems, give them a lil praise each time they try a bit harder especially when they might fail and now you have a child that actually wants to solve the problems and seems to be kind of enjoying it too. All because you had faith in them and helped them see that they can! It's amazing.
Remember to praise the effort, not the outcome.
We need teachers like you!!!
Yup. There are no bad dogs.
You sound like a wonderful teacher, this is why I was always bad at maths in school and have always been a 'creative' type, yet as an adult I work in STEM as a Software Engineer and I absolutely love it!
@@karlwithak. Let me guess... You don't believe you're influenced by advertising and marketing, either.
@@karlwithak. Research from over 50 years ago is unreliable because of how poorly misunderstood psychology was at the time. Length of time isn't an indicator of how reliable something is. In fact, it's quite the opposite. When it comes to these topics, more recent findings tend to be more reliable than findings from over 50 years ago
This reminds me how EVERY SCHOOL YEAR, a teacher would say how we were "the worst behaved classroom" and from that point things only got worse and more dramatic
This does happen to my class to, while I was in the 10th grade , the older students were worse (at the point of throwing a door at a teecher, yes a whole door). But because we were loud we were "one of the worst classes that ever passed through this school".
And this is why our new literature teacher treated every one of our class like shit because "she heard the rumors" . She single handedly murdered my average.
Our class was the same also but at the end of 9th grade, there is a bunch of exams that determines if u make into the next grade or not. Supposedly all the bad kids didn't make it and one of the teachers started a rumor that our class got way better and now they don't view us as that bad. Even though our class was almost the same as last year
Lmao I'm always in the worst class.
I honestly hate my math teacher. She'll say "We've been learning this for so long! How come you can't remember this?" Or "You should all get 100%" And when she sees a student that doesn't get it after a while (that she doesn't like) she'll tell them, except in an angry tone. This is basically why I never ask for help :/
@@mochuyy mine is exactly the same wtf
Basically: Confidence has a _huge_ effect on performance, and your confidence is heavily influenced by people whose opinions you respect.
@ANNABELL CANNON *bad* parents:
Unfortunately
@ANNABELL CANNON :(
Doesn't have to people you respect, anyone with authority or influence over you
But more than that it shouldn’t ultimately depend on others or external validation too much otherwise one becomes a puppet controlled by this person or that circumstance etc. True confidence should always stem from within !
My mother always had so many mental issues when I was a child, so I always stayed quiet and listened to all her problems. Consequently, she said I was the 'good, quiet' one. In adulthood, I took a psychology class and realised she was a manipulative bully and a narcissist, so I stopped going along with everything she said. Suddenly, I was demonised as the difficult, selfish one. It's amazing how you're 'good' when you go along with everything they want, and 'bad' when you say no to manipulative lies.
This is actually a very scary and yet tragic phenomenon. in short, society pushes the individual down the path it considers to be appropriate for them. be it a serial murderer, or a successful celebrity.
That's actually an interesting view on this phenomena
Poor Joe, he deserved to be believed in.
ClioMako ...but he's a douche.
@@JaysonT1 He is also fat.
Hey Joe where are you going with that gun of yours?
@@JaysonT1 but he wasn't a douche before the coach stopped paying attention to him
Joe later became known as Wreck it Ralph.
That’s why good teachers are important. They literally change people’s lives
Speaking from experience, yess!!
Ikr
absolutely. i had average teachers until my freshman year of high school where i had the best teacher in my life. encouraged and inspired me so much in school and outside of school & completely changed who i am. also made me actually care about a class that i otherwise wouldnt have cared about
And bad teachers can ruin your motivation to pursue something, speaking from experience, I hate band and jazz now
@@charlesozuna8763 nooo, jazz is great
As a short man, this is relatable. The Pygmalion effect is strong with men concerning their height. People all around me have lowered expectations because of my height. It took me years and years to get my own motivation to be charismatic and confident despite my environment. It's not easy.
Correct
I always feel same. 5' 6"
What did you do different? I am sure you tried your best until that point. Did you just try even harder?
"...is there a way to prevent ourselves from being shaped by others in a negative way?" Yes! Spite...
Makes you wonder how much talent has been wasted over the years due to teachers/parents etc not knowing how to nourish it!
agree
TALENT ISN'T REAL
Alexey Stolovoy tell that to my 2 year old son who already knows thermodynamics and theory of relativity
Teachers suck cuz they dont motivate people ;"(
@@theinvincibles764 he just gives his best
In my native language, Turkmen, we have a saying "call someone dumb 40 times, and he will become one"
Indeed I know of it.
My dad also knew it, by still decided to call me all sorts of things regardless. Damn he lucky I don't wanna kill him, yet, I rather watch him go through hell, but at the same time I want to see him suffer, luckily for him I'm also lazy.
Right important parents don't call their children dumb or something. My parents did this very often and I believed it 🙁
Right important parents don't call their children dumb or something. My parents did this very often and I believed it 🙁
This way or another our parents teach us, now we all now how to treat our children. Not the best way to learn but still...
This is why as a coach you have to do two things: not get too attached to avoid bias in your treatment of players and never write a player off. Each is an individual and is on a journey that hopefully you have some influence on. You'll be surprised what players will start developing out of nowhere when you do.
@@carsonhunt4642 congrats you managed to type a comment completely irrelevant to what you were replying to
I remember having a biology teacher that had negative expectations about me for no aprent reason. To the point were she would ask a question, i would raise my hand to answer, and she would not notice, on a room that was like 10 feet by 10 feet with ten people in it. And she wasnt just maliciously ignoring me, my classmates had to point out that i had my hand raised and she was genuenly surprised she didnt see me, but this happened repeatedly. The way she treated me was so confidence destroying that i doubted everything in tests, biology became so hard for me, the only subject i had to study many days for an exam to only fail, that the next year i changed it for another subject and got better grades despite missing a whole previous year of teachings.
I think this is the reason why some people fails school because they get unmotivated to get there and learn something.
I went through hell and back to fckn pass highschool and guess what? I did it! I graduated and even through all those years of failing and having a hard time doing my work or being put down because I was “ smart enough “ I still did what I had to do. So whenever somebody wants to call me stupid I will tell them that I graduated ... my grandma calls me stupid but guess what? I graduated and she didn’t
This is why u have parents to motivate you, and yourself to motivate you
The question is , if someone thinks negatively of you , how do you reverse it?
@@FuckEMM808 you're the man
My principal treats me like joe in the basketball team. She always gets annoyed when I make a mistake, while she explains and laughs it off with most of my friends, especially my best friend. I hate her so much.
Edit: spelling
Edit: also I think she treated me like this because I was a new kid, while she treated the others better just because they were at the school longer. Moreover, she rarely calls on me for anything even if I'm an option and raised my hand.
A moment of silence for all those who were in the same situation as Joe
joe lean
Original Creator Who’s joe?
Konno joe mama
@@kristina4116 xD
@@kristina4116 Ah, I remember! Joe Mama was that fat guy.
This is great. I come from a schooling system that placed students in “A”, “B” and “Bottom”(or what they would refer to as “mixed”) set classes, the A class only got so much better. B remained consistent. Bottom class students dropped maths and tended to give a “I don’t care” “I’m barely even trying” attitude. Always didn’t like this system. Interesting to see how this video strengthens my belief
thats horrible
My school did this too
horrible horrible system @@TheUltimateKeyboardWarrior
This is why I made a personal hobby going against other’s expectations
Personally I prefer people not having any expectations just because it’s incredibly annoying having to meet them (the higher their expectations the worst, like you’ll have to work more than what you like to just to have others happy instead of yourself)
but when they assume I’m stupid it makes it really fun to prove them wrong, I have no minimum to achieve so if I fail at proving them wrong at the worst I just did the bare minimum and still succeeded in whatever was the task, but that’s just me as a self motivated adult, the coach from the example was an A-hole and should’ve been fired
Same for me. Most people had/have extremely negative views about me, either to somehow elevate themselves or its self projection. Doesn't matter, the picture they created about me in their heads which they have held onto for a decade is negative. I never let those people define me, I worked my ass off, and reached levels they can't even dream of. Now when they see me, you should see the psychological breakdowns they get when their view about me shatters. Its like a nuclear reactor meltdown happens in their mind, they can't process it.
From a little different perspective. I was taught a sequence by my uncle: "If you call someone a monster and repeat it every day, he will become one"
I like that a lot. Imma have to write that down
My parents say the same thing and then call me a stupid bitch
haklısın kardeşşşim
mine too
so if you call me handsome and repeat it everyday, i will become handsome
Joe deserved better. Hope you’re having a better life buddy😔
I was Joe, I’m having a nightmare ever since elementary.
@@Ray2311us aww 😔I love you for doing your best
You mean the Joe that got sick with hava?
Its a story and it aint true
@@yw6836 joe mama ahahsssjsskjsksjsks
Ok
i realized this a really long time ago. My sister and I were close in age but I was a little more outgoing and she was a little more shy and attached to others. It seems as though from a young age, I was fostered with higher expectations and over time my sister was given lower and lower expectations. She struggled in school while I got A's and B's and rarely any C's. My sister failed, almost got held back, and never graduated high school. I was involved in a lot of extra curriculars because my parents thought I NEEDED that and thought my sister didn't need it. They thought I had more energy, more of a need to express myself creatively through dance or music. My sister was not given the same resources that kept me out of trouble. She got involved with a bad friends, drugs, bad relationships. Now I am 21 and she is 23 and she doesn't have a job. She is living with my mom in a one bed-room apartment staying indoors literally all day long. Whereas I am in a private 4 year university going on my senior year and going to move on to graduate school.
All of this because she was seen as a struggling kid and expected not to do well from the get go. She never stood a chance because we were always being compared. I think my parents did the best they could I really believe that and I would never ever tell them this but they failed her. I know they tried hard and I know that they wanted the best and can't help their own biases but they still failed her. And I have vowed that if I ever have kids I will always try to give them equal expectations and opportunities. Every kid deserves that.
We never know how drastically our biases and expectations can influence other's life. I am sorry your sister's environment wasn't favorable.
You just described your parents failing your sister, I may not know the details but the way you described it is basically that. I think the reason why you still believe your parents did their best was because you yourself turned out well. Just because you turned out well does not make the way they treated your sister well (based on how you described it) was ok. This is just how I see it from an outside perspective based on the information you shared.
@@kaz_50oh absolutely they failed her
"My sister deserved better, but I'm never ever going to tell my parents that, can't ruin their perfect view of ME" mate you are part of the problem.
How selfish you are
Wow I’ve always vaguely thought about this concept but didn’t know it had an actual name and it is so true. I experience this just about every time I meet someone. Your looks and the personality you give off often causes others to have certain expectations of you. I often find myself trying to live up to those expectations subconsciously. Every now and then I would realize and question why I do the things that I do. This explains it
"Whether you think you can or you can't, either way you are right."
- Henry Ford
But what does that mean?
Except, the lesson here is: other people can control how you think about yourself (or, if they don't, it doesn't matter because you'll fail, even if you think you're awesome)
Josine Lafontaine True, but it is also a cycle. If I let other people's perceptions of me influence me so much that I begin to believe in them more than in my own perception of me, I would gradually prove them correct.
Some think they can and they can't.
Always hated that quote cause it’s sort of a hard to swallow pill
More appreciation -> more motivation -> more time spent -> more skill.
Simple as that.
There is a way to break this: Self-motivation despite what people may believe, and you prove them wrong by your own skill and belief in yourself.
Exactly and the cycle restarts.
Sneaky Weasel this has been blatantly obvious to me for years when I managed a store. I’m only bringing it up because I’m not a manager anymore and my current managers treat everyone like Joe. They don’t see a problem but we have been trying to communicate for several months now.
That's probably how it works for normal people.
@@ShadowPhoenix82 Yeah, because success have a lot of alternatives than 3/4 forms of improve skills.
Yep, very true. That's why it's important to try to be encouraging and find the good things to say about someone to them, even if it's hard at times. Or maybe a bit of a stretch. If they hear the positive things you believe about them, it will trigger a positive loop (and vice versa). Especially important for parents to encourage their kids, because other kids in school will say so many mean things for no reason, and if the kid doesn't have an authority figure combatting that negativity it will be bad for them
This is exactly what has happened to me every time this year either consciously or subconsciously, eventually resulting in poor performance of mine during preparation journey ! And now that I know what was going on I can totally cutoff or keep myself unheard from such people . Thankyou for this valuable information 🙌
This is why good looks often lead to success.
Same 🙃
That's an insightful observation ngl. I wonder how this idea could be used for good
And more importantly, why less attractive people get worse jobs, are treated worse, have less self-esteem, perform worse in tests, are less motivated and are regarded as worse human beings in terms of morality.
The latter is only reinforced by hollywood cliches connecting morally bad behavior with ugliness, and virtuous behavior with beauty.
I hate when I heard that. Especially since I know it might be true. But you can’t just be beautiful, you have to actually be good at what you do.
@@galacticlavalamp6338 This is true. The thing is just that people with good looks often get seen as better because of it (more charisma), meaning that they're trusted with bigger jobs, larger opportunities, etc. But what really wins out in the end is your ability, not how good people's initial opinions of you are
This is what happening in the schools for decades
Sometimes the students don't do good in exams cause of their own fault rather than the teacher and this video gives them another excuse why they didn't study.
Gaming with Thanos The video portrays well that a child that wouldn't be discouraged so much would be more inclined to work harder anyways. This video is about how our expectations of others can influence other people's success or failure. It's about shaping other people's behavior. Perhaps you should watch the video with a bit more attention this time.
Wtf is Mona Lisa holding in your profile picture
@@literallyasuka2996 Uh just some broccolis officer
@@GamingwithHarsh "No such thing bad student. Only bad teacher."
-Mr. Miyagi
The Karate Kid
I think I was a victim of this effect.. in art school I had a teacher that would often praise my work and made me feel confident and positive towards my art.. and that was when I saw the most improvement in my art. The teacher said my compositions were amazing. Then for the next 3 years as I went into higher division classes I got new teachers that constantly acted like my art wasn't good enough, they would constantly criticize it, and made me lose confidence in my work.
And so I stopped improving, I stopped wanting to go to class, which only worsened my grades, and it was just a downward spiral.. and so because of that I was never able to get a job in the art field and I have very low motivation to do art at all. The art school ended up destroying my passion for art and so I deserve my money back.
Idk about the moneys being owed back to you
I feel like its really important to train yourself to see the good in people, if you try to fake it it doesnt work, it only works when you have a genuine degree of admiration or respect for the person, i feel like being profecient at seeing the good in people and being able to show it is one of the best social skills there is. You help other people, and predispose them to treat you nicely, if youre already confident and charismatic people will get a big boost from being apreciated by you, but even if youre shy and kinda awkward, if people get the vibe that you apreciate them youll always come out at least as cute to them, no matter how awkward you are.
"Treat a man as he is, he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, he will become what he should be" - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Nice.
Nice
Nice
Nice
Nice
The way to prevent the opinions of others from shaping you, is to believe in yourself.. You, literally, can do the Pygmalion effect on yourself.
exactly!
I believe that I can believe in myself. And I believe I can do that.
AAAAH! Feedback loop! I'm going to go recreate Middle-Earth at a 1:1 scale on Venus. Then I'm going to write an AI that enslaves humanity for me, after which I will enslave the AI and force him to make me a fleet of Borg ships, which I will just blow up for fireworks. Then I'm going to create immortality, and travel back in time to the start all this, and fight myself to the death!
Your racist and a Nazi
Hmmmm....I'll try it
That can also make you a vastly delusional person though if you cant match the expectarions you inflicted on yourself
Woaw, I can relate to Joe, as during my high school days, our teacher used to treat us different and always favoured the person that performed better and eventually led us to think that we are not good enough and used to affect our performance and we also started missing the classes, but eventually things became better........So message to all the Joe(s) out there, don't give up man, just keep trying, don't stop....you will eventually make it
I think one of the biggest takeaways from this is that if something is not your strong suit, who cares? Just focus on the best you can. A teacher told my sister’s class that if you fail one math exam you may as well fail everything. I don’t want to sound selfish but I’ve failed or gotten below average grades my entire life in math and now I’m going to grad studies in history. So it doesn’t matter if you’re not good at something, the positive mentality that goes along with it is more important
But how can you have a positive mentality if you're never given positive reinforcement from others?
@@lesshuman00 You still have yourself to rely on, or you could surround yourself with ppl who give you genuine positive reinforcement, or you could prove to those who always criticize you that you are doing better than they ever could have expected. Easier said than done tho
"Higher expectations lead to higher performance"
People with anxiety: *yesn't*
People with anxieties, learn it from a very young age. Most likely from how their parents reacted to their actions
ay lmao yesn't that is true.. I was told I was smart etc. until I got to reading comprehension in fourth grade and my confidence dropped significantly because I was great at everything else but non-verbal (non-auditory word) comprehension and memory. I didn't have words for it at the time, but that's what it was. As I got older, I was still told you're smart, you have so much potential just keep at it you'll go far. But my feelings, my reality wasn't lining up with what was being said of me. I failed an AP English class in 11th grade and just barely got through AP History because I was so stressed about the work, anxious, and not confident in my abilities. Even still my parents kept saying, you're really intelligent I don't understand why this is so difficult for you, the reality for me caused me to lose all hope in my future. They weren't really seeing what was going on with me emotionally and with how I viewed myself, like I was just ignored a lot of the time, so they couldn't help... I remember seeing myself as someone who just couldn't keep it together, so what was the point in even trying.
So but yeah, higher expectations of someone has to be there alongside being paid attention to, being helped and encouraged, and being coached for higher performance to occur.
@@randominternetviewer166 I dunno dude, my family has genetically higher dispositions to anxiety despite us always being encouraging in homes and receiving praise for what we do.
Higher expectations CAN lead to higher performance, if and ONLY if higher expectations cause a positive effect on the persons performance, like getting more attention put into their training, support after failures, etc. If the higher expectations are unreasonably high or the person is not supported in any way, they fail to meet those expectations, and may blame themselves for it, despite the expectations being the problem, not their performance. I’d say that is one of the prime contributors to anxiety, as it is very easy to internalise these unrealistic expectations and the subsequent self-blame, which, in combination, cause a vicious cycle of learned helplessness.
This is too accurate
So that's why Harry Potter was the chosen one. It could be Neville Longbottom
Sinister Strawberry yes Voldemort started the pygmalion effect.!
Sinister Strawberry Can you expound on that? Lol
@@Hideotic As per the criteria set by a certain prophecy, two people were fit to become the Chosen One: Harry and Neville. Both were likely enough. But Voldemort attacked Harry who he felt was a greater danger for some reason. This made everyone think Harry was the Chosen One and no one knew about the other choice. And because Voldemort became a mortal danger to Harry, Harry fought back and defeated him. He, thus, fulfilled everyone's belief that he is the chosen one. Voldemort started the Pygmalion effect by attacking Harry.
Did you just watch a film theory about it?
And then you see the Actor who plays Neville now and your like damn
This effect is very similar to my expectations in school, where in school I was really bad in studies, but was totally opposite when it comes to sports...At that time i had already expected my sports teacher to treat me the way Joe was treated, so even if I had got no compliments I had gave my best because I just loved playing and at end even though was not treated equally like other players i won lots of gold medals which was the source of my motivation
Similar to the rats, back in high school band, some drum majors treated the group like we were the worst band in the competition group. Some treated us like we were something really special. Of course, the majors who believed we had potential were always so encouraging and excited in their leadership so we always performed better under their leadership.
Social response, regardless of how Allistics want to classify it as some magical spell, is nothing more then conditioning yourself to respond to the requirements of any given social situation.
How you feel about yourself can not be effected by how others feel about you... unless you have condition yourself to 'believe' otherwise.
Poor Joe, he doesn't deserve that, it's not his fault. WE LOVE YOU JOE
Javier Borrego well he should’ve lost weight.
I mean seriously, would he ever be that successful at sports weighing 18 stone
@@hansgruber788 he's just a kid joined their as a hobby. Who knows maybe losing weight was main the reason he joined.
Some people THRIVE on negative reinforcement. Look at the JJ Watt and Micheal Jordan. Look at boxing's new heavyweight champion. Those guys chose not to be victims
@@hansgruber788 Nikola Jokic would like a word
I Love You too Guys - Joe
This is why your self esteem should be internal and not external.
Restituto Ginhawa
Shut up, loser!
@@thereisnosanctuary6184 whats your problem kiddo
wordd
Arya D. His mom took his fortnite away. Let Timmy let out his anger.
Don’t seek validation from other people, you’re the greatest. Wait a second should you believe me or not?
I was a victim of this from my track coach and it it has affected me mentally since then. I always held myself to high standards and tried hard, but I was always pushed beyond my limits and got hurt. Any time I mentioned that I was injured and in need of some rest, I was berated for not wanting to be there and not wanting to be a part of the team. I still showed up anyways and continued to practice. During some sprint workouts, I was literally tearing up as I was limping as I ran. I still ended up getting pulled from competition in my final year because my coach viewed me as unwilling to support the team, regardless of the fact that I had went to every meet regardless of if I competed or not (even paid to get into some). Since then, I’ve struggled to sit down and think that I’m doing a good enough job at anything I do. It’s made it nearly impossible to appreciate the smaller goals and I always pressure myself to be the best. It’s rough, but it’s getting better.
That's a dick coach that is out to make you have a bad time. I don't wanna assume but maybe racism or prejudice? Or he's just a shit person. You did fuckin amazing.
Damn, try saying no next time
With respect, it sounds like you struggled with it before this coach if you were consistently training to the point of injury. It’s not the coach’s fault you felt you’re not good enough. Perhaps some self refection is your key to freedom.
I know there are a lot of trolls on the web. I swear that’s not my intention. As soon as you realize it’s always been you holding yourself back, you’ll realize you are the one in control & can honestly reflect on your behaviours which are holding you back.
Right now, it’s hard for you to see because you’re focused on blaming some coach you haven’t seen in years.
i expereinced this with my parents. When I was in elementary school, I did all of my assignments on time, didn't fall behind, and was motivated to do my work. But when I fell behind just a couple of times, my parents believed that I was a procrastinator, and they would tell me this so often, that it got reinforced into my mind, and I actually turned into a procrastinator. Now that I'm a lot older, I still struggle with procrastinating, parents really need to be conscious about the beliefs they have about their kids, because it literally directly influences how they will turn out in the future.
One of my teachers back in high school was a former sorority girl and she favored the popular kids and would pander to them. They could insult her to her face, make fun of her height and family, etc. and she'd take it/laugh it off. But I, a weird kid, snuck a peek at my phone and giggled once, and got kicked out of class for the whole period.
I had a teacher like this in eight grade, it was hell because the popular kids could crack unapropriate joke after unapropriate joke and she would laugh with them but if i even gave an answer or a question without raising my hand she would interrupt me or give me a death stare also whenever we played basketball or dodgeball at PE (which was very often) she would always pick popular kids to make teams and skip me and my buddies, it was arguably the worst year of my entire life and it has definetly left a mark on me. And the last thing, this honestly didnt matter much to me since i was treated poorly anyway, she would favor girls over boys and for example when a team had too many people in it, she would kick ME out who joined first and let the girl who joined last stay and she would always choose girls to do stuff like help other teachers who asked for volunteers carrying boxes and stuff and when we had to paint a wall for a musical we were doing she wouldn't allow boys to do anything and only the girls were allowed to paint and the girls were always allowed to play games and unholy poor taste songs on the digital board
@@waiting90dastochangemyname3 it's like...these people peaked in high school/college and are attempting to get back there by sucking up to the people who will do the same? It's sad, weird, not gonna work, and damaging.
Had a French teacher like that but instead of the popular kids it was the boys in the class. And I do mean boys, it was 7-8th grade. The girls couldn't say a peep or do a single thing during class without her getting pissed off. One of the boys threw a hacky-sac at her during a test and she failed me for it. It was the most bizarre moment of my life as I sat in complete confusion while the entire class told her it wasn't me and the kid who actually threw it even owned up to it. She actually failed my test too.
@HoneyedToast Horrible!
Jesus, I’m sorry dude
*Ok but I’m just showing appreciation to the Artist who drew this*
*cool story bro*
It's just templates from a whiteboard software. Anybody can make this.
I wish there was a real dislike button😂
@@TL5official he means that the drawing sucks ... and if he complements the drawer it'll get better
1000,000 subscriber with some vids challenge Oh okay no wonder most of the replies are kind of negative! I was taking the comment literally and thought that was a genuine compliment so thank you for explaining that!
I thought I was familiar with this sort of thing, but this is the first I've heard of it. I have to admit that this is one of the most brilliant phenomena I have heard about in recent years. I am impressed!
This simple explanation, reminds of what my mom told me about how our bad behavior could trickle down to our little sister if we didn’t improve it when we were growing up. Also reminds me of how people do gaslighting (unfortunately had a run through someone that did it, glad it’s over now).
All of my teachers told me I was shy and I believed them, until one day a teacher said I wasn't shy, I'm just quietly confident.
That changed everything for me and I started believing in myself.
AWWWWW
My experience was similar in the way that I had to come to the realization myself. People constantly reinforced the belief that I was deeply insecure or scared of sharing my thoughts. They couldn't have been more wrong. Really glad you are able to see the confidence you hold! More people should
thats fucking pathetic. why would you place so much value on random people who dont matter? all they are are people with a job. do you hear the 7-11 employee say something mean about you, and start thinking that its true?
@@FingerinUrDaughter wow that's so true. What kind of stupid little kid believes what their teacher says. We can't all pop out the womb as enlightened as you :(
@@FingerinUrDaughter Lol, you're a scumbag.
if I try to explain this to my parents they'd just say "well Joe needed to prove that his coach was WRONG and he should've tried harder"
That's my mom. She's all about proving the other person wrong about their beliefs of ourselves
This effect seems to neglect all other factors, like individual interaction between Joe and the Coach that might make him change his mind about Joe, or Joe having support from his other team mates, or like your mom said Joe's resilience. It's definitely not 100% true but , it's certainly arguable that this effect exists in our society
Asian moms
@@hippiefairy7333 how did you know omg
@@k-lahkhan1111 im asian too haha
Thats why we need good parents and good teachers. And we should feel good about ourselves too
This reminds me of my little league coach when I was younger. He was a no nonsense, extremely strict coach and he expected everyone on the team to do well. He is the type that yelled even if we won the game, if we gave up too many runs. We were undefeated and dominated the league that year. I played on other teams in other years, where the coach doesn't really expect much from a lot of the people, and ones who thought the most important thing was just to have fun and try your best and we always did really bad on those teams. Even if the couch was a hard ass, the high expectations from him made everyone a lot better.
As an educator, I've seen this over and over. I wholeheartedly believe in this. I do my best to approach each class as a room full of young geniuses.
Hmm. What you should be actually doing, is to try and see the value/enjoyment of motivating even those, who are (even if only in your mind) behind the rest of the class. Seeing every child as a genius will put unwarrented stress on those, who are simply lacking. Motivating them to do their best, even pushing them to their limits is what should be preferable, since that will teach them their own limits and will harden them enough, so that they will be able to withstand far more rigorous educations than they would. This goes for the gifted ones as well. Teach them to know themselves. Don't teach them to be full of themselves. Please. You'd not only do the kids a giant favor, but the whole world.
Damn is your last name really rice?
I thank and highly appreciate teachers like you. I was a student with a low self-esteem at the start of my freshman year. My maths teacher saw something in me. She slowly developed me and helped me grow, and become what I am today; a straight A student.
*Thx for the 18 likes haha.
All the best sir. I too wanna be the same 😊
Be my teacher! I wish everyone could see me as an intellectual...
Do not forget that this is a circle. Yes, other people’s opinions of you may impact you, but your opinion about yourself can impact the way other people view you, which in turn will continue to impact you. You always have a hand and a say in your own life. Make yourself the beginning of the circle.
Thanx
This is a strong message Grape🍇
@@ok8077 I will join Pakistan army and destroy India....Wow 🍇
Be the one to pick up the napkin first
This is the best message we can give to someone... Before looking after someone.. look for yourself love yourself
I remember when my friend believed in me, during one of the wost, or probably THE worst time in my life. And he re-established my confidence and I managed to go through my problems and succeed. Really makes me so greatly happy understanding what he did through this effect.
And this is exactly why as a teacher, I'm always encouraging and trying to help each and every student correct their mistakes and learn from them, rather than putting them down or ignoring the mistakes cus "they're just a bad student"
A teacher told me I was slow at learning and understanding and I believed her, and when I finally met a teacher that showed me otherwise, I had the highest grades ever in my life
You’re not supposed to end sentences with prepositional phrases
@@runpigrun
Why? We don’t speak classical Latin, which is where that rule was forced onto English from. As Winston Churchill said (ironically) about that claim, “This is the sort of English up with which I will not put!”
@@runpigrun Its not a sentence, it doesn't end in punctuation.
Same
@@runpigrun they got their point across so it’s fine
Plus you didn’t use punctuation so why are you bothering them about their grammar
Moral of the story, never expect nothing from anyone.
How did you reach that? If you expect nothing from anyone, then you will act with those expectations, and they will match those expectations, and so on. Under the assumption that this effect does work, then you are leading those around you to achieve nothing.
Gaming Tacos Read what he said carefully
@@gamingtacos381 He said "never" expect nothing. A double negative. So we should always expect something.
@@RedFloyd469 we'll just hope Rafael didn't commit a grammatical error and really understood or meant what he wrote there.
Red Floyd ! Oh shit you’re right. I didn’t read it throughly enough
This is why positive reinforcement is billions of times better than criticism if you want your SO to start/keep doing something.
I've been the head of a gaming community for more than a decade until I quit in 2019. My task was everything in between organizing streaming hours for each individual player and leading them ingame with at times well over a hundred people in our group.
In a leading position, ambivalence is the key. If the team is feeling too comfortable, you have to be the party pooper and make them get back in line again. If they're feeling down, you have to be the one to cheer them up in order to motivate them again. If someone is starting to get arrogant due to performing better than most of his fellow players, give their self-esteem a litte slap in front of everyone just to remind them that they're also cooking with water just like everyone else. If someone feels like the handbreak of the group and loses motivation due to being not as skilled as the majority of the rest, applaud them in front of the others for the things they did well so they'll start to believe in themselves again.
It's important that you don't praise somebody like a demigod or push them down like they're worthless. Always applaud them AND tell them what - in your opinion - they should work on to get better in a friendly manner. Just shift the balance between those two things a little bit according to the behavior of each individual subordinate.
If you're just fooling arround with your subordinates outside of business hours, make sure that you kind of "rotate" between each individual group (there are always groups, no matter the age, trust me), our make those groups join eachother in your presence. If you as the boss are hanging out with just one particular group too much, the others will think that those people within that certain group are your favourites, which in turn will make them believe that those people are a bunch of privileged ass-kissers. That's a really bad thing in terms of group dynamics.
On the other hand, if you're spending time with the others as well, they will feel appreciated by you as their boss and they'll be willing to give you something in return for that, which is performance and dedication to their task.
This technique does also come with the benefit that you won't have any favourites or people you dislike in terms of their performance and therefore you'll always keep a neutral, goal-centered opinion about certain situations, which makes problem solving a lot easier. If you manage to solve your problems, you will be more successful and success in turn is the perfect motor for your subordinates motivation.
Extreme underrated comment lol where are the likes
really nice comment indeed 👏
“Head of a gaming community” 🤓😂😂
This should be such a focus for parenting, schooling, and any place of employment... this would teach real leadership
Absolutely, leadership is the key word!
I dkn.. I work with some real shitbags. 😂
anyone who behaves like this should get their boomer shots.
Well in an ideal world yes... But it should only go as far as home..(parenting)... The school or the workforce has no incentive to encourage their students or staff.. This is the nature of a competitive world... If your not fit for the job, someone else can step up... If your not the ideal student,... Well there are consequences for being average or below..
@@dnegel9546 like jay
After seeing this, whenever someone tries to bring me down and I feel discouraged, me in my mind:"It's just the Pygmalion effect! It's just the Pygmalion effect! "
Their words have no power over you!
but maybe you're just bad ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Maybe not, but it sure helps you to have a more positive outlook for sure
Good use of the placebo effect.
Maybe you just suck dude
Higher expectations lead to higher performance ❤
That would be the 'Corporate Propaganda For Profits Effect', I believe...
Two videos down and to the left!
Personal experience: this works
I've always been the one who studied more and dedicated myself, some collegues of high school, not so much. Teachers gave more atention to me. But I've always wanted to help, to support, and I've discovered most of the teachers weren't dedicating tehmselves to these collegues of mine, making them sad and not very prpductive, or inspired... so they weren't giving too much importance to the classes
I've felt this effect from teachers, sometimes like chris but always like joe.
I felt like joe in my freshman year when I took volleyball, but eventually transitioned to badminton because I wanted to play but hated to go to volleyball, so I gave badminton a try and there I was treated like chris.
SO, APPEARANCES DO MATTER.
@@ritwikreddy5670 same my hs volleyball coach treats me like Joe
One of my football coaches treat my like joe. But the other one treats me like Chris.
Same
I was treated like joe by my lecturers in college until word spread out i personally made a mobile game and published to the app store. Considering how the average student is a dimwit, the lecturers started eyeing on me with more respect from then on. I felt appreciated so i became more motivated. Became more productive in the end too with a better respect by my peers who otherwise considered me non-existent and potentially worthless. Sometimes all it takes is a good impression to change your fortunes.
Moment of silence for all the people that been treated like Joe, You know who you are.
Nazzz Nazzz ... (just making silence here)
...
...
Nazzz Nazzz ....
It didn't come out of nowhere. Put some damn effort forth and break the cycle. This video is an excuse for the Joe's out there. "People think I suck so I might as well not try anymore. Not my fault. I want socialism now."
Yes, there is a way to prevent ourselves to be shape negatively by others, by start to knowing ourselves better (therapy). It's impossible to separate ourselves from the society that shapes us (and this is even harder during out teen age, were we consider very important what other believe of us), but we can take care of what we are while growing up by pay attention to ourselves and stop blaming others and the society for what we are, so we can actually get better as a person
There are so many comments about this being relevant to teachers. Wow this is relevant to all. I mean imagine if our boss and colleagues were to practice this Philosophy! Parents too and everyone, not just teachers!
Exactly!
That’s exactly what my mom did. I was born with autism and told I’d always be in the gifted (not in a good way) classes. I didn’t start talking until I was 5 and couldn’t read until 7 but my mom always told me not to worry about it and I had the same potential as everyone else. She’s sit down and read with me and help me learn. She’s encourage everything I liked including cooking, trains, certain books, art, crafting (towers out of toothpicks, etc.) my favorite was building stuff out ofntoothpicks. Even before I believed I was gifted in a good way or advanced my mom always told me I was to her. Now I’m graduating with two associates degrees for interior architecture and science before I graduate highschool thanks to a program I get to take. Thank you for everything mom ❤️
You have an amazing Mom. I believe you will continue to see more and more just how special your Mother is, in regard to raising you and all the encouragement. This is hard work for any parent. Your Mother loves you very much.
You sound a lot like my son! Your story is very encouraging.
EPIC!! so incredible and inspiring
Good stuff, bud.
Am so happy for you! And your mom is an amazing person!!
Joe: I'm going to play basket ball!
Random guy from the coach's past: I'm about to ruin this whole guy's career.
Basically lol
I thought he was gonna ruin the half guys career
LMAO😂😂😂
999 like
so many likes for a misquote...
This works in another strange way; in school some people in my class would get irritated with me when I would answer questions or score high grades. So they would call me a 'sweat', etc; basically thinking I spend all my time at home revising, when really I played video games, and relaxed.
Every time they insulted me it inflated my ego to the point where I subconsciously knew I was intellectually superior to everyone else in my class, so I always outperformed them. And teachers defo treated me with more respect too; e.g. with my Geography teacher I was his 'A* student', and then I got an A* for that GCSE in the end.
Most people lack self belief, so they preprogram their own failure.
David Icke calls this 'Little me'
Most of the time its not a concious decision, what if you had a teacher who didnt like you, who discouraged you in the beginning, you might have just had average grades, the guys in class would never have positively reinforced you. Your life might be completely different.
Most fundamentally what if you parents where less supportive and more destructive to your life? The whole chain reaction would have been different. Breaking the least resistance flow in a disruptive way is not something you randomly do, unless you have very concious awareness of what is happening.
A negative spiral can be incredibly damaging to your whole being, you generally need to just take your losses, get out, and search for those upspirals again, you can always fix your life, but not if you get stuck in a sunk cost fallacy. Im speaking from experience. As a matter of fact im trying to escape one right now.
@@Gardor Universe bless you brother. You will overcome all hurdles.
@@chaosevolution Thank you brother.
So that's how it's called! I always referred to it as the "self-fulfilling prophecy".
I used to have a tough time with authorities due to that very effect. I just couldn't do their expectations Justice not matter how hard I tried, until the right one came along who finally recognized my true potential. Working has become so much easier since then.
I’m a teacher and this was very helpful..I already try my best to treat my students equally and motivate them all, even the class clowns
... Have any of those students found your RUclips channel?
your class kids are lucky to have a teacher like you. i wish i had the same then i would have been much better
nawal10
I had a teacher who sounds exactly like you and she was the reason I started to like school. I’ve been told my whole life I’m the dumb one, but she had faith in me and I started to get better grades. I ended up getting into an honors class! It just shows how much teachers like you make a difference! 🙏💞
Yeah glad you are willing to better yourself could you be my teacher lol JK 😘
Beeing funny is a skill
Being a teacher means being a huge responsible person, it can change one person's live.
100% truth
Iife*
like the one who rejected a young painter
@@odddellarobbia4 adolfus
Exactly
I’ve always been greatful to the many educators who have seen potential in me and worked with me to develop it. Thanks Mr. Miller, Mrs, Lynch, Sra. Cisne, and Dr. Reilly.
😢
This happened to me on my grade in middle school. My math was almost top of my grade back then but the math teacher keep talking down on me, and at that year my grade literally dropped to barely passing. After that teacher quit school my grade went back up but I never really had interest in the subject again.
I feel like if you think about being able to avoid pygmalion effect, you could see people who managed to make big corporation (ex: sony, hilton, etc). People who make it big believe in themselves even if people don't believe in them, to the point you dare to take big debt to do it.
Of course there is also the case of those who didn't manage to succeed and suffered the debt, but we probably won't hear anything from those who failed
Wait a minute, your telling me getting treated like shit is bad for you?
No. She is dissecting how it affects you.
IMADGINE MY SCHOCK
Best comment 💀
But can you explain why I have this feeling that no one like me (in a romantic way) is because of me believing I don't deserve that or it'll naver happen?
@@Purity.Palette you have the feeling bc you have low self confidence
Wait a second. This is the EXACT reason why I stopped playing basketball back in fifth grade.
Damn, must’ve been annoying and hard for you
Oh yeah, it's all coming together
@@soc7967 it wan't really annoying, it was more confusing. In the time span of about a year, I completely lost all motivation to play a sport that I had been playing since I was 5, and I had no idea why. I realize now that it was because as teammates and coaches had lower expectations for me, I matched those expectations until I no longer had fun playing the game that was practically my only hobby besides video games. It was tough finding stuff I enjoyed for quite a while.
@@williamt1267 although I may not know you, I want to let you know I appreciate you and I'm glad you shared this with us.
@@williamt1267 when you work a job, you have to have a mindset that you're great. If you just start out and the managers treat you like Joe, then prove them wrong by overcoming what they said you cant, and that's how you can rise in a job
This also helps to explain the Pareto's distribution. The more you get positive feedback and praise, the more you improve, which leads to more praise, rapidly turning into an upwards curve that is self-feeding
Interesting. We picked up on this at work where customers can favor vendors (for bad reasons), but giving them more business nonetheless. Utimately making them more successful in return (or the bad vendor just makes sure to take care of their big new customer), reinforcing the belief that they were the better vendor to go with. And good vendors can be blacklisted (for whatever reason), obviously having real impacts too.
We called it the "perception is reality" effect. Exactly what you're describing here. And it really played into how we marketed ourselves and interacted with customers.
Never knew this was a defined phenomenon.
Let me guess, this was in your recommendations?
Yeap and I don't even know how and why?
YESSSS!!
Yeaap
Yes, it was
Let me guess, this was on you recommendations too.
This is why my mom would say, "You're not an idiot so don't act like one!" She wanted us to believe we were smart and capable human beings. I always felt like I could do anything if I wanted it.
Did you?
@@kharijordan6426 Well, what I really wanted to be when I grew up was a mother, just like her. I have been married for almost 15 yrs. with seven children that I homeschool. I am left handed and taught myself how to knit, crochet, and sew in a right handed world. Currently I am taking Handwriting Analysis courses from home that I want to turn into a home business. Several of my siblings are in or have been to college studying subjects of interest to them(nursing, business organization, family counseling, history ect). One of them at 20yrs.is about to get his pilot's license and his pilot mechanic certification. One, mastered Chinese and until recently was employed in China as a translator for a major electronics company.
@@naowright9308
Cool. I'm still... thinking threw stuff.
Glad you were able to live your dream of being a mom.
same like my mother told me, 'Actually you're smart but lazy'. Ah yes, i'm lazy af.
You are lucky that you had such a mom, when i do something wrong accidentally or not she yells, "YOU ARE SO STUPID!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, IF YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND SIMPLE INSTRUCTIONS HOW THE HELL ARE YOU MAKING IT IN SCHOOL??!!"
Great video to explain Pygmalion Effect in a simple way. Thanks for your hard work 😊👍
This is why introspection and self-awareness are two of the most useful things you could ever learn. If you understand why your own mind does the things it does, you can avoid inadvertently affecting other people in possibly negative ways, while simultaneously bettering yourself.
This is extremely important for us parents to remember. “Nurture” your children to a brighter future.
Agreed
I think its less of a danger for parents to do it (though it is more important for then to avoid doing it) and more of a danger that teachers and mentors do it. Cause trust me, I know quite a lot who do
I rarely meet anyone who actually nurtures kids except maybe a couple teachers and parents... But then again, being a caring person isn't a necessity for becoming a teacher or parent.
As a taoist would like to say:
Never let yourself become a prisoner of others expectations and opinions. Know yourself. Be yourself.
Boxspite but how exactly? Where does “one self” begin and end?
Well, I guess I should go toss myself in the trash can then!
This has become tainted advice nowadays with an egotistical, grass is always greener societal mentality.
@@thinkingmachine354 Thats for you to find out. Some defines themselves as they are what they are. Others think the full extent of their body and mind, all of it, is him. And there can be many interpretations of oneself.
All of it could be true and all of it could be wrong. There is no correct answer, only an insight. Where does it end and where does it start? I dont know. It might be that you are the whole universe, or it might be that you are a part of, or maybe, it might be your nothing but a spec of dust in the grand scale of things. Thats why we look at it, we ask what we are. Define yourself and dont worry if its the wrong answer. There is no complete and universal standard for who and what a person really is. I think people define oneself to get close to completely defining who they are. And what get from it becomes knowledge of oneself which becomes the basis for how should you act.
Well, I have talked too much. Sorry about that. To be honest, I dont know. All I have said above are nothing more but my perspective of the world and myself.
@@LIFEwithBAVAN Yeah I agree. Know oneself, Be thy self. It has become so over used that its meaning has been twisted and has been used to misled others into becoming what others want them to be. They say know oneself, be thy self, but none says or ask the question of what is the self and in the end, either by intention or by accident, the people who asked the question provides one with the answer by injecting their worldview upon them, causing one to believe it is the right answer. Once it becomes the answer, it becomes a basis for they will become. An example is a celebrity using herself as an example for an answer for the question of know oneself which some people will see it and interpret it as the right answer, making more people mimicking him or her, no matter the circumstances that exists in their environment might be.
Well I guess this is nothing more but finger pointing. But thats is how I see the world.
How about yours people?
Great video. It gives me pause on how I have allowed someone to "poison" my opinion about someone else, before allowing them to even try. I intend to correct that error next week.
Great! I've been searching for this video for long!
This is basically why the school system is failing. Low expectations creates a low bar to jump over. And when thee bar keeps going lower and lower in hopes more people will pass, you've instead dumbed down everyone.
Grimmjow Jaggerjack isn’t that what affirmative action reinforces. You expect minorities to do worst than Asians or whites, and so they do.
are all of u mentally handicapped?! oh wait i cant say that thats the polgmania effect. OH PLEASE. u sll know this. u dont let something out of you dictate or control how you feel or think. god damn its elementary this. no successful man or woman is extrinsicly motivated. and im talking about resl sucess here. Einsteins mozarts and michael jordans.
Many "teacherssss" didnt like em but who cares? they just did their thing fully expressing themselves
@@zissler1 No, affirmative action was made so that if two applicants are equally qualified you give the minority applicant a better chance of being hired instead of going with the default white guy.
Grimmjow Jaggerjack you have no clue about it, it counts as a score against you. So if someone has higher grades but is Asian and someone has lower grades and is black the black will get in as there are already a higher concentration of Asians. So in a way your already assuming they will not do as well. Sure you could say they both qualify or not, but it should be about the most qualified
@@zissler1 You're confusing what it was made for and how you see it working. I specifically said EQUALLY qualified because of what you just said. Affirmative action is not supposed to promote unqualified or underqualified people over those who have the qualifications. How people view, interpret, and see it working doesn't mean that's how it's SUPPOSED to be used.
“Imagine if you’re the coach of a basketball team”
Woah now slow down, you gotta start the effect small
Oh
Ok
Alright
Got it
Ahah
I quit a certain sport I'd practiced for a couple of years just because of that Chris/Joe analogy. Even if I was better and had more entusiasm, there was always something about another guy or girl that made them more appealing to the coach. So, he would focus all his attention on that specific guy and make him improve till he gets better than me.
The constant change of coaches made it impossible to me to even get the attention I deserved. When I started to get along with the teacher (after they'd helped the other guy to improve for a long time), he would leave after some weeks and a new coach would start the cycle again. I had SO much potential and that infurated me. It's difficult to get better at something when no-one takes pride in you or even encourage you
Great work with all of your videos! Thank you!
Damn that is scary. Someone else's beliefs about you have the power to change you and how you look at yourself. So toxic people are around all the time. That's probably why you need to stop caring what others think and don't let their actions define you. I'm not quite good at that, but if someone is tell me please
That's why good teachers and schooling is so important
Keep looking for somone to believe in you. Until then do affirmations in the mirror every morning, so that you go out into the world already having believed in yourself.
Say to yourself, "That's interesting. Is there merit in what they're saying?" If not, there's a million reasons to not take what they say to heart. I agree that affirmations will help get over the yuck feeling you got from them. I AM are the two most powerful words ever, so stay away from saying anything negative about yourself as well! (If you DO catch yourself, immediately change the phrase to positive.) If what they've said is true, improve yourself... then prove them wrong or just prove it to yourself. This life is for growing, learning, and bettering ourselves. The person saying negative and untrue things to you may just be having a bad day or is not on a journey of betterment.. because if they were bettering themselves they wouldn't dare speak to another badly. That is their story, their negative mind eating themselves from the inside out. Negativity creates chronic disease so keep your story full of light and love!
Be nice to others. Believe in them. Help them when it's sensible to do so. Positivity has an infectious effect, just like negativity. As a result, you will feel good about yourself and others will do the same for you, due to the law of reciprocity.
This is true. This theory will only take place if your affected by what others think about you. If you care less then you just do you.
Moral: Never belittle someone, and never let someone to belittle you!!!
Grandpa absolutely despised only two kinds of people.
Those who thought themselves above, superior and those who thought themselves inferior, unworthy.
He also taught us that humans are like maple leafs, they all look alike but you'll never find two identical ones...
However it doesn't mean one is more or less useful to the tree...
@@LeSyd1984 damn you had a great grandpa
@@LeSyd1984 The plural of "leaf" is "leaves."
Good thing no one told Einstein he was stupid. 😉
@@newbloomwon Smart people know they're not stupid but stupid people don't know they're not smart.
I really believe this, the problem starts when you can't help feeling negative about someone and therefore you cause your relationship with them to get worst and worst
As a product of an average US public school, I definitely felt this when I was younger. My confidence was low and teachers would project who they thought the good students were. As my confidence dropped so would my performance and my motivation. In high school a rebounded with enough confidence from joining clubs and making friends and my grades improved significantly.
I don’t consider myself a victim but the whole experience made me a lot more empathetic towards the lower ranked students. Sure, when you look at them now they wouldn’t study or do their homework, but that could happen to anyone once they fall off the wagon. After that point the teacher treats them with less respect and the effect snowballs.
I think this inherent bias will always be there, and public education is underfunded, so I don’t blame the teachers. But I think this concert is important to teach to people when they condescend down to others for having lower grades or education. The lines that divide children as they are developing are razor thin sometimes
This is why a good first impression is so important
@anne exactly. Why the hell would you label a person because you met him once?
And 'first impressions'...that label makes some people act fake because they want the other person to like them. Isnt it better to be yourself? If you trick them into liking you, you'll only inevitably disappoint later, or feel unhappy because you're always acting.
The point he was making is, this is why first impression is important regardless if you agree with it or no ,not everybody is gonna care or be aware about this - people are ignorant around the globe so you might as well go along with how things are instead of crossing your arms saying "but this Is ignorant " take advantage of this knowledge and not try to change the truth
@@dontsaymynameunlessyouknow8775 so are you saying we must try to impress someone when we first meet them? It's cool of you're saying so, but just want to know
@@edwardgyan9749 yea
Thats righr
A wise man once said,
"Believe in the me who believes in you".
RIP Best Bro Kamina.
;-; God rest his soul
Kamina?
@@chenweihua848 A character from a show called Gurren Lagann. The one who said the quote in the main comment.
Why did you have to write that I just barely stopped myself from shedding a tear. God damn
You brought a grown man to tears. Good job little buddy.
It's really fantastic. True, in a subtle way, we make opinion and judgement for others which definitely affects their thinking about them