Это видео недоступно.
Сожалеем об этом.
The Hoffman Process: Changing Lives in 7 Days
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 13 авг 2024
- The Hoffman process was designed to help us detect negative patterns of behavior, break them, and become the person we truly are. Today, over 100,000 people across the world experienced this intense journey of self-discovery.
#hoffmanprocess #psychology #sproutslearning #selfdiscovery
SUPPORT us to learn more about life changing experiences such as the Hoffman process!
/ sprouts 🐦:
DOWNLOAD video without ads and background music 🤫:
sproutsschools.com/video-less...
SIGN UP to our mailing list and never miss a new video from us 🔔:
eepurl.com/dNU4BQ
SOURCES and teaching resources 🎓:
sproutsschools.com/the-hoffma...
VISIT our website 🌐
www.sproutsschools.com
THANKS to our patrons
This video was made with the support of our Patrons: Judy Roland, Bettina Kind, Gatsby Dkdc, Enrique Arellano Farias, Vishruth Harithsa, Nancy Bueffler, Adam G, Tetiana Gerasymova, Raman Srivastava, Daniel Kramer, David Markham, Marq Short, Scripz, Muhammad Humayun, Ginger, Tsungren Yang, Esther Chiang, Badrah, Cedric Wang, Broke, Jeffrey Cassianna, Sergei Kukhariev, Andrea Basilio Rava, kritik bhimani, Don Bone, John Zhang, Mathis Nu and all the others.Thank you! To join them visit www.patreon.com/sprouts
SPECIAL THANKS to our co-author!
Elke Menzel, the director of the Hoffmann Institute Germany, helped us develop this video: www.elkemenzel.de and www.hoffman-institut.de
CHAPTERS
00:00 Parents almighty
00:20 Faulty love
00:38 Reducing friction at a high cost
01:04 The Hoffman Process
01:15 Changing Your Life in 7 Days
01:37 Our protagonists
01:48 Eva, Jay and Tom
02:36 Eva's past
02:56 Jay's past
03:25 Tom's past
03:53 The beginning
04:21 Day 1
04:51 Day 2
05:37 Day 3
05:59 Accusations and understanding
06:38 Day 4
07:02 The Development Plan
07:33 Day 5
08:12 Vindictiveness fades
08: 30 Day 6
09:07 Saboteur sabotaged
09:22 Day 7
09:40 Bob Hoffman's legacy
10:00 Learn more and never stop asking questions
10:24 Our fantastic Patrons
10:33 Support us
COLLABORATORS
Script: Jonas Koblin
Script: Elke Menzel of Hoffmann Institute
Artist: Pascal Gaggelli
Voice: Matt Abbott
Coloring: Nalin
Editing: Peera Lertsukittipongsa
Production: Selina Bador
Production Assistant: Bianka
Proofreading: Susan
SOURCES
www.hoffman-institut.de/wp-co...
www.hoffman-institut.de/
www.hoffmaninstitute.org/bob-...
www.gq-magazine.co.uk/article...
www.amazon.com/Hoffman-Proces...
DIG DEEPER
Still curious about the Hoffman process? Check out this personal account by journalist Janine di Giovanni or read about how Katy Perry and Justin Bieber experienced the process.
Help us reach more people to learn about The Hoffman Process patreon.com/sprouts 🧡
How did Tom regain his honor on that day?
The day you realize your parents were young and just winging it too is the day you become an adult.
that realization comes to me last 2 years
It's weird when you become an adult only to find that your parents not only WERE essentially children when they raised you, but they still ARE children to this day.
Yes, you can shortcut the process to a big extent simply by empathy and understanding.
Well said, Keif, very well said indeed.
Ah yes, i became an adult at 8 years old
@@-randomuser-4897 Me too! Perhaps I took too much responsibility on myself because I realized they might do worse than I would!
So much of our behaviour we think is part of our identity but is actually just adaptations to please our parents and society
true that
Hi Issac, I have something to say about that. I have gender confusion, I cross dress, I am not straight, or gay, or trans, I identify as queer. It’s connected with bad stuff that happened to me all through my childhood.
I have a choice to make, I can consider my gender confusion to be a symptom of damage done to me as a child, or I can think of it as a glorious part of my identity wherever it comes from. I choose the latter.
@@pranavmunjal9653 so it sounds like you’ve chosen to gaslight yourself. Do you consider that a healthy coping mechanism?
@@grayfox1298 it's just something that I learned over time that the people pleasing stuff was just happening from within myself unconsciously without realising what was happening but then I stopped doing so with due course of time realising what was happening and seeing the bigger picture I really did stop giving an f abt what society and my parents thought of me...rather I tried to establish much better relationships with both my mum and dad and now I seem to be in a much better position in life than I was abt two and a half years ago when all I did was please ppl but now it's just me focusing on my own goals and ambitions whilst keeping in mind the interests of my close ones and then taking an informed decision from professionals abt it
@@pranavmunjal9653 Good for you! My parents were both deceased by the time I was 40. I've done a bit of work on myself (the people-pleasing) and I got to the point of forgiving my parents. As they said here, our parents only worked with what they had, too. The damage done is done- it's up to me to try to sort it out now, for my sake, and my children's. xx
While much of this is useful, I've found (as the youngest of four) that much of who I am is also from relating to siblings -- both the good and bad they did to me plus my reactions to those helpful or unhelpful actions. Much of psychology seems to forget that we're not all an only child; the eldest is raised by parents but the younger ones grow up in the dynamics of a much broader range of people. I am who I am because of my parents, because of my siblings, because of those others around me AND because of choices I've made for better or worse.
Well written!
And don't forget teachers. Some can make a child's life even more difficult if they reinforce what is going on at home. Teachers are often the cause for other children bullying a child that stands out because of a lot of negative or positive attention from the teacher.
I'm the oldest one, my parents just graduated 1 year from college. Sister who is 3 years younger and a brother who was 8 years younger. My sister was raised a bit the same as me, my brother has been raised on a completely different way. True... even within one family there are different dynamics based on the time, place & situation.
They actually made a video on that
100% One of the biggest influences in my life was my older brother, and how he treated me. Being constantly belittled and degraded by someone who your supposed to trust, and who is supposed to be more of a protective figure gave me massive trust issues.
Regardless of what other people have or haven’t done, there comes a day when you have to choose for yourself to get better. It’s very hard but it’s absolutely possible, if you change your thoughts you will change your life. God bless.
ruclips.net/video/O_E-KTLktlU/видео.html
AMEN!
Amen to that! It is hard work, but worth it in the end!
Every once in a while you run across a wise and intelligent comment on the Internet. It’s like a flower poking up through the pavement. This is one of those.
Funny how the root of all mental health problems leads to our parents. Feeling it in the core rn!🙂💯
Most but not all. There are genetical, social and traumatic factors that are really important to mental health and behaviour as well.
So am I
same here
and our children's will be us
Yes. I would say more genetic here, not that bad things did not happen to me as a child. I know exactly how my Grand Mother, Father, Sister, and Brother were, are. Divorced parents for instance, loss of Younger Brother. Favoritism. My recent problems would be to try to have my children not be like me, which is stupid, futile, just create problems between us. My children are young adults now and my job in raising them is done. I also have the benefit of experience and looking at the good aspects of myself; something I wish I could have when younger. There is definitely a point where you stop the parent work and be adults in a family and enjoy each other. Children just can't leave and be established as soon as my generation did. I definitely knew I never wanted to be in a divorce and put my children through the cringey blended family thing.
There's a phrase in a Chuck Palahniuk book that's very powerful and it goes: "we only become adults once our parents die. Because before that we're always doing everything either to proud them or spite them"
“You’re not welcomed.” That resonates with me. I’m starting to reflect and now understand... Thank you
Yes you're right
Crazy how our perception of our parents change over yime
Yeah. Mine went from mum to cunt pretty quick.
For some it's best to just leave. Some parents aren't capable of having healthy and functional relationships. Some people were were just born into irreparable situations.
Yes,
There are a lots of parents that did their job so poorly and they never changed.
So the idea to come back to reestablish connection is dangerous and counterproductive
Happily that psychology has improve from that time, and now we know what is about cluster b parents and people, really soul killers.
Most of the time they do not deserve to have childrens
The hypocrisy of the family as a institution that is always good and sacred is slowly been recognized as a lie, when the parent are not fully developed.
I disagree to the "some were just born into irreparable situations."
It can still be fixed, but it is an agonizing long process. It may even take them close to their deaths to change, and that's still progress. Late progress that is, but still worth the change.
@@kalebgonzales4009 Agreed re: the 'possibilities' for change in anyone, though in the case of serious 'cluster b' parents (NPD/BPD, etc.), it realistically probably ain't gonna happen, and anyway it's not our _'obligation'_ to 'fix' them.
@@LowenKM haha that true, only they can fixed themselves. That goes for us as well, that why, if you are going to be a parent. Be good to children, especially in developing their minds and be similar to example C in the video.
Yup, I had to leave. The hardest thing was people asking me how could I? It wasn't easy or a light whimsical choice. Often doubted if it was the right thing to do. Later a relative confirmed it was a good call.
You are such great team of creative teachers to provide us with complex information simplified and animated.
Concerning this topics, it sheds the light on the fact that no one is just the way he or she is; there is always things behind the scenes that we don't easily know about, including childhood. Thank you!
It feels so bad that they have such a good content and so little subscribers
I think it's about the access to their content. If they would simplify the language in their content it would reach broader audience.
@@innomind if they add subtitles for other languages they will gain more subscribers
@Spoiled Hu dikkat hai???? What truth ?
@@faribx0687 instant gratification vs delayed gratification. The first one always wins the popularity game.
Are 1 MILLION people a joke for you? People who really gives attention are worth x10 people that just entertain them self.
I have only just discovered this channel but I absolutely LOVE it already!
Hats off to all involved. I doth my cap!
Never seen someone who summarised so much valuable content in a single video! This is perfect
Make peace with your past is important. Thanks for that advice
I only understood my father long gone after his death and I was able to develop a beautiful friendship with my mother, after I turn forty years old. Now I'm fifty four and my mother is one of my best friends. And life goes on.
This video is for my kids. So I can recognize when
I might be hurting them
This journey took me about 25 years for mom and 30 for my dad. Every step they talked about was right in the feels. Good job, just wish I could have learned these things long ago.
One of the most powerful RUclips videos on this site
Fun fact: Not every personality disorder comes from your parents. Some of them are created by the many MANY wonderful, refined and kind people you are surrounded by: Like your neighbors, who can break your stuff and then ostracize you after. Your teachers, who control your future career prospects. And your boss, who can make you live under a bridge with the stroke of a pen. If these people want to abuse you, they pretty much can. If you lash out, then you are the problem, not them...
True, though perhaps we might ask ourselves why we chronically seem to *_attract_* such people into our lives in the first place?
@@LowenKM Maybe if someone suffers from an extremely painful physical disability that limits their interaction with normal people? Maybe most people don't like those who are different, more quiet, stoic and reserved? The harder it is to relate to someone, the easier it becomes to ostracize them. That's just my theory though.
@@robdom91 Perhaps, though we all have our crosses to bear, with some simply less obvious than others. Except the successful ones somehow manage to avoid the temptation of Victimhood (aka, 'Entitlement').
@@LowenKM Where I'm from we don't have victimhood. It's not a thing here. Victimhood and entitlement are western concepts, mostly American. It is a snake oil only beneficial to the one who sells it. Nobody in their right mind would want to be a victim! I wouldn't want to be pitied. If anything, most disabled people I know do their utmost to hide it so they can fit in. We want friends who understand us and can look past our differences. Can't make friends with someone who's too busy feeling sorry for you. The trick is to figure out how one can be successful in life despite our shortcomings.
Well, sometimes, being illustrated by a cartoon is ironic or symbolically perfect. This *is* a simplistic summation, possibly of Arthur Janov's "The Primal Scream." Although I will say this; It's the only place I've ever heard the term "subconscious" used to describe where our hurt goes correctly. It's the sense I've always used it in.
But I'm constantly astounded by how many people think this is new stuff. Apparently, I have a highly unusual level of empathy. I see this everywhere.
I explained to my child that looking to each parent for relatable quirks noticed during self reflections gives the known quantum values that may or may not be pertaining to baseline psychological value sets...
She was 3,
stared at me for a while,
and threw the toy she was holding at me,
but later understood the gist of what I meant - quite early in life 😎
Sounds like you got a exceptionally clever girl!
Loved the way of explanation, and animation,
So thankful for the information of how to reshape our behavior ❤️❤️
Thank you so much 😀
I don't think we can put ALL the blame on our OWN parents. As we grow up we're exposed to all kinds of people. Other children we are surrounded by, and teachers. All these people affect our lives and we need to be given the tools to deal with all these entities as we go along. Sure, parents can be rotten to the core, but not for the majority. The Bible talks about forgiveness for a reason. It eats us alive if we don't learn how to forgive.
Cope
It's not about blame, it's about growing and learning. If anyone from a family of toxic abuse needs to be forgiven those of us who went through it need to give our energy to forgiving ourselves for not knowing. If you haven't gone through this then it's not the same for you as it is for those that have yet we aren't blaming we don't care anymore we just want to heal
You lost all credibility the moment you mentioned the Bible
You can't forgive without assigning some kind of blame before. If there's nothing to be blamed there's nothing to be forgiven for.
Assigning blame to our parents isn't something we make out of spite: it's a way to validate our own thoughts and feelings in the relationship
@@starter_4008 I am not a “Bible thumper”, but do think it contains many passages of basic truths and wise admonitions worthy of our attention. Perhaps it would be worth exploring why a mere reference to the Bible causes such a strong reaction/rejection. It is, after all, only a ‘book’ and the only ‘power’ it has over you is what you grant it.
We have layers, like an onion, a cake and Shrek... :-)
Out of joke it seems we spend part of our lives just building layers on top of another deep inside and the other part of life reshaping it all!
Many thanks for this video! Good job!
I was intrigued by this video, so I looked the process up. Please be careful, aside from costing a lot, it's certainly not for everyone and there are things that can go wrong... Plus, the positive impact on your life usually doesn't seem to last - that requires real psychotherapy. Don't get me wrong: I'm still intrigued, but I'll probably find another way to make peace with my past.
Try meditating.
It helped me get over a lot.
I can only recommend meditation.
Hey thanks for the comment!
Real change requires real work, not just a 7 day workshop
I agree with you, the Hoffmann process (as any other psychological process) has its risks. Yet, I went through the Hoffmann process some 18 years ago. I've done personal work for more than half my life, but still the Hoffmann is THE process that impacted me the most, and the one that transformed me irreversibly (into the "me" I've been all along, if that makes any sense). If you ever want to ask questions and are considering attending, I'll gladly help.
@@oohehoohahahtingtang1232 Any recommendations to which meditations are good?
Thanks to the researchers we have explanation for this and above all a big thank you to this channel that they are providing knowledge in this section. Not in every country or in society people talks about these things. Glad that i came across here today.
hey, we appreciate your kind words :)
in love with this channel
This is incredibly one dimensional. not Sprouts presentation, but the Hoffman Process. Without an unusually insightful/mature professional guiding this, it can be a net negative to the participant and their family.
Ok. Whew. Glad it wasn’t only me thinking this. The entire video was predicated with MAJOR blanket assumptions.
I once dated a girl who had many issues, encouraged her to go to therapy. Unfortunately we realized all the therapist did was trying to convince her that her parents were to blame. Her parents were some of the best I ever met, and she agreed they were good parents. She soon got feed up paying 50€ an hour for being told in how many ways parents damaged her, never addressing her real issues at all.
@@sultanofswingdrift3021 What was the real issue, if you don't mind sharing?
@@phoenix. in the end it turns out the meds she was having were 90% of the problem, she changed her physician and is doing much better now. Noone will return 6 years she lost though.
Turns out some psychiatrists need more help that they are able to provide.
@@sultanofswingdrift3021 Hope she's doing better now, thank you for answering.
Thanks for this insightful video
Came across this channel,, such great insights.
Awesome, thank you!
Thank you for sharing.
Great drawings!
This whole video also reminds greatly of the second epilogue of "War and Peace" discussing the dependence of human will on external world.
I can't believe I figured parts of Hoffman process by myself. Still, got stuck at completing it. Now that I know about this, I will further learn about the process
Great video! Thanks for the content. Weirdly feel similar to all 3 case studies 😂
The truth is people need to expiate their own defects on someone to admit them and that is how this process works. But the real growth happens when we develop accountability
But with (so-called) role models like former President Trump... Their is neither accountability, growth, nor mental health
Parenting is not a joke
People have limitations.. and Parents are people.
And children are often ignorant of their own influence on the outcome af any given moment. Children do illogical, abusive, selfish and short sighted things all the time.. regardless of parenting. Being a parent isn’t easy.. and in school your child might learn not to respect you, not to listen, and blame everyone but themselves for why ANYTHING doesn’t go how they want it to.
Simply? Y’all need more Alan Watts… life is short..Live YOUR life, Socialism is living for what someone else needs.. run your OWN game/race/life.. win or lose, at least you will really know whose life you are living, and who is responsible (you).
great process of mending broken relationships...tks Sprouts..keep up❤️
Simply awesome!!
Bunch of thanks to the creator of this channel 🙂 The videos are helping me a lot in UG.
Yayayay! Thank you so much. Keep learning :)
This is waaaaaay to simplistic!!! You don’t spend your childhood in a bubble with only your parents!! There are countless things that impact us not only in childhood but at every stage in our lives! In addition, our society has been on this ‘blame game’ train for decades - at least since the 60s! ‘It’s someone else’s fault you are the way you are.’ Instead of - taking account of your behavior, taking responsibility...and making the changes needed. Things happen to you in life...that’s life! How we decide to react or dwell or take it out on others is entirely up to us!! It’s called being an adult!! You take responsibility!! Unfortunately, we as a society have coddled children far too long!
We’ve made childhood last into the early (and for some, into the late), 20’s! We haven’t wanted our children to struggle, to suffer. But...having to struggle/suffer is what builds character and empathy. Why are our 20-30 y/o’s running around disrupting, demanding, destroying, waling, screaming, talking/yelling over someone else...all in the name of “___________” cause???? Bc they are behaving like spoiled children that know if they act out they will get what they want! And unfortunately, the so called adults in this country, from every walk of life, from universities to politicians, and everyone in between, are still acting like the parents of today who, when their kid is acting out in the store will say: “honey, plz stop.” (They continue), “honey plz stop...if you stop I’ll buy you ______”! This is the level of insanity we’re dealing with!
The WWII generation. Which is almost all gone, was called the greatest generation. Why? Because, as children they struggled! Their life was very difficult!! Which made them (and their parents), have the mental fortitude along with the willingness to sacrifice what was needed to fight against tyranny!! (Though there’s a lot that came out of that that I disagree with). These strong men and women, who mostly had next to nothing, turned everything around and made us the wealthiest, strongest, and most generous Nation on earth!!
As the saying goes....
“Strong men create good times, good times creates weak men, weak men create hard times.”
We are in the latter part of that statement. The question is....will these ‘weak men’ be the final catalyst plunging the world into the utter darkness of tyranny, as their utter brainwashing from the boomer generation has them believing ‘socialism and climate change activism (changes that only affect the first world but doesn’t regulate anyone else, the true polluters)’ is the only way to save the world.
That saying is gold.
My mom sacrificed for us and worked really hard but had extremely negative attitude towards everything and lack of empathy.
Dad simply didn't care. He existed in the corner of the living room and never communicated with his kids about anything.
Today I'm 37 and living in the aprt above them. Mom nags at all my life decisions. She believes she's more perfect than God. Dad just wants to meet God. I always criticized him for not caring but I know understand mom was thorn in his pleasure center. She killed him on the inside and completely emasculated him. She trying to do the same to me...
Wow! This is so similar with my life and my children... scary.
There are some patterns ongoing all around the world...
@@marcosrogeriocostabarros2596 for some reason i think my marriage is ending up the same. Something on the subconscious level is leading me to the same fate as my dad.
@@pscrypto966 Hi,
I understand from this video that what we call fate may actually be a negative pattern of behavior that we adopted from our parents, in present case, or any other important person in our lives.
While we grow old we are able to trace the roots of this (negative) pattern and our longing to break it down and reshape it according to our inner desires or aspirations.
I can see similarities in my life with what you mentioned in your family. And in regards to marriage I can see that mine started all wrong from the beginning... and it was "destined" to fail, not because of fate itself, but as natural result of parental and religious patterns imposed on me.
I hope this is not your case and that you can truly find & follow the very best pattern to your marriage and life!
I understand you very well brother. I think you should forgive both your parents, don't hold anything against them, this will deliver you from victim mentality. I don't know if you are religious at all but the whole world is broken and there is only one way to fix it, his name is Jesus! God bless you my friend!
Then move and focus on your life. Have empathy for others. Help yourself.
So fortunate humans are to always have others to blame.
Dear Sprouts Team,
thank you for your wonderful videos. I found your channel about two years ago between recipes for Brussels sprouts and I got hooked instantly. I am going to school to become an early childhood educator and I have often suggested your videos to watch in class which we now do all the time. I love the drawings that go along with the narration and I love the wonderful voice of the narrator.
Hats off to your team and thank you for educating us
Wow! That is great! I would like yo know more about tve Hoffman proccess! Thanks a lot🙏🙏
I tryed to be always nice to be more interesting to people because im not good in beauty.but it killed me. But now i know we cant make everyone satisfied because People are different and kind of selfish.but im late im an anxiety patient now😔
Thanks!
I feel like my parents were very good to me, but I internalized traits and attitudes I observed about them. Ex: My mother didn't exude a high level of self confidence, while my dad was very confident, and still it took years to develop mine.
Interesting video.... really so much informative 👏👏
This was incredible
great video, lots of self reflection needed.
I kinda escaped my parents/family, but now my mum is getting old, we do not get on...we are almost enemies, same with my brother...my father died...I still feel sorry for him....I understand where they were coming from...I know they did the best they could...they should not have had children.. I know I should not complain because .it could have been much worse...They are/were victims themselves...but I am still full of contempt...also because now my mum is old...I have returned...and I am happy to be back geographically to were I was born...the problem was not place but the people...mother would love to trap me in her spider web of misery, her lifestyle, or have me like a pet /slave / doll, yes a prop-doll... I want to help her , but I do not want her to destroy me, not her and not my blood-brother...somehow I hate(too strong feeling, I do not really hate them) and I love them( yes I love them, as I love everything)...I would happily never see them again, but I feel obliged...and this is true, my own moral dictates I have to do as much as possible for them, visit help be nice give love...but without letting them to destroy me...to me they are ugly creatures...but it is not their fault really...and I cannot change that...which is sad
What culture do you follow, if you don't mind me asking? Could there be a safe distance/middle ground where you are close enough so that you can take care of them, plus you are distant and independent enough to escape the "spider web"?
@@ABB-rs8wm I am a westerner spanish but I have lived half of my live in the UK...What culture ? I dunno. There are things from different cultures or traditions that I like and adopt , making them part of my lifestyle...I am trying to keep a safe distance while I am still close same country...I am trying to be patient and not to worry or get angry.
Thank you
For anyone wanting more depth and information on such a process, look up Teal Swan.
Thank you!
U r always great dear sprouts
Amazing video, keep it up! :)
Very enlightening... thank you.
9:58 This video was going well until it mentioned that even celebrities have taken part in the process… Isn’t there already enough celebrity worship? Thanks for the rest of the video. Definitely worth following up on this method. Cheers.
I cut it out. Thanks again for the reminder
Why is that celebrity worship? Just meantioning them?
Wish I came upon this in my teens to early 20's LoL
Knowing the whys does not free you. Forgiveness frees you, but it is way easier said than done. The memeories have hard wired our brains into the adult we have become and overcoming is a moment by moment choice.
Batman should definitely go through this process.
really makes you think!
Why did this video make me cry so much?
That's normal
Very good.
Thank you for this video.
The technique is making piece with your past. What if you past unfixable?
You achieve peace by understanding what happened instead of being controlled by it. You are not ought to fix the past, just understand and deal with it.
I fear being abandoned but the first fact you learn without much search is we are all going to die but the time we remember and cherish goes on with us attached to our energy as it passes on into the next phase of existence so be grateful for seeing the light of love in others
Learning by trying,failing, doing
Really liked it.
But, how to get peace with the past - that is interesting question. Yes, I learnt that today's behaviour is the past reflection but to get correction and at what stage ?
You achieve peace by understanding what happened instead of being controlled by it. You are not ought to fix the past, just understand and deal with it.
It's not just our parents that cause our issues though. Like me for example, I have issues asking for help even when I really need it. I know exactly the cause of this. I was a kid with a learning disability, it took me longer to do the things other kids did, but I looked fine and I acted fine so my struggles were blamed on my work ethic. I would ask my teachers a question and get yelled at because I was practically hours behind the other students. I didn't like getting yelled at and it sure didn't make me faster so the next time I would try a little harder and take even longer to ask for help. This proceeded on, only getting worse, until I just stopped asking questions. Anything I definitely couldn't answer got turned in blank. I'm still afraid today that when I ask for help, when I show vulnerability, I'll only be yelled at or demeaned for my shortcomings.
All that emotional baggage was caused by a series of shitty teachers.
If you had had Emotional healthy parents, they could've talked to your teachers and explained your problem and asked them to treat you with respect.
In a healthy family environment a child feels comfortable to talk about any struggles at school.
So it's your parents fault that you suffered at school.
@@melis6294 This kind of thing happens a lot. Young kids respect the authority of their teachers, and unless they do something very very wrong, kids don't actually know that their teachers are doing anything wrong.
If I knew that it was wrong of my teachers to yell at me for this I would've told my parents. Instead I believed what my teachers and even sometimes my parents told me. That I was smart enough to do the work, I was just too lazy. I was too young to understand that I had attention issues.
@@melis6294 I should mention, it was ADHD. I was actually evaluated for it in something like 1st-3rd grade, and my dad was told I didn't have it. Young girls express it very differently, and in general with many disorders it's harder to detect in young women, because we're taught at a young age to mask it unintentionally.
My parents were involved in my school life. My grandma, and then my dad, helped me with homework after school everyday. There was often talks with my teachers.
I also knew stranger danger, I knew severe stuff that teachers could do that I should tell my parents. As a kid I didn't really understand why I was slower then the other kids. I didn't put it together. When my teachers yelled at me I thought they were right, that I just wasn't putting enough effort in. This is especially so because I had multiple teachers do this, to some degree or another.
I had really great parents. When I got older I got evaluated again, and medicated for it. I know I said about the smart but lazy thing sometimes my parents would tell me that too, but this was only after years of teachers repeating this to them. They were very supportive overall.
Parents can't just read minds, and it isn't like this specific situation would be something anyone would specifically think to look out for. I trusted my parents a lot.
@@IamJenJen101 The fact that you had a learning disability just proves how emotionally dysfunctional your family environment was. We are shaped since birth by the dynamics, moods, behavior, of our caretakers.
Ask yourself how emotions were dealt in your home. What happened when you were sad, angry, lonely, disappointed, etc.
How did your parents handled your emotions since you were born?
It's not enough to say you had great parents, you have to analyze the emotional environment further and deeper.
I recommend listening to Patrick Teahan here on RUclips he's a trauma therapy specialist and eventually get one on one Therapy with a trauma therapist.
@@melis6294 ADHD is a neuro disorder that is genetic tho? Like there's no environmental factors that caused my ADHD I was just born with it. Unless your implying that sense I have ADHD that means one or both of my parents likely have it and caused me to have a bad childhood.
Thankyou
I have come to realize as much benifit, or more from youtubes comment section, than from the videos them selves!!!! most of which are selling somesort of product!
Congrats 🎉 if you are all the three persons
I was in need of this video 7 days ago
Many in this world never pass past the blame game. Parents may be the biggest influence in your life, but there are many more people feed into your life. This kind of psychology is based on emotion and feelings, and has nothing with taking responsibility for your own actions and emotions. The day you realize that you are as human and capable of error as your parents are you forgive and grow up
The odd thing is, when I ask clients how they would picture the Saboteur, they often tell me it looks like a dwarf. Often frantically working hard, but not aware of the damage it is doing to the Person.
I like that it's about understanding (not blame) and forward momentum (no longer stuck). It has limited utility though. What if the parents are alive and want nothing to do with the child after the process? What if the parents didn't ever really give it their all? Some people make awful decisions. Some people intentionally hurt others. We can understand reality and the apparent impact without minimizing or offering flawed reasoning. We can't explain it away with generational patterns. It is what it is, and from there we can choose to forgive or not, to live out new experiences in relation to others or not. Also, I don't think it's a good testament to the process to say certain celebrities went through it. Are they really the most notable graduates of this method?
I can kind of relate to the vedio. My mother used to always blame me for all the mistakes even when she was at the fault. I used to let most of the things go as I was a kid and thought whatever shes telling is right. because of that I always tried to avoid things so that I won't do any mistakes and get blamed. As I kept growing I realized my personality is holding me back so I tried hard to move past it. Now I won't say I am the centre of party or something but little better than how I used to be.
'become the person we truly are' a phrase that IMHO borders on the absurd challenged simply by asking 'how do you know' - what if breaking these so-called negative patterns of behavior removes one further from 'the person they really are'. I suppose it starts with how or who determines the definition of negative patterns of behavior. I simply cannot help feeling skeptical as to the reason or motivation when hearing 'become the person you really are'.
Fixed me in 10 mins thanks
Blame is lame.
Forgiveness is liberation.
I wish my parents were still alive so I can talk it out with them.... they both died way too young and I've got so much unresolved trauma. Relating to example no. 3.
Sprouts Always Finds A Way Of Making Everyone's Day Better 🤩
*They're The Inspiration For Small RUclipsrs Like Me 🖤*
How can we ordinary people replicate the experiment on our day to day activities?
1and 2 is for me. And something else also which was not mentioned.
This seems like a good start for some people. Though, I don't know if this will actually help people with crippling drug and/or alcohol addiction. Definitely a start though.........
All that has offended me I release, I now release everything and everybody of the past or present, I am free and they are free too, All things are cleared up between us now and forever.
9:13 wait, how did they "deal with the saboteur"? Where is the dwarf? Oh god, they kill dwarfs there!
We all know all this. It's called people problems. This video says it's about the Hoffman Process, not people problems. I saw zero on that. Give just 1 example of how Hoffman does this! Even a vague explanation! Ex: Talk therapy means you sit and go deep discussing your feelings and experiences and the therapist may help you see things differently or from other points of view. OR, in coaching you learn tools like being taken through skits where you embody your inner child or the hurt you, or the strong and resilient you, and speak from there....etc. This long, elaborate video had SO much potential to do this, but did none of that. Amazing.
@15 seconds in: From my earliest memories, I viewed my parents as lost, confused and miserable ... I felt sorry for them - even though they were ridiculously attractive people - talented and intelligent - but they both grew up with horrible mothers... which had a ripple-effect into the lives of their own children - that was the problem.
Omggggg it can change pattern education !
Look up the Emotional Maturity Instruction, developed by Dan MacDougald.
Bruh I do be relating to Jay on a spiritual level doe. Not bc of my parents but bc of having a twin that's more extrovert than me
It sounds like Hoffman is saying that all our problems stem from our parents.
Which is elitist at heart. Because, it discounts the problems society, culture and our own genetic tendencies play. Those cultural and social effects are often far more profound, especially today, when parents spend so little time with their children. Cultural and social projects like school and activities taking up most of it.
How else could children raised in religious families become atheists... unless social and cultural effects overwhelmed those of their parents?
Put another way, no matter how good the parenting, if a child is beat about the head and face whenever they leave the house, they will have issues. No amount of attacks on the masses of parents will solve those issues.
that case you mentioned with the religious parents whose child becomes atheist is exactly a perfect example, I don´t know how you don´t see it that it´s PRECISELY because of the parents that the child turns atheist because parenting strategies sometimes backfire. Sometimes when parents push something too much on their children, it might end up having the exact opposite effect of what they intended, so yeah, it is because of the parents. And it´s just blatantly wrong to say that if the parenting is done right and the child leaves the house and faces hardship they will have issues. They won´t, because they have a safe haven to return to at home, where they get help and advice for any issues they might face outside the home. And to say that parents spend so little time with their kids these days that their influence is only marginal, how do you not see that it´s exactly THAT behaviour that messes up the kids then? Not having a stable home with parents around? No matter how you twist and turn it, ALL issues lead back to parents, we as a society just don´t like to hear it, because it´s a hell of a responsibility to take on, and nobody wants to deal with it.
@@pencilany Are you saying that the schools, culture and society have no effect?
@@johnpepin5373 no, but they´re by far not most important factor and any negative effect they would have can easily be balanced out by a stable family background
@@pencilany So... are you pro family then? Eschewing the "it takes a village" mindset?
This. Pure gold. 🙏🏻❤️🧘♀️ This takes a lot of people a long time to figure out and sometimes those people are just a projection of your own issues 😂 😳
That friggin “saboteur”!! 😖
How in the world you can break or change something in your mind which was cooking there and hardened for decades in just 7 days? Does anyone even believes that all those people really could came out totally freed of their traumas?
Is there true unconditioned love? rarest extremes may be?
Yep, it’s everyone’s fault: parents, siblings, society,; and none of my own! I feel better already!
Is there any evidence that the behavior patterns of parents actually cause in a predictable way the personality problems of children? I'm looking for something from large, controlled studies that investigate, for example, whether two unrelated adopted kids are more likely to develop similar personality problems through growing up in the same household. (Obviously, the study must screen out all influence of heredity so as isolate the effects of parental behavior alone.)
If only it were that simple