Indeed. I may not have any kids yet (couple of steps I need to get to before that), but I envision myself reaching under my child's bed, pulling out the monster that resides there, and slapping it across the face a couple of times, or possibly opening the closet door to give the Bogeyman a good shaking.
@@ericthompson3982 I do have plenty of cardboard boxes, though not many paper bags. Also, please forgive my ignorance, but I'm wondering how the two can be used for sound effects, aside from blowing up and popping a paper bag.
@@ericthompson3982 OK, though likely not at this late hour. I'd also like to add that I occasionally write and tell ghost stories for children, yet they seem to find them more enjoyable than frightening.
I live in Bali Indonesia, where there are not many black people, most tourists here are white or Chinese. I was at a restaurant with my 4 year old son and two black dudes were sitting close to us, one with short hair and the other with short dreadlocks. My son is staring at them so hard and they take it kindly and try to be friendly and talk to him, but he's shy. We get our takeaway and say goodbye to the guys, and as we're getting on our motorbike, my son says "dad, it was black panther and Killmonger! They were there dad!"
Then everyone clapped and gave you a high five......r/thatHappened. Replace Bali with Pennsylvania. You write like a 25+ year old white American living within 10 miles from there parents house somewhere on the east coast.
I feel like these types of comedians are the funniest because they tell legit stories like your friend would at a pub, so they feel the realest and it's fun.
Yeah similar thing happened to me. I had to be 7 and caught some scenes of the early Terminator movie. Panicked, my mom immediately changed the channel to Nickelodeon. Several hours later I'm crying to my mom about a nightmare I had. Was is it the killer robots? No, it was a dried up Spongebob screaming in my face, "I NEED IT!!"
Shout out to Patton Oswalt. My pastor in his sermon Sunday praised Oswalts actions for what Oswalt did on Twitter recently. I was surprised. Although I dont agree with his atheism or political stance I found him to be a funny guy. His stance on religion and politics dont jade me from finding him funny. My pastor was doing a sermon on loving those who dont love us. That's when he started talking about Oswalt. He told the story of a guy who trashed Oswalt on Twitter but then when Oswalt looked into the guys history to go back at him Oswalt saw that the guy had serious health issues....and was taken back. Oswalt started a go fund me page for the guy and donated a couple thousand bucks...and Oswalts fans contributed to. My pastor used Patton Oswalt as an example of doing for others, even those that dont like us. Even though Oswalt isnt a Christian my pastor said that what Oswalt did should be an example for all of us. Well done Patton Oswalt
There is an old Chassidic story and lesson taught in the same vein. I would like to preface this by saying I am not religious and am a very moderate, no bullshit kind of guy, but I have no disresepct for people's beliefs, even if I believe them misguided. But this story always gets to me: A Chassidic Master is teaching his students that God created everything for a reason, and that everything is to be appreciated, because everything teaches us a lesson in life. One smart ass student pops off with the question "Why would God create athiests then?" The Master smiles and responds in earnest "God created atheists to teach us the most important lesson of all. The lesson of true compassion." The students are stunned for a moment, and he continues, "You see, when an atheist performs an act of charity, visits his friends who are sick and dying, helps someone in need, or cares for the world, he is not doing so because of some religious teaching. He does not believe that God commanded him to be good to the world, because he does not believe in God, so the atheist is kind merely out of a sense of inner ethical morality. Look at the kindness he can bestow upon others for no other reason than he knows it to be the right thing to do." The students sit and process this for a moment and then the Master says "This means, my dear students, that when someone reaches out to you for help, you should not say 'I will pray for God to help guide you' or to say that 'It is all in God's plan.' No. In that moment, be as the atheist is. Imagine for a moment that there is no God to help them, and instead simply say 'I will be the one help you.'" Hope you have a great day.
@@kyleguajardo I wont go further on why we need GOD or make it a theological debate but people can do for others outside of faith in GOD. Oswalts actions and others actions show that. For 50+ years I didnt see the need for GOD. I wasnt an atheist, I did believe but 2 yrs ago that went from just belief to faith. Things were good...paid off house, new car...good relationships. I didnt have a substance abuse problem...there wasnt a death...didnt run to GOD. What I had in my life was pretty good...but now it's better. That's all I will say about that and frankly, I didnt mean to even mention any of that but that's how great it is. Sorry to throw that at you. I really appreciate Oswalt for what he did. Have a great day. I appreciate your response . GOD bless
When my kid was 2 I told her the 3 little pigs story. Jeeeezus christ. For three weeks I had to convince a hysterical child that a wolf wasn't coming to blow our house down. She didn't believe me until I managed to convince her that our dog would attack any wolf that tried. Though, my relief was palpable the day we walked past a little person in the mall, who was on the phone. I saw her. I saw my daughter ( around 5 at this time) see her. I tried to quick walk us on by, hoping my daughter just thought she was another kid. No such luck. BUT, as I watched the gears working as she tried to understand seeing an obvious adult who was her size, she turned to me and said " Look, mommy it's a...it's a..little HUMAN". So while announcing this to the entire mall wasn't great, she announced it in the least offensive way possible. We had a discussion about how seeing someone different didn't require an announcement and if she had questions or comments about someone, she could ask me later in private so as not to embarrass someone.
Similar experience: when my son was young he had a speech development issue, so he was in speech at school. There were also a few English language learners whose first language was Spanish. My son could understand their broken English, so he believed he could speak Spanish. We frequented a Mexican restaurant and one night he decided to "speak Spanish" to the staff. Every time someone would pass our table, he would loudly yell gibberish at them, declaring it was Spanish. I WANTED TO DIE!!!😳😳😳
This is a fear of mine as I have a 6yr old that loves various things from Japan (like Godzilla) and he has Japanese kids in his class due to a Japanese owned corporation near our house. At home he will just make up words and say it is Japanese and I try to educate him on why that isn't something you should do but I definitely fear the day when he just tries to "speak Japanese" to these kids.... We have done some simple learn Japanese tutorials but I am not sure if that helps or hurts the situation.
@@shannonwhitmore2170 - I've been in Los Feliz 32 years and remember what it used to be like. Interesting that people think it's wonderful now. They don't even know how great it used to be. Yeah it was sketchier, but it was also a hell of a lot more quiet and interesting. I miss the drag queens.
I've been hearing this bit on Sirius/XMs Comedy Central channel for a while now. I saw last night that "Apocalypse Now REDUX" was available so I sat and watched it. Now I understand what the meaning of "'Charlie doesn't surf".
My adoptive parents took me to Alabama as a kid, in a restaurant we were playing a game of guess the country by it's shape. I thought I knew the country. No one had told me how to pronounce Niger. (I was wrong on the country too) (Interestingly, I had no knowledge of the word I had said either.....I learned two things that day) The answer was Austria.
The mnemonic I taught my kids is Knee Chair. For the country in Africa. Not for Alabama, though we lived there when both my kids were born. I swear this all made perfect sense in my head before I started typing.
I forget how old I was, but I'd recently gone to a museum and bought one of those monkeys with the long arms and velcro on their hands. I loved that thing and for the next week or so, I took it everywhere. Mom and I were at a restaurant and I started playing with my monkey toy, which was fine until I apparently started saying things like "Mr. Monkey jumps so high." and "Mr. Monkey looks silly." Unbeknownst to little me, an African American family had sat down at the table behind me. Mom noticed and saw they seemed upset, so she tried to get me to be quiet, but I didn't easily take a hint and asked why I couldn't talk about Mr. Monkey. I probably said it in an obliviously loud, child way too. After a couple minutes, the father got up, probably to go tell my mom off, and as he approached the table he saw I had a toy the whole time. He gave a sigh of relief and sat back down. I was still completely oblivious and Mom explained it to me when we got to the car.
I did that in 6th grade. We were looking at the globe and made it to Africa and we were looking at the countries. I pronounced Niger the wrong way and just go corrected. I am not sure if I was even aware of the n-word at the time.
When I was a kid, I was in the living room while Dad was flipping through channels. I look up at one point and see what I think is slapstick, of people getting sprayed with water for a gag, so not knowing any better I laughed. Well as my dad explained to me, it was in fact a scene from the civil rights marches, and they were being sprayed by high-powered hoses. He explained to me that they were being hurt, and I felt really bad that I'd laughed, because I've always been very empathic, but of course TV is more difficult especially when you don't know the context. It led me to a life-long quest to try to understand why people would hurt each other like that. Anyway, it might explain why I'm not as fond of slapstick now.
The same thing happened to me! My son was maybe 2 or 3 and we were walking down Broadway street in Seattle. We passed by an old black homeless guy sitting on the ground, all of a sudden my son says “look a monkey! Ooh ooh ooh (mimicking a monkey sound)”. I picked him up and ran down the street till we were a block or two away. Luckily I don’t think anyone was around to witness the most embarrassing moment of my life up to that point. Hopefully the guy didn’t see that either, he was kinda staring off into the distance so I think crisis was averted. I sat with my son and tried to explain to him what was wrong, but he was only 2 maybe so it kinda went over his head and he had forgotten it already. That was like 14 years ago, still haven’t told him the story.
This reminds me of how my uncle/grandparents would let me watch movies like Child’s Play & Flowers in the Attic when I was 6 and I never batted an eye, but I watched Coraline ONCE when I was 9 and I had nightmares & panic attacks every night for a week 😂
In keeping with things on TV that can traumatize a child, when I was a kid in the early 80s, I would often get up early and watch TV. Usually it was Disney cartoons or "Just You and Me Kid", but sometime I would come across older shows like "Leave it to Beaver" or "Lassie". On one particular morning, my mom was making breakfast and all of a sudden she hears wimpering and comes out to the family room to find me sobbing into a teddy bear while watching Lassie where the plot of this episode involved a forest fire and Lassie helping to rescue someone. I was 3 or 4 at the time and the scenes of the fire roaring as trees were falling was too much for me as I thought Lassie was in danger (I was a dog lover even then). Thankfully I calmed down once I realized Lassie was safe at the end of the episode, but after that, my mom was like "Ok honey no more Lassie for a little bit." To this day I still can't stand to watch scenes in TV or movies where animals (particularly dogs) are in danger. Homeward Bound...Nope! Old Yeller...Hell no! The scene in Jaws where the dog is eaten off camera...gotta change the channel or fast forward whenever that's on.
The nightmare fuel in kids' media is almost always more memorable, and I think it's because a lot of the time in kids' media the nightmare fuel is unexpected/presented at times that should be non-scary, because the creators don't realize that to a little kid, it seems creepy. When the nightmare fuel happens at a dramatic/"scary" time in the movie, you're kind of expecting it then, and you're more prepared.
As soon as he said she pointed at an old bald black man with a white beard and said "monkey" I knew it was the one from The Lion King she was talking about.
You jest, but my fam and I actually had to LEAVE THE THEATER during Finding Nemo because my little bro (3 at the time) was terrified of the diver that caught Nemo.
I did the same “monkey” thing with my father in an elevator at about 2 yo. The solution is for more diverse friends/ acquaintances in our family circles
Agreed I did the same at a gas station before the age of 5. Worse part is we are all monkeys and the kids are definitely right to assume we're primates. Weird how a lot of us don't learn we're primates first, it's like we're raised to think we're human aliens on planet earth
@@danielsayre3385Probably because we've got an immensely old, wealthy and powerful institution that exists all over the globe going around telling everyone we were made out of dirt and ribs by a magic man in the sky.
When my son was potty training I didn't realize he was woke one night while I watched Stephen King's Dreamcatcher. He watched in terror as the alien ripped it's way out this guy's butt into the toilet and then tried to escape. Kid didn't close the bathroom door fully until he was ten. He hates me to share this story lol so nobody tell him I blabbed
I don’t know wtf my dad was thinking when I was a kid. I guess he assumed that since I was so little I wouldn’t remember any of it. I was 4 years old the first time I saw Alien, and I was ok with that apparently. But the movie we watched that really fucked me up to this day is ‘The Fly’ and ‘The Fly 2’. Gave me trust issues, paranoia and crazy nightmares for life.
My mom tells the story that once, 2-3 year old me saw a car crash on tv, and became so terrifyingly convinced that my dad was going to get into one on the way home from work. I ran to him tearfully when he got home. I think that was when mom and dad started regulating what was on tv when I was around lol.
At the age of 3 my favorite toy was a life-sized stuffed toy of the Dilophosaurus from the movie Jurassic park. That's the dinosaur who killed the fat guy. The toy was snarling and had blood dripping from its teeth but I took it around everywhere with me. What did give me screaming nightmares?! Bert and Ernie from Sesame street! Their eyebrows were absolutely terrifying to me
This is a perfect example of why I love Patton Oswalt so much. If you have no clue about cultural references, none of his act will make any sense to you. It's comedy that requires the listener to actually think and be aware of the world around us.
Makes sense. The kid only saw a brief flash of the other character, and it wasn't really time for her to get scared or identify it with something to be afraid of before it went away. Most of what's scary about horror movies is the buildup, the music, the starting scene where it jumps out at you. If you just look at the actual monster without any context, it's not usually that scary. If you hung a picture of the wolfman over her bed where she could look at it and start to imagine things, it would probably get scary, but only after a period of time. Sort of like how the skeleton didn't get scary to her until she was alone in her room thinking about it later. She didn't think about the wolf because it was just an instant thing that didn't really stick in her mind. I'm surprised she remembered it later (assuming this isn't a story "creatively modified" for the stage). On the other hand, I've known at least one set of parents who liked to watch gruesome horror movies and let their 6 year old son watch them too. Sex, drugs, murder, whatever. There is a good chance he turned out pretty badly, but how much of that's from the movies he was watching from the time he was a little boy and how how much from the simple fact that he had parents so bad as that (this was not the worst of their problems), it's hard to say. His mother died a few years after this in a car accident, and the dad wandered off and spent himself on drugs, and the kid was sent to live with his uncle, who was slightly better, but still not great. Last I saw him he was 14 and his uncle wanted me to talk to him and tell him he needed to shape up and behave himself in school, or he'd regret it. He thought maybe he'd listen to me, since apparently I made a big impression on him by being a friend and (I hope) better role model in the time I knew him. But I didn't even know what to say, I didn't even know the kid any more, hadn't seen him for years. Basically all I could say is 'your uncle is right, you'll really regret it if you get yourself kicked out of school, it's not worth it". If he didn't listen to his uncle, why would he listen to me? I still feel guilty, like somehow I should have done something else, or had him taken out of that home when he was still younger. But that can cause even worse trauma.
We took our kids to a midnight showing of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull opening night, which, I suppose, was a mistake by itself. Anyway, what ends up happening is Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay starts playing instead...
An old friend of mine bought a copy of "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" for his sister when he was living in China. They had DVDs of everything out there at that time. Unfortunately it wasn't the kids version he purchased and his sister is probably now turning tricks out on the streets of Adelaide.
The first story is an example of an ultimately healthy but very unconventional way some people naturally respond to trauma. I'm glad he's paying attention. I hope he's followed up with some research and counsel regarding that behavior, as well.
I'm actually surprised someone hasn't already taken the audio from his recently posted bit about rats and synchronized it to footage from the film. The world deserves to see Ratton ranting about rats like some kind of rat race traitor.
@@WillOfMyD No. There's definitely movie ratings, there's less racial stereotypes, and there's little to no segregation in most places. I'm not saying everything's great, but it's not what it used to be
@@sylph8005 Where do you live? I am in New York City and our public schools are nearly completely segregated. The Department of Education tried to integrate a middle school and the white parents shut it down.
I remember being terrified of the Gremlins show as a kid, but since i was the youngest (sister is 7 years older, brother was 9 years older) i didnt want to admit it scared me cause they would laugh at me. It was on during Sunday lunchtime. I hated it. But i watched the un-edited version of Scream and had no issue.
The ewoks gave me nightmares as a 5-6yr old. (the ROTJ 'real' ones not the cartoon, although I avoided that too after seeing the film) and I knew a kid who was traumatised by E.T. and wouldn't watch it even in her 20s. We both loved scarier stuff, though. Also I remember my dad being shocked that we weren't scared of The Mask movie, because he thought it should have been rated higher than a PG because it would've freaked him out at the same age (~12). But that might be more about the technological advances than anything else I guess you never really know how somethings gonna hit you/your subconscious
Oh God!! I still flinch when I remember that I told a little girl about the sand man. That he will sprinkle magic sand in your eyes and give you sweet dreams. I traumatized this kid!! I had to hold her all night. She had her hands locked over her eyes. I gave up on telling my grandma’s bedtime stories after that 😓
My friend's young son was into construction vehicles at the time. They were walking by an active construction site and he starts pointing and yelling, 'Daddy! Daddy! A DIGGER! A DIGGER!" My friend had to awkwardly respond, "Why, yes! That is a digging machine!"
I had my own Racist Baby moment when I was a kid. That's what happens when you're raised in a racist culture. My dad didn't handle it well, either. I'd like to think I'd do better, but I'd probably panic, too.
My 5 year old niece loves skeletons, witches and scary looking stuff. Maybe because i showed her "This is Halloween" when she is 2,5. Still one of her favourite songs to this day. And yes I am the best uncle. No problems, no nightmares, there, but she had nightmares because her parents bought her a colouring book with pirates and did poor job of explaining what pirates are. She wakes up screaming because the pirates will cut off her hands. Because all the pirates in the colouring book have hook instead of hands. On every page. So yeah, you never know where the trauma will come from.
Dude is a really good dad. You can hear how much he loves his kid in the details of his statements. That's awesome.
"The heroine takes care of the werewolf nightmares." Hahahaha! This guy is hilarious.
As a man who has fought his fair share of monsters in his young son's bedroom, I totally felt this.
Indeed. I may not have any kids yet (couple of steps I need to get to before that), but I envision myself reaching under my child's bed, pulling out the monster that resides there, and slapping it across the face a couple of times, or possibly opening the closet door to give the Bogeyman a good shaking.
@@Stussmeister Get yourself a paper bag and a cardboard box. They make for excellent sound effects.
@@ericthompson3982 I do have plenty of cardboard boxes, though not many paper bags. Also, please forgive my ignorance, but I'm wondering how the two can be used for sound effects, aside from blowing up and popping a paper bag.
@@Stussmeister Just use your imagination. I have confidence you'll figure it all out.
@@ericthompson3982 OK, though likely not at this late hour. I'd also like to add that I occasionally write and tell ghost stories for children, yet they seem to find them more enjoyable than frightening.
I live in Bali Indonesia, where there are not many black people, most tourists here are white or Chinese. I was at a restaurant with my 4 year old son and two black dudes were sitting close to us, one with short hair and the other with short dreadlocks. My son is staring at them so hard and they take it kindly and try to be friendly and talk to him, but he's shy. We get our takeaway and say goodbye to the guys, and as we're getting on our motorbike, my son says "dad, it was black panther and Killmonger! They were there dad!"
So cute!
That's so adorable
That is adorable.
My HEART JUST MELTED TO THE FLOOR
Then everyone clapped and gave you a high five......r/thatHappened. Replace Bali with Pennsylvania. You write like a 25+ year old white American living within 10 miles from there parents house somewhere on the east coast.
She watches Reservoir Dogs and is just like, "Their names are colors, daddy!!!"
"The dancing man took his ear away."
@@DriscolDevil He no hear good anymore, daddy! Lol
@@DriscolDevil REKT
*Watches Shawshank Redemtion
"That was a lot of poop daddy!"
Watches dora "She's enslaved the poor monkey!!"
I feel like these types of comedians are the funniest because they tell legit stories like your friend would at a pub, so they feel the realest and it's fun.
Yeah similar thing happened to me. I had to be 7 and caught some scenes of the early Terminator movie. Panicked, my mom immediately changed the channel to Nickelodeon. Several hours later I'm crying to my mom about a nightmare I had. Was is it the killer robots? No, it was a dried up Spongebob screaming in my face, "I NEED IT!!"
Bruh I'm fucking dying
SpongeBob is satanic af
@@phoenixzappa7366 ?
XD WATER WATER I NEED IT
Lmao same thing happened to me except the movie I saw was IT and the nightmare I had was courage the cowardly dog
Shout out to Patton Oswalt.
My pastor in his sermon Sunday praised Oswalts actions for what Oswalt did on Twitter recently. I was surprised. Although I dont agree with his atheism or political stance I found him to be a funny guy. His stance on religion and politics dont jade me from finding him funny.
My pastor was doing a sermon on loving those who dont love us. That's when he started talking about Oswalt. He told the story of a guy who trashed Oswalt on Twitter but then when Oswalt looked into the guys history to go back at him Oswalt saw that the guy had serious health issues....and was taken back. Oswalt started a go fund me page for the guy and donated a couple thousand bucks...and Oswalts fans contributed to. My pastor used Patton Oswalt as an example of doing for others, even those that dont like us. Even though Oswalt isnt a Christian my pastor said that what Oswalt did should be an example for all of us.
Well done Patton Oswalt
There is an old Chassidic story and lesson taught in the same vein. I would like to preface this by saying I am not religious and am a very moderate, no bullshit kind of guy, but I have no disresepct for people's beliefs, even if I believe them misguided. But this story always gets to me:
A Chassidic Master is teaching his students that God created everything for a reason, and that everything is to be appreciated, because everything teaches us a lesson in life. One smart ass student pops off with the question "Why would God create athiests then?"
The Master smiles and responds in earnest "God created atheists to teach us the most important lesson of all. The lesson of true compassion." The students are stunned for a moment, and he continues, "You see, when an atheist performs an act of charity, visits his friends who are sick and dying, helps someone in need, or cares for the world, he is not doing so because of some religious teaching. He does not believe that God commanded him to be good to the world, because he does not believe in God, so the atheist is kind merely out of a sense of inner ethical morality. Look at the kindness he can bestow upon others for no other reason than he knows it to be the right thing to do."
The students sit and process this for a moment and then the Master says "This means, my dear students, that when someone reaches out to you for help, you should not say 'I will pray for God to help guide you' or to say that 'It is all in God's plan.' No. In that moment, be as the atheist is. Imagine for a moment that there is no God to help them, and instead simply say 'I will be the one help you.'"
Hope you have a great day.
@@kyleguajardo I wont go further on why we need GOD or make it a theological debate but people can do for others outside of faith in GOD. Oswalts actions and others actions show that. For 50+ years I didnt see the need for GOD. I wasnt an atheist, I did believe but 2 yrs ago that went from just belief to faith. Things were good...paid off house, new car...good relationships. I didnt have a substance abuse problem...there wasnt a death...didnt run to GOD. What I had in my life was pretty good...but now it's better. That's all I will say about that and frankly, I didnt mean to even mention any of that but that's how great it is. Sorry to throw that at you. I really appreciate Oswalt for what he did. Have a great day. I appreciate your response . GOD bless
That's cool.
This is the morality that is killing our civilization
This is what is destroying society. We have sacrificed it for those who hate us
When my kid was 2 I told her the 3 little pigs story. Jeeeezus christ. For three weeks I had to convince a hysterical child that a wolf wasn't coming to blow our house down. She didn't believe me until I managed to convince her that our dog would attack any wolf that tried. Though, my relief was palpable the day we walked past a little person in the mall, who was on the phone. I saw her. I saw my daughter ( around 5 at this time) see her. I tried to quick walk us on by, hoping my daughter just thought she was another kid. No such luck. BUT, as I watched the gears working as she tried to understand seeing an obvious adult who was her size, she turned to me and said " Look, mommy it's a...it's a..little HUMAN". So while announcing this to the entire mall wasn't great, she announced it in the least offensive way possible. We had a discussion about how seeing someone different didn't require an announcement and if she had questions or comments about someone, she could ask me later in private so as not to embarrass someone.
Check out Brad Williams he had a very similar experience though he was on the receiving end.
@@V2011F "Don't look honey, he's special"
Similar experience: when my son was young he had a speech development issue, so he was in speech at school. There were also a few English language learners whose first language was Spanish. My son could understand their broken English, so he believed he could speak Spanish. We frequented a Mexican restaurant and one night he decided to "speak Spanish" to the staff. Every time someone would pass our table, he would loudly yell gibberish at them, declaring it was Spanish. I WANTED TO DIE!!!😳😳😳
😂
This is a fear of mine as I have a 6yr old that loves various things from Japan (like Godzilla) and he has Japanese kids in his class due to a Japanese owned corporation near our house. At home he will just make up words and say it is Japanese and I try to educate him on why that isn't something you should do but I definitely fear the day when he just tries to "speak Japanese" to these kids.... We have done some simple learn Japanese tutorials but I am not sure if that helps or hurts the situation.
ReivecS Tell him if he tries to speak Japanese to his classmates who are ACTUALLY Japanese that it’s racist and you’ll whoop his ass.
ReivecS Ignore Randal.
Hilarious!
His take on Los Feliz is right on. I live there and have been to that Starbucks
I lived there the majority of my life. I remember before it got like that. Definitely spot on!
@@shannonwhitmore2170 - I've been in Los Feliz 32 years and remember what it used to be like. Interesting that people think it's wonderful now. They don't even know how great it used to be. Yeah it was sketchier, but it was also a hell of a lot more quiet and interesting. I miss the drag queens.
i’ll never be able to watch Apocalypse Now without laughing my ass off picturing him saying Charlie doesn’t surf in a goofy voice 😂
I've been hearing this bit on Sirius/XMs Comedy Central channel for a while now. I saw last night that "Apocalypse Now REDUX" was available so I sat and watched it. Now I understand what the meaning of "'Charlie doesn't surf".
“The heroin takes care of the wear wolf nightmares daddy.”
I died.
My adoptive parents took me to Alabama as a kid, in a restaurant we were playing a game of guess the country by it's shape. I thought I knew the country. No one had told me how to pronounce Niger. (I was wrong on the country too) (Interestingly, I had no knowledge of the word I had said either.....I learned two things that day) The answer was Austria.
The mnemonic I taught my kids is Knee Chair. For the country in Africa. Not for Alabama, though we lived there when both my kids were born. I swear this all made perfect sense in my head before I started typing.
I forget how old I was, but I'd recently gone to a museum and bought one of those monkeys with the long arms and velcro on their hands. I loved that thing and for the next week or so, I took it everywhere. Mom and I were at a restaurant and I started playing with my monkey toy, which was fine until I apparently started saying things like "Mr. Monkey jumps so high." and "Mr. Monkey looks silly." Unbeknownst to little me, an African American family had sat down at the table behind me. Mom noticed and saw they seemed upset, so she tried to get me to be quiet, but I didn't easily take a hint and asked why I couldn't talk about Mr. Monkey. I probably said it in an obliviously loud, child way too. After a couple minutes, the father got up, probably to go tell my mom off, and as he approached the table he saw I had a toy the whole time. He gave a sigh of relief and sat back down. I was still completely oblivious and Mom explained it to me when we got to the car.
😂
I did that in 6th grade. We were looking at the globe and made it to Africa and we were looking at the countries. I pronounced Niger the wrong way and just go corrected. I am not sure if I was even aware of the n-word at the time.
When I was a kid, I was in the living room while Dad was flipping through channels. I look up at one point and see what I think is slapstick, of people getting sprayed with water for a gag, so not knowing any better I laughed. Well as my dad explained to me, it was in fact a scene from the civil rights marches, and they were being sprayed by high-powered hoses. He explained to me that they were being hurt, and I felt really bad that I'd laughed, because I've always been very empathic, but of course TV is more difficult especially when you don't know the context. It led me to a life-long quest to try to understand why people would hurt each other like that.
Anyway, it might explain why I'm not as fond of slapstick now.
Oh, well here, lemme help you out. People suck. That's why.
That's the reason I don't like America's Funniest Home Videos. Way too many of them are people actually getting hurt, and that bothers me.
I would have laughed harder
That W.E.B Dubois line was fire lol
"How 'bout that W.E.B. DuBois, huh?" 😂😂😂
How about facts. Such bullshit.
@@skootempaw694 is there something wrong with you?
The line would have worked better if he hadn't messed up on how to say it.
Mr. DuBois pronounced his name "DuBoyz", not "DuBwah".
The joke works if you say the name correctly, and works better if you don't
The same thing happened to me! My son was maybe 2 or 3 and we were walking down Broadway street in Seattle. We passed by an old black homeless guy sitting on the ground, all of a sudden my son says “look a monkey! Ooh ooh ooh (mimicking a monkey sound)”. I picked him up and ran down the street till we were a block or two away. Luckily I don’t think anyone was around to witness the most embarrassing moment of my life up to that point. Hopefully the guy didn’t see that either, he was kinda staring off into the distance so I think crisis was averted. I sat with my son and tried to explain to him what was wrong, but he was only 2 maybe so it kinda went over his head and he had forgotten it already. That was like 14 years ago, still haven’t told him the story.
This reminds me of how my uncle/grandparents would let me watch movies like Child’s Play & Flowers in the Attic when I was 6 and I never batted an eye, but I watched Coraline ONCE when I was 9 and I had nightmares & panic attacks every night for a week 😂
I really needed this today. You're awesome, Mr. Oswalt. 💜
In keeping with things on TV that can traumatize a child, when I was a kid in the early 80s, I would often get up early and watch TV. Usually it was Disney cartoons or "Just You and Me Kid", but sometime I would come across older shows like "Leave it to Beaver" or "Lassie". On one particular morning, my mom was making breakfast and all of a sudden she hears wimpering and comes out to the family room to find me sobbing into a teddy bear while watching Lassie where the plot of this episode involved a forest fire and Lassie helping to rescue someone. I was 3 or 4 at the time and the scenes of the fire roaring as trees were falling was too much for me as I thought Lassie was in danger (I was a dog lover even then). Thankfully I calmed down once I realized Lassie was safe at the end of the episode, but after that, my mom was like "Ok honey no more Lassie for a little bit." To this day I still can't stand to watch scenes in TV or movies where animals (particularly dogs) are in danger. Homeward Bound...Nope! Old Yeller...Hell no! The scene in Jaws where the dog is eaten off camera...gotta change the channel or fast forward whenever that's on.
Patton Oswalt is one of the best entertainers of all Time!
Although it sounds like he need more black friends lol
- I think a lot more ppl need to #IntegrateTheirFriends: Drew Brees, Donald T....Minneapolis Police Department.
AI I am sure the person was commenting in jest
The nightmare fuel in kids' media is almost always more memorable, and I think it's because a lot of the time in kids' media the nightmare fuel is unexpected/presented at times that should be non-scary, because the creators don't realize that to a little kid, it seems creepy. When the nightmare fuel happens at a dramatic/"scary" time in the movie, you're kind of expecting it then, and you're more prepared.
As soon as he said she pointed at an old bald black man with a white beard and said "monkey" I knew it was the one from The Lion King she was talking about.
🤣🤣🤣
Kids are such a trip sometimes 😅 thanks for the laughs Pat, great set you got here. Everyone could use a good belly laugh these days!
You jest, but my fam and I actually had to LEAVE THE THEATER during Finding Nemo because my little bro (3 at the time) was terrified of the diver that caught Nemo.
Completely reasonable response
Watches human centipede
“Daddy that doctor talked funny!”
Backyard Music Feedback Don’t even...
I did the same “monkey” thing with my father in an elevator at about 2 yo. The solution is for more diverse friends/ acquaintances in our family circles
Agreed I did the same at a gas station before the age of 5.
Worse part is we are all monkeys and the kids are definitely right to assume we're primates. Weird how a lot of us don't learn we're primates first, it's like we're raised to think we're human aliens on planet earth
@@danielsayre3385Probably because we've got an immensely old, wealthy and powerful institution that exists all over the globe going around telling everyone we were made out of dirt and ribs by a magic man in the sky.
My niece once pointed right at a bald white guy with a really long nose and said, "It's Gru!"
Naturally, my brother felt horrible.
When my son was potty training I didn't realize he was woke one night while I watched Stephen King's Dreamcatcher. He watched in terror as the alien ripped it's way out this guy's butt into the toilet and then tried to escape. Kid didn't close the bathroom door fully until he was ten. He hates me to share this story lol so nobody tell him I blabbed
I don’t know wtf my dad was thinking when I was a kid. I guess he assumed that since I was so little I wouldn’t remember any of it. I was 4 years old the first time I saw Alien, and I was ok with that apparently. But the movie we watched that really fucked me up to this day is ‘The Fly’ and ‘The Fly 2’. Gave me trust issues, paranoia and crazy nightmares for life.
My mom tells the story that once, 2-3 year old me saw a car crash on tv, and became so terrifyingly convinced that my dad was going to get into one on the way home from work. I ran to him tearfully when he got home. I think that was when mom and dad started regulating what was on tv when I was around lol.
At the age of 3 my favorite toy was a life-sized stuffed toy of the Dilophosaurus from the movie Jurassic park. That's the dinosaur who killed the fat guy. The toy was snarling and had blood dripping from its teeth but I took it around everywhere with me. What did give me screaming nightmares?! Bert and Ernie from Sesame street! Their eyebrows were absolutely terrifying to me
" I want all the ham "
This is a perfect example of why I love Patton Oswalt so much. If you have no clue about cultural references, none of his act will make any sense to you. It's comedy that requires the listener to actually think and be aware of the world around us.
Love the fact he can make fun of himself of how he screwed up.
Makes sense. The kid only saw a brief flash of the other character, and it wasn't really time for her to get scared or identify it with something to be afraid of before it went away. Most of what's scary about horror movies is the buildup, the music, the starting scene where it jumps out at you. If you just look at the actual monster without any context, it's not usually that scary. If you hung a picture of the wolfman over her bed where she could look at it and start to imagine things, it would probably get scary, but only after a period of time. Sort of like how the skeleton didn't get scary to her until she was alone in her room thinking about it later. She didn't think about the wolf because it was just an instant thing that didn't really stick in her mind. I'm surprised she remembered it later (assuming this isn't a story "creatively modified" for the stage).
On the other hand, I've known at least one set of parents who liked to watch gruesome horror movies and let their 6 year old son watch them too. Sex, drugs, murder, whatever. There is a good chance he turned out pretty badly, but how much of that's from the movies he was watching from the time he was a little boy and how how much from the simple fact that he had parents so bad as that (this was not the worst of their problems), it's hard to say. His mother died a few years after this in a car accident, and the dad wandered off and spent himself on drugs, and the kid was sent to live with his uncle, who was slightly better, but still not great. Last I saw him he was 14 and his uncle wanted me to talk to him and tell him he needed to shape up and behave himself in school, or he'd regret it. He thought maybe he'd listen to me, since apparently I made a big impression on him by being a friend and (I hope) better role model in the time I knew him. But I didn't even know what to say, I didn't even know the kid any more, hadn't seen him for years. Basically all I could say is 'your uncle is right, you'll really regret it if you get yourself kicked out of school, it's not worth it". If he didn't listen to his uncle, why would he listen to me? I still feel guilty, like somehow I should have done something else, or had him taken out of that home when he was still younger. But that can cause even worse trauma.
Well, sometimes you just have to take your kid and run away 😂😂
We took our kids to a midnight showing of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull opening night, which, I suppose, was a mistake by itself.
Anyway, what ends up happening is Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay starts playing instead...
An old friend of mine bought a copy of "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" for his sister when he was living in China. They had DVDs of everything out there at that time. Unfortunately it wasn't the kids version he purchased and his sister is probably now turning tricks out on the streets of Adelaide.
"Charlie don't surf daddy"
"Jesus Christ have you been listening to The Clash or ride of the valkyries?"
The first story is an example of an ultimately healthy but very unconventional way some people naturally respond to trauma. I'm glad he's paying attention. I hope he's followed up with some research and counsel regarding that behavior, as well.
One of the funniest men alive
1 off the best comedians in the world
“The heroin helps with the werewolf flashbacks”
This is definitely how toddlers are. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I love that his kid's voice is the same as Ezekiel from ATHF.
I just hear _Ratatouille_
Justin James It’s like those Rice Krispies ads from the 90s. “But what are they saying?”
I'm actually surprised someone hasn't already taken the audio from his recently posted bit about rats and synchronized it to footage from the film. The world deserves to see Ratton ranting about rats like some kind of rat race traitor.
I just hear Minecraft: Story Mode.
I hear Jesse.
@@eddiethefriendlytenderengine That's what I meant there.
His background reminds me of Chucky being rebuilt in the opening credits of Child's Play 2.
Straight up thought I was the only lunatic that noticed!
Mrs Potato Head is having a breach birth hahaha
I feel he is probably the best nerdiest dad ever!
Pure comedy 😂
dude I was literally like that as a kid- I hated Disney and loved Saw😂
But were you scared of Disney and danced laughing at Saw?
lmaooo
Try growing up in the 50s. No movie ratings. Bizarre racial stereotypes in movies. Segregation in some places.
So basically today.
@@WillOfMyD Except now Movie Ratings.
@@katiearbuckle9017 True.
@@WillOfMyD No. There's definitely movie ratings, there's less racial stereotypes, and there's little to no segregation in most places. I'm not saying everything's great, but it's not what it used to be
@@sylph8005 Where do you live? I am in New York City and our public schools are nearly completely segregated. The Department of Education tried to integrate a middle school and the white parents shut it down.
This is one of my favorite jokes ever
I remember being terrified of the Gremlins show as a kid, but since i was the youngest (sister is 7 years older, brother was 9 years older) i didnt want to admit it scared me cause they would laugh at me. It was on during Sunday lunchtime. I hated it. But i watched the un-edited version of Scream and had no issue.
You know what else blindsides him? A roomba
I love Patton!
I love Payton oswalt
I have to FIX the werewolf. XDXDXD I got that. xD
That doggie was wearing a shirt 😀😀😀
No one wants to remember that Wolfman remake
He was ahead of his time when he suggested Disney start putting warning labels on their classics
Bad idea, bro. The puppy scene in Apocalypse Now is brutal
Great stuff.
The ewoks gave me nightmares as a 5-6yr old. (the ROTJ 'real' ones not the cartoon, although I avoided that too after seeing the film) and I knew a kid who was traumatised by E.T. and wouldn't watch it even in her 20s. We both loved scarier stuff, though. Also I remember my dad being shocked that we weren't scared of The Mask movie, because he thought it should have been rated higher than a PG because it would've freaked him out at the same age (~12). But that might be more about the technological advances than anything else
I guess you never really know how somethings gonna hit you/your subconscious
I used to have recurring dreams about that Halloween Simpsons episode where their skin falls off and their skeletons dance around
This made my day
Your daughter may want to become a doctor. No lie. Encourage her dreams.
Oh God!! I still flinch when I remember that I told a little girl about the sand man. That he will sprinkle magic sand in your eyes and give you sweet dreams. I traumatized this kid!! I had to hold her all night. She had her hands locked over her eyes. I gave up on telling my grandma’s bedtime stories after that 😓
One of the greatest ever
Absolutely not
Eat my dangling diner
This guy is funny. This is great stand up comedy. I don't understand the Trump supporters hating; but then again, nobody ever does..
Should have never watched ATHF, because now all I hear is Ezekiel (AKA baby Master Shake; AKA Jesus Ezekiel Jesus) when he impersonates his daughter.
IM DA SHERIFF
Dude, his dad owns a dealership!
@@mribm4000 Next door, jackass. [slams door]
My friend's young son was into construction vehicles at the time. They were walking by an active construction site and he starts pointing and yelling, 'Daddy! Daddy! A DIGGER! A DIGGER!" My friend had to awkwardly respond, "Why, yes! That is a digging machine!"
Ms Potato Head is having a breach birth. 🤣😂🤣🤣😂😂
"I wanna watch movies on your pooter." :)
😂😂😂
I was with my niece and asked her what was her favorite animal, she said "Jaws" hes a shark who eats people!
Lol ok. You do you kid.
That "School House Rock" video also freaked me out as a kid, but I had a horrible skeleton phobia I didn't get over until I was like eight.
The doggie was wearing a shirt lmao
Love it
I had my own Racist Baby moment when I was a kid. That's what happens when you're raised in a racist culture. My dad didn't handle it well, either. I'd like to think I'd do better, but I'd probably panic, too.
The culture is not racist. It would have been racist if you thought that was an appropriate thing for a kid to do. That’s why the jokes funny..
I bet patton oswalts daughter loves that he tells these stories
I love everything was pretty dope
Twas. It's actually pretty interesting to see how his comedy has changed over the years, especially after his daughter was born.
School house rock is the jam
Nobody:
Absolutely nobody:
Toddlers: brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrttrr. Baringrrrrrrrrrrerrrererrrrrrtrrtrrr
My 13 year old uncles thought it was the funniest thing in the world to show me extremely graphic horror movies to 3 year old me
love this dude
Has anyone played Minecraft story mode? He’s the obvious voice for Jesse. Same with max in secret life of pets 2!!
Both.
bothh
And he also voiced Remy from Ratatouille and Quibble Pants from MLP
I love Doc McStuffins!
Did someone else notice the huge burp at 2:14?
1:00 2:00 10:00
My 5 year old niece loves skeletons, witches and scary looking stuff. Maybe because i showed her "This is Halloween" when she is 2,5. Still one of her favourite songs to this day. And yes I am the best uncle.
No problems, no nightmares, there, but she had nightmares because her parents bought her a colouring book with pirates and did poor job of explaining what pirates are. She wakes up screaming because the pirates will cut off her hands. Because all the pirates in the colouring book have hook instead of hands. On every page.
So yeah, you never know where the trauma will come from.
He’s a good dad
It's funny because I'm just here because he was the voice actor of minecraft story mode lol
The voice he does for his daughter is the same as the voice of Ezekiel from Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Bring spencer back on
King of Queens 👍
There's practically a Starbucks near everyone.
Liked @ 4:17 💀💀☠️☠️🤣🤣
And I died @ 9:48 🤣🤣💀💀☠️☠️
all i here is jesse from minecraft story mode
All I hear is Max from Pets 2
@@LordTylerBluGunderson all i hear is Remy from Ratatouille
I'll bet it's that Starbucks reserve in Los Feliz. I know that place.