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Really bummed about this sponsor because these devices can cause more problems than good. My PFT told me she deals with reversing the damage of over strengthening so much.
STOP TALKING ABOUT BDSM IF YOU HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT PRACTICES AND LIFESTYLE. THEY ARE CLEAR N GIVE CLEAR INFO ON IT. STOP JUDGEMENT ON BDSM IF YOU ARE NOT INTO IT. AS A DOMINANT WOMEN MYSELF, THIS IS A NORMAL D/s RELATIONSHIP. UR NOT INTO BDSM, OFC YOU ARE GONNA CREATE A WHOLE VIDEO QUESTIONING IT. READ AND INFORM YOURSELF BEFORE DOING CONTENT WITH NO BASES. THIS TRULLY IS A CHILD JUDGING A WHOLE LIFESTYLE SHES NOT INTO IT. LET ME REMIND YOU THIS ISN’T ONLY FOR MEN, I DO THIS PRACTICES MYSELF AS A WOMEN. COMPLETELY DISRESPECTFUL
@@Anamarihuana They literally expose their KIDS and neighbors to this. No one is obligated to partake in your BDSM sessions. If people see a husband giving disciplinary and corporal punishment to his wife they will report it, it is just that.
Yea the whole deal with the kids is a wild way to grow up and see women being treated this way 👀😬 this is really odd for the kids to know or what ever!
What kid is gonna respect the authority of a mother who has to sit in the corner or get spanked? This usually puts the kids in a headspace of being 'above' the mother, especially male children.
@@sunnyandthechlo and you'll notice it was one of their sons cussing in front of her. She half heartedly responds that he shouldn't talk like that but there was absolutely no authority in her voice
"Neither of us really enjoy it, but we do it anyway because a book said the other option was divorce" Girl??? Bestie??? Brandy?? Laz?? Someone get these folks a coupon for Couples Therapy
@@Kikiwithamachinegun I don't think they'd continue doing this for so many years if there wasn't some aspect of enjoyment. More likely, they're framing this as a "traditional marriage" to cover up the shame associated with kink. But I guess--worst case scenario--they really believe this is something they're supposed to do because of sincerely held religious beliefs. In which case....😬
@@antlerthymeI agree my grandparents have a very traditional relationship and that “ discipline kink” slipped out as they got older till they didn’t care and I think it’s fucking precious from a now adult perspective when I was a kid it was awkward but now as an adult seeing how they’re still the same and still the cutest old couple(with lots of sexual tension even at 70)ever makes me happy she cleans and cooks and watches the grandkids while he does jack shit but play with them and I don’t think that’s belittling to her as a person and I don’t think that diminishes her value as a woman they’ve lived such a long and happy marriage she holds all the personal and familial relationships she holds dominance in social situations and personal situations she also cares for him completely while they both share a life he built for them they both cannot live without eachother no one can imagine a would where they aren’t together and I think that’s absolutely beautiful JUST BECAUSE you live your life based off traditional gender roles DOES NOT belittle you or ur gender.
For real, that's the difference between a kink/lifestyle/whatever and abuse. There needs to be mutual respect and care, and aftercare is one of the most important things
This 10000000% I even forgot about aftercare in my comment. Idk if they have it beyond what is shown in the video (the little sweet/ snuggly moments) or even if that was just to paint a better picture...
@@justhearmeout3959 A very basic, RUclips friendly explanation: since a Dom/sub relationship is supposed to be enjoyed by both people, there is usually a lot of adrenaline/hormones/feelings happening during "punishment". The submissive person doesn't feel bad during the event, but once the adrenaline/good feelings wears off, they can feel sad/hurt. That is called the "drop". Aftercare would be however the Dominant person makes the other person feel better.
i don't think they enjoy it at all though she says that she doesnt like being spanked 8nor does she like writing the lines) and that he doesnt enjoy spanking either it's more like they found something that took the idea of a 24/7 BDSM relationship but twisted it into what a "traditional relationship" should be
@@Carolina57685exactly, i think they both just think that BDSM always includes pain. It doesn't, they have not realized they can have a bdsm relationship/sex life without adding pain into it. You both dont like spanking? Dont fucking do it! What are they doing? Ofc it leads to subdrop/dom drop ya'll aren't enjoying that aspect of BDSM, ya'll can do other things just get educatedd 😭
Me: Oh, so it's a sex thing. Her: Neither of us like it. Me: So, it's not a sex thing? Post: "...Sub Drop..." Me: So, it _is_ a sex thing! Her: The kids know about it. Me: WHY DO THE KIDS KNOW ABOUT IT!!!!!????
@QueenKunta AFAIK, it's basically describing the come down when the endorphins and adrenaline start to return to normal levels after intense play. Presumably, when these guys do spankings or other impact play.
It is a kink, it's 24/7 D/s domestic. You can have a D/s relationship without it necessarily being strictly sexual. There's also 1950s household. There are quite a few tradwife influencers who play into the fetish angle of it. It would be 100% cool if they just admitted that it was a kink and not a supposedly sincere effort to replicate "traditional, conservative values."
THIS. fr i feel like so many conservatives are just ashamed to admit they have kinks, and start to project all that insecurity and self loathing outwards towards others.
@@lnhp5592 I remember reading a post once from a lapsed Catholic, who, when practising, had really hard-line views on birth control and pregnancy for reasons they couldn't really articulate and put it down to religious conviction. Then they realised that they actually just had a breeding fetish and chilled out.
the fact that y’all think something being a kink suddenly makes it okay is hilarious. “i beat women” “what is wrong with you” “i beat women but get off on it!” “oh okay you’re all good!” just insanity.
I have a request that I haven’t seen enough people look at. Her name is Karissa Collins and she has 11 kids, she’s one of those quiverful people that think god will give them as many children as they want. She exploits her children and has left them in literal DANGER. She left a UTI untreated in her TODDLER that turned septic not once BUT TWICE. She advocated fasting while pregnant, pushes women to have unsafe pregnancies and to keep going when the doctor advises to stop. While her toddler was sick and septic she decided to go TO LUNCH WITH FAMILY before deciding to go to the doctors. She has almost killed her dog before she even had kids. She left wet food in the bowl for TWO WEEKS while she left on vacation, came back and put more wet food on top of the rotting molding maggot filled food. The dog got very sick so she decided it would be best to try and feed it treats and take them on a walk AND NEVER WENT TO THE VET. She has ignored serval concerning symptoms of illness in her children and blames them SINNING on being sick. This is just the TIP of the iceberg. Please do a video on this, she cannot keep getting away with being abusive and neglecting her children. Her 13 year old cannot spell eyes, your, and mommy, and cannot read a children’s book! And she’s homeschooling them!!!
They got the daughter's opinion (which was understandably 'hell no') but were real quick not to interview the boys. What are THEY learning about gendered dynamics and what to 'expect' from any women they may be with in future?
This is 100% a kink. Punishment in a D/s dynamic isn’t always supposed to be pleasurable. It’s a form of behavior correction within the dynamic. Consent is the key factor in whether or not it’s abuse, and things should be frequently revisited to make sure everyone is still on board. The one thing I’d say is that it’s NOT okay for their kids to know what’s going on with them. That is where the abuse is.
so women can consent to being abused? oh its fine because she consented right? yall ever heard of manipulation and coercion? or yall just wrapped up into "kinks" that allow men to be controlling and abusive?
@@Vampishpeach The mantra of the kink community is “safe, sane, & consensual.” All dynamics should have negotiations & renegotiations, active communication, safety, & aftercare. That’s why conversations about hard limits are a must. If a woman likes being spanked then yes, she can consent to that. But if being flogged is her hard limit, then that should stay out of the dynamic. People of all genders can be the submissive or dominant in a dynamic. This role isn’t solely for women. Also, kink isn’t inherently bad, but there are bad actors in the kink community. That’s why education is so important & helps individuals spot the red flags & weed out abusive & manipulative people who are not safe to play with. Edit: This couple is a bad example of a healthy 24/7 D/s dynamic. Especially with their apparent lack of aftercare, communication, & them talking to their kids about it.
@@VampishpeachThere is a difference. Her being the person presenting the dynamic to her husband and being quite casual about not being into the punishments (compared to his more adamant denial of enjoyment) makes me think she does get something out of it other than enjoyment in the moment. The consistency of wrongdoing met with preplanned punishment might give her peace of mind. The sensations might be painful, tedious, and degrading, but they may also serve as an outlet of emotions or adrenaline for her as it can be a huge rush. Kind of like the ice bath people who claim that very painful activity is actually a solution to all of your problems. Or workouts to failure. Or really long fasts. These things are painful but give people a rush. In fact, they can give so much of a rush that people will accidentally hurt themselves (or worse) chasing bigger and better highs. Another thing people enjoy is the clearing of the guilty feelings from doing something wrong. Some people just have trouble processing guilt and so punishments offer an option of temporary suffering to allow you to feel like you have offered penance. This can be common and addictive in religious practice as well - similar to ice baths, long fasts, and heavy workouts. People don't wear hair shirts for fun, but the discomfort can be a way to process your guilt or shame in a more safe way. This doesn't prevent things from becoming abusive, or starting that way. It is just very important that there is fully established consent. I don't know if this couple has that, I'm not an oracle, but it isn't all beating women to get your rocks off. If you're curious and want to learn more, Evie Lupine has a ton of videos on these topics and she is very open-minded and inclusive.
I don’t like how you say “behavior correction.” That’s NOT the point at all, that’s an entitlement to control through the infliction of punishment. I’m not into aftercare when I’m the sub, but it’s because I enjoy it in that context. If my partner was doing it to manipulate my behavior outside the bedroom id be like wtf who do you think you are??
@@Vampishpeach If it's genuine consent, then it can't be abuse. The issue is that consent goes far beyond simply agreeing to an activity. True consent can only happen with full knowledge and understanding of the activity and the consenter having the ability to refuse with no consequences. "It was my idea initially" doesn't mean it's consensual, "I said it was ok" doesn't even necessarily mean it was consensual. My concern for the woman in the video is that she doesn't seem to have an adequate understanding of consent, I couldn't care less that she's simply getting spanked. Also both of their insistence that they're not enjoying it tells me there is either coercion (they believe they must for religious reasons, etc.) or denial (it is a kink but they won't admit it) somewhere, and that is concerning also of course.
it is, and it shows there's not adequate aftercare since she's saying she has to "distract herself" instead of him comforting her and taking care of her during sub drop :/
@@ittymushroom she literally asked for it, though. She brought the book to her husband and said, let’s do this. She probably has the ability to renegotiate this if she wants-I don’t see a reason to believe she’s a victim here. If anyone is a victim, it’s the kids.
Do y’all think they throw the ten pages away after shes done writing them, or do you think they have a folder with hundreds of pages with the same fucking sentence written over and over😭💀
@AnnamarieForcino and then go back through them and giggle about how silly she was to have broken the rule and had to write lines. Remember "daddy knows best" ( I keep getting the mother gothel mother knows best song in my head when I hear daddy knows best and not even mother gothel would approve of this!)
Coming from someone in the BDSM community: I agree 10000% with the children's involvement or more specifically their knowledge on the subject. Even if the parents aren't imposing these beliefs on them, they are influencing or teaching "this works" and it doesn't for most relationships. These kids should have 0 clue what's going on and IF they stumble upon it then the parents need to disclose that this isn't what you're gonna expect from normal relationships and we both consent. It should always be hidden from children. The rest of it I really need more information on how public they do this. Even if they aren't sadists or masochists (it sounds like they arent), the root part of BDSM is the headspace. They are practicing lifestyle/headspace BDSM. If they consent to it, others arent consenting to witness it, pornographic or not. There are quite a few BDSM enjoyers that dont understand this simple rule. It also opens things up to get wellness checks. The other thing I need more information on is if there's a safe word involved and the ability for both to say: "I'm not comfortable with this, we need to stop and re-evaluate". There are risks to doms as well, not to undermine the higher risk of subs. They have the right to practice this if both consent and follow the ground rules set ahead of time, but they aren't going about this correctly. I am disturbed by the fact they're bringing gender roles into this, but to each their own... Just hope they are more safe and private with it. And LEAVE THE KIDS OUT OF IT!!! Edit to add: these kids don't get to see healthy communication in partners, just that men make rules and women follow.
@rosie2871 that was another red flag for me too, my comment was turning into an essay though (if it wasn't one already 😅) If he's a good dom then he should 100% be there for aftercare and not let her go through sub drops alone. I just wonder what else we're not seeing, since videos tend to only show the "good" parts...
At the pride event in my city, I got a large lesbian fan, and my thought process was "Oh, yay, they have me." Then, "I CAN DO 'WELL HELLO SINNERS *fan* HOW ARE YA??" One of the most exciting moments of my little gay life
I had to read the first couple of lines multiple times before my brain could understand you were talking about a fan and not a person who enjoys your art. And then it had to figure out how a fan could be lesbian 😂😂😂😂
Obvious question: who checks him when he goes out of line? If she's the heart, he should remember that the heart and the brain are equally indispensable. None works without the other, so we can't even pick which is more important. If the heart doesn't pump blood to the brain, no signals will be sent to body parts and vice versa. I can be submissive but I'm not going to be a child again, you ain't my dad🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
Little thing but thanks so much for saying "impulsive thoughts", and not "intrusive thoughts". People throw the term "intrusive thoughts" around without understanding that they are a symptom of OCD/other mental illnesses and are upsetting thoughts that cause you anxiety, not just "haha eat leaf" or whatever people are mislabeling it as.
I agree with this, but it's important to note that they aren't exclusive to OCD. While they're a major part of OCD, they're a symptom of a lot of different mental illnesses, too. Limiting them to OCD can lead to misunderstanding or even misdiagnosis. The important thing to remember is that they are upsetting thoughts that are generally directly against your moral code or safety. Not a silly thing you want to do that you didn't think through, like cutting your hair suddenly.
@@fluffystuff500 I know, I just said OCD because that's my own personal experience. I edited my original comment to reflect this though. Also why is half of your comment literally what I said?
@arsenicAmygdala Sometimes, I reiterate a point I agree with to emphasize that my comment isn't exclusively critical. Helps me avoid getting into pointless arguments. You wouldn't believe how many people ignore the first "I agree" and rush to being defensive. I can edit that out if it came across the wrong way, though.
@@fluffystuff500 I get that. Maybe it wasn't clear in my comment but all I said was that it's a symptom of OCD, not that it can't be a symptom of anything else. I don't think it's limiting to say it's a symptom of OCD--that's just objectively true. My comment was purely from a personal standpoint, as someone with OCD.
There is a creator on TikTok, who grew up in the kink community where her mom was a sub, and they lived a lifestyle similar to this. She has been bringing a lot of attention to the fact that doing this in front of your children is abuse and it allows really extensive abuse to happen to your children. And she has been talking about how raising your children in the kink community in a way that they see what’s actually going on in are part of the community is extremely harmful
Yeah I can definitely see how that could be a problem. Even if it isn’t a sexual thing, younger kids aren’t going to understand “bad thing in a controlled way is good”. And for older kids who can understand that, frankly, I personally think that the details behind a couple’s bdsm relationship are a level of vulnerability & emotional intimacy that doesn’t need to exist in a parent-child relationship
According to my professor in human sexuality, I’m never to yuck someone’s yum. Even if it’s abusive or predatory. I fucking hate that woman so much. She literally went on a monologue how she saved an person with autism from being shit on for saying the n-word full hard r. She is literally the centrist lib meme that tells the KKK and BLM to just get along and see “both sides.” I told her that she was wrong to do that because he said the fucking n-word. She then accused me of being ableist in front of the whole class. I then said I have autism and know not to use slurs. Ever since then, she would literally bully me every time in the class. She would find anything to take a shot at me even when I’m not taking part in the discussion or it’s during her lecture. I’m sorry for this rant. I have no one to talk about this. My whole college is hella bigoted in a bigoted small town and don’t care about my complaints.
THIS I wish the video focused more on that and how the kids even know about it and how they maybe could have navigated that better rather than the Vanilla radfem paternalistic "lol ew she calls him Daddy and I think I'm mentally superior to women who are into being BDSM subs lol they're consenting to abuse" Typical BS
Non-sexual kinks/dynamics are perfectly valid, it's actually something I'd personally be interested in, but this just isn't that. I think the post from the Facebook group says everything A sub having to distract themselves while going through sub drop AND being in pain is an indication that aftercare is not at all a concern. It always should be because of how intense and vunerable the situation is, how mentally and emotionally taxing it can be for sub and dom alike. There's also the aspect of how the sub is actually the one with the most control in a healthy dom/sub relationship. And the fact that neither of them enjoy it is just... sad. If she genuinely did pressure him into participating, like she talked about having to convince him, it's just a bummer
@@humanperson2480 basically it's just when all those good brain chemicals start to fade and you crash. It can be really emotionally and mentally draining to not get that reassurance/care after something that's often very intense Like when you have a super fun day but you're exhausted when it's all over. You need to recoup and remember how to be a person, y'know?
having personally sub _and_ dom dropped myself, aftercare goes both ways and the key part of kinky relationships especially is communication. if you cant communicate, its not going to work out. if you cant trust your partner to give you real, genuine care (whatever that looks like for you), something is wrong and you both need to stop and reevaluate what you're doing. these two are practicing a kink, but neither knows what they're doing. and that is dangerous.
Biggest thing for me is like: do they have a safe word? Does the wife get a say if things go too far? The wife consented, but does she have the ability to withdraw consent? Those things got to be clearly defined upfront or you're pushing abuse.
Y r ygs comparing and straights like we're stereotypes? This is obviously a mental thing for the couple's taste NONE of us normal straights r into this 😂
@@Aria__1700 Well the sub isn't about stereotyping straight people, more so making a light situation out of homophobia and unhealthy straight relationships.
@@Aria__1700 Idk which jokes you thought were more on the serious side with are the straights okay. I think you likely did misread which that can happen. If you remember one of the jokes could you possibly share it? Like the other person said a lot of the time it’s lighthearted and making fun of homophobia and toxic relationships and mindsets. There can be occupational seriousness when talking about how harmful the toxic mindset are, but for the most part it’s meant to be lighthearted. Most the posts I’ve seen have a more lighthearted approach to it.
“When your partner acts up so you give them homework” - when my ex cheated on me I made him write an essay on why what he did was wrong and 25 pages of apologies. He cheated on me again afterwards 💀
As the man I married ( in 1966 ! ) used to say , " Only an insecure man needs an obedient wife to boost his self esteem. A self assured and strong man wants a partner who he can talk to , work with and walk through life shoulder to shoulder and hip to hip as an intelligent mate. If you want a traditional , subservient wifey , look to your self image . You are not beta , you are bloody omega , " Loved that man.
When she says HOH, I just imagine Karen from the home owners association coming to her house to make her write lines for the lawn being an inch too long.
I feel she had a D/S kink while he wanted traditional values and now they’re both in too deep to realize they have different values in how they see the relationship. If there’s not a safe word, then it hasn’t truly been discussed. I wonder if she would be as willing to be with Laz if she knew there were communities for her kink out there.
My Nigerian upbringing was and is still strict but writing 10 pages .... I never had to do that, fortunately I successfully avoided that particular punishment in boarding school 😮😮 I only heard my neighbor beat his wife with a hanger , through the wall of our apartment and she left soon after. My dad will whoop me and my brother and be tired for months before we got our next whooping 😅😅😅 and I did some messy stuff too 😂😂😂
I'm at 18:04 and my heart SHATTERED when I read her talk about the sub drop. Sub drop is something natural, happens from time to time but REAL DOMS help subs through it, that is what aftercare is for. Handling soreness and sub drop by herself? That man isnt a dom he's a phony and an *buser disguising himself as a dom. For inexperienced/new subs it is fairly easy to fall for men like these but by the way she's speaking the sub/dom dynamic stopped being mutually consenting a while ago. She deserves soooo much more.
Since he was seemingly reluctant to initially engage in this dynamic, I wonder if he just genuinely doesn’t *know* what all his “role” entails and that he needs to provide aftercare.
@@megapiglatin2574 I'm not entirely sure he is into this at all based on how much responsibility she takes for learning about the dynamic and presenting it to him. But they aren't using any safeguards for either party which can have terrible outcomes for both. Domestic discipline almost never does use safeguards.
In my opinion, sharing your kinks with friends and family, especially children, crosses a huge line. There's nothing wrong with D/S relationships, as long as everyone is consenting and happy, and I'm not fully convinced that she's not happy with their dynamic. They just need to leave everyone else out of it.
I don't wanna be mean but how is sharing it with your friends wrong, family and children obviously make sense but I don't get why people can talk about bdsm and stuff online with random people who could be little kids or super old weirdos but not friends
I don’t think there’s anything wrong about discussing it with friends! In fact I think having as much social support as possible is important for any kind of relationship.
They get along better than most relationships???? You mean if one partner upsets the other, instead of talking it out, the wife gets a punishment that neither party enjoys??? My head hurts 🤕
But they never fight! (because they literally can't with this dynamic) and everyone knows a lack of visible conflict is the same as happiness, right? there's no way that ends with one person thinking everything's fine while the other is on the brink of mental breakdown. (ironically, in this specific relationship, it might be the husband that's one wrong move away from cracking)
it seems that the wife decided that a 24/7 DS relationship would be beneficial to their marriage, but isn't even into it, so it's concerning! none of them even really like it (for example, spanking), they just go by some arbitrary rules from a book :/ these interviewers will really always find the worst couples to represent power dynamics, huh?
i wish people would finally understand: your kink is not a lifestyle/relationship model! fifty shades blurred this line for many. kinks need extensive consent and negotiations and boundaries, so you can leave it in the bedroom.
@@theshunnedBandersnatch but not to the degree that your little children need to know. there is LITERALLY no need for that? some things can remain private. there is zero benefit from letting their kids in. could have stayed in the bedroom and private.
@@marykay7878 there's no need for kink to be 100% private if is not explicit. You are right that the children should not be involved, this just reads as a couple that stumbled upon bdsm and don't really know how to do it properly
@theshunnedBandersnatch Outside the bedroom is one thing (like roleplaying?) but it should not be 24/7 since there are times you need to snap out of it and act normally and a person can't consent 24/7.
sam collins and his gf made a rlly interesting video about this! i agree with their statement that this seems like the couple’s way to have a “24/7 god-approved k!nk” however, i think its definitely less safe/healthy than most bdsm relationships
@@semilorekaji-hausa2078 i just saw these replies sorry haha - its on his channel “Outspoken” and its titled “Submissive Christian Wives who practice ‘Domestic Discipline’”
My biggest concern with this is that the kids knowing about their relationship might end up in an abusive relationship and think it's normal and okay because that's the type of relationship their parents have
So as someone who has been into kink for a very long time and also has been semi-active in IRL kink communities, I really want to leave a comment about this video regardless of if it's seen or not. The thing about it is that their reason that it "isn't BDSM" is not true. I understand what they're saying- He is not a sadist, and she is not a masochist. I'm not sure that they're telling the TRUTH, but either way, that doesn't negate the fact that this is a form of kink. A TON of kink is nonsexual. I believe that most 24/7 dynamics are sexual, but there is absolutely room for nonsexual 24/7. I'm a queer trans man and 24/7 is sort of an unreachable/unrealistic dream to me, the exception being that I personally really dislike the basis of it being gender; if anything, I prefer the opposite (the notion that men are inherently submissive and women are inherently dominant)- which is a form of roleplay, as both partners are aware that sex/gender doesn't actually determine how submissive or dominant you are, whether that be in the bedroom or in your personality. As I've seen others say, they are clearly misguided in their practice, and I honestly believe that this is a couple who hasn't done enough research into what they're doing. I feel like she read some stuff on facebook about 1950s household type dynamics, decided she really liked it and wanted it, and got caught in an echo chamber as she formed her own ideas about what it is and should be like. They seem like they really don't want people to think it's kink because of some sort of stigma but that's what it is, point blank. I didn't have a huge issue with it for the majority of the video- I don't think she's lying about fully consenting, I don't think he's lying about being introduced to it by her etc, but they need to reevaluate why they're doing this and research healthier practices. My biggest issue, as most others', is the fact that they are teaching their children about it. That is disturbing and to me should be considered mistreatment at best and abuse at worst. I really think a social worker needs to come in and review the content that their kids have been shown and judge the situation since nobody online really can- we don't know what they're being told or what they're seeing. But yeah, every single person in the kink/BDSM community knows that you keep it private; nobody is allowed to share information or pictures of others without explicit consent to avoid contact with work, friends, and family- ESPECIALLY minors. Even if nothing sexually explicit is going on, if everybody keeps their clothes on and has no genital contact etc etc etc. It's not okay. It's really disappointing for me to see that they are handling this in the way they are. Kink dynamics are accused of being abusive all the time by vanilla people- so that didn't really trigger any concern for me, surprisingly. You can have the most safe and sane practices and two enthusiastically consenting people, but if they tell their vanilla friends or family about it, they could absolutely have those people accuse the dom of being an abuser very quickly. He's not abusive to her, in my eyes. THEY are both abusive to their CHILDREN, and being irresponsible and probably forming more issues in their relationship that will hit them further down the line. Kink is not bad, BDSM is not harmful, if you do it in a safe, sane, and consensual way. Remember- if only one person is consenting, that's not kink OR BDSM- It's just rape!
Thank you for typing all that out. I pretty much agree with you on all points. They definitely shouldn't be exposing and talking to their kids about it at this point. Like, I'd say possibly once the kids were older, like 16+ where they'd probably have come across mentions of kink stuff online and started picking up on a few things that seem different about how their parents interact vs most others. Basically give them a more in depth "sex talk" at that point. But idk :/ they definitely don't seem as educated as they should be on this dynamic, especially not well enough to clearly explain it to anyone else well
@@dangerxbadger2300 Thanks for reading :p I'm just a dork who writes long comments all the time but I feel like most of the time they even don't get read lol
Brandy seems legit like the one leading it and keeping it going. Laz seemed compliant and going with it, but never seemed to take an active role in speaking on it, looked uncomfy with the abuse comments. When the interviewer asked 'how is this not abuse?' Laz looked to her to answer because he seems like he thinks it IS abuse, but she wants it, and he wants her happy.
That’s not how I interpreted the look. Brandy is saying it’s her idea, but if this really is an abusive situation, then that wouldn’t be uncommon. Victims will often speak on behalf of their abusers in defense of them. To me it looked like he was looking to her to defend his position. I’m not saying what’s happening here is for sure abuse, but I wouldn’t necessarily believe what’s being said in situations similar to this.
I agree that he doesn’t enjoy it. He looks like he’s a bit uncomfortable with some of it but she wants this lifestyle? He does look at her exasperatedly a few times and she is the one who brought it to him. Sure they could be playing it to look like she’s the one making this choice but his body language and personality support it. He’s not giving natural dominance and I wonder if it’s not HER who hangs up the signs? I need more info.
@@xpouii-3992 If this is a kink of hers, that would be common. It's easier to process wanting someone to spank you with a paddle to tears for reasons other than sexual gratification than it is to process hitting someone with a paddle until they cry, especially seeing the bruises and pain later. That actually messes with people who consent to being a top for these dynamics if there is no easing in process. The bottom might genuinely want it for their own reasons, but that doesn't make the top feel better if they weren't ready. If this is abuse, that would also be maybe not super common, but it's a known tactic. It's like how cults operate where they suggest things to you so you feel like you are choosing it when really you were manipulated. The only way to know is for her to maybe explore BDSM. She has some bizarre misconceptions about it that seem to come from media or something. The dynamic she wants, if she is the one who wants it, 1000% exists within BDSM. BDSM is not only funishment and fetishes.
I HATE that the kids are learning about this. Because the issue is that this is blurring the lines between a consensual relationship and an abusive one, and that line is already extremely thin if there is one. I highly doubt that this is giving the mom room to teach her kids how to spot red flags
@@zeebird you clearly don't, because they haven't shown ANY healthy BDSM practices they've put into place. If this IS bdsm, then it is some of the most toxic, unhealthy BDSM around, and ought to be called out as such.
Writing lines and timeout are the least sexy punishments I could possibly think of. Like what is going to do next, cut her screen time? Tell her he’s “disappointed, not angry?” They need a coach or something.
In all honesty, i have nothing against people who want to practice their kinks in private, as long as both parties consent it is perfectly fine. But what i don't think is fine, is to expose your own children to this type of stuff??? a 13 year old shouldn't even know what kink their parents practice behind closed doors.
@@airacummins5076 I do though, I feel like I have a better understanding on everything in that realm than most people, even though I do VERY MUCH dislike the "don't kink shame" community since that's just their way of getting away with p3do, zoo and r3pe fetishes, I've seen so much of it
btw i love that you said "impulsive thoughts" instead of intrusive thoughts. thank you so much for getting that right like it genuinely made me so happy to see you just use it in normal conversation. i love your videos!!
Technically D/s isn’t gender-specific but the whole tradwife craze has basically fused it into that online now. There are plenty of Dominant women, submissive men and gay kink people, but like with everything they don’t get as much representation. Also yeah involving the kids is icky I don’t think that’s chill at all because this isn’t tradwife this is literal BDSM and consenting adults should probably not just talk to their kids about it openly like that. Like wear your little harness o er your shirt to the mall or whatever but actually sitting down and EXPLAINING? Big big yikes no no no.
Some people choose to live in the lifestyle 24/7 …which is a choice. But having the rules displayed in your house is WILD. And not calling it what it is …which is BDSM …is also wild. "DD and BDSM isn't the same because i don't like to be spanked." WOOOOOW. A lot to unpack there. Spanking in BDSM isn't always because someone likes it. It can be used as punishment. Punishment and impact play are not always the same thing. The fact that their children witness this is honestly vile. VILE. Keep your s3x games in the bedroom.
It seems absolutely terrible that they let their kids know what's going on. This 100% reads like a kink and if that's the case, their kids shouldn't know a thing about it.
At first I didn’t necessarily think it was an issue. It reminded me of the dynamic in one of my favorite movies Secretary. But when she said they don’t enjoy and discuss it in front of their children….yikes
The children should have no involvement whatsoever in what the parents decide to do in their relationship…especially THIS. Even though they say it “works” for them, it’s not healthy for the children to see or know about. What would they even learn from this?? Ugh it makes me so mad it’s so irresponsible.
This couple is just a huge slap in the face of every single dom and or sub. You do this stuff in BDSM if you both consent to it, BUT: - You talk about it first and set boundaries - it's something that happens in a "scene" so you actively start and end this dynamic. It has a timer to it - it doesn't have to be sexual but often it is - it's for both partners to let go of their usual role in day-to-day life and just play out a different reality - couples who do this actually live as what we perceive as normal most of the time but doing scenes they are not their usual self - if one of the two people wants to stop they can say that ALL THE TIME and the other person stops This is not normal and highly abusive
Yes yes yes!!! And aftercare is a MUST, making her deal with sub drop on her own is awful. And literally never involve unconsenting people in your kink, especially KIDS. Gross.
This seems like a 24/7 dynamic which is a bit different from standard scene dynamics. I'm not into it myself, it's just too much. The aftercare and mushy stuff tends to alter to fit the more intense dynamic but they don't disappear. The time limits do. Sometimes even safewords do. But you don't start here. This type of dynamic can and should take a long time to work into for both partners. It requires too much trust and knowledge of the other person to just jump in.
As a fan of this channel and someone in the bdsm community, I just wanted to clarify a few things. If you’re interested in learning more about bdsm, you can check out Evie Lupine’s videos. BDSM stands for bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism, and masochism. Not all BDSM practices are sexual. I would say this couple would fall under the non sexual categories. I think that’s what they meant by they’re not BDSM BDSM is a spectrum. Some people only practice it during sex. Others incorporate it into every aspect of their lives, which is called TPE, total power exchange. Many fall somewhere in between Female domination and male submission is also popular. However, you don’t see that many femdom couples because there are very few female doms in comparison to male subs in any area. So there are fewer couples doing that. Not every BDSM dynamic incorporate punishment, but for folks that do, writing lines and corner times are popular. As to what the sub gets out of a dynamic, it’s highly personal. For a lot of people, having rules put everything in the open. Whereas in a typical relationship there may be things that are unsaid, which can cause arguments. In a healthy BDSM dynamic, both parties come up with the rules together and can discuss if the rules don’t work. A BDSM relationship, if done right, takes a lot of communication on boundaries, and consenting on every detail Typically people in the community are very against having kids know about their dynamics, so I thought that was a little questionable.
I'm very much into the D/s dynamic in a relationship, but here's my take on why this bothered me. Both people in the relationship say that it's consentual and that they have benefitted from the dynamic, but that the "discipline" isn't something that they enjoy. So I'm automatically thinking 🤔 what the hell is the point then? And there was a post from someone on her fb group that mentioned sub-drop; which is basically when subs experience the D/s dynamic but with no aftercare or affection from their Dom and they end up feeling abused. Which is a very real thing that can and does happen in D/s relationships. I myself have always preferred the role of sub, and I've had (mostly) good experiences. I have had some trust issues where I felt like a girlfriend wouldn't act as a good Dom and I wasn't willing to engage in a D/s relationship with them. This couple really makes me take a step back and I can't help but share the same concerns that family and friends have voiced. Something else that really alarms me is that the kids are aware.
The kids should NOT know about this!! They will not understand and this will form their ideals on relationships. And they don’t get it like they should. They shouldn’t know about this. That is insane!!! Those poor kids. I hope her daughter doesn’t take abuse from someone because she thinks “he loves her in the end.”
Not only did they both say casually that it was her idea but also look at who was comfortable and doing a lot of talking vs who was uncomfortable and quiet...and she's active in that facebook group promoting this lifestyle...just looking at how uncomfortable he looked and how confident she was, if he's forcing her then they both should win awards for this performance imo.
Yeah the racism is real- based on their behavior and what they said if anyone is being coerced into doing BDSM here it's him -but because he's a Black man and the dominant of course he MUST be the abuser /s- it's such a vanilla radfem understanding of abuse versus kink I bet she thinks that cis women can't be abusive towards men/ women / anyone and that doms can't be abused in a BDSM relationship either. Just as a survivour it pisses me off hearing people within the LGBTQIA community repeat this abuser rhetoric of "women can't consent to bdsm because I think it's icky and if they get abused well all bdsm is abuse anyway so what did they expect they consented to it lol". Like it's not helpful to survivors who do experience abuse within kink to come forward only to be told they were stupid and asking for it by doing 'icky kink'
@@vykcryptidIn no way did she say or has any one ever said and been taken seriously that women can't consent to kink 😂 have you met women?! 😂 The reason they're talking about the dynamic here it's because she is the one receiving all the "punishments" so naturally they are talking about her safety, I haven't seen anyone implying that she was forced into it but have seen the ones being concerned about whether she has the ability to withdraw consent within this dynamic. If he was the sub granted there wouldn't be the same level of concern but there would be some concern if it seemed this not thought out. Like regardless of all of that both are wrong for their children knowing ANYTHING
As someone who is in a marriage with similar dynamics, one big reason someone would want to go through punishments or rules they "don't like" is because it provides a sense of comfort and helps you connect with your innerchild. It also helps you feel like you don't have to be in control of everything, not even your own actions, because someone else is there to make sure you're "being good", hope this helps!
Fair, but I'm willing to bet you and your spouse have a ton of communication around consent, boundaries, safe words and engage in after care, none of which this couple do.
@@dangerxbadger2300 that you would be correct about, I just wanted to shed some light on why someone might willingly participate in punishments and rules that they otherwise don't enjoy
Edit: oh my god they have kids Edit again holy shit: if they wouldn't be happy together without the very controlled environment they probably shouldn't be together there is nonsexual kink practice from what i know about the community, but its generally widely accepted by kinksters that you should never be in those roles 24/7. its not healthy to be roleplaying 24/7. for all i know they dont practice 24/7 and its just a misleading video but the microsoft 360 printouts in the frames? girl its not looking good
Every time I see one of those “tradwife influencers” I’m blown away that anyone believes that she’s a tradwife. If she was, she sure as hell wouldn’t be posting stuff on the internet and looking pretty to thousands of men. She wouldn’t even have access to a phone. Especially when he’s not home. She wouldn’t be putting on makeup when he’s not around unless he left bruises on her. It’s not real. None of it is real. My first marriage was “traditional” and the whole time I hated my life, was trying to leave, and I snuck to the doctors for birth control so I wouldn’t accidentally have any children by him. PS, please consider; The Republican Party want my first marriage for everyone with NO access to birth control.
It’s a lot more complicated than you make it seem. I was in a power exchange relationship for a couple of years and although my particular situation was u healthy, there are extremely safe and consensual to enter into these types of dynamics. It can be really cathartic and create a safe space for all sorts of people. It is trust beyond anything else in the world.
First, I never heard about something like this before. For me it feels like the wife brought this idea forth and then it got out of hand. I don't believe they are truly happy with this, they read this book and now fear that when they don't follow this lifestyle, they will divorce. This relationship is destined to crash at some point. I just can't think that this works forever.
This just doesn't seem like a fair dynamic. Like the fact that Laz doesn't get any of the punishments that Brandy gets, and the fact that Brandy is doing all the housework while he maybe does the grilling. Plus why was this the automatic conclusion for their relationship not working? It'd be one thing if they mentioned couples councilling but they don't, it just wasn't working and then this happened. Plus they don't even seem like they're enjoying this all that much, Laz looks uncomfortable the whole time and Brandy looks like she's being held at gunpoint. Also there's not really any mention of aftercare. All of this seems less like a BDSM thing and more like Brandy having unresolved trauma that she's not working through.
Yall you’re not gonna tell me this is just domestic bdsm kink stuff. It’s language being co-opted to cover up abusive behavior, it happens /all the time/. You also have to be careful about who you’re subjecting to your kinks even if that’s what this is, so if they’re at all doing this in front of their kids, it’s not okay. Also also the thing about BDSM scenes is there’s usually an end point to the scene :I (The good thing is if this is at all TLC or something it’s probably completely fake.)
that’s genuinely what they say when it is a situation like that “oh its kink” and now you MUST accept it because its “kink”. a lot of weird shit is being portrayed as kink..and i genuinely think theres a fine line between abuse and kink.
This is a dynamic that can be practiced in kink, but based on how it seemed in the video, they're going about it ALL wrong. To the point where it's abuse hiding behind the label of kink. This is a dom/sub dynamic, but it is NOT healthy. They're missing a lot of elements like aftercare, breaks, safewords, and it seems like the discussions they had about it didn't go all that in depth about their limits and comfortability either. Edit: forgot to mention not involving their kids being an important thing they're missing. Edit 2: Oh, and she said neither of them like it. They aren't even enjoying this.
@@mingiinterludethere is not a fine line between kink and abuse. Kink is consensual, and either partner can back out at anytime without fear of retribution. Abuse is nonconsensual, actively hurts and terrorizes the victim who cannot back out whenever they please.
@@mingiinterlude I don’t get the addition of your last line, “I genuinely think there’s a fine line between abuse and kink”. Like I know you mention abusers hiding behind the kink label, but then that’s not kink it’s abuse. So what’s the fine line in your eyes? (Genuinely just confused here)
I feel like not enough people are focusing on the fact that they said the husband doesn't like it either. My question is this: Is the assumption that he's lying? Did they make that part up? Because people are saying he's a red flag but it's presented in a way that makes it seem he'd rather not even be doing this. It doesn't seem healthy for either party despite being worse for the wife. Unless I missed something and they did totally make that part up.
I don't care who does what behind closed doors if you both gave consent- but to do that in front of your CHILDREN to willingly hurt your wife in front of them, to willingly let your husband spank you in front of them. You shouldn't be allowed to have children, as someone who grew up in a unstable household- i promise you your children do not see two consenting adults with boundaries and communication- all they see is daddy hitting mommy or Daddy yelling at mommy- and that fucking pisses me off that those children have to witness her being hit, or witness her being belittled- and i hate that they'll grow up and think thats normal because they parents are grooming them to think abuse is normal, while their dynamic might not be abusive their children might get into a relationship where their partner hits them instead of communicating and they'll be "fine" with it because oh- dad hit mom all the time so this must be the same thing- THEIR CHILDREN THEY DONT UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF BDSM AND THEY SHOULDN'T- because lets be honest if this isn't bdsm then its abuse
it sounds like DDLG to me, she just isn't age playing as obviously as others do - but the types of "consequences" she receives seem like age play in my opinion.
As long as it’s safe, sane, and consensual, this is fine. What’s NOT fine is that their KIDS are exposed to it. CHILDREN can not CONSENT to being exposed to your kink (even if you don’t believe it’s a kink.) When you expose CHILDREN to this stuff, you are setting them up to be ABUSED because they are TOO YOUNG to understand or be exposed to BDSM.
"spank your spouse, avoid divorce"? there it is, the true form of this dynamic is really just misogyny. it's so funny how misogyny likes to hide behind a lot of facade and pretends that it's something else, but it always rears its ugly head and gives away what it truly is, every single time 😂 also this comment isn't directed at the couple. it's directed at the book and the dynamic that it's promoting
It’s weird bc it’s like they went into a kink dynamic without really doing research into it or talking to people in the community… and they don’t even seem like they enjoy doing it….
Can you have a 24/7 d/s relationship? Yes. It's just the fact that she said neither of them enjoyed it that makes me question what tf they're doing, yk?
I feel like they just have a dom/sub bdsm relationship (in the community certain relationships expand "out of the bedroom" i.e. one person completely gives up control of their life to the other person). the uncomfortable part is about them being straight and therefore enforcing gender stereotypes. consent and constant communication is key in these relationships and truly only them can know where the abuse line is. the fact that they seem to include other people in it inadvertently as spectators tho, even the fucking KIDS, now that's crazy and absolutely unhinged
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@@tr-st_me_bro😭💀📸
Really bummed about this sponsor because these devices can cause more problems than good. My PFT told me she deals with reversing the damage of over strengthening so much.
STOP TALKING ABOUT BDSM IF YOU HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT PRACTICES AND LIFESTYLE. THEY ARE CLEAR N GIVE CLEAR INFO ON IT. STOP JUDGEMENT ON BDSM IF YOU ARE NOT INTO IT. AS A DOMINANT WOMEN MYSELF, THIS IS A NORMAL D/s RELATIONSHIP. UR NOT INTO BDSM, OFC YOU ARE GONNA CREATE A WHOLE VIDEO QUESTIONING IT. READ AND INFORM YOURSELF BEFORE DOING CONTENT WITH NO BASES. THIS TRULLY IS A CHILD JUDGING A WHOLE LIFESTYLE SHES NOT INTO IT. LET ME REMIND YOU THIS ISN’T ONLY FOR MEN, I DO THIS PRACTICES MYSELF AS A WOMEN. COMPLETELY DISRESPECTFUL
@@Anamarihuana They literally expose their KIDS and neighbors to this. No one is obligated to partake in your BDSM sessions. If people see a husband giving disciplinary and corporal punishment to his wife they will report it, it is just that.
If they didn't have kids it wouldn't bother me so much, but that's bound to screw with a kid's head.
right??
Yea the whole deal with the kids is a wild way to grow up and see women being treated this way 👀😬 this is really odd for the kids to know or what ever!
What kid is gonna respect the authority of a mother who has to sit in the corner or get spanked? This usually puts the kids in a headspace of being 'above' the mother, especially male children.
@@sunnyandthechlo and you'll notice it was one of their sons cussing in front of her. She half heartedly responds that he shouldn't talk like that but there was absolutely no authority in her voice
The older girl seems like she has already dismissed it for herself, but we don't need those little boys expecting this in a relationship.
"Neither of us really enjoy it, but we do it anyway because a book said the other option was divorce" Girl??? Bestie??? Brandy?? Laz?? Someone get these folks a coupon for Couples Therapy
fr like why are you doing this if noone enjoys it
@@Kikiwithamachinegun I don't think they'd continue doing this for so many years if there wasn't some aspect of enjoyment. More likely, they're framing this as a "traditional marriage" to cover up the shame associated with kink. But I guess--worst case scenario--they really believe this is something they're supposed to do because of sincerely held religious beliefs. In which case....😬
@@Uneclipsed Right I’m like at least one of them has to enjoy this
everytime the wife talks about how much she enjoys this lifestyle she looks like shes being held at gunpoint
Fr
I def get what you're saying but tbh I really just think she's nervous and not used to being in front of a camera lol
@@antlerthymeI agree my grandparents have a very traditional relationship and that “ discipline kink” slipped out as they got older till they didn’t care and I think it’s fucking precious from a now adult perspective when I was a kid it was awkward but now as an adult seeing how they’re still the same and still the cutest old couple(with lots of sexual tension even at 70)ever makes me happy she cleans and cooks and watches the grandkids while he does jack shit but play with them and I don’t think that’s belittling to her as a person and I don’t think that diminishes her value as a woman they’ve lived such a long and happy marriage she holds all the personal and familial relationships she holds dominance in social situations and personal situations she also cares for him completely while they both share a life he built for them they both cannot live without eachother no one can imagine a would where they aren’t together and I think that’s absolutely beautiful
JUST BECAUSE you live your life based off traditional gender roles DOES NOT belittle you or ur gender.
@@maritzahernandez9129I agree but holy shit, that's the longest run-over sentence ever.
@@ravene9978 I went to school during “no kid left behind” and dropped out at 15 I no grammar grammar and science make brain dead
The person who said she was tring to stay busy to prevent sub drop made me upset. Like girl be with someone who will give you adequate aftercare
For real, that's the difference between a kink/lifestyle/whatever and abuse. There needs to be mutual respect and care, and aftercare is one of the most important things
This 10000000% I even forgot about aftercare in my comment. Idk if they have it beyond what is shown in the video (the little sweet/ snuggly moments) or even if that was just to paint a better picture...
100% agree
Aftercare is so so important
I don't really understand BDSM. What is sub drop?
@@justhearmeout3959 A very basic, RUclips friendly explanation: since a Dom/sub relationship is supposed to be enjoyed by both people, there is usually a lot of adrenaline/hormones/feelings happening during "punishment". The submissive person doesn't feel bad during the event, but once the adrenaline/good feelings wears off, they can feel sad/hurt. That is called the "drop". Aftercare would be however the Dominant person makes the other person feel better.
I feel like they read about a Dom/Sub relationship online, got h0rny and did it terribly wrong and way too far
this!! they don't seem very educated in any of it, and the sub drop portion of the video reflects that, as well as the fact their kids are involved
i don't think they enjoy it at all though
she says that she doesnt like being spanked 8nor does she like writing the lines) and that he doesnt enjoy spanking either
it's more like they found something that took the idea of a 24/7 BDSM relationship but twisted it into what a "traditional relationship" should be
@@Carolina57685exactly, i think they both just think that BDSM always includes pain. It doesn't, they have not realized they can have a bdsm relationship/sex life without adding pain into it. You both dont like spanking? Dont fucking do it! What are they doing? Ofc it leads to subdrop/dom drop ya'll aren't enjoying that aspect of BDSM, ya'll can do other things just get educatedd 😭
Me: Oh, so it's a sex thing.
Her: Neither of us like it.
Me: So, it's not a sex thing?
Post: "...Sub Drop..."
Me: So, it _is_ a sex thing!
Her: The kids know about it.
Me: WHY DO THE KIDS KNOW ABOUT IT!!!!!????
It felt like a whole emotional roller coaster
My exact reactions
What does sub drop mean?
@QueenKunta AFAIK, it's basically describing the come down when the endorphins and adrenaline start to return to normal levels after intense play. Presumably, when these guys do spankings or other impact play.
This omg this.... Talk about reading my mind😂
It is a kink, it's 24/7 D/s domestic. You can have a D/s relationship without it necessarily being strictly sexual. There's also 1950s household. There are quite a few tradwife influencers who play into the fetish angle of it. It would be 100% cool if they just admitted that it was a kink and not a supposedly sincere effort to replicate "traditional, conservative values."
THIS. fr i feel like so many conservatives are just ashamed to admit they have kinks, and start to project all that insecurity and self loathing outwards towards others.
@@lnhp5592 I remember reading a post once from a lapsed Catholic, who, when practising, had really hard-line views on birth control and pregnancy for reasons they couldn't really articulate and put it down to religious conviction. Then they realised that they actually just had a breeding fetish and chilled out.
@@Magikalic ewwww breeding fetishes are inherently pedophillic
the fact that y’all think something being a kink suddenly makes it okay is hilarious.
“i beat women”
“what is wrong with you”
“i beat women but get off on it!”
“oh okay you’re all good!”
just insanity.
@@kunpunkoIt absolutely is okay if all parties consent and there are safewords :)
I have a request that I haven’t seen enough people look at. Her name is Karissa Collins and she has 11 kids, she’s one of those quiverful people that think god will give them as many children as they want. She exploits her children and has left them in literal DANGER. She left a UTI untreated in her TODDLER that turned septic not once BUT TWICE. She advocated fasting while pregnant, pushes women to have unsafe pregnancies and to keep going when the doctor advises to stop. While her toddler was sick and septic she decided to go TO LUNCH WITH FAMILY before deciding to go to the doctors. She has almost killed her dog before she even had kids. She left wet food in the bowl for TWO WEEKS while she left on vacation, came back and put more wet food on top of the rotting molding maggot filled food. The dog got very sick so she decided it would be best to try and feed it treats and take them on a walk AND NEVER WENT TO THE VET. She has ignored serval concerning symptoms of illness in her children and blames them SINNING on being sick. This is just the TIP of the iceberg. Please do a video on this, she cannot keep getting away with being abusive and neglecting her children. Her 13 year old cannot spell eyes, your, and mommy, and cannot read a children’s book! And she’s homeschooling them!!!
isn't she also really racist and whitewashed her own kids?
Rachel oates has made good deep dives about her and her content, you can check that out!
She does NOT sound like a good mom!
The more I read the worse it got 😅 she needs locking up!
What a psychopath holy heck
They got the daughter's opinion (which was understandably 'hell no') but were real quick not to interview the boys. What are THEY learning about gendered dynamics and what to 'expect' from any women they may be with in future?
Yeah this is so gross when you have kids. And now they’re on the internet where those kids (and their future bullies) can see it
This is 100% a kink. Punishment in a D/s dynamic isn’t always supposed to be pleasurable. It’s a form of behavior correction within the dynamic. Consent is the key factor in whether or not it’s abuse, and things should be frequently revisited to make sure everyone is still on board. The one thing I’d say is that it’s NOT okay for their kids to know what’s going on with them. That is where the abuse is.
so women can consent to being abused? oh its fine because she consented right? yall ever heard of manipulation and coercion? or yall just wrapped up into "kinks" that allow men to be controlling and abusive?
@@Vampishpeach
The mantra of the kink community is “safe, sane, & consensual.” All dynamics should have negotiations & renegotiations, active communication, safety, & aftercare.
That’s why conversations about hard limits are a must. If a woman likes being spanked then yes, she can consent to that. But if being flogged is her hard limit, then that should stay out of the dynamic.
People of all genders can be the submissive or dominant in a dynamic. This role isn’t solely for women.
Also, kink isn’t inherently bad, but there are bad actors in the kink community. That’s why education is so important & helps individuals spot the red flags & weed out abusive & manipulative people who are not safe to play with.
Edit: This couple is a bad example of a healthy 24/7 D/s dynamic. Especially with their apparent lack of aftercare, communication, & them talking to their kids about it.
@@VampishpeachThere is a difference. Her being the person presenting the dynamic to her husband and being quite casual about not being into the punishments (compared to his more adamant denial of enjoyment) makes me think she does get something out of it other than enjoyment in the moment. The consistency of wrongdoing met with preplanned punishment might give her peace of mind. The sensations might be painful, tedious, and degrading, but they may also serve as an outlet of emotions or adrenaline for her as it can be a huge rush. Kind of like the ice bath people who claim that very painful activity is actually a solution to all of your problems. Or workouts to failure. Or really long fasts. These things are painful but give people a rush. In fact, they can give so much of a rush that people will accidentally hurt themselves (or worse) chasing bigger and better highs. Another thing people enjoy is the clearing of the guilty feelings from doing something wrong. Some people just have trouble processing guilt and so punishments offer an option of temporary suffering to allow you to feel like you have offered penance. This can be common and addictive in religious practice as well - similar to ice baths, long fasts, and heavy workouts. People don't wear hair shirts for fun, but the discomfort can be a way to process your guilt or shame in a more safe way.
This doesn't prevent things from becoming abusive, or starting that way. It is just very important that there is fully established consent. I don't know if this couple has that, I'm not an oracle, but it isn't all beating women to get your rocks off. If you're curious and want to learn more, Evie Lupine has a ton of videos on these topics and she is very open-minded and inclusive.
I don’t like how you say “behavior correction.” That’s NOT the point at all, that’s an entitlement to control through the infliction of punishment. I’m not into aftercare when I’m the sub, but it’s because I enjoy it in that context. If my partner was doing it to manipulate my behavior outside the bedroom id be like wtf who do you think you are??
@@Vampishpeach If it's genuine consent, then it can't be abuse. The issue is that consent goes far beyond simply agreeing to an activity. True consent can only happen with full knowledge and understanding of the activity and the consenter having the ability to refuse with no consequences. "It was my idea initially" doesn't mean it's consensual, "I said it was ok" doesn't even necessarily mean it was consensual. My concern for the woman in the video is that she doesn't seem to have an adequate understanding of consent, I couldn't care less that she's simply getting spanked. Also both of their insistence that they're not enjoying it tells me there is either coercion (they believe they must for religious reasons, etc.) or denial (it is a kink but they won't admit it) somewhere, and that is concerning also of course.
If she's so sure it's not a kink, why is she talking about experiencing subdrop after their activities? Isn't that an exclusively kink thing?
it is, and it shows there's not adequate aftercare since she's saying she has to "distract herself" instead of him comforting her and taking care of her during sub drop :/
More like a victim of abuse thing. Because what she is experiencing is abuse even if "she asked for it".
@@ittymushroom that's not how kink works lmao. if there is clear consent, it isn't abuse
@@ittymushroomThat's not how abuse or kink works lmfao. Don't be one of those people.
@@ittymushroom she literally asked for it, though. She brought the book to her husband and said, let’s do this. She probably has the ability to renegotiate this if she wants-I don’t see a reason to believe she’s a victim here. If anyone is a victim, it’s the kids.
Do y’all think they throw the ten pages away after shes done writing them, or do you think they have a folder with hundreds of pages with the same fucking sentence written over and over😭💀
This has me dead
I imagine they scan them to their computer and save all the files to a hard drive.
@AnnamarieForcino and then go back through them and giggle about how silly she was to have broken the rule and had to write lines. Remember "daddy knows best" ( I keep getting the mother gothel mother knows best song in my head when I hear daddy knows best and not even mother gothel would approve of this!)
Who needs corn when you can get off to how thicc that folder is?
@@AnnamarieForcino and of course the scanning is one of her chores.
Coming from someone in the BDSM community: I agree 10000% with the children's involvement or more specifically their knowledge on the subject. Even if the parents aren't imposing these beliefs on them, they are influencing or teaching "this works" and it doesn't for most relationships.
These kids should have 0 clue what's going on and IF they stumble upon it then the parents need to disclose that this isn't what you're gonna expect from normal relationships and we both consent. It should always be hidden from children.
The rest of it I really need more information on how public they do this. Even if they aren't sadists or masochists (it sounds like they arent), the root part of BDSM is the headspace. They are practicing lifestyle/headspace BDSM. If they consent to it, others arent consenting to witness it, pornographic or not. There are quite a few BDSM enjoyers that dont understand this simple rule. It also opens things up to get wellness checks.
The other thing I need more information on is if there's a safe word involved and the ability for both to say: "I'm not comfortable with this, we need to stop and re-evaluate". There are risks to doms as well, not to undermine the higher risk of subs.
They have the right to practice this if both consent and follow the ground rules set ahead of time, but they aren't going about this correctly. I am disturbed by the fact they're bringing gender roles into this, but to each their own...
Just hope they are more safe and private with it. And LEAVE THE KIDS OUT OF IT!!!
Edit to add: these kids don't get to see healthy communication in partners, just that men make rules and women follow.
Also didn't hear a single word about Safewords or Aftercare and I'm 75% through the vid
@@SpecialInterestShow I forgot to mention aftercare to... yeah that was definitely missing too
@@samiwilliams3587especially considering she was saying she has to distract herself during sub drop instead of him being there for her during it :/
@rosie2871 that was another red flag for me too, my comment was turning into an essay though (if it wasn't one already 😅)
If he's a good dom then he should 100% be there for aftercare and not let her go through sub drops alone. I just wonder what else we're not seeing, since videos tend to only show the "good" parts...
@@samiwilliams3587no that's completely fair lmao. and yeah, i hope that's the case, but tbh i highly doubt it
titles that make me go "straight trad couples need safewords"
At the pride event in my city, I got a large lesbian fan, and my thought process was "Oh, yay, they have me." Then, "I CAN DO 'WELL HELLO SINNERS *fan* HOW ARE YA??" One of the most exciting moments of my little gay life
That is SO freaking cool ✨ I'm so happy for you fr 💚
fellow lesbian spotted? love that this channel attracts the sapphic community like moths to a flame
I had to read the first couple of lines multiple times before my brain could understand you were talking about a fan and not a person who enjoys your art. And then it had to figure out how a fan could be lesbian 😂😂😂😂
Me coded
I hope she sees this and it makes her smile 😋
When the “what daddy says goes” paddle came out, I became the embodiment of the Ben Affleck smoking while fed up meme.
If only I had a cigarette
I thought you were gonna make a Dazed and Confused joke for a moment there because Ben Affleck runs around that movie hitting kids with a paddle...
@@theflickchick9850 I’ve never seen it but going to add it to my watch list so I can have that reference for the future.
I can't believe he makes her write lines like she's in detention 😭
Sounds like it was her idea.
It’s a kink thing-
she should be in the club doing lines 😢
Obvious question: who checks him when he goes out of line? If she's the heart, he should remember that the heart and the brain are equally indispensable. None works without the other, so we can't even pick which is more important. If the heart doesn't pump blood to the brain, no signals will be sent to body parts and vice versa. I can be submissive but I'm not going to be a child again, you ain't my dad🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
It's very common, ik kink this way is not mainstream but come on now. It's a very common punishment lol
Little thing but thanks so much for saying "impulsive thoughts", and not "intrusive thoughts". People throw the term "intrusive thoughts" around without understanding that they are a symptom of OCD/other mental illnesses and are upsetting thoughts that cause you anxiety, not just "haha eat leaf" or whatever people are mislabeling it as.
Yes!!!
I agree with this, but it's important to note that they aren't exclusive to OCD. While they're a major part of OCD, they're a symptom of a lot of different mental illnesses, too. Limiting them to OCD can lead to misunderstanding or even misdiagnosis.
The important thing to remember is that they are upsetting thoughts that are generally directly against your moral code or safety. Not a silly thing you want to do that you didn't think through, like cutting your hair suddenly.
@@fluffystuff500 I know, I just said OCD because that's my own personal experience. I edited my original comment to reflect this though.
Also why is half of your comment literally what I said?
@arsenicAmygdala
Sometimes, I reiterate a point I agree with to emphasize that my comment isn't exclusively critical. Helps me avoid getting into pointless arguments. You wouldn't believe how many people ignore the first "I agree" and rush to being defensive. I can edit that out if it came across the wrong way, though.
@@fluffystuff500 I get that. Maybe it wasn't clear in my comment but all I said was that it's a symptom of OCD, not that it can't be a symptom of anything else. I don't think it's limiting to say it's a symptom of OCD--that's just objectively true. My comment was purely from a personal standpoint, as someone with OCD.
There is a creator on TikTok, who grew up in the kink community where her mom was a sub, and they lived a lifestyle similar to this. She has been bringing a lot of attention to the fact that doing this in front of your children is abuse and it allows really extensive abuse to happen to your children.
And she has been talking about how raising your children in the kink community in a way that they see what’s actually going on in are part of the community is extremely harmful
Yeah I can definitely see how that could be a problem. Even if it isn’t a sexual thing, younger kids aren’t going to understand “bad thing in a controlled way is good”. And for older kids who can understand that, frankly, I personally think that the details behind a couple’s bdsm relationship are a level of vulnerability & emotional intimacy that doesn’t need to exist in a parent-child relationship
Why does every wife who claims to like this lifestyle look like she's being held hostage and someone is holding up a sign for her to read
they both look so fucking uncomfortable like??? who is forcing you to do this?? just...... stop????
The _ICK_ hit me so fast like a Nickelodeon slime cannon
Me too🤢
According to my professor in human sexuality, I’m never to yuck someone’s yum. Even if it’s abusive or predatory. I fucking hate that woman so much. She literally went on a monologue how she saved an person with autism from being shit on for saying the n-word full hard r. She is literally the centrist lib meme that tells the KKK and BLM to just get along and see “both sides.” I told her that she was wrong to do that because he said the fucking n-word. She then accused me of being ableist in front of the whole class. I then said I have autism and know not to use slurs. Ever since then, she would literally bully me every time in the class. She would find anything to take a shot at me even when I’m not taking part in the discussion or it’s during her lecture. I’m sorry for this rant. I have no one to talk about this. My whole college is hella bigoted in a bigoted small town and don’t care about my complaints.
Me too😭💀
Same 😭
reall😭
The severe lack of mentioning aftercare in this dynamic is alarming.
THIS I wish the video focused more on that and how the kids even know about it and how they maybe could have navigated that better rather than the Vanilla radfem paternalistic "lol ew she calls him Daddy and I think I'm mentally superior to women who are into being BDSM subs lol they're consenting to abuse" Typical BS
Non-sexual kinks/dynamics are perfectly valid, it's actually something I'd personally be interested in, but this just isn't that. I think the post from the Facebook group says everything
A sub having to distract themselves while going through sub drop AND being in pain is an indication that aftercare is not at all a concern. It always should be because of how intense and vunerable the situation is, how mentally and emotionally taxing it can be for sub and dom alike.
There's also the aspect of how the sub is actually the one with the most control in a healthy dom/sub relationship.
And the fact that neither of them enjoy it is just... sad. If she genuinely did pressure him into participating, like she talked about having to convince him, it's just a bummer
Not really knowledgeable on this kind of thing, what is sub drop if you don’t me asking?
@@humanperson2480 basically it's just when all those good brain chemicals start to fade and you crash. It can be really emotionally and mentally draining to not get that reassurance/care after something that's often very intense
Like when you have a super fun day but you're exhausted when it's all over. You need to recoup and remember how to be a person, y'know?
@@BonseyJonsey I think I understand , thanks!
Good comment!
having personally sub _and_ dom dropped myself, aftercare goes both ways and the key part of kinky relationships especially is communication. if you cant communicate, its not going to work out. if you cant trust your partner to give you real, genuine care (whatever that looks like for you), something is wrong and you both need to stop and reevaluate what you're doing.
these two are practicing a kink, but neither knows what they're doing. and that is dangerous.
Biggest thing for me is like: do they have a safe word? Does the wife get a say if things go too far? The wife consented, but does she have the ability to withdraw consent? Those things got to be clearly defined upfront or you're pushing abuse.
Do you genuinely think these people have a safe word?? Of course they don’t
You can't fool me. This video is just three "Are the straights okay?" videos in a trenchcoat 😂
lmao real😭
Y r ygs comparing and straights like we're stereotypes? This is obviously a mental thing for the couple's taste NONE of us normal straights r into this 😂
@@Aria__1700 Well the sub isn't about stereotyping straight people, more so making a light situation out of homophobia and unhealthy straight relationships.
@@30000beesinatrenchcoat Huh might've misread it cause they all sound so serious about their "jokes"
@@Aria__1700 Idk which jokes you thought were more on the serious side with are the straights okay. I think you likely did misread which that can happen. If you remember one of the jokes could you possibly share it?
Like the other person said a lot of the time it’s lighthearted and making fun of homophobia and toxic relationships and mindsets. There can be occupational seriousness when talking about how harmful the toxic mindset are, but for the most part it’s meant to be lighthearted. Most the posts I’ve seen have a more lighthearted approach to it.
Children should not be aware of grown folks business.
“When your partner acts up so you give them homework” - when my ex cheated on me I made him write an essay on why what he did was wrong and 25 pages of apologies. He cheated on me again afterwards 💀
We found Laz 2.0 y'all
Did he have to write another one?
Your ex just sucks.
😬😬😬
Writing it out won't change how he feels about you, saying all that time never did.
As the man I married ( in 1966 ! ) used to say , " Only an insecure man needs an obedient wife to boost his self esteem. A self assured and strong man wants a partner who he can talk to , work with and walk through life shoulder to shoulder and hip to hip as an intelligent mate. If you want a traditional , subservient wifey , look to your self image . You are not beta , you are bloody omega , " Loved that man.
Hell yeah
He did NOT talk about OMEGAS in 1966!
When she says HOH, I just imagine Karen from the home owners association coming to her house to make her write lines for the lawn being an inch too long.
LMAO same 🤣
Same
See, I immediately think of Big Brother. 😂
what does hoh mean
he fr said "what daddy wants 😡‼️ daddy gets 🐺🗣🐺‼️‼️"
OMG I JUST COMMENTED THIS WE ARE LIKEMINDED✋️😭💀
💀💀💀💀💀💀
how do i shake someone and scream RUN thru the screen
HOMESTUCK
This made me laugh so hard only because how is this the first time I’ve ever read this comment anywhere 😂 but seriously if only
@@r4v3nzcr0ws you cant fight it
I feel she had a D/S kink while he wanted traditional values and now they’re both in too deep to realize they have different values in how they see the relationship. If there’s not a safe word, then it hasn’t truly been discussed. I wonder if she would be as willing to be with Laz if she knew there were communities for her kink out there.
Their relationship seems more like a strict parent/child thing rather than a relationship (based on the punishments so far)
My Nigerian upbringing was and is still strict but writing 10 pages .... I never had to do that, fortunately I successfully avoided that particular punishment in boarding school 😮😮 I only heard my neighbor beat his wife with a hanger , through the wall of our apartment and she left soon after. My dad will whoop me and my brother and be tired for months before we got our next whooping 😅😅😅 and I did some messy stuff too 😂😂😂
I'm at 18:04 and my heart SHATTERED when I read her talk about the sub drop. Sub drop is something natural, happens from time to time but REAL DOMS help subs through it, that is what aftercare is for. Handling soreness and sub drop by herself? That man isnt a dom he's a phony and an *buser disguising himself as a dom. For inexperienced/new subs it is fairly easy to fall for men like these but by the way she's speaking the sub/dom dynamic stopped being mutually consenting a while ago. She deserves soooo much more.
She should file for divorce!
Since he was seemingly reluctant to initially engage in this dynamic, I wonder if he just genuinely doesn’t *know* what all his “role” entails and that he needs to provide aftercare.
I also didn't hear a single word about Safewords or AFTERCARE and I'm literally 3/4 through the video
@@megapiglatin2574 I'm not entirely sure he is into this at all based on how much responsibility she takes for learning about the dynamic and presenting it to him. But they aren't using any safeguards for either party which can have terrible outcomes for both. Domestic discipline almost never does use safeguards.
@@megapiglatin2574 yeah, i don't think he's an abuser the way everyone is saying he is, but still it's super unhealthy for both of them
In my opinion, sharing your kinks with friends and family, especially children, crosses a huge line. There's nothing wrong with D/S relationships, as long as everyone is consenting and happy, and I'm not fully convinced that she's not happy with their dynamic. They just need to leave everyone else out of it.
I don't wanna be mean but how is sharing it with your friends wrong, family and children obviously make sense but I don't get why people can talk about bdsm and stuff online with random people who could be little kids or super old weirdos but not friends
I don’t think there’s anything wrong about discussing it with friends! In fact I think having as much social support as possible is important for any kind of relationship.
They get along better than most relationships???? You mean if one partner upsets the other, instead of talking it out, the wife gets a punishment that neither party enjoys??? My head hurts 🤕
But they never fight! (because they literally can't with this dynamic) and everyone knows a lack of visible conflict is the same as happiness, right? there's no way that ends with one person thinking everything's fine while the other is on the brink of mental breakdown. (ironically, in this specific relationship, it might be the husband that's one wrong move away from cracking)
The last day of pride month… pack up your sinning behaviors
EDIT: I HATE TO BE THAT PERSON BUT TY FOR THE LIKES
Never :]
I shal never stop my sinner behaviors, or as the karen down the street said "satanic practices" :)
god on my birthday can i keep it for one more day 🥺
Nooooo I don't wanna
=
it seems that the wife decided that a 24/7 DS relationship would be beneficial to their marriage, but isn't even into it, so it's concerning! none of them even really like it (for example, spanking), they just go by some arbitrary rules from a book :/
these interviewers will really always find the worst couples to represent power dynamics, huh?
i wish people would finally understand: your kink is not a lifestyle/relationship model! fifty shades blurred this line for many. kinks need extensive consent and negotiations and boundaries, so you can leave it in the bedroom.
Not true for everyone. Some people like things to extend past the bedroom or 24/7 even. There's nothing wrong with that.
@@theshunnedBandersnatch but not to the degree that your little children need to know. there is LITERALLY no need for that? some things can remain private. there is zero benefit from letting their kids in. could have stayed in the bedroom and private.
@@marykay7878 there's no need for kink to be 100% private if is not explicit. You are right that the children should not be involved, this just reads as a couple that stumbled upon bdsm and don't really know how to do it properly
@theshunnedBandersnatch
Outside the bedroom is one thing (like roleplaying?) but it should not be 24/7 since there are times you need to snap out of it and act normally and a person can't consent 24/7.
@@marykay7878 I hadn't gotten to that part of the video--agreed that kids don't need to know about any of it. Weird that they do.
i find it so funny that his name is lazarus because my pet north american millipede is named lazarus and i was holding him while watching this
Is he the dominant or submissive in the relationship?
@@lestatbutler2675 they were holding him so i can only assume he's the submissive
@@lestatbutler2675 hes my only male millipede so he is the dominant man of the terrarium but he is very well behaved with me
Your pet WHAT.
@@sunnyandthechlo north american millipede 🐛
sam collins and his gf made a rlly interesting video about this! i agree with their statement that this seems like the couple’s way to have a “24/7 god-approved k!nk” however, i think its definitely less safe/healthy than most bdsm relationships
What vid was it?
Can’t find vid which is it?
@@semilorekaji-hausa2078 it's on their Outspoken podcast youtube channel
@@semilorekaji-hausa2078 i just saw these replies sorry haha - its on his channel “Outspoken” and its titled “Submissive Christian Wives who practice ‘Domestic Discipline’”
hearing that “aaalriiiiighty well hellooo sinners, how are ya” is such a great way to start my morning
🌇😁
"Neither of us enjoys this" jdkgmhmhmngnfbbfngn then don't do it??
I SWEAR THAT MAN ISN'T JUST A ..REDFLAG, HES A WHOLE DAMN "STOP" SIGN
He's a police barricade
Fr
He's freaking police lights bro oh my god emergency emergency
He is!
Point blank period 😂😂
My biggest concern with this is that the kids knowing about their relationship might end up in an abusive relationship and think it's normal and okay because that's the type of relationship their parents have
Those kids are gonna have some weeeeird therapy sessions a decade from now
So as someone who has been into kink for a very long time and also has been semi-active in IRL kink communities, I really want to leave a comment about this video regardless of if it's seen or not.
The thing about it is that their reason that it "isn't BDSM" is not true. I understand what they're saying- He is not a sadist, and she is not a masochist. I'm not sure that they're telling the TRUTH, but either way, that doesn't negate the fact that this is a form of kink.
A TON of kink is nonsexual. I believe that most 24/7 dynamics are sexual, but there is absolutely room for nonsexual 24/7. I'm a queer trans man and 24/7 is sort of an unreachable/unrealistic dream to me, the exception being that I personally really dislike the basis of it being gender; if anything, I prefer the opposite (the notion that men are inherently submissive and women are inherently dominant)- which is a form of roleplay, as both partners are aware that sex/gender doesn't actually determine how submissive or dominant you are, whether that be in the bedroom or in your personality.
As I've seen others say, they are clearly misguided in their practice, and I honestly believe that this is a couple who hasn't done enough research into what they're doing. I feel like she read some stuff on facebook about 1950s household type dynamics, decided she really liked it and wanted it, and got caught in an echo chamber as she formed her own ideas about what it is and should be like. They seem like they really don't want people to think it's kink because of some sort of stigma but that's what it is, point blank.
I didn't have a huge issue with it for the majority of the video- I don't think she's lying about fully consenting, I don't think he's lying about being introduced to it by her etc, but they need to reevaluate why they're doing this and research healthier practices.
My biggest issue, as most others', is the fact that they are teaching their children about it. That is disturbing and to me should be considered mistreatment at best and abuse at worst. I really think a social worker needs to come in and review the content that their kids have been shown and judge the situation since nobody online really can- we don't know what they're being told or what they're seeing. But yeah, every single person in the kink/BDSM community knows that you keep it private; nobody is allowed to share information or pictures of others without explicit consent to avoid contact with work, friends, and family- ESPECIALLY minors. Even if nothing sexually explicit is going on, if everybody keeps their clothes on and has no genital contact etc etc etc. It's not okay.
It's really disappointing for me to see that they are handling this in the way they are. Kink dynamics are accused of being abusive all the time by vanilla people- so that didn't really trigger any concern for me, surprisingly. You can have the most safe and sane practices and two enthusiastically consenting people, but if they tell their vanilla friends or family about it, they could absolutely have those people accuse the dom of being an abuser very quickly. He's not abusive to her, in my eyes. THEY are both abusive to their CHILDREN, and being irresponsible and probably forming more issues in their relationship that will hit them further down the line.
Kink is not bad, BDSM is not harmful, if you do it in a safe, sane, and consensual way. Remember- if only one person is consenting, that's not kink OR BDSM- It's just rape!
Thank you for typing all that out. I pretty much agree with you on all points. They definitely shouldn't be exposing and talking to their kids about it at this point. Like, I'd say possibly once the kids were older, like 16+ where they'd probably have come across mentions of kink stuff online and started picking up on a few things that seem different about how their parents interact vs most others. Basically give them a more in depth "sex talk" at that point. But idk :/ they definitely don't seem as educated as they should be on this dynamic, especially not well enough to clearly explain it to anyone else well
This Was a lovely well-thought-out comment. Thank you for sharing all of that knowledge! ❤
@@dangerxbadger2300 Thanks for reading :p I'm just a dork who writes long comments all the time but I feel like most of the time they even don't get read lol
Also a bunch of these ‘kinks’ are just misogyny in disguise
Brandy seems legit like the one leading it and keeping it going. Laz seemed compliant and going with it, but never seemed to take an active role in speaking on it, looked uncomfy with the abuse comments. When the interviewer asked 'how is this not abuse?' Laz looked to her to answer because he seems like he thinks it IS abuse, but she wants it, and he wants her happy.
That’s not how I interpreted the look. Brandy is saying it’s her idea, but if this really is an abusive situation, then that wouldn’t be uncommon. Victims will often speak on behalf of their abusers in defense of them. To me it looked like he was looking to her to defend his position.
I’m not saying what’s happening here is for sure abuse, but I wouldn’t necessarily believe what’s being said in situations similar to this.
I agree that he doesn’t enjoy it. He looks like he’s a bit uncomfortable with some of it but she wants this lifestyle? He does look at her exasperatedly a few times and she is the one who brought it to him.
Sure they could be playing it to look like she’s the one making this choice but his body language and personality support it. He’s not giving natural dominance and I wonder if it’s not HER who hangs up the signs? I need more info.
@@xpouii-3992 If this is a kink of hers, that would be common. It's easier to process wanting someone to spank you with a paddle to tears for reasons other than sexual gratification than it is to process hitting someone with a paddle until they cry, especially seeing the bruises and pain later. That actually messes with people who consent to being a top for these dynamics if there is no easing in process. The bottom might genuinely want it for their own reasons, but that doesn't make the top feel better if they weren't ready.
If this is abuse, that would also be maybe not super common, but it's a known tactic. It's like how cults operate where they suggest things to you so you feel like you are choosing it when really you were manipulated.
The only way to know is for her to maybe explore BDSM. She has some bizarre misconceptions about it that seem to come from media or something. The dynamic she wants, if she is the one who wants it, 1000% exists within BDSM. BDSM is not only funishment and fetishes.
I HATE that the kids are learning about this. Because the issue is that this is blurring the lines between a consensual relationship and an abusive one, and that line is already extremely thin if there is one. I highly doubt that this is giving the mom room to teach her kids how to spot red flags
I think that the worst part about this is that some guys would see this, and genuinely want this dynamic.
Like, this is so sad...
Do yall not know what BDSM is?
Some guys and gals
@@zeebird Right 😂
@@zeebird the problem is she is not stating that as bdsm/kink. and kinks should NOT be taught your kids.
@@zeebird you clearly don't, because they haven't shown ANY healthy BDSM practices they've put into place. If this IS bdsm, then it is some of the most toxic, unhealthy BDSM around, and ought to be called out as such.
Writing lines and timeout are the least sexy punishments I could possibly think of. Like what is going to do next, cut her screen time? Tell her he’s “disappointed, not angry?” They need a coach or something.
In all honesty, i have nothing against people who want to practice their kinks in private, as long as both parties consent it is perfectly fine. But what i don't think is fine, is to expose your own children to this type of stuff??? a 13 year old shouldn't even know what kink their parents practice behind closed doors.
No age should know what there parents kinks are, a 13 year old shouldn't be aware parents _have_ kinks
@@airacummins5076 I do though, I feel like I have a better understanding on everything in that realm than most people, even though I do VERY MUCH dislike the "don't kink shame" community since that's just their way of getting away with p3do, zoo and r3pe fetishes, I've seen so much of it
@sonichamburgerspecial692
Your pfp :0 Isn't that Rakan? It's rare finding YT comments of someone with a LOL champ picture
@@Aria__1700 OH NO I'm so sorry but it's not, it's confucius from clone high 😔
btw i love that you said "impulsive thoughts" instead of intrusive thoughts. thank you so much for getting that right like it genuinely made me so happy to see you just use it in normal conversation. i love your videos!!
Technically D/s isn’t gender-specific but the whole tradwife craze has basically fused it into that online now. There are plenty of Dominant women, submissive men and gay kink people, but like with everything they don’t get as much representation.
Also yeah involving the kids is icky I don’t think that’s chill at all because this isn’t tradwife this is literal BDSM and consenting adults should probably not just talk to their kids about it openly like that. Like wear your little harness o er your shirt to the mall or whatever but actually sitting down and EXPLAINING? Big big yikes no no no.
"I don't think we could be happy without this dynamic" girl just get a divorce
right like if ur entire marriage revolves around what u do in bed… give up
Some people choose to live in the lifestyle 24/7 …which is a choice. But having the rules displayed in your house is WILD. And not calling it what it is …which is BDSM …is also wild.
"DD and BDSM isn't the same because i don't like to be spanked." WOOOOOW. A lot to unpack there. Spanking in BDSM isn't always because someone likes it. It can be used as punishment. Punishment and impact play are not always the same thing. The fact that their children witness this is honestly vile. VILE. Keep your s3x games in the bedroom.
It seems absolutely terrible that they let their kids know what's going on. This 100% reads like a kink and if that's the case, their kids shouldn't know a thing about it.
At first I didn’t necessarily think it was an issue. It reminded me of the dynamic in one of my favorite movies Secretary. But when she said they don’t enjoy and discuss it in front of their children….yikes
Yeah.
i cannot imagine working 40 hrs a week to come home to a man that tells me to sit in the corner and EXPECTS me to listen to him 😭
The children should have no involvement whatsoever in what the parents decide to do in their relationship…especially THIS. Even though they say it “works” for them, it’s not healthy for the children to see or know about. What would they even learn from this?? Ugh it makes me so mad it’s so irresponsible.
The closing of the door behind them really scares me.
This couple is just a huge slap in the face of every single dom and or sub. You do this stuff in BDSM if you both consent to it, BUT:
- You talk about it first and set boundaries
- it's something that happens in a "scene" so you actively start and end this dynamic. It has a timer to it
- it doesn't have to be sexual but often it is
- it's for both partners to let go of their usual role in day-to-day life and just play out a different reality
- couples who do this actually live as what we perceive as normal most of the time but doing scenes they are not their usual self
- if one of the two people wants to stop they can say that ALL THE TIME and the other person stops
This is not normal and highly abusive
Yes yes yes!!! And aftercare is a MUST, making her deal with sub drop on her own is awful. And literally never involve unconsenting people in your kink, especially KIDS. Gross.
This seems like a 24/7 dynamic which is a bit different from standard scene dynamics. I'm not into it myself, it's just too much. The aftercare and mushy stuff tends to alter to fit the more intense dynamic but they don't disappear. The time limits do. Sometimes even safewords do. But you don't start here. This type of dynamic can and should take a long time to work into for both partners. It requires too much trust and knowledge of the other person to just jump in.
Also it shouldn’t be rooted in misogyny
WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!
IM UP IM UPP 😭😭😭
Boo
I'M AWAKE
IM UP
IM WIDE AWOKE
"How is this not abuse?"
"Because we both hate it!"
As a fan of this channel and someone in the bdsm community, I just wanted to clarify a few things. If you’re interested in learning more about bdsm, you can check out Evie Lupine’s videos.
BDSM stands for bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism, and masochism. Not all BDSM practices are sexual. I would say this couple would fall under the non sexual categories. I think that’s what they meant by they’re not BDSM
BDSM is a spectrum. Some people only practice it during sex. Others incorporate it into every aspect of their lives, which is called TPE, total power exchange. Many fall somewhere in between
Female domination and male submission is also popular. However, you don’t see that many femdom couples because there are very few female doms in comparison to male subs in any area. So there are fewer couples doing that.
Not every BDSM dynamic incorporate punishment, but for folks that do, writing lines and corner times are popular.
As to what the sub gets out of a dynamic, it’s highly personal. For a lot of people, having rules put everything in the open. Whereas in a typical relationship there may be things that are unsaid, which can cause arguments. In a healthy BDSM dynamic, both parties come up with the rules together and can discuss if the rules don’t work. A BDSM relationship, if done right, takes a lot of communication on boundaries, and consenting on every detail
Typically people in the community are very against having kids know about their dynamics, so I thought that was a little questionable.
Also it seems very misogynistic
I'm very much into the D/s dynamic in a relationship, but here's my take on why this bothered me. Both people in the relationship say that it's consentual and that they have benefitted from the dynamic, but that the "discipline" isn't something that they enjoy. So I'm automatically thinking 🤔 what the hell is the point then? And there was a post from someone on her fb group that mentioned sub-drop; which is basically when subs experience the D/s dynamic but with no aftercare or affection from their Dom and they end up feeling abused. Which is a very real thing that can and does happen in D/s relationships. I myself have always preferred the role of sub, and I've had (mostly) good experiences. I have had some trust issues where I felt like a girlfriend wouldn't act as a good Dom and I wasn't willing to engage in a D/s relationship with them. This couple really makes me take a step back and I can't help but share the same concerns that family and friends have voiced. Something else that really alarms me is that the kids are aware.
Happy last pride day pookie, also “I DON’T”
The kids should NOT know about this!! They will not understand and this will form their ideals on relationships. And they don’t get it like they should. They shouldn’t know about this. That is insane!!! Those poor kids. I hope her daughter doesn’t take abuse from someone because she thinks “he loves her in the end.”
Not only did they both say casually that it was her idea but also look at who was comfortable and doing a lot of talking vs who was uncomfortable and quiet...and she's active in that facebook group promoting this lifestyle...just looking at how uncomfortable he looked and how confident she was, if he's forcing her then they both should win awards for this performance imo.
Yeah the racism is real- based on their behavior and what they said if anyone is being coerced into doing BDSM here it's him -but because he's a Black man and the dominant of course he MUST be the abuser /s- it's such a vanilla radfem understanding of abuse versus kink
I bet she thinks that cis women can't be abusive towards men/ women / anyone and that doms can't be abused in a BDSM relationship either. Just as a survivour it pisses me off hearing people within the LGBTQIA community repeat this abuser rhetoric of "women can't consent to bdsm because I think it's icky and if they get abused well all bdsm is abuse anyway so what did they expect they consented to it lol". Like it's not helpful to survivors who do experience abuse within kink to come forward only to be told they were stupid and asking for it by doing 'icky kink'
@@vykcryptidIn no way did she say or has any one ever said and been taken seriously that women can't consent to kink 😂 have you met women?! 😂 The reason they're talking about the dynamic here it's because she is the one receiving all the "punishments" so naturally they are talking about her safety, I haven't seen anyone implying that she was forced into it but have seen the ones being concerned about whether she has the ability to withdraw consent within this dynamic. If he was the sub granted there wouldn't be the same level of concern but there would be some concern if it seemed this not thought out. Like regardless of all of that both are wrong for their children knowing ANYTHING
'Daddy Knows Best' is basically the weird knock-off version of 'Mother Knows Best'.
Yeah.
i read “mother knows best” as mrbeast. im done
when will we free ourselves from the shackles that are men
When your husband gives you the keys?
/j
exactly, what the f is this? why are women acting like they're literal slaves?
I think they bought these shackles together. Have mercy.
As soon as we free ourselves from the shackles of capitalism, comrade. /hj
@@one-onessadhalf3393 Why did that give me Animal Farm flashbacks, please 😭
As someone who is in a marriage with similar dynamics, one big reason someone would want to go through punishments or rules they "don't like" is because it provides a sense of comfort and helps you connect with your innerchild. It also helps you feel like you don't have to be in control of everything, not even your own actions, because someone else is there to make sure you're "being good", hope this helps!
Fair, but I'm willing to bet you and your spouse have a ton of communication around consent, boundaries, safe words and engage in after care, none of which this couple do.
@@dangerxbadger2300 that you would be correct about, I just wanted to shed some light on why someone might willingly participate in punishments and rules that they otherwise don't enjoy
But when he, the “HOH” effs up.. does HE also face some sort of punishment?
Also, have a safe flight! 🩵
If the HOH in Big Brother were allowed to do this......🤔🤔🤭🤭
All I can say is that the website listed on the ‘rules’ is scary af when you look at the content and see how scary deep it gets.
Edit: oh my god they have kids
Edit again holy shit: if they wouldn't be happy together without the very controlled environment they probably shouldn't be together
there is nonsexual kink practice from what i know about the community, but its generally widely accepted by kinksters that you should never be in those roles 24/7. its not healthy to be roleplaying 24/7. for all i know they dont practice 24/7 and its just a misleading video but the microsoft 360 printouts in the frames? girl its not looking good
That was my thought, like I'm not surprised, but also, it's also concerning?
@@electromagneticIt’s concerning to me as well.
What scares me is that I'm over halfway through the vid and I've not heard SAFEWORDS or AFTERCARE mentioned *AT ALL*
i was gonna defend them till they said they both hate it what is going on 😭
edit: AND THEY BROUGHT THE KIDS INTO IT WHATTT
Every time I see one of those “tradwife influencers” I’m blown away that anyone believes that she’s a tradwife. If she was, she sure as hell wouldn’t be posting stuff on the internet and looking pretty to thousands of men. She wouldn’t even have access to a phone. Especially when he’s not home. She wouldn’t be putting on makeup when he’s not around unless he left bruises on her. It’s not real. None of it is real.
My first marriage was “traditional” and the whole time I hated my life, was trying to leave, and I snuck to the doctors for birth control so I wouldn’t accidentally have any children by him.
PS, please consider; The Republican Party want my first marriage for everyone with NO access to birth control.
Thank you for saying "impulsive thoughts." As someone with OCD, it's nice to see someone know the difference
Help, I saw the thumbnail and i was like 'are you *sure* thats a husband and not a kidnapper?'
It’s a lot more complicated than you make it seem. I was in a power exchange relationship for a couple of years and although my particular situation was u healthy, there are extremely safe and consensual to enter into these types of dynamics. It can be really cathartic and create a safe space for all sorts of people. It is trust beyond anything else in the world.
First, I never heard about something like this before. For me it feels like the wife brought this idea forth and then it got out of hand. I don't believe they are truly happy with this, they read this book and now fear that when they don't follow this lifestyle, they will divorce. This relationship is destined to crash at some point. I just can't think that this works forever.
8:51 that took me out 😭 daddy really does need a graphic design class
This just doesn't seem like a fair dynamic.
Like the fact that Laz doesn't get any of the punishments that Brandy gets, and the fact that Brandy is doing all the housework while he maybe does the grilling.
Plus why was this the automatic conclusion for their relationship not working?
It'd be one thing if they mentioned couples councilling but they don't, it just wasn't working and then this happened.
Plus they don't even seem like they're enjoying this all that much, Laz looks uncomfortable the whole time and Brandy looks like she's being held at gunpoint.
Also there's not really any mention of aftercare.
All of this seems less like a BDSM thing and more like Brandy having unresolved trauma that she's not working through.
Yall you’re not gonna tell me this is just domestic bdsm kink stuff. It’s language being co-opted to cover up abusive behavior, it happens /all the time/.
You also have to be careful about who you’re subjecting to your kinks even if that’s what this is, so if they’re at all doing this in front of their kids, it’s not okay. Also also the thing about BDSM scenes is there’s usually an end point to the scene :I
(The good thing is if this is at all TLC or something it’s probably completely fake.)
that’s genuinely what they say when it is a situation like that “oh its kink” and now you MUST accept it because its “kink”. a lot of weird shit is being portrayed as kink..and i genuinely think theres a fine line between abuse and kink.
This is a dynamic that can be practiced in kink, but based on how it seemed in the video, they're going about it ALL wrong. To the point where it's abuse hiding behind the label of kink. This is a dom/sub dynamic, but it is NOT healthy. They're missing a lot of elements like aftercare, breaks, safewords, and it seems like the discussions they had about it didn't go all that in depth about their limits and comfortability either.
Edit: forgot to mention not involving their kids being an important thing they're missing.
Edit 2:
Oh, and she said neither of them like it. They aren't even enjoying this.
@@mingiinterludethere is not a fine line between kink and abuse. Kink is consensual, and either partner can back out at anytime without fear of retribution. Abuse is nonconsensual, actively hurts and terrorizes the victim who cannot back out whenever they please.
@@OpossumOnTheMoon i was adding onto what OC said. you just extended the point of my comment..so thanks ig.
@@mingiinterlude I don’t get the addition of your last line, “I genuinely think there’s a fine line between abuse and kink”. Like I know you mention abusers hiding behind the kink label, but then that’s not kink it’s abuse. So what’s the fine line in your eyes? (Genuinely just confused here)
"ran math class like the fucking navy" oh boy did I get war flashbacks to my sophomore year math teacher
I feel like not enough people are focusing on the fact that they said the husband doesn't like it either. My question is this: Is the assumption that he's lying? Did they make that part up? Because people are saying he's a red flag but it's presented in a way that makes it seem he'd rather not even be doing this. It doesn't seem healthy for either party despite being worse for the wife. Unless I missed something and they did totally make that part up.
Here’s my theory. People kept telling Brandi “what a good wife you will be“ and she didn’t realize they were referencing a song.
the spoon/spatula reminds me of "whatever daddy wants, daddy gets😠" ✋️😭💀
I don't care who does what behind closed doors if you both gave consent- but to do that in front of your CHILDREN to willingly hurt your wife in front of them, to willingly let your husband spank you in front of them. You shouldn't be allowed to have children, as someone who grew up in a unstable household- i promise you your children do not see two consenting adults with boundaries and communication- all they see is daddy hitting mommy or Daddy yelling at mommy- and that fucking pisses me off that those children have to witness her being hit, or witness her being belittled- and i hate that they'll grow up and think thats normal because they parents are grooming them to think abuse is normal, while their dynamic might not be abusive their children might get into a relationship where their partner hits them instead of communicating and they'll be "fine" with it because oh- dad hit mom all the time so this must be the same thing- THEIR CHILDREN THEY DONT UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF BDSM AND THEY SHOULDN'T- because lets be honest if this isn't bdsm then its abuse
it sounds like DDLG to me, she just isn't age playing as obviously as others do - but the types of "consequences" she receives seem like age play in my opinion.
Ew
8:20
OMG, FINALLY SOMEONE WHO SAYS IT RIGHT. As someone with intrusive thoughts, I hate it when people use that term incorrectly.THANK YOU
As long as it’s safe, sane, and consensual, this is fine. What’s NOT fine is that their KIDS are exposed to it. CHILDREN can not CONSENT to being exposed to your kink (even if you don’t believe it’s a kink.) When you expose CHILDREN to this stuff, you are setting them up to be ABUSED because they are TOO YOUNG to understand or be exposed to BDSM.
"spank your spouse, avoid divorce"? there it is, the true form of this dynamic is really just misogyny. it's so funny how misogyny likes to hide behind a lot of facade and pretends that it's something else, but it always rears its ugly head and gives away what it truly is, every single time 😂
also this comment isn't directed at the couple. it's directed at the book and the dynamic that it's promoting
IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE HUGE PILES OF PACKAGED STUFF IN EVERY ROOM?????? for the apocalypse????? wtf, detergent, tp, drinks, wtf??
I think they have a lot of kids plus times is tough bulk buying does save some money
It’s weird bc it’s like they went into a kink dynamic without really doing research into it or talking to people in the community… and they don’t even seem like they enjoy doing it….
I hate the fact that so much of kink is just misogyny
Can you have a 24/7 d/s relationship? Yes. It's just the fact that she said neither of them enjoyed it that makes me question what tf they're doing, yk?
THE SPEED at which I clicked on the notification
just wanted to say your hair looks so good like omg
I feel like they just have a dom/sub bdsm relationship (in the community certain relationships expand "out of the bedroom" i.e. one person completely gives up control of their life to the other person). the uncomfortable part is about them being straight and therefore enforcing gender stereotypes. consent and constant communication is key in these relationships and truly only them can know where the abuse line is. the fact that they seem to include other people in it inadvertently as spectators tho, even the fucking KIDS, now that's crazy and absolutely unhinged