@@CoffeeMe1987yeah 😢 I watched the entire series and Emily just goes crazy at some point. It becomes a cycle of you can’t even tell who’s more toxic anymore
@@elsvaughn7959could be the dude for letting it happen. He has agency, he’s grown. If my mom tried to pull that shit I would simply never speak to her again lmao you will not disrespect me and my partner in that way.
The mother fully expected the girlfriend to get mad and storm off, leaving her son with the blind date. Her face was pure confusion when that didn't happen.
Yes, Wagma has some dignity and self respect. Wagma might want an arranged marriage but not with someone who is clearly in love with someone else. Plus now she has seen how Layla behaves, she is 100% out.
To be honest? At that point, it's not worth it. I was in a 3y relationship with a toxic mother in law (and her son xD) and it's not worht it. I strongly belive that if your partner choose to have his family in his life, you are marrying into that family, meaning - they gonna be part of your life. If the family is toxic and manipulative, that's gonna be your life and in my opinion, it's not worth it. No man (or woman, or persone) is worht this much hassle, this much stress and pain. My current husband has an amazing family (on top of him being a top tier man) and his mother is just as cute and loving as a mother should be (even if she is bit crazy sometimes xD) and did I married with 35? Yes. But so what. It's better to be single and unbothered then in relationship with your toxic mother in law
He's not really a "Mama's boy" he's just a young man with an emotionally abusive mama. The cringiest episodes are the ones where the men intentionally prioritize the whims of their mothers over the needs and desires of their girlfriends/wives and expect them to accept that.
Yeah. Tho after 3 years I would have hoped he would have been able to get enough help from friends, partner, therapy etc. to know his relationship with his mother is abusive and unhealthy. I can see why Emily is pissed, but I also think this dude needs help to escape his abusive mother.
The fun part is, that many of the men you describe as the negative are also that way because of some decades of emotionally abusive mums. They just react differently, but are almost always in the exact same place reason wise.
@@lethfuil Gods, emotionally abusive parents are the WORST. I did think it’s a combo of the abuse and not healing from it, or having resources or acceptance to heal from it.
Wagma absolutely left and immediately texted her friends “yall are never gonna believe this” 😂😂😂 omg poor woman I don’t even know what I’d do in her place
Yeah if my parent or someone just straight up said they’d never give my partner a chance I’d be done. I just get up and leave with my partner. Cause what’s left to say after that? They’ve made their intentions clear.
@@alanarama I know, after all it was arranged, so the parents must have agreed under false pretenses, so her mom and dad were probably waiting to hear from her after the "date", and imagine their surprise when she tells them. "yeah, it didn't go very well, turns out the man was in a relationship already 😬" and they're just like WTF???!!!
@elaexplorer how do they mess up spaghetti? I made some by boiling them in the microwave one time (didn't have any other option) and they tasted amazing
My ex-bf mother was emotionally manipulating him, and since the father left, she was using her son as a replacement (only emotional incest thank Dog) to the point she refused therapy and treatment after her stroke, becuse her being helpless would mean that he will stay with her all the time... It was really sick. Also, she hated me duh.
@@Sleipnirseightthere are *definitely* mothers like this all over in the real world. And they’re still not really actors, these *are* those people. The situation is manipulated, but it’s still people doing these things and being abusive. Which is why I loathe reality tv.
I fully agree with this and its the reason why I never do ultimatums. Because literally you are putting your partner in a position where you're threatening them to break up if they don't do something. It could be as stupid as "its me or your Playstation 5". The fact that you want your partner to give something up to be with you is toxic, threatening and is more indicative on how you think your relationship can be broken otherwise. And if your relationship can be broken over something, that means you no longer have that relationship anymore if you need to threaten your partner into doing something. The relationship is already over.
Agreed I’ve been cheated on before, we can tell bc they start acting weird. Almost as if they unintentionally started sabotaging the relationship making it harder and harder. Never again will I date a person who needs female validation to survive. It’s exhausting.
So we're ignoring that the mother was straight-up racist? How could her wanting her Afghan son to marry an Afghan girl and his Korean girlfriend to marry a Korean man not racist? How is it anything other than racist?
It is discriminatory but racism is not the right term for it, its more of a cultural thing because some traditional and orthodox and close minded asian parents from various cultures don't wanna miss on the prestige of showing off their daughter-in-law (most cases) or son-in-law in their cultural spaces through excuse of festivals and cultural rituals!!! Its superficial and in 21st century mostly a very close mindset but that's the reality in primarily Asia! Marriage holds different value in different cultures although obsessing your life around your son/daughter's partner is something a lot of parents are infamous for throughout cultures and religions and other man-made sects!!!! In India a lot of arrange marriages are casteist and there's always misogyny involved from either of the sides or both! I don't respect arrange marriage tbh, almost all my siblings and cousins are...its hardly about culture, hindu scriptures themselves have multiple forms of marriages (some would even be illegal now), its basically a way for insecure parents to assign "respect" to their social bubble on behalf of their kid's lives!!!!!!! ITS NONSENSICAL AT BEST AND DANGEROUS AT THE WORST!!!!
I've been in a relationship for 8 years now, and for those 8 years, I've had to pretend that my boyfriend is actually my girlfriend around my boyfriends parents, because my partner is transgender and his parents are extremely transphobic, so they don't want their "daughter" to be with someone who validates him or supports him, which I do. I've had to do that at the request of my boyfriend, because he wanted to stay with me, and his mother is also very controlling and toxic and would definitely disapprove of me being with him. He's almost done moving out of his mother's house, and his mother still thinks I think my partner is a cisgender female. She'll realize I don't think my boyfriend is a girl, and I never did once he moves out for good. There's not much she can do about me using his preferred name, and pronouns once he moves out, and we don't plan on talking to her ever again after that. I feel comfortable talking about this publicly because I don't care if she somehow finds out. She's not going to change either of our minds just because she disapproves of me once we've cut ties with her. ( He doesn't mind me sharing this either ) Not only is it incredibly fucked up for parents to control their partners life and relationships, it's pretty much futile once their child becomes an adult. That's why moving out is so important for people in relationships with controlling parents. Romeo and Juliet would have lived happily ever after if they could have separated from their families.
I’m so sorry that your partner is going through this, but it’s good that you’re there for him to lean on. I’m glad you’re both going no-contact with his parents because they probably won’t ever change nor accept him. It’s such a sad situation, but at least you have each other and the rest of your lives :) best of luck to you both!
Good for you and especially good for your boyfriend!!! The most important thing for him is to build up complete financial independence, even separate from you, so that no matter what happens, he never has to go back to his parents for help (and therefore be subject to financial control/abuse).
GOOD. I’m so glad you two are able to escape that abuse. And also glad you respected not putting him in danger, as shitty and painful as misgendering and such can be-since causing a ton of friction in a place where a trans person would be endangered from you standing up for them is sometimes just NOT worth it. Sometimes you just gotta now to the bigots long enough to escape.
Cultural norms don't usually include being inhospitable, rude, and downright cruel. Arranged marriages aside, you don't get your son to bring his girlfriend so you can delight in her devastation.
"What's going on?" Emily asks. It's racism, Emily. Laila wants her son to marry an Afghani girl, and no one else is an option. Even if Wagma isn't there, Laila would look for another one.
@@Elliotshmelliot You can have mixed emotions about situations like this. You can be both embarrassed, shocked, afraid and angry about a scenario like this. Which he clearly feels right now. But, tbh this mother is selfish and she does not care about her son's feelings. He's not like these other Mama's Boys because you can tell he's close to his mom but he's clearly upset by this and defends Emily. Something the other Mama Boys haven't done.
At first I thought Emily was overreacting about Shekev's lack of emotion, then I thought about how long their relationship has been and changed my mind. Three years of having to deal with Layla, who wants nothing to do with her, must be torture. I hope Emily, Shekev and Washma find successful, fulfilling relationships
@@Rakeeeeeemit’s not that easy to deal with trauma like this, and it seems to me that Shekev’s doing what he can emotionally manage. the secret to a healthy relationship isn’t leaving your partner after inconveniences, it’s working with them to the best of your ability. if it becomes too much, then please leave them. but just from this video, it seems like Shekev’s trying and (imo) Emily did indeed overreact.
@@nataliar6419 Agreed. I feel like we all need to understand where "The mama's boy" may be coming from. Chances are, the "mama's boy" in question may have endured years and years of manipulation, gaslighting and depending on the mother, abuse. It may be hard for them to say no to their mothers because of this. It may make them feel nervous, scared, put on the spot, etc. I personally don't see Shekev as a bad person to be in a relationship with, just a person who has an overbearing mother, and a hard time detaching himself from her. And maybe, he could use someone to help him.
Emily’s reaction is 100% justified! But while she had been dealing with Layla for 3 years, he’s had to deal with her his entire life. Some people have loss the ability to react to their parents audacity. Layla probably hasn’t tried this exact tactic before but I doubt this is the first time she’s tried to blatantly sabotage this relationship or past ones
18:59 That outside scene was definitely set up by production. She was told to get mad at him about it because it needed to be made to look like he really was a momma's boy.
Married a man whos mother was the same and wanted him with a good traditional Portuguese woman, We are divorced and he still cant find or keep a woman.
These 3 are a trip and a half, my bags were packed though lol! I would just say I wouldn’t give Shekeb too much credit, honestly at different times they are all questionable 😬
@@MadisonApitznooo let me live in my fantasy where he was actually working to undo years of harmful parenting and that he was coming out of it a better person... 😩😩😩
Recently, I was disappointed when I found out some lesbian RUclipsrs I watched were TERFs, so I went on Reddit to see other people’s suggestions on lesbian RUclipsrs who weren’t and were fun to watch. As a lesbian, myself, there’s not many I can find on RUclips that discuss lgbt topics and topical issues or entertainment reactions, etc that I felt represented by, but I saw someone mention to come over to this channel and check it out because Annamarie was inclusive and entertaining and I’m really glad I did. Subscribed and have been binging these videos. Quickly becoming one of my favorite RUclipsrs!
Can I ask what channel it was so I can unsubscribe from them if they're a group I watch as well? I've historically found out about creators being crappy way after everyone else because I don't use social media, and I'd rather not be accidentally following terfs.
Arranged marriage simply means someone introduces a potential spouse to you. The second you're asked to meet or marry someone you don't want to it's forced marriage
Im a 26-year-old man, and my mum was a toxic boy mum. I've got a lot of trauma from these toxic traits that I've been working through, and I'm so grateful that I stood by my wife and started to question my mum's behaviour many years ago. I am healthily at an arm's reach of my mum, and since forcing that space, I've never been so happy with my wife
11:21 This is such a South Asian boy mom thing to say. I am not even fazed by this. wow As a South Asian woman myself, this was so difficult to continue watching. Hard relate. Leila is not going to change. A broken marriage and three years of relationship later, the boundary has not been set, and honestly, likely, it will never be set, no matter how much the guy tries. The mom sounds like a typical "sasu ma" (mother-in-law) from Desi soap operas, and such boy moms rarely change their tactics. The couple's whole life will be a struggle, regardless of if the son marries his mom's choice of woman. I have seen this happen in my own home, with friends and families, my mom. Emily should run and never look back.
Dont let your in-laws treat you bad. If your partner isnt gonna stand up for you but insists on maintaining a close relationship with them, they arent worth it
As someone who tends to bottle up ones emotions and tends to not 'react properly' in certain situations like funerals and such, I feel for this man don't pressure him let the man breath for like two seconds he left the restaurant 2 seconds ago he needs to process. He left the restaurant and to me at least that shows that he's chosen his gf over his mom already.
Exactly my thoughts, he’s had to shove aside his emotions and reactions for his whole life to keep his emotionally abusive mother from blowing up on him. The fact he was able to do anything against his mother is impressive. That doesn’t mean his gf doesn’t have the right to be pissed when he doesn’t show more anger though
That confrontation was staged for good TV. There’s not really any actual tension because they have to get multiple takes. Gotta see through the artificial stress they add in editing and production
Shekeb's past failed marriage was indeed an arranged one, naturally set up by Leila. It's insane to me that he did already try marrying that Afgani woman Leila wanted him to marry but it didn't work, and yet Leila is just insistent on trying the same thing again. Unreal
I love Wagma for just straight up being like "this is weird I gotta go" and walking out. I feel like Leila respected Wagma and maybe having her express how inappropriate the interaction was at least a little enlightening. It's clear she sees her son as incompetent and Emily as malicious, so having the person who was supposed to be on her side criticize her is important.
Honestly, Shekeb, Laila, and Emily have been the most entertaining people I’ve ever seen on television. My partner & I are constantly referencing them.
emilys reaction is completely justified and honestly i would do A LOT more than she did. SHE HAS BEEN WITH HIM FOR THREE YEARS!!! the patience this woman has is incredible
It's sad for Shekeb, but makes me so glad for Emily. Shekeb clearly isn't in a place where he's ready to make the changes to get out from under his mother's thumb, and Emily needed to step away years ago. I'm glad she's out of that situation.
I've seen this. Washma and Jakeeb actually start going on little friend dates and never tell Emily. Which friend dates are fine but to not tell your other half?
My in-laws are hyper Catholic, and while my, now wife, and I were still dating, they took her on a "family cruise". Turns out, they also invited their friends similarly aged son who was going to seminary school and literally tried bartering with his parents in front of them about marriage dowry. Even outside of cultures where arranged marriages are the norm, this stuff unfortunately happens all the time.
As someone who HAS had to cut off contact with my mom I totally get his reaction here. I really wish Emily had given him 24 hours to collect his thoughts. Her reaction is totally understandable and I don't blame or judge her for it. Also, I don't think it was super helpful, she was repeatedly putting him on the spot while he was still literally in shock. I don't think Emily recognized that Shekeb had also been completely blindsided and was still processing what had even happened. It sounds like he maybe has a pattern of not reacting in a way that Emily would like to see, and this maybe to her seemed the same. Maybe he has repeatedly felt stuck at choosing between his mother and his girlfriend. I have so much sympathy for him, he really does seem to care for Emily and understand that his mother is the issue, and also, like any human, cutting of the person who raised you and that the world has taught you to always stay connected to, is not something that can be done in an instant.
That’s exactly what I thought. Her reaction is a few hours from now at home kind of conversation not a it just happened kind of conversation. She putting him on the spot while he still is confused, I also don’t think it’s fair that she didn’t think his reaction was enough. The first words out of his mouth were “what is this” and “this is not okay” like he immediately told the mom that this is not okay he just didn’t get angry and throw a tantrum
i watched the show, and shekeb often did choose his mother over emily and disregarded her feelings, this was emily’s final straw almost so her reaction is understandable. like yes she should’ve perhaps given him more time but she’s had enough and after three years of dating, wanting him to finally make a choice is valid of her
"You're too calm!" The man is clearly deeply upset, hurt, and angry, not everybody gets louder the angrier they are. What do you want from him? A screaming match with his mother who will just call him a bad son for it? Screaming at you, which you're just going to go "Why are you screaming at me?" Flailing and wailing? In public? On camera? Justice for her but justice for him too. He was just deeply betrayed and both him and the woman he loves seriously insulted by his own mother, and then immediately attacked by the partner he was defending.
I heard it stands for "The Learning Channel" and used to be actually educational, and all you "learn" from it now is how badly everyone featured needs mental health help and to not be on a tv show 💀
i feel SO bad for wagma she clearly didn’t know what was going on. she looked so confused and imagine how painfully awkward this would be. honestly justice for wagma
Bro Washna had the tightest smile I've ever seen at this dinner. She really doesn't want to be put on the spot like this, I have no clue what I'd do in this situation.
Ultimatums no, boundaries yes. And they can look similar and be easy to confuse with each other. But ultimatums are about controlling the actions of others, whereas boundaries have to be about your actions. So you can say, “I feel disrespected in this relationship, and I can’t do it any more. I can’t deal with your mom any more, and I need to remove myself from this situation where I constantly feel threatened by her. You get to make your own decisions, but I can’t take that anymore, and if you can’t or won’t stand up to her, I need to leave.” Which is similar to and yet different from, “You are going to stand up to her, it’s me or her. You have to choose.” Ultimatums are more combative and about controlling others; boundaries are about removing yourself from untenable circumstances.
The line between an ultimatum and a boundary is often really fuzzy. Id consider your quote an ultimatum as well because it is still telling someone that it's either you or them. Ultimatums are sometimes about controlling others, but they're also sometimes about having a boundary you have established crossed over and over again and needing to set the line clearly in stone.
Sometimes a boundary turns into an ultimatum when someone keeps breaking the boundary. You have to follow through with the natural consequences of breaking boundaries which is refusing to spend more time with that person
My dad was originally going to be in an arranged marriage, so was his sisters and brother. He didn't want to be in an arranged marriage and be married to someone he might not even love. He told his parents (my grandparents) that he doesn't want to be in one. His parents understood and now, he isn't in an arranged marriage, he is in a marriage he wants to be in. My aunts (my dad's sisters) aren't married to anyone because they never wanted to and my uncle (my dad's brother) is married to someone that my grandfather slightly doesn't like but is still supportive of the marriage. That is what Shekeb's mom should have done, just accepting that Shekeb doesn't want to marry a woman she likes. Man, I feel bad for Shekeb, Emily and Wagma.
You just know Wagma went home and told her mom everything! Like behavior like Laila's is so weird that her parents most likely wont entertain another discussion
I can get the frustration, but demanding him to make a choice is brutal, he's obviously under his mother's hold in a way that's psychologically entrapping, and taxing. If anything, maybe seeing a psych professional could help -and also I understand the being calm, it's how some people deal with being upset, and it was already tremendous for him to walk away from his mother and choose his girlfriend so frontally in this occasion. Not that I don't feel for the girl too. Obviously the lunch was painfully awkward, and the mother's behavior is hurtful. She has known he had issues with his mother for three years, and it is a long time when you'd like to just enjoy your boyfriend's presence peacefully. But I'm just saying he can't just flip a switch because his mother has conformed his brain since childhood to create a nest for herself in it.
He could have at least started de-programming though. He is just allowing someone to disrespect his partner… so he doesn’t deserve one. Seek out help any year between 1 and 3
Seeing a therapist won't really fix the issue if he's still living at his mom's house. Therapists are useful for helping abused people gain the ability to leave, but they have to actually LEAVE of their own accord. Seems like they had the funds and time to have him move out. His mom had disrespected Emily since day 1, so I totally understand why she was putting her foot down here.
That’s definitely true, but I don’t think it’s fair to expect Emily to just keep tolerating that behavior from his mother, especially not after she’s already put up with this for three years. Constantly being treated like that by her partner’s mother cannot be good for her, and I think it’s completely fair for her to say “look, if this is going to continue happening, I can’t be in this relationship anymore.” If staying in this situation is going to make her miserable and it doesn’t look like anything is going to change, I think ending the relationship is not only justified but is probably the right decision.
my first instinct was to feel like Emily was being a little unfair to him outside because walking out with her was probably a big step for him, but on second thought, he really just sat back and let her carry that whole conversation with the mom and explaining to her why it was wrong. hopefully this is a wake up call for him, but right now he's just waiting for a different woman to tell him what to do. if he had been the one to say let's go talk, or even said let me talk to my mom for a minute before she got fed up enough to leave, she probably would've been calmer.
Confused why Emily gets mad at him so immediately, I thought it was cool that she was assertive to his mom though I just kinda think we forgot how much he’s the victim of his parents behaviour because he literally wasn’t raised to stand up for himself or set boundaries
Yes but let's remember this has been a 3 YEAR relationship. We've only seen just one of the likely many incidents his mom has caused. How much longer can Emily wait for him to establish boundaries and protect her from his mother's behavior.
@@InternetsPedestrian I actually didn’t remember this was a 3 year relationship, I guess she is speaking more from a place of exhaustion with the whole dynamic and not just frustration at this one incident
As @InternetPedestrian said, this is likely a pattern that has been ongoing for the majority of their relationship, judging by his mom. However, in my opinion, it seems like Emily is not acknowledging that Shekeb was also blindsided and that cutting off your mother, even if you want to, and know it is the right and healthy thing to do, is not an easy task. She is within her rights to set that boundary, and also, she could have given Shekeb 24 hours just to even collect his thoughts after what happened. They were both in shock and Emily was lashing out, Shekeb was surprisingly cool under pressure, though honestly, it may have just been stunned shock more than anything. It is a true shame that both (or all three if you include the date) were put into this horrible situation when they at least outwardly appear to care deeply about each other, and it would be an awful shame that three years could be thrown away because things were said/done in the heat of the moment.
Because not once in 3 years has her partner stood up for her. Her frustration is completely justified. Besides, they probably had a conversation about this after they calmed down… I hope
A 3 year relationship for her a lifetime of dealing with it for him. He needs therapy and to set boundaries for sure but it’s always easier said then done to cut out a family member that has been an influence in your life since day one.
You definitely need to watch more of this couple then. Emily gets a little ridiculous as time goes on with like being demanding of things like rings and specific living arrangements. I don't like anyone in this relationship.
I mean, she should have absolutely just dumped him instead, but I'd start getting ridiculous too if my relationship had been going on for that long and my boyfriend was still doing things like inviting the mother he knows hates me to our Valentines date. I totally get how frustrated Emily was getting and how unfair this whole situation was for her.
This clip is crazy, BUT YOU GOTTA DO THE CLIP WHEN IT'S MOM'S BIRTHDAY Mom saying her whole birthday was ruined, threatening her life when Shakeb walks out with Emily you gotta add to this or better yet, go back to Matt, he's with a whole new girl and his mom showed up at her work to interrogate her!!! there is so much more tea to spill
I hate that some parents think theirs no breaking point, this woman thinks her son is always gonna be on a leash, but one day he’ll wise up and get her out of his life.
I am having the most insane Mandela effect I could have SWORN the intro was "how the HELL are ya" and IT'S NOT AND IM LOSING MY MIND WHY DO I SO VIVIDLY REMEMBER THE INTRO HAVING AN EXTRA WORD
Arranged marriages these days are a LOT different than it was in the past. My grandparents literally met in their wedding day but nowadays it’s more like a private dating roster and the kids will get set up but they will ultimately decide if they work well together or not. This is just literally blindsiding her son and his gf and trying to convince him to go along with something SHE wants. Very different and very fucked up.
Side note: That red turtleneck + neckless suit you insanely good! They go so well with your eyes and hair, even as a complimentary shade to your skin and lips. Also, just the contrast between the smooth fabric and the curly hair is just *chef's kiss".
Honestly surprised that this is the first time the guy actually put his foot down, props to all of them for staying to calm. I would've been so annoyed
her trying to force him to make decisions is literally like his mom trying to force him 🌚 like if he wanted to he would’ve already done it; i feel bad for them but in that moment she’s just as controlling as his mom
Hey lovely. pakistani here with a Muslim family. An arranged marriage is consenting on both parties of families and usually the parents will set up there own children with another family's child of the same age. And share common interests they go to lunch and meet until the parents are happy and the kids are happy then a marriage is planned and formed. A forced marriage which is what's happening here is where one party is non consenting and usually when the parents are forcing there children to marry someone they have no intention to date. It's very complex and hard as years of culture can have have an impact meaning partners can take it way more than us as we're used to generational trauma. Thankfully my dad married my mum who is English I grew up of dual ethnicity so my dad took my English husband under his wing❤❤❤❤ love the videos
It's infuriating how mothers especially get away with pretty blatant ab●$e and emotional inc■■t. I don't want to make everything about gender, but I feel like that is certainly a factor, considering the shockingly common mindset that women can't commit SA
Yeah ultimatums suck, but in reality it was the mom who put it out first, she just did it more passive aggressively. Actively going out of the way to break up the relationship, flat out saying she will never accept this woman end of story. There was no choice already. No one --- absolutely no one --- likes ultimatums, but Emily was clearly just saying what was already in front of them. They will never be happy with that petty mom interfering constantly, like a bad 90s family movie plot.
Every single time I ever watched this show I was just BLOWN AWAY by the audacity of these mothers like it’s insane to me people can act this way so shamelessly
I really enjoyed watching this episode. It was either the greatest acting on TLC ever or a great clip of authentic relationship dynamics unfolding in front of us. I hope that the mother did not get what she wanted in the end🤷♀️
When my husband and I were together a year his father rang him (they live in Bangladesh) we live in Ireland, his fathers friend asked him if my now husband would marry a girl who lives in Canada who’s family is apparently rich. When he told me for a minute or 2 I was heartbroken and I said ‘what did you say?’ He said no but I can imagine how Emily feels! We have a son together now who’s 8 months old and I’d never try to set him up with a partner it’s not my culture but also not my place as long as him and his future partner love each other and treat each other respectfully that’s all I want ❤
I think this is the perfect showcase as to how "boy moms" are abusive to there "boy". Obviously, this tends to hurt other siblings more. However, this is stupid abusive, and I wish it was brought up just a little bit more
I asked my partner how he would react to this situation. “I wouldn’t let myself be in that situation.” He also has a mom who tries to baby him. It’s up to these men to set the boundaries and make things right.
Your future sons will thank you for it believe me. I mean I cant imagine being THIS emotionally suffocated and turning out a level-headed person with realistic expectations. This shit should be illegal and im not cappin
There's an almost worst clip from this show - which might have taken place before this, I forget - where Shekeb brings Emily over to the house for his mom's birthday and the mom basically has this complete meltdown. She refuses Emily's gift, demands she leave, says she ruined her birthday. I think it might have been Shekeb and Emily who brought the cake too and Layla refuses to eat it. It's wild. Layla is clearly the most toxic of the moms featured on that show.
Something that I always have to wonder is how much influence the producers have in these shows. As someone who almost went on a reality show based on my then-relationship, it's really interesting how things are manufactured. Even the zoom interview to get on the show was manufactured in case they used the footage. Ultimately I never went on that show, but it helped me gather even more insight into this type of show. Part of me wonders if the ultimatum at the end was completely true to life or if at least some of it was scripted.
He is a grown ass adult and needs to act like one. There is a time when you have to stand up for yourself. I'm proud of him for walking out... he did the right thing! And she wasn't wrong for how she felt. I do think she could have chilled out on her response to him... but she was emotional and that's completely understandable.
@@beepboop97 Oh most definitely, she was justified in feeling the way she felt, I just thought her response to him was a little harsh. She made it sound like he had helped plan to bring Wagma into the situation, but he didn’t. I’m glad he stood with Emily and walked out on the mom. When Emily said he needs to move out of his mother’s house…I was gobsmacked. (Understand that I’ve never seen the show) All the while, I was thinking his mother was just REALLY overbearing (which she is), but he still lived at home so the mom though she could just keep treating him like a child.
I understand where Emily is coming from, absolutely. However, as someone who came from a household where i didn't get a lot of socialization besides my emotionally abusive parents, I also know just how much effort you have to put in to break away from them. It feels like your brain is trying to tear itself apart, because you know *logically* what your parents are doing is unacceptable, and you would want anyone in the same situation as you to leave as soon as it would be safe to do so. But at the same time, another part of your brain is screaming at you to go back, to do what they say, to apologize to them for whatever you've done, even if you don't remember doing anything wrong. For so long, your brain has been wired to see appeasing your parents as necessary, so anything that goes against that rings alarm bells immediately. Even though you *know* you shouldn't put up with it, for at least 18 years you've known no other way to survive. It's not an excuse, you shouldn't put up with anyone treating your partner that way, parents or not. But I feel like understanding where Shekeb's mind is needed to understand the full context. That being said, it doesn't mean Emily needs to stay, and it doesn't mean she needs to tolerate his mom's behavior. Shekeb needs time to break out of that mindset, but Emily doesn't need to be there for that if she doesn't want to be.
My ex is far from a mommas boy but good god she wishes he was and Im so glad I dodged her as my MIL. She’d invite herself on our dates, she (knowing she and her son both have OCD but she refuses to find anything that works for her to find a better balance mentally) would ruminate on random parts of conversations be they 2 days or 2 years old and decide people were lying. she’d have zero problem with me then suddenly couldn’t stand to be around me because she thought I was lying about something that could be totally mundane or that my ex was present for. She’d call to start drama about the most random things and once while she was working out of town, she called my ex to try to kick me out at 3 am and I wasn’t even there. She just suspected I was because he’d called and asked about an extra toothbrush he’d found in the bathroom… It’s been 9 years 😮💨
Download Love & Pies here
->
pixly.go2cloud.org/SH4G9
you designating that mock neck for ads is literally legend behaviour
damn I rly thought that said love and piss
What is that thing hanging out of your nose and what is the value of having things hanging out of your nose??!
@@gmg1985this is embarrassing
@@gmg1985 its called a nose ring
I feel so bad for Emily but I do like how this episode actually has a son who stands up for his partner. Justice for Emily
Same its so often a toxic mom has a toxic son, and this one is so “Mom. Stop.” Which is sadly uncommon
Wait until you see the rest of the series. 😅
@@CoffeeMe1987nooooo please tell me he doesn’t take his mothers side 😭
@@CoffeeMe1987yeah 😢
I watched the entire series and Emily just goes crazy at some point. It becomes a cycle of you can’t even tell who’s more toxic anymore
Oh he gets worse. Along with Washma.
If I show up to lunch and see my boyfriend's mother's first draft pick across the table from me, I'm walking out in handcuffs.
Agreed but “first draft” is hilarious 😭
@@AnnamarieForcino im gagged
First draft pick is wild 😭
For assaulting whom?? Their mother? That might be a bit much lol
@@elsvaughn7959could be the dude for letting it happen. He has agency, he’s grown.
If my mom tried to pull that shit I would simply never speak to her again lmao you will not disrespect me and my partner in that way.
The mother fully expected the girlfriend to get mad and storm off, leaving her son with the blind date. Her face was pure confusion when that didn't happen.
I feel like she expected Wagma to stay too, but she really just went “you guys figure this one out” and left.
Yes, Wagma has some dignity and self respect.
Wagma might want an arranged marriage but not with someone who is clearly in love with someone else. Plus now she has seen how Layla behaves, she is 100% out.
To be honest? At that point, it's not worth it. I was in a 3y relationship with a toxic mother in law (and her son xD) and it's not worht it. I strongly belive that if your partner choose to have his family in his life, you are marrying into that family, meaning - they gonna be part of your life. If the family is toxic and manipulative, that's gonna be your life and in my opinion, it's not worth it. No man (or woman, or persone) is worht this much hassle, this much stress and pain. My current husband has an amazing family (on top of him being a top tier man) and his mother is just as cute and loving as a mother should be (even if she is bit crazy sometimes xD) and did I married with 35? Yes. But so what. It's better to be single and unbothered then in relationship with your toxic mother in law
@kaworob yea cause if the family in law is THAT bad, a good partner isn't gonna force you to put up with them
@@justine8387 When she said "I'll talk to you later", I'm just like "Yeah... No she won't lol" 🙃
He's not really a "Mama's boy" he's just a young man with an emotionally abusive mama. The cringiest episodes are the ones where the men intentionally prioritize the whims of their mothers over the needs and desires of their girlfriends/wives and expect them to accept that.
Yeah. Tho after 3 years I would have hoped he would have been able to get enough help from friends, partner, therapy etc. to know his relationship with his mother is abusive and unhealthy. I can see why Emily is pissed, but I also think this dude needs help to escape his abusive mother.
The fun part is, that many of the men you describe as the negative are also that way because of some decades of emotionally abusive mums.
They just react differently, but are almost always in the exact same place reason wise.
I find terms like "Mama's Boys" and "Mommy/Daddy issues" can trivialize abuse/trauma, and even place the shame/blame upon the child.
@@lethfuil Gods, emotionally abusive parents are the WORST. I did think it’s a combo of the abuse and not healing from it, or having resources or acceptance to heal from it.
@@lordfreerealestate8302 Def can.
Wagma absolutely left and immediately texted her friends “yall are never gonna believe this” 😂😂😂 omg poor woman I don’t even know what I’d do in her place
Yeah if my parent or someone just straight up said they’d never give my partner a chance I’d be done. I just get up and leave with my partner. Cause what’s left to say after that? They’ve made their intentions clear.
Also what an insult to wagma and her whole family 😬
@@alanarama I know, after all it was arranged, so the parents must have agreed under false pretenses, so her mom and dad were probably waiting to hear from her after the "date", and imagine their surprise when she tells them. "yeah, it didn't go very well, turns out the man was in a relationship already 😬" and they're just like WTF???!!!
@@binkmuk she better hope that he marries his girlfriend because wagma parents will let people know they're not serious about any future arrangement!
3:39 You’re not illiterate, you’re just haunted by Olive Garden as an Italian-American so you think you see it everywhere.
Until I went to Olive garden I didn't realize anyone could mess up spaghetti.
@elaexplorer how do they mess up spaghetti? I made some by boiling them in the microwave one time (didn't have any other option) and they tasted amazing
@@echoless3474 you probably just havent had generally good pasta before
@L.a.77 probably not which is kind of sad since I'm only 2 countries over from Italy
It’s a trauma response
Imagine choosing to be a shitty mother even when every single person involved directly confronts you and tells you you're wrong
But you don't understand, it'd be good for her... 😅
My ex-bf mother was emotionally manipulating him, and since the father left, she was using her son as a replacement (only emotional incest thank Dog) to the point she refused therapy and treatment after her stroke, becuse her being helpless would mean that he will stay with her all the time... It was really sick. Also, she hated me duh.
It's almost as if it's obviously scripted 🤔
@@Sleipnirseightthere are *definitely* mothers like this all over in the real world.
And they’re still not really actors, these *are* those people. The situation is manipulated, but it’s still people doing these things and being abusive. Which is why I loathe reality tv.
I feel like the one of the biggest reasons she doesnt like Emily because shes a differnt race
It's the only reason she said so.
I thought TLC was trying to gaslight me or make me believe we entered a new era of casual racism. She was too much of a coward to make it definitive.
@@nah4073Baby stolas supremacy 💪💪✨✨
I think just the overall difference in culture too. It’s silly.
Yup, it's plain racism.
Honestly, if you are at a point in your relationship where you feel like you have to give your partner an ultimatum, it's already time to walk away.
I fully agree with this and its the reason why I never do ultimatums. Because literally you are putting your partner in a position where you're threatening them to break up if they don't do something. It could be as stupid as "its me or your Playstation 5". The fact that you want your partner to give something up to be with you is toxic, threatening and is more indicative on how you think your relationship can be broken otherwise. And if your relationship can be broken over something, that means you no longer have that relationship anymore if you need to threaten your partner into doing something. The relationship is already over.
Seriously!
@@GamerSisters 🙌
@@GamerSistersthis is a gross over generalization
Agreed I’ve been cheated on before, we can tell bc they start acting weird. Almost as if they unintentionally started sabotaging the relationship making it harder and harder. Never again will I date a person who needs female validation to survive. It’s exhausting.
So we're ignoring that the mother was straight-up racist? How could her wanting her Afghan son to marry an Afghan girl and his Korean girlfriend to marry a Korean man not racist? How is it anything other than racist?
ikr like other races can date other races-
It _is_ racist. I wish it was talked about more here. This mother is awful.
She also hates her because she’s a Christian
It is discriminatory but racism is not the right term for it, its more of a cultural thing because some traditional and orthodox and close minded asian parents from various cultures don't wanna miss on the prestige of showing off their daughter-in-law (most cases) or son-in-law in their cultural spaces through excuse of festivals and cultural rituals!!! Its superficial and in 21st century mostly a very close mindset but that's the reality in primarily Asia! Marriage holds different value in different cultures although obsessing your life around your son/daughter's partner is something a lot of parents are infamous for throughout cultures and religions and other man-made sects!!!!
In India a lot of arrange marriages are casteist and there's always misogyny involved from either of the sides or both! I don't respect arrange marriage tbh, almost all my siblings and cousins are...its hardly about culture, hindu scriptures themselves have multiple forms of marriages (some would even be illegal now), its basically a way for insecure parents to assign "respect" to their social bubble on behalf of their kid's lives!!!!!!!
ITS NONSENSICAL AT BEST AND DANGEROUS AT THE WORST!!!!
@@ghanshyamsingh3653discrimination based on race is literally by definition racism. Cultural reasons don't make it not racism
I've been in a relationship for 8 years now, and for those 8 years, I've had to pretend that my boyfriend is actually my girlfriend around my boyfriends parents, because my partner is transgender and his parents are extremely transphobic, so they don't want their "daughter" to be with someone who validates him or supports him, which I do. I've had to do that at the request of my boyfriend, because he wanted to stay with me, and his mother is also very controlling and toxic and would definitely disapprove of me being with him. He's almost done moving out of his mother's house, and his mother still thinks I think my partner is a cisgender female. She'll realize I don't think my boyfriend is a girl, and I never did once he moves out for good. There's not much she can do about me using his preferred name, and pronouns once he moves out, and we don't plan on talking to her ever again after that. I feel comfortable talking about this publicly because I don't care if she somehow finds out. She's not going to change either of our minds just because she disapproves of me once we've cut ties with her. ( He doesn't mind me sharing this either )
Not only is it incredibly fucked up for parents to control their partners life and relationships, it's pretty much futile once their child becomes an adult. That's why moving out is so important for people in relationships with controlling parents. Romeo and Juliet would have lived happily ever after if they could have separated from their families.
I’m so sorry that your partner is going through this, but it’s good that you’re there for him to lean on. I’m glad you’re both going no-contact with his parents because they probably won’t ever change nor accept him. It’s such a sad situation, but at least you have each other and the rest of your lives :) best of luck to you both!
Fuck. Sending all the love to yall 🖤
Good for you and especially good for your boyfriend!!! The most important thing for him is to build up complete financial independence, even separate from you, so that no matter what happens, he never has to go back to his parents for help (and therefore be subject to financial control/abuse).
GOOD. I’m so glad you two are able to escape that abuse. And also glad you respected not putting him in danger, as shitty and painful as misgendering and such can be-since causing a ton of friction in a place where a trans person would be endangered from you standing up for them is sometimes just NOT worth it. Sometimes you just gotta now to the bigots long enough to escape.
I'm in this situation right now and trying to move out soon as I can with someone .I hope your doing better.
Cultural norms don't usually include being inhospitable, rude, and downright cruel. Arranged marriages aside, you don't get your son to bring his girlfriend so you can delight in her devastation.
"What's going on?" Emily asks.
It's racism, Emily. Laila wants her son to marry an Afghani girl, and no one else is an option. Even if Wagma isn't there, Laila would look for another one.
It’s been three years and he STILL has set boundaries or tell that women to back off? Babe let him go
Mommas boy needs change and make choices for himself, it’s sad but it’s been a long time
he also literally said he has mixed emotions about the situation, tf does he mean mixed emotions???
You have to remember he grew up being manipulated his brain grew up with this being normal
@@L.a.77 that’s true but he can see how it’s effecting Emily PLUS he’s already been married before, possibly matched up by his mom too
@@Elliotshmelliot
You can have mixed emotions about situations like this. You can be both embarrassed, shocked, afraid and angry about a scenario like this.
Which he clearly feels right now. But, tbh this mother is selfish and she does not care about her son's feelings. He's not like these other Mama's Boys because you can tell he's close to his mom but he's clearly upset by this and defends Emily.
Something the other Mama Boys haven't done.
My south Asian bones are terrified to watch this video in case I relate to it
She's central Asian but afghan and desi culture are very similar
real :p
You know Wagma's group chat went ABSOLUTELY NUTS thats night
At first I thought Emily was overreacting about Shekev's lack of emotion, then I thought about how long their relationship has been and changed my mind. Three years of having to deal with Layla, who wants nothing to do with her, must be torture. I hope Emily, Shekev and Washma find successful, fulfilling relationships
I hope to God she’s left him by now.
@@Rakeeeeeemit’s not that easy to deal with trauma like this, and it seems to me that Shekev’s doing what he can emotionally manage. the secret to a healthy relationship isn’t leaving your partner after inconveniences, it’s working with them to the best of your ability. if it becomes too much, then please leave them. but just from this video, it seems like Shekev’s trying and (imo) Emily did indeed overreact.
@@nataliar6419 Agreed. I feel like we all need to understand where "The mama's boy" may be coming from. Chances are, the "mama's boy" in question may have endured years and years of manipulation, gaslighting and depending on the mother, abuse. It may be hard for them to say no to their mothers because of this. It may make them feel nervous, scared, put on the spot, etc. I personally don't see Shekev as a bad person to be in a relationship with, just a person who has an overbearing mother, and a hard time detaching himself from her. And maybe, he could use someone to help him.
Emily’s reaction is 100% justified! But while she had been dealing with Layla for 3 years, he’s had to deal with her his entire life. Some people have loss the ability to react to their parents audacity. Layla probably hasn’t tried this exact tactic before but I doubt this is the first time she’s tried to blatantly sabotage this relationship or past ones
18:59 That outside scene was definitely set up by production. She was told to get mad at him about it because it needed to be made to look like he really was a momma's boy.
From the rest of the episodes, he is very much a mama's boy
The entirety is, there's nobody else at that restaurant 😂
every day we stray closer to Freud's light & every day I am So Afraid.
Married a man whos mother was the same and wanted him with a good traditional Portuguese woman, We are divorced and he still cant find or keep a woman.
Babe get up Annamarie Forcino posted
Im up
im up
Read this as "Annamarie passed"
I'm also up. it's 5AM. help.
Okay babe, but Emma Thorne posted too.
7:35 She’d rather do verbal gymnastics than just say “Sorry for this. I should’ve asked and communicated.”
No bc she really doesn't feel bad, she doesn't think anything she does is wrong
@@HobieInTheBox She was Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss feat. Afghani Food
Apparently she asked/brought it up and her son said no, but mother knows best I guess
9:06 Eugenics and Racism. That’s usually the case.
Yup it is 😔
Can't have the gene pool contaminated 🙄
Knowing this story, this isn’t even the craziest interaction between these 3 👀
Spill the tea please!
🍵 giv
Oh? 👀 are there other clips we need to watch?
These 3 are a trip and a half, my bags were packed though lol! I would just say I wouldn’t give Shekeb too much credit, honestly at different times they are all questionable 😬
@@MadisonApitznooo let me live in my fantasy where he was actually working to undo years of harmful parenting and that he was coming out of it a better person... 😩😩😩
Recently, I was disappointed when I found out some lesbian RUclipsrs I watched were TERFs, so I went on Reddit to see other people’s suggestions on lesbian RUclipsrs who weren’t and were fun to watch. As a lesbian, myself, there’s not many I can find on RUclips that discuss lgbt topics and topical issues or entertainment reactions, etc that I felt represented by, but I saw someone mention to come over to this channel and check it out because Annamarie was inclusive and entertaining and I’m really glad I did. Subscribed and have been binging these videos. Quickly becoming one of my favorite RUclipsrs!
Amberscloset is another great trans-inclusive lesbian creator ❤ doesn’t post as much on RUclips though.
@@DiMagnoliathank you for the suggestion!
Can I ask what channel it was so I can unsubscribe from them if they're a group I watch as well? I've historically found out about creators being crappy way after everyone else because I don't use social media, and I'd rather not be accidentally following terfs.
@@thesaltycat9493yeah, i hate growing to like a content creator then like urgh, I can't hear this.
yeah please drop how i follow a lot of lesbian yters so
Arranged marriage simply means someone introduces a potential spouse to you. The second you're asked to meet or marry someone you don't want to it's forced marriage
YES
On the one hand, yes. On the other hand, where do you draw the line between societal/parental pressure and force?
I don't agree with that in most arranged marriages the bride does not have a choice
yeah three years of living with your mother who treats your gf poorly is too much. someone get this boy a therapist bc he has a lot to unpack
Im a 26-year-old man, and my mum was a toxic boy mum. I've got a lot of trauma from these toxic traits that I've been working through, and I'm so grateful that I stood by my wife and started to question my mum's behaviour many years ago. I am healthily at an arm's reach of my mum, and since forcing that space, I've never been so happy with my wife
So happy for you and your wife!
I hope recovery is still working out for you. Enmeshment can be really hard to get over.
10:45 JUSTICE FOR WAGMA
This poor girl thought it was a first meet but now shes sitting through the worst lunch ever
11:21 This is such a South Asian boy mom thing to say. I am not even fazed by this. wow
As a South Asian woman myself, this was so difficult to continue watching. Hard relate.
Leila is not going to change. A broken marriage and three years of relationship later, the boundary has not been set, and honestly, likely, it will never be set, no matter how much the guy tries. The mom sounds like a typical "sasu ma" (mother-in-law) from Desi soap operas, and such boy moms rarely change their tactics. The couple's whole life will be a struggle, regardless of if the son marries his mom's choice of woman. I have seen this happen in my own home, with friends and families, my mom. Emily should run and never look back.
Dude, I feel so bad for everyone except the mom.
Yeah she's like evil
Dont let your in-laws treat you bad. If your partner isnt gonna stand up for you but insists on maintaining a close relationship with them, they arent worth it
As someone who tends to bottle up ones emotions and tends to not 'react properly' in certain situations like funerals and such, I feel for this man don't pressure him let the man breath for like two seconds he left the restaurant 2 seconds ago he needs to process. He left the restaurant and to me at least that shows that he's chosen his gf over his mom already.
Exactly my thoughts, he’s had to shove aside his emotions and reactions for his whole life to keep his emotionally abusive mother from blowing up on him. The fact he was able to do anything against his mother is impressive. That doesn’t mean his gf doesn’t have the right to be pissed when he doesn’t show more anger though
As someone who tends to do the same because of my emotionally abusive step-mother, I feel for the guy
It’s been 3 years!
That confrontation was staged for good TV. There’s not really any actual tension because they have to get multiple takes. Gotta see through the artificial stress they add in editing and production
“That is awful.”
Ma’am, it’s giving projection.
The fact that the title under Wagma's name GIVEN BY THE SHOW was "prospective bride" is wild
Shekeb's past failed marriage was indeed an arranged one, naturally set up by Leila. It's insane to me that he did already try marrying that Afgani woman Leila wanted him to marry but it didn't work, and yet Leila is just insistent on trying the same thing again. Unreal
I love Wagma for just straight up being like "this is weird I gotta go" and walking out. I feel like Leila respected Wagma and maybe having her express how inappropriate the interaction was at least a little enlightening. It's clear she sees her son as incompetent and Emily as malicious, so having the person who was supposed to be on her side criticize her is important.
Honestly, Shekeb, Laila, and Emily have been the most entertaining people I’ve ever seen on television. My partner & I are constantly referencing them.
emilys reaction is completely justified and honestly i would do A LOT more than she did. SHE HAS BEEN WITH HIM FOR THREE YEARS!!! the patience this woman has is incredible
The sad thing is that they ended up breaking up as Shekeb ended up choosing his mom over Emily in the end.
It's sad for Shekeb, but makes me so glad for Emily. Shekeb clearly isn't in a place where he's ready to make the changes to get out from under his mother's thumb, and Emily needed to step away years ago. I'm glad she's out of that situation.
I've seen this. Washma and Jakeeb actually start going on little friend dates and never tell Emily. Which friend dates are fine but to not tell your other half?
"friend dates" that you hide from your S/O are not just friend dates
@@aylajohnson7613 Oh. I agree entirely. They don't care for Emily at all. So I don't feel bad for the other 2 either.
There’s no such thing as a “friend date” 😂
@chilltheheckoutwithava1454 there is but they ALWAYS involve asking for the partner's concent
I feel like if you call it a "friend date" and not "hanging out with my friend" can be indicative of emotional cheating tbh
Poor Washma! Imagine you get set up on a blind date and then find out he already has a girlfriend but even worse he had no clue you were coming
My in-laws are hyper Catholic, and while my, now wife, and I were still dating, they took her on a "family cruise". Turns out, they also invited their friends similarly aged son who was going to seminary school and literally tried bartering with his parents in front of them about marriage dowry. Even outside of cultures where arranged marriages are the norm, this stuff unfortunately happens all the time.
As someone who HAS had to cut off contact with my mom I totally get his reaction here. I really wish Emily had given him 24 hours to collect his thoughts. Her reaction is totally understandable and I don't blame or judge her for it. Also, I don't think it was super helpful, she was repeatedly putting him on the spot while he was still literally in shock. I don't think Emily recognized that Shekeb had also been completely blindsided and was still processing what had even happened.
It sounds like he maybe has a pattern of not reacting in a way that Emily would like to see, and this maybe to her seemed the same. Maybe he has repeatedly felt stuck at choosing between his mother and his girlfriend. I have so much sympathy for him, he really does seem to care for Emily and understand that his mother is the issue, and also, like any human, cutting of the person who raised you and that the world has taught you to always stay connected to, is not something that can be done in an instant.
That’s exactly what I thought. Her reaction is a few hours from now at home kind of conversation not a it just happened kind of conversation. She putting him on the spot while he still is confused, I also don’t think it’s fair that she didn’t think his reaction was enough. The first words out of his mouth were “what is this” and “this is not okay” like he immediately told the mom that this is not okay he just didn’t get angry and throw a tantrum
i watched the show, and shekeb often did choose his mother over emily and disregarded her feelings, this was emily’s final straw almost so her reaction is understandable. like yes she should’ve perhaps given him more time but she’s had enough and after three years of dating, wanting him to finally make a choice is valid of her
"You're too calm!"
The man is clearly deeply upset, hurt, and angry, not everybody gets louder the angrier they are. What do you want from him? A screaming match with his mother who will just call him a bad son for it? Screaming at you, which you're just going to go "Why are you screaming at me?" Flailing and wailing? In public? On camera?
Justice for her but justice for him too. He was just deeply betrayed and both him and the woman he loves seriously insulted by his own mother, and then immediately attacked by the partner he was defending.
It’s reality tv
Wagma dipping out was the right call for her. She said "Oh I see... Duces. Good luck with whatever this is."
Laila's face when Emily refused to leave showed that getting Emily upset enough to walk away was the objective by bringing Wagma.
TLC: The Lunatic Channel. These shows never fail to terrify/amaze me
I heard it stands for "The Learning Channel" and used to be actually educational, and all you "learn" from it now is how badly everyone featured needs mental health help and to not be on a tv show 💀
@@RainbyFINYes, it stands for that. But sadly nowadays they just show us.... Reality? I don't know if it counts as educational... Maybe?
i feel SO bad for wagma she clearly didn’t know what was going on. she looked so confused and imagine how painfully awkward this would be. honestly justice for wagma
Bro Washna had the tightest smile I've ever seen at this dinner. She really doesn't want to be put on the spot like this, I have no clue what I'd do in this situation.
I watch a lot of RUclipsrs and yours is the only one that I say the intro along with. It's so fun. I might just f*** around and get my own fan.
Ultimatums no, boundaries yes.
And they can look similar and be easy to confuse with each other. But ultimatums are about controlling the actions of others, whereas boundaries have to be about your actions. So you can say, “I feel disrespected in this relationship, and I can’t do it any more. I can’t deal with your mom any more, and I need to remove myself from this situation where I constantly feel threatened by her. You get to make your own decisions, but I can’t take that anymore, and if you can’t or won’t stand up to her, I need to leave.” Which is similar to and yet different from, “You are going to stand up to her, it’s me or her. You have to choose.”
Ultimatums are more combative and about controlling others; boundaries are about removing yourself from untenable circumstances.
The line between an ultimatum and a boundary is often really fuzzy. Id consider your quote an ultimatum as well because it is still telling someone that it's either you or them. Ultimatums are sometimes about controlling others, but they're also sometimes about having a boundary you have established crossed over and over again and needing to set the line clearly in stone.
Sometimes a boundary turns into an ultimatum when someone keeps breaking the boundary. You have to follow through with the natural consequences of breaking boundaries which is refusing to spend more time with that person
My dad was originally going to be in an arranged marriage, so was his sisters and brother. He didn't want to be in an arranged marriage and be married to someone he might not even love. He told his parents (my grandparents) that he doesn't want to be in one. His parents understood and now, he isn't in an arranged marriage, he is in a marriage he wants to be in. My aunts (my dad's sisters) aren't married to anyone because they never wanted to and my uncle (my dad's brother) is married to someone that my grandfather slightly doesn't like but is still supportive of the marriage. That is what Shekeb's mom should have done, just accepting that Shekeb doesn't want to marry a woman she likes. Man, I feel bad for Shekeb, Emily and Wagma.
You just know Wagma went home and told her mom everything! Like behavior like Laila's is so weird that her parents most likely wont entertain another discussion
if he can make decisions for himself, she wouldn't have to give him an ultimatum.
I can get the frustration, but demanding him to make a choice is brutal, he's obviously under his mother's hold in a way that's psychologically entrapping, and taxing. If anything, maybe seeing a psych professional could help -and also I understand the being calm, it's how some people deal with being upset, and it was already tremendous for him to walk away from his mother and choose his girlfriend so frontally in this occasion.
Not that I don't feel for the girl too. Obviously the lunch was painfully awkward, and the mother's behavior is hurtful. She has known he had issues with his mother for three years, and it is a long time when you'd like to just enjoy your boyfriend's presence peacefully. But I'm just saying he can't just flip a switch because his mother has conformed his brain since childhood to create a nest for herself in it.
He could have at least started de-programming though. He is just allowing someone to disrespect his partner… so he doesn’t deserve one. Seek out help any year between 1 and 3
Seeing a therapist won't really fix the issue if he's still living at his mom's house. Therapists are useful for helping abused people gain the ability to leave, but they have to actually LEAVE of their own accord. Seems like they had the funds and time to have him move out. His mom had disrespected Emily since day 1, so I totally understand why she was putting her foot down here.
That’s definitely true, but I don’t think it’s fair to expect Emily to just keep tolerating that behavior from his mother, especially not after she’s already put up with this for three years. Constantly being treated like that by her partner’s mother cannot be good for her, and I think it’s completely fair for her to say “look, if this is going to continue happening, I can’t be in this relationship anymore.” If staying in this situation is going to make her miserable and it doesn’t look like anything is going to change, I think ending the relationship is not only justified but is probably the right decision.
my first instinct was to feel like Emily was being a little unfair to him outside because walking out with her was probably a big step for him, but on second thought, he really just sat back and let her carry that whole conversation with the mom and explaining to her why it was wrong. hopefully this is a wake up call for him, but right now he's just waiting for a different woman to tell him what to do. if he had been the one to say let's go talk, or even said let me talk to my mom for a minute before she got fed up enough to leave, she probably would've been calmer.
0:18 It’s high time the spirit of Sigmund Freud got a place at the Watch Party. He’d be so happy with this show.
Confused why Emily gets mad at him so immediately, I thought it was cool that she was assertive to his mom though I just kinda think we forgot how much he’s the victim of his parents behaviour because he literally wasn’t raised to stand up for himself or set boundaries
Yes but let's remember this has been a 3 YEAR relationship. We've only seen just one of the likely many incidents his mom has caused. How much longer can Emily wait for him to establish boundaries and protect her from his mother's behavior.
@@InternetsPedestrian I actually didn’t remember this was a 3 year relationship, I guess she is speaking more from a place of exhaustion with the whole dynamic and not just frustration at this one incident
As @InternetPedestrian said, this is likely a pattern that has been ongoing for the majority of their relationship, judging by his mom. However, in my opinion, it seems like Emily is not acknowledging that Shekeb was also blindsided and that cutting off your mother, even if you want to, and know it is the right and healthy thing to do, is not an easy task. She is within her rights to set that boundary, and also, she could have given Shekeb 24 hours just to even collect his thoughts after what happened. They were both in shock and Emily was lashing out, Shekeb was surprisingly cool under pressure, though honestly, it may have just been stunned shock more than anything.
It is a true shame that both (or all three if you include the date) were put into this horrible situation when they at least outwardly appear to care deeply about each other, and it would be an awful shame that three years could be thrown away because things were said/done in the heat of the moment.
Because not once in 3 years has her partner stood up for her. Her frustration is completely justified. Besides, they probably had a conversation about this after they calmed down… I hope
A 3 year relationship for her a lifetime of dealing with it for him. He needs therapy and to set boundaries for sure but it’s always easier said then done to cut out a family member that has been an influence in your life since day one.
You definitely need to watch more of this couple then. Emily gets a little ridiculous as time goes on with like being demanding of things like rings and specific living arrangements. I don't like anyone in this relationship.
How specific were the living agrrangemnet demands? Because if it is to live far away, and she rarely visits the in laws, I think it is pretty solid.
I mean, she should have absolutely just dumped him instead, but I'd start getting ridiculous too if my relationship had been going on for that long and my boyfriend was still doing things like inviting the mother he knows hates me to our Valentines date. I totally get how frustrated Emily was getting and how unfair this whole situation was for her.
This clip is crazy, BUT
YOU GOTTA DO THE CLIP WHEN IT'S MOM'S BIRTHDAY
Mom saying her whole birthday was ruined, threatening her life when Shakeb walks out with Emily
you gotta add to this
or better yet, go back to Matt, he's with a whole new girl and his mom showed up at her work to interrogate her!!!
there is so much more tea to spill
YESSSS
Shekeb immediately knowing what was happening and just going, "oh my god" is so good, brother has been through it already you can tell
I hate that some parents think theirs no breaking point, this woman thinks her son is always gonna be on a leash, but one day he’ll wise up and get her out of his life.
OMG. I found an update, and Sheqeb tried to get Emily to move in with him and his mom!!! 😮
That was the last straw, and she walked.
oh my god, that's absolutely insane. good on emily, there's only so much you can deal with.
This feels like an episode of What Would You Do with John Quinones 😭
I am having the most insane Mandela effect I could have SWORN the intro was "how the HELL are ya" and IT'S NOT AND IM LOSING MY MIND WHY DO I SO VIVIDLY REMEMBER THE INTRO HAVING AN EXTRA WORD
The timeline be changing again 😂
It's not a Mandela effect if it's just you lol
@@Link-dx1lxlmaooo
Arranged marriages these days are a LOT different than it was in the past. My grandparents literally met in their wedding day but nowadays it’s more like a private dating roster and the kids will get set up but they will ultimately decide if they work well together or not. This is just literally blindsiding her son and his gf and trying to convince him to go along with something SHE wants. Very different and very fucked up.
3:56 I felt like I was in trouble for a minute there. That scared me. (My name is also Layla.)
I feel bad for Emily but she can't get mad that he didn't react the way she wanted him to react. He needed time to process what just happened.
plus that's his mama. like give him a minute!
She’s been dealing with this for three years….
Side note: That red turtleneck + neckless suit you insanely good! They go so well with your eyes and hair, even as a complimentary shade to your skin and lips. Also, just the contrast between the smooth fabric and the curly hair is just *chef's kiss".
Honestly surprised that this is the first time the guy actually put his foot down, props to all of them for staying to calm. I would've been so annoyed
her trying to force him to make decisions is literally like his mom trying to force him 🌚 like if he wanted to he would’ve already done it; i feel bad for them but in that moment she’s just as controlling as his mom
Hey lovely. pakistani here with a Muslim family. An arranged marriage is consenting on both parties of families and usually the parents will set up there own children with another family's child of the same age. And share common interests they go to lunch and meet until the parents are happy and the kids are happy then a marriage is planned and formed.
A forced marriage which is what's happening here is where one party is non consenting and usually when the parents are forcing there children to marry someone they have no intention to date.
It's very complex and hard as years of culture can have have an impact meaning partners can take it way more than us as we're used to generational trauma. Thankfully my dad married my mum who is English I grew up of dual ethnicity so my dad took my English husband under his wing❤❤❤❤ love the videos
it's always the boy moms, lets face it
It's infuriating how mothers especially get away with pretty blatant ab●$e and emotional inc■■t. I don't want to make everything about gender, but I feel like that is certainly a factor, considering the shockingly common mindset that women can't commit SA
Society has a tendency to let women get away with more. Just look up the 🍇 laws in the UK
Yeah, women do tend to get away with more in this context. Just look up the big bad R laws in the UK
@@osheridan🙄
@@ghoultooth Am I wrong? It's seriously an issue
Yeah ultimatums suck, but in reality it was the mom who put it out first, she just did it more passive aggressively. Actively going out of the way to break up the relationship, flat out saying she will never accept this woman end of story. There was no choice already. No one --- absolutely no one --- likes ultimatums, but Emily was clearly just saying what was already in front of them. They will never be happy with that petty mom interfering constantly, like a bad 90s family movie plot.
i'm loving the haircut!! it suits you so well
Ugh there needs to be a part two, this feels like we just reach the climax and...i just want a happy-ending. We need closure.
The speed at which id go no-contact with that mom hoooollllly shit 💀 and you know Wagma cried in her car after this
I was literally looking for a new Anna Marie video was repeatedly refreshing and this diamond in the rough shows up,YYYEEESSS
Every single time I ever watched this show I was just BLOWN AWAY by the audacity of these mothers like it’s insane to me people can act this way so shamelessly
I really enjoyed watching this episode. It was either the greatest acting on TLC ever or a great clip of authentic relationship dynamics unfolding in front of us. I hope that the mother did not get what she wanted in the end🤷♀️
The acting wasn’t that good lol
When my husband and I were together a year his father rang him (they live in Bangladesh) we live in Ireland, his fathers friend asked him if my now husband would marry a girl who lives in Canada who’s family is apparently rich. When he told me for a minute or 2 I was heartbroken and I said ‘what did you say?’ He said no but I can imagine how Emily feels! We have a son together now who’s 8 months old and I’d never try to set him up with a partner it’s not my culture but also not my place as long as him and his future partner love each other and treat each other respectfully that’s all I want ❤
Mummy Ji bringing a blind date randomly? That’s a literal plot point in the ‘The Big Sick’ btw.
great movie
Ngl i also read it as olive garden 😭😭
TLC someone never fails to scare me with the shows it adorns…sheesh.
i feel bad for all parties involved (except for the mother, she's majorly in the wrong)
I think this is the perfect showcase as to how "boy moms" are abusive to there "boy".
Obviously, this tends to hurt other siblings more. However, this is stupid abusive, and I wish it was brought up just a little bit more
Honestly I’m thoroughly shocked Shekeb didn’t take one look at the table and say “we’re leaving”
His mom is so wrong. Arranged marriage ≠ forced marriage. She’s trying to force a marriage
I asked my partner how he would react to this situation. “I wouldn’t let myself be in that situation.” He also has a mom who tries to baby him. It’s up to these men to set the boundaries and make things right.
This is common in every culture when the parent is okay with being a conservative ass shit more than loving their kid
I swear on the grave on my beloved Nanna, that I will never be this type of boy mum
Your future sons will thank you for it believe me.
I mean I cant imagine being THIS emotionally suffocated and turning out a level-headed person with realistic expectations.
This shit should be illegal and im not cappin
There's an almost worst clip from this show - which might have taken place before this, I forget - where Shekeb brings Emily over to the house for his mom's birthday and the mom basically has this complete meltdown. She refuses Emily's gift, demands she leave, says she ruined her birthday. I think it might have been Shekeb and Emily who brought the cake too and Layla refuses to eat it. It's wild. Layla is clearly the most toxic of the moms featured on that show.
Something that I always have to wonder is how much influence the producers have in these shows. As someone who almost went on a reality show based on my then-relationship, it's really interesting how things are manufactured. Even the zoom interview to get on the show was manufactured in case they used the footage. Ultimately I never went on that show, but it helped me gather even more insight into this type of show. Part of me wonders if the ultimatum at the end was completely true to life or if at least some of it was scripted.
I hate how Emily’s so pissed at Shekeb. He had nothing to do with the situation. He was blindsided too. (And so was poor Wagma)
He is a grown ass adult and needs to act like one. There is a time when you have to stand up for yourself. I'm proud of him for walking out... he did the right thing! And she wasn't wrong for how she felt. I do think she could have chilled out on her response to him... but she was emotional and that's completely understandable.
@@beepboop97 Oh most definitely, she was justified in feeling the way she felt, I just thought her response to him was a little harsh. She made it sound like he had helped plan to bring Wagma into the situation, but he didn’t. I’m glad he stood with Emily and walked out on the mom.
When Emily said he needs to move out of his mother’s house…I was gobsmacked. (Understand that I’ve never seen the show) All the while, I was thinking his mother was just REALLY overbearing (which she is), but he still lived at home so the mom though she could just keep treating him like a child.
He isn't doing enough to protect his gf.
I understand where Emily is coming from, absolutely. However, as someone who came from a household where i didn't get a lot of socialization besides my emotionally abusive parents, I also know just how much effort you have to put in to break away from them. It feels like your brain is trying to tear itself apart, because you know *logically* what your parents are doing is unacceptable, and you would want anyone in the same situation as you to leave as soon as it would be safe to do so. But at the same time, another part of your brain is screaming at you to go back, to do what they say, to apologize to them for whatever you've done, even if you don't remember doing anything wrong. For so long, your brain has been wired to see appeasing your parents as necessary, so anything that goes against that rings alarm bells immediately. Even though you *know* you shouldn't put up with it, for at least 18 years you've known no other way to survive. It's not an excuse, you shouldn't put up with anyone treating your partner that way, parents or not. But I feel like understanding where Shekeb's mind is needed to understand the full context. That being said, it doesn't mean Emily needs to stay, and it doesn't mean she needs to tolerate his mom's behavior. Shekeb needs time to break out of that mindset, but Emily doesn't need to be there for that if she doesn't want to be.
i'm actually so deadass i was so obsessed with love & pies for a while but not the game, just the account with animated videos 😭😭
My ex is far from a mommas boy but good god she wishes he was and Im so glad I dodged her as my MIL. She’d invite herself on our dates, she (knowing she and her son both have OCD but she refuses to find anything that works for her to find a better balance mentally) would ruminate on random parts of conversations be they 2 days or 2 years old and decide people were lying. she’d have zero problem with me then suddenly couldn’t stand to be around me because she thought I was lying about something that could be totally mundane or that my ex was present for. She’d call to start drama about the most random things and once while she was working out of town, she called my ex to try to kick me out at 3 am and I wasn’t even there. She just suspected I was because he’d called and asked about an extra toothbrush he’d found in the bathroom… It’s been 9 years 😮💨