I missed last week but here's my weekly petition for Mrs Tango to be a guest on the podcast. She is such a fun and lovely and funny person and I would love to hear her perspective as the wife of a full time content creator.
@playstyle516 because she has a different perspective of Tango, she is another person who is highly charismatic and lively and she can give insights and ideas that have so far been unexplored on this podcast. Notice how all the guests have been male? I really hope they interview some of the women they know or have in their lives. Not because they have to be diverse for diverse sake, but because those women (ex: pearl, gem, Mrs tango, stressmonster, false) are genuinely interesting people have different lived experiences that would be awesome to hear about. My question you, why not have her on the podcast?
Impulse. Years ago your tutorials were the first MC content I consumed and led to me watching and loving Hermitcraft. Fast forward to this past year and my son was born at 23 weeks, leading to a 4 months hospital stay for him and 4 months of daily NICU visits for his mom and me. It was the most stressful time of my life and you and Skizz and the other Hermits were a huge part of the entertainment that kept me sane through it. Now you guys are my primary entertainment in the middle of the night when I’m giving him a bottle or rocking him to sleep. Thank you so much for that, and I hope it provides you with a little something for the “Why” list
Ayy podcast time! I know y'all have talked about Scar being a guest...he mentioned in a recent stream that he loves your podcast and that he'd even fly to Arizona to be on it! So, even if he wouldn't fly there, he's definitely down to be a guest!
I'm not a regular listener, but I put this one on briefly out of curiousity and suddenly an hour had gone by and I was engaged the whole time. You guys have a serious talent for conversation and I'm looking forward to going through the back catalog to catch up on what I've been missing out on!
What is equally powerful is the power of "why not". Many times I hear people ask "why?" in a way as complaining. Like "Why me?" or "Why now?". By adding the word "not" after "why" it changed my perspective a lot. "Why not me?" and "Why not now?"
49:52 - "Why are some people happy and some people aren't?" I just love everything about this question and this discussion between Imp and Skizz. Sometimes it's tough to be happy, to see the positives in life, but I can take solace in knowing that there is always a choice in the matter. Thanks for the wise words, you two!
This one left me thinking over it as well. It also reminded me of a post that essentially said, for some it can be uncomfortable to be happy so they default to their comfort of being unhappy. It's weird to think that being unhappy is a comfort, but when you have conditioned yourself (or have been conditioned), into thinking and acting a certain way, doing the opposite may not feel right. Even if it's something that makes you feel good. Maybe it goes with imposter syndrome a bit.
I wanted to address that statement of "you choose to be happy or not". Before I do, please know that I love this podcast, I love you 2, you guys are awesome, you're my role models, and I personally identify a lot with Impulse. And to be fair, Impulse did address the mental health aspect and that it might be more difficult for some. Just to add on to what was said, I think that statement of "you choose to be happy or not" largely applies to neuro-typical people, but not really to neuro-divergent people. I know it sounds like I'm being pedantic, but I noticed that if I see these 2 as role models, then I am sure others do too. I can't speak for everyone but I often catch myself just blatantly believing whatever my role models say. In this situation however, I am neuro-divergent and I cannot tell you HOW INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATING it is to deal with 'intrusive thoughts' - Thoughts that invade whether I want them to or not (I actually have no control over this). Yes, I ultimately still have control over whether I want to be happy or not. But I cannot begin to describe how derailing/annoying/difficult it can be when I am happy, when my whole day has been good, when I am currently in a good mood, and then my brain is just like 'Hey! Remember when ....? LET'S BE ANGRY NOW!'. When my brain wants to be angry and the rest of me knows, logically, I have no reason to be. Those are the moments when I actually have no control over that aspect of myself. Like I am at odds with my own brain. And that makes it difficult to interact with people, makes me self-conscious when I know I am inconveniencing them, when I want to express pride or bewilderment in someone else's achievements, but all I can feel is envy. It actually makes me despise myself which only perpetuates the cycle. But worst of all, because others don't understand it, people just see me as a selfish or negative person. And that, in and of itself, has other/further implications. But I've already written too much. What I'm trying to say is "you choose to be happy or not" is more like "you choose if you WANT to be happy or not". But for some, they expend most of the energy they have that day just TRYING to be happy. That leaves us completely drained and can severely affect how we respond to people. I imagine, for neuro-typical people, it would be similar to watching every single word that comes out of your mouth and trying to be on your best behaviour with proper manners (as if you were at dinner with royalty) for the entire day. Because that's actually what it feels like for me. I actually had to go through CBT and DBT (deep counseling to develop skills meant to work around this issue and challenge my thoughts), only to be able to more quickly challenge these thoughts as they invade. But it doesn't stop the invasion of the thoughts. And MANY people in my situation do no have the means to access this training. All of this is to say, for some, they don't have the luxury to choose if they want to be happy or not. It is chosen for them by random firings of neurons in their brain and often spirals into MANY worse things (worse mental health issues, worse self image issues, may even result in them lashing out on a social/societal level, or worse), unless they can (a) access help AND (b) aren't already too deep into the mental health rabbit hole to realize how life changing help can be. I just wanted to say this, not to 'correct' Impulse and Skizz, but to shed some additional light on something that I think was overlooked in this podcast. But please, Imp, Skizz, don't see this as negative criticism. I never would have had the IMPULSE ( :D ), the venue, or found the words to describe something like this if you hadn't started the conversation :) So thank you very much for that! . . . Side note: lol, just so everyone else knows, "eh" isn't a filler word for us Canadians (usually). We mostly use it as a question similar to "do you agree?" E.g. "That was a cool movie eh?" Sometimes you'll see someone using "eh" as a filler (e.g. "ehhhhhh ... I don't know") but that's more of a personal quirk and is usually just their preferred sound rather than "uuhhhhhhhhh". - Opinion of a south-Ontarian who has tons of influence from America and doesn't really have a typical "Canadian" accent. It might be different in different parts of Canada. But I have travelled Canada a bunch and this seems to be the norm.
@@justcallmeness ooooo that's interesting! Growing up, I couldn't stand Canadian TV. I preferred British and American TV hahahaha. But I can totally see that!
As an Autism family, I totally agree that you can not just choose to be happy..some days the brain has other ideas. And many ASD people suffer with depression and anxiety which makes choosing happy difficult.
Thank you for saying this! I just listened to it and had the same thought, and it made me feel so incredibly sad. I feel like I'm such a failure. I'm taking in everything around me, and it's so draining. I feel like an old pc running with 100 tabs open. Each working on their own thing, resulting in complete exhaustion. Someone I talked to once said that a neuro typical brain filters out the stuff it doesn't need. A neuro diverse brain doesn't have that same ability. It's hard having a conversation with someone when you're always reading their body language, listening to the tone of their voice, questioning why they said what they said, why they left something out, wondering what they think about you, trying to say the correct things in the correct way, making sure not to over share, pondering whether or not you're standing too close, asking yourself if you are taking up too much space in the conversation, feeling like a fraud, trying to mirror the other person.... And afterwards flaming yourself for your performance in the conversation. Executive dysfunction, depression, masking, anxiety, guilt.... I'm so tired 😞 I want to be happy. I don't know how to. My brain won't let me just be free. I do love this podcast though, and I want to start asking myself Why. Perhaps it's what I need. Maybe asking why will get me to a better place than asking what I'll have to do to find a purpose in life. I'm ready to find out 😃
1:01:01 "When somebody behaves this way, they're either having a really bad day, or a really bad life." Reminds of when I was 19, I had worked a summer job being a leader at a kid's summer day camp. There were these two sisters, one 5 and one 8. From the start of the summer, they drove me insane. They were being downright awful kids. Throwing tantrums, causing trouble every turn, and just being- in full honesty- brats. They were only there Mondays and Wednesdays, but I dreaded those days because of how much I did not like them. Until about half way through the summer, I asked myself one day when the eldest got in trouble, why did she do this? I listened to both sides of the story; the boys were mad at her because she bit them, she lashed out because they told her she couldn't play with them, and she was lonely. I taught her that physical actions are not how to reply to things, especially when upset. I also asked her "Sweetie, and if you don't want to answer this, that's fine- you don't have to, But when you act like this, is it because things aren't great at home?" I asked her this because I had noticed as well during the summer the signs of not having a great home life; angry father, dismissive mother, worn out clothes that no longer fit. She sniffled amidst her ugly crying and nodded. I got her cleaned up, gave her a hug, and I told her that if she's ever upset by something, she can come to me about it and I would listen to her. She and her sister became some of my favorites before the end of the summer, and I don't think I will ever forget them. They would both be 10 and 13 now. I hope they're doing alright. The eldest, I found that she was interested in art. I was majorly into drawing at the time too, so I often would spend time teaching her and some other kids some art tips and tricks. I remember one day she was showing me her sketchbook full of creatures she made. She was ashamed of them because she thought they were too weird. That's when I told her about character and creature design. I asked her to name her favorite show and her favorite characters. I told her that each character or creature was designed by someone, and that was that person's job; to design things. She looked at me as though the gates of heaven had been opened. The youngest, she had her 6th birthday during that summer. She was so excited for it in the days and week leading to up to it. But day of, all the other kids cared about was the cupcakes her parents brought in. No one wanted to play with her. So i promised her that when we went swimming that day, I would play with her. And I did. I also sang to her a mildly altered version of the birthday song from Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses. She was beaming ear to ear. I went from being so angry about my situation and what was going on; to asking why, and became support for 2 little ones who needed it most. Sometimes, if you ask "Why?" you change more than just yourself for the better.
25:11 - Impulse: “When I was in Israel” I’m sorry what! You can’t just throw down a, I was in Israel and not elaborate. So my question to you impulse is “Why!”
Because they are normal people, like us, but they choose to make the world a better place by uplifting others to the best of their ability. That’s the answer that popped into my head. 🙃 Great comment, btw.
To have a friend who not only so strongly supports your friendship but also your marriage is truly a gift! The friendship between the two of you is so special and that’s what makes this podcast so great.
30:40 I found it really interesting that you brought up fillers in conversation and wanting to hear if someone is listening! I've been studying Japanese for years so not a native speaker, but one of the early thing my teachers taught me was this cultural idea of active listening. It's basically putting in subtle "uh-huh", "yeah", "I see", etc in the middle of conversations without interrupting to let the person talking know you're engaged and listening. I got so used to it in my studies that I still do it during my job in America and wonder if anyone thinks I'm rude 😅
Hey, Imp and Skizz!! I just listened to this episode a couple of days ago and I had a conversation with my mom where I was able to ask her why and it helped me better understand her emotions. For context, I’m going on a trip to see my girlfriend near the end of June and it’s a long drive from my house to where we’re staying. (Ftr we’re in a long distance relationship and rarely get to see each other in person) My mom and I were chatting today and my mom expressed concern for me traveling so far on my own. Instead of lashing out and saying how I’m old enough to make my own decisions, I asked her why and was able to have a super productive and constructive conversation with my mom. So thanks for the handy advice, guys. Your podcast really is an inspiration for me.
Often we don’t ask why because we don’t want to face the truth of why we do things. We crave safe comfortable people/situations because they are safe and we don’t have to worry about what we are doing or saying. I enjoyed this podcast..very insightful
I wanted to add something to the why, or why not, on happiness (excluding talks of mental illness.) Often times, we forget that a lot of what makes a person is in the moments that we don't see. I've learned, mostly from being a parent of children with various disorders, that a lot of times, we forget that we need to teach our children how to learn, accept, adapt, and react. I always tell my kids that when something happens, you feel what you feel. You can't always control that. What you can control is how you react. It's not always easy. It can take practice. But it is under your control. For some people, that knowledge might come naturally, but for many, we need to be taught. So, even if your parents tried to give you everything they thought you needed, but never taught you how to deal with various circumstances, you can really struggle. But the important part, I think, is that it's never too late to learn.
Totally unrelated to the podcast but I just had a youtube bug where this video was in place of an MSNBC video so it was Impulse and Skiz staring into the camera with this title "See Fox News crash and burn over Tucker firing: Rob Reiner breakdown" One of the funniest things I have seen this week.
This one absolutely hit home with me this week. 'why' is one of my biggest struggles in everything i do. there's always gotta be a purpose or a why behind everything i put my time into and if there isnt a reason why then it drives me bonkers. I hate doing busywork in relation to schoolwork and whenever i have to keep doing things over it bothers me because i learn very kinesthetically and oftentimes i one-and-done things. I taught myself how to draw and write and bookbind and work with clay and to do countless things and even now i've taking on making cosplay and things from eva foam as my next big projects to throw myself into. It feels like a waste of time when i have to repeat things. and then i ask myself why and thats when i start to dig things up. I also really relate to the whole 'why do i want people to like me --> so i can control them --> so i feel safe' pipeline. I never even realized that until now. (I totally get the filler words thing too i have a younger brother who drives me bonkers because i need that sort of feedback to feel listened to and heard and he just doesn't communicate in the same way so it's hard sometimes) but why is a very very powerful word thanks so much for putting out this podcast. I'm trying to start my own podcast with my dad, but I have debilitating mic-fright to the point where you put me on a mic and my voice just disappears. Mostly going back to the 'what if i screw up what if i do something wrong' fear that's fed into my wanting to please others. do you guys have any advice for getting past that sort of thing?
Must be honest when you were both looking at the camera with impulse a little closer I felt like you were looking into my soul! Great show and very interesting topic 👍
I think the um and like stuff is all about not being interrupted. You say a sentence, and have more to say, but you still need just a moment to think before you can say it. I saw a tip about this saying you should take intentional pauses, just a bit earlier in your sentence, when it's really clear you aren't done, and this lets you get through stuff without signaling that you're done, but instead signaling that you are still going.
Impulse, the problem with removing filter words/sounds is that you tend to replace them instead with something else. "You know?" "Like" [repeating yourself or the other person] are just a few examples. But the silence is still worse.
The silent beginning was freaky! But fun. It's good Skizz had some insight into Mrs Impulse & the Murphy Bed that day, and lovely that Mrs Impulse wanted to show support with your studio and be part of it's coming into being.
Skizz, the question about bowing reminded me of an old black and white movie called The King and I. The king had a rule that nobody's head could be higher than his, and he teased a tutor for his children by lowering himself repeatedly so she would have to lower herself as well. Eventually being down on the floor. It has been many years since I seen that movie, but now I want to watch it again and see what I have forgotten about it.
The eipsode really helped me realize why i choose to to certain things. I always thought it was because it was as dimple as being a people pleaser but now im aware its much more then that, its because i want people to think of me as someone who always provides and doesn't fall behind everyone else. I want to be the first one people think of when they want someone to assist them with a task. I dont want to be forgotten about by others. This is definitely one of my favorite episodes so far:) love it.
Impulse - I really appreciate how openly you talk about wrestling with bad moods or dips in your mental health. I recently pulled myself out of a bad space, too. It's so comforting to hear others talking about dealing with it too! Thanks.
I absolutely LOVED this podcast! It was a beautiful spider web of our minds, you simply asking why, opens our minds more than we thought our minds capacity. Love you Guys!
Why? A question I've been asking my entire life. Something I'm always passionate about talking about but often am told to not care about or criticized for asking but for me if something doesn't have a why then it has no point and may as well not exist or just doesn't matter. Anything without reason is meaningless. Which makes talking with some people frustrating when they don't care to know why. 6:05 This is exactly the kinda conversations i love. 6:25 "Why do you care what people think about you?" I don't. Or at least i try not to. 7:14 This is exactly why i love these kinda conversations because you get to learn about how that person functions and make that genuine connection. 9:23 That too it becomes a thought experiment with certain why's and it's fun to theorize. 14:06 Often times people hurt others because they themselves are hurting and no one is there to help them. 15:12 That's a difference on strength of willpower and integrity. 19:26 Repetition or change. I don't enjoy r6 anymore because the game has changed too much. Your example is a perfect example for repetition. I hate when people accept stuff like that just because it's become the norm. I always ask questions about why and it just kills the conversation when people just don't want to entertain exploring why. A common one is i ask why certain things are named what they are. 25:38 Filler words are part of your brain buffering. Though they can also be used for emphasis or comedic effect. 30:27 We need a little buffering bar above peoples heads for those moments. 36:10 I feel like I'm one of the only people that has to have a why behind everything i do. 40:14 She really should have communicated that herself. (Of course it's not my relationship so it's not my place to say and if you're both happy with things then that your buisness not mine but for myself that wouldn't fly. I am open and clear with stuff like that and i want the people around me to be open and clear with me in the same manner.) I believe it's good to be considerate of others but you can't be considerate if you don't know what they want you to be considerate of. It's a persons responsibility to communicate their needs and desires to those around them. And it's the people around them that then need to be considerate of those needs when communicated but they can't do that if the person doesn't communicate those with them. 50:03 Because people want different things. What makes one happy might make someone else miserable. I have to disagree on happiness being a choice. I think you can influence it somewhat, like slightly, but it's definitely not a choice at least in my experience.
Also a Buddhist monk, and I am sorry but I forgot his name, said something amazing about how to deal with negative people/comments. Don't eat what they are serving you. If you were a guest at their house and they served you a plate of refuse you would not eat it. In the same way when someone says a mean thing towards you, you do not have to accept it.
Bowing to someone is meant to be a sign of trust and subservience. Lowing your gaze and exposing the top of your head puts you in a vulnerable position. In that moment of a gesture, you are telling the other person that you respect and trust them enough to expose yourself to potential harm. This is why it became such a statement/requirement for rulers.
Hi Imp and Skizz! Just want to thank you both for your work. I'm preparing for an international move, and my cat has gone to be with her new family today. I'm feeling really down so I just want to thank you for being a great way to take my mind of things as I pack and sort. 💙
Aside from the psychological and philosophical reasons to ask "why", there is also a practical side that makes it much more powerful than "what" and "how". When learning a new thing, "why" leads you to a more thorough and powerful understanding than those other questions. For example, when learning math at school, one route is to just memorize the "how"s, and that gets you past the course material, but if you seek the "why" that underlies the formulas and procedures that you're memorizing, then you come to a level of understanding that you can more easily apply to other (perhaps more complex) problems. Another example (that hits closer to home, perhaps!) is redstone. A person that has a bunch of redstone mechanisms memorized (knowing "what"/"how"), isn't quite as advanced as someone that knows "why" each element behaves the way it does, and is therefore more able to recombine the pieces into new mechanisms.
25:17 - as an Israeli; its like "uhhh, ehhhh, emmmm" but theres also כאילו ("ke-il-u") (also often shortened to "ki-lu" in daytoday speach (like how u say cam-ra not ca-me-ra) which is the equivalent for "like", literally translating to "similarly to" or one of the many meanings of "like".
Ended up listening to this podcast for the first time for the Tango interview, now addicted and it certainly helps pass the time whilst on the Minecraft resource grind. Keep up the good work guys. 👍
There was a lady who was preparing to cook a roast, and her daughter asked her why she always cut it in half. The lady told her daughter that it was something her mom always did. Later, the question still in her mind, she was talking to her mom and asked her why she always cut the roast in half. Her mom responded that her mother always did that. So, the lady goes to her grandmother and asked her why. Her grandmother replied: "Because I didn't have a big enough pan." Sometimes our why's are because it's simply something we've grown up with, and we don't realize until the questions asked.
Animals are a different level of compassion. Here is this creature that loves you, unconditionally, and would do anything to protect you and yours. Cats are a bit different than this, but they can also be very loving. My cat has a nightly routine where he crawls onto me every night and wants to nuzzle under my chin. Then i have another cat that ignores us unless it is dinner time, then he is one of the most loving animals i have had.
One of the things about dogs and cats too - those who really love their pets consider them to be part of the family, just as much as a human child is. So we are greatly offended by the idea that someone would deliberately harm a pet, just as we would be offended by harm to a child. The pets are part of our pack and the pets know that too and depend on us. There have been many stories of dogs and cats going above and beyond logic to protect or help their owners, all because they believe us to be part of their family too. And there is also a lot to be said for coming home at the end of a rough day and having someone be so outrageously happy to see us. It makes us feel valued and loved
In my opinion, questioning Why, is the first step into becoming a free thinker. Its not a matter of changing your opinions or understanding, its about accepting that other people have constructed an understanding from their own experiences and exposures. Love watching you both, keep up the fun yet insightful conversations.
I really think if Skizz had the emotional energy for it, he would make a great psychologist and therapist. Listening to Skizz talk about people responding differently to good and bad childhoods makes me think of one of my favourite topics. The bio-psycho-social “gun” analogy. You biology (how you are wired) is the gun, psychology (how you respond to things) is the bullet, and how you are socialised is the trigger. You could have identical twins with the same biology and same social environment, but they will likely have different psychologies so they would commonly react to things very differently and so on.
I was curious about this so I looked into it, but the reason for why some people end up better people even though they didn't have a great start and others just end up jerks has to do with this thing called the emotional baseline. It's supposed to be the average amount of serotonin you have when you're just chilling. Some people are really lucky and have a naturally high baseline, and some people just don't. It's controlled by your genetics which is kinda screwed because that means that some people were literally just born happier or sadder than others. It's also why depression and addiction are considered genetic traits, because some people are literally built to be more susceptible to it
You guys are having fun with these intros, aren't you? I just had to pause there for this comment. Might as well add that I decided to watch this instead of anything else because I know you two always make my stress levels go down, and I'm almost crying from it. Thanks in advance!
I totally agree that people need to ask “why” more often. I’ve had times when someone asks me how I’m doing, I say I’m not okay, and that person walks away not caring enough to ask.It’s sad and I think I’m going to challenge myself to notice the whys as well.
i love the podcasts so much, i listen to them over and over again, there's something so real and comforting about two lifelong friends talking, sharing experiences and motivating and influencing us to become better. i remember in one of the podcasts working out was brought up and how mrs impulse and mrs skizz were doing an amazing job at it and imp and skizz were not satisfied with their journey and it hit me like a train, the discussion of being good enough for your partner and striving to be better not only for you but to keep the appeal really stuck with me and ever since i've been making a bigger effort. thank you for being so inspirational and so vulnerable ❤
I love you guys but I immediately hyperfocused in on the last why - why are some people happy and some aren't. And impulse- you said because it's a state of mind you have control over. What about those with severe depression or BPD or other mental health issues that have chemical imbalances? So many people think I'm happy... but I have depression that hits me every day (and other issues that I won't go into. I'm a therapists dream.. or nightmare depending on how you look at it haha.) Even with decades of therapy, the intrusive thoughts are there.. It's more than just choosing to be happy sometimes. I'd love to always be happy. But there are definitely mental imbalances that can take you from being the happiest person to suddenly not wanting to be alive and being sad and miserable. That's not always a choice. The brain sometimes is cruel. So I think another answer to why is our brains themselves. People who aren't happy don't always chose it. It could be you caught them in a depressive episode, or that they are having a really bad mental or physical pain day and don't have the spoons to appear happy. Plus so many people that seem happy.. it's just a mask. I just wanted to add in my 2 cents because that did sound ableist to those with mental issues and I know you're not trying to insult people. "just controlling it and fixing it" doesnt work for everyone. I love that you are a genuinely wonderful and happy guy and almost innocent with your answer. But just know that sometimes it's not that easy for people with severe mental disabilities.
oh goddess, my dad does that not giving a cue that he's thinking thing. I'd ask him a question, figure out that he probably didn't hear it (he's hard of hearing), and half an hour later be surprised with deeply thought out answer. i actully love how much he cares for the answer to be reasonable, total opposite of what my mom does. i think she says stuff before she'd think them.
Ooh, Skizz, this is one of the very few things we have in common! (I am so similar to Impulse lol) The Ender’s Game universe is one of my favourite sci-fi universes. I enjoyed Ender’s Shadow too but my favourite of the series is Speaker for the Dead where it’s shown that actions have consequences and Ender chooses to face those consequences, not because of anything he was forced to do, but because of his guilt and moral code and trying to set things right… which is impossible but he tries. It’s beautiful prose. I may have to reread it for the nth time. One of the few paperbacks I have left since I’ve switched to audible. Have you read it?
Lol Impulse, you're not the only one. I never get an indication that my wife hears what I've said. Most of the times she does listen, but is just processing it silently, or finishing something else first, and then come back to thing I said (almost like she has recorded it in her head or something). But in some of the cases, she's just filtering it out like it wasn't said against her, so I'm always in the dark. :')
Kudos to Mrs. Impulse for her amazing style sense. It goes very deep. For instance, the thinker behind Skizz and the clock behind Impulse. Why is that clock stopped? Is this a place for Impulse to calm down and relax?
it was while listening to this podcast and working on my english assignment rationale when I realised "what I was hoping to achieve with my work", in other words: WHY I wrote what I wrote, turns out, for fun. Grades completely to the side (although knowing me, that'll give me a D or something). But it means I have something for my rationale to conclude to, so thank you.
Lmao the very last Skizz's response was hilarious! "Do what?" Wow, i stumbled across your podcasts when you invited Tango, but now i see that you pick really interesting topics and i really loved it. Watched every second of it, good work, friends!
I just figured out the clock (I think), I hated it, and now I love it! Awesome piece of set design! Keep up te good work, love listening to the two of you talk
sooo, i am binge watching your podcasts either while i work or more often when i am playing mc. you guys sometimes metion how your talks change lives and for most it's the "what's stopping you?" episode.... i think mine is this. i am having some revelations about my procrastination and other stuff just cos i never stop to think about it, its just noise in my head or distractions. maybe it's too soon to say it's going anywhere, but if it does ill be back for an update
On a similar note to being silent on the radio, if no noise is present for a long enough time, an emergency tape will start playing, so there is a strong aversion to silence
I absolutely LOVE Ender’s Shadow. Did you see he published the conclusion to the series in 2021? It’s called The Last Shadow. Also, great podcast overall just excited to hear someone else likes that book.
Asking Why and spinning of is a good way to interrogate ideas. Like Impulse saying why he showered that morning as “he doesn’t want to offend people with his funk”, by starting with why he could further interrogate with a bit of metaphysical question. “So, if you knew for a fact you’d not encounter anyone else that day to offend, would you still shower?” If the answer is Yes, you can really crack the hood on motive. Am I doing this because of a socially conscious reason or is it just a habit?
People being sad or happy, is very complex and reducing that to the idea of choice is too simplistic and is a bit toxic in Positive Thinking pop psychology. Everything changes, but some people are stuck in the negative. People can get stuck in sadness, and often breaking out of that is not their choice anymore. They have been stuck too long, that is the mental health aspect and outside help and where some people will just on band wagon of just "suck it up". Why! Our curiosity, our desire to solve things, challenge our assumptions, try to understand our astonishment, explore, engagement with the world and being more informed and thoughful.
Great podcast. Wonderful topic! BTW -- the comedy bit you're thinking about (or at least the one you reminded me of) with all the Whys was Louis C. K. [Careful if you look that one up. His language is a little rough, unless you find him on the Tonight Show or Letterman or something ...]
I am so loving you both. Love the intro. But Why... I had a abusive life as a child.. But Why did I choose to be the opposite.. I tried to do good. Yes sometimes I failed.. It drives me nuts that I could not be perfect. Human are hardwired to look at the negative.. The reason is way back in our dna... It was ment to keep us safe. A negaative issue would warn you not to do that again or be there or do that. So it kept us safe. But today... we dont have so many of those dangerous but the hardwire is still there. We have to work so hard to be aware.
I think that filler words like “um” are used to signify that you’re not done talking. If you leave silence, then people might think that you’re done talking so people tend to use filler words to signify that there’s more to come.
The umms and noises we do i think it's because when we are asked a question or opionion or whatever, it's just us recalculating and basically saying "Ok, I heard your question and now I'm thinking how to answer you", cause if we were to remain silent it could be misunderstood as "I did not heard you" or "keep speaking", you know?
For the fillers, and specifically for looking for a folde or something. For me, I use it as an indicator that I am indeed looking, and i am indeed aware of the time slipping by. for being on the phone or something, its to show that yes, i am listening.
The beginning is definitely the vibes of when you walk in a room and immediately know you screwed up. Like opening the wrong car door and having to deal with the shame lol
my guess on filler words and sounds is more so a subconscious way to let the others know you're not done talking yet so to speak, rather than it only being a need to fill the silence. cause if your brain blanks and you go audibly silent, rather than use a filler, people will assume that the quiet is a cue to speak up themselves. This is simply a guess, and I of course could be very wrong. Love listening to the podcast!
I try to please people because I feel good when the people around me are happy. That simple. I feel useful and valuable. Like anyone, I want a community who cares about me. Like many, I don't feel like I have this. that's a scary thing, really.
I think I say "eeh" and "um" to let people know that i'm not done talking, or as a kind of "hold on while i do this" or "hold on while i try to find my words"
I'm at 15:03 and I just need to say (from someone who has an abusive mother( I am safe now) ) I can't imagine hurting a kid but I am at the same time horrified to have kids, because what if I do hurt them. I know that some of the stuff my mom said still pops up in the back of my head as the truth even about things I know isn't, and it feels like I have a huge grayzoon in my brain on one side is things I now know are lies and on the other side is what I know are true but with all the weird things that she said it feels impossible to figure out...
Here's a good subject line to follow up with. "What if?" There's a history book series called what if, things that could have happened differently throughout history. And it's a good food for thought subject.
For me use the word "So" as a filler...I do a lot of stimming noises as well that is to fill that blank space to keep my mind engaged enough to not disengage from the conversation while some kind of action/product is lagging or producing slower than the pacing of my conversation.
That first 18 seconds was weird and I'm all for it lol
I genuinely cracked up at Skizz's serious face. Brilliant.
yes but Why?
I missed last week but here's my weekly petition for Mrs Tango to be a guest on the podcast. She is such a fun and lovely and funny person and I would love to hear her perspective as the wife of a full time content creator.
dude what week are you on?
Could we also have a weekly petition for a new battery in the clock behind Impulse 😂😂😂
@@ngzninjaking5287 lol 12 weeks. Minus I guess last week cause I missed it
@@piorfino why do you want mrs tango on the podcast?
@playstyle516 because she has a different perspective of Tango, she is another person who is highly charismatic and lively and she can give insights and ideas that have so far been unexplored on this podcast. Notice how all the guests have been male? I really hope they interview some of the women they know or have in their lives. Not because they have to be diverse for diverse sake, but because those women (ex: pearl, gem, Mrs tango, stressmonster, false) are genuinely interesting people have different lived experiences that would be awesome to hear about.
My question you, why not have her on the podcast?
Impulse. Years ago your tutorials were the first MC content I consumed and led to me watching and loving Hermitcraft. Fast forward to this past year and my son was born at 23 weeks, leading to a 4 months hospital stay for him and 4 months of daily NICU visits for his mom and me. It was the most stressful time of my life and you and Skizz and the other Hermits were a huge part of the entertainment that kept me sane through it. Now you guys are my primary entertainment in the middle of the night when I’m giving him a bottle or rocking him to sleep. Thank you so much for that, and I hope it provides you with a little something for the “Why” list
Ayy podcast time!
I know y'all have talked about Scar being a guest...he mentioned in a recent stream that he loves your podcast and that he'd even fly to Arizona to be on it!
So, even if he wouldn't fly there, he's definitely down to be a guest!
That would be an awesome episode!!! I don't care if they do it over zoom even, just want them to get together.
I'm not a regular listener, but I put this one on briefly out of curiousity and suddenly an hour had gone by and I was engaged the whole time. You guys have a serious talent for conversation and I'm looking forward to going through the back catalog to catch up on what I've been missing out on!
Very true, I first listened last week and now I’m sure I won’t miss another episode 😅
Good choice!
Went on that journey about 3 weeks ago. I envy you, my friend.
Also did the exact same thing about a month ago!
Right?! I love these two! hahahahaha
“Why do I crave comfortable? Why do I crave what I know?” Oooofffffffffff hit me right in my feels.
Well it's called a "comfort zone" for a reason I guess. 😅
What is equally powerful is the power of "why not". Many times I hear people ask "why?" in a way as complaining. Like "Why me?" or "Why now?". By adding the word "not" after "why" it changed my perspective a lot. "Why not me?" and "Why not now?"
🤔 good point!
49:52 - "Why are some people happy and some people aren't?"
I just love everything about this question and this discussion between Imp and Skizz. Sometimes it's tough to be happy, to see the positives in life, but I can take solace in knowing that there is always a choice in the matter. Thanks for the wise words, you two!
This one left me thinking over it as well. It also reminded me of a post that essentially said, for some it can be uncomfortable to be happy so they default to their comfort of being unhappy. It's weird to think that being unhappy is a comfort, but when you have conditioned yourself (or have been conditioned), into thinking and acting a certain way, doing the opposite may not feel right. Even if it's something that makes you feel good. Maybe it goes with imposter syndrome a bit.
I wanted to address that statement of "you choose to be happy or not". Before I do, please know that I love this podcast, I love you 2, you guys are awesome, you're my role models, and I personally identify a lot with Impulse. And to be fair, Impulse did address the mental health aspect and that it might be more difficult for some. Just to add on to what was said, I think that statement of "you choose to be happy or not" largely applies to neuro-typical people, but not really to neuro-divergent people. I know it sounds like I'm being pedantic, but I noticed that if I see these 2 as role models, then I am sure others do too. I can't speak for everyone but I often catch myself just blatantly believing whatever my role models say.
In this situation however, I am neuro-divergent and I cannot tell you HOW INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATING it is to deal with 'intrusive thoughts' - Thoughts that invade whether I want them to or not (I actually have no control over this). Yes, I ultimately still have control over whether I want to be happy or not. But I cannot begin to describe how derailing/annoying/difficult it can be when I am happy, when my whole day has been good, when I am currently in a good mood, and then my brain is just like 'Hey! Remember when ....? LET'S BE ANGRY NOW!'. When my brain wants to be angry and the rest of me knows, logically, I have no reason to be. Those are the moments when I actually have no control over that aspect of myself. Like I am at odds with my own brain. And that makes it difficult to interact with people, makes me self-conscious when I know I am inconveniencing them, when I want to express pride or bewilderment in someone else's achievements, but all I can feel is envy. It actually makes me despise myself which only perpetuates the cycle. But worst of all, because others don't understand it, people just see me as a selfish or negative person. And that, in and of itself, has other/further implications. But I've already written too much. What I'm trying to say is "you choose to be happy or not" is more like "you choose if you WANT to be happy or not". But for some, they expend most of the energy they have that day just TRYING to be happy. That leaves us completely drained and can severely affect how we respond to people. I imagine, for neuro-typical people, it would be similar to watching every single word that comes out of your mouth and trying to be on your best behaviour with proper manners (as if you were at dinner with royalty) for the entire day. Because that's actually what it feels like for me. I actually had to go through CBT and DBT (deep counseling to develop skills meant to work around this issue and challenge my thoughts), only to be able to more quickly challenge these thoughts as they invade. But it doesn't stop the invasion of the thoughts. And MANY people in my situation do no have the means to access this training.
All of this is to say, for some, they don't have the luxury to choose if they want to be happy or not. It is chosen for them by random firings of neurons in their brain and often spirals into MANY worse things (worse mental health issues, worse self image issues, may even result in them lashing out on a social/societal level, or worse), unless they can (a) access help AND (b) aren't already too deep into the mental health rabbit hole to realize how life changing help can be.
I just wanted to say this, not to 'correct' Impulse and Skizz, but to shed some additional light on something that I think was overlooked in this podcast. But please, Imp, Skizz, don't see this as negative criticism. I never would have had the IMPULSE ( :D ), the venue, or found the words to describe something like this if you hadn't started the conversation :) So thank you very much for that!
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Side note:
lol, just so everyone else knows, "eh" isn't a filler word for us Canadians (usually). We mostly use it as a question similar to "do you agree?" E.g. "That was a cool movie eh?" Sometimes you'll see someone using "eh" as a filler (e.g. "ehhhhhh ... I don't know") but that's more of a personal quirk and is usually just their preferred sound rather than "uuhhhhhhhhh". - Opinion of a south-Ontarian who has tons of influence from America and doesn't really have a typical "Canadian" accent. It might be different in different parts of Canada. But I have travelled Canada a bunch and this seems to be the norm.
It's like the British "innit."
I watched a bunch of Canadian TV at one point in my life..."eh" became part of my vocabulary for a while!
@@justcallmeness ooooo that's interesting! Growing up, I couldn't stand Canadian TV. I preferred British and American TV hahahaha. But I can totally see that!
As an Autism family, I totally agree that you can not just choose to be happy..some days the brain has other ideas. And many ASD people suffer with depression and anxiety which makes choosing happy difficult.
Thank you for saying this! I just listened to it and had the same thought, and it made me feel so incredibly sad. I feel like I'm such a failure. I'm taking in everything around me, and it's so draining. I feel like an old pc running with 100 tabs open. Each working on their own thing, resulting in complete exhaustion. Someone I talked to once said that a neuro typical brain filters out the stuff it doesn't need. A neuro diverse brain doesn't have that same ability. It's hard having a conversation with someone when you're always reading their body language, listening to the tone of their voice, questioning why they said what they said, why they left something out, wondering what they think about you, trying to say the correct things in the correct way, making sure not to over share, pondering whether or not you're standing too close, asking yourself if you are taking up too much space in the conversation, feeling like a fraud, trying to mirror the other person.... And afterwards flaming yourself for your performance in the conversation.
Executive dysfunction, depression, masking, anxiety, guilt.... I'm so tired 😞
I want to be happy. I don't know how to. My brain won't let me just be free.
I do love this podcast though, and I want to start asking myself Why. Perhaps it's what I need. Maybe asking why will get me to a better place than asking what I'll have to do to find a purpose in life.
I'm ready to find out 😃
It's like you opened my brain and read it. The struggle is real some days.
If I didn't already know Skizz edits these, that cut at the end would have been enough to tell me. 😂
1:01:01 "When somebody behaves this way, they're either having a really bad day, or a really bad life."
Reminds of when I was 19, I had worked a summer job being a leader at a kid's summer day camp. There were these two sisters, one 5 and one 8. From the start of the summer, they drove me insane. They were being downright awful kids. Throwing tantrums, causing trouble every turn, and just being- in full honesty- brats. They were only there Mondays and Wednesdays, but I dreaded those days because of how much I did not like them. Until about half way through the summer, I asked myself one day when the eldest got in trouble, why did she do this? I listened to both sides of the story; the boys were mad at her because she bit them, she lashed out because they told her she couldn't play with them, and she was lonely. I taught her that physical actions are not how to reply to things, especially when upset. I also asked her "Sweetie, and if you don't want to answer this, that's fine- you don't have to, But when you act like this, is it because things aren't great at home?" I asked her this because I had noticed as well during the summer the signs of not having a great home life; angry father, dismissive mother, worn out clothes that no longer fit. She sniffled amidst her ugly crying and nodded. I got her cleaned up, gave her a hug, and I told her that if she's ever upset by something, she can come to me about it and I would listen to her. She and her sister became some of my favorites before the end of the summer, and I don't think I will ever forget them. They would both be 10 and 13 now. I hope they're doing alright.
The eldest, I found that she was interested in art. I was majorly into drawing at the time too, so I often would spend time teaching her and some other kids some art tips and tricks. I remember one day she was showing me her sketchbook full of creatures she made. She was ashamed of them because she thought they were too weird. That's when I told her about character and creature design. I asked her to name her favorite show and her favorite characters. I told her that each character or creature was designed by someone, and that was that person's job; to design things. She looked at me as though the gates of heaven had been opened.
The youngest, she had her 6th birthday during that summer. She was so excited for it in the days and week leading to up to it. But day of, all the other kids cared about was the cupcakes her parents brought in. No one wanted to play with her. So i promised her that when we went swimming that day, I would play with her. And I did. I also sang to her a mildly altered version of the birthday song from Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses. She was beaming ear to ear.
I went from being so angry about my situation and what was going on; to asking why, and became support for 2 little ones who needed it most. Sometimes, if you ask "Why?" you change more than just yourself for the better.
25:11 - Impulse: “When I was in Israel”
I’m sorry what! You can’t just throw down a, I was in Israel and not elaborate. So my question to you impulse is “Why!”
If you guys had switched sides on the couch for the last scene of your opening bit, i would have LOST IT!😂😂
Why do we love Imp and Skizz so much?
It's the vibe and they talk about things no one else dose (as far as I know)
Because they are normal people, like us, but they choose to make the world a better place by uplifting others to the best of their ability.
That’s the answer that popped into my head. 🙃
Great comment, btw.
@@stargirl9114 Well said.
To have a friend who not only so strongly supports your friendship but also your marriage is truly a gift! The friendship between the two of you is so special and that’s what makes this podcast so great.
30:40 I found it really interesting that you brought up fillers in conversation and wanting to hear if someone is listening!
I've been studying Japanese for years so not a native speaker, but one of the early thing my teachers taught me was this cultural idea of active listening. It's basically putting in subtle "uh-huh", "yeah", "I see", etc in the middle of conversations without interrupting to let the person talking know you're engaged and listening.
I got so used to it in my studies that I still do it during my job in America and wonder if anyone thinks I'm rude 😅
うん
I always appreciate active listening👍
Hey, Imp and Skizz!! I just listened to this episode a couple of days ago and I had a conversation with my mom where I was able to ask her why and it helped me better understand her emotions.
For context, I’m going on a trip to see my girlfriend near the end of June and it’s a long drive from my house to where we’re staying. (Ftr we’re in a long distance relationship and rarely get to see each other in person)
My mom and I were chatting today and my mom expressed concern for me traveling so far on my own. Instead of lashing out and saying how I’m old enough to make my own decisions, I asked her why and was able to have a super productive and constructive conversation with my mom. So thanks for the handy advice, guys. Your podcast really is an inspiration for me.
That ending had me laughing my boat off 😂😂😂
This will be my new saying. "Laughing my boat off"
Often we don’t ask why because we don’t want to face the truth of why we do things. We crave safe comfortable people/situations because they are safe and we don’t have to worry about what we are doing or saying. I enjoyed this podcast..very insightful
I wanted to add something to the why, or why not, on happiness (excluding talks of mental illness.) Often times, we forget that a lot of what makes a person is in the moments that we don't see.
I've learned, mostly from being a parent of children with various disorders, that a lot of times, we forget that we need to teach our children how to learn, accept, adapt, and react. I always tell my kids that when something happens, you feel what you feel. You can't always control that. What you can control is how you react. It's not always easy. It can take practice. But it is under your control.
For some people, that knowledge might come naturally, but for many, we need to be taught. So, even if your parents tried to give you everything they thought you needed, but never taught you how to deal with various circumstances, you can really struggle.
But the important part, I think, is that it's never too late to learn.
The intro though 🤣🤣🤣 ...WHY
Loved it
Totally unrelated to the podcast but I just had a youtube bug where this video was in place of an MSNBC video so it was Impulse and Skiz staring into the camera with this title "See Fox News crash and burn over Tucker firing: Rob Reiner breakdown" One of the funniest things I have seen this week.
Being with a second person you get that instant reassurance that someone reacts positively to you
This one absolutely hit home with me this week. 'why' is one of my biggest struggles in everything i do. there's always gotta be a purpose or a why behind everything i put my time into and if there isnt a reason why then it drives me bonkers.
I hate doing busywork in relation to schoolwork and whenever i have to keep doing things over it bothers me because i learn very kinesthetically and oftentimes i one-and-done things. I taught myself how to draw and write and bookbind and work with clay and to do countless things and even now i've taking on making cosplay and things from eva foam as my next big projects to throw myself into. It feels like a waste of time when i have to repeat things. and then i ask myself why and thats when i start to dig things up.
I also really relate to the whole 'why do i want people to like me --> so i can control them --> so i feel safe' pipeline. I never even realized that until now.
(I totally get the filler words thing too i have a younger brother who drives me bonkers because i need that sort of feedback to feel listened to and heard and he just doesn't communicate in the same way so it's hard sometimes)
but why is a very very powerful word thanks so much for putting out this podcast.
I'm trying to start my own podcast with my dad, but I have debilitating mic-fright to the point where you put me on a mic and my voice just disappears. Mostly going back to the 'what if i screw up what if i do something wrong' fear that's fed into my wanting to please others. do you guys have any advice for getting past that sort of thing?
Must be honest when you were both looking at the camera with impulse a little closer I felt like you were looking into my soul! Great show and very interesting topic 👍
I think the um and like stuff is all about not being interrupted. You say a sentence, and have more to say, but you still need just a moment to think before you can say it. I saw a tip about this saying you should take intentional pauses, just a bit earlier in your sentence, when it's really clear you aren't done, and this lets you get through stuff without signaling that you're done, but instead signaling that you are still going.
Impulse, the problem with removing filter words/sounds is that you tend to replace them instead with something else. "You know?" "Like" [repeating yourself or the other person] are just a few examples. But the silence is still worse.
That ending "Do what?" Was perfect.😂
The silent beginning was freaky! But fun. It's good Skizz had some insight into Mrs Impulse & the Murphy Bed that day, and lovely that Mrs Impulse wanted to show support with your studio and be part of it's coming into being.
Skizz, the question about bowing reminded me of an old black and white movie called The King and I. The king had a rule that nobody's head could be higher than his, and he teased a tutor for his children by lowering himself repeatedly so she would have to lower herself as well. Eventually being down on the floor. It has been many years since I seen that movie, but now I want to watch it again and see what I have forgotten about it.
Yul Brenner was amazing in that. "When I sit you shall sit. When I kneeeel you shall kneel...ect. ect ect."
Congrats, center camera, you tha real MVP.
The eipsode really helped me realize why i choose to to certain things. I always thought it was because it was as dimple as being a people pleaser but now im aware its much more then that, its because i want people to think of me as someone who always provides and doesn't fall behind everyone else. I want to be the first one people think of when they want someone to assist them with a task. I dont want to be forgotten about by others.
This is definitely one of my favorite episodes so far:) love it.
Impulse - I really appreciate how openly you talk about wrestling with bad moods or dips in your mental health. I recently pulled myself out of a bad space, too. It's so comforting to hear others talking about dealing with it too! Thanks.
Impulse, you really need to put a battery in that little clock over your shoulder lol
I absolutely LOVED this podcast! It was a beautiful spider web of our minds, you simply asking why, opens our minds more than we thought our minds capacity. Love you Guys!
Why?
A question I've been asking my entire life.
Something I'm always passionate about talking about but often am told to not care about or criticized for asking but for me if something doesn't have a why then it has no point and may as well not exist or just doesn't matter.
Anything without reason is meaningless.
Which makes talking with some people frustrating when they don't care to know why.
6:05
This is exactly the kinda conversations i love.
6:25
"Why do you care what people think about you?"
I don't. Or at least i try not to.
7:14
This is exactly why i love these kinda conversations because you get to learn about how that person functions and make that genuine connection.
9:23
That too it becomes a thought experiment with certain why's and it's fun to theorize.
14:06
Often times people hurt others because they themselves are hurting and no one is there to help them.
15:12
That's a difference on strength of willpower and integrity.
19:26
Repetition or change.
I don't enjoy r6 anymore because the game has changed too much.
Your example is a perfect example for repetition.
I hate when people accept stuff like that just because it's become the norm.
I always ask questions about why and it just kills the conversation when people just don't want to entertain exploring why.
A common one is i ask why certain things are named what they are.
25:38
Filler words are part of your brain buffering.
Though they can also be used for emphasis or comedic effect.
30:27
We need a little buffering bar above peoples heads for those moments.
36:10
I feel like I'm one of the only people that has to have a why behind everything i do.
40:14
She really should have communicated that herself.
(Of course it's not my relationship so it's not my place to say and if you're both happy with things then that your buisness not mine but for myself that wouldn't fly. I am open and clear with stuff like that and i want the people around me to be open and clear with me in the same manner.)
I believe it's good to be considerate of others but you can't be considerate if you don't know what they want you to be considerate of.
It's a persons responsibility to communicate their needs and desires to those around them.
And it's the people around them that then need to be considerate of those needs when communicated but they can't do that if the person doesn't communicate those with them.
50:03
Because people want different things.
What makes one happy might make someone else miserable.
I have to disagree on happiness being a choice.
I think you can influence it somewhat, like slightly, but it's definitely not a choice at least in my experience.
Also a Buddhist monk, and I am sorry but I forgot his name, said something amazing about how to deal with negative people/comments. Don't eat what they are serving you. If you were a guest at their house and they served you a plate of refuse you would not eat it. In the same way when someone says a mean thing towards you, you do not have to accept it.
You guys gotta get Etho on here, (not in person obviously,) imagine how cool that would be...
Bowing to someone is meant to be a sign of trust and subservience. Lowing your gaze and exposing the top of your head puts you in a vulnerable position. In that moment of a gesture, you are telling the other person that you respect and trust them enough to expose yourself to potential harm. This is why it became such a statement/requirement for rulers.
Hi Imp and Skizz! Just want to thank you both for your work.
I'm preparing for an international move, and my cat has gone to be with her new family today. I'm feeling really down so I just want to thank you for being a great way to take my mind of things as I pack and sort. 💙
Aside from the psychological and philosophical reasons to ask "why", there is also a practical side that makes it much more powerful than "what" and "how". When learning a new thing, "why" leads you to a more thorough and powerful understanding than those other questions.
For example, when learning math at school, one route is to just memorize the "how"s, and that gets you past the course material, but if you seek the "why" that underlies the formulas and procedures that you're memorizing, then you come to a level of understanding that you can more easily apply to other (perhaps more complex) problems.
Another example (that hits closer to home, perhaps!) is redstone. A person that has a bunch of redstone mechanisms memorized (knowing "what"/"how"), isn't quite as advanced as someone that knows "why" each element behaves the way it does, and is therefore more able to recombine the pieces into new mechanisms.
25:17 - as an Israeli; its like "uhhh, ehhhh, emmmm" but theres also כאילו ("ke-il-u") (also often shortened to "ki-lu" in daytoday speach (like how u say cam-ra not ca-me-ra) which is the equivalent for "like", literally translating to "similarly to" or one of the many meanings of "like".
Ended up listening to this podcast for the first time for the Tango interview, now addicted and it certainly helps pass the time whilst on the Minecraft resource grind. Keep up the good work guys. 👍
There was a lady who was preparing to cook a roast, and her daughter asked her why she always cut it in half. The lady told her daughter that it was something her mom always did. Later, the question still in her mind, she was talking to her mom and asked her why she always cut the roast in half. Her mom responded that her mother always did that. So, the lady goes to her grandmother and asked her why. Her grandmother replied: "Because I didn't have a big enough pan."
Sometimes our why's are because it's simply something we've grown up with, and we don't realize until the questions asked.
Animals are a different level of compassion. Here is this creature that loves you, unconditionally, and would do anything to protect you and yours. Cats are a bit different than this, but they can also be very loving. My cat has a nightly routine where he crawls onto me every night and wants to nuzzle under my chin. Then i have another cat that ignores us unless it is dinner time, then he is one of the most loving animals i have had.
One of the things about dogs and cats too - those who really love their pets consider them to be part of the family, just as much as a human child is. So we are greatly offended by the idea that someone would deliberately harm a pet, just as we would be offended by harm to a child. The pets are part of our pack and the pets know that too and depend on us. There have been many stories of dogs and cats going above and beyond logic to protect or help their owners, all because they believe us to be part of their family too. And there is also a lot to be said for coming home at the end of a rough day and having someone be so outrageously happy to see us. It makes us feel valued and loved
In my opinion, questioning Why, is the first step into becoming a free thinker. Its not a matter of changing your opinions or understanding, its about accepting that other people have constructed an understanding from their own experiences and exposures.
Love watching you both, keep up the fun yet insightful conversations.
Absolutely love the intro btw! Had to rewatch it a few times 😅 definitely make that a short!
I really think if Skizz had the emotional energy for it, he would make a great psychologist and therapist.
Listening to Skizz talk about people responding differently to good and bad childhoods makes me think of one of my favourite topics. The bio-psycho-social “gun” analogy. You biology (how you are wired) is the gun, psychology (how you respond to things) is the bullet, and how you are socialised is the trigger. You could have identical twins with the same biology and same social environment, but they will likely have different psychologies so they would commonly react to things very differently and so on.
I was curious about this so I looked into it, but the reason for why some people end up better people even though they didn't have a great start and others just end up jerks has to do with this thing called the emotional baseline. It's supposed to be the average amount of serotonin you have when you're just chilling. Some people are really lucky and have a naturally high baseline, and some people just don't. It's controlled by your genetics which is kinda screwed because that means that some people were literally just born happier or sadder than others. It's also why depression and addiction are considered genetic traits, because some people are literally built to be more susceptible to it
You guys are having fun with these intros, aren't you? I just had to pause there for this comment. Might as well add that I decided to watch this instead of anything else because I know you two always make my stress levels go down, and I'm almost crying from it. Thanks in advance!
I totally agree that people need to ask “why” more often. I’ve had times when someone asks me how I’m doing, I say I’m not okay, and that person walks away not caring enough to ask.It’s sad and I think I’m going to challenge myself to notice the whys as well.
i love the podcasts so much, i listen to them over and over again, there's something so real and comforting about two lifelong friends talking, sharing experiences and motivating and influencing us to become better. i remember in one of the podcasts working out was brought up and how mrs impulse and mrs skizz were doing an amazing job at it and imp and skizz were not satisfied with their journey and it hit me like a train, the discussion of being good enough for your partner and striving to be better not only for you but to keep the appeal really stuck with me and ever since i've been making a bigger effort.
thank you for being so inspirational and so vulnerable ❤
Crazy! Enders shadow is my favorite book of all time too! Bean is such a compelling character.
I loved the intro! It just cracks me up!
I also loved the subject you both talked about. It’s very thought provoking.
Always so insightful. Love this pod cast.
I love you guys but I immediately hyperfocused in on the last why - why are some people happy and some aren't. And impulse- you said because it's a state of mind you have control over. What about those with severe depression or BPD or other mental health issues that have chemical imbalances? So many people think I'm happy... but I have depression that hits me every day (and other issues that I won't go into. I'm a therapists dream.. or nightmare depending on how you look at it haha.) Even with decades of therapy, the intrusive thoughts are there.. It's more than just choosing to be happy sometimes. I'd love to always be happy. But there are definitely mental imbalances that can take you from being the happiest person to suddenly not wanting to be alive and being sad and miserable. That's not always a choice. The brain sometimes is cruel. So I think another answer to why is our brains themselves. People who aren't happy don't always chose it. It could be you caught them in a depressive episode, or that they are having a really bad mental or physical pain day and don't have the spoons to appear happy. Plus so many people that seem happy.. it's just a mask. I just wanted to add in my 2 cents because that did sound ableist to those with mental issues and I know you're not trying to insult people. "just controlling it and fixing it" doesnt work for everyone. I love that you are a genuinely wonderful and happy guy and almost innocent with your answer. But just know that sometimes it's not that easy for people with severe mental disabilities.
oh goddess, my dad does that not giving a cue that he's thinking thing. I'd ask him a question, figure out that he probably didn't hear it (he's hard of hearing), and half an hour later be surprised with deeply thought out answer. i actully love how much he cares for the answer to be reasonable, total opposite of what my mom does. i think she says stuff before she'd think them.
Haven't even watched the episode yet - just want to say that was the BEST intro I have seen on ANY youtube video! Laughing so hard my mom got annoyed!
Ooh, Skizz, this is one of the very few things we have in common! (I am so similar to Impulse lol) The Ender’s Game universe is one of my favourite sci-fi universes.
I enjoyed Ender’s Shadow too but my favourite of the series is Speaker for the Dead where it’s shown that actions have consequences and Ender chooses to face those consequences, not because of anything he was forced to do, but because of his guilt and moral code and trying to set things right… which is impossible but he tries. It’s beautiful prose.
I may have to reread it for the nth time. One of the few paperbacks I have left since I’ve switched to audible. Have you read it?
That intro had me bellylaughing in 2 seconds 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 You guys are great!
Lol Impulse, you're not the only one. I never get an indication that my wife hears what I've said. Most of the times she does listen, but is just processing it silently, or finishing something else first, and then come back to thing I said (almost like she has recorded it in her head or something). But in some of the cases, she's just filtering it out like it wasn't said against her, so I'm always in the dark. :')
Omg, i totally missed this opening! I was listening to this on Spotify and hopped over to leave a comment and just see both of you deadpan. 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣
Kudos to Mrs. Impulse for her amazing style sense. It goes very deep. For instance, the thinker behind Skizz and the clock behind Impulse. Why is that clock stopped? Is this a place for Impulse to calm down and relax?
it was while listening to this podcast and working on my english assignment rationale when I realised "what I was hoping to achieve with my work", in other words: WHY I wrote what I wrote, turns out, for fun. Grades completely to the side (although knowing me, that'll give me a D or something). But it means I have something for my rationale to conclude to, so thank you.
Lmao the very last Skizz's response was hilarious! "Do what?"
Wow, i stumbled across your podcasts when you invited Tango, but now i see that you pick really interesting topics and i really loved it. Watched every second of it, good work, friends!
I just figured out the clock (I think), I hated it, and now I love it! Awesome piece of set design! Keep up te good work, love listening to the two of you talk
That cut at the end 😂😂😂 gotta love Skizz's comedy!
sooo, i am binge watching your podcasts either while i work or more often when i am playing mc. you guys sometimes metion how your talks change lives and for most it's the "what's stopping you?" episode.... i think mine is this. i am having some revelations about my procrastination and other stuff just cos i never stop to think about it, its just noise in my head or distractions. maybe it's too soon to say it's going anywhere, but if it does ill be back for an update
Okay the fact that Skizz was friends with the dude who plays Eugene on TWD just blew my mind.
Same here. I literary stopped what I was doing and was glued to the screen.
Why have I gone down the rabbit hole listening for 12-13 hours today to catch up coz I listened for the first time this morning. Xx
On a similar note to being silent on the radio, if no noise is present for a long enough time, an emergency tape will start playing, so there is a strong aversion to silence
I absolutely LOVE Ender’s Shadow. Did you see he published the conclusion to the series in 2021? It’s called The Last Shadow. Also, great podcast overall just excited to hear someone else likes that book.
Asking Why and spinning of is a good way to interrogate ideas. Like Impulse saying why he showered that morning as “he doesn’t want to offend people with his funk”, by starting with why he could further interrogate with a bit of metaphysical question. “So, if you knew for a fact you’d not encounter anyone else that day to offend, would you still shower?” If the answer is Yes, you can really crack the hood on motive. Am I doing this because of a socially conscious reason or is it just a habit?
i always put your podcast on during my lunch break, awesome show!
This was the best opening ever 😂😂 i litterally LOLed
This episode is one of my favourite episodes to the show! Imagine "How" the next installment of the episode of "How" can be?
People being sad or happy, is very complex and reducing that to the idea of choice is too simplistic and is a bit toxic in Positive Thinking pop psychology. Everything changes, but some people are stuck in the negative. People can get stuck in sadness, and often breaking out of that is not their choice anymore. They have been stuck too long, that is the mental health aspect and outside help and where some people will just on band wagon of just "suck it up".
Why! Our curiosity, our desire to solve things, challenge our assumptions, try to understand our astonishment, explore, engagement with the world and being more informed and thoughful.
The intro to this. Made me laugh so hard. I enjoyed this whole thing so so much thank you guys for these podcasts. They're always a great time :D
Great podcast. Wonderful topic!
BTW -- the comedy bit you're thinking about (or at least the one you reminded me of) with all the Whys was Louis C. K. [Careful if you look that one up. His language is a little rough, unless you find him on the Tonight Show or Letterman or something ...]
I am so loving you both. Love the intro. But Why... I had a abusive life as a child.. But Why did I choose to be the opposite.. I tried to do good. Yes sometimes I failed.. It drives me nuts that I could not be perfect. Human are hardwired to look at the negative.. The reason is way back in our dna... It was ment to keep us safe. A negaative issue would warn you not to do that again or be there or do that. So it kept us safe. But today... we dont have so many of those dangerous but the hardwire is still there. We have to work so hard to be aware.
I would add though. Happiness being a choice doesn’t mean it’s easy to choose. I just want to put it out there for others. You are not alone.
I think that filler words like “um” are used to signify that you’re not done talking. If you leave silence, then people might think that you’re done talking so people tend to use filler words to signify that there’s more to come.
At 23:40 you asked “why not sit on the ground?” And I’m sure I saw somewhere that the people of Fiji sit on the ground to show respect to leaders!
The umms and noises we do i think it's because when we are asked a question or opionion or whatever, it's just us recalculating and basically saying "Ok, I heard your question and now I'm thinking how to answer you", cause if we were to remain silent it could be misunderstood as "I did not heard you" or "keep speaking", you know?
Love this one… why? Makes us all think…. Again. Good job
For the fillers, and specifically for looking for a folde or something. For me, I use it as an indicator that I am indeed looking, and i am indeed aware of the time slipping by.
for being on the phone or something, its to show that yes, i am listening.
The beginning is definitely the vibes of when you walk in a room and immediately know you screwed up. Like opening the wrong car door and having to deal with the shame lol
Why is clock set to 3:07?
17:35 It's more like "We are smart enough to have an impact but dumb enough to not see the consequences."
Not the deadpan!!!😂
my guess on filler words and sounds is more so a subconscious way to let the others know you're not done talking yet so to speak, rather than it only being a need to fill the silence. cause if your brain blanks and you go audibly silent, rather than use a filler, people will assume that the quiet is a cue to speak up themselves. This is simply a guess, and I of course could be very wrong. Love listening to the podcast!
I listen to you guys on Spotify and I have to come and watch this video just because he talked about the intro
I try to please people because I feel good when the people around me are happy. That simple. I feel useful and valuable. Like anyone, I want a community who cares about me. Like many, I don't feel like I have this. that's a scary thing, really.
I think I say "eeh" and "um" to let people know that i'm not done talking, or as a kind of "hold on while i do this" or "hold on while i try to find my words"
Dr. Skizzleman, Psychologist, .05 a minute… lol Lucy from the Peanuts style! Lol
I'm at 15:03 and I just need to say (from someone who has an abusive mother( I am safe now) ) I can't imagine hurting a kid but I am at the same time horrified to have kids, because what if I do hurt them. I know that some of the stuff my mom said still pops up in the back of my head as the truth even about things I know isn't, and it feels like I have a huge grayzoon in my brain on one side is things I now know are lies and on the other side is what I know are true but with all the weird things that she said it feels impossible to figure out...
That parting shot :)
Here's a good subject line to follow up with. "What if?" There's a history book series called what if, things that could have happened differently throughout history. And it's a good food for thought subject.
For me use the word "So" as a filler...I do a lot of stimming noises as well that is to fill that blank space to keep my mind engaged enough to not disengage from the conversation while some kind of action/product is lagging or producing slower than the pacing of my conversation.