here a list for the people in a hurry: 1. being sleep deprived(0:48) 2. body smell (1:28) 3. excessive focus on appearance (2:11) 4. not being humble (2:42) 5. overly smiley/ too proud (3:36) 6. contractive body language (4:01)
“Turtles are cute, but its because they’re turtles… your a human… dont try to turtle yourself” has to be one of the most adorable ways to tell someone to open up a bit
(before the 6 things) Attraction is based on 3 things: 1. You consider them approachable 2. Belive in positive facts about them 3. They make you feel good
Being approachable is not important because I have no intention of approaching them. I will admire their physical attractiveness at a distance. If they catch me looking, I may or may not smile, but that’s the extent of it for me
omg this junior approached me, like out of all of everyone in the cafeteria she picked me and we eat lunch together and she makes me feel good and she's so swet
@M Y T H I C A L N O V A But it is. I may find someone attractive that you think is absolutely ugly, and vise versa. That’s the beauty of being human, we aren’t all the same, nor do we all want the same things in another person.
I have ADD but I’m medicated and before being medicated I smiled so much it was actually horrible 😭 Also 3 do u mean disliking yourself makes you less attractive? Or does it mean loving urself makes u less attractive (I assume liking urself makes u more than less)
I feel like the whole body language thing is very difficult. I automatically default to crossed arms AND legs when in public. When I do realize, I try fixing my posture/sitting position, but without realizing, I quickly revert back.
the whole body language thing isn't agreed upon. Some sources say what this video says, others say it doesn't actually really factor. Now, that may be more cultural - I spend a LOT of time around, and grew up around, people who would cross their legs, cross their arms, etc.. Personally, I simply find it the most comfortable position to be in, rather than my hands and arms hanging, which eventually just gets painful. So for me, it's more storage for limbs I'm not using at that moment, less psycho-social. That may be opposite for someone else, even a few within my own social circle, but again, that's likely to be more cultural/influence. To suggest what this video suggests, as an absolute, is disingenuous at best, dishonest at worst. Most body language isn't something we will consciously see, unless intentionally looking for it; and even then, it's difficult unless you're trained. (I'm not). No, most of the body language that would determine attraction is subconscious, at least according to other sources I've seen/read/heard (SciShow Psych had a video on this, iirc). These outward, obvious placements of limbs is rarely actually indicative of anything other than simple comfort.
@@mikehancock9887 i heard a different version for why guys sit with crossed legs, and it has to do with the size of a certain body part which actually makes sense if you think about it
it's okay mate, it's 1 point among 6, and while in this video it might make you feel you're less approachable when you cross your arms, if it's a habit of your's people would notice that you cross your arms when you feel comfortable, then it's all good since you show that you feel comfortable with the person you're talking with
I did an experiment where I went to a bar unwashed (no cologne, no deodorant) and women approached me and acted unusually friendly. A week later I wore the normal amount of cologne (light) and deodorant and only had 1 woman approach me as such. I repeated this for 1 year, alternating weeks. I found almost always, unwashed (not reeking) was most beneficial, especially after being at a gym and lifting weights. I had a woman do the same experiment and got the same results. Pheromones work.
I'm so curious about this... all the other aspects of this video are controllable (in some way) but you literally can't change your pheromones... so what if you are just a person who has pheromones that don't attract people. How do you know if you reek, even if you shower and you're just nose blind to it..
What a curious reaction… as a woman I like a man that smells good even tough I don’t smell as good (I am working on it) wich is haha kinda funny. But your results of the experiment really surprised me.
I've had trouble with the smiling part. I'm on the spectrum, and upon learning this at the age of 15, I had to teach myself to display emotion, and I try to be as clear as possible due to feeling like I'm not communicating properly, which might lead to me overdoing it when I relax in a social situation. When I smile, I mean it with all my heart, because I don't waste my effort on those who I feel don't deserve my limited energy.
Same here, and I personally think that just trying to be the kindest and most clean version of yourself that you're able to accomplish is enough for someone to find romantic interest in you
Yeah like I CANNOT force myself to feel any emotions. If I'm neutral I cannot force myself to smile and actually mean it. When I'm sad or upset and don't want people to know, i can't force myself to smile. When I feel certain emotions that's how genuinely feel. When I'm actually happy I can't stop smiling.
The one person I've been with that I believe I genuinely loved wasn't exactly "conventionally attractive". She was kinda boyish and had short hair, and I get the feeling that most people wouldn't find her attractive based on her looks, but becuase I enjoyed her company so much, personally, I thought she was adorable. I thought everything about her was attractive. I think when you genuinely love someone, it doesn't matter what they look like, because they're perfect in your own eyes.
@@Joodhandle I agree. That's why I said "conventionally attractive". Attraction is subjective, but there is a weird social standard, and boyish with short hair on a girl isn't typically viewed as socially or conventionally attractive. Also, random side note, me and this girl got back together recently, so I'm happy :)
Being a chronic insomniac, I can confer that my irritability isn’t very attractive and serves as a turn off. Not to mention my innate ability to just fall asleep mid sentece has failed to impress.
Right? It makes it so much harder to even just communicate with people. I've been around the biggest crushes of my life while functioning on zero sleep and it's just soul crushingly embarrassing how much harder it makes it to connect. Watching them lose interest while having no energy to even think straight can be so painful that it makes the sleep issues even worse too. People who don't suffer from chronic sleep/fatigue issues don't know how good they have it
If only. I usually take around 40 minutes to get to sleep, and that’s only if I’m tired. If I’m not, I’m getting anywhere. And did I mention that I wake up at the drop of a pen? I always realize that I’m dreaming, which for some reason causes me to remember to blink, which causes me to wake up. And I used to be the deepest sleeper before I started using alarms! Now it doesn’t matter if I have one or not, I’m still waking up as soon as the suns out!
I get angry easy but if it's not caused by someone attacking me I usually (somehow) turn it into sadness and then I'll tell myself that crying for no reason is pathetic and that's how I calm myself down 👍
It is good to note that these are found to be attractive to more people than not, which means there is still variation based on a lot of things. For example, just because you fit all of these for a guy or a girl, they may still reject you, or be with you casually and end it because they aren't looking for commitment. They may also just not value some of these things because of how/where they were raised and so they don't find them desirable even if they were found to correlate with better relationships. Some people are also traumatized, maybe immature, etc. There are many reasons why they may reject you regardless of whether you would make a good partner for them. The things to learn are being able to tell your own faults and when to move on from someone.
so true trauma made it hard for me to connect and maintain any good relationship partner wise or friend Idm. No one is gonna love a hurt traumatized person cuz it's too much work for anyone. it's hard work for the person with it to work on it as well. but it's more important to work on it solo. so you won't add more to the trauma if they leave you is basically abandoning especially if you already open up and they made it seem like they here to help cuz it be rare to have those individuals. heal yourself to be true independence that's the gift of going through traumatic events, you are resilient and blessed to be alive. you are more powerful than the average human being because they die of loneliness
@@primitivemediations530 Eh I just found an equally traumatized person yk, probably not very healthy, but eh we make each other better people. Besides that the variantions are especially true, cuz I find sleep deprived people more attractive cuz it's like we're kindred spirits y'know. And also I don't mind people with a bit of an ego, cuz honestly in the situation I grew up in, I literally had no help, literally zero, my mom was the type of person who separates you from any other viewpoint or support system, she's like a fucking cultist. So when I did things they were literally all me since I had nobody else that even could help. I had to fight tooth and nail for every little bit and honestly it made me stronger yea. But I wish I didn't have to be. I did get some useful traits from it, such as my unwavering defiance. (Because whenever someone tells me I'm too fuckin dumbshit to do something I hit em with a not with that fuckin attitude and do it anyways exclusively as a very spiteful f*ck you) And my sense of chaos and mayhem. (Because there were times I literally had to Jack Sparrow it out of places, like throw a cup at the wall flip the table, punch the nearest fuckshit in the face and fly out of the room sorta thing.)
I have to absolutely disagree with the smile one. People who always smile are more approachable, I always smile and many told me that my Joyful personality makes them laigh or they are happy to have me around. So always smile when you talk to someone, you'll put them more at ease
I think she means people who smile NO MATTER WHAT. As in, the person could be having a rough day, doesn't want to be bothered but you don't know that because the dude is smiling all the time with a nice tone. You take it as "oh they're super happy." and be playful with them only to get the feeling that through the fake smile and body language, they aren't playful. Now you look like an a-hole. People don't like excessive smiling is what she means. Smiling through situations that don't call for your smile or smiling when you're giving off the wrong vibe to someone. My coworker is like that. I've had to walk on eggshells because I cannot guess his mood through his constant smiling.
I smile quite a lot even if I try not to. It just happens out of the blue. Sometimes, it even happens without me noticing. I don’t think I can change that. I don’t fake smile unless it’s with relatives, since I get worried and nervous about them, but with others I never fake smile. I don’t know what to do.
Funnily enough, I actually like sleep deprivation. I have absolutely no clue why, but I think it makes a person hotter. The messy hair, the restless eyes, it’s just appealing to me. I also like rbfs a lot, and don’t really like smiles. But the smile of a person I really like can be nice
I honestly agree with this, I can imagine showing up to class and being able to steal glances at the person I like while their sleeping, and then when they have a good amount of energy, that honestly to me makes them even hotter-
This was a great video and it made me realize more about myself. Thanks! Also, that Eddsworld reference at 2:27 had me smiling. I’ve watched them since 2017!
I think it has to do with people who are just too arrogant and will be perceives as such. In the other hand, a nice, humbled, smiley person can be found very appealing.
Being attractive still varies for different mindsets ig. I don't find people who have expressive body language attractive. I cannot care less about their haggard appearance. I don't find humbleness attractive either. It's just what it is, it never draws me in. So, there is nothing like, "this is always attractive". It is just a perception of finding something appealing/unappealing. It's just mind, not the truth. Yeah, it's a waste of our time thinking about whether people find us attractive or not. No matter how attractive I am, I am still ugly for many people. Guys, just don't find a reason to be yourself. Being yourself is like existing. You cannot live as a worker bee while being a queen bee or vice versa. Accepting yourself is the only way to get peace and joy within yourself. Otherwise, you keep struggling with yourself like a trapped mouse or something. All the best in that 🤞 (I, the one who ranted am terribly insecure about attractiveness but.....I am slowly understanding things. Getting aware of things you already know is the first step in healing anything. Hope this long-ass comment helps someone in getting aware for nth time. It helped me!)
While I agree with you in that the specific traits mentioned are relative and subjective. There are things that we do that can kill attraction. Being negative, clingy, neglectful, lying... Anything that will make you lose trust in a person. Love is created when we feel safe enough to be vulnerable with that person. And anything that kills that safe place, will kill the attraction.
a lot of truth in your comment. Many people won't achieve anything by being "themselves" and need to actively develop some traits or straight up act. It's sad but this is how it is. Don't let anyone fool you telling you to "just be yourself". If for any reason you hear that advice, being yourself was probably a problem from the beginning.
@@TheSouthIsHot I greatly appreciate humbleness but it never attracts me. It's not my type tbh. This doesn't mean I specifically prefer arrogance and attitude. Like how some people find funny people attractive while others just appreciate that trait, I appreciate humbleness...but don't get attracted to it.
Wow, loving the references on this channel! Seems like you guys are going for a lot of different fandoms, and personally, I feel seen whenever the fandom I'm currently or previously been in shows up on your videos. I'm getting hit with nostalgia after seeing Matt, Tom, and Edd from Eddsworld:D
0:35 i've also noticed prolonged time with someone helps you find the attractive aspects of a person. also going through hardships together helps develop a friendship that can lead to a relationship.
Contractive body language is something I've done subconsciously as a woman whenever I didn't want the attention of certain people around around me. Especially when around men I was feeling uncomfortable around and was trying to be noticed less by them. I'm sure I'm not the only person who has done something like that subconsciously while feeling uncomfortable or feeling the need to protect themselves in that subtle way.
fact number two is actually really cool. I read about MHC molecules in Philipp Dettmers book "Immune" (recommended if you want to learn about the immune system in a fun way) and I was mindblown. As mentioned in this video, they make the body smell a certain way. smell is a big factor when you're falling in love with someone. the body also thinks your siblings or those closley related to you smell "worse" in a love-sense to prevent incest. I think there are two types of MHC molecules and I cant remember if both affect your smell or if its only one.
I feel like if someone is too open that freaks me out. So when it comes to contractive body language vs expansive body language is kinda a balance you have to try and strike. Plus if you just genuinely feel uncomfortable in a situation anyone would feel uncomfortable in, but you don't look uncomfortable, I would personally read that as being a little weird. Not super weird but just a tiny little bit. I get what the overarching point of what you mean though, but you should keep this in mind imo.
Some people who are open immediately are either 1. actually confident, friendly and mentally strong people. It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable to a stranger. People who are strong knows the difference between vulnerability and weakness. 2. They do it to see what you're about. To see if you can be trusted, if you're a judgmental a-hole, if you have confidence and dignity. It's screening basically. 3. Some do it to run you away. It was a tactic my now bestie of 15+ years did to me. He admitted to me many years later that that was his go-to to drive people away from him because he suffered from depression and anxiety. It didn't work on me because my social skills was all weird back then.
Knowing difference between being proud vs arrogant is vital. For some people who doesn't usually have things to be proud might boast about their success for a while
for contractive body language, i will say that for me its the opposite. I feel more threatened by someone who holds their arms open to me, and would rather hang with someone who prefers to be a 'turtle'. To me, it doesn't say 'dont come close'. it says to me 'im not a threat' and i like that. idk what it is about being greeted with open arms that makes me fearful.
Maybe it makes you wonder if or what they are hiding. Most people don’t hold themselves in such a vulnerable pose, so maybe they are over compensating.
Maybe you are adverse to all this social hugging like me? Whenever someone i just met comes at me with open arms i feel like yelling "We don´t have that kind of relationship yet!" Also its like an oven outside atm, do i really still have to accept people mashing their sweaty body up against mine just so I won´t be considered unattractive or unapproachable? God its so hard fitting in sometimes...
The only reason for my contractive body language is just trauma. I’ve gone through a lot. It’s really hard to trust people nowadays… I wish I could, but it’s nearly impossible
If your trauma was due to relationships, if you haven't already, it might help to learn about narcissism. I went through a lot of relationship trauma and finding out about narcissism was the only thing that ever gave me any closure and helped me see red flags I was ignoring before. I promise you, there are good people out there too.
I always thought that the thing that made me unattractive was my face. Now you're telling me that it was just my chronic insomnia, dead fish eyes, and tendency to lean backwards with my hands in my pockets? What a relief.
+Psych2go *Thanks for the list of repulsive traits:* 0:48 (1) Sleep deprivation 1:28 (2) Body odors contraindicative of histocompatibility 2:11 (3) Obsession on appearances 2:42 (4) Lack of humility 3:36 (5) Excessive pride 4:01 (6) Contractive body language
1. Never occurred to me 2. Can be changed, but yes 3. Maybe they're just insecure, I wouldn't mind working through that with them 4. Definitely 5. Overly smiley could be something they can't help / too proud could go either way 6. Doesn't matter And this is just me, even these things differ based on someones preference. Stay safe out there y'all.
some of those things are hardwired into our subconscious, so I think it'd be difficult to say they "don't matter" unless you are literaly built different
I feel like the only thing i do from these is having 'excessive focus on appearance'. It's not because I'm obsessed with myself or I'm a narcissist or something, it's just cause I'm really really insecure. About my face, body, everything. I don't wanna be 'less attractive' or something but i just can't help it :(
@guess who maybe not for u. Ur only spreading bad vibes to people who already feel uncomfortable so u can either deal with it or delete ur comment bc ur rude And that's the new unattractive🙄
Insecurity comes from false self image. You gotta fix whats on the inside, not the outside. I recommend reading Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. Its a really great book about mental health and our self image.
Open mindedness and the ability to think things through, even the things you don't agree with, civilly is a huge plus for me. I like people who are naturally curious and respectful.
Ive never understood beauty standards because 1: even if i think someone is attractive, i wont actually be attracted to them until i get to know them, then they become 10x more attractive to me 2: personally i think commonly " not attractive" things such an large or crooked noses, dark circles under eyes, wonky teeth/tooth gap, ect are so attractive, i just love them so much and i know im not the only one so i just dont get why people have these unnaturally difficult beauty standards. Everyone is beautiful to someone.😊
Vid #4 of trying to request a video highlighting the following topics: 1. What you can do if you can't access therapy. 2. Signs your therapist might be harming rather then helping your mental health. 3. What to do in life situations that a therapist cannot fix.
I was actually pretty worried that this would really hit my currently-fragile self-confidence (healing from some hurts), but this was delightfully presented and helped me realize that I'm doing better than I think 😌
Attraction is definitely more than skin deep. Physical appearance may be the initial spark, but what’s inside is what keeps you bound to each other. Looking back on past partners, they looked like the most attractive person in the world at the beginning of the relationship. Once I got to see the real them and realized we weren’t compatible, they no longer seem “attractive” to me. Human attraction is bizarre.
My humility score is so much in the negative that it actually qualifies as self-loathing. That has to be pretty unattractive too (it was already talked about in a video about things that ruin relationships). I'm okay with that though because I never want to be seen as attractive again.
@@caijon123 Eh. It is if you pester people about it. My only living relative, grandma, doesn't know about it and I don't let her. Other than that, I live alone. I don't need attention to my self-loathing, it's just my most probable pastime when no one's around. Otherwise I just try to smile and be helpful.
I'm very smiley ☺️ but I'm also AuDHD. And most people (including my husband) say it's my best personality feature. I've tried a smaller smile 😃 but most people say it makes me look sly 😼 and they're not quite into that. I had to practice smiling for work. It doesn't really come naturally when I'm scared or nervous and outside my home I'm both of these things. So I don't agree with the smile one either 🙂 when I have time off though I mostly stay in.
As someone who has a deep seeded hatred for themselves, loving yourself is, unfortunately, a big one. The amount of times I've heard from girls at the end of the relationship say "How do you expect someone to love you when you can't love yourself." But you can't force someone to love you... Can I force myself to love me?
Hey, it's been a month since you made this comment. How are you doing now? Hating yourself sucks, and it's hard to break out of. You can't force you to love yourself. It's a gradual process of accepting yourself for who you are. It will be a challenge, and you will need a good support group. Even though it might seem pointless, and you might feel like you will be stuck like this forever, try to do a little better each day. Find good coping strategies and try to change your mindset a bit at a time. When you find yourself putting yourself down, take a deep breath, and focus on your surroundings. Remind yourself that you're not perfect, but with each passing day, you will strive to be the person you want to be. Smile and just live. You have to be able to put in the effort to do this. You have to be willing to believe that you got what it takes to change and that all comes down to making the first step. I believe in you
I apologize if I'm overstepping my boundaries. I struggle with self-hatred, and it's hard. I'm trying to be better each day, though, and doing my best to be a nicer person to myself. I would recommend journaling when you are in those moments where you hate yourself so much that you want to tear yourself apart. Putting all of your emotions and thoughts on paper, from my experience, really helps. Anyways, you got this! Remember that you miss all of the shots you don't take. Keep trying, and do your best!
This phrase really infuriates me. How can I love myself if no one loves me? To love myself I must know that I am valuable, but everyone around me proves the opposite to me
If your relationship is healthy, you won't need to worry about messing up - everyone makes mistakes in relationships, after all. If you really are worried about it, talking to your partner could be a good idea! But only if you feel safe and comfortable.
@@lisamoran8425 Ya but people need to reajust sometimes, saying random "be who your are, you are perfect"' also prevent people from reflecting on themselves which is crucial because nobody is born perfect, every decision we make carves your personality a bit more and it's important to always take a step back, be honest with ourselves and adjust ourselves.
Withdraw yourself from all those distressing thoughts of the probability that your relationship could possibly split asunder and implode, and instead-just be yourself. For someone who is truly fond of you would never deign to deride you nor disapprove of you, nor reject you just because you happened to make some mistake or raise an inconvenience in the midst of the relationship. And there comes to be nothing wrong with that whatsoever, unless that mistake turns out to be one too grave to be forgiven, which is one that can never be indeliberate or committed without any priorly devised plan.
I'm attracted to people who don't get overly emotional over meaningless things, and will let me speak my mind without getting hurt/offended and then blow up about it.
*📝don’t get enough sleep, stink, hate myself, be self-absorbed/obsessed, force myself to smile a lot (I never do), stay in my shell, got it, thanks for the tips!(:*
A problem with the body language thing is that there is no relationshio between crossing your arms and pushing people away. So if a possible partner infers this from your body language they are essentially putting words in your mouth. As healthy partners we should endeavour to accurately understand another person so as to know them as they are. Rather, going about modifying your body language based on other's interpretations would be a form of self-harming people-pleasing. You want the people who will love you for who you are, not for who you change yourself to become (with the exception of harmful behaviours.)
I get what you're saying, but I'm not sure I agree 100%. I'm autistic and have behaviors that at first glance seem rude, such as not making eye contact, and that's just because that's how it easily gets interpreted, I'm not trying to be rude. But I can't expect people on first meeting to flock to me to try to understand my mannerisms or overlook them when they don't even know I'm autistic and what that entails, especially when I know how it may look to them. It's up to me to relay that information to them if I want to possibly establish any kind of relationship. It's not on the other person, and making the change to look them in the eye even if it makes me uncomfortable doesn't change me as a person. I'm merely adapting enough to let them feel welcomed in order to connect.
@@victoriavaldivia515 I get what you're saying, I just guess I'm at a point where I think that kind of inner-monologue is a kind of internalized ableism broadcast at us by neurotypical social norms and instead we should expect our diverse array of unique quirks to be explored, understood and accepted. We don't deserve to contort ourselves into the forms we are not because others are neurotypical and expect likeness. No, you deserve better.
body language is incredibly important and crossed arms, body turned away from the person, no eye contact, hunched posture, etc have ALWAYS been seen as being unapproachable and/or that youre disinterested in what one has to say. yes, sometimes we cant help our posture or body language because of certain health conditions, mental disabilities or traumas, and, in those cases, you cannot always take one's body language at face value. that is why communication is key in relationships. if you have a physical condition that forces you to be hunched over due to chronic pain or you have autism that may cause you to act inappropriately in social environments, as two examples, it's important to communicate as much to your partner; this is especially important if emotional/mental trauma is involved. in that way, if your body language seems closed off, your partner will not think negatively of it because they know it isnt your fault and they can help you in any way they can to help you improve or alleviate your pain (in the case of physical disabilities). theres also ofc the fact we are unaware we're scowling or have our posture presenting an aggressive attitude. we tend to relax into a posture that feels most natural and comfortable to us (which also may or may not be related to our inner, psychological selves) and we dont mean to come off as rude and/or disinterested. in those instances, we have to be told "Hey, you're crossing your arms again, relax your body" so we can get out of that habit and show a more open, welcoming posture. i agree someone shouldnt always take another's body language so seriously and/or personally, but it's still very much a factor in one's presentability as well as attractiveness. so long as you communicate, everything will be fine 😄
@@Mariewolf_94 *seen as. Well believed in the business community. Well debunked in psychology and intelligence gathering. Often this belief is as I said just putting words in someone's mouth. Misperception treated as reality.
To the people struggling with these types of things, There is no need to look or act perfect. As long as you are yourself, show gratitude and proudness to yourself, there is no need to seek for other’s attentions. May you all succeed.
sleep deprivation also applies to the loss of company. sure they’re there but they’re unconscious and asleep and its like lost time spent together. its upsetting bc why would u disturb someones rest unless important?
off topic but, I sometimes listen to your voice because it is so calming, and is like an anxiety relief sometimes. something about it just makes me feel calmer, and safer. I always love watching your videos, and I love the animation style. I also think you could make a lot of videos like those but just like videos to help with anxiety, or anything else. like an online therapist or something. idk tho. sorry about this really long comment that's really off topic, just wanted to say this. thanks! again, love your animation styl!
I never thought about the last part... My crush always hugs me and stuff like that and I mostly just stand in an awkward position when that happens... so the last part really helps! I'll try applying it. Thanks!!
I know it’s obviously supposed to be this way but Whoever voices these really makes this feel like a comfortable space to wind down while getting good advice.
amazing video! this really inspired me to be more self conscious about my personality and how i act toward my crush. also i love that Eddsworld reference- im a big fan of the show.
Wow I didn’t know my sleep deprivation makes me unattractive- I had someone who liked me while I was first sleep deprived around 2 years ago tho. Idk if they still like me but they probably don’t anymore lol
I love smiling. Smiling makes me happy, and I live happier that way. If things get rough and I don't want to smile, I still smile because smiling makes it less rough for me. Might seem like I'm doing a fake smile, but I genuinely want to smile, and I believe that I'm smiling genuinely, so is it really fake? I'm not doing it to hide what I'm feeling, I'm doing it to make me happy and smile more. Also smiling a lot in public, makes other people smile from what I've noticed. So, if being overly smiley is something unattractive, then I'm ugly all the way.
Firstly, I think it's important to acknowledge that attraction is indeed a complex thing. It's not just about physical beauty, but rather a combination of factors that involve both the external and internal aspects of a person. The video highlights some of the psychological factors that can make someone less attractive, and I think it's valuable to consider these factors when trying to build new relationships or maintain existing ones. One of the factors that stood out to me is the importance of being approachable. It's true that when meeting someone for the first time, we rely on sight to give us an initial assessment of the person. If someone appears tired or unkempt, it can be off-putting and may affect how we perceive their overall attractiveness. This is why getting enough sleep and taking care of ourselves is crucial not just for our physical health, but also for our social interactions. Another interesting point in the video is the role of body smell in attraction. It's fascinating to learn that our body odor is influenced by our genes, specifically the major histocompatibility complex (MHC). Studies have found that people are generally more attracted to individuals with dissimilar MHCs, which may encourage gene variability and stronger immune systems. This just goes to show that there are deeper biological factors at play when it comes to attraction. I also agree with the video's point about the importance of not being overly focused on appearance. While it's important to look and feel good, being obsessed with one's self-image can be a turn-off for others. Substance and character are just as important in building and maintaining relationships. Finally, the video emphasizes the significance of nonverbal communication and body language in attraction. Having an open and expansive posture is generally seen as more attractive than a closed and contractive posture. This is because a contractive posture may convey a message of not being open or welcoming to others, while an expansive posture can make us appear more confident and approachable. Overall, I think the video provides valuable insights into the complex factors that contribute to attraction. While we may not be able to control some of these factors, such as our genes and body odor, we can certainly work on the aspects that we can control, such as our posture, social skills, and character. By being aware of these psychological factors, we can better understand ourselves and others and build more meaningful and fulfilling relationships.
As uplifting and positive as this is, they are 3 different things independent of one another. You can be the most ugly human being on Earth but have an amazing personality and a big heart.
weirdly enough I find sleep deprivation and closed-off body language attractive. I find it cute when someone looks a little bit tired it makes me want to take care of them and make them feel better. I also find softer-spoken and introverted people more attractive because I am an introvert myself so I like when other people are reserved in their body language and actions. So basically what I'm saying is there is someone for everyone even if you don't fit the typical standard of what is attractive there will always be outliers who like you for you and will love you where you're at.
Perfectly true, there’s a girl at my school I became friends with maybe 6 months ago and I went from thinking she is kinda ugly to being alright to absolutely being head over heels thinking she’s beautiful because as I got to know her and loved her personality attraction came along with it
I am missing a lot of these, people already like my personality a lot but you just listed everything i need to work on physically, i will try these out. Thanks!
0:48 I remember being so sleep deprived because I would stay up all night so I could fall asleep in class because my bf thought it was cute when I fell asleep in class. From the moment he said it was cute I had made it my personal mission to fall asleep in class everyday.
‘Banjo avoidance’ and ‘human turtle’ will forever be in my vocabulary now, that was too good lol Starting to think something that makes me less attractive irl is how intensely I stare at people when they talk to me. It’s like I can’t even talk to most people without them getting wigged out and breaking down like I’m Ted Bundy getting my photo taken or something. Is there therapy to get rid of predatory stares? Shvt is killing my friend prospects over here 🐢
wow i came back to watch this and i am so cooked on the 4th one cuz im an over smiley type of person... like everything could make me blush and smile and sometimes its just too much and overly big smile it make me look like i smoke some stuff before enter a conversation and i am so embarassed by that... thank you for making this video! 💗
This explains a lot about me. I have been told many times I’m so unapproachable, with that and a few more on here I can identify with, this explains why I’m alone
I was always so tired and I would at ppl like im dead and some kid had a crush on me.. Ill take that being tired can SOMETIMES to DIFFERENT ppl will make you attractive
My pal really said 1 bad thing of each person from my group of friends 💀 but damn, i love the vibe from your videos, and this really will help me in my "no cringe bro" project (just how i call myself trying to be an actual human being instead of an [no]hole), so i want to thank you for making this video, even if it's probably for educational purposes, this helps sooo many people, including me!
My contractive behavior is because I'm trying to stay warm. I only care about my self-image when I'm around others. I smile a lot, because people tell me to cheese, when taking pictures. Sleep Deprived, because I keep failing to fall asleep of because responsibilities and social media and health effects it all has together. I'm a completely different person when around different people, because I'm not the same around friends, family and someone I'm interested in. Also sometimes I'm just singing alongside everyone else along the way. I'm only ever truly me, because I'm choosing not to modify my behavior for others. My behavior can also be modified for a situation, I'm new to or not used to. It's like trying to get outside my comfort zone to find myself wanting to go back to my comfort zone. There's also my behavior being different when working and when at school. It's tiring when I don't get to enjoy things with others, especially when, I don't know who to thank or who did something special for me.
Also when your dealing with parents who think they know what's best for your future, but have actively screwed up almost every one of your decisions in life. It breaks the trust between family members. Just wanting to be in the sidelines is my way of life.
I'll be honest, around my family I'm pretty much myself, but around other people I either get really quiet and go about my business, or I end up getting dragged into conversations and adopt a confident and joking persona, whether I want to or not.
@Sky Blue don’t worry dog. Screw people who judge you and stuff. What they gonna do? Ur enough. You don’t have to do anything great to be a good person. Train yourself to be strong mentally. You can do it my friend.
@@skyblue5220 you can build strength, you can push through without love, and if you're enough for yourself then society can burn, because this isn't society's life, it's yours.
I 100% agree that attraction is Psycological because I've been attracted to people who aren't even physically attractive
Damn, now I have to make myself psychologically unattractive as well
@@Anonymous-hx3pu seems your a bit confused but that's okay homie
Same
@@Anonymous-hx3pu gal what u talkin bout?
@@Anonymous-hx3pu read again haha
Society: "Just be yourself"
Also society: "No not like that"
Yeah right..
We live in a society
@@firstlast8258 *judgemental society!
@@Dev.Yadav. 🙄
Fact of life: you will be judged. Deal with it.
“Being sleep deprived isn’t attractive”
*I shall stay single forever*
or go to sleep
I just noticed I am a sleep deprived, boring & Negative little blob. :((
Me watching this at 3am: 👁️👁️
Fr I have Insomnia 😭
@@hey6601 same it’s genetic for me though 😭
2:29 I love how you used Ed, Tom, and Mat in this picture
THATS WHAT IM SAYING
IKR
FR
I was gonna say this
I THOUGHT IT WAS JS ME
here a list for the people in a hurry:
1. being sleep deprived(0:48)
2. body smell (1:28)
3. excessive focus on appearance (2:11)
4. not being humble (2:42)
5. overly smiley/ too proud (3:36)
6. contractive body language (4:01)
The people of the future will thank you😆
@@sondelverruckt7174 yeah i know
Thank you 🙏🏽
I love you
Thanks
“Turtles are cute, but its because they’re turtles… your a human… dont try to turtle yourself” has to be one of the most adorable ways to tell someone to open up a bit
Yeah
Sounds annoying
Yes
@@Brisun :( it made me feel happy
Just played as I read this
(before the 6 things)
Attraction is based on 3 things:
1. You consider them approachable
2. Belive in positive facts about them
3. They make you feel good
But in reality:
1. Looks.
2. Social standing.
3. Money.
Being approachable is not important because I have no intention of approaching them. I will admire their physical attractiveness at a distance. If they catch me looking, I may or may not smile, but that’s the extent of it for me
You fall in love because of looks
But stay because of personality
the people who put lists like these in comments are the backbone of society
omg this junior approached me, like out of all of everyone in the cafeteria she picked me and we eat lunch together and she makes me feel good and she's so swet
JUST TELL ME IM UGLY 😭😭
Same my guy same
It's ok, you just have to have a thick wallet
@@User-i8b8f When will life just become life ykwim
@@User-i8b8f Being attractive is a part to have a thick wallet (some places don't accept ppl in if their unattractive.)
Ur pretty
Takes “I’m ugly and I’m proud” to a new level.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
@M Y T H I C A L N O V A no
@@firstlast8258 CAP
@M Y T H I C A L N O V A But it is. I may find someone attractive that you think is absolutely ugly, and vise versa. That’s the beauty of being human, we aren’t all the same, nor do we all want the same things in another person.
@@pixiepalasmr6881 The video states that people with too much pride are less attractive hence "I'm ugly and I'm proud."
Here you go, guys:
1. Being sleep deprived
2. Body smell
3. Love yourself
4. Not being humble
5. Overly smiley
6. Contractive body language
I have ADD but I’m medicated and before being medicated I smiled so much it was actually horrible 😭 Also 3 do u mean disliking yourself makes you less attractive? Or does it mean loving urself makes u less attractive (I assume liking urself makes u more than less)
@@Rat6671 loving yourself too much. Narcissism basically..
@@Kenji-thelastone yeah that makes a lot of sense
@@Kenji-thelastone not my fault you feel insecure
@@lizzie009narcissistic can be a bit too much, very self centered and overconfident
I feel like the whole body language thing is very difficult. I automatically default to crossed arms AND legs when in public. When I do realize, I try fixing my posture/sitting position, but without realizing, I quickly revert back.
Relatable
the whole body language thing isn't agreed upon. Some sources say what this video says, others say it doesn't actually really factor. Now, that may be more cultural - I spend a LOT of time around, and grew up around, people who would cross their legs, cross their arms, etc.. Personally, I simply find it the most comfortable position to be in, rather than my hands and arms hanging, which eventually just gets painful. So for me, it's more storage for limbs I'm not using at that moment, less psycho-social.
That may be opposite for someone else, even a few within my own social circle, but again, that's likely to be more cultural/influence. To suggest what this video suggests, as an absolute, is disingenuous at best, dishonest at worst.
Most body language isn't something we will consciously see, unless intentionally looking for it; and even then, it's difficult unless you're trained. (I'm not). No, most of the body language that would determine attraction is subconscious, at least according to other sources I've seen/read/heard (SciShow Psych had a video on this, iirc). These outward, obvious placements of limbs is rarely actually indicative of anything other than simple comfort.
@@mikehancock9887 i heard a different version for why guys sit with crossed legs, and it has to do with the size of a certain body part which actually makes sense if you think about it
I rarely do be crossing arms but it feels like crossing legs and hunched back Is my default siting posture
it's okay mate, it's 1 point among 6, and while in this video it might make you feel you're less approachable when you cross your arms, if it's a habit of your's people would notice that you cross your arms when you feel comfortable, then it's all good since you show that you feel comfortable with the person you're talking with
I did an experiment where I went to a bar unwashed (no cologne, no deodorant) and women approached me and acted unusually friendly. A week later I wore the normal amount of cologne (light) and deodorant and only had 1 woman approach me as such. I repeated this for 1 year, alternating weeks. I found almost always, unwashed (not reeking) was most beneficial, especially after being at a gym and lifting weights. I had a woman do the same experiment and got the same results. Pheromones work.
I'm so curious about this... all the other aspects of this video are controllable (in some way) but you literally can't change your pheromones... so what if you are just a person who has pheromones that don't attract people. How do you know if you reek, even if you shower and you're just nose blind to it..
Well yeah, people should smell like people not trees or flowers or whatever.
What a curious reaction… as a woman I like a man that smells good even tough I don’t smell as good (I am working on it) wich is haha kinda funny. But your results of the experiment really surprised me.
@@reneeramirez2183 he is lying
You get approached by women? Damn its like yall are playing a different game : (
I've had trouble with the smiling part.
I'm on the spectrum, and upon learning this at the age of 15, I had to teach myself to display emotion, and I try to be as clear as possible due to feeling like I'm not communicating properly, which might lead to me overdoing it when I relax in a social situation.
When I smile, I mean it with all my heart, because I don't waste my effort on those who I feel don't deserve my limited energy.
Same here, and I personally think that just trying to be the kindest and most clean version of yourself that you're able to accomplish is enough for someone to find romantic interest in you
Yeah some of this video is kinda ableist cuz some things just come naturally to us like our body language or the faces we make
im so glad someone put it to words
Yeah like I CANNOT force myself to feel any emotions. If I'm neutral I cannot force myself to smile and actually mean it. When I'm sad or upset and don't want people to know, i can't force myself to smile. When I feel certain emotions that's how genuinely feel. When I'm actually happy I can't stop smiling.
I smile all the time because I have very intense emotions so when I'm happy I'm really happy and i stay happy. I didn't know it was a bad thing lol
The one person I've been with that I believe I genuinely loved wasn't exactly "conventionally attractive". She was kinda boyish and had short hair, and I get the feeling that most people wouldn't find her attractive based on her looks, but becuase I enjoyed her company so much, personally, I thought she was adorable. I thought everything about her was attractive. I think when you genuinely love someone, it doesn't matter what they look like, because they're perfect in your own eyes.
Boyish and short hair is not unattractive
@@Joodhandle I agree. That's why I said "conventionally attractive". Attraction is subjective, but there is a weird social standard, and boyish with short hair on a girl isn't typically viewed as socially or conventionally attractive. Also, random side note, me and this girl got back together recently, so I'm happy :)
@@pixlbunni Nice to hear (:
Are you a girl too
@@yochicoojm I am
Being a chronic insomniac, I can confer that my irritability isn’t very attractive and serves as a turn off. Not to mention my innate ability to just fall asleep mid sentece has failed to impress.
Right? It makes it so much harder to even just communicate with people. I've been around the biggest crushes of my life while functioning on zero sleep and it's just soul crushingly embarrassing how much harder it makes it to connect. Watching them lose interest while having no energy to even think straight can be so painful that it makes the sleep issues even worse too. People who don't suffer from chronic sleep/fatigue issues don't know how good they have it
If only. I usually take around 40 minutes to get to sleep, and that’s only if I’m tired. If I’m not, I’m getting anywhere. And did I mention that I wake up at the drop of a pen? I always realize that I’m dreaming, which for some reason causes me to remember to blink, which causes me to wake up. And I used to be the deepest sleeper before I started using alarms! Now it doesn’t matter if I have one or not, I’m still waking up as soon as the suns out!
Reminds me of the webtoon eaternal nocturnal
Instead of not having enough sleep, mine is not being fed. If I am not fed (like skipping breakfast) it shows, and makes me miserable to be around.
I get angry easy but if it's not caused by someone attacking me I usually (somehow) turn it into sadness and then I'll tell myself that crying for no reason is pathetic and that's how I calm myself down 👍
Hey Amanda did anyone ever tell u that u have such a nice and calming voice. I'm sure u've had this compliment a ton times.
It is good to note that these are found to be attractive to more people than not, which means there is still variation based on a lot of things.
For example, just because you fit all of these for a guy or a girl, they may still reject you, or be with you casually and end it because they aren't looking for commitment.
They may also just not value some of these things because of how/where they were raised and so they don't find them desirable even if they were found to correlate with better relationships.
Some people are also traumatized, maybe immature, etc.
There are many reasons why they may reject you regardless of whether you would make a good partner for them.
The things to learn are being able to tell your own faults and when to move on from someone.
so true trauma made it hard for me to connect and maintain any good relationship partner wise or friend Idm. No one is gonna love a hurt traumatized person cuz it's too much work for anyone. it's hard work for the person with it to work on it as well. but it's more important to work on it solo. so you won't add more to the trauma if they leave you is basically abandoning especially if you already open up and they made it seem like they here to help cuz it be rare to have those individuals. heal yourself to be true independence that's the gift of going through traumatic events, you are resilient and blessed to be alive. you are more powerful than the average human being because they die of loneliness
@@primitivemediations530 Eh I just found an equally traumatized person yk, probably not very healthy, but eh we make each other better people. Besides that the variantions are especially true, cuz I find sleep deprived people more attractive cuz it's like we're kindred spirits y'know. And also I don't mind people with a bit of an ego, cuz honestly in the situation I grew up in, I literally had no help, literally zero, my mom was the type of person who separates you from any other viewpoint or support system, she's like a fucking cultist. So when I did things they were literally all me since I had nobody else that even could help. I had to fight tooth and nail for every little bit and honestly it made me stronger yea. But I wish I didn't have to be. I did get some useful traits from it, such as my unwavering defiance. (Because whenever someone tells me I'm too fuckin dumbshit to do something I hit em with a not with that fuckin attitude and do it anyways exclusively as a very spiteful f*ck you) And my sense of chaos and mayhem. (Because there were times I literally had to Jack Sparrow it out of places, like throw a cup at the wall flip the table, punch the nearest fuckshit in the face and fly out of the room sorta thing.)
A lot of it as about timing. It's like everything has to come together for a relationship to work out. Many of the things you have zero control over.
This comment is underrated
I have to absolutely disagree with the smile one. People who always smile are more approachable, I always smile and many told me that my Joyful personality makes them laigh or they are happy to have me around. So always smile when you talk to someone, you'll put them more at ease
I think she means people who smile NO MATTER WHAT. As in, the person could be having a rough day, doesn't want to be bothered but you don't know that because the dude is smiling all the time with a nice tone. You take it as "oh they're super happy." and be playful with them only to get the feeling that through the fake smile and body language, they aren't playful. Now you look like an a-hole.
People don't like excessive smiling is what she means. Smiling through situations that don't call for your smile or smiling when you're giving off the wrong vibe to someone. My coworker is like that. I've had to walk on eggshells because I cannot guess his mood through his constant smiling.
People who always smile are the fakest people that you will ever meet.
Well.... fake smiles are not good
I smile quite a lot even if I try not to. It just happens out of the blue. Sometimes, it even happens without me noticing. I don’t think I can change that. I don’t fake smile unless it’s with relatives, since I get worried and nervous about them, but with others I never fake smile. I don’t know what to do.
I’m an optimistic person 😭 even when I’m feeling down I still try to smile and be happy to cheer myself up- I didn’t know that this was unattractive
Funnily enough, I actually like sleep deprivation. I have absolutely no clue why, but I think it makes a person hotter. The messy hair, the restless eyes, it’s just appealing to me. I also like rbfs a lot, and don’t really like smiles. But the smile of a person I really like can be nice
Restless eyes means eyes darting everywhere.
I honestly agree with this, I can imagine showing up to class and being able to steal glances at the person I like while their sleeping, and then when they have a good amount of energy, that honestly to me makes them even hotter-
Yeah and the sleepy voice fry, they also tend to be fellow neurodivergents so that's a bonus! :)
yea same here tbh
U gotta sleep more bro. Sleep deprivation can lead to brain aneurysm.
I'm just at the start of the video (0:50) and i'm already being called out 😭
Ikr🥲
"1. Being sleep dep--"
Alright, I'm already unattractive.
Idk some sleep deprived ppl r so nice n cute
I'M UGLY AND I'M PROUD!
Same 😭
@@urnotperfect I love how you own it 👌
This is why I hate myself-
I was very pleasantly surprised to see Edd, Tom, and Matt. I love all the references in these videos!
Glad you enjoyed it!
When I saw Matt i was like,
Bro this looks like Matt, eh just a coincidence.
Then I saw Tom and edd
I was looking for comments that noticed them!! Glad I found someone! :)
@@Psych2go I like how you draw the Eddsworld crew
@@Psych2goyour voice sounds so calming
This was a great video and it made me realize more about myself. Thanks!
Also, that Eddsworld reference at 2:27 had me smiling. I’ve watched them since 2017!
The only comment I saw about Eddsworld
I WAS LOOKING FOR THIS COMMENT!!!!
@@vhs2vcr LOLLLLL
eee I'm so glad others noticed!!!
Me looking for the one and only other person that noticed the eddsworld reference
3:30 I can't stop I'm js a happy person I'm always smiley 😭
This is real
don't change! it's okay to not be attractive rather than please their standard. Always smile, many will still appreciate your smile regardless.
@@BelleAme114preach
Smiley people are the best. Don't turn that off, please.
I think it has to do with people who are just too arrogant and will be perceives as such. In the other hand, a nice, humbled, smiley person can be found very appealing.
Being attractive still varies for different mindsets ig. I don't find people who have expressive body language attractive. I cannot care less about their haggard appearance. I don't find humbleness attractive either. It's just what it is, it never draws me in. So, there is nothing like, "this is always attractive". It is just a perception of finding something appealing/unappealing. It's just mind, not the truth.
Yeah, it's a waste of our time thinking about whether people find us attractive or not. No matter how attractive I am, I am still ugly for many people. Guys, just don't find a reason to be yourself. Being yourself is like existing. You cannot live as a worker bee while being a queen bee or vice versa. Accepting yourself is the only way to get peace and joy within yourself. Otherwise, you keep struggling with yourself like a trapped mouse or something. All the best in that 🤞
(I, the one who ranted am terribly insecure about attractiveness but.....I am slowly understanding things. Getting aware of things you already know is the first step in healing anything. Hope this long-ass comment helps someone in getting aware for nth time. It helped me!)
While I agree with you in that the specific traits mentioned are relative and subjective. There are things that we do that can kill attraction. Being negative, clingy, neglectful, lying... Anything that will make you lose trust in a person. Love is created when we feel safe enough to be vulnerable with that person. And anything that kills that safe place, will kill the attraction.
The definition of humble as it's used in the video means not arrogant or prideful. You prefer arrogance and pridefulness?
a lot of truth in your comment. Many people won't achieve anything by being "themselves" and need to actively develop some traits or straight up act. It's sad but this is how it is. Don't let anyone fool you telling you to "just be yourself". If for any reason you hear that advice, being yourself was probably a problem from the beginning.
@@TheSouthIsHot I greatly appreciate humbleness but it never attracts me. It's not my type tbh. This doesn't mean I specifically prefer arrogance and attitude. Like how some people find funny people attractive while others just appreciate that trait, I appreciate humbleness...but don't get attracted to it.
@@endlesswonderland205 👍
Wow, loving the references on this channel! Seems like you guys are going for a lot of different fandoms, and personally, I feel seen whenever the fandom I'm currently or previously been in shows up on your videos. I'm getting hit with nostalgia after seeing Matt, Tom, and Edd from Eddsworld:D
who is the character in your profile picture? looks super familiar.
@@maefaemusic Kara from Detroit Become Human
Glad you enjoy it!
yeha
I’m still in the eddsworld fandom right now if you couldn’t tell by my username
My username being sleep deprived💀
Real trauma in today's life
AHAHAH
That's so hot
@@АлексейСергеевич-к8щhuh? 😭
@@АлексейСергеевич-к8щ eyebrow raise 🤨
0:35 i've also noticed prolonged time with someone helps you find the attractive aspects of a person. also going through hardships together helps develop a friendship that can lead to a relationship.
Contractive body language is something I've done subconsciously as a woman whenever I didn't want the attention of certain people around around me. Especially when around men I was feeling uncomfortable around and was trying to be noticed less by them. I'm sure I'm not the only person who has done something like that subconsciously while feeling uncomfortable or feeling the need to protect themselves in that subtle way.
fact number two is actually really cool. I read about MHC molecules in Philipp Dettmers book "Immune" (recommended if you want to learn about the immune system in a fun way) and I was mindblown. As mentioned in this video, they make the body smell a certain way. smell is a big factor when you're falling in love with someone. the body also thinks your siblings or those closley related to you smell "worse" in a love-sense to prevent incest. I think there are two types of MHC molecules and I cant remember if both affect your smell or if its only one.
Lmao interesting. XD
I feel like if someone is too open that freaks me out. So when it comes to contractive body language vs expansive body language is kinda a balance you have to try and strike. Plus if you just genuinely feel uncomfortable in a situation anyone would feel uncomfortable in, but you don't look uncomfortable, I would personally read that as being a little weird. Not super weird but just a tiny little bit. I get what the overarching point of what you mean though, but you should keep this in mind imo.
Some people who are open immediately are either 1. actually confident, friendly and mentally strong people. It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable to a stranger. People who are strong knows the difference between vulnerability and weakness. 2. They do it to see what you're about. To see if you can be trusted, if you're a judgmental a-hole, if you have confidence and dignity. It's screening basically. 3. Some do it to run you away. It was a tactic my now bestie of 15+ years did to me. He admitted to me many years later that that was his go-to to drive people away from him because he suffered from depression and anxiety. It didn't work on me because my social skills was all weird back then.
Dobert
@@RozettaVyper I'm glad you two became friends. It's pretty clear he needed you. XD
Wow, I really do not like people like you, if someone opened up to me I would accept them. This is why people feel like they can’t talk to anyone. 💀
"Attraction is actually a complex thing involving the whole person, flaws and all" In my opinion clumsiness is not so bad.
Knowing difference between being proud vs arrogant is vital. For some people who doesn't usually have things to be proud might boast about their success for a while
for contractive body language, i will say that for me its the opposite. I feel more threatened by someone who holds their arms open to me, and would rather hang with someone who prefers to be a 'turtle'. To me, it doesn't say 'dont come close'. it says to me 'im not a threat' and i like that. idk what it is about being greeted with open arms that makes me fearful.
Maybe it makes you wonder if or what they are hiding. Most people don’t hold themselves in such a vulnerable pose, so maybe they are over compensating.
I just don't like sudden movements.
ngl u might have sum trauma
@@AizakkuZ na fr
Maybe you are adverse to all this social hugging like me? Whenever someone i just met comes at me with open arms i feel like yelling "We don´t have that kind of relationship yet!" Also its like an oven outside atm, do i really still have to accept people mashing their sweaty body up against mine just so I won´t be considered unattractive or unapproachable? God its so hard fitting in sometimes...
2:05 - I love how Psych2Go includes characters of different shows in their videos!!!!
4:02 what are you trying to say I’m not turtle enough for the turtle club .. * turtle turtle *
I like how this video is giving you advice on how to actually control yourself and take care of yourself as well
The only reason for my contractive body language is just trauma.
I’ve gone through a lot.
It’s really hard to trust people nowadays…
I wish I could, but it’s nearly impossible
Hope you get rid of ur trama soon
Yeah
It's okay mike. It really is. (Or will be) God bless.
@@keithhudgins1904 thank you. 🥺💕
If your trauma was due to relationships, if you haven't already, it might help to learn about narcissism. I went through a lot of relationship trauma and finding out about narcissism was the only thing that ever gave me any closure and helped me see red flags I was ignoring before. I promise you, there are good people out there too.
I always thought that the thing that made me unattractive was my face. Now you're telling me that it was just my chronic insomnia, dead fish eyes, and tendency to lean backwards with my hands in my pockets? What a relief.
real
You voice is so calmingggggg it calms my soul and gives me shivers down the spine
2:20 that eddsworld reference tho
+Psych2go *Thanks for the list of repulsive traits:*
0:48 (1) Sleep deprivation
1:28 (2) Body odors contraindicative of histocompatibility
2:11 (3) Obsession on appearances
2:42 (4) Lack of humility
3:36 (5) Excessive pride
4:01 (6) Contractive body language
Thanks for the list!
Saved me whole 5 minutes. What a chad
Love the Eddworld's referance on 2:38
what is it do you mean the last one
Thank you for making me feel worse than before about myself by telling me that I am basically screwed for life. Appreciate it.
welll um I don't really think she was trying to hurt any one 😊
may I ask why exactly do you think you are screwed for life ?
respectfully I do mind my own business.....
but the way you wrote kinda worries me
I absolutely love the fact that you put matt for the excessive caring over looks 😆
I’m glad I am not the only one that noticed eddsworld
Other people who know about it!-
1. Never occurred to me
2. Can be changed, but yes
3. Maybe they're just insecure, I wouldn't mind working through that with them
4. Definitely
5. Overly smiley could be something they can't help / too proud could go either way
6. Doesn't matter
And this is just me, even these things differ based on someones preference. Stay safe out there y'all.
some of those things are hardwired into our subconscious, so I think it'd be difficult to say they "don't matter" unless you are literaly built different
I'd rather be a narcissist than smell bad
I like your open hearted perspective. Respect.
Thank you...! I am so 3 😢
Yeah
I feel like the only thing i do from these is having 'excessive focus on appearance'. It's not because I'm obsessed with myself or I'm a narcissist or something, it's just cause I'm really really insecure. About my face, body, everything. I don't wanna be 'less attractive' or something but i just can't help it :(
That's not attractive either
@guess who maybe not for u. Ur only spreading bad vibes to people who already feel uncomfortable so u can either deal with it or delete ur comment bc ur rude
And that's the new unattractive🙄
@@guesswho5790 neither is your attitude
Insecurity comes from false self image. You gotta fix whats on the inside, not the outside. I recommend reading Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. Its a really great book about mental health and our self image.
@@barakaobama4017 okk i'll read the book for sure tyy
This video is so calm and makes things seem nice, and then I look on twitter and instagram and wonder what is even real anymore.
Totally agree on that one
Open mindedness and the ability to think things through, even the things you don't agree with, civilly is a huge plus for me. I like people who are naturally curious and respectful.
Ive never understood beauty standards because
1: even if i think someone is attractive, i wont actually be attracted to them until i get to know them, then they become 10x more attractive to me
2: personally i think commonly " not attractive" things such an large or crooked noses, dark circles under eyes, wonky teeth/tooth gap, ect are so attractive, i just love them so much and i know im not the only one so i just dont get why people have these unnaturally difficult beauty standards. Everyone is beautiful to someone.😊
Demisexual, perhaps?
Vid #4 of trying to request a video highlighting the following topics:
1. What you can do if you can't access therapy.
2. Signs your therapist might be harming rather then helping your mental health.
3. What to do in life situations that a therapist cannot fix.
I'm waiting for such a video for a some time too. It would be truly helpful, not only "informative".
These could be helpful topics. Thanks for suggesting!
I was actually pretty worried that this would really hit my currently-fragile self-confidence (healing from some hurts), but this was delightfully presented and helped me realize that I'm doing better than I think 😌
Attraction is definitely more than skin deep. Physical appearance may be the initial spark, but what’s inside is what keeps you bound to each other. Looking back on past partners, they looked like the most attractive person in the world at the beginning of the relationship. Once I got to see the real them and realized we weren’t compatible, they no longer seem “attractive” to me. Human attraction is bizarre.
Hii!! Do you know what the background music name is?
Love that u put Eddsworld character here
I thought I was the only one that noticed
same
fr i saw no other comments talking about the eddworld reference
I just noticed that too xd
I am glad someone else also noticed!
My humility score is so much in the negative that it actually qualifies as self-loathing. That has to be pretty unattractive too (it was already talked about in a video about things that ruin relationships). I'm okay with that though because I never want to be seen as attractive again.
:(
Same, it's been like that for 7 years, and I'm ok with that too, I'm pretty used to it
self loathing is also egocentric
@@caijon123 Eh. It is if you pester people about it. My only living relative, grandma, doesn't know about it and I don't let her. Other than that, I live alone. I don't need attention to my self-loathing, it's just my most probable pastime when no one's around. Otherwise I just try to smile and be helpful.
@@Lernos1 it doesn’t have to be that way!
I'm very smiley ☺️ but I'm also AuDHD. And most people (including my husband) say it's my best personality feature. I've tried a smaller smile 😃 but most people say it makes me look sly 😼 and they're not quite into that. I had to practice smiling for work. It doesn't really come naturally when I'm scared or nervous and outside my home I'm both of these things. So I don't agree with the smile one either 🙂 when I have time off though I mostly stay in.
2:12 - 2:30, im so happy, you put Eddsworld characters in this video! i havent seen anyone put them in a video like this in so long 🥹🥹
As someone who has a deep seeded hatred for themselves, loving yourself is, unfortunately, a big one. The amount of times I've heard from girls at the end of the relationship say "How do you expect someone to love you when you can't love yourself."
But you can't force someone to love you... Can I force myself to love me?
Hey, it's been a month since you made this comment. How are you doing now? Hating yourself sucks, and it's hard to break out of. You can't force you to love yourself. It's a gradual process of accepting yourself for who you are. It will be a challenge, and you will need a good support group. Even though it might seem pointless, and you might feel like you will be stuck like this forever, try to do a little better each day. Find good coping strategies and try to change your mindset a bit at a time. When you find yourself putting yourself down, take a deep breath, and focus on your surroundings. Remind yourself that you're not perfect, but with each passing day, you will strive to be the person you want to be. Smile and just live. You have to be able to put in the effort to do this. You have to be willing to believe that you got what it takes to change and that all comes down to making the first step. I believe in you
I apologize if I'm overstepping my boundaries. I struggle with self-hatred, and it's hard. I'm trying to be better each day, though, and doing my best to be a nicer person to myself. I would recommend journaling when you are in those moments where you hate yourself so much that you want to tear yourself apart. Putting all of your emotions and thoughts on paper, from my experience, really helps. Anyways, you got this! Remember that you miss all of the shots you don't take. Keep trying, and do your best!
Hope you're doing well, and that you've found a way to love yourself
This phrase really infuriates me. How can I love myself if no one loves me? To love myself I must know that I am valuable, but everyone around me proves the opposite to me
@@duck33
but your worth and value shouldn't be decided by others.. thats why its *self* love
1:27 NAH THIS AINT FAIR, i was born with a diverse condition where my body tend to sweat quicker then others.
Well you can use deodorant, but srsly would you like to stick w a person that smells like crap-
Actually sweat doesn't smell , its the waste the bacteria from sweat excrete . Sooooo... just bathe alot 👍
Its also super annoying when you sweat a lot when you literally started playing football 5 minutes ago
loving yourself - *shows matt*
I’m currently in a good relationship and am very worried that I’ll mess it up somehow, I’m watching these videos to find out what not to do
Just be you if they dont like you back whatever you dont need them you only need yourself to be awesome
Always communicate with them - about anything like that expecially
If your relationship is healthy, you won't need to worry about messing up - everyone makes mistakes in relationships, after all. If you really are worried about it, talking to your partner could be a good idea! But only if you feel safe and comfortable.
@@lisamoran8425 Ya but people need to reajust sometimes, saying random "be who your are, you are perfect"' also prevent people from reflecting on themselves which is crucial because nobody is born perfect, every decision we make carves your personality a bit more and it's important to always take a step back, be honest with ourselves and adjust ourselves.
Withdraw yourself from all those distressing thoughts of the probability that your relationship could possibly split asunder and implode, and instead-just be yourself. For someone who is truly fond of you would never deign to deride you nor disapprove of you, nor reject you just because you happened to make some mistake or raise an inconvenience in the midst of the relationship. And there comes to be nothing wrong with that whatsoever, unless that mistake turns out to be one too grave to be forgiven, which is one that can never be indeliberate or committed without any priorly devised plan.
2:25 yooo Edd's word's
I am attracted to someone I can have a deep and interesting debate with. 'What are your views on logical positivism?' is one of my opening lines.
I'm attracted to people who don't get overly emotional over meaningless things, and will let me speak my mind without getting hurt/offended and then blow up about it.
That's how you don't get bitches
This
man now im going to have to look up what that means so i dont feel stupid.
@@Soyed_Boy right. To the dictionary
*📝don’t get enough sleep, stink, hate myself, be self-absorbed/obsessed, force myself to smile a lot (I never do), stay in my shell, got it, thanks for the tips!(:*
honestly real.
OMG MATT AT 2:19
2:00 minutes in its eddsworld....I love eddsworld
A problem with the body language thing is that there is no relationshio between crossing your arms and pushing people away. So if a possible partner infers this from your body language they are essentially putting words in your mouth. As healthy partners we should endeavour to accurately understand another person so as to know them as they are. Rather, going about modifying your body language based on other's interpretations would be a form of self-harming people-pleasing.
You want the people who will love you for who you are, not for who you change yourself to become (with the exception of harmful behaviours.)
I get what you're saying, but I'm not sure I agree 100%. I'm autistic and have behaviors that at first glance seem rude, such as not making eye contact, and that's just because that's how it easily gets interpreted, I'm not trying to be rude. But I can't expect people on first meeting to flock to me to try to understand my mannerisms or overlook them when they don't even know I'm autistic and what that entails, especially when I know how it may look to them. It's up to me to relay that information to them if I want to possibly establish any kind of relationship. It's not on the other person, and making the change to look them in the eye even if it makes me uncomfortable doesn't change me as a person. I'm merely adapting enough to let them feel welcomed in order to connect.
@@victoriavaldivia515 I get what you're saying, I just guess I'm at a point where I think that kind of inner-monologue is a kind of internalized ableism broadcast at us by neurotypical social norms and instead we should expect our diverse array of unique quirks to be explored, understood and accepted. We don't deserve to contort ourselves into the forms we are not because others are neurotypical and expect likeness. No, you deserve better.
@@victoriavaldivia515 Also I totally did not mean to mirror your "I get what your saying..."
body language is incredibly important and crossed arms, body turned away from the person, no eye contact, hunched posture, etc have ALWAYS been seen as being unapproachable and/or that youre disinterested in what one has to say.
yes, sometimes we cant help our posture or body language because of certain health conditions, mental disabilities or traumas, and, in those cases, you cannot always take one's body language at face value. that is why communication is key in relationships. if you have a physical condition that forces you to be hunched over due to chronic pain or you have autism that may cause you to act inappropriately in social environments, as two examples, it's important to communicate as much to your partner; this is especially important if emotional/mental trauma is involved. in that way, if your body language seems closed off, your partner will not think negatively of it because they know it isnt your fault and they can help you in any way they can to help you improve or alleviate your pain (in the case of physical disabilities).
theres also ofc the fact we are unaware we're scowling or have our posture presenting an aggressive attitude. we tend to relax into a posture that feels most natural and comfortable to us (which also may or may not be related to our inner, psychological selves) and we dont mean to come off as rude and/or disinterested. in those instances, we have to be told "Hey, you're crossing your arms again, relax your body" so we can get out of that habit and show a more open, welcoming posture.
i agree someone shouldnt always take another's body language so seriously and/or personally, but it's still very much a factor in one's presentability as well as attractiveness. so long as you communicate, everything will be fine 😄
@@Mariewolf_94 *seen as. Well believed in the business community. Well debunked in psychology and intelligence gathering. Often this belief is as I said just putting words in someone's mouth. Misperception treated as reality.
To the people struggling with these types of things,
There is no need to look or act perfect. As long as you are yourself, show gratitude and proudness to yourself, there is no need to seek for other’s attentions. May you all succeed.
2:46 i love the eddsworld reference
it's at 2:34
2:06 is that MATT EDDSWORLD?
ITS IS :DDD EEYYYYY
YOOOOOO
Frrrr
HELLL YEAAAA
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
sleep deprivation also applies to the loss of company. sure they’re there but they’re unconscious and asleep and its like lost time spent together. its upsetting bc why would u disturb someones rest unless important?
off topic but, I sometimes listen to your voice because it is so calming, and is like an anxiety relief sometimes. something about it just makes me feel calmer, and safer. I always love watching your videos, and I love the animation style. I also think you could make a lot of videos like those but just like videos to help with anxiety, or anything else. like an online therapist or something. idk tho. sorry about this really long comment that's really off topic, just wanted to say this. thanks! again, love your animation styl!
I never thought about the last part... My crush always hugs me and stuff like that and I mostly just stand in an awkward position when that happens... so the last part really helps! I'll try applying it. Thanks!!
I know it’s obviously supposed to be this way but Whoever voices these really makes this feel like a comfortable space to wind down while getting good advice.
I think the most number one thing that makes you unattractive is manipulation and false pretenses
The last tip was pretty useful for me, thanks
amazing video! this really inspired me to be more self conscious about my personality and how i act toward my crush. also i love that Eddsworld reference- im a big fan of the show.
SOMEONE ACTUALLY POINTED IT OUT OML
@@Suguru_Get0zz YESSS LMFAO
Wow I didn’t know my sleep deprivation makes me unattractive- I had someone who liked me while I was first sleep deprived around 2 years ago tho. Idk if they still like me but they probably don’t anymore lol
Lol
Lol
Lmao 😅🤣
4:18 bro I naturally cross my arms bc it's comfortable damn
I love smiling. Smiling makes me happy, and I live happier that way. If things get rough and I don't want to smile, I still smile because smiling makes it less rough for me. Might seem like I'm doing a fake smile, but I genuinely want to smile, and I believe that I'm smiling genuinely, so is it really fake? I'm not doing it to hide what I'm feeling, I'm doing it to make me happy and smile more. Also smiling a lot in public, makes other people smile from what I've noticed. So, if being overly smiley is something unattractive, then I'm ugly all the way.
Firstly, I think it's important to acknowledge that attraction is indeed a complex thing. It's not just about physical beauty, but rather a combination of factors that involve both the external and internal aspects of a person. The video highlights some of the psychological factors that can make someone less attractive, and I think it's valuable to consider these factors when trying to build new relationships or maintain existing ones.
One of the factors that stood out to me is the importance of being approachable. It's true that when meeting someone for the first time, we rely on sight to give us an initial assessment of the person. If someone appears tired or unkempt, it can be off-putting and may affect how we perceive their overall attractiveness. This is why getting enough sleep and taking care of ourselves is crucial not just for our physical health, but also for our social interactions.
Another interesting point in the video is the role of body smell in attraction. It's fascinating to learn that our body odor is influenced by our genes, specifically the major histocompatibility complex (MHC). Studies have found that people are generally more attracted to individuals with dissimilar MHCs, which may encourage gene variability and stronger immune systems. This just goes to show that there are deeper biological factors at play when it comes to attraction.
I also agree with the video's point about the importance of not being overly focused on appearance. While it's important to look and feel good, being obsessed with one's self-image can be a turn-off for others. Substance and character are just as important in building and maintaining relationships.
Finally, the video emphasizes the significance of nonverbal communication and body language in attraction. Having an open and expansive posture is generally seen as more attractive than a closed and contractive posture. This is because a contractive posture may convey a message of not being open or welcoming to others, while an expansive posture can make us appear more confident and approachable.
Overall, I think the video provides valuable insights into the complex factors that contribute to attraction. While we may not be able to control some of these factors, such as our genes and body odor, we can certainly work on the aspects that we can control, such as our posture, social skills, and character. By being aware of these psychological factors, we can better understand ourselves and others and build more meaningful and fulfilling relationships.
Did you just take the entire videos transcript and run it through ChatGPT and paste the response into the comments?
@@Rotary1999im pretty sure it is
I ain't gonna read all that
Anyone know the background music background?
A beautiful soul = A beautiful mind = A beautiful body🙏
_thats some fucking cap_
That's almost on point with one of my Favorite Phrases.
So that's why my mind and body look like shit.
Ok bluepilled💀, you can be a sub 5 and a genius too, you realize?
As uplifting and positive as this is, they are 3 different things independent of one another. You can be the most ugly human being on Earth but have an amazing personality and a big heart.
your videos are so aesthetically pleasing i cant stop watching them 😭😭💗
weirdly enough I find sleep deprivation and closed-off body language attractive. I find it cute when someone looks a little bit tired it makes me want to take care of them and make them feel better. I also find softer-spoken and introverted people more attractive because I am an introvert myself so I like when other people are reserved in their body language and actions.
So basically what I'm saying is there is someone for everyone even if you don't fit the typical standard of what is attractive there will always be outliers who like you for you and will love you where you're at.
So true, this deserves more recognization, I'm all on ur side about this opinion.
I'm hoping to get a partner one day. I'd give them my love. I would do everything I could to make them feel welcomed without going too far
Perfectly true, there’s a girl at my school I became friends with maybe 6 months ago and I went from thinking she is kinda ugly to being alright to absolutely being head over heels thinking she’s beautiful because as I got to know her and loved her personality attraction came along with it
Frfr
Same, but I fumbled since she used to like me, and I didn't get the hints she was dropping
I am missing a lot of these, people already like my personality a lot but you just listed everything i need to work on physically, i will try these out. Thanks!
0:48
I remember being so sleep deprived because I would stay up all night so I could fall asleep in class because my bf thought it was cute when I fell asleep in class.
From the moment he said it was cute I had made it my personal mission to fall asleep in class everyday.
What the hell? 😂
@@MicJackson58 I was a simp. lol
@@halfhalf2821 SIMP!!!
‘Banjo avoidance’ and ‘human turtle’ will forever be in my vocabulary now, that was too good lol Starting to think something that makes me less attractive irl is how intensely I stare at people when they talk to me. It’s like I can’t even talk to most people without them getting wigged out and breaking down like I’m Ted Bundy getting my photo taken or something. Is there therapy to get rid of predatory stares? Shvt is killing my friend prospects over here 🐢
Could you please explain what ‘banjo avoidance’ is to me? Is it a reference to something? Please help I’m stupid
@@CJ-nd9gg Hint: Think about the American south.
@@CJ-nd9gg Siblings “love”
“Don’t turtle yourself”
@@Gavin_M. I don’t get it 🪦
The way she talks is really interesting. It's like we're listening directly face to face with someone who's spreading advices to us.
wow i came back to watch this and i am so cooked on the 4th one cuz im an over smiley type of person... like everything could make me blush and smile and sometimes its just too much and overly big smile it make me look like i smoke some stuff before enter a conversation and i am so embarassed by that...
thank you for making this video! 💗
This explains a lot about me. I have been told many times I’m so unapproachable, with that and a few more on here I can identify with, this explains why I’m alone
0:01 POV: You clicked on the timed (beta) feature
HOW DID U KNOW
Not a beta anymore
I was always so tired and I would at ppl like im dead and some kid had a crush on me.. Ill take that being tired can SOMETIMES to DIFFERENT ppl will make you attractive
same with me
Yeah all my friends have insomnia
The sentence make no sense
@@darkprincessanimationprob because she was tired
@@Andres.Duran.J if she was tried then why did she wrote the comment? It doesn't make sense really.. -_-
Oh my god your voice is so like.... soft, see im sensitive, so hearing your voice filled with joy and not being too much is rare fir me too hear
My pal really said 1 bad thing of each person from my group of friends 💀
but damn, i love the vibe from your videos, and this really will help me in my "no cringe bro" project (just how i call myself trying to be an actual human being instead of an [no]hole), so i want to thank you for making this video, even if it's probably for educational purposes, this helps sooo many people, including me!
My contractive behavior is because I'm trying to stay warm. I only care about my self-image when I'm around others. I smile a lot, because people tell me to cheese, when taking pictures. Sleep Deprived, because I keep failing to fall asleep of because responsibilities and social media and health effects it all has together. I'm a completely different person when around different people, because I'm not the same around friends, family and someone I'm interested in. Also sometimes I'm just singing alongside everyone else along the way. I'm only ever truly me, because I'm choosing not to modify my behavior for others. My behavior can also be modified for a situation, I'm new to or not used to. It's like trying to get outside my comfort zone to find myself wanting to go back to my comfort zone. There's also my behavior being different when working and when at school. It's tiring when I don't get to enjoy things with others, especially when, I don't know who to thank or who did something special for me.
Also when your dealing with parents who think they know what's best for your future, but have actively screwed up almost every one of your decisions in life. It breaks the trust between family members. Just wanting to be in the sidelines is my way of life.
I'll be honest, around my family I'm pretty much myself, but around other people I either get really quiet and go about my business, or I end up getting dragged into conversations and adopt a confident and joking persona, whether I want to or not.
2:52 That was a bit specific...
Her voice her politeness its just heavenly, angelic, beautiful and pure❤
You are LOVED ✨
You are STRONG ✨
You are ENOUGH ✨
Remember that. Love - Nat ❤️
A few days ago I watched the movie "The Help", a wonderful movie. A nanny and maid said that to a little girl all the time.
Thanks, I needed to see this today. Blessings to you friend🌹🍀🙏
Love that movie
@Sky Blue don’t worry dog. Screw people who judge you and stuff. What they gonna do? Ur enough. You don’t have to do anything great to be a good person. Train yourself to be strong mentally. You can do it my friend.
@@skyblue5220 you can build strength, you can push through without love, and if you're enough for yourself then society can burn, because this isn't society's life, it's yours.