I physically react to a narc now, my body is telling me something is wrong. I become anxious, feeling like I’ve been plugged into an electric socket. My body telling me to “get away”.
Met his entire family first weekend, listened to him complain about every woman that had ever been in his life. First date he talked about his mother all night, red flags red flags, I know them now but I am 3 years out and just starting to heal.........worst experience of my life. Closest I have ever come to pure evil.
They are The Lower The Lower Those Parasites are infected The World . Thank you Paula . RUclips Channels are educated US people not familiar with NARCS Individuals . Sick black hole 🤔👽🤖🤡
Potential Signs During the Love-Bomb Stage of a Relationship with a Covert Narcissist 1. Warning sign: overly excited and overly stressed 2. Info gathering in order to determine if they should pursue you 3. Will 'big up' their accomplishments 4. Will pretend no knowledge of your huge achievements, and that it's you they love 5. They are persistent 6. Will quickly introduce you to their family who will also love bomb you 7. The weekends away with you 8. Will not acknowledge you via social media as their partner 9. Will want to move in quickly 10. Will quickly want you to meet their children 11. Will launch into victim role and test to see how much you are prepared to do for them 12. Multiple marriages, relationships 13. Debt 14. Intense relationship with one parent 15. Amazing sex (initially) 16. Indispensable; will ghost you
Agree with all except 6 and 7. I was never introduced to a single family member. The promised weekends away were 'future faking' and never materialised. Although, the other ex, who he has returned to (if he ever really left) got both.
@@annewoodcock-rr8zv It sounds like you're describing an overt narcissist, whose behavior is easily recognizable to those familiar with the signs. However, in this context, we're focusing on the covert narcissist, whose behavior during the love-bombing phase is more subtle and sophisticated, making it less obvious to detect.
The “Aim of the Game”! He nursed me through 3 surgeries (heart and two Orthopedic). He was a retired fireman 👨🚒. I had so much love and respect for him. It was a NARC CON job. I paid off a loan and listened to his future faking. He was so smooth. 10 years later and immense betrayal, I know him to be a Covert Narcissist with high psychopathy traits. Education on Narcissists is the key. Thank you Paula.
I had this. He came to me at the LOWEST point of my life. The only one that was there to help me in such a dark time. Came to the hospital..checked in on me morning, day, and night. Everyone else had given up on me. Little did I know his motives were NOT what I thought!
@@meredithyoung9200That’s the devil 😈 playing with God’s children. My Priest told me I need to learn “Discernment.” Well, I’ve learned to trust no one.
I was married to a narcissist for 35 years every thing you say is true. He would put me on a pedestal and then knock me off, over and over. I was on the verge of insanity when I left. And he found another victim within two months. I'm blessed to have found a good therapist.
They are so addicting at the beginning. It feels like it's too good to be true. There were so many red flags that I ignored. Not anymore. Thanks, Paula and Remy. 🐕 ❤️
agree with U . me too . I see so many Red flag 😳 in the beginning not can put together . Take me 5 months to open my eyes and know what a NARCS Individuals mean 😩 learning experience . We have to value ourselves , we worth it and we don't deserve less 💯 we are Real we can move on Thank God 🙏 The NARCS living in they black hole , That mini Cult they have their feasting from each other in their own misery they Create Hell in earth . Degenerate Creatures . Not a Human .👽🤖👾👻👹🤡
Passive aggressive compliments are definitely a sign. They point out your flaws to bring you down and make you insecure. For example saying 'I love that for you' to express dislike for something but still compliment it.
Met a guy today that is likely a narcissist. Was so self-absorbed that he only talked about himself and did not acknowledge or comment on one thing I said, despite him initiating the conversation. I realized after the 30 minute or so conversation how frustrating the interaction had been and that if it were to have progressed further, would likely have become a "relationship of inevitable harm."
Go grey rock with everyone you meet... refuse to engage , stop Looking upon them as a magical person who is the love of your life. Know who you are and what you want to offer a potential partner. Go forward with that knowledge, and look for the same person,. With the same mindset
From intense love bombing and intense ‘needing you’ to dropping you like a hot potato. Welcome to the covert, malignant narc! Saw enough to never go there again, words and behaviour never matched up. Feeling the benefits of being out (two whole) years. Takes about this long to get back to normal, I think. An exhausting ride. Your words are always on point, Paula. ❤️🙏
I'm in year 3 and just started therapy. Didn't need this at 70, at this age these monsters have been at the game a long time. He just married someone else she couldn't wait to get him down the aisle. I hope I don't have to witness her demise, the fall is coming she just doesn' t know it yet. I have nothing but pity for her.
The next ones don’t know what they are getting into. I too feel sorry for them. They are just the next victims for the narcissist’s shoddy web. It’s a cruel game.
Paula, I appreciate this video so much! I got out of a relationship with what I now know was a covert narcissist. It went on for 9 months before I finally broke it off, but that experience nearly did me in. My physical and mental health has spiraled down significantly because of what I went through. I didn't understand what was happening to me at the time, I just knew I felt so CONFUSED and so anxious! I gave way too much of myself away emotionally to someone who didn't deserve it. And he acted like it was my obligation! I'm out of that relationship almost 3 years now, and still feeling the repurcussions. Digging my way out of the abyss. I have examined that relationship with a fine-toothed comb, and I now understand how he was able to lure me in and trap me. I know what to watch out for now! Your 13 signs are very important to remember. The one that struck me the most was when they ask you probing questions about your family, and your past, and difficulties you've had in your life. He did this with me, and I stupidly thought he was just interested in me. Ha! Now I know he was fishing for information to use against me, and trap me. I know better now, and I'm very guarded about giving information about myself to those I don't know well.
My had some bad teeth or gums, he had frequent dental appointments and maintenance but NEVER explained why. The also had skin ... it was like a suit... it was creepy and my thought at the end loud and clear, "demonic entity " a demon in a skinsuit. It was a demon.
You are so spot on when it comes to money, Paula. This particular ex has more than enough money for a life of luxury, even uses this fact as a trap for futurefaking but nevertheless will not spend anything into the relationship but wanted to Trick me spending my money always. But it didn't work and he was upset😂
Listen to this Woman ! Please! Let me tell you brothers and sisters these people out here explaining this problem to you is a miracle. Don’t fight them. God sent these people help you. When I left Tony my abuser I had none of this information. I was lucky the Lord hid me in the palm of his hand. Holy moly “I am alive” and I got enjoy with hard work my Grand children DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THEIR LOWNESS for they will pull you down stomp on you and leave you for dead. You are not real to them you are a snapshot. Run when you can. Oh and no one is going to believe you. YOU believe you. I will pray for you. You can do it. K.
this lecture is priceless , how do u get the police to study the characteristic of a criminal , that's who they are 1st they rob you , financially then they enslave you , after they beat u up , without the shadow of the doubt they terrorise , the worse part no one believes you , try as u may ro run away , u are trapped , financially , the worst part u will be on ur own without your family & friends every thing in your wonderful life ; puff , gone forever , life sucks , ennui sets in .the end .
Thank you Paula for your insight into these despicable demons that leach off of empath folk. I can agree and identify with what you are saying. When a narcissist seeks an empath and they see that they have quite a strong and determined character the narcissist does not persevere for too long because they realise it is going to be an uphill battle for them and the nut(empath) is not as easy to crack like previous ones! I laughed when you said that when Remy hears “action” his thoughts are probably “ oh boy here we go again bla bla bla these idiot people! Time to look at my eye lids” he has become wise with all your teaching us 😂 Bless you Paula and master Remy for all you give in helping us to understand why life is so horrendous 🙏🐕😊
"The creature you are dealing with..."...I love you so much Paula! Great points with the intense relationship with one parent and the "best sex" ever at first. I would also like to add that they book your life for the next year with them. They seem to always have an event in the future for you two to be committed to. This makes it hell for the break up. They are also VERY intense. The smothering will start right away. The key is that their motives are manipulation and control. If you can catch that motive early..you are good to go! They don't EMPOWER you and encourage YOU to be independent and the best YOU you can be. They want to be the reason you are happy.
Good afternoon Paula and sweet Remy in peaceful slumber 😊❤️❤️ I made a promise to myself I won’t get involved with another narcissist ever again I will pray and ask God to send me someone 😊🙏🏾
OMG Paula...how many times I had to agree aloud listening to this video? Cant count...my ex introduced me to his mom within a month of meeting him and she love bombed me throughout my time in their lives....their relationship would feel odd at times...especially where I would feel the energy from her as if she was a jealous lover...it was so strange....she gaslit me when he wasnt around to do it and sometimes I would have to defend myself against the both of them simultaneously.... It was like she had a stance in the relationship somehow....its hard to describe but as usual you hit the nail on the head....
My ex Covert Narcissist’s mother told me”He’s too busy to cheat on you”. I know NOW she was gaslighting me. 10 years and I am positive he was cheating on me the entire time. STD’s were my receipts. They have no empathy.
This one perfectly complements the narc repellant video you made on 'Who Do Narcissists FEAR The Most' - It inspires me to sing my narrative, and live according to who I am....They try to hijack the narrative and our soul energy, but your words are ammunition for its self-defense, and to keep things calm. That's why Remy is the way he is....
Yes I believe my ex Narcissist and his mother had an abnormally strange relationship. It’s who he financially betrayed our marriage for her and her estate.
Yup. They are probably inmeshed in a incestual way. Not necessarily physically. My narc mother was this way. Im an empath btw. She was super jealous of women around me or eyeing me up. She one time when i was a teen told me to hold her hand in the supermarket and act like her boyfriend. F-in gross. Purposely walked in on me when with my girlfriend if you know what i mean. Shes also was a stalker. Was involved in gangstalking me. She died not long after the stalking. God doesn't like his children being abused and will only give so many chances to repent
Very helpful summary, thank you. I would like to add the bad mood they are often in and of course the contempt towards other people especially when those people are living a happy and joyful life. You can see the envy in the facial expression of the narcissist.
How timely ... After recovering from a malignent , awful experience , .. along came an " angel " ... a " friend " .. there to help me through a rough patch . At least , this time , i knew a thing or two about certain red flags . AND , it was ALL TOO EASY on their part to just walk away if " that's what i wanted " . I guess it WAS EASY when there is " supply " all over town . Lessons Learned ...
This is interesting. I remember a strange feeling of annoyance without being able to put my finger on it after a night out with my then fiance. There were quite a few red flags.
Great podcast as usual Paula Most of the examples you said resignated with me Trust your gut was the one I ignored the most I let my guard down as her parents were so lovely and I thought someone who is a narcassist wouldn't introduce me to her parents so quick ,I was wrong🤣 You asked to comment on a narcassitic mother and daughter scenario My example was her 30 yr old daughter getting her feet tickled by her mother in front of me and treated like a 2 yrs old child by her mother really odd, rubbing her like you do a toddler, cuddling her. This did concern me at the time Her daughter turned out to be narcassitic like her mother, She would have tantrums over a board game ,if she felt someone was cheating or not trying enough! I don't agree in my case that all narcassists are great at sex, most are tbh , but the last one ,would make excuses ,or lay there like a bag of spuds lifeless,with no emotions,robotic ,made me feel used and inadequate, all I wanted was to please her. I realised with this podcast I was there to cook and clean for her,I would drive her everywhere, I was a butler for her🤣 The one thing I did notice as well was she would mirror all my likes I love fishing(most women hate fishing)and within a few weeks she wanted me to book a fishing holiday, for us both, At the devalue stage of the relationship she hated fishing and why was I booking fishing holidays , we had spent holidays away before ,that she'd booked in lincs. She would also write down on paper cockney rhyming slang , I'm from London and she had wrote down words to speak to me with, as she was from Yorkshire This was all mirroring and very odd, She wanted me to move in with in a week, at the end of the relationship she wanted me to rent somewhere close and see how things went. I look back and realise I let alot go,the long distance thing was something she loved, as she could be single as soon as I went back down south I'll not be so blinkered next time! I think most people tend to rush things, as its all exciting, I put up with lots cos I hoped the initial stages would come back, Of course they never did I would even ask her were the nice ....(her name) had gone I think the biggest red flag they are narcassist is they are on dating sites, GREAT PODCASTS PAULA 👍
Paula, you've done it again and really hit the nail on the head regarding some characteristics of Narcissistic abuse which are so difficult to articulate. The ex Covert I got conned by was obsessed with money and very into cryptocurrency, bragging about how much he'd made, how much he could have made if he hadn't had to work that day (garnering sympathy) or b*t*hing about family members including his mother who had apparently frittered away the money he gave them. When he discarded me, admitting he was damaged goods, he said there was no going back for him. After seeing what I saw when his mask slipped just before the discard, I'm convinced some Narcissists basically make a Faustian pact. Thanks a million for all you do ❤️
They are good at acting like your friend, but if you’re questioning why your friend sends you cards about what a great friend you are; frequently, enough to ask yourself “why don’t they ever come to visit you or meet you for lunch or dinner.?” Thirty five years of you being there for them; wedding, divorce, suicide watch, mother’s funeral, hospital, son’s graduation, etc. You drive two hours one way and they never do. Canceling plans at the last second, her excuse was a major Illness, sinuses, POTS etc. But she has time and energy for her boyfriend, whom she has nothing in common with. Oh..he had a Mustang, her favorite car…I thought you weren’t materialistic. Sad when it ends but a relief too.
Thanks for all these helpful 'tips' which are more obvious after a long-term Covert Narc. marriage, & a more recent major heart-break, with an online 'romantic' scam, which was my 'wake-up' call that narcissists are an addictive attract for myself. It's the more potent ones that are the hardest to know what they are, as they're so clever @ what they do!!!
You Said Boundaries -For Me That Has Been. No dating, no "involvement" (difficult) - while working, learning, studying, processing, praying, grieving, and it has taken soooo long BUT has kept me safe and on track. I continue to learn nuances and twists such as how far back the smear campaign went....I am 24 months post discard, and still not informed where my ex and youngest daughter and mother in law went .... "I am too bad a guy to be let known where they stay" (gaslighting wo saying a word)...But, I feel I am fighting a good fight for the long run goal of freedom from this evil for my children ... Thank you a thousand times.....I track you easily now .... two years ago it was "all new". Blessings.....
Thank you all of your videos. They are all very informative and I love your calm energy and ability to articulate such complex topics. Actually, I am the person who always ends up tons of questions. Because I have had a tough experience with a covert narc, I ended up being so scared to date again, that I ended up gathering information and noticing how they answer, how they communicate and how they will react when I politely share my opinion on a matter, as a way to figure out if I am talking to another one again 😖 At the same time I pay attention to my body. If I get anxiety and feel confused, I will open a dialogue while at the same time I try to figure out if it’s just my fear or if there are actual warning signs. It is really exhausting 😕
Thanks Paula. I’m very wary of extending myself as I have major trust issues I didn’t have before. Yes. Beware if people invite you to dinner. You’re right about debt and many hide bad credit and bankruptcies reflecting terrible irresponsibility and unaccountability they want you to pick up. The parent dynamic I find to be with a mother and her NPD daughter. One I suspect was a controlling NPD father and a BPD daughter.
It will soon be two years since I broke up with a covert narcissist, I believe I have learned a lot about this matter and really worked on myself a lot (for the first six months I couldn't do anything else because I finally wanted the truth): introspections, retrospections, all the way back to the mother with whom it all began... Now I really recognize manipulations right away, from the very first contact. I found that if I am authentic in contact, because I am different in thinking and feeling, I quickly irritate them and they reveal themselves by attacking me verbally. But I'm worried because they still appear: repairmen, agents for various services, acquaintances (whom I didn't see well before), neighbors, potential "friends". Are there really that many manipulators or do I only attract them?
I totally agree with your assessment. You are describing my everyday life. I recognize them immediately. 2 years ago I didn’t have the KNOWLEDGE. A Covert 10 year boyfriend almost took me down. My parents I now know were both Narcissists. They are everywhere. I am an outgoing Empath and I now pull back and listen. It’s hard to do this, but you can feel their negativity. The passive aggressive language starts up. Hope this comment helps you. Greetings from Minnesota.
Yes. My ex covert narc girlfriends relationship with her mom is unusually tight to the point of idolization. She even took out a million dollar insurance policy naming her mother as the sole beneficiary at the expense of her children. You are spot on . She also exhibited most of the characteristics on your list.
Discernment is the greatest gift I received from the narcissist. I don’t they’d be interested in me anymore. I see them for what they are, a mile away! 😈
Approximately 15% of the population display narcissistic tendencies. One of the first red flags maybe cognitive dissonance leaving you confused. Another is the uneasiness that Paula mentions. It is a sense of anxiety in the diaphragm area. TAP the brakes!
A thumbs Up just for the adorable intro of your fur baby producer he loves hearing Mamas voice its safty and comforting. I choose to completely ignor the Narc we encountered who took my X for everything she could untill she finished him off. She tried and treatened to take me for my "VALUABLES" too by phone message the nerve of that devil.
Paula ~ This is an excellent video. Thank you! Re: multiple relationships ~ usually it's (almost) always the other person's fault that the relationship didn't work out.
Hello Paula...did you ever make or would you consider making a video about narc clergy. A lot of these people are assigned to families or people in crises situations and they exploit them for their own gain when they are at their most vulnerable point . Once they gain the trust of their victims they cheat them out of time, money, sex, talents etc. If anyone even whispers a protest , they, of course, are disturbed, liars, unbalanced, ungodly and the like. I'm sure this goes on in other situations as well where people are supposed to be helping and caring but are really there to exploit Just found you recently. Thank you. You really get to the heart of it.
Thankyou you’re helping me so much during this time, I’ve fell in love with a narcissist, that’s becoming more and more clear, the speed of it all and how much he was wanting to see me everyday its been overwhelming, the lovebombing with acts of service, the future faking, the triangulation mentioning his ex all the time, told me he loved me, then went overseas with his ex and lied to me saying he was going by himself and then told me when he got back he was with her but they’re just friends and they’ve finally ended it all, I think he enjoyed breaking my heart by telling me the truth when he got back, its like it made him feel powerful to know how much I cared by how hurt I was. this has been the craziest dysregulating experience. And he’s the one that pursued me with such intensity. I just wish I didn’t feel anything for him anymore, after I said I didn’t want to do this anymore, then he hoovered me, it’s as though he could literally feel my disconnect emotionally and hoovered just at that time, I thought I was strong enough to communicate but no I’ve fell back into with him, it’s been so hard to stay sober in my thinking about him. Your videos are a god sent right now, so sobering, thankyou 🙏
You have great content very informative I watch but comment less I'm done dating I will never ever get into another relationship ever again I'm content being single
Thank you so much for all of your content. This confirms to us who question where we stand with these people and reassure us our feelings are valid but necessary to leave ASAP
28:16 Emotional incest is the name I’ve heard it’s called (when the narc has a twisted relationship with a parent). My ex husband and his mother. My mother and my sister. Now my sister and my nephew. My nephew is 17 right now and I truly hope that he will get a job and leave his mother as soon as possible.
I don't agree with that gut feeling, it's experience and keeping a clear head for me, I was lucky my first time to have a friend who quickly told me what she was up too, it still hurt but I learnt. My last one was very warm and friendly when we first met, but she soon turned, perhaps too soon, which was a good clue (lazy and impatience?). I also noticed that she barely asked any questions about me, even switched off when I told her things I thought most people find interesting, it's like she just couldn't accept that I might know more than her, even be more intelligent.
I am out almost five years such a gift. They are Narc con evil and mine was a dark witch. That gives me chills just saying it. I found her broom in the garage. It was a LTR so nothing made sense. Listen to George jones “ he stopped loving her/him today” will make you feel better. Zombies in the flesh there is no there there! Blessings to all ❤
So from babyhood ,i was trained to tolerate,abuse,sexual and emotional,so going forward,Im ruined for a healthy relationship.Knowing this ,I just say no.Sad ,but necessary.
Director Remy... 🐕 So cute. Yes, Paula... If you stand your ground too much they want to run to the next victim. I would take only so much for so long before I would get fed up and start giving it back to them. Then it was ghosting...... 👻
I got a thought lol,, maybe when we has an interest to get to know someone, we could ask them "do you know what a narcissist is"? Lol 😂 Plus knowing if there considerate and respectful would probably help
The relation of my ex narc fiancée with her mother was unseen in all my previous life ! Even me as a boy with my mother who raised us alone, I separated at a certain age and set up boundaries. But my ex fiancée she was transparent a point it was ridicule : her mother was a gourou to her ! Totally insane !! And my ex fiancée religious covert narc does not have a good relation with her father. For her, he's responsible of the cancer her mother died with...
I went no to low contact with my narc brother and when he died I had the doctor to guilttrip me for not visiting him in the hospital and bring him clothes… Nobody attended his funeral. Not his ex wife and three daughters, me neither. Wait till he dies or just let him go. No contact is not hard at all. Just do it. Don’t be loyal. He is not loyal to you. He expects you be loyal. Don’t!!
Also, they text so much to start with until you start feeling really excited and then ask about your feelings then are vauge about theirs and then start the texting games....taking forever to reply or contact. Get away from anyone who starts doing this.
Hello Paula hope u and everyone is well and ok, after my last relationship 3 years ago was with a lady who turned out to be a covert narcissistic sociopath and after her toxic behaviour towards me i will never get involved in another relationship ever again she put me off and opened my eyes to the reality of this world which is not all rainbows and ponies, also she was very close to her oldest daughter as if she was in a relationship with her as well, it's very twisted and warped so i told her what she is then walked away and blocked all contact with her... I would rather have a blow up doll lol 😂😂😂😂
Myyy Gooodness !! How in the world can a person tell if that person is a narcissist or a Genuine person? Because so many of these things, in both categories can have these traits.
They treat you like crap especially if you allow them to. If you stick around all that they will continue to do is try to make you feel like them... which is like literal crap.
I like your stuff Narc Con, but just one question: Do narcs only go for high status archetypes. Or woul a narc go for a roadsweeper for instance. I mean there aren't too many princes or brain surgeons who are No. 1 out there?
my ex bf had parents that wouldn't even acknowledge me when i walked into their house or wouldn't feed me dinner if i stayed in the afternoon and they never asked about me or my family or arrange to meet my family ... is that a bad sign or is that normal or narc behaviour ?? im still confused about it till this day
What happened to these people, seriously, My whole family,my mother was yhe queen of them all, Did they just give their souls over to the Devil of Evil and at what time fid it happen?
It annoys me when people state that narcs can change they just have to want to enough, like you need to make it worth their time. No thank U I'm a human being not a performing seal. 🦭
I physically react to a narc now, my body is telling me something is wrong. I become anxious, feeling like I’ve been plugged into an electric socket. My body telling me to “get away”.
Met his entire family first weekend, listened to him complain about every woman that had ever been in his life. First date he talked about his mother all night, red flags red flags, I know them now but I am 3 years out and just starting to heal.........worst experience of my life. Closest I have ever come to pure evil.
They are The Lower The Lower
Those Parasites are infected The World .
Thank you Paula . RUclips Channels are educated US people not familiar with NARCS Individuals . Sick black hole 🤔👽🤖🤡
Potential Signs During the Love-Bomb Stage of a Relationship with a Covert Narcissist
1. Warning sign: overly excited and overly stressed
2. Info gathering in order to determine if they should pursue you
3. Will 'big up' their accomplishments
4. Will pretend no knowledge of your huge achievements, and that it's you they love
5. They are persistent
6. Will quickly introduce you to their family who will also love bomb you
7. The weekends away with you
8. Will not acknowledge you via social media as their partner
9. Will want to move in quickly
10. Will quickly want you to meet their children
11. Will launch into victim role and test to see how much you are prepared to do for them
12. Multiple marriages, relationships
13. Debt
14. Intense relationship with one parent
15. Amazing sex (initially)
16. Indispensable; will ghost you
Thanks for this list. He checked all the poits. I ran!
Agree with all except 6 and 7. I was never introduced to a single family member. The promised weekends away were 'future faking' and never materialised. Although, the other ex, who he has returned to (if he ever really left) got both.
@@annewoodcock-rr8zv It sounds like you're describing an overt narcissist, whose behavior is easily recognizable to those familiar with the signs. However, in this context, we're focusing on the covert narcissist, whose behavior during the love-bombing phase is more subtle and sophisticated, making it less obvious to detect.
So most people are narcissist and the ball keeps moving lol maybe you're a narcissist and you never knew it
@@Roberto-okthen2 I believe many of us fall somewhere on the spectrum.
The “Aim of the Game”! He nursed me through 3 surgeries (heart and two Orthopedic). He was a retired fireman 👨🚒. I had so much love and respect for him. It was a NARC CON job. I paid off a loan and listened to his future faking. He was so smooth. 10 years later and immense betrayal, I know him to be a Covert Narcissist with high psychopathy traits. Education on Narcissists is the key. Thank you Paula.
I had this. He came to me at the LOWEST point of my life. The only one that was there to help me in such a dark time. Came to the hospital..checked in on me morning, day, and night. Everyone else had given up on me. Little did I know his motives were NOT what I thought!
@@meredithyoung9200That’s the devil 😈 playing with God’s children. My Priest told me I need to learn “Discernment.” Well, I’ve learned to trust no one.
@@meredithyoung9200washout for the nice one . too
good to be true 🤔
I was married to a narcissist for 35 years every thing you say is true. He would put me on a pedestal and then knock me off, over and over. I was on the verge of insanity when I left. And he found another victim within two months. I'm blessed to have found a good therapist.
They are so addicting at the beginning. It feels like it's too good to be true. There were so many red flags that I ignored. Not anymore. Thanks, Paula and Remy. 🐕 ❤️
agree with U . me too . I see so many Red flag 😳 in the beginning not can put together . Take me 5 months to open my eyes and know what a NARCS Individuals mean 😩 learning experience . We have to value ourselves , we worth it and we don't deserve less 💯 we are Real we can move on Thank God 🙏
The NARCS living in they black hole , That mini Cult they have their feasting from each other in their own misery they Create Hell in earth . Degenerate Creatures . Not a Human .👽🤖👾👻👹🤡
Passive aggressive compliments are definitely a sign. They point out your flaws to bring you down and make you insecure. For example saying 'I love that for you' to express dislike for something but still compliment it.
Met a guy today that is likely a narcissist. Was so self-absorbed that he only talked about himself and did not acknowledge or comment on one thing I said, despite him initiating the conversation. I realized after the 30 minute or so conversation how frustrating the interaction had been and that if it were to have progressed further, would likely have become a "relationship of inevitable harm."
Go grey rock with everyone you meet... refuse to engage , stop Looking upon them as a magical person who is the love of your life. Know who you are and what you want to offer a potential partner. Go forward with that knowledge, and look for the same person,. With the same mindset
Thank you 😊 🙏 💓
Thank U I needed that ❤🙏
From intense love bombing and intense ‘needing you’ to dropping you like a hot potato. Welcome to the covert, malignant narc! Saw enough to never go there again, words and behaviour never matched up. Feeling the benefits of being out (two whole) years. Takes about this long to get back to normal, I think. An exhausting ride. Your words are always on point, Paula. ❤️🙏
I'm in year 3 and just started therapy. Didn't need this at 70, at this age these monsters have been at the game a long time. He just married someone else she couldn't wait to get him down the aisle. I hope I don't have to witness her demise, the fall is coming she just doesn' t know it yet. I have nothing but pity for her.
The next ones don’t know what they are getting into. I too feel sorry for them. They are just the next victims for the narcissist’s shoddy web. It’s a cruel game.
Paula, I appreciate this video so much! I got out of a relationship with what I now know was a covert narcissist. It went on for 9 months before I finally broke it off, but that experience nearly did me in. My physical and mental health has spiraled down significantly because of what I went through. I didn't understand what was happening to me at the time, I just knew I felt so CONFUSED and so anxious! I gave way too much of myself away emotionally to someone who didn't deserve it. And he acted like it was my obligation!
I'm out of that relationship almost 3 years now, and still feeling the repurcussions. Digging my way out of the abyss. I have examined that relationship with a fine-toothed comb, and I now understand how he was able to lure me in and trap me. I know what to watch out for now!
Your 13 signs are very important to remember. The one that struck me the most was when they ask you probing questions about your family, and your past, and difficulties you've had in your life. He did this with me, and I stupidly thought he was just interested in me. Ha! Now I know he was fishing for information to use against me, and trap me.
I know better now, and I'm very guarded about giving information about myself to those I don't know well.
Great insights! Thank you!
Narcissists are like a bad set of teeth, they don't align
My had some bad teeth or gums, he had frequent dental appointments and maintenance but NEVER explained why. The also had skin ... it was like a suit... it was creepy and my thought at the end loud and clear, "demonic entity " a demon in a skinsuit. It was a demon.
Brilliant 👏
Bravo! Love this! 👋🙏
You are so spot on when it comes to money, Paula. This particular ex has more than enough money for a life of luxury, even uses this fact as a trap for futurefaking but nevertheless will not spend anything into the relationship but wanted to Trick me spending my money always. But it didn't work and he was upset😂
Im in NO RUSH to jump back in the jacuzzi :( My life has been "Narcs "R" us"
Listen to this Woman ! Please!
Let me tell you brothers and sisters these people out here explaining this problem to you is a miracle. Don’t fight them. God sent these people help you.
When I left Tony my abuser I had none of this information. I was lucky the Lord hid me in the palm of his hand. Holy moly “I am alive” and I got enjoy with hard work my Grand children DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THEIR LOWNESS for they will pull you down stomp on you and leave you for dead. You are not real to them you are a snapshot. Run when you can.
Oh and no one is going to believe you. YOU believe you. I will pray for you. You can do it. K.
🥰🌹
this lecture is priceless , how do u get the police to study the characteristic of a criminal , that's who they are 1st they rob you , financially then they enslave you , after they beat u up , without the shadow of the doubt they terrorise , the worse part no one believes you , try as u may ro run away , u are trapped , financially , the worst part u will be on ur own without your family & friends every thing in your wonderful life ; puff , gone forever , life sucks , ennui sets in .the end .
@@maymorton7390 never underestimate their power they are absolutely crafty. They have no other choice but to rob you.
Thank you Paula for your insight into these despicable demons that leach off of empath folk. I can agree and identify with what you are saying.
When a narcissist seeks an empath and they see that they have quite a strong and determined character the narcissist does not persevere for too long because they realise it is going to be an uphill battle for them and the nut(empath) is not as easy to crack like previous ones! I laughed when you said that when Remy hears “action” his thoughts are probably “ oh boy here we go again bla bla bla these idiot people! Time to look at my eye lids” he has become wise with all your teaching us 😂 Bless you Paula and master Remy for all you give in helping us to understand why life is so horrendous 🙏🐕😊
"The creature you are dealing with..."...I love you so much Paula!
Great points with the intense relationship with one parent and the "best sex" ever at first.
I would also like to add that they book your life for the next year with them. They seem to always have an event in the future for you two to be committed to. This makes it hell for the break up. They are also VERY intense. The smothering will start right away.
The key is that their motives are manipulation and control. If you can catch that motive early..you are good to go! They don't EMPOWER you and encourage YOU to be independent and the best YOU you can be. They want to be the reason you are happy.
Good afternoon Paula and sweet Remy in peaceful slumber 😊❤️❤️
I made a promise to myself I won’t get involved with another narcissist ever again I will pray and ask God to send me someone 😊🙏🏾
OMG Paula...how many times I had to agree aloud listening to this video? Cant count...my ex introduced me to his mom within a month of meeting him and she love bombed me throughout my time in their lives....their relationship would feel odd at times...especially where I would feel the energy from her as if she was a jealous lover...it was so strange....she gaslit me when he wasnt around to do it and sometimes I would have to defend myself against the both of them simultaneously.... It was like she had a stance in the relationship somehow....its hard to describe but as usual you hit the nail on the head....
My ex Covert Narcissist’s mother told me”He’s too busy to cheat on you”. I know NOW she was gaslighting me. 10 years and I am positive he was cheating on me the entire time. STD’s were my receipts. They have no empathy.
This one perfectly complements the narc repellant video you made on 'Who Do Narcissists FEAR The Most' - It inspires me to sing my narrative, and live according to who I am....They try to hijack the narrative and our soul energy, but your words are ammunition for its self-defense, and to keep things calm. That's why Remy is the way he is....
Yes I believe my ex Narcissist and his mother had an abnormally strange relationship. It’s who he financially betrayed our marriage for her and her estate.
Yup. They are probably inmeshed in a incestual way. Not necessarily physically. My narc mother was this way. Im an empath btw. She was super jealous of women around me or eyeing me up. She one time when i was a teen told me to hold her hand in the supermarket and act like her boyfriend. F-in gross. Purposely walked in on me when with my girlfriend if you know what i mean. Shes also was a stalker. Was involved in gangstalking me. She died not long after the stalking. God doesn't like his children being abused and will only give so many chances to repent
Very helpful summary, thank you. I would like to add the bad mood they are often in and of course the contempt towards other people especially when those people are living a happy and joyful life. You can see the envy in the facial expression of the narcissist.
How timely ... After recovering from a malignent , awful experience , .. along came an
" angel " ... a " friend " .. there to help me through a rough patch . At least , this time , i knew a thing or two about certain red flags .
AND , it was ALL TOO EASY on their part to just walk away if
" that's what i wanted " .
I guess it WAS EASY when there is
" supply " all over town .
Lessons Learned ...
You hit the jackpot again,Paula! I have learned so much from your talks
This is interesting. I remember a strange feeling of annoyance without being able to put my finger on it after a night out with my then fiance. There were quite a few red flags.
Great podcast as usual Paula
Most of the examples you said resignated with me
Trust your gut was the one I ignored the most
I let my guard down as her parents were so lovely and I thought someone who is a narcassist wouldn't introduce me to her parents so quick ,I was wrong🤣
You asked to comment on a narcassitic mother and daughter scenario
My example was her 30 yr old daughter getting her feet tickled by her mother in front of me and treated like a 2 yrs old child by her mother really odd, rubbing her like you do a toddler, cuddling her.
This did concern me at the time
Her daughter turned out to be narcassitic like her mother,
She would have tantrums over a board game ,if she felt someone was cheating or not trying enough!
I don't agree in my case that all narcassists are great at sex, most are tbh , but the last one ,would make excuses ,or lay there like a bag of spuds lifeless,with no emotions,robotic ,made me feel used and inadequate, all I wanted was to please her.
I realised with this podcast I was there to cook and clean for her,I would drive her everywhere,
I was a butler for her🤣
The one thing I did notice as well was she would mirror all my likes
I love fishing(most women hate fishing)and within a few weeks she wanted me to book a fishing holiday, for us both,
At the devalue stage of the relationship she hated fishing and why was I booking fishing holidays , we had spent holidays away before ,that she'd booked in lincs.
She would also write down on paper cockney rhyming slang ,
I'm from London and she had wrote down words to speak to me with, as she was from Yorkshire
This was all mirroring and very odd,
She wanted me to move in with in a week, at the end of the relationship she wanted me to rent somewhere close and see how things went.
I look back and realise I let alot go,the long distance thing was something she loved, as she could be single as soon as I went back down south
I'll not be so blinkered next time!
I think most people tend to rush things, as its all exciting,
I put up with lots cos I hoped the initial stages would come back,
Of course they never did
I would even ask her were the nice ....(her name) had gone
I think the biggest red flag they are narcassist is they are on dating sites,
GREAT PODCASTS PAULA 👍
Paula, you've done it again and really hit the nail on the head regarding some characteristics of Narcissistic abuse which are so difficult to articulate. The ex Covert I got conned by was obsessed with money and very into cryptocurrency, bragging about how much he'd made, how much he could have made if he hadn't had to work that day (garnering sympathy) or b*t*hing about family members including his mother who had apparently frittered away the money he gave them. When he discarded me, admitting he was damaged goods, he said there was no going back for him. After seeing what I saw when his mask slipped just before the discard, I'm convinced some Narcissists basically make a Faustian pact. Thanks a million for all you do ❤️
My ex told me he sold his soul to the devil a long time ago. Oh how I wish I had believed him then😢
@@chandranicole95 - wow, what a thing to say. Sometimes they are brutally honest.
@@JH-td4mn Yes they are
They are good at acting like your friend, but if you’re questioning why your friend sends you cards about what a great friend you are; frequently, enough to ask yourself “why don’t they ever come to visit you or meet you for lunch or dinner.?” Thirty five years of you being there for them; wedding, divorce, suicide watch, mother’s funeral, hospital, son’s graduation, etc. You drive two hours one way and they never do. Canceling plans at the last second, her excuse was a major Illness, sinuses, POTS etc.
But she has time and energy for her boyfriend, whom she has nothing in common with. Oh..he had a Mustang, her favorite car…I thought you weren’t materialistic. Sad when it ends but a relief too.
Thanks for all these helpful 'tips' which are more obvious after a long-term Covert Narc. marriage, & a more recent major heart-break, with an online 'romantic' scam, which was my 'wake-up' call that narcissists are an addictive attract for myself. It's the more potent ones that are the hardest to know what they are, as they're so clever @ what they do!!!
You Said Boundaries -For Me That Has Been. No dating, no "involvement" (difficult) - while working, learning, studying, processing, praying, grieving, and it has taken soooo long BUT has kept me safe and on track. I continue to learn nuances and twists such as how far back the smear campaign went....I am 24 months post discard, and still not informed where my ex and youngest daughter and mother in law went .... "I am too bad a guy to be let known where they stay" (gaslighting wo saying a word)...But, I feel I am fighting a good fight for the long run goal of freedom from this evil for my children ... Thank you a thousand times.....I track you easily now .... two years ago it was "all new". Blessings.....
Thank you all of your videos. They are all very informative and I love your calm energy and ability to articulate such complex topics.
Actually, I am the person who always ends up tons of questions. Because I have had a tough experience with a covert narc, I ended up being so scared to date again, that I ended up gathering information and noticing how they answer, how they communicate and how they will react when I politely share my opinion on a matter, as a way to figure out if I am talking to another one again 😖
At the same time I pay attention to my body. If I get anxiety and feel confused, I will open a dialogue while at the same time I try to figure out if it’s just my fear or if there are actual warning signs. It is really exhausting 😕
PAULA AND REMY! 💜
Thanks Paula. I’m very wary of extending myself as I have major trust issues I didn’t have before. Yes. Beware if people invite you to dinner. You’re right about debt and many hide bad credit and bankruptcies reflecting terrible irresponsibility and unaccountability they want you to pick up. The parent dynamic I find to be with a mother and her NPD daughter. One I suspect was a controlling NPD father and a BPD daughter.
Gotta love it. Watching videos on narcs during election time. Narcs ads galore on YT asking for $$.
It will soon be two years since I broke up with a covert narcissist, I believe I have learned a lot about this matter and really worked on myself a lot (for the first six months I couldn't do anything else because I finally wanted the truth): introspections, retrospections, all the way back to the mother with whom it all began... Now I really recognize manipulations right away, from the very first contact. I found that if I am authentic in contact, because I am different in thinking and feeling, I quickly irritate them and they reveal themselves by attacking me verbally. But I'm worried because they still appear: repairmen, agents for various services, acquaintances (whom I didn't see well before), neighbors, potential "friends". Are there really that many manipulators or do I only attract them?
I totally agree with your assessment. You are describing my everyday life. I recognize them immediately. 2 years ago I didn’t have the KNOWLEDGE. A Covert 10 year boyfriend almost took me down. My parents I now know were both Narcissists. They are everywhere. I am an outgoing Empath and I now pull back and listen. It’s hard to do this, but you can feel their negativity. The passive aggressive language starts up. Hope this comment helps you. Greetings from Minnesota.
They're literally everywhere..😒
They're everywhere in my opinion.
Your so correct paula ❤
Yes. My ex covert narc girlfriends relationship with her mom is unusually tight to the point of idolization. She even took out a million dollar insurance policy naming her mother as the sole beneficiary at the expense of her children. You are spot on . She also exhibited most of the characteristics on your list.
Discernment is the greatest gift I received from the narcissist. I don’t they’d be interested in me anymore. I see them for what they are, a mile away! 😈
Approximately 15% of the population display narcissistic tendencies. One of the first red flags maybe cognitive dissonance leaving you confused. Another is the uneasiness that Paula mentions. It is a sense of anxiety in the diaphragm area. TAP the brakes!
For sure, tap the breaks. If need be then do an emergency stop!
More like 30%
Great job as usual Paula...thank you!!!
You are SOOO spot on... Thank you!!
Welcome!
thank you so much for helping me understand. ♥️
You're so welcome!
A thumbs Up just for the adorable intro of your fur baby producer he loves hearing Mamas voice its safty and comforting.
I choose to completely ignor the Narc we encountered who took my X for everything she could untill she finished him off. She tried and treatened to take me for my "VALUABLES" too by phone message the nerve of that devil.
Paula ~ This is an excellent video. Thank you! Re: multiple relationships ~ usually it's (almost) always the other person's fault that the relationship didn't work out.
Thank you!!
You're welcome!
Hello Paula...did you ever make or would you consider making a video about narc clergy. A lot of these people are assigned to families or people in crises situations and they exploit them for their own gain when they are at their most vulnerable point . Once they gain the trust of their victims they cheat them out of time, money, sex, talents etc. If anyone even whispers a protest , they, of course, are disturbed, liars, unbalanced, ungodly and the like. I'm sure this goes on in other situations as well where people are supposed to be helping and caring but are really there to exploit
Just found you recently. Thank you. You really get to the heart of it.
The holy narcissist in playlist may cover 🌹
You must be a mind reader Paula😂 I am now thinking, how will I know in the future??? Your assistant looks so comfy ❤
I know!!
🙌🙌🙌 wise counsel
Thank you! Very helpful!
Glad it was helpful!
Thankyou you’re helping me so much during this time, I’ve fell in love with a narcissist, that’s becoming more and more clear, the speed of it all and how much he was wanting to see me everyday its been overwhelming, the lovebombing with acts of service, the future faking, the triangulation mentioning his ex all the time, told me he loved me, then went overseas with his ex and lied to me saying he was going by himself and then told me when he got back he was with her but they’re just friends and they’ve finally ended it all, I think he enjoyed breaking my heart by telling me the truth when he got back, its like it made him feel powerful to know how much I cared by how hurt I was. this has been the craziest dysregulating experience. And he’s the one that pursued me with such intensity. I just wish I didn’t feel anything for him anymore, after I said I didn’t want to do this anymore, then he hoovered me, it’s as though he could literally feel my disconnect emotionally and hoovered just at that time, I thought I was strong enough to communicate but no I’ve fell back into with him, it’s been so hard to stay sober in my thinking about him. Your videos are a god sent right now, so sobering, thankyou 🙏
You have great content very informative I watch but comment less I'm done dating I will never ever get into another relationship ever again I'm content being single
🙏🌹
Thank you so much for all of your content. This confirms to us who question where we stand with these people and reassure us our feelings are valid but necessary to leave ASAP
Thank you so much. Just going through this, and feeling unsettled even though i care for this person. They have already started small put downs
Keep your guard up!!!!
"small put downs" ...... imagine what the future holds! Run now!
Yes, I have endured EIGHT YEARS, and NOTHING CHANGED. GO NOW before you waste your precious time!
@@melissataylor7063 i am done with this narc now. Moving on. Thank God you got out.
28:16 Emotional incest is the name I’ve heard it’s called (when the narc has a twisted relationship with a parent). My ex husband and his mother. My mother and my sister. Now my sister and my nephew. My nephew is 17 right now and I truly hope that he will get a job and leave his mother as soon as possible.
I don't agree with that gut feeling, it's experience and keeping a clear head for me, I was lucky my first time to have a friend who quickly told me what she was up too, it still hurt but I learnt. My last one was very warm and friendly when we first met, but she soon turned, perhaps too soon, which was a good clue (lazy and impatience?). I also noticed that she barely asked any questions about me, even switched off when I told her things I thought most people find interesting, it's like she just couldn't accept that I might know more than her, even be more intelligent.
Hi. Just responded to your video from 3 years ago about the narcissist being possessed. Please read if you get a chance. Thanks so much.
I will check it out
I am out almost five years such a gift. They are Narc con evil and mine was a dark witch. That gives me chills just saying it. I found her broom in the garage. It was a LTR so nothing made sense. Listen to George jones “ he stopped loving her/him today” will make you feel better. Zombies in the flesh there is no there there! Blessings to all ❤
So from babyhood ,i was trained to tolerate,abuse,sexual and emotional,so going forward,Im ruined for a healthy relationship.Knowing this ,I just say no.Sad ,but necessary.
Director Remy... 🐕 So cute. Yes, Paula... If you stand your ground too much they want to run to the next victim. I would take only so much for so long before I would get fed up and start giving it back to them. Then it was ghosting...... 👻
creatures 😹 💯 loving ❤ the yellow sweater Paula 💛
🙋♀️🙏
I got a thought lol,, maybe when we has an interest to get to know someone, we could ask them "do you know what a narcissist is"? Lol 😂
Plus knowing if there considerate and respectful would probably help
The relation of my ex narc fiancée with her mother was unseen in all my previous life ! Even me as a boy with my mother who raised us alone, I separated at a certain age and set up boundaries. But my ex fiancée she was transparent a point it was ridicule : her mother was a gourou to her ! Totally insane !! And my ex fiancée religious covert narc does not have a good relation with her father. For her, he's responsible of the cancer her mother died with...
So dam truth but it didn't work with me,,thanks to my knowledge of NPD.& I'M VERY SPIRITUAL.
,,Sydney ❤❤❤
U 300% right.
Thank you.
Can you discuss narcissistic siblings? It is difficult to go completely no contact.
I went completely no contact
its essential ,they are demon possessed 4 yr olds!
I also went totally contact with my brother
I went no to low contact with my narc brother and when he died I had the doctor to guilttrip me for not visiting him in the hospital and bring him clothes… Nobody attended his funeral. Not his ex wife and three daughters, me neither. Wait till he dies or just let him go. No contact is not hard at all. Just do it. Don’t be loyal. He is not loyal to you. He expects you be loyal. Don’t!!
@@martyvirtue4051 I totally feel you. It’s hard at first, it goes against “rules”. But it’s oke to safe yourself. Thank you for your comment 🙏
You will feel like you are dating Dracula.... Intense but weird... 😈👺👿☠️💔
Hi ❤blessings
Also, they text so much to start with until you start feeling really excited and then ask about your feelings then are vauge about theirs and then start the texting games....taking forever to reply or contact. Get away from anyone who starts doing this.
Hello Paula hope u and everyone is well and ok, after my last relationship 3 years ago was with a lady who turned out to be a covert narcissistic sociopath and after her toxic behaviour towards me i will never get involved in another relationship ever again she put me off and opened my eyes to the reality of this world which is not all rainbows and ponies, also she was very close to her oldest daughter as if she was in a relationship with her as well, it's very twisted and warped so i told her what she is then walked away and blocked all contact with her... I would rather have a blow up doll lol 😂😂😂😂
Myyy Gooodness !! How in the world can a person tell if that person is a narcissist or a Genuine person? Because so many of these things, in both categories can have these traits.
They treat you like crap especially if you allow them to. If you stick around all that they will continue to do is try to make you feel like them... which is like literal crap.
I like your stuff Narc Con, but just one question: Do narcs only go for high status archetypes. Or woul a narc go for a roadsweeper for instance. I mean there aren't too many princes or brain surgeons who are No. 1 out there?
They’ll go for anyone if needs must at any given time
my ex bf had parents that wouldn't even acknowledge me when i walked into their house or wouldn't feed me dinner if i stayed in the afternoon and they never asked about me or my family or arrange to meet my family ... is that a bad sign or is that normal or narc behaviour ?? im still confused about it till this day
Coverts use “pseudo-humility” to cover their grandiosity. That’s why good people think this is a humble person, when they’re far from it.
Gosh… I may be a narcissist
Buddy, please! Alberta, Canada. * Not sure if this is how or where I’m supposed to put this.
Uncanny valley
So many genuine people have all of these mentioned, so how does a person identify which is which ??
What happened to these people, seriously, My whole family,my mother was yhe queen of them all, Did they just give their souls over to the Devil of Evil and at what time fid it happen?
How to know if a person is dismissive avoidant or narcissist?..or is it the same thing?..
Not the same..check out the DSM for 9 main characteristics of npd 🌹
May be, not maybe
Can you have two narcissists together ?
Yes
You're the new victim to the family LOL😅
It annoys me when people state that narcs can change they just have to want to enough, like you need to make it worth their time. No thank U I'm a human being not a performing seal. 🦭