Why “No Problem” Can Seem Rude: Phatic Expressions
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- Опубликовано: 4 авг 2019
- "Hello!" "Thank you!" "You're welcome!" These are all phatic expressions, and people can argue about them. Pull down the description for the references! MORE LANGUAGE FILES: • Tom's Language Files
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REFERENCES:
Brown, P. and Levinson, S. 1987. Politeness: Some Universals in Language Usage. Cambridge. Cambridge University Press.
Goffman, Erving (1967): On Face-Work. An Analysis of Ritual Elements in Social Interaction. In: Ders.: Interaction Ritual. New York: Doubleday. 5-45.
Dinkin, A. (2018). It's no problem to be polite: Apparent-time change in responses to thanks. Journal of Sociolinguistics, 22(2), 190-215.
Bucholtz, M. & Hall, K. (2005) Identity and interaction: A sociocultural linguistic approach. Discourse Studies. vol. 7 (4-2): 585-614.
Yngve, Victor. "On getting a word in edgewise," page 568. Papers from the Sixth Regional Meeting [of the] Chicago Linguistic Society, 1970.
Sacks, H., Schegloff, E. A., & Jefferson, G. (1974). "A simplest systematics for the organization of turn-taking for conversation." Language, 50, 696-735.
Tannen, D. (2012). Turn-Taking and Intercultural Discourse and Communication. In Bratt Paulston, C., Kiesling, S. F., & Rangel E. S., Japan/Anglo-American Cross-Cultural Communication (pp 135-157). Blackwell Handbooks in Linguistics: The Handbook of Intercultural Discourse and Communication.
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I've hedged my bets as best I can with the US/UK comparisons here: but your experiences may well be different! That's, uh, kind of the point.
5 days ago? Nice. Video is just out
Sir how's the comment 5 days ago by the way fantastic video and keep making new videos always inspired me
5 days ago 😂
@@neongooroo video's are usually uploaded before the release date. then made public
@@YetAnotherAaron I know, it just looked funny when I opened the video and the only comment here was 5 days ago.
"No problem."
"That's kinda rude tbh"
"One problem."
Texan: "No problem."
Brit: "That's kinda rude tbh"
Texan: "I'm sorry Lil' Miss Namby Pamby Pants"
"No problem"
"That's kinda rude tbh"
"I'm sorry, the person you are attempting to reach has already left the chat."
@Curf think it's literally because you didn't say you're welcome, which they'd see as the appropriate answer to a thank you
@Curf often ppl of a certain age (Baby Boomers and older) expect traditional, respectful responses... more formal responses. You're Welcome, or My Pleasure for example.
Overly casual responses like No Worries, No Problem, or Any time! aren't considered traditional, so they may feel like it's a sign of disrespect.
I don't want to make someone feel uncomfortable especially if they're saying Thank You, so I try to base my response on age.
But "My Pleasure" or "I'm happy I could help" seems to work well for every age.
@@bodyofhope my understanding is that boomers think of “you’re welcome” as proper response because “I put in this effort so you _should_ be grateful”; younger folks think “no problem” fits better as a “no big deal, I’m happy to help” kind of meaning, but older folks see that as a signal that not much thought or effort was put into undertaking the favor
I definitely agree that “my pleasure/happy to help” serves as a nice catch-all for all ages
Solution: reply with “aaaaaye” and fingerguns so you’re hated in both conutries simultaneously.
So THAT'S my problem!
I can't stop the finger guns at this point. It's gone too far.
And add a tsk tsk at the end
Loved**
are you kidding, any time someone does that theyre cooler than I could ever hope to be or anyone I could ever hope to be friends with
To a middle-aged Glaswegian, you've just responded with a thoughtful "yeeessss" and acknowledged their point in a rude but direct way by pointing at them.
I mean, Gandalf definitely knew what "good morning" meant, he was just having a bit of fun. Not only that, he was also testing out Bilbo's personality by his responses, to see if he was the adventurous Tookish hobbit Gandalf needed.
There's also the fact that Tolkien, as a linguist and conlanger, wanted to just make this sage say strange things
It happened another time, with I don't remember who asking "You're a burglar, go burgle"
burgle
I thought Tom was going to explain how Gandalf was not actually serious and did know what good morning meant, but alas, he did not.
I remember reuniting with a friend and telling them "You alright.?" as a greeting after not seeing eachother for like months and they just stopped on their tracks, tilted their head, raised an eyebrow and said "Nothing bad happened... what do you mean?" with the most confused look I've ever seen. And I've never felt so lost in my entire life. Like my consciousness left my body while trying to figure what the hell that meant.
As someone (A Canadian) who doesn’t hear the word used much as a greeting, I would probably interpret it as “You look sad, what is wrong?”. In which case my insecurity of my resting face would go through the roof and Id immediately try to express that I’m actually alright.
@@tysfalsehood i’m scottish but since i’m on social media a lot i’m used to more american implications (in terms of wording) i guess- sorry i’m not great at explaining things- so now i’ve ended up with a weird mush of the two, so when i’m watching tom’s videos about topics similar to these i never really know if i’m gonna get or not get the american/british implication/phrase
i took so long to type that i’ve forgotten why i even thought to respond with this DID I EVEN MAKE SENSE?
how britbongs and brazilians are alike
"You alright?" is something I'd ask someone crawling out of a crashed car. In my understanding (I'm german) it much more implies that I think the other person is NOT alright then any kind of "How are you?" ever would. So I'd beconfused being asked that question aswell, unless I just tripped and faceplanted in front of the person asking the question.
Never happened to me because:
- I understand the ambiguity of that phrase
- I'm French
- I don't have friends
Two Brits meet eachother
1:"You aite?"
2"Hi, you aite mate? "
Both walk away without answering the question
Living in London rn and I'm still trying to wrap my head around this 😖
Does that really happen?
Meeta Verma yep and it extends all across England instead of just London
Nah it's usually.
1:"You aite?"
2"yeah, you aite mate? "
America seems to be halfway between the cultures that prefer to have their phatic expressions make sense and the ones that prefer to save time and acknowledge that the real message is the emotion and not the words.
I've also noticed that whenever I accidentally enter a wrong building or room, "Can I help you?" usually means "What are you doing here please leave immediately."
XD so true
Just say "Oh, yes. Thank you" and hand them any heavy objects you're carrying.
You can usually tell based on intonation in that case.
An example of pragmatics where what is said explicitly has an implied meaning and purpose. This is usually used to be polite and save face.
Whenever anyone asks me "can I help you?". I reply " I'm beyond help" and walk away slowly with a sinister glare in my eye. It really unsettles people for some reason.
When I was teaching in Japan, I had a few British friends. One of them kept greeting me with “You alright?”, and at the time I had no idea it was a phatic expression. I just kept replying with an honest evaluation of my mood. Looking back, I’m a bit embarrassed but mostly amused.
This is what I did when people started saying “how are you?” to me. As a little kid no one ever asked me that, people why just great with a “hello” or a “hi”. So I thought when people asked you “how are you?” they were genuinely asking how you are. Obviously you’re not going to tell a cashier your life story and will probably give a basic response but when a friend said it, I thought it was meant to be a segue into conversation. They ask “how are you?” then you talk about how your life has been for the last few days or weeks or however long and it starts a conversation. So when people started asking me “how are you?” when I was about 12, I answered genuinely. The same happened with “what’s up?”
@@rachelcookie321 what? I tell cashiers my life story all the time
@@rachelcookie321 I still often answer genuinely. I know it's phatic but socialising is confusing
@@jotarokujo443Yeah same, and when I say it myself, I don't mean it as phatic, and am actually interested in how they're feeling. Get a bit disappointed when I get a non-answer.. Have started using "How's your day going?" instead.
But I'm not native English speaker, asking someone how they are and expecting them to just answer a standard answer feels rude. It feels like I'd be pressuring them to hide their bad feelings.
I had that before too, as an American around other Americans. Doesn't help that I met the bugger while having a health crisis of internal bleeding. I genuinely kept thinking he was seeing if I was recovering, but nope he didn't care, he was just bugging people at random.
I find "Greetings Earthling" suits all occasions and continents. One can easily substitute Mars, Mercury or Jupiter when travelling between planets
"Greetings, Jupiter"
"Greetings, Mercuryling"
I mean, if there’s nobody else there who else are you two gonna talk to?
Keeping this in mind for when I visit my Martian aunt this Christmas
That diminutive might make it seem rude
Imagine if acknowledgements were more literal.
"Hello!"
"I understand that you exist."
Underrated comment
literally dwight
That would be refreshing and preferable
the appropriate response to that response is...
k.
In anishinaabemowin we have the greeting aaniin which translates to "I see you're light". Most words in the language describe things quite literally, most notably our word for blueberry pie, miinibaashkiminasiganibiitooyingwesijiganibakwezhigan, when translated means "blueberry sauce that is put between two layers of bread that face each other".
A wizard who lived for 3000 would be fed up with hearing "Good Morning" every single day. That's 1095000 good mornings
_why did you even count that_
You're not considering that not all years have 365 days.
@@mateovazquez6685 wow 😭 truth
If you include leap years then, 1,095,750 days of good morning
This is exactly why I always wake up in the afternoon
As an Australian living in the UK I can confirm how confusing "you all right?" is as as greeting. It took me way longer than it should have to realise it was just a casual greeting. I thought I must have been looking lost, confused or upset a lot of the time and everyone around me was concerned. Turns out they were just saying hello.
One clue is that it doesn't really have a question mark at the end. It's "you all right" not "you all right?" if you listen carefully.
Interviewer: what’s you biggest weakness?
Me: understanding the semantics of questions but not always the pragmatics.
Interviewer: interesting, can you give us an example?
Me: yes
Life hack: Instead of worrying about wether you're supposed to say "No problem" or "You're welcome" after someone has thanked you, simply reply "Indeed" so everyone thinks you're cold and rude
Thanks for the life hack!
Or conversely, say thank-you back and everyone can think you're a moron :)
Advanced Life Hack: Instead of responding with a phatic expression, simply release a high-pitched screech directly into people's ears
They will eventually stop talking to you, then you don't have to worry about language at all
You can also obliterate any form of gratitude by adding a word like "expected".
"Sorry I'm late"
"Indeed, I expected you to be"
@@jamesgrimwood1285 I don't know why i feel being called out, but i do not like that sentences.
Solution: Just combine the two! "No welcome!" "Your problem!"
*you are problem
_how are goodbye_
And now you are hated everywhere, at least they understand.
I've legit said "your problem" once and it has stuck with me ever since
@@RxthlessOfficial I sometimes say Excuse You instead of Excuse Me
I feel like "no problem" is, to a lot of younger people, not really phatic at all. It *is* meant to communicate semantically, by saying that the effort required and the inconvenience placed upon us was not a problem. That is, that we weren't bothered. As many others have mentioned, this is because, as a generation, we are fearful of causing inconvenience, so we want to be clear that others have not caused it to us, so as to avoid them feeling guilty.
well said
I haven’t said “no problem” in a long time just out of habit. I work with kids and teach them manners so I say “thank you” and “you’re welcome” to them all the time. Now it’s become a habit with me. I don’t know if that means I’ve become old or what.
@@ferretyluv It just means you've taught yourself a different habit.
No, not the case. The reason older people often find “No problem” obnoxious is because young people often use it in cases where it’s inappropriate to say “It’s not really much effort on my part.” For example, a boss calls in an employee to reprimand them for something and the boss starts off with “Thank you for coming,” saying so in a serious tone. Then the young employee says, “No problem,” sounding to the boss like an entitled, classless twerp.
The reason there is this age discrepancy is that young people ARE using “No problem” phatically, and both sides misread the other’s signals.
@@StamfordBridgedon't be such a wet lettuce.
When someone says “thank you”, respond with a straight face and a quick but firm single head nod. This not only acknowledges the thanks in a neutral and polite way, but establishes you as slightly more badass than everyone else in the room.
period
This is what I do. Mmhm and nod my head.
People be way too sensitive. I’m helping you, be happy. I didn’t say no, that would be rude.
@@splicerbabe No. Only men do the head nod
Bonus points if you're wearing sunglasses
If I don't say anything to my parents, I get in trouble
i like “no problem” or “of course” because when i’m helping someone, it’s meant to let them know that me helping them isn’t a burden
One thing I've learned is that 'no problem' can come off as selfish. In your example of helping someone, saying no problem means that I only helped because it doesn't take a toll on me either financially, timewise, and or effort wise. You can be seen as someone who only helps when it's convenient, perhaps selfish. That's why you'll hear people say "of course" or "my pleasure".
@@pablorazo7599 I have the complete opposite feeling. "No problem" is much more humble and polite. You're expressing that helping the other person should either simply be the default reaction, or a pleasure. Whereas something like "You're welcome" comes off as haughty and selfish. I'm granting you my help and you should be thankful that I went out of my way to do so.
@@loganbritton6737 i prefere your welcome because its normal no problem sounds rude
@@DuncanWanyoike I prefer no problem because it's normal you're welcome sounds rude
@@pablorazo7599 I mean if anyone ever gives me help I don’t want it to take any toll on them. I would much rather sort something simple out on my own without help if it was going to cause a problem for the person helping, so if the help is genuinely ‘no problem’ I feel a lot better about receiving it. (And this is reversed as well, I don’t want someone to think they are bothering me with asking for help, and I don’t want anyone to ever feel like they owe me something for my help. My assistance is always no problem and second nature, it shouldn’t be thought as if it means anything more than that.)
Just mix it up and use "You're problem"
There, all generations are happy now.
Alternatively, you can use "No welcome"
Genius
All of you guys in this thread made my day
@@LittleWhole Shut up boomer
@@pleepler you're welcome
As a former English teacher (among other things) in Japan for nearly a decade, this is not only interesting, but almost funny. When listening to someone explain something in person or on the phone, a properly-timed 'un' (うん, pronounced 'oon' as in 'spoon' with about 90% emphasis on the 'n' sound) is crucial to keep things going smoothly. If you miss a few in a row, they'll likely check to make sure you're there or still with them. Language shaped by culture (and vice versa) is so interesting.
I started saying “it’s my pleasure” and “any time” instead of “you’re welcome” and “no problem” to avoid the disagreement on which is proper. They’ve served me well. I use any time more for work or for close friends and family because I literally mean that I would help them with what they needed any time they would ask.
Imagine a culture in which the use of “howdy” is seen as overly formal haha
I swear I have other Americans confused when I say howdy
@@mychemicalbromance97 That's because it's more quaint than anything else.
Hollywood killed Cowboys by making the "southern slang" oversaturated
@@ActuallyRocatex start saying how do you do again and restart the process
Roland Owen my name is sue, how do you do!
At my work we are REQUIRED to ask every customer, "What brings you in today?" They almost invariably answer, "Fine thanks!"
Waiter: Enjoy your meal.
Me: Thanks. You, too.
"Hi how are you"
"I'm just browsing"
I hate when someone approaches me in a store and I don't have ny idea why they tell workers to do this. I see you standing there, I'm looking around if I need something I will walk up to you and ask you.
@@ss-nz5sr Not everyone will do so though. I'm the kind of person where if I go into the store and have trouble finding something, I almost NEVER go find a store attendant to ask if they have it or where it would be. However, if I do happen to run into one who asks me if I'm finding everything okay, then I usually take advantage of the offer. It's the store's way of trying to check in with their potential customers and satisfy their needs because they want you to be successful in buying something from them.
“Will you be dining in or carrying out?”
“Good, good. I’ll have uhhhh.”
"No problem" to me is the assurance that the thanker hasn't caused me trouble or tedium, and it's entry into the common language could mean that younger people tend to worry more about becoming a burden than whether or not they have continued access to someone else's help (as "you're welcome" implies)
As a relatively "young folk" I've never thought you're welcome is impolite. I always thought it sounded the most formal and sincere.
As an American, there is a jarring difference between "sure" and "fine". One is saying yes casually, the other feels like you are accepting something you dont want
I can agree with that
Yep. Saying 'fine' is just begrudgingly accepting something/agreeing.
(For any non-americans, this isn't the case if you respond to "How are you" with "Oh, I'm fine")
I feel like this is public knowledge, I can't imagine any situation where using "fine" doesn't seem rude or obnoxious. (unless you're not using the word to unwillingly agree with someone)
@@vorplo5354 How about referring to the weather, "What a fine day"
A lot of meaning is conveyed in how one _speaks_ the word, fine.
As a Texan I find the concept of “howdy” sounding formal to be hilarious
howdy fella 🤠
Howdy has been considered Formal And Informal since inception :/
If you just say it, it's informal if you touch your hat whilst saying it, it's formal.
Surely a Texan would know this?!
@@Kyrelel U rite. It was late when I wrote this so I forgot about my hat mannerisms.
@@spoopythedoopy8411 of course ya cant forget to slap your loyal horse’s ass if ya be polite whilst saying howdy. tsk tsk
Same.
When I worked in hospitality, I did switch between saying “you’re welcome” and “no problem/no worries” depending on the customers’ age
I feel like this is one of the few videos on RUclips that I genuinely learned a great deal from. Thank you!
"Fly you fools!"
"Gandalf, when you say fly do you mean we should literally fly as in summon some giant eagles, or do you mean it in the sense of moving quickly, as in run away?"
XD
Frodo's trousers were undone.
"All of them at once!"
"Or is it rather you warning us about a swarm of flies?"
I still think russian translation that changed it to "run" made a lot more sense
Me: Howdy
Tom: No need to be so formal.
Right? I’m only in my mid-30s :/
Way better than the German _Tach ihr Säcke!_ (= G´day you scumbags)
(don´t use it at all in German, unless you are among edgy teens or alcoholic dropouts)
These quick videos have just recently popped up on my feed and i am quite enjoying them.
Thank you.
I think phatic expressions also help gauge whether someone has time for you (or at least make it appear as though you care if they don't). As an American, and a New Yorker specifically, time is valuable, and wasting it is irritating at best. So by setting up the conditions for a conversation, you give the other person an opportunity to bow out of it. If someone responds to my "How's it going?" with a "Not great, I'm stressed out," maybe that's not the best time for me to start talking to them about the weird dream I had last night.
The Dutch do the opposite. We're one of those "laugh behind the pain" cultures.
So if someone says "I'm doing fine" but they clearly don't, they signal to you they don't wanna talk about it.
If someone says "I'm not doing fine" than you have to sit down with a box of chocolates because they want to pour their heart out to you.
Funny to see NYC does the exact opposite.
Also, if Dutch people are stressed, they'll often say "I'm fine, but bussy." as to not make the other person worried, but still make clear their not in the mood of talking.
"What's good?" Becomes decidedly philosophical without semantics.
Hahahaha this is so true
Haha! I read this and I was like "... what?". It took me a minute to process and when I did I actually laughed out loud in an empty room.
Someone explain
Omg my sister says 'whats good' all the time and I never know how to respond BC saying 'not much' seems really pessimistic
"What's REALLY good?"
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German log on to a zoom call.
The host wants to check that his video is working, so they ask: "Can you see me?"
The Englishman says "Yes"
The Frenchman says "Oui"
The Spaniard says "Sí"
and the German says "Ja"
Oh god. That took me a solid couple minutes to get.
I don't get it QwQ
@@starrise_ say all the responses in a row...
@@Munomanom Ohhh!! Amazing
Sensible chuckle
Thank you! This helped me understand myself and makes me feel so much better. I’m relatively young and neurodivergent. I know I am not supposed to take certain expressions at their content value but this one always bothers me. Now this helps me let go and know that it’s actually other people trying to be polite while my content focus makes me have different opinions about what is polite! Great video.
The Greek word for hello is literally a shortening of the phrase "I wish you be healthy", which is shortened to just "health". "Εύχομαι να είσαι υγιής" -> "Υγεία" -> "Γεια"
Same with Japanese, the word for "hello" is 今日は, literally "today (topic particle)", which is short from
今日は御機嫌いかゞですか, meaning "How are you doing today ?"
Also note that 今日 is pronounced "konnichi", here, instead of the more modern form "kyou"
@@stratonikisporcia8630 and "Genki?" as a greeting too (at least among us youth in the 20 aughts :D), which literally just means "healthy?"
@@fortunefavorsthebold3459 Comparable to the American English "wassup"
@@stratonikisporcia8630 spot on :D
@@stratonikisporcia8630To my ear "wassup" is what someone who is trying too hard to be hip would say. Probably because as a phrase it's worn out its welcome.
I usually say “no worries” in reply to thank you but occasionally someone will say “I’m not worried” and they’re completely on a different wave length to what I mean
I like “happy to help”
@@p_rryagreed
"My pleasure!" is my favorite reply
@@DannoFZ1 found the chicken worker
@@DannoFZ1 on the other hand, it makes me, personally, literally nauseated and uncomfortable when someone says “my pleasure,” when they mean “you’re welcome.” To each their own, just be happy to be correctable for individuals in your own life.
Tom: "Don't be like Gandalf"
Every German: "Why would you ask how I am doing if you do not want to know? This is inefficient."
I'm British but small talk can be just annoying. Probably because so many British people will small talk to random strangers and even sometimes for hours at bus stops or wherever... sometimes I just want to listen to my music or whatever else and have a quiet bus journey? Did I say sometimes I mean always.
"How are you?"
"You shall not pass."
Most of Poland agrees as well. Brits be wildin' sometimes.
@El Cactuar If my understanding of Finnish society is correct, if you're standing close enough to exchange small talk, one of you is doing something wrong.
@@ButcherParry are you from the north of England? That's stereotypically a very Northern thing that would be considered extremely rude in London
Thank you for teaching me the term “phatic expression”. I’ve been using the term “pointless talking” up to now 😅
I use the phrase idiomatic expression.
as a brit (never been to japan), i do looaads of back channelling, and it does cause quite a lot of misunderstandings.
eg. me “mhm *nods*”
them “oh did i already tell you about that?”
me “oh, no, sorry, carry on”
but for me it’s a way to keep myself focused on listening and absorbing what they are saying. if i stay quiet my mind will wander and i’ll get distracted and end up not listening.
Whenever someone asks me, "How are you?" I reply, "High", but they think I'm saying "Hi".
I've been doing it for years. No one's ever gotten the joke.
🤣🤣
It's like those jokes in homestuck about how people are saying rufio/rufioh wrong.
"You're spelling it wrong"
"I'm talking, how can you possibly know how I spell his name when you can just hear my voice?!"
I have been saying "Silla" (Chair) instead of "Cya" for years now too, 3 people got it :)
Clarification: most people speak Spanish and English here.
@@IrvingIV Damn, people still read Homestuck? I'm impressed.
How are you?
The funny thing is, in Australia “You alright!?” can sometimes mean something like “Are you insane!?” so when I met some Brits while I was travelling I’d thought I done something wrong.
It's the same in England, just depends on tone, speed and the amount of contraction. A chirpy "a'RIGHT mate?" with stress on right is a hello, but a slower more perplexed "are you alright mate?" is a question of concern. In the latter, there's no stress on "al" or "right" but each word is carefully enunciated showing that the sentence as a whole is important to the meaning they're trying to convey and not just one word.
"How ya doin?" is chirpy and spoken fast, so you can tell that they're not really asking a question and that it's a greeting. If someone says "How are you doing?" slowly, it means they're actually asking how you are doing.
lWALSHl Language is so fascinating. Thanks for the explanation.
"You alright?" is what the bartender says to you, when you've had one too many, and are just beginning to act odd.
Same happens in (some States of) Brazil - and we English isn't even our official language.
It's the same in the UK. It just depends on the context and the tone used.
I had never heard this distinction, phatic. It really helps to make sense of how these expressions have evolved and become appropriated. Thank you!
Always interesting when Tom puts his Linguistics degree to use.
Fun thing, linguistics can be very applicable in computer science, which is what many of his videos are about. Noam Chomsky, a linguist by education, is kind of respected in computer and information technology. He's done some very important work.
@@Marco_Onyxheart I'm a comp sci major and linguistics minor at uni atm, though am thinking heavily about interchanging the two.
Marco Meijer can you recommend me some contents from Noam Chomsky regarding Computer Science?
I don't know Chomsky's work myself, but one thing I did learn about that had his name on it was Chomsky Normal Form, of a context-free grammar.
So, check out context-free grammars would be my mostly naive advice. The stuff I learned wasn't very complicated, and was a stepping stone to learning about Turing machines and Turing languages
A lot of this video concerns conversation analysis, which leans more towards sociology than linguistics although they are v interchangable
In Indonesia, "where are you going?" is usually used as a greeting like "how are you," it could potentially unsettle some tourists like "where are you going mister?" "Uhhh none of your business?" 😂
What's the default response?
i want to know too, what is the phatic reply to a phatic "where are you going?"
"onward?"
"away?"
"down the only road i've ever known?"
@@royce957 the default answer is usually "kesana" and "ngak ada" which can be translated as "onward" or "right there" and "nothing".
Now that someone mentioned it... Indonesian phatic is sure weirder than english phatic... Smh
@@ZXZZ66_ this is super cool. i really like it.
"where you going?"
"onward/right there/nowhere"
i really, really like it. thanks for sharing! :D
I think this is the case in India too! Like imagine a market setting and you spot someone you know instead of "Hello" you'd say where are you going (kaha jaa rahe ho?/kaha nikle?) And the response would just be a vague "Just here" (bas yahi) or sometimes even nowhere (kahi nahi) 😂😂 as i write i this i realise how stupid this sounds
I had gotten used to “no problem” as a response to “thank you” that I felt uncomfortable using it. Now I use “you’re welcome” more often.
I now use “stay safe” in place of “ have a nice day” about 40 percent of the time when ending and encounter given the current health situation.
I’ve heard quite a few younger people use “you as well” in place of “you too” in response to “have a nice day”.
Good information. People who complain about "no problem" are just trying to find something to gripe about - they know exactly what is meant.
I actually use "no problem" and "you're welcome" to imply different things, though how much it is perceived by the listener I don't know. When I use "no problem", I am literally implying that sentiment, that the action I took to elicit a "thank you" wasn't an issue for me to accomplish, thereby meaning to alleviate burden from the person thanking me. If I do choose to use the phrase "you're welcome", I am implying that I did need to go out of my way to accomplish the task requested of me, and that I feel the gratitude is warranted.
For me it's similar. It usually depends on how long I worked on something, how much effort I put into it, and who I performed the task for. I am, however, not very consistent.
@@trajectoryunown I always looked at "you're welcome" as a form of expressing the favor not being much of a hassle, as in the person is welcome to ask something similar without much discomfort. At least among people who don't use phatic expressions much.
I do the same thing. I use your welcome as a way to give myself more credit if I feel like I went out of my way enough.
I agree with this. I also think this might be why different generations use them differently - younger people (in my experience) ask for help less and feel like more of a burden when they do so, so when they thank people they want to be told that they don't need to feel that burden. Older people already assume they're entitled to your time, especially if you're some kind of retail or service worker, so they want to hear something that implies you're always available to them, in line with that entitlement e.g. you're welcome to take as much of my time as you need. Older people don't feel the burden in asking for help so saying "no problem" sounds rude because you're bringing up the fact that it could've been a problem for you.
For me, if it was of little issue, then I'll just say, "yup." And if it was somewhat of issue then I'll say, "no problem."
I have a hierarchy of responses to “thank you,” depending on how much effort the task was. “No problems” or “no worries” for when it’s no big deal, “you’re welcome,” when it was a lot of effort but it’s fine, and *silence* when it was a lot of effort and I’m pissed I had to do it.
tasks you dont want to do have you thinking "Well you're NOT welcome. EVER AGAIN."
I'm personally a big fan of "my pleasure"
I just grunt.
@@reginaldforthright805 Ah! The universal sign of acknowledgement
Thank you, this is how my brain works
I like that the "no problem vs you're welcome" debate also crosses language barriers. Japanese has a direct equivalent to you're welcome (どういたしまして, pronounced "douitashimashite,") but used in some situations it can come across as "yes, I did you a favour despite your equal/lower social standing." A polite phrase with rude connotations. And in the same vein, many Japanese respond to appreciation with things like "いやいや" (pronounced "iya iya) literally meaning "no no," effectively the same as the English "no problem"
Well, yes and no. The former example you give is because a _very_ common way for Japanese to show sarcasm is to be too polite. As for the latter, it would be difficult for me to determine whether the person is saying, 'no problem,' or if they're simply deflecting the appreciation as is required by Japanese social etiquette with any appreication or praise directed toward one's in-group.
Who actually gets offended when being told "You're welcome" assuming it's in a non-sarcastic way?
its hard to say youre welcome WITHOUT it sounding sarcastic imo
People stupid enough to think “no problem” is acceptable.
My brain: Hey, there's a person. I should greet them. Say something like "What's up?" or "How's it going?"
My mouth: "What's gupping?"
_"How's it up?"_
@@VestinVestin I'm good, thanks! Take luck! Good care!
It's gupping indeed!
My parents: “Is everything alright?”
My brain: “Say ‘Everything’s okay!’ Or maybe ‘Nothing is wrong?’”
My mouth: “Everything is wrong!”
yES
Galdalf's super-pedantic parsing of the phrase "good morning" makes a lot more sense when you realize that Tolkien was a linguistics professor.
Cellar Door.
... and that Gandalf was high.
@Calvin Thanks :)
AWESOME video!!! I love having names to put to things I've wondered about but didn't know how to seek more information on. "Phatic explessions." Thank you for the education, sir! New subscriber!
The fact that Tolkien, a philology professor at Oxford, opens a children's book with an argument about the interpretation of language is amazing, and I can't believe I never noticed it before.
"Howdy sounds dated"
Me, a Texan who says howdy on a regular basis: What
Texas isn't real. The government made it up
No one in texas says howdy unless they're from out of state
Howdoo is also common in parts of the South Western UK, and presumably has the same root.
Here in Minnesota, USA, you might occasionally hear a "howdy", but when I say it, it is often to deliberately be a little quirky, ironic, or lighthearted; usually only with friends.
Your state is a literal cartoon. I'm sorry it took you so long to realize this.
Lmao in Chinese we also greet with “Have you eaten?”
what’s the usual response to this?
@@charliesmith7963 Good, and you?
Dangerous to greet an American like that
@@yourex-wife4259 Oh, not so bad
Explains a lot about the morbid obesity problem in that ancient country doesn’t it
"You're welcome" comes off as you expecting gratitude from the person.
Also, far too many times nowadays, "you're welcome" is used facetiously or ironically, and because of that, I always read it that way. It doesn't seem genuine to me anymore, unless I take a moment to consider who is saying it. I think a lot of young people who prefer "no problem" also feel the same way.
Really interesting to hear. As a non native speaker I learned the "correct" response ( "youre welcome") in school but thanks to the internet/movies Im more likely to say "no problem" as well. However I never perceived "youre welcome" to be ironic or rude. It definitely can be used ironically or as an insult but wouldnt you say that with a completely different and clearly distinguishable inflection?!
@@fr5161 Yes you would, but inflection and tone don't translate over text.
@@OnePlancheMan true xD
weird, even though i'm definitely younger i consider both "you're welcome" and "no problem" as phatic, though "you're welcome" is more polite
I have never heard a single person in my life use "you're welcome" sarcastically.
I remember when I was doing basic Olympic volunteer training and they told us to avoid using "No problem" when responding to "thank you" as many non-english speakers or English-speakers outside North America could interpret it as "No, problem."
"(Good) Morning" is a greeting
"(Good) Afternoon" is a greeting
"(Good) Evening" is a greeting
"(Good) Night" is a farewell.
"Good day, sir!" is a firm farewell.
"G'day, mate!" is a friendly greeting.
saying "have a" at the beginning turns all of these into farewells
Cole Hartel ‘farewell’ is also phatic
"I said good day!" is definitely a firm farewell.
See where I'm from "Afternoon" and "Evening" are also farewells. Strangely though, "Morning" isn't.
I always use “ no problem” because to me it’s expressing that I didn’t mind doing it. With “ you’re welcome “ it seems like acknowledging they were a burden
It's funny because for older people it seems to be reversed, somehow
Saying 'no problem' indicates you think the person who said thank you was (rudely) asking you to do something that most people would think was indeed a problem, but you're somehow special so you don't. No problem = what you asked me was a problem, so you were rude to ask it [but I'm so nice that I'll say it wasn't a problem (for me)]
@@LynxSouth To me "you're welcome" sounds more like that. Maybe we should all just coldly walk away when someone says thanks, at least that's harder to misinterpret :p
@@RyanTosh Turning your back on someone and/or walking away is highly offensive in every culture I know of. Good manners are just the formulas for behavior to keep the wheels of social interaction well-oiled. They keep that part of civilization pleasant and flowing smoothly because we agree on these formulas. There are lots of fine ways to say "you're welcome", but there wasn't a problem until some people stuck in one that sounds the opposite to most people. Please try 'don't mention it' or "happy to help' or one of the many others.
@@LynxSouth I'm joking that it's equally offensive to everyone so it can't be misinterpreted :p
I've always regarded it thusly: if someone is grateful enough to thank me for helping them, then they should be grateful enough not to get bent out of shape if i don't use the exact response they expect.
You're quite correct.
keep up the great work
I'm very happy that you've started this back up again, Tom.
ToNi me too!!!
Dominik from 22d and me
I binged the whole thing a while ago, love it.
ToNi how I found and subscribed to his channel was cuz of his linguistics vids
mmm
People ask me "Hey, how are ya?" I just say "Hello" and they comment "That's good"
Phatic expressions are weird
If someone did that to me, I’d stop in my tracks and calculate the next course of action personally.
That's like bumping into a mannequin and apologizing.
Sometimes i read too deep into things like "How's it going" and i just stop to think "Hmm, how is it going?... How is WHAT going?"
@@captainoblivious_yt
"How do you do?"
"How do I do what?"
Ah yes, the three main words for judging something : "good", "bad", and my favourite, "hello"
I always thought of it like this. If you are being thanked for something you are already expected to do, getting material benefit out of, and/or not doing said thing specifically for the person but just in general I respond with "No problem" if I am being thanked for doing something out of true sincerity I respond with "you’re welcome."
Personally i’m a “no problem” guy. You’re Welcome doesn’t feel humble enough, but i’m willing to recognize that these phrases are usually said to mean the same thing and I choose not to take offense either way. More people should do that.
(As a German) I still struggle to start a work conversation with an American colleague starting "How are you?". We Germans love to rant on how we do NOT feel well. :-)))
I agree, but it's part of learning the language to give the expected response.
You should just start every conversation with “Greetings my American colleagues”
Same, same! I'm Romanian. Every time a British colleague asks me You alright? I start going on about how I had a headache the entire weekend, thanks for noticing! It gets me EVERY TIME. I've been living in the UK for 2 years.
If you'd ask the same thing in Romanian (How are you? or You alright?), you'd be genuinely interested in what's going on with the person. :)))
damn this makes me want to speak german (or romanian)
As an American I still struggle with this in the morning...
I like the phrase "It goes" in response to "How's it going?" It implies no mood, just an acknowledgement that life continues.
Oh hey, that's a calque from the French «ça va» (I think).
In Yorkshire, we say “not so bad, ta” in reply to “how’s it going?” it’s neither bad nor good, and gives away no emotional state.
@@TheN00bPolice Well, the thing about saying "Not bad," is that it still implies that the asker was genuinely asking your mood.
And "Not bad" absolutely conveys mood. If you aren't feeling good, then you're not telling the truth.
(From UK) if I heard someone say “it goes” to that I would assume they are having a bad/busy day.
You nailed it my friend, Watching you tube it jarrs me more and more people greet the viewer not with hello, welcome or hi but with whats up you tubers.. That is a question not a greeting. I often say to my Friends "standard greetings" and they reply "standard reply" but wouldn't say it to most as they may think i was being Obtuse or flippant. But then us brits do have a quirky sense of humour.
My friend greets all people with "Hello!" no matter for how long she's known them. It's so endearing yet simple
My ex always felt that if I said "no problem" to her, what I was really trying to convey was that it was a problem. This became a problem, hence the "ex".
I don't even get this because it's "NO problem," not "yes problem". Like that's the whole point of the saying 😂
@@wheeliebin1791 Right! "No problem!" = "that does not inconvenience me, I am glad to do it"
@@zombiesxaliens the things is why even say the word "problem". I feel like it's better to keep the whole vibe positive
@@PressKevinToContinue Maybe, but that whole thing falls apart when, lets say it comes to giving someone your opinion on something they did, and you say "Not bad!" as a positive critique. That's why the "no problem" phrase should feel completely fine. Because if its all about keeping positive words then why don't people take offense to being told their performance was "not bad"? Just a rhetorical, of course. There is no concrete answer, and everyone will use what they prefer, and that's fine.
@@PressKevinToContinue It’s a double negative which is positive. I see your point but to many they recognize it as positive.
*Them:* thanks for helping
*Me trying to be polite*: your problem
Or: no welcome
I do this all the time when I'm on a sort of autopilot and get stuck between options
The response "your problem" suggests that your help was less than helpful ;)
I felt that
Thanks for explaining the misunderstanding.
And then there is on top of this also factors as intonation and the "scalability" of your "thanks". In text and in conversation you can vary from "thx." all the way to an estatic "Wow thanks so much!!!! :D". Which to add another layer of complication can also be used in a sarcastic way. Humanity and it's nuances, it's mindblowing how much complicated cues and signals we recieve and send on a daily basis without thinking about it.
I'm not a native English speaker, so when going to England to study at university I kept actually answering to "how are you?" and "you alright?" and it was like the language equivalent of fist bumping into a handshake. "Hello" "Yes"
And the opposite, when coming into the kitchen and wanting to know how my housemate's day was and getting "Hi" as the response.
(And quite amusing that attending university lectures and reading course work was fine, yet trying to say hi to a housemate in the kitchen was like an obstacle course.)
In these situations I'm not sure whether to call it a language barrier or a cultural barrier or both
The setting, and relationship, matters.
Sometimes I take those greetings as actual questions and answer them.
Other times I just say some greeting back
I thought that was normal enough
I am a native English speaker,
atleast you have a good excuse
@@JKenny44 My usual reply to "How are you?" is "Fine, thanks. Yourself?" - neither party is actually asking, and both express themselves in the form of a question. It serves the purpose of establishing that both parties are listening and mutually intelligible... as stated, the pragmatic meaning.
ShroudedPanda Language is a part of culture.
Instead of “You’re welcome” / “No problem”; confuse everyone with the Han Solo approach when anyone says “Thank you”:
“I know”
Nothing to do with Han Solo but i have a weird habbit of responding with "i know" to almost anything, even when someone is telling me about something i DON'T know, i instinctively respond "i know"
@@Scionilex317: I know.
@@Milesco I know
Just use "you too" as a generic phatic expressions for all situations... People either get it, or are amused.
Haha, as a Canadian, that's what Americans sound like when they "Sure" or "Uh-huh". I know they mean "Don't mention it" but it still makes me irrationally angry for a split second every time I hear it.
I hate being asked “how are you?” because it reminds me of the constant depression and anxiety I experience. It’s awkward to respond to because on the one hand I could gloss it over and lie by saying “fine”/ “okay”, or I could be honest about my struggles, which people don’t really want to hear. It’s gotten to the point that if it’s a stranger I sometimes literally ignore it and don’t respond at all.
Nah just tell them it’s all good cuz you got some Gold Bond on the ol’ ball sack this morning. Works every time 👍
I think this is why I hate this expression too. It’s a question, but the person asking it rarely wants the answer.
I tend to respond with "oh yup" works like a charm
Same. I just commented that I've defaulted to responding "I'm getting by".
I imagine a thousand years of being a wizard takes its toll on your social skills
Instead of phatic just say "I love you", that gets them every time
Don’t forget to add no homo
The Patrick Star technique
@@Tedisdeaad That’s too much effort. Ain’t nobody got time for “no homo!”
Welcome to Costco. I love you
istg i tell people i love them as just a normal thing and they look so starstruck. it’s really funny if i’m being honest
I say "no problem" when the task had no negative effect on me, and I say "you're welcome" when it did.
"Thank you for letting me know" "No problem"
"Thank you for the expensive gift" "You're welcome"
Huh thats a good point
Exactly this.
I’ve recently run into this when giving customers their food. I have to give a quick but appropriate formality in response to the usual “thank you,” and I soon realized that the more busy and exhausted I was, the more likely I was to use “no problem” instead of “you’re welcome.” I’m 19, so I’m fairly young. Maybe part of it is generational, but it’s not clear-cut.
Now if I could only figure out the perfect response whenever someone says, “I ‘preciate it.”
Precisely maybe I'm a bit of a Gandalf. But i feel that these expressions should convey some meaning.
"I'll say how are you?" If I genuinely want to know. vs "I hope your well. " if I don't wish for a response.
I don't much like it when people I'm not close with asking me questions such as how are you because I feel obliged then to respond. I don't typical want to respond because the truthful answer is i'm not well. Then Im forced with the conundrum of lieing to someone, which just isn't in my nature. Or telling them I'm not well witch then steers the, just now blossoming, conversation in a direction I do not wish, distracting from what ever is actually needed to be said. Also possibly make it look like i'm seeking attention.
I do the same
I hate the common trend of shaming society for constantly replying "good" or "fine" to "How are you?" instead of being honest about how awful we may actually be doing. This video is spot on: "How are you?" doesn't have to be a genuine question. It can just be an expression. I don't want to tell everyone who says "How are you?" that I'm actually feeling really depressed or anxious on that day. "Good," serves the intended purpose just fine.
Phallic expression, you say?
Jokes aside, you have a great point
Phatic. Not phallic.
Phallic means something else entirely.
@@dabiga2315 missed the joke plane buddy
I really like this channel. I think I will subscribe!!
Current Project: replacing all my backchanneling with 'aye' so that I give off a slightly piratey vibe at all times
Don't forget the occasional Yar.
"Aye... Aye... Oh, aye! Yar."
They: "hello!"
Me: *"AHOY!"*
You absolute mad lad.
That's just Northern England and Scotland normally
@@NothingXemnas Fun fact: “Ahoy” was actually the preferred phone greeting of Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone.
when howdy is seen as formal
Interviewer: Hello, glad to have you here today-
Me: *hOWdY*
I think it depends on the area. In Tennessee it isn't used much (I think) and it more for friendly exchanges from what I've seen. It's like 'hey...you my bro, bro'
"Howdy" is absolutely not formal in any context where I exist, here in the Heart of Dixie.
@@HayTatsuko What about 'Howdy, pardner'? Or does it require me to lean my thumbs against the belt too?
I studied abroad in London - as an American it took me SO long to get used to "You alright?". It always felt like there was something wrong with me, like I looked tired, or sick, or upset. Used to say, "Yes..... why do you ask?" until I caught on.
Is taking issue with "you're welcome" a relatively recent thing? I'm only 24, and honestly, maybe I'm part of the transition or something... people my age - including most of my family, such as cousins and parents - will accept both "you're welcome" and "no problem"
I'll be honest, when I ask someone how they're doing (namely my boyfriend) I'm genuinely asking and expecting an answer... tho I guess it would serve as a fine greeting if I cut out the "hello" or whatever we said in the circumstance
Also, I think it's funny to describe "howdy" as formal; to people around here, it's primarily viewed as outdated, and so casual that we might describe it as whimsical or some such
Whenever you ask a German how they are, be prepared, you might get told how they actually are.
I like that part about our culture.
Same here in the Netherlands. Be prepared to potentially hear someones life story..
In Italy as well
It's eighter a full presentation about the persons state of being or no small talk at all. There isn't much of a middle ground.
If both people had a rough day, the weather is bad etc. then both can feel bad together and that's good.
Finns are in this club too. Also we are usually silent listeners and only interrupt if we have something to say. English teachers have a hard time teaching us to act in a manner that is considered even remotely polite in English speaking countries.
"How are you?"
"Problemless."
Anti-problematic
absolutelynotme_irl
Very interesting. I gained more understanding. Thanks
"No problem" is my default response to "Thank you" and I've experienced people finding it rude just a couple of times but it does happen. They say something like "So it's a problem to you?" Which I always answer confused, "No...that's why I said *no* problem. I literally said it's *not* a problem." I always thought it was silly and never got why anyone would think it's rude. I guess it's the implication that it was a problem until you clarify otherwise? Still seems silly to me.
Schrodinger's problem
I never would have thought of “what’s up” like that, but the “you alright” example literally explained it perfectly
You must be from the UK then haha. I’m from the US and it’s the exact opposite.
Same. You alright is genuinely concerned. If I got a text saying "you alright?" its the same as "you good?" I'd understand that you were asking how I am but it would seem weirdly sincere
"what's up" can be interchangable with "what's the matter?" or "what's wrong?"
It's very odd to hear it right at the beginning of a sentence to me.
a typical use might be:
"Hi, how are you?"
"ehhh.. I've been better."
"oh. what's up?"
y'aight?
@@ontley 'Sup?
Saying “no problem” to respond to an older person makes them think you’re disregarding them. Saying “you’re welcome” to a younger person makes them think that you believe you are entitled to their thanks.
It’s almost like people should get over minor word choices and accept the response to “thank you” without being fussy.
I usually say no problem as a response to thank you, but sometimes I add a "happy to help!", specially if it's an older person. I still keep my default automatic response, but by adding that it usually avoids offending anyone because of word games.
So true with the you’re welcome one!
@@megrocks3026 I think it ties into how nowadays everybody’s expected to be more self-deprecating than a frickin servant. But of course they’re only allowed to show self-doubt when they’re complimented or they’re seen as compliment-baiting, and they’re not allowed to be _too_ stubborn about it otherwise they’re seen as rude for not taking the compliment (or, again, seen as compliment-fishing).
I've never had an older person think "no problem" is an issue - in fact that's who I got it from. "You're welcome" is often said w/sarcasm regardless of age. You have to tone check on "you're welcome" but not w/"no problem" in my experience.
*edited for clarity
I would argue that the reason “you’re welcome” may sound impolite is not because we think that someone else thinks they’re entitled to our thanks, but because the phrase is often used in a sarcastic tone and it’s hard to differentiate between sarcasm and sincerity.
Now I understand why my Japanese boss seems to wait for something after he says a few sentences. He was actually waiting for me to say, "Ok(, I'm listening)"
The most correct response to thank you is “no sweat bror”
I lived in Japan for a while and as a result picked up on the habit of emphatic back channeling. Now that I’m living in the US, misunderstandings happen shockingly regularly and I find myself having to explain that, no, it’s not that I agree or already saw the movie or Heard the story, I’m just indicating that I’ve understood the words coming out of your mouth.
I try to make my back channel sort-of in-tune with the story rather than noises which sound like agreement, if that makes sense. It doesn't always work. :)
I'm hearing you
What's funny is I do this as someone who has only ever lived in the US. It to me seems very natural and sometimes leads to confusion
Maybe I'll need to experience this to understand it fully, but just off the top of my head, I can't understand where confusion would be coming from.
I'm someone that lives in the states btw.
@@blokvader8283 as someone who kind of does the same thing but not completely, how I understand it is:
because the noises tend to be affirmative, but it is because they are prompting the convo to continue and that they understand, not in response to what they are saying, which some probably won't understand and assume they are agreeing with them.
American/British: How are you? / You alright?
Swede: *internal crisis*
Nobody in america says "youre alright?"
@@coltonbates629 The closest thing would be "You aight?", but even then that would not be used as a greeting, but more as an expression of concern.
@@coltonbates629 Good thing no one claimed that then.
I would be having an internal crisis if I was a brony, too.
@@coltonbates629 Read his comment again, left side of both "/" is American, right side is British
“Howdy” is still used in everyday language in Texas. Love these types of videos. Cheers.
In Spanish when someone says, "thank you," we respond with, "de nada," which translates into of nothing or it's nothing. When speaking English, whenever someone says, "thank you," to me, I respond with, "it's nothing," but got responded to by, "I couldn't do it by myself. I needed your help. It isn't nothing." 😅 I was so shocked