The Right Time to Come Out.
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- Опубликовано: 20 май 2017
- Jack came out at 15, I came out as pansexual 21 and genderqueer at 24. Listen to out experiences :)
My First Gender Questioning Vid: • Video
Jack's Video: • Coming Out At 15 vs 25...
His Channel: / @jacksjourney01
The intro and outro music was by Camryn Gustafson: eggboymusic.bandcamp.com/albu...
Stalk me! (Or don't, I don't own you...)
Second Channel: / ashleymardell
Twitter: / ashhardell
Facebook: HeyThere005?r...
Tumblr: / ashhardell
Instagram: ash_hardell
Endscreen music by: / jc41tv 
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I'm 58 and came out as Asexual when I was 54. I've known I wasn't strait since I was a teen, but couldn't figure out where I fell on the spectrum because so little was known when I was growing up. I knew I wasn't Gay because I wasn't attracted to men, but I also wasn't attracted sexually to women. I just thought I was weird or hadn't meet the "right" person or some of the hundred other reasons idiots think about Ace's. Thank goodness we have people like you to spread awareness. It def changed my life. The most troubling thing I have had to deal with, coming out this late in life, is the people I have known for years asking me why I was lying to them all this time. sigh They tell you you're broken, then get mad when you're not.
Davy Dave I'm ace also.. but I'm also 13. Yay, people always tell me I'm crazy and not developed yet! Trust me all the girls in my class are slowly losing their virgintiy and I have NO interest in that. Also I'm Pan. Yay!
im came out as bisexual when i was 24
I'm fifteen, asexual, not out yet (except for a few very close friends) and getting tired of hiding from my family. My family has started to assume for themselves that I'm lesbian, and I'm too afraid to correct them.
Knowing and understanding yourself is a huge first step, so enjoy it and come out when you're ready. You sound like you have some great friends!!
I think the best time to come out is when you're confident enough to not let others force you back into the closet, no matter what age that might be.
I'm 13, I came out as Pansexual to my family a few months ago. My method of coming out was to make a Facebook post because my family is homophobic and I was afraid to do it in person. Once I posted my coming out thing my Aunt's commented that I was too young to be sexual anything. That really made me sad but then I stopped caring about their opinions on the matter and continued to be myself with the support of your content, Thank you Ash
Also I was told by a Christian cousin that I was raised wrong
I'm sorry your family isn't supportive! Coming from a Catholic family, I too am worried about this. Stay strong and stay safe, fellow pan!
Luli'sFrenzies thank you
I also came out at 13! It makes me happy when people say they've come out at my age because people have made me question myself and say 'it's just a phase' and things of that nature. It's nice to relate to people, so thank you for sharing this & I wish you happiness and safety❤️❤️
5sauce thank you for the support :)
I'm 15 right now and I came out for the first time to 2 friends last night!
Doglover12 Same, but I came out on Friday. I expected more of a response but nothing really changed between us, which I guess is good.
Congrats!
YamiTheEevee both of my friends that I told r trans so they were very supportive
congrats!
Good for you!
I came out last year at 17 to my parents as a lesbian by wearing a tshirt with "I'm fucking gay" written on it, and underneath that is a person wearing another tshirt saying "I love boobs" surrounded by other phrases all saying some variation of i'm fucking gay. It's my favourite tshirt
but it also meant that I could do it without actually having to say any words myself because I'm so bad at talking about things like that and I probably would've cried and then not done it,,,
sapphictea Fricking awesome way to come out!! XD
ALSO SUBSRIBE TO JACK EVEN THOUGH HE MAKES ME FEEL OLD!
Ash Hardell you are so cute goddamit
Maybe you are... OLD.
jk
Don't worry Ash! I'm 25 too! 😂
Ash Hardell I think the best time to come out STRICTLY when its safe I think kids or teens or adults don't need a designated time to come out because it is purely for the acceptance of people you love because you already know who you are and that I feel is vital and personally most important. I don't think there's a right time I feel as though you do it when YOU'RE ready and they are just coming along on the journey with you to simply choose to continue to love you for being you and if it turns out they don't you just don't need to be around that person.
Ash Hardell I will be 25 in October.
Jackson is *_ADORABLE_*
Jack came out at 15, I came out as pansexual 21 and genderqueer at 24. In this vid we talk about our experiences. When do y'all think the right time/age to come out is?
Ash Hardell I, personally, don't think there is a "right age", its more like a right time for an individual. I came out as pansexual when I was 20, but about two years later I realized that lesbian was a better term for myself. Then I came out as grey gender to my girlfriend and myself some time last year, at 24 (which I partially have you to thank for but thats another story) But, like you I am still trying to figure out what my gender means to me. P.S. Thank you so much for making the content you make. ❤ I'm sure I'm not the only one you've helped.
Ash Hardell honestly i'm 22 and i'm STILL trying to figure out my sexuality so i applaud this young man for having the certainty of who he is at such a young age, when you know you just know...❤️
Well I came out to my friends as bi/pan at 17, I'm 21 now absolutely sure of my sexuality but haven't told all of my friends because it never came up and I don't think it's relevant idk.... and still haven't told my parents: we shall see where that one goes ^^' I think whenever you feel comfortable and you want to :) age doesn't really matter. And I think you are always allowed to change your labels whenever you want you discover more with experience and age :)
I came out as Pansexual when I was 16 to all of my friends and yet my entire family doesn't know or maybe know(?) because sometimes I give out hints. There were times when I wanted to be called "Bro" (Kuya in my Language = Older brother) rather than Ate (Older sister)..
I think that there's no definite age on when to come out. I guess coming out should be done when you know that you have a safe place to go to. Like when everything goes wrong, you know where to go to. You have a back up so to speak.
THANK YOU ASH FOR MAKING THIS LOVELY VIDEO WITH JACK! ❤️ Love you both from the Philippines 🇵🇭
Oh wow. I came out when I was 31. Almost a year ago. I must be ancient!
Same, I came out last year when I was 34 😂
I have you both beat! lol I'm only out to my sister and my bff and I'm turning 46 in a couple of weeks. At least I've started the process, but realize I have a long way to go.
B Wms Congrats on taking those steps! It's never too late!
My mum, who is 44, came out a couple of months ago. It's never too late :D
*Live your truth* . All that really matters
I always think it's interesting when people talk about coming out "at" a certain age, because that implies that it all happened within the span of a single year. For me, it's been a multi-year process. I came out to my best friend (the first person I told) at 19, and now at age 21 I've only officially told 4 people in total. I'd like to finish telling those close to me by the end of 2017 and be "fully out" this year, though, so I'm excited to see how things go.
Great collab with thoughtful questions!
cellogirl0096 Good luck :) xx
I feel the same way, I came out to my mom when I was 13, when I was 17 to some friends, at the age of 23-24 I came out to my sisters and dad and I still feel I haven't fully come out. I also believe that everytime you meet new people you will have to come out at some point not necesarily when you meet them, so you will always be coming out. English is not my firsy language so I hope this makes sense.
cellogirl0096 yeah, the first time I came out was to my already out friend, took me two years to start telling others people
same! I came out to my bi friend Selena when I was 14 and my gay friend George when I was 15. Since then, I am now out to at least 20 or 30 people, though I've only told a few explicitly that I am bi. I just came out to my parents about a month ago since I had a girlfriend, and I consider that my first official coming out. It is still really hard to come out to straight people. I haven't come out to any teachers, extended family, and many of my friends, and I know it will be a lifelong process. Coming out definitely does not just happen once, and that is exhausting, but it also forces you to be more confident in your identity and your ability to know yourself despite what people will think.
cellogirl0096 i get that. i "came out" at 21. i first told my dad at 6.
I'm 15, almost 16, and I came out as gay like 3 months ago.
I just wanted to share that
CepFins I'm proud of you 😀
CepFins I'm proud of you too!
CepFins I'm proud of you for coming out it feels great being your unique self now☺
Thanks guys!
I'm 15, almost 16 too and I came out a few months ago as well. Congrats! It takes a lot of courage! (I know from first hand experience 😅)
I am 28 now, but I cane out when I was 15/16, was completely disowned by my family (trans woman). Definitelty was not easy, had to get a job and an apartment.
vofenn That's so sad, I'm sorry :(( I hope things are looking up now❤️
vofenn I hope things are going smoothly now 💙
Oh no that’s so sad but I rly hope life is so much better for you now 💙
Talk about "Not like the other girls"
But on a serious note, wow. To pursue your identity at such a young age, facing such hardships is truly incredible. Congrats!
Okay, so I'm just gonna spill my heart out:
I'm 15, and I came out as gay just before my 15th birthday. This was quite easy, since I live in Denmark, where same-sex marriage has been legal since 1933, I belive. I have reasantly read your book, and I stumbled across a definision of the identity agender, which I hadn't heard before: They reject the concept of gender entirely or think it is irrelevant for the personally. This was the closest, my expirience of gender had ever been defined, but then, when I turned to page 127, I found the lovely identity gender indifferent. It was like bells in the back of my head, and I thought "that is it! That's me!". I have never been so happy for an entire day, I think. Now I am going to come out to my family as gender indifferent (and technically androsexual) as soon as possible. Thank you so much, Ash, for letting me find this out about myself, and for expanding my lgbt+ knowledge.
I love this! I'm so happy for you
Maddison Emily Thank you.
I came out at the age of 15 as a lesbian (now I am 19 years old) and I felt safe to come out because I knew that my friends aren't idiot's and I no longer lived with my parents at that age. I know coming out as a lesbian is not the same as coming out as a trans person but I think you should only come out when you feel ready and safe (age shouldn't matter)
Great video Ash! Greetings and love from Germany💙
I'm 21 and still not out. I do know who I am (gay) . I'm just so scared of what the rest of the world might think...
eilony09 I a lot of people will have your back, wether their on the internet or in real life, if it's family that can be tough but you know who you are, and you don't have to 'come out' like pulling someone or a few people to the side and coming out that way, it could just be correcting someone when they say that they "can't wait for you to get a gender specified partner or that "they want you to hurry up and date someone" whatever happens, there are going to be people who have your back
eilony09 I know I'm just 13 but when I was afraid to come out (as BI) I just told myself that it didn't matter. Why does it even matter if we'll all be gone one day and when I stopped caring it was a lot easier. Best of luck ❤️❤️
I'm 43 and gay and have still not come out, as my immediate friend group and my family are homophobic, as are most of my colleagues. I genuinely fear being ostracised at work and possibly disowned by the family. my advice is: do it only if you feel that you can do so safely. living a lie is a terrible thing for your own mental state, but being hurt physically or abused verbally can be worse.
eilony09 you got this!😁 even if some people don't support you, others will. I support you, I believe in you 😊
Two words: don't be. People love you no matter what.
Hi. I'm a girl and...i'm only 12. And I haven't really come out yet, because considering that i am 12,, i'm still questioning my sexuality. However, I sort of came out as panromantic at 11-12, I've never explicitly said i'm panromantic (Mostly in fear of them not knowing what it is) but my mom occasionally brings it up and I discuss ideas like being attracted to people regardless of gender identity, etc.
Mostly I haven't had a real "coming out" event because I already know that my immediate family and at least one of my aunts are very supportive, so I don't feel a need to. My mom and I are actually going to a pride march this sunday!!
No one really cares but I just felt like saying it, haha.
And for all young people like me who have homophobic, biphobic, transphobic, etc. parents, just know that me and many other people believe you are valid
mediocremaddie Ik how you feel I'm 12 to and I'm lesbian and kind of questioning but I'm pretty sure I am .I'm not out but I do have a big crush on one of friends so that is totally not awkward at all .
mediocremaddie Thanks I'm a 14 year old boy I came out to my friends from about 2 month's ago to last week as Bi.
I'm also 12 but I am just going with my gut about my sexuality. So according to my gut I am demisexual but I feel like Is till need to figure out my romantic orientation. Although I am using panromamtic as my romantic label for now. It could always change but I feel like it fits me so until I find a better fit I am a demisexual panromamtic
I came out at 16 as bisexual and then probably at uh 19? as genderfluid to my mom. My dad probably has no idea what genderfluidity means and I think he doesn't really have to know. All he knows is that I like to dress "like a boy" sometimes.
edit: Oh right I am 22 now!
When I came out I got kicked out of thanksgiving I was 19 I was ready my family was not
Adding to that I also found you when I was much younger you're one of my favorite youtubers and I enjoy the analytical discussions you have about things in the community I am a masculine presenting genderfuid person I identify on the trans spectrum and I am most comfortable being seen as male
i came out to some friends when i was 11 and to my family at 12. I knew super early
Olive.Leila I’m currently 12 and came out to my friends and current gf a few months ago and then my mom a few weeks ago,but my mom told my nanny and auntie and her friend with out telling me!;(
Olive.Leila HEY! it’s okie I just turned 12 and came out to some friends. Also I’m planning to come out to my parents soon. Can you give me tips how you came out? Thanks!
Thats had to suck!!!! I couldn't image if my mom told the rest of my VERY christen family I am Panromantic
@@cameronkirstein First have an idea of what you want to say, some sexualities and romantic identities are less known so if you aren't gay, lesbian, or homoromantic, you might need to be prepared to answer questions. Second, remember that you are important and this is who you are and you will always love yourself. Do it someplace where you feel comfortable, taking a couple deep breaths can help you get a little less flustered. I just came out to my mom as asexual and aromantic and I am awful at explaining things so I found some youtube videos about my romantic and sexual identities to help. As far as gender goes I am cis so I can't help:(
I came out to my friends when I was 11, I’m now 12 and I plan on coming out at the end of school and I’m so. Freaking. Scared. And I, don’t, know, why!
I came out to one person when I was 15 in 2013. It was sports day at school and they told everyone including the teachers who told my parents 'for my own safety'. I thought as he was a Christian I could trust him... obviously not 😐 I couldn't be in a happier place now though ☺️
I'm happy that you are happy now
Ash Hardell Thank you ☺️
I'm 16 and I haven't come out as gay yet to anyone other than close friends but I'm working on it!
Hopefully I'll tell my brother soon!
Rebecca Boulton good luck!
good luck!
You can do it!!
Rebecca Boulton Good luck xx its great you're planning on it :)
Rebecca Boulton I believe in you! Love wins 💕🏳️🌈
Another "ancient" here! I came out to myself at 25 last year, and have been in an ongoing process of reconciling my sexuality with my faith as a Christian. It's been an interesting journey, but RUclipsr's like yourself with great LGBTQ+ content have made things SO much easier to learn about a plethora of topics as well as answer many of my questions along the way.
I know this is a really old comment, but I'm in my 20s now and found Transmission Ministry Collective, a group specifically for trans, genderqueer, and questioning Christians, and it's been great! I'm only out to two people IRL, but I'm glad there are more resources now, even though far-right propaganda has also spread further.
I came out as bisexual when I was 16 or 17, I can't remember which. Since then I have decided to describe my sexuality as queer, and explain it as polysexual. I'm still in the process of settling in my sexuality; becoming comfortable with it and understanding it. When I first came out, I didn't really experience any negativity. Everyone was kind of like, oh okay! What I've noticed since then is that my identity is often sexualised and can lead to some inappropriate conversations such as coworkers - whilst on the job - asking me about my experiences with women etc. Also, I have had difficulty explaining my definition of polysexual and how it best describes how I feel. A few days ago I felt quite frustrated and insecure discussing it; I was speaking with somebody who identifies as pansexual, and they felt that my identity was somehow discriminating against other genders because their definition of polysexual does not extend to all genders and thus has exclusionary undertones, whereas my definition doesn't need to go that far or get that specific - attraction to 'many' genders is correct for how I feel and that definition is enough for me at this point.
I'm 38 almost 39 and I came out as lesbian 3 years ago and now I'm exploring the term Pansexual. You are never to old or to young to know who you are😍
I go to an all girls catholic school as well and most people are silently homophobic
so props to jackson for coming out as trans
it's been quite a ride for me and luckily I only have one year left
Renegading Creating lucky to have one year left! I have another 5 but my school is queer-phobic. Argggghhh
iT completes Pollard
I hate it so much next year will make 12 stinking years
I wish you the best of luck
I'm not sure you'll see this comment. But... I'm French and this type of video is what we miss here, so I'm really really thankful for what you're doing.
You made a lot of changes for my life. I don't know how to thank you. But.
Thank you
They say things come into your life at a moment when you need them and I needed this video in this moment so thank you ash for always being an inspiration and helping me to come to terms with who i am
Gosh, I love this community. I wish you happiness and health friend!❤️
I came out at sixteen, as lesbian by going to a school dance with a girl as my date. Go big or go home haha
I love Jacksons accent
I came out at 13 it was less than a year after I knew... I can't keep a secret even if it's my own.
gravityphanschronicals same lol
gravityphanschronicals I came out around a month ago, about a week after I knew, I just couldn't keep it to myself and I knew my friends would be accepting (considering most of them aren't straight lmao)
I came out to my best friend 10 days after I knew !!!!
abbie types in lower case because thats edgy me too!!! I felt weird because I thought I was the only straight person in my friend group which is wrong I am ace/aro lol
Apparently when I was 5 I came out as lesbian and forgot. When I came out as bisexual at 13 my mom told me when I came out at 5 and that she already knew. The last time I came out was at 14 as pansexual and genderfluid and my family and friends were supportive.
Oh and I am now 16.
i actually came out "officially" to my friends at 11 years old
Michelle Allard I cant because my family would say I’m too young
I'm 12, came out to a close friend at age 11 as homoromantic asexual and later as genderfluid, because I really don't know what I am and I don't really care my gender I'm just me if you get that. Anyways, my friends make me feel safe, I'm constantly 'hinting' my asexuality with like "wHY DO PPEOPLE CHOOSE TO PENETRATE OTHER PEOPLES GENITALS IN A BIG SWEATY LOTIONY SEMEN SWAMP" and whenever somebody brings up the word straight in any context I say something such as "lol cant relate." My new best friend, who has gay parents, is accepting obviously and my parents are the kind of people that make friends with moms with gay fashion designer kids and watch RuPaul's Drag Race. I KNOW IM SAFE ITS JUST I CANT sAY IT BECAUSE IM JUST SCAREDaOFm dnkdj. But my real question is, should I come out this summer, this winter, or next year on spring break when my birthday arrives?? wow i just overshared my whole life
Honestly, there is no easy answer. Coming forces a lot of introspection which in the long run is a good thing as it makes you comfortable with who you are. Its ultimately for you to decide. This may not help but there is an analogy of life you might find interesting. It goes, when you're young you care what other people think of you. As you grow older, you stop caring and when you're old, you realise that no one cared about you, to begin with as they were too busy worrying about what others thought of them.
Coming out is a lifelong process; no one said it was easy.
shane hElP thAtS litErAlly mE too??
Ashh!! On Jackson's channel you mentioned that you first thought you were gay when you were younger and then realised you were pan. I'd really love to hear about that, since barely any youtubers have done a video on that yet.
this is bloody brilliant
It's always the right time to come out to support you!! Love you Ash :)
I came out as Pansexual at 12. I'm 13 now. I haven't come out completely. I'm about to tell my friend that I'm gender queer too.
So I'm 26 and I'm bi and married, but I haven't come out to my family or most of my friends. Part of me is worried that it will be brushed aside, since I'm married to a man. It makes me wonder if my identity is even valid. And as someone from a very religious family with anti-gay sentiments, I'm not sure if I even should.
tldr: coming out can be really, really complicated even when you're 'older' and financially stable
this is a great quality video and i love what you all talked about and the points you made! I'm so glad this kind of information is spread around the internet.
Dear ash,
I just want to say thanks for making videos like this. It helps me and other people figure out who they actually are in life. And why there here. It's all been difficult for me but you give me hope to deal with all of this. Thanks.
16, asexual and demigirl, still in the closet irl (only my two closest friends know) and sadly, can't get my hands on a binder because of that. Also gotta bear the sex talk at school without saying a thing...
When I was 14 I came out as a lesbian to my best friend at the time, she then told a girl who had bullied me since we were kids and within an hour suddenly everyone knew, even the teachers (I'm from a small town) and suddenly the bullying went from just silly girls making dumb comments or shoving me in the hall, to very real physical abuse. I was so scared that I never told my mum about it, almost two years ago we moved to a much larger town and everyone instantly welcomed me with so much love and kindness that I was able to accept myself once again and I had never felt so liberated...I am now 17 and it really does get better x
Ash, your filming and editing skills never cease to amaze me. It's really clear how much effort you put into them. This video is incredible and beautiful.
Also, I definitely don't think there is a right time to come out, you have to listen to yourself and consider the environment you're in at the time. I somewhat wish I came out earlier (I came out last summer at 19, and I'm 20 now), but at the same time, I wouldn't have felt as comfortable with it if I had. I do wish that I came out to myself earlier, though, instead of shoving it down and repressing it for years. So it took a whole lot of "undoing" to come to the realization. I'm just now starting to question/explore my gender a bit more, but I don't feel in a huge rush to come out as anything. I think coming out young has its advantages/disadvantages and so does coming out a bit older (because really 21 and 24 are still considerably young!). I like to think my life would have been easier if I had come out at 16 instead of 19, but everyone comes out when they're ready, and there is no right or wrong time for anyone!
I always look forward to your videos, Ash, they never disappoint :) love you lots!
i think its amazing that jackson felt so solid about himself while still among his school and family environment. im younger than you ash but id still consider myself in the "old" category, just because i really waited as i grew to see how my identity would shift. fortunately im not really interested in hormone therapy as of yet. but in a way, i havent felt like ive come out yet - more like im rolling my identity around on my tongue, waiting for the words to solidify. so yeah. major props, jackson, i think thats really cool.
I'm 22, and I still haven't come out to my family. I don't feel the need to though, to me sexuality is not a big deal so why would I bother coming out? Haha
I'm 13. I'm ace. How do I come out? my parents will say I'm too young to know. plz help. thanks 😊
Cora Tasker well I'm 16... And I'm ace/homoromantic but I tried to tell my sister and she said I was too young to know.... sooooo maybe when we are 18 people will believe us..
thanks, someday things will get better. Much love😊🖤💜
i'm ace as well. I didn't really officially come out. If people ever bring up the topic of relationships and sex, I just say: "I just don't want to do it. I don't feel the need to." and most people just take that as it is. There are lots of people who say that I can't be in a relationship without sex, and I just shrug it off, because sex isn't the only thing a relationship is based off around. It's just one thing that you don't do, and that's okay!
it's silly cause my parents are against me having sex but when I say I have no desire to do that they're like "whaaat??!?!but you should have kids!" 😒
(thanks though😊💜🖤💜
haha I just say that I'm going to adopt! There are so many kids out there that need loving families and a roof over their heads. Or, even better, FUR BABIES
I'm here to broaden my perspective :) I still love your videos :) thank you so much for helping me learn so much
Ash, your book gave me a definition I needed!!! I found out today that aporagender is a thing, and that it is me in a nutshell. Also, as a MN person, I find you extremely relatable. I live about an hour from Minneapolis.
1:21 I'm dead!!
I love your videos so much ash. :)
I recently came out as agender at age twelve, and watched these two videos over and over. Thank you for making these videos, they're a big help.
This video makes me feel so valid! I'm not out to my family yet, but I am to my friends and people at school. I'm 14 and genderqueer, and this video just made me feel so good. Thank you Ash and Jackson!
There's a 7-year-old girl I know (she's a family friend) who just can out as trans (male to female) and her parents are lowkey accepting but sense she's so young they don't want to make any changes yet. Like I don't think they even use a different name or she/her pronouns AND IT MAKES ME SO MAD like Ik she's young but it can't hurt to just use a different name and the right pronouns? Do you guys think I should do anything about it? What could I do??
My brother's friend from elementary school also came out as mtf at around 7 or 8. She had much better parents who let her wear skirts and 'girl clothes' to school and referred to her in private with she/her pronouns for about a year before she officially came out to her class. I'm pretty sure she goes to an all-girls school now. It's terrible how the girl you know was (still is?) treated, but the opposite is also possible
Hey, this is for anyone who thinks they have advice for me. I'm thirteen, and bi. I'm 100% sure, and I know it isn't a phase. I've only told one friend, and she isn't even my closest, but she's gay and her sister is bi, so I knew she'd support me. I want to tell everyone, because I know my parents are supportive of the L&G community, but I don't know about the B. I have anxiety, so whenever I'm about to tell anyone, I get really scared and feel like I'm about to pass out. Any advice on when and how I should do it?
somethingfalls hey! Idk how helpful this will be but I'll do my best :) when i came out to a few of my friends I found it was easier to start with saying "I have something to tell you." It's easier than actually telling them but it kind of commits you to telling them as well. I also came out to a couple of my friends via text and that was so much easier than telling them face to face, so you could try that? As to when to come out, make sure it's safe. Ik this is a kinda shitty answer as well but just when you're ready. I'm not out to my parents so I don't really know sorry! Im not sure if any of this will help but remember there is a whole community of people there for you and I'm just one but I support you and I hope everything will work out for you
AnnaIsBored thanks! Honestly any help is better than no help. I'll try it via text, but really, thanks.
somethingfalls start with something that they won't let you take back, like "there's something important I need to tell you". I learned that because I was really scared to come out and just said it randomly and my mom was kind of mad that I just laid it on her and I didn't sit down and talk like a civilized person, but I knew it was the only way to get it out.
somethingfalls Hi! I'm also 13 and BI!! When I came out it was really scary especially in front of my parents even though I know that they are supportive of the LGBTQ+ community. But when I just said hey um I'm bi and it helped them understand when I explained how I felt. And also they usually don't even bring it up anymore. Best of luck ❤️❤️
somethingfalls it's no problem, glad I could help :)
Everytime Ash or Jack talked about "Blockers" I just thought about Sense8 hahaha. Awesome video!! Love Ash to the eternity
OMG ASH!! Your hair is AMAZING!!
The idea that transgender kids/teenagers aren't "old enough" to form a gender identity is total bs. Kids are always forming their "gender identity", from the moment that they're toddlers.
Ash's hair so neatly done and beautiful just makes my heart feel calm.
Omg!! Camryn is my friend, I had to do a triple take when I heard him singing at the start of your vid
This was super insightful, thanks!
ash I just realized you have like almost the exact same hairstyle of me and I really love how confident jack is like I wish I was as confident as he is even if I'm just bisexual
yasss i love jack, was so happy to see u too were collabing!!!!
i came out at questioning i guess when i was 20, didnt stick to the agender label until after i turned 21. friends were the most accepting and supportive and those who werent, i didnt stay friends with. family has been a journey and although im still not out to my dad i get support from my sisters. im 23 - almost 24 - and feel comfortable with coming out at this age. when i first started questioning, i was about 13/14 and spent a long time questioning. although there was a lot of pain through that, in glad i spent the time i did questioning because i learned so much about myself!!
thank you for the video!!
I'm 15 and came out for the first time in about January/February as Asexual & Demi-Panromatic
I'm still not completely sure on my gender and I'm now questioning whether I'm actually demiromantic but I'm pretty certain I'm Ace & Pan and I'm experimenting with genderfluid (maybe idk... agh)
I bought your book recently and reading it has really helped me to understand the LGBTQ+ community more and understand some of my friends' identities a little better so thank you for that! - I'm only on section 2 though so more awesomeness to come :D Also, the spectrums section of the book helped me learn more about myself which I'm extremely grateful for
I haven't come out yet (I'm 15) but this video really helped me because one of my main concerns is that people won't believe me because of how young I am or that I'm just doing it because "it's a trend with your age group" (yes I have actually heard that). I just want to thank you so much for this video and for how much your channel inspires me and countless others! :) ❤
Awesome video! I love your content Ash. Answering your question, I started to come out as bi when I was 16 and then as "gay" when I was 17. I also came out to myself and my friends as genderfluid when I was 17! I am 19 now and I would definitely say that coming out is a long process as I am not fully out to everyone in my life and maybe I'd never come out to some of them.
BrainColapsed i love your hair!
As late as I am to comment on this video I just love rewinding to see Ash and her videos, but I came out to my best friends as Pansexual 4 days ago and i still don't feel relieved but just seeing Ash makes me so happy. ASH IS ADORABLE!
It's Jackson and Ash yay and a new intro I'm living!!x
I'm a 13 year old trans boy and I came out a few weeks ago. My mum was super supportive, although she was a little doubtful that these feelings would last. Things are looking pretty good.
i have been like for one quarter of my life half out with my gender identity but this year i have been in the process of coming out to my friends and my mom. i have been for the past 4 years questioning my gender for real and i feel like i have come a long way already but i have some big questions unanswered. i read your book ash and watch your videos (and other youtubers) and they help me alot! so thank you so much!
I came out as ace when I was 19 - I had only known myself for about 6 months but I felt it was too big a deal to not let my close family and friends know... I came out in stages though to different groups starting with those I felt would be the most supportive and I think that helps because I got used to saying it out loud without confrontation so when I finally came out to someone not as open minded I felt more confident in my identity :)
Awesome video, Ash! I really liked the questions you asked.
Anyway, I'm a 14 year old trans guy. I'll only be out in school in September, but I just came out at marching band about two weeks ago, and it went super well. The staff is incredibly respectful, and the rest of the band has been using my name and pronouns which makes me super happy.
One thing that makes the coming out process a bit harder is that my sibling is also trans (nonbinary). I've been in marching band for 2 years, and they just joined last year, but they were out at that point. People knew them as the "trans one", and then I came out so I get paranoid that it looks like I'm copying them somehow.
Loved the video concept (and of course the video itself as well)! I came out as "not straight" to my parents when I was 14, in retrospect I kind of realize I wasn't really ready to come out to them since i was still very much questioning and not very sure of myself or how I identified. At the time I definitely treated coming out as something I needed to accomplish like AS SOON AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. Not to say I think you can't come out as questioning, the problem wasn't that I was questioning, the problem was that I wasn't okay with the fact that I was questioning... if that makes sense? It kind of led to me spending a long time being really unsure whether or not I was "really gay" especially if people would try to invalidate my feelings about the whole thing. At 16 I no longer hid the fact that I was gay at school and the same year I slowly started questioning my gender and coming out as non-binary (this time being fully okay with questioning and knowing it was alright to not be sure) ^^.
your hair style in this video is🔥
you are such an inspiration xx
I'm 12 and I came out as gay a couple of months ago and I still have guys at school asking if I really am or saying I'm not. I have never felt more happy in my life . I came out in the car after a therapy session it was kind of awkward but it was the best day of my life . I want to thank you Ash bc I have watched so many of your videos as I was questioning and trying to come out. You are such an amazing person and words can't even explain how thankful I am.
I came out as gay at 27 and realized I was non-binary at 46. I am 48 now and it has been a very long road to find myself. I still use she/her pronouns because it's been my norm for all these years and changing to a non-binary gender marker on my paperwork would take a long time. I applaud everyone who can make their transtion in this more accepting age. To use terms from my early Gen-X days, I am an old, lesbian, tomboy. Yeah, not a perfect descriptor but as close as I can get.
I just bought your book!! I know I'm late but better late then never
this was a great collab. i love this video. your opening of explaining was awesome. i feel so much. i came out officially at 17 as bi. 21 or 22 as pansexual. i tried coming out at 15 but went a couple of times trying to with my mom. i am trying to come out as bigender or genderqueer to my family now and im 23.
Super late but I came out when I was 14 to all of my friends as trans and bisexual. They accepted it very well and in later years I have discovered more about myself to be more accurate. I've realized as of late I'm demisexual and transgender. Along with this I just recently came out as trans last year during national coming out day to my parents and family. It feels good to not be hiding this anymore. Also I love your videos and am so happy for you and Grace!
I came out to myself at 16 and to my friends at 17. But I don't feel comfortable telling my parents, even though basically everyone else knows. But I really like my coming out story to my class, because I told my English teacher, if I could have a few minutes from his lesson to explain myself and he gave me a whole lesson to talk about it, so that was pretty amazing :D
"I need someone super old, how old are you?" "25" "Perfect"
LMAO!
I'm very young (not even 15), and I came out as pansexual to my mother last February; we talked about my sexuality the other day and I've been told that "I could change at any moment" but I'm like 140% sure I won't. after a lifetime of looking for something that applied to me, I finally found what I am, and hearing that I'm just trying to be cool, that it's not who I really am, that I'm just copying other people and that I should start thinking with my own head (my sister's words), it's heartbreaking, you know what I mean?
but fuck yeah I also came out to my classmates and some were accepting and supporting and some other kids still call me "shitty gay" bUt heck yeck I'm super open about my sexuality at school (with teachers too) and it feels so awesome, it makes me feel at ease!!
all my friends also know that I'm pan and they were obviously accepting...since I only have queer friends lol
so yeah that's my story~
You have helped me so much with my identity, being a 15 year old lesbian, and I thank you for what you have done to make me- and us all- smile.
I came out almost two years ago, and to be honest I regret it slightly. I was even younger than I am now and hadn't spent long enough thinking through my identity. I no longer identify the way I did. However I'm also pretty glad I did! At least my parents are aware than I'm not completely cis-het and make an effort (sometimes). Either way I think as long as people spend a while thinking about it then go ahead! No matter if you're 13 or 30!
I love the new opening!!!
I came out at bi at 18. I came out about a year or so later as agender and asexual. It's weird now bc I feel like I have to come out again (some people still think I'm bi, like my parents). However, I hope to become more confident in myself. I am constantly questioning my gender, going back and forth on changing my name to Evan, wondering why I feel the way I do. A lot of my poetry is about gender and sexuality, and that and a lot of RUclipsrs like you have helped me understand myself a lot more, and I'm grateful for that!
You are my icon. I love your videos so much and you help me understand that being non binary or not heterosexual is okay. It's beautiful. So thank you for that, please keep up the fantastic work 💖
Loving the hair
i came out to friends as bi at 14 and halfway came out to my mom then too. With my friends it went pretty well, they took a while to get used to it but they accepted me. with my mom she sort of implied that I have a lot of time left to figure out who I am but now she accepts my identity fully. Four years later I still haven't come out to my dad or to most of my family so I'll update you on how that goes haha. I really want to and am planning on doing it soon.
Right before a vid I got an ad that said "We believe that right now is the best time to change things around" RUclips, are you trying to tell me something?!?!?!?!?
Help, i just fell in love.
BTW Your eyes jacksonnnnnnn!!!!
I came out at 15 too! I was super scared and I cried, but it didn't take many coming-outs (yeah?) to realize that there was no need to cry.
I just came across ur channel n ur absolutely adorable ahhhhh
I'm bi/pan and i came out a few months ago. it was a really hard time for me then but the support i got made me feel better. Also, it's a great filter for great friends; the ones who stuck with you no matter who you love or who you are, are the ones you should keep in your life
I was 16 when I came out officially as a lesbian but it wasn't until a month ago (I'm 22 now) that I came out & accepted myself as genderfluid. For years I was so confused about my gender & felt crazy for feeling like I wasn't just a female but also a male. But now that I have discovered what I am I have been happier & doing so much better mentally. I have finally began my transition of being more fluid & expressing myself & it has been so wonderful! Ash your videos has been my saving grace! ❤
I've just come out as Pan, well I say just, it's probably been about 6 months and the reaction for the most part is half and half, so it's okay. I've also been questioning my gender and have come to realise I think I'm a Demigirl so yeah, bit confusing but then I realised I'm still me! 😸 thank you so much for making this video, I've actually spent my whole weekend finding out about what it means to be transgender and things to do with it so it was really mega cool to see this!!! 😸😺 thanks for being a great RUclipsr, you've helped me loads (and now my friends) thankaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!! 😸🐱😺😹
I am 16 and just came out as bi about a month ago! You really inspired me to own my sexuality by the way and your videos still give me a lot of strength. It went really well. I did it in the car while driving back from a trip with my mom when I decided "ok, before the end of this drive I'm gonna come out". I told her I was bi and that I had a girlfriend and she cried a little and I cried a lot and she said she was proud of me for knowing this about myself.
However, I have still never heard her validate my bi identity, she just tells people (especially her lesbian friends) that I have a girlfriend, cause I think she seems to think it's more of an exploratory thing since I'm so young. Also, neither of my parents seem to be aware of how hurtful gay jokes can be for me, since they still think my bisexuality is more of an experience or phase than an identity for me, so they don't call people out on it even when it's hurting me. Who knows, maybe it will be a phase, but I am pretty mature and have done a LOT of introspection since I started questioning in 6th grade and came out to myself in 8th grade, and I don't think it should matter if it is a phase for people to respect your identity.
Overall, coming out has been really positive though. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I don't have to be so careful with my words now. I don't realize how hard that is until I go back into spaces where I feel like I have to hold my tongue and not make too big a deal out of it. It really is an ongoing process, and I am not out to everyone I know even among my friends and family. I think it will be much harder (or not worth it) to come out to certain teachers and family members, and it still feels awkward like I'm trying to be a special snowflake or get people to care about something that isn't that interesting, but it is getting easier to do and I am so much farther along in this process than I could have dreamed of two years ago.
Thank you Ash for all you do for LGBTQ+ youth like me. You inspire me so much and have helped me self-reflect and get to know this part of myself and feel proud of it (something I never thought I could do for such a long time). If there are any other young people who are thinking of coming out and know it won't put them in danger, I would encourage you to do it at least to a few friends and/or your parents. It was so scary for me, and it hasn't been all positive, but have been living a much more authentic happy life since I did it and it feels so good to not be lying by omission anymore.
I'm 15 and I've come out a few different times during me being 14/15. Many people have thought it's a phase, as i keep finding new terms that suit me better and better, but the people who are closest to me accept me for any term i label myself with. I don't need blockers/hormones. The only thing i would need is a binder, but i will have to wait for that
your hair looks lovely in this video Ashley