To my old and young nonbinary friends alike - you are loved and appreciated! I hope this gives you some warm-fuzzy feelings. Please give this a like if you enjoyed, it truly took me AGES to edit, but it’s one of my favorite things I’ve posted in a while :D
Hay Ash, I have a question. Have you ever meet a person that doesn't care what pronouns you and any buddy else calls them, because I don't know if I'm nonbinary, gender fluid, or something else.
It’s hard to find older lgb role models, but trans ones and especially nonbinary elders sometimes don’t seem to exist. This video made me day. Thank you
supercrazypurplegurl That’s because “non-binary” was invented in the last 10 years, with unprecedented new presentations to gender clinics. older people making this claim are outliers. It will go out of fashion like hippy, punk, goth, punk and emo did.
At the LGBTQ Youth Organization I've worked with for 5 years, I met a nonbinary adult for the very first time. They're in their 40s and have a kid. With tears in my eyes, I told them that they showed me that I could be nonbinary AND an adult. That I could live to experience it for myself. That "nonbinary" and "adult" weren't mutually exclusive. It was life changing for me.
I cried so hard while watching this. I didn’t even realise how hard it is to fight the “transtrender” image all the time and hearing that there are older people who have been going through the same thing and have lived through it was so impactful.
Jordan van Steenderen What’s impactful is homelessness, youth suicide, poverty, climate change, corporate greed, corruption. Get to grips with some real issues.
Alx Why are you being a bigot on all these comments? Go away. Why are you even on this video in the first place?Are you just here to show off how close-minded you can be?
I just LOVE how Kate talked about how Non-binary is a cis paradox and how the formation of this identity is about change WHILE WEARING A 13TH DOCTOR COSPLAY. Absolutely brilliant.
@@xbduf4gb trans is also used in molecular chemistry and biological. Cis and trans are opposing terms which makes it an appropriate comparison to use in terms of gender.
@@your_local_fander3702 Most people seem to pronounce it 'sis' like a shortened version of sister. It means someone who identifies with the gender they were assigned at birth. It is often seen as the opposite to transgender (which includes non-binary people too).
"language is finally catching up to gender actualities" that's such an awesome quote. next time someone tries to tell me we're just making new terms up i'm gonna tell them exactly that.
Is 'ish' still a thing as a pronoun? They all use 'they' them' pronouns but I thought I read that sometimes.. Sorry for asking, I'm not an anglophone and just catching up on vocab :)
none business seems pretty real to me, maybe inspect your upbringing and what you’ve been told to believe and maybe you’ll find that you’ve been brainwashed? As a non-binary person myself who has literally studied the history of gender, I think science has a little more knowledge here than you do :)
none business hilarious how you say it is only the youth where this video and this comment you are replying to specifically shows people of older ages being non-binary as well. But as your handle suggests anyway, I guess this is ‘none business’ of yours. :)
none business Ah, found one. so tell me. why come here, on a video about non-binary stuff? Maybe you came to try and understand them? that is a valid excuse. however, why go into comments, telling people that they’re wrong, and giving no real arguments or proof? Maybe you’re a troll, maybe you just hate things you don’t understand. What is your motive?
Thank you for doing this video. I'm 42 years old, non-binary, preferring to have no pronouns at all rather than use the more common "they/them". I am on a low dose of testosterone, preparing to have top surgery in July, and I always felt transmasculine, but not necessarily fully male, so when I first learned the new language for genderqueer/non-binary identities, it just clicked as what I felt. I've identified as non-binary/genderqueer for nearly a decade, since I learned the language to describe what I already felt.
@@drustanastrophel9538 Yes, that's exactly the idea. Just use my name rather than any pronouns. It can get a bit clunky if you're having to do it a LOT at one time, but generally, it's not too hard to do.
@@sabrinagranger5468 I feel that a lot, with not minding more feminine kinship terms but hating the idea of *female.* Tbh tho for me it probably has something to do with the fact that my first language (the language my whole family speaks, hence the kinship thing) doesn't have gendered pronouns (we have ones that refer to physical sex, but they're not used unless it's actually relevant to the conversation) so my brain automatically converts all pronouns to neutral, but then I'm like "no wait that means they think of me as female ew" and it's just all around difficult.
I always lived with not feeling right about things. I was never as feminine as my sisters or female friends. I wanted just to be me. Not only male, or just female. Just me, however that felt, on any day.
I am 59 and nonbinary. It has been quite a journey to find some comfort in my gender. The term nonbinary in itself did not exist till 5 years ago or so, but I knew I am not a man or a woman for a long time. I owe to transgender people for letting me see that I don't have to identify with my biological sex, and at the same time they let me realize that I am not the "opposite gender" to my biological sex. This was in the 90's when so many transgender people came out of LGB community. Until then I believed that I was a lesbian just because the idea of biological determinism was so solid and unbreakable in my and most people's consciousness. I feel human collective consciousness is coming to loosen up more on fixed polarized idea of gender recently and am so glad that this is happening. Thank you for creating and posting this video!
I’m 67 and I’ve always been a nonbinary. A they/them since birth. Always had an androgynous appearance; deliberately so. Loved it when form fillers had to ask m or f. Wanted to say both! Neither! I am me, dammit! I’m different! I hate Aristotelian thinking if it’s not black, it’s white. if you’re not a Man U r a woman that locks me into one and locked me out of the other it’s still difficult but it’s a little easier now, especially since we do have the words, and there is a little box down there that says nonbinary.Puts a big smile on my face every time that I see it. sail on good ship nonbinary and all aboard that’s coming aboard!
Right? I was sent to a gender therapist at 16 when some genetic tests showed I was intersex and it was no big deal. We talked about gender, my identity, my sexuality, etc etc. for a few sessions, and came away with a better understanding of myself and with the conclusion that I'm a cis woman. Whoopdie doo, big deal. Let people explore things and don't judge.
This. This is the thing so many people don't get. Even if it's "just a phase", the feelings felt are so real and often very painful. I remember that for years I couldn't stand looking at my body in tight or 'feminine' clothes and how I hunched over as for people to not see my chest. Because I felt unseen. I felt reduced and limited and misunderstood and I once was told by a person at the café I worked at who complimented me on my androgyny that I looked at the world with such a pained expression in my eyes and I almost broke down then. Because I felt seen for the first time. And not scolded or just commented on for what I wore or how I cut my hair like many others did. And that's what compassion can do. I remember how I started watching Ash's videos and seeing their progress (I hope I'm not using the wrong pronouns, I haven't watched this channel in a while!) and also the kindness even if things are hard and it gave me so much hope for myself. And today I feel okay with who I am and that's why people like Ash are so important. Love, kindness and compassion are so much needed in this world and it will always be like this.
As someone who has a nb grandparent this is amazing to see! I call them my granny and they’re just about to turn 73 in a few months. It made me so happy to see this beautiful video. It’s truly hard to see older NB/Trans people. Thank you so much for making this video, it’s truly amazing to see a representation of older NB folk ☺️❤️
My(I think 40ish year old) cousin recently told me they’re NB and as a teen NB person it was really nice to know about that and know I have an older NB person actually in my life
I'm non-binary and for a long time I felt that I "had" to get full top surgery to be valid. But... Seeing that I can get a reduction but not get rid of them entirely... It's helpful. Thank you for sharing!
I'm non binary and had a breast lift without reduction (I had a lot of loose skin from losing weight and breastfeeding and it caused a lot of dysphoria.) Sometimes I really regret not getting the reduction/removal altogether. I gain a lot of weight in my chest, so when I'm trying to gain muscle I inevitably gain a cup size. Super frustrating, but I'm working on losing weight now. I'm hoping to retain some muscle tone while losing.
Wow for real? I’m actually trans & non-binary... I had no idea about the magic 42 age! It’s really odd cause I used to look & dress like a boy since I was 4 years old until I was 7 & only answered to a males name that I chose! Growing up I just thought I was a lesbian since I didn’t know that it was possible for me to transition! I used to be a drag king in my 30’s & it never accrued to me that I am trans! Only this year that I met my friend’s boyfriend FTM & it really made a lot of sense of how I was feeling. It was the missing piece of the puzzle sort of speak! I’m much happier in a way but there is a lot of struggle at the beginning & my lesbian partner isn’t really happy with it but if she can’t accept which is understandable then I have to look for my own happiness!
You are become life, the universe and ever- _Ah._ Someone already referenced it! Very good! @Kali "Turning 42 is the only thing I'm looking forward to about aging 😁 " Merlin's beard, _yes._
As a NB "elder" (33,) I'm so glad that the younger generations are better able to identify their gender identities and have them be more accepted and understood than I experienced as a youngling. I have seen the culture around gender change drastically over the last ten years. *proud tears* It gives me hope for the next ten years.
I am 75 years old and just came out as nonbinary this summer. I attended a talk by Kate Bornstein back in the 90s and interviewed Sandra Bem about androgyny and gender salience back in the 70s. I always knew I had a strange relationship with gender, but didn't know how to define it until recently. I am finding more elder genderqueer and nonbinary people on and offline now. We are here.
@@HeyThere005 you're on it already! I'm just the mama of an nb, and you are a great source of information and inspiration for them and myself. You are doing holy work, encouraging people to embrace the way Gd made them. Bless you! 💚
Ok but this actually made me cry. Being told you don't have to choose a side is radical. Trying to figure out which box you fit in is exhausting. The comment about not knowing how to map your own future and not having visible elders but they are there really touched my heart.
I know!!! Most of the old people I know are absolute douches and extremely homophobic. I know they weren't thought about lgbt+ folks but THEY HAD LIKE 20 YEARS TO LEARN
Kate is one of the best people to have ever existed! I absolutely love them and how they’ve lived their life so openly. Such a strong, amazing person. Truly inspiring
As a straight white male I came here for education. I have very little knowledge of this, and I felt it was time to change that. I have a guest coming up on my podcast and want to make them as comfortable as possible, and not let my ignorance possibly hurt feelings or be little their voice. Thank you so so much for videos like this. You all are beautiful and your voices are being heard 🥰
I am 36 years young and people always seem shocked to find out that I'm just really figuring myself out at the age of 36. So this video helped me a lot. Especially since I'm having a hard time right now just dealing with a lot of emotions and stress in my life. So thank you for making this video.
I’m 31 and have only started to accept that I’m gender non-conforming over the last few years, first landing at non-binary but as of very recently I’ve discovered agender which is SO me. Looking back on what I can remember of growing up I always felt genderless / rejected gendered stereotypes at least till puberty and the violence of being socialised as a woman began and I internalised the male gaze. Trying to untangle and deconstruct what is patriarchy / gender norms and what is actually truely me has been gruelling but it gives me hope to see people that I see myself in who are older than I am, which very rarely happens.
@Jake Dean Why are they the best? They are an amazing human in general who helped me come out to my parents and they are an insanely talented concert photographer.
@Franco Cavalli did you even watch the video? Also cultures have been using similar terms for centuries. Are you calling native americans- who had two-spirit (third gender option) mentally ill? If so you are incredibly racist, transphobic, and unintelligent.
@Franco Cavalli yo why are you so obsessed with genders we get it you don't believe in it you don't have to shout it to the world we don't care like at all
@Franco Cavalli good for you now that you said that can you leave why the hell are you watching this video in the first place wait dont answer that I just want you gone
@Franco Cavalli why are you so obsessed with your opinion on just saying there is no reason for you to boast your opinion to people who obviously don't agree with it especially in a comment section of a a video with a bunch of people who don't agree with your opinion
42y/o AMAB Trans NB! Love this video, thx Ash! “I don’t care what pronouns you use as long as you meet me with positivity”. ~ this is a paraphrased Rain Dove quote, that I absolutely adore and identify with.
@@thedarknessofnana i was going to reply to them but if they've been reported already ok. have a nice day *this comment seems so useless i can't--* _ignore how useless this reply is. please._
So I'm glad I watched this. It made me realize how important it is for non-binary people to make themselves known. I didn't really consider how new the term "non-binary" is, which put things in perspective. While I may not identify as non-binary (I don't feel the term is appropriate for my experience), I am so happy to see these people owning the term and rocking their authenticity. TBH I would love to sit down and grab tea with all of these people, just to learn more about their stories.
That's pretty much my experience too (although I figured it out when I was older than you.) There's scaremongering about an "epidemic" of "nonbinaryism" or "rapid-onset gender dysphoria" but I think it's actually all of us looking around and going "...wait, there's a word for this? Other people feel this too??"
I always knew I was different. But like you I didn't have words for it till I was order and once I had the words it's made identifying as binary really uncomfortable.
@@lexica510 the-orbit.net/zinniajones/2013/09/that-was-dysphoria-8-signs-and-symptoms-of-indirect-gender-dysphoria/ i think this is what caused ROGDs. because you know, someone writing about something and not being a doctor is really helpful, and it's not like those symptoms are comorbid with anything else. so if i was feeling those, i'm transgender, and it's not from my bipolar or something else right?
lexica510 The number of people presenting to the Tavistock Clinic in London has increased by 4000% in the past 10 years, of whom 80% are female. This occurred since the promotion of “gender fads” on social media. These are predominantly females who reported no gender issues during childhood (Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria). 95% of children who claim to be non-binary grow out of it.
I just want to say how much I appreciate your fantastic videos. I'm cis/ace but I watch these more for my child who is smart, kind, creative, funny, non-binary, and absolutely amazing. I want to always be there in a way that is supportive and compassionate, so I watch to learn and to broaden my understanding as much as possible. This video just brought a huge smile to my face from start to finish. Thank you!
Alx They meant cisgender when they said cis. Cisgender is basically a person whose Sex and gender match up. Of course, you wouldn’t have known that, based off the other replies I’ve seen from you
I identify as Non Binary , I started binging my chest when I was only 13 years old. I had no idea what binding was, so I wore bathing suits under my clothes to school to flatten my chest. When I got too old to get away with wearing bathing suits under my clothes every day, I doubled tight sports bras. Eventually someone introduced me to the Ace wrap bandages, and then finally real binders! I've been binding for 15 years. I have never felt fully female or male since I was young. I have been saving up for Top Sugrery for a long time, and still have a ways to go. But no matter who you are , or how you identify, you are valid! Don't let people tell you it's a phase, or discriminate against you. Even when it comes from our own lgbt+ community. 🌈❤
X Z Another one, i see. so tell me. Why come here, on a video about non-binary stuff? Maybe you came to try and understand them? that is a valid excuse. however, why go into comments, telling people that they’re wrong, and giving no real arguments or proof? Maybe you’re a troll, maybe you just hate things you don’t understand, or perhaps you think you can change people with just a few simple words? What is your motive?
Same for me, I had never heard about anyone else who was non-binary (or what ever words existed back then) when growing up, and was trying to invent clever diy ways to bind lol. I only got a real binder and a name change couple of years ago, after divorcing my ex-girlfriend. I guess she was always trying to convince me I was actually a woman, even though I didn't really realise it back then.
*with happy tears in my eyes* It was your channel, Ash, that helped me, a nearly 50 year old, realize my non-binary identity just over 4 months ago! My warmest gratitude to you for that. Every person in this video echoes my own experiences & feelings & all I want to do is hug every one of you all & say “thank you, I love you” 💕
@@misty8915 I don't know if you can really quantify strength, I'd say that there are lots of groups of people who are strong. Doens't mean NB people are any less perseverant than them!
This touched something deep inside of me. I’m a 27 y/o genderqueer person who isn’t completely out yet (only a select few know) but this was so affirming and encouraging to be more open. Thank you so much!
This give me hopes to become an adult as a nonbinary person. It's scary being sixteen and nonbinary not knowing if a future can be made as a nonbinary person. But watching this video and seeing the comments of older nonbinary people inspires me to continue on and be true to my identity as I grow older. Thank you ash.
It's 2022, I'm 50+ years old, and I just had top surgery. It's taken this long because as the wonderful folks above said, I had no language growing up to help me identify. I remember struggling with not feeling like a boy, even though I dressed masculine, and not feeling like a girl, even though I was born as such. I was just "me". The gender dysphoria is real for non-binary folks too. It took years of denial, a failed marriage, then society's growing acceptance of the LGBTQ community to finally understand and come to terms with myself. Watching Ash's and other younguns' videos about top surgery finally got the wheels turning in that direction and I'm SO happy now! Elders may have paved the way, but sometimes it takes the youth to shine the light on the road to self discovery. Thank you for sharing your story, Ash. You, and others in your generation, helped me grow and finally fully become myself. I wish you luck and happiness as you continue your journey.
Ash, Thank You SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Much for putting in all of the work to edit this together. I know how much work video editing is. It takes a lot of time, patience, and energy. Thank you for that. And thank you so much for reaching out to the wonderful humans. Several of them are some of my favorite people! The rest were new people to me and were great to hear from. And thank you to everyone who participated. I cannot find the words to really explain how much I truly and deeply appreciate this video. It is so validating. And it helps me feel less alone in this. Today has been such a rough day, after such a difficult and overwhelming week. I've been dissociating a lot and really feeling down. I finally had a new treatment option get offered to me for a hormonal issue I have been dealing with for years, that drastically affects my mental health. So I had this great hope, and then my insurance denied the claim and I don't have $500 to pay for it out of pocket. So I've been feeling really down and had a bad trigger in therapy. It's just been rough. So this was such a breath of fresh air and has me crying grateful tears because it has been such a difficult journey with this non-binary stuff and always feeling out of place. It was really nice to have all of these voices in one place and to not feel alone. Thank you
I wish all the people who call me a "special snowflake" could understand all the things said in this video. This video shows extremely well that non binary isn't some sort of Tumblr trend as most people think. Keep making these amazing, educational and open minded videos because this truly makes a positive difference to all people - whether helping people struggling with dysphoria, discrimination, questioning gender etc. or people who are now more aware of the diversity in this world and how beautiful it is. Thank you to everyone who contributed to this video! ❤️
I'm 43, assigned male at birth, and have spent most of my life hiding both from others and myself. I'm also on the autism spectrum so I never felt like I fit into the "norm". I got beat up and teased really bad growing up so I tried to make myself as tough and bad ass as possible to feel safe and scare others away. I've always known that I didn't feel entirely like a man but didn't feel like a woman either. It wasn't until recently that I even had the language to describe myself. Before I understood what nonbinary was I just described my self as a man with a really big feminine side that I hid deep deep down. Now I identify as masculine nonbinary and use he/they pronouns. I am really grateful to the younger generation for bringing these conversations to the spotlight and for the brave pioneers that started the conversation.
I will be 33 next month. I'm married to an amazing man and have 3 beautiful children. I've just recently come out as genderfluid. We come in all ages, shapes, sizes, races, etc. It's never too late to be YOU
every once in a while, i come back to this video and watch it again. just to remind myself that i can have a future as myself, where i don't have to pretend and hide anymore.
How did this come out at just the perfect time in my life. I IDed as nb before I transitioned (MtF) and stopped identifying that way and felt kind of miserable. Now I'm trying to relearn that I don't subscribe to any kind of binary, and that my transition isn't indicative of needing to. Even though I went through this process, I'm still not required to feel female 100% of the time. Shout out to Natalie Wynn for retweeting this, allowing me to see it!
What does "feeling female" feel like? What is not “subscribing to any sort of binary”? You mean you are someone who lives in society who doesn’t like sexist sex roles (like most people) and are possibly feminine for a man and so think you have to change yourself instead of changing sexist social sex roles.
@@xz740 You see, this what I don't understand about the way you think. Can you really not comprehend what Gender Dysphoria is? 'Cause we'll try to explain it to you politely and with patience. Gender Dysphoria is not a fad. It's not sexist gender stereotypes that we're trying to cure by changing our bodies. You are comfortable in your own skin, yes? Course, you might have insecurities about how you look or how you act, but that body feels YOURS, right? With all the flaws in your life, it's still you? Yeah. That's the problem with gender dysphoria. It's like regular body dysphoria, but specifically about the physical and social aspects of being your birth sex. Your body... doesn't feel like it belongs to you. So if a person was born female, they would not feel like themselves being seen as a woman or be comfortable with their sex characteristics. Those breasts would feel alien. It's disturbing and upsetting, to say the least. So you can understand why someone would want to surgically change their bodies to find relief from that almost constant feeling of not fitting right under your skin. Therapy should not focus on trying to cure you of "thinking you're the opposite sex". No, they've tried that and it has never truly worked. We go to therapy to sort out our worries, complex feelings, and traumas related to being trans and nonbinary. And also the insecurities of not being able to pass without subscribing to the sexist gender norms should often get worked through but not always. So yeah.
@@sagehoff969 Did you read my post? Where does it say that I think "gender dysphoria is a fad"? Gender dysphoria is a medical condition associated with depression and anxiety and requires medical treatment. What is a fad is people coming along and seeing how popular it is to call oneself a so- called different gender as part of popular culture. This is evident by the terms people use such as “I identitfy as” such and such. Identifying as an entity is not being that entity. People with gender dyphoria experience themselves inherently as having gender issues not merely “ identifying” as something.
💙💜💙 I need to watch this every morning. As an older non-binary it’s empowering and wonderful to know that I’m not the only one who came out later in life.
this video just made me cry my eyes out I swear (I'm sure drinking half a bottle of wine this evening, also added to those tears lol) 9:31 I really feel this part, it is super emotionally draining to trying to correct people, or educate people on my gender identity, it really is too much sometimes it just makes me wanna stay home and never be social again. 10:08 is where I started balling my eyes out, because same, I will probably always be misgendered, every day, for the rest of my life too. and that really just hurts, but I know everything will be ok. 11:41 this end part where everyone reminded me everything will be ok, really, really helped me collect my emotions right now after such a cathartic cry
As an older human just figuring out that my feelings have a name, this video was life changing for me. Thank you to everyone that gave wisdom, time, and insight to this piece. I feel so much less alone.
This definitely gave me some amazing warm and comforting feelings, thank you so much ash just for putting out so much positivity and love into the world. The quote “I knew but didn’t have language” is exactly how I feel about being genderqueer. It was truly like finding a piece to the puzzle like they said. I have felt pretty alone and just all around invalid about my identity because I am comfortable with a myriad of pronouns but I suppose that is internalization I will continue to work through! This video gave me immense peace and validation. Thank you to everyone being so loving and supportive of each other in the comment section as well, hope you all have a lovely day!
Just last week i finally admitted to myself that i'm non binary after many years of hating myself because i was "not being able to pick one", and i think you've definitely played a part in me accepting myself, this is a super wonderful video that makes me love being enby even more, i love you
This is probably gunna be a long comment but here I go lol. Ash, and everyone else thanks for this video. I rlly appreciate it. I'm about halfway through and I actually started tearing up. For years I've always felt so alone and like a freak. There were times I wanted to end my life. Not because of being trans but also because of being transgender nonbinary. I hated being nonbinary. I wished I could be a trans guy because in some ways transitioning can be more straightforward. Nonbinary it's tricky because u don't want to be seen as completely male or female. But, maybe u just want a little bit of each gender, ect. It varies. I'm 22 years old but seeing these older ppl rlly makes me emotional. Especially an actual gender therapist being visible as nonbinary. Screw these toxic ppl who spread hate or talk crap about u. You're an amazing human being and cover a lot of good topics in your videos. You're good at explaining too. Thanks for all u so, Ash. Keep being amazing. 😁🤗
I am extremely glad that RUclips recommended this video to me recently. Lately, I've been struggling with dysphoria and the weight of being misgendered multiple times, daily (sometimes even being blatantly dead-named, too). I was being hard on myself because my peers (who are cisgender) weren't struggling in the same way. I really needed to hear the reassuring words of everyone in this video, because I feel like I can be myself unapologetically and remember that I'm staying true to myself. We're here, we exist, and I couldn't be happier about that. Thank you
Just started coming out as Non-Binary at 48, when I have known I have been this way since I was 7. Thank you for this. It is a great way to be supportive with those who are older and coming to terms with the truth of themselves. 🖤
Thank you for sharing this. I'm 31, and non-binary, and it's been a struggle for me to take myself seriously. The words of encouragement and acceptance means more than I can convey. Thank you.
All these folx are so effin eloquent! I enjoyed listening to all of them so much. Kind of tearing up because of the shared pain AND joy, the validation of my feelings and fears and also the very empowering words... Ash, thank you for giving a platform to these people! (Really loved the background music).
This video was super impactful for me. I just realized I'm NB a few weeks ago at 27, and I was afraid that coming into it so late meant I might as well ignore it. Now I feel empowered to come out to my friends, and maybe even my family. Thank you.
When i came out my grandma basically told me she felt like me and if she were my age she douleur probably do similar things. She is realy supportive regardant my queerness and my disbalities ! ♥
Thank you being an awesome human and showing other humans that non-binary people exists no matter the generation they belong to and that those people older than me (I’m 22) are valid in the way they feel
Thank you for this. I didn't realize how much I needed this. I'm 34 and discovered/realized I was non-binary at 31, right near the beginning of the pandemic, and its so great to see other people being out as their authentic selves and I love you all
Ash! This video is epic. So important. So needed. So generous. Felt like a cuddle for my heart watching this. I was nodding along the whole time. Thank you to you, and your guests, for seeing me. Much love from a 36 y/o genderless human x
Hi Ash, just wanted to say Ive been dealing with PTSD all on my own for almost a year now. Your videos have been such an important light that have helped me through.
It's a long and continuing journey to step into yourself. I'm am so grateful to see a world where these open, honest, and loving sentiments can be shared.
I clicked so fast !!! Been waiting for this video and I know & follow most of these lovely ppl (excited to find more to follow!!) and seeing them makes me feel so seen & validated in my identity 😭🖤 thank you for making this
I am 44 and I am nonbinary. First time ever saying this, but always knew this. Ash and guest, thanks for this, I have been so scared to my authentic self and I have felt this is a young movement and I dont have the courage to step up and say this is who I am, but seeing this fellow nonbinary friends I feel stronger to step up and be free.
Thank you so much for making this. I'm a (very) late 40s non-binary person, who, like many of the people in this video, always kind of knew, but only discovered the words a few years ago. It's hard sometimes when you tell someone you're NB, and the response is "isn't that just some trend the kids are doing?" It's so affirming to see so many older NB people, both in your video and in the comments, and know we really are everywhere, it's just we weren't talked about before.
Kali thank you so much!!! I’m so glad you’re happy with yourself, and that must have been a tough journey to discover yourself (I know mine was!) so I’m rly proud of u and I hope you’re doing great!! ❤️
Every single video I've watched of yours I've cried... it's so hard to find someone so inclusive and open to help others understand just because you're not considered into a "social norm", theres still nothing wrong with you. Thank you so much for this whole channel and everything you've done for others to make them feel valid..
I've just found this video because I am a nonbinary person who is 50 years old and only realised that I'm NB in the last year or two. I was 47 when I realised I was aroace (like so many people, have always been this way, but I simply didn't have the language to describe my experience before that), and the freedom that knowledge brought empowered me to explore other aspects of my identity, hence landing on nonbinary. Most of the NB people I see on social media are much younger than myself, and it's so lovely to see so many people of different ages and experiences represented here. Thank you to all of the wonderful, amazing humans who shared their experiences here, and thank you Ash!
Thank you so much for this Ash, and everyone in it! I watched this a year ago and it was amazing, and rewatching it is even more validating. I needed this so much. Thank you. My uncle is non-binary too and I really look up to them! They came out as gay when they were fifty, and then later we figured out our gender identities together. I am very lucky to have them :D
I know I'm late to this video - but thank you! I'm literally crying cause I'm nearly 40 years old, just found out I'm non-binary only recently and I feel seen! I'm on a journey to myself with all the self-doubt and euphoria. But to have lived over decates seen as gender XX makes the change so hard. I doubt I will come out to everyone I know... Luckily, my husband is supportive and my child young enough to naturally accept it. "There is nothing wrong with you!" was something I needed to hear today! ❤
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this. I had no idea how much I needed to hear this and it brings me to tears. Just thank you. We are valid. We exist.
To my old and young nonbinary friends alike - you are loved and appreciated! I hope this gives you some warm-fuzzy feelings. Please give this a like if you enjoyed, it truly took me AGES to edit, but it’s one of my favorite things I’ve posted in a while :D
Ash Hardell I honestly don't know if I'm trans non binary or a boy or girl at times (forgot what it's called) love you by the way
It made my smile for the first time today and it's 11 pm in my country, I love this video, I'm nonbinary too.
Ahhh this video made me so happy!!! It was such open, honest and welcoming video
ash i love you so much thank you
Hay Ash, I have a question. Have you ever meet a person that doesn't care what pronouns you and any buddy else calls them, because I don't know if I'm nonbinary, gender fluid, or something else.
Nonbinary, born 1970. 👋🏻
I got teary-eyed watching these beautiful, eloquent people. Thank you all so much!
@Kali well I'm gonna have to thank both you and Lexica510 for being here and paving the way, in part, for me. I'm an enby/genderqueer 2000's kid.
My father was born in 1970 as well, only he clearly made something of himself instead of going off the deep end.
Cool! My dad, born just before you, is also non binary!
Elaina Smith how is he your “dad” then
Pink Panther that’s just what I call them.
It’s hard to find older lgb role models, but trans ones and especially nonbinary elders sometimes don’t seem to exist. This video made me day. Thank you
I ruined your 666 likes
•PeachiiTea• HOW DARE YOU KILL SATAN! XD
supercrazypurplegurl That’s because “non-binary” was invented in the last 10 years, with unprecedented new presentations to gender clinics. older people making this claim are outliers. It will go out of fashion like hippy, punk, goth, punk and emo did.
@@xbduf4gb ok transphobe
yeah i agree
At the LGBTQ Youth Organization I've worked with for 5 years, I met a nonbinary adult for the very first time. They're in their 40s and have a kid. With tears in my eyes, I told them that they showed me that I could be nonbinary AND an adult. That I could live to experience it for myself. That "nonbinary" and "adult" weren't mutually exclusive. It was life changing for me.
ChandlerNWilson What did the person look like? Be honest now.
all of you boys and girls are so melodramatic
@@BDMcN-vo8op Good thing we're neither, huh? 💚😉
Thank you for your work ❤️
Is that different from being androgynous?
I cried so hard while watching this. I didn’t even realise how hard it is to fight the “transtrender” image all the time and hearing that there are older people who have been going through the same thing and have lived through it was so impactful.
Jordan van Steenderen What’s impactful is homelessness, youth suicide, poverty, climate change, corporate greed, corruption. Get to grips with some real issues.
Britney Biedscheid no it’s not, just don’t forget the real issues.
@@xbduf4gb These are real issues.
Alx Why are you being a bigot on all these comments? Go away. Why are you even on this video in the first place?Are you just here to show off how close-minded you can be?
Ikr? We need to stop gatekeeping trans identities.
I just LOVE how Kate talked about how Non-binary is a cis paradox and how the formation of this identity is about change WHILE WEARING A 13TH DOCTOR COSPLAY.
Absolutely brilliant.
Yuval Nehemia Cis is a term from molecular biology. Please stop misappropriating it.
@@xbduf4gb trans is also used in molecular chemistry and biological. Cis and trans are opposing terms which makes it an appropriate comparison to use in terms of gender.
Hey if ya don’t mind me asking, what does cis mean and how do you pronounce it exactly? I’m sorry I’m just not educated on this
@@your_local_fander3702 Most people seem to pronounce it 'sis' like a shortened version of sister. It means someone who identifies with the gender they were assigned at birth. It is often seen as the opposite to transgender (which includes non-binary people too).
The Doctor is nonbinary, it is official
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! I was born 1967 and I am non-binary!
So was my dad but why should i believe you
@Litz Nice 👌
Omni Chrome yikes
@@Cat-es7fc shut up
Omni Chrome I was born in 2006 and non-binary
"language is finally catching up to gender actualities"
that's such an awesome quote. next time someone tries to tell me we're just making new terms up i'm gonna tell them exactly that.
same here
Is 'ish' still a thing as a pronoun? They all use 'they' them' pronouns but I thought I read that sometimes.. Sorry for asking, I'm not an anglophone and just catching up on vocab :)
The 70 year old person is wearing the 13 th’s doctors outfit with a blond bob and I am living for genderqueer doctor who
themonsterfrombird box and the TARDIS tattoo hhhhhhhh the best person
When I saw that I was like HHHHHHHHHHHHH xD
I NOTICED THIS TOO AND I GASPED!! HOW AMAZING, I AM SO JEALOUS OMG
Saaaaaaaaaame I geeked out for a sec when I saw them
😁😁😁😁😁😁 YESSSSS THEY ARE AMMMMMAAAAAAAAZZZZZZIIIIINNNNNNNNG
Hi, I'm 55 and I'm nonbinary. Thanks for making this video!
Looooove!!! :)
none business seems pretty real to me, maybe inspect your upbringing and what you’ve been told to believe and maybe you’ll find that you’ve been brainwashed? As a non-binary person myself who has literally studied the history of gender, I think science has a little more knowledge here than you do :)
none business hilarious how you say it is only the youth where this video and this comment you are replying to specifically shows people of older ages being non-binary as well. But as your handle suggests anyway, I guess this is ‘none business’ of yours. :)
none business hahaha hard to be a troll when everyone keeps deleting your hard earned work!
none business Ah, found one.
so tell me.
why come here, on a video about non-binary stuff? Maybe you came to try and understand them? that is a valid excuse.
however, why go into comments, telling people that they’re wrong, and giving no real arguments or proof?
Maybe you’re a troll, maybe you just hate things you don’t understand.
What is your motive?
Thank you for doing this video. I'm 42 years old, non-binary, preferring to have no pronouns at all rather than use the more common "they/them". I am on a low dose of testosterone, preparing to have top surgery in July, and I always felt transmasculine, but not necessarily fully male, so when I first learned the new language for genderqueer/non-binary identities, it just clicked as what I felt. I've identified as non-binary/genderqueer for nearly a decade, since I learned the language to describe what I already felt.
23-year-old nb butch, how does not having pronouns work? Would one just use your name instead?
@@drustanastrophel9538 not to be a person that puts convenience over respecting other people's identities, but I have the same questions...
@@drustanastrophel9538 Yes, that's exactly the idea. Just use my name rather than any pronouns. It can get a bit clunky if you're having to do it a LOT at one time, but generally, it's not too hard to do.
B.C. What’s wrong with they them though?
@@lilactheruevet2424 nothing, B.C just said that it wasnt prefered pronouns :) not that anything is wrong with they/them pronouns.
My dad is non binary. I love to see people like them represented!
Elaina Smith much love 💚
they use "dad" ? nb parent language is confusing lol
Envy May yeah it can be.
@@sabrinagranger5468 I feel that a lot, with not minding more feminine kinship terms but hating the idea of *female.* Tbh tho for me it probably has something to do with the fact that my first language (the language my whole family speaks, hence the kinship thing) doesn't have gendered pronouns (we have ones that refer to physical sex, but they're not used unless it's actually relevant to the conversation) so my brain automatically converts all pronouns to neutral, but then I'm like "no wait that means they think of me as female ew" and it's just all around difficult.
I always lived with not feeling right about things. I was never as feminine as my sisters or female friends. I wanted just to be me. Not only male, or just female. Just me, however that felt, on any day.
I am 59 and nonbinary. It has been quite a journey to find some comfort in my gender. The term nonbinary in itself did not exist till 5 years ago or so, but I knew I am not a man or a woman for a long time. I owe to transgender people for letting me see that I don't have to identify with my biological sex, and at the same time they let me realize that I am not the "opposite gender" to my biological sex. This was in the 90's when so many transgender people came out of LGB community. Until then I believed that I was a lesbian just because the idea of biological determinism was so solid and unbreakable in my and most people's consciousness.
I feel human collective consciousness is coming to loosen up more on fixed polarized idea of gender recently and am so glad that this is happening.
Thank you for creating and posting this video!
www.deviantart.com/pride-flags/gallery/55983130/xenogenders break the binary
I’m 67 and I’ve always been a nonbinary.
A they/them since birth.
Always had an androgynous appearance; deliberately so.
Loved it when form fillers had to ask m or f. Wanted to say both! Neither! I am me, dammit! I’m different! I hate Aristotelian thinking if it’s not black, it’s white. if you’re not a Man U r a woman that locks me into one and locked me out of the other it’s still difficult but it’s a little easier now, especially since we do have the words, and there is a little box down there that says nonbinary.Puts a big smile on my face every time that I see it. sail on good ship nonbinary and all aboard that’s coming aboard!
There's only man and woman for all history of humanity you just want to be special, but you're just insane
It's not a phase and IF it is, that's ok. Your fiquring out you identity.
Right? I was sent to a gender therapist at 16 when some genetic tests showed I was intersex and it was no big deal. We talked about gender, my identity, my sexuality, etc etc. for a few sessions, and came away with a better understanding of myself and with the conclusion that I'm a cis woman. Whoopdie doo, big deal. Let people explore things and don't judge.
This is SO important
Yep
You’re*
This. This is the thing so many people don't get. Even if it's "just a phase", the feelings felt are so real and often very painful. I remember that for years I couldn't stand looking at my body in tight or 'feminine' clothes and how I hunched over as for people to not see my chest. Because I felt unseen. I felt reduced and limited and misunderstood and I once was told by a person at the café I worked at who complimented me on my androgyny that I looked at the world with such a pained expression in my eyes and I almost broke down then. Because I felt seen for the first time. And not scolded or just commented on for what I wore or how I cut my hair like many others did. And that's what compassion can do. I remember how I started watching Ash's videos and seeing their progress (I hope I'm not using the wrong pronouns, I haven't watched this channel in a while!) and also the kindness even if things are hard and it gave me so much hope for myself. And today I feel okay with who I am and that's why people like Ash are so important. Love, kindness and compassion are so much needed in this world and it will always be like this.
As someone who has a nb grandparent this is amazing to see! I call them my granny and they’re just about to turn 73 in a few months. It made me so happy to see this beautiful video. It’s truly hard to see older NB/Trans people. Thank you so much for making this video, it’s truly amazing to see a representation of older NB folk ☺️❤️
❤️
My(I think 40ish year old) cousin recently told me they’re NB and as a teen NB person it was really nice to know about that and know I have an older NB person actually in my life
Finally, a non-binary person who got chest reduction rather than top surgery 👏🏾👏🏾 I want chest reduction
I'm enby & just scheduled mine!!
@@bennettcafarelli7066 awesome!!!
I'm non-binary and for a long time I felt that I "had" to get full top surgery to be valid. But... Seeing that I can get a reduction but not get rid of them entirely... It's helpful. Thank you for sharing!
I'm non binary and had a breast lift without reduction (I had a lot of loose skin from losing weight and breastfeeding and it caused a lot of dysphoria.) Sometimes I really regret not getting the reduction/removal altogether. I gain a lot of weight in my chest, so when I'm trying to gain muscle I inevitably gain a cup size. Super frustrating, but I'm working on losing weight now. I'm hoping to retain some muscle tone while losing.
Same!!!! I thought i wanted top surgery for a while, but now I'm thinking maybe i just want my breasts to be smaller, and not completely gone.
Thanks 🙏🏼... I’m 42 & I’m non-binary
Wow for real? I’m actually trans & non-binary... I had no idea about the magic 42 age! It’s really odd cause I used to look & dress like a boy since I was 4 years old until I was 7 & only answered to a males name that I chose! Growing up I just thought I was a lesbian since I didn’t know that it was possible for me to transition! I used to be a drag king in my 30’s & it never accrued to me that I am trans! Only this year that I met my friend’s boyfriend FTM & it really made a lot of sense of how I was feeling. It was the missing piece of the puzzle sort of speak! I’m much happier in a way but there is a lot of struggle at the beginning & my lesbian partner isn’t really happy with it but if she can’t accept which is understandable then I have to look for my own happiness!
funkyfreak77 Isnt it about time you gave up on all this nonsense?
AminTheMystic what is your problem? I’m sharing my story. If you have nothing positive to say please don’t comment. Peace out!
You are become life, the universe and ever- _Ah._ Someone already referenced it! Very good!
@Kali "Turning 42 is the only thing I'm looking forward to about aging 😁
"
Merlin's beard, _yes._
I'm a 30+ agender person and I'm just now in the process of coming out and exploring my own identity. Thank you for this.
I'm Agender too! But I'm only 17, I'm glad there's a word for how I feel. It's helpful to see people who are Agender and an adult. Have a good day:)
I think you're actually lost in your identity.
"agender" man or woman leftovers nobody wants to marry
What is ur pronouns
@@dezimonae1214 I think you're never going to understand. Don't say someone is lost when they say they ARE agender. Don't understand it? be respectful
As a NB "elder" (33,) I'm so glad that the younger generations are better able to identify their gender identities and have them be more accepted and understood than I experienced as a youngling.
I have seen the culture around gender change drastically over the last ten years. *proud tears* It gives me hope for the next ten years.
I am 75 years old and just came out as nonbinary this summer. I attended a talk by Kate Bornstein back in the 90s and interviewed Sandra Bem about androgyny and gender salience back in the 70s. I always knew I had a strange relationship with gender, but didn't know how to define it until recently. I am finding more elder genderqueer and nonbinary people on and offline now. We are here.
I'm watching this with THE BIGGEST SMILE in my face, and misty eyes too.
Thanks y'all.
~a 34yo enby
I'm just thinking about when I'm the 70 year old non-binary person sharing my story hopefully i can say that we made it better over the next 50 years
OmraPhantom same 💕
@@HeyThere005 you're on it already! I'm just the mama of an nb, and you are a great source of information and inspiration for them and myself. You are doing holy work, encouraging people to embrace the way Gd made them. Bless you! 💚
"I'm 40 **COUGH COUGH** years old."
Sorry, I couldn't resist 😂
That part cracked me up😂😂
Ok but this actually made me cry.
Being told you don't have to choose a side is radical. Trying to figure out which box you fit in is exhausting. The comment about not knowing how to map your own future and not having visible elders but they are there really touched my heart.
There are no sides. You’re just Giving yourself a sexist label
@@xz740 ..
I freaking love the 70 year old. They even have a tattoo of a tardis and I relate a lot to them
She would have fought a hard battle to be accepted as a MTF transsexual.
@@xz740 ......
Is it just me or is Jeffrey Marsh's voice like SUPER nice and calming? Anyway I like it.
I love Jeffery, and yeah their voice is so soothing
im convinced jeffrey is actually an angel in human form tbh
Fr.
ues, his voice really is lovely.
I know right ! 😍
Literally the best 70-year-old person I have ever listened to... Like what!? I love this!
This video was awesome. Good job!
They rock!
AGREEEEED
I know!!! Most of the old people I know are absolute douches and extremely homophobic. I know they weren't thought about lgbt+ folks but THEY HAD LIKE 20 YEARS TO LEARN
Kate is one of the best people to have ever existed! I absolutely love them and how they’ve lived their life so openly. Such a strong, amazing person. Truly inspiring
As a straight white male I came here for education. I have very little knowledge of this, and I felt it was time to change that. I have a guest coming up on my podcast and want to make them as comfortable as possible, and not let my ignorance possibly hurt feelings or be little their voice. Thank you so so much for videos like this. You all are beautiful and your voices are being heard 🥰
Insanity is diversity, that's all you need
As a bent colourful gimp I came here to be used and abused and hopefully humiliated.
I am 36 years young and people always seem shocked to find out that I'm just really figuring myself out at the age of 36. So this video helped me a lot. Especially since I'm having a hard time right now just dealing with a lot of emotions and stress in my life. So thank you for making this video.
I’m 31 and have only started to accept that I’m gender non-conforming over the last few years, first landing at non-binary but as of very recently I’ve discovered agender which is SO me. Looking back on what I can remember of growing up I always felt genderless / rejected gendered stereotypes at least till puberty and the violence of being socialised as a woman began and I internalised the male gaze. Trying to untangle and deconstruct what is patriarchy / gender norms and what is actually truely me has been gruelling but it gives me hope to see people that I see myself in who are older than I am, which very rarely happens.
im cis but im so glad you make these videos because hey're so educational and inspiring
Same
Yes
Same
We love a good ally
💕Same💕
I have a 50 year old God parent that is NB! They are the best
@Jake Dean Why are they the best? They are an amazing human in general who helped me come out to my parents and they are an insanely talented concert photographer.
@Franco Cavalli did you even watch the video? Also cultures have been using similar terms for centuries. Are you calling native americans- who had two-spirit (third gender option) mentally ill? If so you are incredibly racist, transphobic, and unintelligent.
@Franco Cavalli yo why are you so obsessed with genders we get it you don't believe in it you don't have to shout it to the world we don't care like at all
@Franco Cavalli good for you now that you said that can you leave why the hell are you watching this video in the first place wait dont answer that I just want you gone
@Franco Cavalli why are you so obsessed with your opinion on just saying there is no reason for you to boast your opinion to people who obviously don't agree with it especially in a comment section of a a video with a bunch of people who don't agree with your opinion
When I was in college, a friends' grandparent came out as non-binary at the age of 83. It's never, ever too late.
42y/o AMAB Trans NB! Love this video, thx Ash!
“I don’t care what pronouns you use as long as you meet me with positivity”. ~ this is a paraphrased Rain Dove quote, that I absolutely adore and identify with.
Haha I loved when they said that! So great! And don’t worry, I reported that troll. Ignore them.
@@thedarknessofnana i was going to reply to them but if they've been reported already ok.
have a nice day
*this comment seems so useless i can't--*
_ignore how useless this reply is. please._
So I'm glad I watched this. It made me realize how important it is for non-binary people to make themselves known. I didn't really consider how new the term "non-binary" is, which put things in perspective. While I may not identify as non-binary (I don't feel the term is appropriate for my experience), I am so happy to see these people owning the term and rocking their authenticity. TBH I would love to sit down and grab tea with all of these people, just to learn more about their stories.
Heck yeah! I was born in 1985 and I was never binary, but I didn't have the language to describe my experience until my late twenties.
That's pretty much my experience too (although I figured it out when I was older than you.) There's scaremongering about an "epidemic" of "nonbinaryism" or "rapid-onset gender dysphoria" but I think it's actually all of us looking around and going "...wait, there's a word for this? Other people feel this too??"
I always knew I was different. But like you I didn't have words for it till I was order and once I had the words it's made identifying as binary really uncomfortable.
what did you use before then?
@@lexica510 the-orbit.net/zinniajones/2013/09/that-was-dysphoria-8-signs-and-symptoms-of-indirect-gender-dysphoria/ i think this is what caused ROGDs. because you know, someone writing about something and not being a doctor is really helpful, and it's not like those symptoms are comorbid with anything else. so if i was feeling those, i'm transgender, and it's not from my bipolar or something else right?
lexica510 The number of people presenting to the Tavistock Clinic in London has increased by 4000% in the past 10 years, of whom 80% are female. This occurred since the promotion of “gender fads” on social media. These are predominantly females who reported no gender issues during childhood (Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria). 95% of children who claim to be non-binary grow out of it.
Omg Pidgeon!! I feel like I haven't seem them here on RUclips in forever! I'm glad to see them here on your video! :)
I just want to say how much I appreciate your fantastic videos. I'm cis/ace but I watch these more for my child who is smart, kind, creative, funny, non-binary, and absolutely amazing. I want to always be there in a way that is supportive and compassionate, so I watch to learn and to broaden my understanding as much as possible. This video just brought a huge smile to my face from start to finish. Thank you!
Amy Kitchens You are female. You are not “cis”., which is a biochemistry term to describe the position of two molecules.
Alx They meant cisgender when they said cis. Cisgender is basically a person whose Sex and gender match up. Of course, you wouldn’t have known that, based off the other replies I’ve seen from you
Hello from another cis mama with a non-binary kid! 💚
@Miss Naomi 613 hey there! I’m not a mom nor do i completely identify as cis, but how ya doin?💜
I identify as Non Binary , I started binging my chest when I was only 13 years old. I had no idea what binding was, so I wore bathing suits under my clothes to school to flatten my chest. When I got too old to get away with wearing bathing suits under my clothes every day, I doubled tight sports bras. Eventually someone introduced me to the Ace wrap bandages, and then finally real binders! I've been binding for 15 years. I have never felt fully female or male since I was young. I have been saving up for Top Sugrery for a long time, and still have a ways to go. But no matter who you are , or how you identify, you are valid! Don't let people tell you it's a phase, or discriminate against you. Even when it comes from our own lgbt+ community. 🌈❤
X Z Another one, i see.
so tell me.
Why come here, on a video about non-binary stuff? Maybe you came to try and understand them? that is a valid excuse.
however, why go into comments, telling people that they’re wrong, and giving no real arguments or proof?
Maybe you’re a troll, maybe you just hate things you don’t understand, or perhaps you think you can change people with just a few simple words?
What is your motive?
Horror Error Sans This is a public forum. The public are free to provide their perspective.
Same for me, I had never heard about anyone else who was non-binary (or what ever words existed back then) when growing up, and was trying to invent clever diy ways to bind lol. I only got a real binder and a name change couple of years ago, after divorcing my ex-girlfriend. I guess she was always trying to convince me I was actually a woman, even though I didn't really realise it back then.
*with happy tears in my eyes*
It was your channel, Ash, that helped me, a nearly 50 year old, realize my non-binary identity just over 4 months ago! My warmest gratitude to you for that. Every person in this video echoes my own experiences & feelings & all I want to do is hug every one of you all & say “thank you, I love you” 💕
Congratulations! 😊
"I'm fort-" *cough cough* "..years old" is such a mood LOL thanks for the laugh 😂
I have absolutely 0 experience with anything outside of being a cis human but goodness NB people are some of the strongest folks I've ever met!
I'd say people with chronic illnesses are stronger
Atlantis J. Ditto!!!
@Kali No, that's alright! No offense taken :)
@@misty8915 I don't know if you can really quantify strength, I'd say that there are lots of groups of people who are strong. Doens't mean NB people are any less perseverant than them!
It’s not a race for #1. The comment said “some of the strongest”. Recognizing their strength doesn’t take something away from yours.
This touched something deep inside of me. I’m a 27 y/o genderqueer person who isn’t completely out yet (only a select few know) but this was so affirming and encouraging to be more open. Thank you so much!
This give me hopes to become an adult as a nonbinary person. It's scary being sixteen and nonbinary not knowing if a future can be made as a nonbinary person. But watching this video and seeing the comments of older nonbinary people inspires me to continue on and be true to my identity as I grow older. Thank you ash.
It's 2022, I'm 50+ years old, and I just had top surgery. It's taken this long because as the wonderful folks above said, I had no language growing up to help me identify. I remember struggling with not feeling like a boy, even though I dressed masculine, and not feeling like a girl, even though I was born as such. I was just "me". The gender dysphoria is real for non-binary folks too. It took years of denial, a failed marriage, then society's growing acceptance of the LGBTQ community to finally understand and come to terms with myself. Watching Ash's and other younguns' videos about top surgery finally got the wheels turning in that direction and I'm SO happy now! Elders may have paved the way, but sometimes it takes the youth to shine the light on the road to self discovery.
Thank you for sharing your story, Ash. You, and others in your generation, helped me grow and finally fully become myself. I wish you luck and happiness as you continue your journey.
Ash, Thank You SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Much for putting in all of the work to edit this together. I know how much work video editing is. It takes a lot of time, patience, and energy. Thank you for that. And thank you so much for reaching out to the wonderful humans. Several of them are some of my favorite people! The rest were new people to me and were great to hear from. And thank you to everyone who participated.
I cannot find the words to really explain how much I truly and deeply appreciate this video. It is so validating. And it helps me feel less alone in this. Today has been such a rough day, after such a difficult and overwhelming week. I've been dissociating a lot and really feeling down. I finally had a new treatment option get offered to me for a hormonal issue I have been dealing with for years, that drastically affects my mental health. So I had this great hope, and then my insurance denied the claim and I don't have $500 to pay for it out of pocket. So I've been feeling really down and had a bad trigger in therapy. It's just been rough. So this was such a breath of fresh air and has me crying grateful tears because it has been such a difficult journey with this non-binary stuff and always feeling out of place. It was really nice to have all of these voices in one place and to not feel alone. Thank you
I wish all the people who call me a "special snowflake" could understand all the things said in this video. This video shows extremely well that non binary isn't some sort of Tumblr trend as most people think. Keep making these amazing, educational and open minded videos because this truly makes a positive difference to all people - whether helping people struggling with dysphoria, discrimination, questioning gender etc. or people who are now more aware of the diversity in this world and how beautiful it is. Thank you to everyone who contributed to this video! ❤️
It's literally the new emo
@@thearcadegamer8128 wdym by that
jamie they're saying its a trend and a phase... But its not
The More Things Change y i k e s, that ain't it, chief 🤣
www.deviantart.com/pride-flags/gallery?q=uranus because some of them make things like this.
Aww💙💛💜🖤 as a young genderqueer person, this is really validating
agreed
It's pretty great as an older genderqueer too
Yah same here
I'm 43, assigned male at birth, and have spent most of my life hiding both from others and myself. I'm also on the autism spectrum so I never felt like I fit into the "norm". I got beat up and teased really bad growing up so I tried to make myself as tough and bad ass as possible to feel safe and scare others away. I've always known that I didn't feel entirely like a man but didn't feel like a woman either. It wasn't until recently that I even had the language to describe myself. Before I understood what nonbinary was I just described my self as a man with a really big feminine side that I hid deep deep down. Now I identify as masculine nonbinary and use he/they pronouns. I am really grateful to the younger generation for bringing these conversations to the spotlight and for the brave pioneers that started the conversation.
I will be 33 next month. I'm married to an amazing man and have 3 beautiful children. I've just recently come out as genderfluid. We come in all ages, shapes, sizes, races, etc. It's never too late to be YOU
I have never been able to see myself as an enby adult even though I’m 18 now. This really has made me feel I can grow up. Thank you!
Thank you for this awesome video from a 30 year old enby.
Holy shit I needed this. I feel like a dinosaur when I watch trans-related YT videos even though I'm only in my mid 30s. Thank you, Ash!
every once in a while, i come back to this video and watch it again. just to remind myself that i can have a future as myself, where i don't have to pretend and hide anymore.
same here
How did this come out at just the perfect time in my life. I IDed as nb before I transitioned (MtF) and stopped identifying that way and felt kind of miserable. Now I'm trying to relearn that I don't subscribe to any kind of binary, and that my transition isn't indicative of needing to. Even though I went through this process, I'm still not required to feel female 100% of the time.
Shout out to Natalie Wynn for retweeting this, allowing me to see it!
Natalie deserves all the shoutouts, let be real here😅😅
www.deviantart.com/pride-flags/gallery/55983130/xenogenders so....this is how you gender?
What does "feeling female" feel like? What is not “subscribing to any sort of binary”? You mean you are someone who lives in society who doesn’t like sexist sex roles (like most people) and are possibly feminine for a man and so think you have to change yourself instead of changing sexist social sex roles.
@@xz740 You see, this what I don't understand about the way you think. Can you really not comprehend what Gender Dysphoria is? 'Cause we'll try to explain it to you politely and with patience.
Gender Dysphoria is not a fad. It's not sexist gender stereotypes that we're trying to cure by changing our bodies.
You are comfortable in your own skin, yes? Course, you might have insecurities about how you look or how you act, but that body feels YOURS, right? With all the flaws in your life, it's still you?
Yeah. That's the problem with gender dysphoria. It's like regular body dysphoria, but specifically about the physical and social aspects of being your birth sex. Your body... doesn't feel like it belongs to you. So if a person was born female, they would not feel like themselves being seen as a woman or be comfortable with their sex characteristics. Those breasts would feel alien. It's disturbing and upsetting, to say the least. So you can understand why someone would want to surgically change their bodies to find relief from that almost constant feeling of not fitting right under your skin.
Therapy should not focus on trying to cure you of "thinking you're the opposite sex". No, they've tried that and it has never truly worked. We go to therapy to sort out our worries, complex feelings, and traumas related to being trans and nonbinary. And also the insecurities of not being able to pass without subscribing to the sexist gender norms should often get worked through but not always. So yeah.
@@sagehoff969 Did you read my post? Where does it say that I think "gender dysphoria is a fad"? Gender dysphoria is a medical condition associated with depression and anxiety and requires medical treatment. What is a fad is people coming along and seeing how popular it is to call oneself a so- called different gender as part of popular culture. This is evident by the terms people use such as “I identitfy as” such and such. Identifying as an entity is not being that entity. People with gender dyphoria experience themselves inherently as having gender issues not merely “ identifying” as something.
Ash, you are a wonderful person. Never forget that, you have helped me so much, you are an inspiration 😊🖤
💙💜💙 I need to watch this every morning. As an older non-binary it’s empowering and wonderful to know that I’m not the only one who came out later in life.
I don't have a 30+ nb rolemodel, but I hope to become my own 💕
You are awesome! 💚
@@interp156 well, familiar how so
this video just made me cry my eyes out I swear (I'm sure drinking half a bottle of wine this evening, also added to those tears lol)
9:31 I really feel this part, it is super emotionally draining to trying to correct people, or educate people on my gender identity, it really is too much sometimes it just makes me wanna stay home and never be social again.
10:08 is where I started balling my eyes out, because same, I will probably always be misgendered, every day, for the rest of my life too. and that really just hurts, but I know everything will be ok.
11:41 this end part where everyone reminded me everything will be ok, really, really helped me collect my emotions right now after such a cathartic cry
Thank you so much! It really melted my heart, we do all need each other. I am non-binary, born 1979. A happy parent of two fierce queens. Love!
Always a fan. You bring in so much positivity. Love you Ash. 💗
I love ur username 😉
@@ghost8974 😏😏😏💗
omg is Kate dressed as the 13th doctor 😍
I thought so too!! And has a TARDIS tattoo as well!! Hoopy!
theyre so fuckin cool, not that into doctor who anymore but kate is an icon theyre badass
I noticed they had a tardis BUT I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT
Kate is a huge Doctor Who fan!! They’re so great 💚
Their pronoun is "Doctor" 😂
As an older human just figuring out that my feelings have a name, this video was life changing for me. Thank you to everyone that gave wisdom, time, and insight to this piece. I feel so much less alone.
This definitely gave me some amazing warm and comforting feelings, thank you so much ash just for putting out so much positivity and love into the world. The quote “I knew but didn’t have language” is exactly how I feel about being genderqueer. It was truly like finding a piece to the puzzle like they said. I have felt pretty alone and just all around invalid about my identity because I am comfortable with a myriad of pronouns but I suppose that is internalization I will continue to work through! This video gave me immense peace and validation. Thank you to everyone being so loving and supportive of each other in the comment section as well, hope you all have a lovely day!
Just last week i finally admitted to myself that i'm non binary after many years of hating myself because i was "not being able to pick one", and i think you've definitely played a part in me accepting myself, this is a super wonderful video that makes me love being enby even more, i love you
This is probably gunna be a long comment but here I go lol. Ash, and everyone else thanks for this video. I rlly appreciate it. I'm about halfway through and I actually started tearing up. For years I've always felt so alone and like a freak. There were times I wanted to end my life. Not because of being trans but also because of being transgender nonbinary. I hated being nonbinary. I wished I could be a trans guy because in some ways transitioning can be more straightforward. Nonbinary it's tricky because u don't want to be seen as completely male or female. But, maybe u just want a little bit of each gender, ect. It varies. I'm 22 years old but seeing these older ppl rlly makes me emotional. Especially an actual gender therapist being visible as nonbinary. Screw these toxic ppl who spread hate or talk crap about u. You're an amazing human being and cover a lot of good topics in your videos. You're good at explaining too. Thanks for all u so, Ash. Keep being amazing. 😁🤗
I am extremely glad that RUclips recommended this video to me recently. Lately, I've been struggling with dysphoria and the weight of being misgendered multiple times, daily (sometimes even being blatantly dead-named, too). I was being hard on myself because my peers (who are cisgender) weren't struggling in the same way. I really needed to hear the reassuring words of everyone in this video, because I feel like I can be myself unapologetically and remember that I'm staying true to myself. We're here, we exist, and I couldn't be happier about that. Thank you
Just started coming out as Non-Binary at 48, when I have known I have been this way since I was 7. Thank you for this. It is a great way to be supportive with those who are older and coming to terms with the truth of themselves. 🖤
Thank you for sharing this. I'm 31, and non-binary, and it's been a struggle for me to take myself seriously. The words of encouragement and acceptance means more than I can convey. Thank you.
Born 1966 and I am nonbinary. Great vid and thank you.
All these folx are so effin eloquent!
I enjoyed listening to all of them so much. Kind of tearing up because of the shared pain AND joy, the validation of my feelings and fears and also the very empowering words...
Ash, thank you for giving a platform to these people!
(Really loved the background music).
how do you prononce that? the x part. it's not how we prononce the x in Chinese langauges right? or is it like chi/key? or the letter?
Omg I'm so happy 😭 While I was watching this my mom knocked on my door and called me Ace instead of my birth name-
This video was super impactful for me. I just realized I'm NB a few weeks ago at 27, and I was afraid that coming into it so late meant I might as well ignore it. Now I feel empowered to come out to my friends, and maybe even my family. Thank you.
Good luck to you! ❤️
When i came out my grandma basically told me she felt like me and if she were my age she douleur probably do similar things. She is realy supportive regardant my queerness and my disbalities ! ♥
Thank you being an awesome human and showing other humans that non-binary people exists no matter the generation they belong to and that those people older than me (I’m 22) are valid in the way they feel
Hey ash wanted to just say that your such an inspirational human being and have encouraged me to become more myself
Kali it’s a song by echo Gillette called awkward raisin I recommend it I just thought it was funny
Kali Yep I’ve had weirder
Kali you to ik there are some WEIRD people out there
Kali I’ll be there dreamin with you
I feel like I just gained a bunch of supportive enby parents or older cousins 💜💛🖤
We did. Enbies are all family. I'm your sibling now, no takey backey.
@@e.s.lavall9219 enby family > blood family
I will be all y’alls enby dad. I got you
This binary ftm loves you and supports you🖤
🤗
Thank you for this. I didn't realize how much I needed this.
I'm 34 and discovered/realized I was non-binary at 31, right near the beginning of the pandemic, and its so great to see other people being out as their authentic selves and I love you all
Ash! This video is epic. So important. So needed. So generous. Felt like a cuddle for my heart watching this. I was nodding along the whole time. Thank you to you, and your guests, for seeing me. Much love from a 36 y/o genderless human x
The older person looks like jodie whitaker (13th doctor) and they have a dr who tattoo !! Ahh these people are all beautiful 😍
I thought so too! I immediately got 13th doctor vibes from them
Hi Ash, just wanted to say Ive been dealing with PTSD all on my own for almost a year now. Your videos have been such an important light that have helped me through.
I hope you have a wonderful life. And that you stay positive!
The key to happiness is through your thoughts, think positive!
"And just because we're getting more attention now, doesn't mean that we just arrived on the scene." This!
Stumbled on this today and I am so grateful. Thank you for this comfort.
It's a long and continuing journey to step into yourself. I'm am so grateful to see a world where these open, honest, and loving sentiments can be shared.
I clicked so fast !!! Been waiting for this video and I know & follow most of these lovely ppl (excited to find more to follow!!) and seeing them makes me feel so seen & validated in my identity 😭🖤 thank you for making this
I am 44 and I am nonbinary. First time ever saying this, but always knew this. Ash and guest, thanks for this, I have been so scared to my authentic self and I have felt this is a young movement and I dont have the courage to step up and say this is who I am, but seeing this fellow nonbinary friends I feel stronger to step up and be free.
Okay I know I haven’t watched this video yet but I love Ash’s jacket!!! The embroidery is so cute!!
Thank you, Ash. I’m a 34, almost 35, year old Enby and I’ve been needing a video like this.
OK BUT ALL OF THEM LOOK SO NICE FOR THEIR AGE I CANT
Thank you so much for making this. I'm a (very) late 40s non-binary person, who, like many of the people in this video, always kind of knew, but only discovered the words a few years ago. It's hard sometimes when you tell someone you're NB, and the response is "isn't that just some trend the kids are doing?" It's so affirming to see so many older NB people, both in your video and in the comments, and know we really are everywhere, it's just we weren't talked about before.
as a young enby this is really interesting to watch!!!
Yes, my enby friend ash is awesome!!
Very much the same here.
Kali thank you so much!!! I’m so glad you’re happy with yourself, and that must have been a tough journey to discover yourself (I know mine was!) so I’m rly proud of u and I hope you’re doing great!! ❤️
Kali ❤️💗💓💘💝💖💕💞❤️🏳️🌈
Same
Every single video I've watched of yours I've cried... it's so hard to find someone so inclusive and open to help others understand just because you're not considered into a "social norm", theres still nothing wrong with you. Thank you so much for this whole channel and everything you've done for others to make them feel valid..
I've just found this video because I am a nonbinary person who is 50 years old and only realised that I'm NB in the last year or two. I was 47 when I realised I was aroace (like so many people, have always been this way, but I simply didn't have the language to describe my experience before that), and the freedom that knowledge brought empowered me to explore other aspects of my identity, hence landing on nonbinary. Most of the NB people I see on social media are much younger than myself, and it's so lovely to see so many people of different ages and experiences represented here. Thank you to all of the wonderful, amazing humans who shared their experiences here, and thank you Ash!
I need that enby symbol necklace... or an agender version of it...
This is exactly the positive, encouraging and inspiring content I needed today. Thanks Ash and friends!
Thank you so much for this Ash, and everyone in it! I watched this a year ago and it was amazing, and rewatching it is even more validating. I needed this so much. Thank you. My uncle is non-binary too and I really look up to them! They came out as gay when they were fifty, and then later we figured out our gender identities together. I am very lucky to have them :D
I'm 33 years old and I needed to hear this today. I just got like a wave of validation, I forgot how good that feels.
I know I'm late to this video - but thank you! I'm literally crying cause I'm nearly 40 years old, just found out I'm non-binary only recently and I feel seen!
I'm on a journey to myself with all the self-doubt and euphoria. But to have lived over decates seen as gender XX makes the change so hard. I doubt I will come out to everyone I know... Luckily, my husband is supportive and my child young enough to naturally accept it.
"There is nothing wrong with you!" was something I needed to hear today! ❤
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this. I had no idea how much I needed to hear this and it brings me to tears. Just thank you.
We are valid. We exist.
Sup! 👋 I'm nonbinary, 1977
I just want to add, these people are amazing and their stories are full and important, thank you for this 💚