Identity: A Trans Coming Out Story | Philosophy Tube ★
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- Опубликовано: 6 июн 2024
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Starring Rhys Tees as 'The Man Who Isn't There' / @rhysplease
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BIBLIOGRAPHY:
Elizabeth Alexander, “Coming Out Blackened and Whole,” in American Literary History
Anansi’s Library, “Frantz Fanon, Blackness, and Gender Identity”
Cameron Awkward-Rich, “Thinking Black [Trans] Gender,” in American Quarterly
Talia Bettcher, “Trapped in the Wrong Theory: Rethinking Trans Oppression and Resistance,” in Signs
Christine Burns (ed.), Trans Britain
Kimberlé Crenshaw, “Demarginalising the Intersection of Race and Sex: A Black Feminist Critique of Antidiscrimination Doctrine, Feminist Theory and Antiracist Politics”
Rene Descartes, Meditations
Nancy Fraser, “Social Justice in the Age of Identity Politics: Redistribution, Recognition, Participation”
Michel Foucault, The History of Sexuality
Kai M. Green & Marquis Bey, “Where Black Feminist Thought and Trans* Feminism Meet: A Conversation,” in Souls
Eva Hayward, “More Lessons From Starfish: Prefixial Flesh and Transspeciated Selves,” in Women’s Studies Quarterly
Owen Jones, “Feminist icon Judith Butler on JK Rowling, trans rights, feminism and intersectionality”
John Locke, “Of Identity and Diversity,” in An Essay Concerning Human Understanding
Audre Lorde, “Learning from the 60s”
Audre Lorde, Zami: A New Spelling of My Name
Charles Mills, Blackness Visible
Mia Mulder, Transsexuals and Suffering
NikkieTutorials, “I’m Coming Out”
Juno Roche, Trans Power
Julia Serano, Whipping Girl
Sydney Shoemaker, “Persons and Their Pasts,” in American Philosophical Quarterly
C. Riley Snorton, Black on Both Sides
Dean Spade, Normal Life
Eric Stanley, “Anti-Trans Optics: Recognition, Opacity, and the Image of Force,” in South Atlantic Quarterly
G.F. Stout, Mind and Matter
Christine Tayleur, “Racism and Poverty in the Transgendered Community,” in Gendertrash
Sylvia Wynter, “Towards the Sociogenic Principle,” in National Identity and Sociopolitical Change
Keeanga-Yamatha Taylor (ed.), How We Get Free
George Yancy, “Black Trans Feminist Thought Can Set Us Free,” in Truthout
Original Music by Nina Richards - www.ninarichards.co.uk/
#Identity
You can see my coming out statement here ----> ruclips.net/video/FG-TrnwH4iQ/видео.html
love you Abi
Is this the payoff for the ending of Charles Darwin vs Karl Marx?
Great name choice and keep up the awesome work.
I'm so proud of you. Congratulations on the egg cracking, and as a fellow Trans-folk, I've got your back.
stoked for you, but pls dont remove your old videos, I love them.
hell yessss!@!!!!!
If you ever feel stupid, I discovered this channel yesterday and thought it was run by two different people
😄
I’m faceblind and would have thought the same had I not been here already
For what it's worth, IMO that's not entirely wrong.... from a certain point of view. (Was Darth Vader the same person as Anakin Skywalker? Or did he change so much that he was, from a certain point of view, a different person?)
I was watching the channel for a month now and I just discovered the truth lmao
lol, its the exact same for me
when abigail said "to paraphrase a great trans woman" and put her hand on her chest, i lowkey thought she was gonna quote herself
That would 100% be in her right
that would be very valid
Wasn’t it Natalye?
Yeah, she said "I ask myself 'do I feel like a man or do I feel like a woman?' And the answer is 'I feel like shit'"
That would have been legendary
Not trans but this vid did convince me to quit my job
Heyy, good for you!
Right on. 😅 Kinda made me think about my job too.
Real
Yeah... It make me think too, I think is time to take that step
nah cuz i read your comment before watching the vid and i took it as a simple joke but after watching the moment when she makes that comparation i was like i am not accepting the job i had last season it actually does make me miserable with every each letter of that word it makes me want to end it all and it kills 100% (literally 100%) of my social life so, I know her point wasn't that but it actually helped me so much. Also this is my first video of her and I am so so so happy I found this channel and look foward to watch many more vids!
“People did brave things in the trenches, but it’s no way to live.” That hits home
Now imagine living in the trenches, in the middle of a war, without realising that's where you are. For 30 years or more.
@@fuzzincedinnadon imagine comparing real struggle to your personal one
thats so disrespectful to all the people that experienced war
@@nullstate8117Imagine not understanding the difference between direct conflation and figurative analogy
thats so disrespectful to the concept of metaphorical speech and using poetic license to express life's difficulties
@@TrackpadProductions
not understanding consept of war :)
@@nullstate8117Well I didn't really ask you to prove my point even further but thanks for doing it anyways
Abby, we have a climate crisis, you can't be coming out as hot every time
THAT'S SO TRUE
AMEN
this comment wins
This comment made me snort with laughter. You win, because it's so true!
@@starpasta It did me too 😂
Lmao the bait and switch with natalie's iconic "do I feel like a man or a woman the answer is that I feel like shit"
Ey we have the same profile picture!
Yes! And witnessing the difference is somehow making happy itself
When she said “I feel happy”, I was like hang on, that’s not how it goes, is it? Lol
@Locke Dunnegan the horror
Woah, i completely forgot about that quote!
As a cis man, having heard about a man transitioning to being a woman, I couldn't quite wrap my head around, how this happens. I asked myself: "Can this happen to anyone? To myself? Is it predetermined at birth, puberty or does it just happen? Does it happen in a snap of a finger or does it grow over time?" And then I realised, that it doesn't matter. And that my inability imagining myself as a woman is quite the same for trans persons just opposite. They probably just can't imagine themselves as the gender assigned at birth. I may be wrong and I really hope to not offend anyone with my blabbering. And I have to say that I don't cling to "traditional" roles for men and fathers.
I really feel happy for Abigail and anyone else, who is able to dare to be happy. Be who You are! Alas You still have to have courage to be public about it but it is getting better.
I like the part where you got to the conclusion that "it doesn't matter". Because that's it, it doesn't. What is good is that she feels happy now, isn't it?
Not offensive in the slightest, in fact you are extremely accurate in your comment. It doesn't actually matter at the end of it all!
You're pretty spot on. As a trans guy, its genuinely a very weird feeling to look back on my childhood and know that I lived all that time as a girl. It's like having someone else's memories, but you have to keep reminding yourself that they're yours. So much of who I am is deeply rooted in my experiences being a girl, but I could never imagine myself as a woman. It's a very hard feeling to describe, but I appreciate you being able to empathize this way.
This is beautiful. Thank you ❤️
You are right. Us trying to perform our AGAB is as confusing as you imagining yourself as a women. Before accepting myself I would overcompensate by subscribing extra fervently to gender roles, but now that I’m secure in my identity I don’t care if I act more fem or masc
“my identity is grounded not in the things that bring me pain, or what other people do to me, but in the things that i love, and in the places that i feel at home.” 🥹🥹 that line gets me every time 😭
Can't believe Abby has been pulling a Mulan for the past year.
Let's go down to business,
To educate
some one(s)
@@KoboldLich Huh!
I saw this coming when she started growing her hair out haha
Yeah she's been looking *suspiciously pretty*
Her voice been getting higher too
as an ex Abigail who is just now starting to come out as a trans guy, I'd like to think that I donated my name haha
That's actually kind of sweet lol
You did!
This is so sweet!
Boy change ur RUclips name
@@nellfromhell7192 true, just did it lol
As a cisgender heterosexual man, I was looking at the comments expecting this to be a totally different perspective, and looking forward to the chance to further my own capacity for empathy.
And then I heard what you said about being at war every day. And that’s exactly how I felt when I was in an unhappy, emotionally abusive marriage. And looking back now that I am divorced, I know what you mean about feeling like I can relax.
I waited years to watch this video, and I think I am going to cry every time I hear Blackstar from now on.
@@luigil8439 I’m glad
@@luigil8439 👏👏👏 so funny, very creative joke
@@luigil8439 the gift that keeps on giving 🎉
you weren't already crying every time you heard blackstar?
This video helped it click that I was trans. The day it came out, I watched it while on break and cried cause as she described being trans, all my brain could say was “it’s you”. Kinda funny looking back on it. I’ve been on estrogen for a little over a year now. Still love rewatching this video.
Congratulations! I love it when media gets you so perfectly
I'm glad to see other people who have found support from her. Her stuff has been helping me too. Gave me some tools to look deeply into myself and approach these feelings in a way that makes sense.
congratulations, i'm so happy for you!!
Congrats 💛💛 I wish you the best :)
That’s sad, I hope you get over this social contagion.
huge idiot me on twitter unfollowing her before seeing the statement like "who is Abigail I have no memory of following this person"
lmaoo
kek
The only acceptable reason to unfollow! Lol
“I’m not transphobic I’m just fucking stupid” same
@@funkyfinn1 yea jesus I'm so conscious of looking like a transphobe cus of it but I'm actually just stupid af lmao
when she said "I look inside myself and ask: do I feel like a man or a woman? and the answer is I feel happy" i cried a little (a lot)
Is it bad that I was kinda hoping she'd say muppet
I feel like at some point I heard the same quote except with the punchline "honey, I feel like shit" and that's what I was expecting 😂
Who’s she? It’s a man talking
@@adda25 dude this is a coming out video, she's a trans woman
@@adda25 how original, it's okay. I'm sure someone loves you too.
I am a cis woman but at some point in my teens I had a lot of phallic phantasies so I started to wonder whether I was trans. The way you described your identity coming apart and then come together again, that was similar to the experience I had, only I came back together as the same person. Perhaps I may not be as binary as I would like to think, but at the end of the day, my favorite job is being a woman. I think you described exploration of gender identity extremely well and younger me would have loved to hear this.
nah thats pretty normal for us females to think about dik its in our genes . i just hoped off my mans about 20min ago and im about to go jump him and initiate round 2
Can I offer you an egg 🥚 in these trying times?
@@3bydacreekside yeah, I’m kinda tired of people telling me that I’m trans and in denial. It’s patronizing.
It’s not fair to assume you know someone’s gender identity better than they do. Even if some people out there are trans and in denial, it’s not your job to figure that out for them.
@@3bydacreekside That;s the Christmas spirit tho eggs are an Easter thing not really a Christmas thing.
This is wonderful to read. Because I think it would help on a personal and societal scale for more people to question their gender, even if after questioning it ends up reaffirming their original identity. It’s why I get really annoyed when part of the anti-trans narrative is “so many of these confused kids who change their pronouns just end up identifying as their birth genders in the end.” So what? It’s like growing up in a town, leaving to live in other places, and then coming back and ultimately settling where you grew up. That journey just reaffirmed that you’d already been where you want but now you know for sure and aren’t wondering “but what if I’d be happier elsewhere?”
I pretended into my mid forties, raised a family, had kids. Always felt empty, dead, I explain my coming to grips with my situation as shoveling dirt into a hole, then one day I had run out of dirt. I was going to shoot myself, but didn't want to leave my kids that way. My transition was slow and not without issues but for the first time in my life I felt as though I was standing in the sun. It doesn't fix everything but I don't hate what I am anymore. It's not a decision to be taken lightly, but those who know, know.
Best wishes and enjoy standing in the sun my friend.
Congrats, I'm so proud of you 💕💕💕
@@malikai1802 Thank you, I'm still here and enjoying my grandchildren
So, you’re one of those mothers that abandoned their family to find themselves.
@@imperialhistorian4201 ????
@@imperialhistorian4201 what in the world are you talking about?
So, I was one of the people who saw you as a “positive masculine role model” in the past. And I’m not going to lie, it was a bit sad for me watching this at first. But when I saw your smile as you came through the door, I realized that I had never seen you smile like that, and as you started talking about how happy and free you finally feel, I started crying because I realized this felt right. You’re not just an inspiration to men, you’re an inspiration to us all. Amazing video, congratulations. :)
Edit from 2.5 years later: Not a guy anymore lol 🏳️⚧️, but I think everything I said here still stands. I will just add that obviously Abigail is a huge inspiration to trans people too!
She is an inspiration to men, too. :)
@@chloem.872 Yes :)
I edited in a “just” to be more clear.
@@jackm6593 Thank you!
And now I'm tearing up again!
@@plushy9849 Aww... ♥
I love that Rhys' performance, despite the script being very "I" centric, made it obvious that it was a performance. Hell, he read from a script most of the time, and the fact that he couldn't get the hair to swoop quite right also felt deliberate. Really hammers home the metaphor that this version of Abigail that we saw before we knew it was a performance really was always just a performance, we just had to zoom out to see the stage dressing.
Really great, very well done, I think Rhys did a great job with it, moving from stilted actor to passionate performance very smoothly.
And of course thank you to Abigail Thorn of Philosophy Tube for, as always, putting on such an amazing, poignant, and meaningful show. I literally cried. Like maybe a lot.
I knew from the moment I pressed play that I was in for something great, as I always do when I watch her content. Tears of joy were shed at the reveal. I am so incredibly moved and happy for her.
Like maybe a lot
ALSO! abby's *always* playing different characters going back and forth. Were this any other video she would have played that part as male and her part as female *but she didn't* and i think that's really important. It shows that the male persona we knew isn't her
Yeah. There's someone else in the comments who said that their faceblindness made the bit very trippy, but for me it was a different effect. Abigail has a very distinctive face shape, so I could tell that Rhys wasn't her pre transition self. But I wouldn't be able to tell Rhys from other white men with the same haircut because his face doesn't have a feature so distinctive it can actually be saved in my memory. So the man who doesn't exist was played by a generic man from my perspective, who couldn't capture Abigail's unquieness.
@@baguettegott3409 I seriously got to the end of the video thinking Rhys had done the Audre Lorde voiceover. I had to click on the link to his channel to realize he was the person on screen.
I was too scared to watch this video for a long time. Not because of the video but because I really looked up to you before you transitioned. And, I myself, am a trans woman. I was in the closet when this video came out and I was terrified when I saw that someone I looked up to had _done it_. I had spent years telling myself it was not possible, that I would not be strong enough and, I think, that I didn't deserve the happiness that came with it. Then I would say to myself "it's too late, now". Or I would think about all that I thought I would lose. So, I guess I wasn't afraid to watcht his video; I was jealous of what you had done because I so desperately wanted to do it, myself.
And then I did. In two weeks it'll mark a year since I came out. And I genuinely mean it when I say that this video, while it did not enable me to break my chains, it sped the process up. And it saved me from countless weeks of grief; I don't think it an exaggeration when I claim genuinely did not live before I reconquered my body. And I'm so grateful that you made this video, that I am finally watching. Because it gave me years of life I would not otherwise have had and I have gone from anticipating my inevitable death with glee to forsaking my mortality; I have gained an existential dread I didn't have before but with that dread comes a boundless appreciation for waking up every single morning.
So, yeah, I smashed that like button
Just Letting You Know If You Put The Underscore After The Period When You Wrote "done it." it Will Turn Out As You Hoped As _"done it."_ If You Edit/Respond I'll Delete This & Act As Though This Never Happened Lolol.
congrats on the anniversary!!! :D just wanted to hop in to say youre badass as hell!! sending love and comfort your way
❤❤
💓
I'm so glad you watched this video!
I can’t get over how she looks so genuinely happy walking through that door. It’s like she’s stepping out into the sunlight for the first time.
Yes!!!
Tears immediately started streaming down my face 😭❤
Omg yes! Her face was like radiating happiness. 😍
I've watched this moment so many times. It's absolutely beautiful
@@okoowcymnichowpanwiszacejw2382 same 😭💛
"I look inside myself and ask, do I feel like a man or a woman, and the answer is, I feel happy"
Idk why but that put the biggest smile on my face
I tried REALLY HARD not to cry watching this but that part got me
Sobbing
@@nightchild2428 This is exactly the same argument as 'gay marriage "redefines" marriage' and will be just as unsuccessful.
@@nightchild2428 loser
@@nightchild2428 I also don’t think anything here redefines womanhood? You could use the argument “well chromosomal sex” but, I have XX chromosomes, but was assigned male at birth, chromosomes have very little, if nothing at all, to do with how we see gender.
So then you could make the argument “but they weren’t raised a woman, you can’t just say you’re a women half way though the game”, to which I’d ask, why? Who makes these rules? Why does the idea of that make you feel bad? Ok you could say you’re scared of a man invading a woman’s space, but here we have an example of a human, living as a woman, with a woman’s name, existing in the world as a woman, so your point falls flat there. However, I understand your fear can’t come from nowhere, but I do feel that it’s misplaced.
So you could use the “they haven’t had the woman experience from birth” and you’re right there, but wouldn’t it be a more valuable use of your time to understand trans women and their experience, because they quite clearly didnt have a “mans” experience either. So again, I feel that argument falls short too.
Overall, and I know this will fall on deaf ears in your case, but for anyone reading, I do feel the typical TERF arguments generally speaking come from a place of fear, which is why they tend to fall short in the logic department. There’s so much to be gained by working with the trans community, so rather than continuing this needless cycle of fear and anger, why not just accept trans people, as they’ve always been a part of our world.
The way you described your assigned gender as being a job you can't keep doing because you are bad at it, is exactly how I feel about my AGAB too. I can't be a boy or girl so I tried another role (non binary) and turned out to be me. Thank you for telling us your story, I loved listening to it.
😊😊😊
fof a second i thought agab meant assigned gay at birth
@@mistymoooooor I'm dying💀💀💀
@@mistymoooooor Saaame, I was so confused 😂
@@mistymoooooor hahahahaha
I teared up at the part about quitting the job. I'm a straight white guy, and I've tried to be supportive of trans folks but I never really got it. I think I get it a bit better now. All the best and all the happiness in the world for you, and thank you for sharing this with us.
Thanks for the comment. While I want to support and understand any person in any personal decision (non harming to others of course) to make them feel whole, well and 'right'. However, I find it hard to empathize and follow some struggles that are so far away from anything I experience... And I sometimes feel like a bad person over it, though I am not sure whether I can be blamed. Videos like this help a lot with that.
@@justusmzb7441I get feeling like a bad person over it. But I just wanted to say, the fact that your reaction to not understanding something is to seek out other perspectives says a lot. I don’t think you can be blamed for not instinctively understanding something that’s so far from your own experience. You’re making an effort to empathize, and that’s all you really can do.
Well you definitely have some learning to do because trans people can be straight, so I don't know why you said you're straight like it's a non-trans experience.
@@StormyTalks You're right, I should have used "cis" instead of straight - that's more accurate to what I meant. I said it out of ignorance - gender identity and sexual orientation are two separate things, and I need to watch my language to reflect that difference. My apologies - I do indeed have much to learn. Thanks!
@@redbirdriotit's fine. It's a common mistake. Even LGBT people sometimes say things like that.
I'm one of those kids who looked up to The Man as a 'masculine role model' and I just wanted to say, seeing you now as you truly are doesn't take back from that. Even if it was just a role you had to play, just as I can and have been affected by fiction, these people who never really existed, I can fondly remember what it brought out in me and that's that.
Can't wait to see what you'll create next, Abigail!
A lot of my heroes are fictional.
Not a lot of good role models for atypical people, but that's changing, thankfully.
Representation matters.
I feel the same with this, That portrayal of masculinity actually helped me come to terms with my own thoughts on gender and all that myself. Even if it was just a character. It was a damn good one, and they'll always be there, just like a good book.
@Jimperialist Jimgoism her channel*
The realest take
@Jimperialist Jimgoism She played The Man™ before coming out which is a very positive representation of masculinity.
"I'm going to show you what it's like to be transgender"
me, already transgender: time for a recap I guess
Big mood tbh
I literally deadpanned "wow I've always wanted to know" lmao
Mood
@@quincyquiz Me: Well yeah I know this, I've always known *but only the other hand.. Abby.*
Lol ikr
re-watching this video that was the final crack in my egg... 1 year and 8 days on hrt, and getting my ID changed next week, living with a supportive partner who actually loves me for me... life is so joyous right now. thank you, thank you so much, abigail. you're a great human.
Good luck with that.
I was in the trenches for 40 years. So unbelievably happy we made it!
That’s a long time in the trenches; you’ve certainly earned your life back, soldier
Plot twist, my only man crush was a cute girl all along
Fuckin’ same dude, same.
Saaaaame
Same. Really starting to doubt if I even like men at all.
Same, my lesbian heart feels very validated now.
I wouldn't say only, but I'm with you too!
Lets just appreciate how good a job Rhys did of portraying a slightly uncanny version of Abigail before she came out.
I can tell in retrospect but man was I fooled
He really nailed the inflection and the cadence in a way.
I was totally fooled by it I absolutely thought it was her looking back...
Absolutely! It's the idea of attaching a person's memories to something else: that something else becomes the original person. It felt as if I was watching Abigail before she came out the whole time, just in Rhys' body.
I wasn't even sure that he was a different person for a while, that's how good Rhys was
i love the statement "you never notice your bones until theres something wrong" just like gender, most cisgender individuals will never pay much mind to their gender as they allign with it completely, but for trans people, something is wrong and so they notice it and its hard to ignore
As a cis gay man in his early thirties who has been struggling with his identity for the last 20 years, and who has recently felt the urge to "learn" philosophy, I am proud to write that YOU, Abigail, have recently become a ROLE MODEL for me. You "were" a handsome man, you definitely are a beautiful and radient woman, but more importantly, you are a magnificent human being, whatever that means.
a fellow man lover 🤝
A cis gay man here and you just said what I wanted to say❤
You know it's one thing to do a "I'm actually trans" video and another to do a "I've been a trans woman for a long time and I've been acting and even faking my voice for a year in order to do an amazing and memorable coming out video" video. Which is amazing.
She's always been Extra✨
Abby is a true actress through and through.
Im new who is the person at the beginning of the video?
That person has facial hair and a different body shape
@@camalinthewind5812 an actor portraying Abigail's old appearance before transitioning.
@@BirgitProfessional Ok thank you for explaining that I was so confused also this video was amazing!!!! Yay Abigail!!!
Having an actor play the character you performed as is the best artistic decision you've ever made on this channel. What a beautiful piece this video is.
+
Omg! I never watched Philosophy Tube before, and didn't understand why he didn't seem to be the same person as in the other vids!
Omg I didn't even realize. I thought it was Abigail with beard. Rhys Tees nailed it with the body language and the way of speaking! He really talked and acted like Abigail pre-coming out. I would've never realized.
✝️ *Lord Jesus died & rose again to pay the debt of your sin!*
🔵It is Gods Gift to us by His grace, we dont earn it by what we do/how good we are!
✅By Faith in the sacrifice God has made are we saved from the penalty of sin!
💜We are all sinners that need God. No one can say they are perfect to be able to pay their debt of sin. This is why only God could pay the penalty for us, that is merciful Love!
Great monologue, too.
“My identity is grounded not in the things that bring me pain or that other people do to me, but in the things that I love and in the places that I feel at home.”
are you KIDDING me?! How can just one person be so incredibly intelligent in the way they articulate something so…indescribable to others who will never understand their experience, and to themselves. Oh my lord, I only discovered this channel today and I’m so filled with love already ❤ thank you sharing so much of yourself, so much that you didn’t owe to your audience but gave so freely and generously. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I was wracking my brain today trying to figure out "what's that movie or show where someone says 'you've been a wonderful audience' before disappearing and it's really heartfelt and bittersweet?!" and then I remembered it was this video.
"Miss Abigail Thorn" is such a badass name, like an old-timey detective or steampunk vampire hunter or something.
(starts writing book)
*I NOW HAVE A MIGHTY NEED*
I will buy every copy you have, thanks
GIVE ME TIME DAMMITB
She does have a bit of Scully vibes, don't she?
She really said "hot as always but now in girl"
We stan a queen who speaks the truth.
LMFAO !!
Around 8 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression. It was something I'd felt for a very long time, but had never confronted directly and had constantly run from. I'd been asked about if I was bullied as a child. I was. Was I abused at home? I wasn't. Did I have good friends? I did. I simply... didn't see any value in living, or more specifically, in my own life. It wasn't making me happy, nothing I did to try and fix it seemed to work and the struggle of fighting to 'appear' happy was actually making the people who I cared about and vice versa miserable.
So when I was 22, I made the decision to end the suffering all round and kill myself. That sounds clinical, but it was anything but: I struggled constantly with the idea, with the burden I would put on others around me and constantly DESPERATELY tried to convince myself there were good compelling reasons I should exist.
And finally one day, I simply ran out of arguments I could believe in. And I went to a nearby bridge that overlooked the North Circular with the intent to jump off it. And I couldn't do it, not because I didn't want to. I BADLY wanted to. But because I was scared, scared of the decision, scared of the concequences, scared that what came after if there was such a thing might be even worse.
So I packed my things and left my Mother's house in Portsmouth to stay with my Dad, who was signficantly less... lets call it 'obsessive' than my Mum, who I love dearly and was simply unequipped to help with what was going on with me.
With that context, hearing Abigail describe how strange it felt to feel... happy, just being alive as she was... well it broke me. Because right here, right now, 8 years later... I am happy, being alive as I am.
I didn't transition, but I did stop playing an act that I couldn't continue to fake for others sake or my own. Since that move to Portsmouth, I made the choice to live as I wanted to. Not to fufill someone elses desires, but to trust that mine were worth pursuing.
A job in service helped me re-learn how to interact with other people, and eventually gave me a craft I'm spending my life improving. Following my interests even when others thought I was crazy gave me reasons to want to see the future of my life. I worked on myself, worked with others, and slowly but surely began to grow into a person I wanted to be, even if part of me believed I'd never get there
It was hard, and every day I had to re-affirm that choice to live and convince myself it was worth it: it takes far less effort to keep a fire burning than let it die out, after all. And every day was still a struggle, a constant battle with my own depression and self doubt. It was hard to even believe it'd all be worth it, that I could be happy 'one day'. But I kept moving forward despite all of that: hopefully, with a happy ending.
And finally, the moment came. During covid at my absolute worst moment sick with the disease, I took stock of my life since that day I ran from the bridge. I looked at the friends I'd made, the mistakes I'd made, the career I'd chosen and the person I'd grown to be... and with an air of complete bewhilderment I just... stopped.
I didn't need to convince myself anymore, didn't need to fight myself. Because I was there, really and truly: I was proud of the person I'd become, comfortable with him. Happy with how I was handling my relationships, excited for the days to come. I was experiencing terrible sickness, but in truth, the epiphany of that moment obliterated all pain from my senses leaving... peace.
I wasn't perfect, far from it. And I still had things I wanted to do, to improve. But who I was, right here and now... I was happy with that. I didn't have to worry about how I'd handle things, or whether I'd lose my way: I could truly trust myself, because at least to me, I'd become someone worthy of that trust.
Since that day, I've had numerous people remark I'm like a different person, that I've 'changed so much' or that 'they simply couldn't recognise me'. I started wondering if there were physical differences to mark the changes, but there weren't: I was still ME outside, but how I acted had changed immeasurably. I was no longer worried about making mistakes, or even feeling a need to force myself to act 'correctly'. I knew what I wanted to do, and was confident in my abilities to either try my best or understand my failure in pursuing that.
And with that understood, I decided to make a physical change so I could see that spiritual transformation in my mirror in the mornings; my hair, always cropped short I grew out and kept that way. It won't mean much to anyone else, but to me it reminds me where I came from and the debt I owe to all the people who helped me become who I always wanted to be.
I've never really understood transitioning before, or at least how it felt to become 'someone else', but Abigail's description of finally being able to stop the act and relax with who she was really resonated with me.
I'm not trying to take on her transformation as my own, or minimize it in any way. I'm a CIS white male with blonde hair and blue eyes who was born into the upper middle class of the UK; I hit every branch of the privilege tree on the way into this world and my life has been lived in that context.
But I just wanted to say, to anyone else out there who finally feels liberated from a persona they felt forced to maintain: I see you, I hope I understand you at least a little, and I'm so happy you're still here. Whatever anyone else says, the world is infinitely better off for your presence in it as someone happy AS THEY ARE, not as how people say they 'should' be.
Keep walking everyone, and I'll keep walking with you.
I’m Belgian (and also trans woop woop) but a current inhabitant of TERF island, and I will refer to it as such until the end of days. 10/10 description 😂
What's TERF island ?
@@OohTarquin The UK
Thank you. I am not transgender. I am a heterosexual married man. The reason I am thanking you is for being courageous, authentic, and a role model for all other human beings exploring their own destiny.
A comment worthy of a kind confident man! Awesome!
What a beautiful way to say this. Thank you for your kindness and wisdom.
I suppose the real gender the whole time was the friends we made along the way.
Yep.
This is both the worst and best takeaway from this. I love it
@@FallingEastward lmao big mood
That make no sense.
@Gorilla Gorilla No. Attack helicopter memes are _bad_. Even ironically.
hey, I might have been the kid who came up to you (it's George here - saw you at TEDx with my tall partner) and I don't know if I did say that because it was a while ago but I definitely felt it, and I just wanted to say that if it was me, I'm not disappointed, and I'm so happy for you
This is so wholesome
I'm not crying you're crying 😭💖
+ (bump this to oblivion)
Boost boost boost
I hope she reads this.
“It’s not me.” That was the one sentence that made me understand. I’m glad you are able to be who you are.
That's literally denial though. Of course it's him. It can't be anybody else. The irony is that he then becomes somebody he's not.
That's what is so pernicious about the trans ideology, it encourages avoidant behavior, it encourages denial, and it repackages self harm as self discovery. Instead of actually dealing with yourself and learning to accept yourself, you hit the kill switch and pretend you've started another life.
That description of how it feels like to be trans was so good, it felt like you were reading my mind lol
frfr
Fr
"transgender princess of terf island" took me out 😂
Hooray!
Me too... I hope they get to change that as soon as possible.
Same. How she went from proud to disappointed in an instant was the funniest part of the video.
Send help LMAO i don't know if can stop laughing at this one
more like tugger of all deluded ! Bahahahahhahahahaahahahahahahahahaaha
Wikipedia furiously turning those “he, his” into “she, her”
@@obiwanshinobi5098 Trans people exist. Get over it or get out of the way.
@@obiwanshinobi5098 nice joke, boomer
@@obiwanshinobi5098 damn, I wish. Cope and seethe, transphobe.
@@obiwanshinobi5098 Cringe.
@@obiwanshinobi5098 Yeah, sure, that's a thing that actually happens. That Jewish Space Laser is totally real too.
The way you described not seeing yourself in the mirror and feeling like you were putting up an act really resonated with me, and I really appreciate how you emphasized the joy and peace of coming out. I will use that part to try to explain how I feel to my family. Thank you for making this and sharing your experience!!!
When he disappeared and she walked through the door, I literally started crying... Such a powerful moment and such an amazing video. I'm blown away!
Can we give a shoutout to Rys Tees who imitated Abigails mannerisms from her pre-trans videos to a T?
Not just mannerisms. But also the inflections and tones Abigail speaks with.
It was so natural I just assumed he's just like that
Right?
I actually just kinda assumed that that part was filmed way way in advance, it didn't click for me at all that that was a different person
@@WraithReaper09 exactly! Even the breathing.
I'm not the dude that came up to you, but you did present me with a model of masculinity that was actually positive after I spent so much time in the alt right pipeline on this godforsaken site. You achieving this gender euphoria has made me nothing less than thrilled for you. I'm not disappointed one bit. You coming out as a woman does not betray the positive influence you've had on me and no doubt countless others.
This is off topic, but i love the nana grizol profile picture!
This is an astoundingly wonderful comment. Seek yourself, whomever that turns out to be, and it certainly may change over time and YOU get to define that. If you are still looking for positive masculine role models, a few examples come to mind: Bob Ross, Steve Irwin, Fred Rogers, Bob Villa just to name a few off the top of my head.
I'd like to add that the old host having been a character rather than a real person doesn't mean he can't be a role model for masculinity. It's completely normal to be inspired by fictional characters and noone questions it just because the actor/actress portraying them isn't the same as the character. And as Rhys Tees so wonderfully showed here, different people can play the same character. The Man Who Isn't There might not be a real person but it's still completely legitimate to strive to be more like him.
This comment makes me so happy.
Women have been teaching me how to be a better man my whole life :)
"I'm so glad I don't have to do the voice anymore" lmao girl same. I'm a cismale, but I used to make my voice sooo much deeper than it was naturally to try and throw the homophobes off the trail. It's absolutely exhausting. Ugh..
I started transitioning at age 54, three years ago. I tried for a really long time to avoid this. Something you said really stood out for me was that you were at peace.
That really captures how I feel right now. I spent 3 years in combat. And the feeling I get is like hearing all the guns going off, then it is suddenly go silent, and you know there is nothing to be afraid of anymore, and you are at peace.
So proud of you ❤
hearing about older trans people (older compared to my generation, im 18) always makes me tear up. Older trans people, trans people who are well into adulthood but still living the same life us younger trans people are, that gives me hope for the future.
I'm so happy you have found yourself, and I hope you get to live as yourself for a long, happy time
I just called you "Thorn", because I never remembered your name.
Now, I'll never forget, Abigail.
This is the “Classically Abby” we all needed 🥰
There are so many Abigails on RUclips. This cannot be a coincidence
This needs to be the top comment.
"Philosophically Abby"
I'm definitely here for fashion tips from this Abby.
Philosophy Abby wears it better, and she doesn't have chuddy, time-machine politics like Abby Sharpeeno
I watched this when it came out and I was a struggling mormon egg. I felt tha spark of recognition and it scared me.
I just got out of my 5th or so gender therapy appointment and my therapist referred to both of us as trans for the first time. Rewatching this video and now I'm seeing more than just sparks of recognition. It's me. I am trans. I'm not a woman. "My identity is gounded not in the things that being me pain or that other people do to me, but in the things that I love, and in the places that I feel at home" hits so hard
been on a channel binge since your "i emailed my doctor X times" and holy shit what a feel good video man. made me smile so much thank you.
Probably not intentional but calling Abbi “man” in the comments of a video about how she is very much not a man anymore is not the play
@@anonymousanonymous1338 "Man" in this context is used as a method of exaggerating their previous statement lmao
@@Irisdwc Believe it or not I understood that. I was just saying that of all the phrases to use that specific one was not it.
@@anonymousanonymous1338 valid opinion. I understand
Calling her ‘man’ is v v funny
Can we also appreciate the elegance of her casting someone else to play a character she has played for a long time just to add depth to the point?
Holly shit I hadn't even noticed 😂 That dude did a great job.
we can and do. Rhys Tees' performance was eerie.
+
i wasn't sure whether or not it was her until i looked at the description
Wooooah I didn't even notice it was someone else. I just assumed this was another look for her and thought "Huh, face is a bit weird today"
She really did just license blackstar for the soundtrack to her entrance. Glorious
Seeing the thumbnail I was already like, oh man, where is Bowie going to tie in.
She is the black star
Right?
My favorite david bowie song :')
Knowing the journey she went on to get the rights made the moment ten times better omg
I’m not trans, but it’s so beautiful seeing all of these comments of people who felt seen and came out. I love it!!
This is probably the most important video I ever watched. You summed up all my fears and anxieties and made me realized I didn't "think" I could be trans, I WAS trans. Just a few months after you came out I started my transition. 2 years later I think back to this video on trans visibility day and I'm grateful to you as an inspiration to me.
damn rhys did a spot-on impression of abigail in boymode. was really impressed with the facial expressions and intonation patterns and stuff.
The 'to be' and pause was pretty much bang on
I was also impressed. Just spot-on.
Ngl for a split second I was like, wow Abigail looks different than I remember, and then I realized she had hired an actor in a grand and beautiful metaphor
right???? I kept being like, uhhhhhhh... this doesn't look like past Abigail but this person has all the mannerisms?? and I was questioning that for the whole video until Abigail herself walked up and I was like yes of course this is our queen
the impression was perfect. it literally had me questioning whether or not that was philosophytube (i dont watch this channel too often so that probably doesnt help
Imagine if the behind the scenes legal stuff was like 20% documents and waiting lists and 80% figuring out how to license Blackstar for that sweet sweet entrance
If you go on her Twitter there’s a real saga of a thread as she live tweeted the process of getting that licence over the months it actually took to do.
@@ooccttoo It makes the David Bowie screenshots from the "I'm Afraid of Americans" video even funnier now.
Fucking beautiful
@@ooccttoo That whole thread was so freaking entertaining in its own right, I cackled out loud at many points and I'm now dying for a Philosophy of Copyright video xD But I can't believe they actually came through, after all that!!
Dear Abigail,
I have been watching your channel for about 3 years, not long before this came out, as soon as I saw my first I jumped to watch every video in your backlog. I instantly admired you, your character became the first real queer masculine role model I resonated with. Your discussion of bisexuality and hedonism was illuminating and freeing, I wanted desperately to be able to play a character like him, to grow up to be like him. You gave me the first real picture of how I could explore my sexuality and the masculine gender I was living with at the time. When this video came out I was surprised, but I was happy for you, I had learned a lot about trans people and trans issues already but the perspective of someone just announcing it to their audience was newly inspiring. I didn't mourn the loss of a masculine example, all the lessons had already been shared, but I wasn't ready to come to terms with my own gender yet either, it took another year before I realized who I wanted to be, which has been the most incredible journey of my life. You became a role model again, I had stayed a viewer the whole time, and I loved your new costumes and the concepts you were able to explore. I followed your advocacy and was proud to be in a community with you and so many other inspirational trans figures.
Yesterday I came back to this video, and I wept as I watched, I cried even after it ended and all I was left with was memories of the first time I watched it. I cried for how brave you were to come out like you did. I cried for how much I wish I had recognized myself in your words when I first heard them. I cried for the impact you had on me, even when I didn't realize it as I came out. I cried for how deeply this video speaks to me now with the power of hindsight. I cried for how empowering and freeing your message was. I cried because I can now, when I so rarely did before. I am so grateful for everything you make and share, your art and research has impacted me and so many others so much. You remain an inspiration to me, thank you for all your words through these years, thank you for being strong and putting yourself out into the world, thank you for standing up for all our trans siblings and all the care and love you bring to the world.
Much Love,
- A Happy Woman
Abigail, OMG! Thank you. I came to this episode 3 years after you put this out. (I found your channel through F1nn5ter and your vid "The Most Misunderstood Philosopher in the World") I'm a newly hatched and fully closeted transwoman. I...I'm still coming to terms with that. Yeah, "Do I feel like a woman or a man?" The thought of living as a woman makes me feel happy. The thought of living as a man makes me feel meh... Do I feel like a woman or a man? No. But finding what makes us feel joy I think is the real key to figuring out if your trans or not, not by defining ourselves based on our pain, but by what gives us joy. I love that sentiment that you expressed at the end. As an aside, my undergrad degree is in Philosophy, although my early studies were in Theater. My graduate studies were in philosophy of religion. I look forward to discovering and exploring your channel, especially your later videos.
Rhys Tees hit some of the subtle mannerisms and speaking quirks and inflections REALLY well, excellent job
Right?! A masterful interpretation
I was only ever 90% sure it wasn’t Abigail, aha. And then when Abigail appeared, I even entertained that she may have been another actress playing the role.
I was wonderfully confused, and maybe even experienced a single atom of the kind of confusion around identity, that a trans person may feel.
Such a wonderful production.
Isn't that her brother? I thought I remembered her mentioning a Rhys at one point, and I noticed they both do the same smile where their upper lip lifts up on one side
"Were you expecting me to talk about my childhood?"
No, I was expecting another musical number, dammit!
(Congrats, Abi
SAME!
Honestly, same
NGL, that was the only "disappointment". X'D
I broke down during this... I've been suppressing my trans-ness for a long time, and I'm still "in the trenches." It feels too late, I'm going on 25. I'm a teacher. My students look up to me. Will that change? It's terrifying.
hey,
i don't know how to express what i want to say exactly, so i do apologize. i wanted to try anyway, just in case it could be helpful to you.
it's never too late to do anything that you think will help you feel more comfortable in your own skin. that can include coming out or transitioning or whatever else you see fit -- and it doesn't need to include anything you don't want it to, your goal isn't necessarily just to fit another mold.
i don't think your students will stop looking up to you. it is a change though, and that can certainly be scary if you're not sure of the outcome.
do remember: if your students look up to you now, it means you're likely already a great teacher. being trans won't stop you from being a great teacher, even if some of your students were raised in a transphobic household.
for context, i myself am a trans teen. i've grown up in a not-so-accepting town, so i've only really come out to people i interact with frequently.
it would've made so much of a difference when i found out i was trans if i had known there were people _older_ than me who were also trans.
and there are, of course -- there are people older than _both_ of us who are trans (Abigail herself, for example), who have gone through the same or similar things.
there are people older than us who've come out older than us, who've transitioned older than us, who've _found out_ older than us.
i hope that this helps in some way. you're gonna be alright, and it _does_ get better.
Its never to late to choose to be who you want to be, to choose your own happiness.
I cant say for certain, but i dont imagine staying 'in the trenches' for your students would be more helpful than staying in an abusive or failing marriage 'for the kids'. To be your authentic self is always being a good role model.
You are loved by your family, chosen or blood. And you have my support, whatever thats worth.
Stay safe, be strong
And may courage set you free
It truly lifts my heart to hear and see a person find comfort in who they are. If you read this Abi, thank you for making me smile.
I’m one of those boys, in truth I’m to old to call myself that anymore, who looked up to you as a male role model. I can now confidently say I still have a role model, and she’s a woman now. Your video about men and abuse has helped me understand myself and live a happier life. I needed someone to help me feel like I wasn’t alone than, but I’ve grown since than. I can’t believe it, but after this video, I can say I don’t need to be reassured that that’s the case anymore. It seems like I know it’s true on my own. Thanks for the laughs, the tears and the thought provoking videos. I’m happy for you, and I can’t wait to see all the beautiful work ahead of you!
I'm happy for you for coming so far on your journey! Hope you continue to grow and understand yourself better
Well said Lucas, I'm happy for you too x
Well said and so kind hearted❤
Couldnt agree more with what you wrote
🖤🖤🖤
"do I feel like a man or a woman and the answer is I feel happy" brb happy crying
My current spin on that quote is: “Do I feel like a man or a woman? The answer is AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”
@@Frostflame the answer is that i am a swarm of bees in a trench coat
@@nadalekene2446 And the answer to THAT is that I am two trenchcoats inside of a kid
I am a 72 year old male ,raised in the old fashion way , personally , I respect and have the same compassion for every human being .
But I must tell you that ninety percent of my contemporaries see it as a made up , capricious, self serving way of life .
I apologize for them .
Merci .
@@szzk7937maybe if you actually watched it you would’ve had more respect for her?
@@szzk7937misgendering~
@@szzk7937well, sometimes you have to serve yourself. Sacrificing your own sanity and comfort for the peace of others isn't noble. It's how you speedrun suicide.
There's a certain smile to transitioning, this beaming grin, happier than one would think possible, by god is it wonderful to see.
That is so true, when I started transitioning people commented that they had never seen me smile the way I was, it was a truly genuine smile
Can we just acknowledge what it must have been like to pretend to be your pretransition self for a year on your RUclips channel, and being able to recreate your old voice so perfectly that the majority of your fans don't even notice. Props to you Abigail, that must have been surreal. Seeing your genuine smile warmed my heart, and I hope nothing but happiness comes your way from here forward
she is the best actress alive by far :3
I thought that part might have been prerecorded awhile ago? Although I could be easily wrong.
@@mississippitransman8617 hm interesting but I think she said otherwise
Right?? I thought of that too! It must've been really difficult to stay as her pretransition self
@Teddy Johnson I know what you mean about the effects of puberty not being reversed, but I would guess she has been practicing speaking from her neck/head and not her chest for a while and got used to it, so going back to the old way must have been a bit odd.
Abby’s relief at not needing to “do the voice” really got me tearing up I’m not gonna lie ❤️ I’m so happy for you ❤️
Yes!! Such a delight to hear her real voice. The instant she started reading those lines. Beautiful.
He's just a man who likes dressing up as a woman
@@icantdoitnike your mom
@@icantdoitnike You are an ignorant person. She is a woman because she feels like a woman. If you'd like to argue that fact start with defining what a Man or a Woman is, I'll wait.
@@Itryhardder so what you're telling me is that I can identify as a giraffe if I want to because I feel like one.
I am born 1970 and identifying as a non-binary bi-gender person. I really love your approach, your coming-out and your ability to show other transpeople that life could actually be easy if we and others simply could accept whatever we are and treat us like regular humasn beings. I hope that one day - for following generations - our coming-outs will be a non-event. Lots of love.
rewatching to tell y'all that i've been transitioning for 2 years now and had my top surgery 5 weeks ago 🥰
this video might not have been the reason for my egg cracking, but it came out exactly 10 days before i decided to run away from home to pursue my transitioning. i was at my lowest bc of lockdown, stuck with a conservative family, and was about to do something far more terrible than just living a different life.
for the first time in my life, like you abigail, i'm happy. and thanks to many other reasons, but they definitely include you as well, i'm still alive. so, from the bottom of my heart, thank you ❤
I was deadass worried I went face-blind and forgot what Abby's face looked like for the first minute-and-a-half
I'm somewhat face-blind and didn't figure it out until after the video when I read through the comments. I was like, who is this Rhys Tees person they're talking about and what role did they have in the video? Ohhhhhh! Now I get it.
@@josh34578 same with me. I wasn’t entirely sure what was going on until Abby came on.
Thank God, I thought I was the only one. 😂 That casting was brilliant though.
That actor looks like me so it was so much trippier for me lol
@Bridget Doherty yeah thank god man I thought something was wrong with me.
Using a separate actor with the subject "looking back at yourself feels like a different person" was just so good.
Congrats Abigail!!!!!
long comment sorry
my dad was going through youtube with me on his tv on this recent visit and passed by one of your videos and said “i saw her trans coming out video and it really touched me” and i was like really? wow.. i gotta see this! me and my dad haven’t always had the best relationship and he’s not a super awesome ally but i still see him and i was amazed that he’d watch this. so i watched it, and just wow. this made me feel so seen. i’ve never seen anyone else describe transness and other intersections so well. i loved this! i told him all about how it made me feel and it felt magical to have this understanding with him , that i’m in the wrong job
also , kudos for not giving the same story everyone gets and asks for
When she was like “oh we’re you expecting...” I thought she was gonna say a muSICAL NUMBER?!
Literally same
Yes! I tough she was going to pull a disney style song on us! Like the birds and animals Disney princess shit!
Omg yes!
I was not, but now the thought has been introduced I must admit myself disappointed by the lack of musical number.
“Hurray, I’m the transgender princess of TERF Island!”
THERE’S the Darkness™️. Kick some ass, Abigail!
You have to kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight
@@teranelson826 lol
This video was part of the snowballing over the past few years that led me to coming out to my parents this past weekend. I was blown away when I first watched this, but now can't watch it without tearing up all the way through. The family is struggling with the news, and I doubt the parents will ever be willing to sit down and digest something like this, but I'm in my 40's and have found hope for the future for the first time in my life.
Wish you all of luck to find happiness! ❤
From a trans youngster
I can’t imagine what it is like to realise something like this about yourself so much later on in life than i have (especially when it comes to life situation more so than age)
I wish you all the best
I wish you all the support
And that you allow yourself to experience joy
I was born a girl, but am a non-binary person with a masculine personality. I have my own dysmorphia and I didn’t really understand for years. People would always compliment me on the feminine parts of me that I had/have dysphoria about. So yeah, this video ripped me open and healed me all over again. 💕🏳️⚧️
Shout out to Rhys Tees for doing an incredible job of playing "the man who isn't there"
he got her mannerisms spot on
I didn't realise! It's been so long since I saw any beards on this channel that I convinced myself this was Abigail from a few months ago. Ah!
@@baguettegott3409 hehe i was searching the comments for confirmation like hmm thought he looks off lol r u autistic too
Fuck! I just assumed it was her with like a fake beard and makeup and movie magic.
Is it just me, or does "Abigail Thorne" sound like the name of a bad ass dystopian YA novel protagonist?
And I'm totally here for it
It really does!!!
Omg yes. It sounds badass but not with that cringe aspect of those other names lol. But then again...we all know Abigail Thorne is the protagonist. We’re side characters lol.
And don't forget she's also a descendant of royalty. Badass lost princess arc in a YA novel. Current rulers want her dead, an extremist restoration movement wants her as a puppet queen, nobody asks her what she wants. Hilarity and murder ensues.
To be fair, so did her deadname. It's the last name I think.
It would only fit the bill even more if her nickname was Gail
The part of this video where she was talking about the kid coming up to her and calling her masculine, had me bawling. Big, gloppy tears.
This hit home so much. I just love this eloquent woman so much.
I actually started crying for joy for you when you came in dressed as yourself. I’m new to watching your channel and I’m so happy I’ve found it. I just wish you the best.
I've always had a strange feeling about that term. "Coming out".
The emotional journey this video took me on made me see it a different way.
You didn't come out Abigail, you invited us in. Thankyou.
There's a great deal of love and respect between you and your audience. I feel proud to be amongst them.
That's a really lovely way of putting it
aaaah what a good way to put this feeling! I like that so much more
Not sure if you heard about it and that's why you used this term but once I read an article where it was advocated to instead of coming out, people should invite in the right people.
@@Szopjale1
I don't recall ever hearing that. Maybe I did and it stuck somewhere in my subconscious.
IIRC the phrase was a take on coming out like socialites do. The phrase stuck.
Abigail, this isn't first time us men have looked up to a fictional character, and it won't be the last. Don't worry about us.
Also, congrats!
Underrated comment
Elon Musk had entered the chat
Very well put. I'd like to think that before I transitioned I was a good influence to others and I don't want that erased. It is simply a past showing.
@@arshiaarjomandi6279 Honestly same, all of my little crushes just popped like bubbles.
Seeing all the people in the comments who were able to come to terms with their own identities is such an incredible thing.
i cried a little, i discovered your channel hours ago and some things you said in the "transhumanism" video left me questioning why you said that... and i ended here... now i understand. I dont have words to express the happiness y feel for you, and the sadness that comes with realizing you are the lucky one in a world full of people living someone else's life... thank you for sharing this 🖤
The King is dead, long live the Queen
Yes, just yes
Just to clarify the king is not dead. That was merely a humorous intro to a joke that's been taken a bit too serious by a few people... and a newspaper
@@gingeralex4009 we know it’s a joke, there was never a king only a queen, but now she can be herself
@@joanagomes9272 For real, for real
Literally 😳
As someone who needed a masculine role model at an important time, i think the point that those traits aren’t masculine, they’re just positive traits, is reassuring. Congratulations Abigail ❤️
The idea of masculine or feminine role models is kind of outdated in my opinion. It restricts people to their gender roles
@@ellie8272 At the end of the day though we are restricted by our gender
@@oscargrove2107 in what sense? Our gender doesn't determine anything you'd have a role model for
Can you be more specific?
@@ellie8272 Well my gender is male and this has shaped my entire living experience. The way people treat you, the way they fear your darkest emotions, the way I was taught to deal with pain, with love. Just because inside you dont feel your gender is important does not mean you will be judge by other people as your gender. My hormones are different, testosterone can be quite the beast to handle and it can get away from you with hugely negative consequences. As a male it is important for me to find a role model that is male since I know he has had aimilar struggles to me. For instance if a woman just told me I need to be less aggressive it would fly over my head since I would think she has no understanding as a woman of controlling out of hand feelings of rage. Only a man can help me through those feelings since he knows what its like. Same way as a woman you wouldnt take advice from a man about being taken seriously in a group of men. Our gender defines a lot of our struggles in life.
@@oscargrove2107 that's fair. As someone who's been on both hormones I can confirm they're different, but really they seem like such a small part of who I am. Sure my emotions are different and learning to regulate them would have to come from a person on estrogen (be they any gender, there can be non women on estrogen, and non men on testosterone)
Maybe it's because I've been on both, but to me there's just a lot more to life than hormones, and I don't see my role models' genders as particularly relevant, idk
I didn't watch this channel for a long time because I didn't have the mental capacity or emotional fortitude to think about philosophy due to the stress and complexities of the pandemic. I am so happy for you. Thank you for being so courageous to be you. You are an amazing person and I am so inspired by you. Thank you for being you!
When you said you feel happy, I collapsed into tears. I will destroy the entire empire for you,
Uhh… the pandemic? Was tough on you? Wtf… were u a doctor or nurse?
@@websurferwizardbros so privileged he can't comprehend that people went through shit during the pandemic
@@websurferwizard yeah it's very strange that an extremely serious, rapidly progressive, incredibly infectious, deadly global disease, that results in years of lockdowns and social isolation can make you exhausted...
I first came across PTube in late 2021. Then found this video in November of that year and had that spark of recognition.
In just over a week I'm starting HRT. Thank you for putting incredibly difficult feelings into beautiful words.
good luck on your new journey bud!
'i feel like ive been dead for years' is the realest, deepest, rawest way ive ever heard the trans experience be described, and its so fucking accurate.
I like that you hired an actual guy to take on the first part of the video, and didn't force yourself into a role you didn't fit.
It's a role for someone else, now. Someone who can be happy in it. How absolutely appropriate. Then again, we're all here for the work Abigail's done in the past, and will do in the future.
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@@Niarbeht Right? I know it's cliche but she's still the same creative person. The fact that we happen know she's a woman now doesn't change that.
I was always a close ally to any trans people id met in HS. Id stuck up for my trans masc friend Sam a few times. I always found trans people admirable for being willing to be themselves authentically. I told my NB friend last December about how admirable I found trans people, and that Id never have the confidence to be myself like that. They promptly sent me some resources and told me to read at my own pace, and it kinda put the last nail in the "am I trans?" coffin. I kinda stayed closeted at home and dressed androgynously for a few months. But the problem is once you're *aware* of you who are, it becomes painful to hide. Id struggled with trying to "be a man" for so long, that war analogy really does hit. Similarly, suicidal ideation was something that was rough for myself as well. Something that became apparent after coming out, and socially transitioning: A trans person coming out of the closet is equivalent to that person choosing life over death. Because once they realize who they are, and they stay in the closet they risk mental health worsening, and risk of suicide jumps dramatically. The thought of anyone having to live either a closeted or "stealth" lifestyle breaks my heart.
From the moment you walked in as yourself, Abigail, and seeing that massive smile on your face, tears just started flowing.