How to Approach Women and Not be Creepy
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- Опубликовано: 7 фев 2025
- Dr. K teaches you how to not be creepy while approaching a woman.
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Being a gamer means you spent most of your time inside, which can leave you a bit lacking with the ladies. Luckily. Dr. K, as a married man, can teach you how to approach women and not be creepy. Not being creepy comes from intent rather than a method. Hitting on a woman is simple...it just takes a bit of confidence and eyebrows. With this advice, you can approach your crush or that cute girl that is in your class.
In this video, Dr. K teaches you how to approach women and not be creepy.
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#dating #Flirting #datingadvice
![Noob To Max With DRAGON REWORK In Blox Fruits [FULL MOVIE]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/LnBMOinoOvA/mqdefault.jpg)
bruh just quicksave before asking her out lmao
I fucking wish
So hardcore mode is when youre drunk and you dont remember to save right xD
That's Craig David's 7 days song
Yeah quick save but its no all the time
@@philipooi94 bruh, that defeats the purpose of the quicksave. lmao fuck off
Actually a yes might be even scarier than a no, because of a lack of experience I wouldnt know what to do next
true
@DrScream I don't know, I don't think i will ever have the confidence to view myself as a "3% guy". I also find it frustrating that in order to attract women you have to show no vulnerability and stuff. I feel like I wouldn't be able to be myself and at some point would fail to keep the act up. what is the point of a relationship if you can never show who you really are...
Be yourself and show interest in the other person. Talk about what you both like to do, if you find something you both enjoy, do that together. You will feel more comfortable doing something you do already.
You just have to go out and get experience dude. If you fail it doesn’t matter she isn’t right for you then. Try again and again until finally you succeed and you will because of the experience you gained by never giving up. You will get confidence by putting yourself out there, the lack of is from the fact you’re inexperienced. Therefore the solution is experience! So get out there!
HealthyGamer would probably say, "So what's the worst that could happen? She breaks up with you? Find another girl! If you were able to get one you can definitely find someone else. Keep trying until you get it!" He'd also probably mention straightforward and continuous communication to help the relationship. All good relationships rely on communication.
Im a girl who has asked guys out in the past and got rejected. Im actually quite shy with dating, so I am really proud of having done that. It's so nice when you connect and they seem great etc, and how confused they get and how nicely they reject me. They seemed really flattered and appologiced, but they have all been in relationships ... I really dont regret it, because I think it was a good boost for them and a nice experience for me. It can be done with a light heart 😄
You can be sure as hell it was a big confidence boost. Most men rarely ever get compliments just because, especially from a female (or whatever gender you're attracted to) so getting complimented makes us feel very nice and we remember it for a long time. Well, not just that, but most of the things we hear being told to/about us are either insults or complaints. So we hold on to such kindness for life. I have friends and relatives who still remember vividly the time some girl told them...like - "You're cute" or "I think you've got nice arms" etc. from 33 years ago.
@@Ivaylodr5 they where really great guys. Im attracted to healthy, dynamic and kind men, so when I get the right vibe I try to put myself out there more. And I think I did quite well in assesment, having them reject me because they are commited. One day I might get lucky 😄 and they can have that moment to feel good about themself and I really want that for them. I know I am attractive, and do have choices, but the men I like are mostly shy, so I figured I had to be more proactive because otherwise it comes down to luck 😅
@@Dressurkunst i have tons of respect for women who ask out men. shows you know what you want and are willing to risk being rejected. (instead of just waiting for guy to come to you)
@@Dressurkunst You'll actually have better relationship outcomes if you're proactive in asking people out. Learned it in a math class about algorithms.
@@Dressurkunst Ok, hearing you say these make you very attractive person
Sprint towards them and open with the word 'Greetings.'
I prefer the "Have you heard about Kvatch? They said that daedra came from Oblivion and burned the whole city to the ground!" but I always get the "Nothing I'd like to talk about" as response :(
shen bapiro
@@TheChodex How about "Do you get to the Cloud District very often? Oh what am I saying, ofcourse you don't."
"we'll bang, ok?"
works every time
instructions unclear, i now have 3 restraining orders.
Rebel. The government cant tell you what to do.
unclear for me too, got 2 trials and 3 years jail
Can we get to 5 tho
speed run restraining orders
you missed the part where you're supposed to be at least 8/10
"Just Be Confident Bro!" - Chad Thundercock
Cringe
@@calin6327 123 people would like to disagree with you. You might be having the wrong idea of cringe, buddy.
@@brel_ alright, disagree but... What for?
@@calin6327 saying cringe is cringe
Johnathon Jostar yes the floor is made of floor
I love this man. He’s so optimistic.
that just means youre so negative
@CJ Ransome You're so enlightened bro....damn.
@CJ Ransome There's a lot of life problems that require some degree of optimism. Pessimism is good in that it stops you from just saying yes to everything, but how will you move forward in life without optimism to balance it. The reason why he's very optimistic here (and its not even too much optimism I'll be honest) , is because you have to take into account his demographic. Its mostly young people. And often times, the only real thing that stops young people from success is proper direction. This video can be summed up to "Go for it, but don't go too far and be creepy.", and not "Go for it, you can't fail ever hahah xd"
@CJ Ransome How is this not realistic. I've literally did what he said in the video and it's worked.
lmao
You're the first person to be able to explain to autistic me that there's a difference between confessing your love and asking someone out. I always thought both carried similar weight so I refrained from doing either because of a bad experience doing the former. Understanding that asking someone out is so much more casual made what I've been told by friends about "just do it, what's there to lose?" finally click. It feels like something I can manage now. Thank you so much for this video and for the crystal clear and intuitive explaination! You are an amazing educator! ❤️
OMG YES THIS IS SO RIGHT
To quote the Ink Spots: "Be sure it's true when you say 'I love you', It's a sin to tell a lie."
Simply put; recognize that love and attraction are *vastly* different things. When in doubt, always assume the latter.
what? I'm not autistic, though I have bipolar disorder, and I still couldn't figure that out
People ask other people out because they're attracted to them and are interested in a potential relationship. Love is very different. It's a completely different feeling. Love develops over time (usually) between people in a relationship - it's sort of an attraction or adoration of them as a partner and as a person. People date all the time without being in love with each other - mostly because they are testing out the other person and aren't at the love stage yet.
@@BRAWGWill to summarize; love is when you know the other person is an asshole piece of shit and you still wanna be with them regardless.
"I'm a married man and I just said yes to the screen" love Dr k's twitch chat
Dr K. More like Dr. C for chad
True
@@556WalkemdownTorrents You're so insecure, you can't even see, that he is obviously making a joke.
@@leonawroth2516 so he agrees he isnt a chad. he is almost the polar opposite. hes foul
@@556WalkemdownTorrents He can get a gf anytime and you cant. He's chad, you're not and wanna know how I know that. You clicked on this video and not only that you went straight to the comment section like a sissy.
@@viastis4107 >indian
>getting a gf.
pick one
"Why are you not worthy of dating? Because if you felt worthy you would feel comfortable asking someone out."
Gave it some thought, immediately uncovered horrible repressed feelings of shame.
Bawled my eyes out 10/10
So should I just believe I'm worthy?
@@StarboyXL9 well, I would say make a very honest evaluation and fix what you can.
For example, I felt that I was a horrible person bc of the state of my familial relationships. Most of that, however, hasn't really been my fault lately. I'm just finishing a demanding degree and haven't had any time.
So I forgave myself for most of what's happened and internally decided to spend more time w my family when I can.
@@knockerz9769 i love this, i did the same, i kept clawing at a negative emotion "sum scar i think he calls it" and going down memory lane while meditating on why i seem to always be single and it brought me back to a time in my life where i got close to a group a very bad and abusive kids when i was a kid, they were nice when we were strangers but once we became friends they started beating me up and stealing my stuff, then i met a girl who was cool as shit when we were friends but when we dated sje literally turned evil, i realized i was in a cycle of fear that when i let people in my life they abuse me and ive been self sabotaging and screwing up dating and friendships, low key cried once i realized it and i was able to let go of that part of my life, after that and went and confidently bought some groceries and accidently flirted with chick without thinking about it and immediately had a great response, you just gotta attack that mental baggage and shut down i securities when they arise, wish more people taught this stuff!
@@StarboyXL9 It takes work to make yourself feel worthy. Work on yourself first before getting into a relationship would be my advice here
@@StarboyXL9 More like you should think about why you believe you're not worthy.
"If you get rejected but she smiles, then you know she at least feels good about herself and you can feel good that you made someone feel good about themself."
Some 5head shit right there man. Expect nothing less from a Harvard psychologist
subhuman africancel yeah but they love his confidence. Girls care way less about appearance then men do when looking for partners. They’re way more emotional and that means they search for partners that can stimulate they’re emotions. Trust me dude I know guys that are at best a 5/10 but get girls that are 8s and 9s just because he has confidence.
@subhuman africancel I'd say women do care about appearance just not to the extent men do, atleast not as much as me. But I guess we can agree to disagree. To say that no amount of confidence will get you a super model is true, confidence alone will not get you a girl. Typically the type of person that would get a super model girlfriend is someone who is also successful themselves because women love success.
subhuman africancel yeah of course they do but not all. I doubt the ones that lack confidence fuck like crazy. But fucking and relationships are two different things.
Those are never the interactions that make me feel bad lol
Such a genuine perspective and I never thought about it like that before. Removing the ego from it.
Dr K is one of the most wholesome people on the entire internet. He goes on stream and helps people, and donates the money he makes towards helping more people. What an absolute legend.
Being able to say "At least I tried." is WAY BETTER than saying "Why did I not even talk to her once when I had the chance?"
Speaking as a guy that was bullied my entire childhood well into my late teen years because I always struggled with my weight/appearance and was into anime before it was cool which heavily stunted my socialization development and personability skills and at this point despise the unknown, loud gatherings, and honestly hate people in general with a passion, it is difficult at times to speak to new people, whether you want to make new friends or try to find romance.
Not true
@@TheGreatSalsaMansorry about this man hate people at times as well
WAY, WAY better say I, speaking from bitter experience. Although in my case, I knew they were already interested in me, and approaching them would have been easy. It's just...I did not ask them out, and I very much should have.
Same here.@@squamish4244
ngl when he gave me the flirty smile, i kinda blushed and laughed too what a homie
Yo lmao same
Same. Please flirt with me Dr K
As a bisexual woman my best advice is to not let things linger. As soon as you're interested, express it. Don't be secretly in love with someone for 5 months or 5 years and then confess. It's best to be straight up and give genuine compliments to anyone you find cute. It's better to hear a no and process it and move on than be stuck in fear
I don't know if I want to date someone until I get to know them but that takes a while for me so I'll get friendzoned
@@LordBruciusCletusJenkins A lot of people date to get to know someone. I recently met someone and asked her out after hanging out once and she said yes. I've had it not work out with people many times and we just become friends. Nothing ventured, nothing gained
@@jellyrcw12 hmm I don't even know how to meet people though or talk to them
@@LordBruciusCletusJenkins oh well
Good advice but I ain't gonna confess 'cause it's a wasted effort and I know it
I blame disney and stupid nice guy romcoms. I got that shit out of my brain after 2 years of grinding social skills. It hurt but it was all worth it.
any tips for newcomers?
@@tommyrobredo95 ditto. i wanna hear this
@@tommyrobredo95 literally just go out in the world. go on bars, go to events, talk with people in cafés and parks and what not and things will come naturally. People want a manual for everything these days, it's insane. We all don't work the same way, we gotta learn ourselves.
But the main thing is: Dare to leave your comfort zone, everytime you do that, you will become a stronger and more confident person.
What Braille said. Find friends and interests that you truly like and are comfortable with, and create strong bonds with those friends and become good at those interests. Eliminate toxic and ego-centric behaviors from your mind.
Practice by talking to someone and focus on truly listening to what they're saying instead of waiting for your turn to speak. Only start to construct your own sentence to respond with after they're finished talking and you've digested everything they said.
Also, in conversations, ask questions just for the sake of asking questions, not for the sake of steering the conversation in a certain direction. For example, don't ask "what's your favorite movie?", wait for them to respond, pretend like you're interested in their response and then say your favorite movie. Ask "what's your favorite movie?", listen to their response and then just leave it at that. This is something I'm still working on, but it definitely makes you a more pleasant person to be around.
You might think these tips are for making friends and not a GF, but there's not much of a difference really. A likeable person is an attractive person.
Exactly! All the bullshit Nickelodeon stereotypical obsession over the cute yet vacuous girl by the insecure nerd scenarios were really damaging to my psyche growing up.
The biggest thing that helped me in my insecurities is realizing that women want companionship as well. A lot of them want to be approached confidently and caringly by dudes. This switch helped me approach girls in general, not necessarily to romance them. In fact, the need for romance tends to subside in many cases, because I find them interesting in and of themselves.
Lately I’ve been popping the question a lot earlier and it’s really helped me. I let it get to the point where I’ve talked to someone a decent bit to where we aren’t strangers but also not friends really either. If I think I could see myself catching feelings in the future I just ask them out. After one experience of being heartbroken because I waited way too late, I’m not gonna let that happen again.
Yeah same
your description of the thought process of the nice guys is exactly how I thought when I went through this phase a few years ago
thanks for not instantly shitting on them the way people online tend to
"What are you afraid of, that she's going to say no?"
I'm afraid that she'll label me creepy, she will call me creepy to her friends, and I get shunned by that social circle.
Most of the time the opposite happens. After 200 random approaches, they often compliment the valiant effort. It's all in your head
That's literally my main fear
Yeah how do you deal with this, I more compatible with introverted girls but they are more uncomfortable if u approach them
@@LondonMoneyCashEnterprisebrah introverted girls are even worse. They will silently kill you while social butterflies will do broad day light murder.
Ahhh I cringe at this because I feel the same way.
"hey... hey... hey... hey... hey... hey... "
shut up navi
For a sec I thought this comment was 69 years old lol
Ooo, I do, I do, I do, I dooo.
Boy you got me helpless
Lookin to your eyes
The sky’s the limit
I got about 40 rejection straight. most of them let me down easy but a few of them told me outright I'm just too short. I'm 5'2
Yooo. Did you do that to most girls under your height? Try shorter chicks bro. Start with 5'2" chicks and go down from there.
40 percent isn’t bad
Bruh I'm 4'9 it's surprising how many women you can find that are really small
Also are these people like people you know or just tinder stuff because I bet if it's someone you know you'll have a higher chance of getting with them. So try talking with them and hanging out more
Strenght dude
"The worst she can say is 'no'."
***minutes later***
"EWWWWWWWWW!!!"
I think if a girl told you "eeeeewww", it be okay to dismiss her since she's an asshole. At least when a girl rejects you, she is for the most part happy someone found her attractive; not "eeeewwww"
I still maintain the worst she can do is projectile vomit
@@davycroket100 yea, I'd say so too
thats nothing, being called to be taken away by police for false accusation is the greatest achievement.
Everybody hatessss Chrisssss 😬😂
I'm engaged now, but when I was younger (high school and a little afterwards) I was absolutely one of the guys who didn't know what it meant to treat women with equal respect, and I didn't think there was anything wrong with me. I went through a terrible breakup, and had a horrible time afterwards, but it made me realize that I was the one who needed to change. I thought of relationships as investing "affection points" in the women I was interested in, when I should have focused more on raising and improving my own attributes. It took a long time, but I'm glad to be where I am now. Still a little scared of life, but more willing to be hurt so I can learn a little more.
I think another thing a lot of people notice is sexual ulterior motives. Most people can tell when you're only asking them out just to get sex or a gf/bf who will give them sex. They aren't interested in you as an individual or your compatibility in the long term. It's really obvious and, in my opinion, is what makes most people come off as a creep. There is a huge responsibility that comes with dating and marriage, and sex is just the cherry on top, not the foundation. And to clarify, wanting to sleep with someone isn't the issue, it's pretending like you care about dating or getting to know them as a person, when you actually just want to satisfy your sexual appetite under the guise of caring about the longterm.
No it's just your attractiveness that makes you not a creep. That's the long and short of it.
so how does one not give off such an impression?
@@StarboyXL9 found the incel lol
@@nusquamnemo4780 Found the Redditor
@@StarboyXL9 I don't even go on Reddit (although I sometimes watch aita compilations, some of those people are ridiculous) but incel perfectly describes your kind of attitude
I’ve never thought about the worst thing that could happen is the girl feels good about herself. Like if I hold the door for someone I’m not expecting a date. But if I ask a girl out it can be more pleasant to her then holding the door. I might not get a date out of it but I didn’t have one before asking either.
I got rejected most times I asked a girl out. I didn't beat around the bush or hang around longer than I needed to introduce myself and pop the question. But generally they were happy after I approached them and turned me down politely, sometimes even with a joke or a smile. I think only one girl was awkward or mean, and as fate would have it, we were assigned to work on a group project together a year later. We became friends and got a decent grade.
@Tony Montana So she outs herself as a reprehensible bitch and you can let everyone know that.
@Tony Montana Being rejected by a shitty person is still better than having them agree to date you.
Beta Male shit right there: "I may be unlovable and alone for the rest of my life but at least I made a girl feel good about herself! :D"
@@uberd3323 You're making presumptions about being forever alone that was never implied. How you end up with the exact opposite conclusion sounds like some personal bias.
You're forever alone if you don't try it.
Or an incel, trying to act alpha.
Man, best thing that happened to me was asking a girl out second day of classes this last semester. I had a date within my first week and I was smooth as hell when I asked her out. It didn’t end up going anywhere as there just didn’t seem to be too much interest in each other for either of us but it definitely helped me with my confidence and I realized that dating doesn’t have to be this long plan of currying favor.
Literally everyone around me has a girlfriend/boyfriend But yet I'm a 22 year old dude, still single and haven't ever even talked to a girl more than 10 minutes. It's like i'm living on a different realm, a different planet, this whole girlfriend thing seems like it's deleted in my life. an Alien concept. Life is so wierd.
Edit: Thanks for the comments, I didn't know it got this much attention but i'm doing good lol it's just I never experienced romance and it's kinda annoying when much people around me do and media constantly doing it as well.
same
I feel the same way dude! I'll be honest: I did have a gf in high school but that was a little over four years ago. Now I don't really talk to anyone, and I find it tough to socialize with people, especially women. I know what you mean when you say that you feel like you're living in a different realm.
same I have only really dated twice as a mid 20s adult. Worst part is when your married friends kinda judge you for it
@@Wildwildmint You tell that to the people I know in my life, saying i'm a loser for being a virgin XD
@@deadrock1678 well they're losers for giving a crap about your sexual life
01:11 🔄 Balancing self-improvement and relationship-seeking is important. Focusing solely on oneself may cause missed opportunities, but fixating on finding a relationship can lead to being perceived as a "nice guy" in the friend zone.
06:31 🔄 Striking a balance between self-improvement and pursuing relationships is key. Overinvesting in a specific relationship can lead to the "friend zone" dynamic, while waiting for relationships to come naturally may not yield results.
08:13 💬 Authenticity and respectful communication are crucial when approaching someone you're interested in. Keep it genuine, be clear, and a touch of flirtation can be added without overdoing it.
09:27 🚫 Excessive flirting can come across as creepy.Balance is key; be genuine, show interest, and respect boundaries.
12:56 🤔 Building courage to approach someone involves facing the fear of rejection. Recognize your own worth and be comfortable with the possibility of a "no" response.
Doc K just cured my ED with his flirt face #hardasarock
I mean he IS a doctor
lmao
I never had a true girlfriend until I was 34. I had no idea what I was doing, I never dated, but I knew I wanted a relationship. I figured out the things I wanted in someone and the things I liked about myself. I was then able to hit the online dating and knew things could be messy. Knowing who I was and what I wanted made me confident, and that made my dates amiable and gave me more confidence, even though by the odds my dates didn't end in relationships. Naturally I kept learning how to interact with women, and got an even better understanding on what I would need in a relationship. I kept at it for a year until the chemistry was right with someone and now I'm happily married with someone who is my best friend. I hope this is useful for someone that feels like they are starting at 0 when it comes to dating, because that was me.
I'm happy for you bro. There's hope
What dating apps/sites did you use, if you dont mind me asking?
Happy to hear that!
I finally culminated to that point of confession and I felt miserable afterward because she couldn’t just tell me no. She made no points against liking me but also had no intention letting me down. I don’t think that was a healthy relationship to stick with for 3 years, but I also didn’t think of it as something I wanted a relationship with to start with. I didn’t realize my feelings until it was too late, and waited even longer because of complacency. Talk about a bad case of oneitis! Hearing someone say that outright instead of me mulling it over in my head repeatedly helped a lot. Im most sad about losing someone who was a good friend because I couldn’t deal with my emotions properly.
I have extreme fear of making a fool of myself. I don't even know why or who would laugh at me, I just feel like unless I absolutely nail it, I'm gonna regret even trying and the memory is gonna haunt me for years.
I can relate to that fear to some extent, but I will tell you one thing: the pain of realizing that you probably blew an opportunity is much greater than the pain of rejection. Also, try to remember that people don’t think about others as much as we think they do. As harsh as it sounds, the person you asked out will probably forget about you and the entire experience. There were probably several occasions when someone embarrassed themselves in front of you, but you just don’t care enough to remember.
@@unisonpaladin64 if they gave me a dollar for every time i led pass the opportunity to meet a potential partner, maybe i could pay a doctor to bring this broken heart to life.
To add to this, sometimes a girl just ain't feeling you that's just how it is. Just gotta move on and try again with someone else. Sometimes like 10 or 20 girls will say no until you get one that is down.
maybe for you, haha. 10 or 20? Damn, bro.
Takes me at least 5,000.
Only action I'm gettin' is when I slump over to the toilets and prepare to service the gloryhole, dayum.
@@DisemboweII Even if it takes 5,000 rejects bro. Self improvement and kinda looking for it at the same time is the key. I'm even asian and we're considered not attractive in the western world. The 20 girls thing was an example.
This is late, but fuck it bro! Even if takes 5000 rejects, theres 7 billion people in the world for a reason 💪🏽
@@nick72799 That's the spirit! I'm definitely with you there! You'll never know maybe you'll up your game in the process without even knowing. Improvement is ageless.
@@nick72799 You don't have a pool of 7 billion that's just dumb. You have factors of age, distance, language etc. 7 Billion🤣
Invest in yourself means work out for a lot of gamers. Once you prove to yourself that physical struggle makes you greater it becomes easier to recognize other challenges to grow from. That attitude toward challenge is, in my eyes, confidence.
Working on it boyos
Yeah, how much you can take physically is a good indicator/developer of what you're capable of mentally
Absolut load of crap. Lol
I can't believe I heard a Harvard psychologist use the word "Oneitis" and reference the red pill. Life is pretty funny.
the man treats gaming addiction. he's probably familiar with all sorts of incel degeneracy. hell, he probably knows what a coomer is too
@@kingsloth4106 hey, dont take what I said so personally
@@konkeydonged I am proffesional too but that doesnt mean you should limit yourself with certain language just to sound more proffesional ill to make my customers more comfortable and patients.
what is coomer? only know boomet
Whats the red pill?
I need to watch this every day. I've heard that women find self-improvement attractive. I don't know if that is true, but I've been focusing on that a lot recently. I just sorta expected that to make women attracted to me, and hopefully get me a match on a dating app, or get someone to approach me. Today I was at the PA Renaissance Faire, and saw so many women that I was thinking "Wow, if I only was even better in some way; maybe more muscle, maybe in an awesome costume, I might have a shot", not realizing that I would still need to approach them and ask them out... IDK I also have this perception that just asking someone out that I've never met before is creepy. While obviously it CAN be creepy, and I definitely don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, just being able to ask the damn question, not be pushy, and (for me) not be flirtatious (I lack social aptitude so I'm not going to venture into territory that puts me at higher risk of creep factor), that's all it takes. Its likely going to get me turned down. A lot. But that's OK.
OK... The Renaissance Faire was probably a bad example. A lot of people there are in costume, and I know that with cosplays at least, its easier for things to come off as creepy. In costume I imagine its not too different.
I have a friend that since he's broken up with his girlfriend, doesn't really think twice. He sees someone that he finds interesting and, even though he might have only talked to them for 10 minutes, just goes for it. I think its all coming together for me. Next time I meet someone who I think I might be interested in, I'm going to ask them out. Its going to be my first time ever asking someone out. By writing this down and commenting this, by having other people see it, I am hoping to make myself feel a mental obligation to pull through on this.
@Xan Hinojosa Its a struggle. I haven't found any social situation to be at recently. Especially with school projects ramping up. But pretty soon we go on break so that will give me some time to go do stuff.
Good luck! I hope it goes well, or at least you learn something from the experience
Aye good luck… I just don’t understand why is almost always the man the one that has to do all of this. Some girls might be attracted to you but if you never make the first move you’re 95% sure they won’t either.
Best of luck my man.
Yea i have 0 dating experience but even i know not to just go up and ask them the question. Talk to them for a bit and get acquainted, try to get to know them a bit, and THEN ask them in a smooth/casual manner. If you just walk up to a girl you find attractive and say "wanna go out with me" your gonna look creepy asf
12:53 that shes going to tell every other woman she knows how undateable you are, or shes going to get everyone's attention at the place and publicly humiliate and shame you amongst everyone else there and make it so you can never show your face there again.
Which happened before and not even in the context of dating. Just women being cruel to me.
I have absolutely observed this kind of behavior. Dr. K lays the smackdown himself at 14:52 -- this is the true fear, not rejection. If a man that women do not find attractive hits on a woman, it doesn't necessarily "make her feel good about herself," even if you did nothing wrong, and thus you "are" a "creeper," and "you need to know about that." "That's a problem."
RUclips algorithm has decided im a creeper with no social skills. NICE!
nice!
right? I'm in an LTR with a dude, why does it assume I'm tryna pick up women lmao
they got me correct like a book
Just walk up to them and explode.
Holy shit, I love how much you simplify this. Its a lot clearer now and a lot of my previous issues make sense
I really wish that it was the social norm for girls to ask guys out just as often as the vice versa
Why would they? Dating to men is like hunting, but to women its like an idol tycoon game. To women, approaching men is entirely redundant
As a guy with anxiety I really do feel that it’s hard to ask people out. But as a guy with empathy I feel that your statement only works with the hot girls and the average people like me prob have the same situation as you.
@@ScatterBrainedYouBetterFollow What about girls who don't get approached or girls who don't like the guys who approach her?
This. If a woman I wasn't even interested in asked me out, I would instantly be interested in her. The fact she had the confidence to ask means she might be worth it.
It's embarrassing for women to have to do that
8:05 dude holy shit you just said whats on my mind for 2 weeks. I've been in a class with a girl that I like for 1/5 months I was wondering what the hell am I going to say to her to ask her out these lines are perfect for my situation I'm going to ask her out in 3 days wish me luck guys
Just and update I finally asked her out and she liked it, I simply used 8:05 lines it works wonders I don't know how to thank Dr. K enough
Medivh good job man, and congrats
@@CryonicGaming TY
Woo!
@@M_Medivh That's awesome to hear dude. I'm in a similar boat myself. I'm gonna do the same thing as well on Monday. Also, what did you mean by 1/5 months?
Damn I kinda wanted to hear more on the "feeling worthy of dating". My struggle is I don't. That delves into some deeper more personal stuff though so I can see why he didn't go further than that.
One time, I went out swing dancing and a guy there asked me for a dance.
This dude was a complete stranger to me, and I had almost nothing to go on besides his looks - which I was not attracted to at all. Besides, I had already been dancing in high heels for a while and my feet were killing me. But he seemed so nervous and sweet when he asked. I felt incredibly flattered that a) he thought I was worth asking to dance, b) he felt I was worth being nervous about asking to dance, and c) he felt I was worth working up the nerve to ask anyway.
So I said yes.
We danced two songs together. He had no skill or rhythm. But he had the biggest smile on his face the entire time - and so did I.
He never told me his name. We never met again after that. It was twelve years ago and I still remember how happy he made me feel.
Ask her out.
This is pretty big bc all Ive ever heard is the call against being creepy and never what being creepy constitutes or how to fix it. I'm glad you made this.
Great advice but I have to disagree with this idea that developing romantic feelings for a friend over time is a bad thing, yes it doesn't work but why should it be considered a bad thing? Isn't it weirder to overly invest in a relationship with a stranger and feeling stuck in it because you've already started dating them but you don't really know them either? I feel weirder to flirt with strangers because its so directly obvious that its contrived and purely for dating reasons, whereas befriending them actually shows you're interested in their life, no man who gets 'friendzoned' after confessing is suddenly like 'well no issue then I can just stop talking to her', its a devastating feeling and its so difficult to manage because you still want to be friends with that person because yes, you do treat them like a human.
Sometimes it isn't a confidence issue at all, some of us actually have different methods of dating outside of 'finding the perfect moment between stranger and friend where you can ask them out because that's the rule'.
Idk man I don't think we need to keep telling men how to not be creepy, I think the entire dating paradigm could do with some revamping, why is the onus so heavily on men?
Fyi I have a girlfriend of over 4 years.
I felt like the advice of being direct and asking someone out was specifically for guys who already are sort of interested in the girl they want to approach and don't want to be "friendzoned" or viewed as "creepy". So I completely agree with you that there can be a natural progression of feelings from strong friendship to relationship, and it can be mutual and beautiful a lot of the time, I just think the advice given in this video was more catered towards guys who are already interested romantically but aren't being too direct about it and fall into the trap of being "the friend" while slowly falling more and more in love
he is talking about cases where the person started off interested and went into friendzone by his own will and that's what Dr.K is calling not ok. Nothing wrong with genuine friendship evolving into a relationship
That’s hilarious because I’ve had men do exactly that to me. Took them in under my wing and after nicely rejecting them they dipped.
Learnt my lesson! Don’t befriend straight men. They just want f.
The thing I fear the most is what I will feel inside myself after I asked someone out - that feeling of embarassment regarding what I say, HOW I talk, the body language I use, the face expressions I make and all the other factors that the girl (if she's paying attention a little) will notice.
I don't have any experience in this but the most crucial thing is that I hate almost every aspect of myself - I am goofy with girls, I stutter sometimes, I can't keep a conversation going and I have the bad habit of thinking too much on how I'm doing even in the middle of a conversation.
If I don't boost up my self-confidence I won't ever even dare to try to get to know a woman.
I feel like venting some of my thoughts. I think in the past (15 years old ) i was at the point of "im too scared to ask her out, what if i confirm my suspicion of being unlovable" like you said or "I literally can't do this right on my first attempt and will destroy my reputation if i fail". But now (23 years) I have been living with this mindset for so long that the dream of a girlfriend, intimacy or love has died. It doesn't even feel like a real thing that is achievable. As if dating a girl is exclusively a male fantasy. I have never witnessed a man getting into a relationship with a woman and I don't have a single male friend in a relationship. Everyone I know who is, just always was. It feels like this one thing that is supposed to be part of life but locked behind a hidden skill tree that was part of the preorder deluxe edition for life that i didnt buy and can never unlock.
Overall this comment is a pretty pointless attempt at venting some of my frustration with silly metaphors. But just think for a second. The conspiracy theory: "Sex is a lie"
Damn i should talk to someone...
Did you walk correctly the 1st time you tried? Life is a series of attempts with differing success. If you never try you can never win, and you don't really lose if you take each failure as gaining some xp, even if not as much xp as a success.
What do you have to lose if you try now?
May I just say that I've been in, and fallen out of 3 serious relationships so you can take "some guy on the internet" as evidence it's not a black and white case of people have none or 1 solid 1 forever 😁
I think you should talk to someone as you say at the end, you've acknowledged the issues which is the 1st, and biggest, step in getting through them.
All the best mate, hope it works out for you 👍
Hey thx for commenting. To be honest I was just shouting into the darkness. The talking to someone at the end was a joke too. As if my male pride would allow me to talk to a psychiatrist about trying to date women. I feel creepy even thinking about it.
Thx for the encouragement even if I have already heard everything you said before. I am one of those helpless intelligent people you know. The type to overthink and never act. Tbh I'm really curious how you got into three relationships in the first place. I feel lke I have never met a girl that was "single" ever lol. And my current lifestyle causes me to never meet any girl at all aside from the streets@@danbrown4420
@@SpieleSuchti894 No worries mate, some of the stuff you said resonated with a younger version of me, and I hoped I could maybe offer another perspective from a few more years down the line (I'm 31, nearly a boomer I know...).
Admitting I needed therapy and signing up to it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do personally, I can totally understand what you mean. Maybe you don't need to delve into that stuff with a therapist if you feel too uncomfortable, and could just try a course of CBT initially?
I am what most consider "intelligent" too, and I used to feel very helpless, particularly at the same point in life as you are at. Have a look into stoic philosophy, Meditations by Marcus Aurelius is a game changer, deffo recommend that.
Admittedly times have changed since I last got into a relationship lol, I've not long come out of the last one but am doing well mentally, it'd been a long time coming tbf. But all of them have happened when I've just encountered a girl in a public social setting, caught her eye and we've both done the classic smirk and glance away immediately after (a dead giveaway that someone is into you), then just hit off a convo from there. I think it's important not to try and force these things (probably not great to hear if you're super lonely, sorry), which is what I felt I was doing when I briefly tried online dating. I was thinking about going to some volunteering events soon to see if there's any nice women there aha, and even if there isn't I will do some good for the world and feel better :)
Do you mean you encounter women in public or the type of women that "belong on the streets" as people say now lol? If just the former, then try to catch some eyes, if you get some smirks, take the confidence boost, if you dont then don't stress it, you got some reps in. After a bit you will feel comfortable to talk to women and then flirt, 1 beer may help if in a bar, but don't overdo it hahaha.
Dunno where I'm going with this now, and may be rambling at this point. If you want to talk further I'd be happy to take this away from a public comment section somehow. No worries if not though, I hope my rantings could be of some use.
🤘
female here, most helpful dating advice I have heard was from Matthew Hussey (has tons of videos on yt) and he said that define the kind of partner that you want and then critically think about yourself if such a person would be attracted to you as well. So e.g. if you want an extroverted person that is the life of the party, I know that this person would not be interested in me long term because I am just not. Then rethink if there are things that you could work on, what are things that you will not change about yourself though and maybe re-evaluate of what you want in a partner. Next question, what would that sort of person like to do in his/her freetime and where would he/she be so that you could go to these places and see if there is somebody interesting. Helped me to find a partner really quickly, because I knew also what sort of questions I needed to ask, what qualities to look out for, but ofc there is always a part of luck as well.
i got ridiculed by whole class for asking out girl in primary school even tho i know it was a long time ago(i am 18 now), every time when i think about asking girl out i have panic fear of rejection i can't fight, that situation from primary school also caused body dismoprhia, so even tho i lost more than 20 pounds and now i weigh 130pounds with 5'3" height i still feel fat and unatractive, also got bulimia from trying to lose weight. i tried asking few girls out but it always ended with no, in middle school i heard "Ewwwww" instead of no and it made my self-esteem even worse and deepend my fear of rejection, now i can't even talk normaly with girls beacuse i always feel like they hate me and laughing about my appearance, i really want to change it but therapy isnt an option beacuse i am trying to get into military
I understand the whole "what are you afraid of? that she's going to say no?" - which is true but totally looking at this with tunnel vision; there *are* a lot more things that can and probably will happen unless it's a totally random person at a bar or club. What I'm afraid of (some of this from personal experience and some observed experience) is ...
1) That the person isn't actually interested in you - they're leading you on so they can get you to say you like them so they and other people can then make fun of you for it (happens a lot in workplaces).
2) They'll sleep with you just so they can tell other people how good you are or what size you are (another workplace nightmare or just friends of friends/acquaintances; it doesn't matter if you're "good" in both respects, the fact that they strip you of your privacy really wears away at your confidence; and also, I don't think "doesn't matter, had sex" at all makes up for that paranoia of who knows what about you now).
3) If it's online, getting catfished by someone with a fake account (e.g. a coworker, someone you graduated with, etc. people within your network) and showing your texts or other communication to people you know to be made fun of.
There's more examples, but those are the big ones I've encountered. Ultimately they all boil down to doing X to learn more about you and make fun of you, which on its own seems harmless (just embarrassing and it just wears away at your ego), but in actuality it then sometimes goes a step further and people that *would have* otherwise been interested in you now get to know intimate (possibly false) info about you that influences their perception of you and now they don't pursue anything. Also, if you're above them in promotion at the same company, it can backfire on you job-wise which is scary.
It sounds like your workplace is a really shitty environment, where do you work?
lol, the very slim chance of a woman sleeping with you just so she can somehow make fun of you later on, is the very least of men who are not attarctive worries...
Stop dating people in the workplace. There are so many women around.
@@TheHappybunny671 Spoken like a true high schooler. Once you get past college, all you have to meet people (friends or partners) is where you work. There simply isn't time to meet people elsewhere, and if you do find the time to do something and go alone, everybody looks at you funny because you either came alone or are older than the rest of the group.
You just approach them like you would any other person. By dwelling on the fact she is a woman, you're doing it wrong.
that gets you nowhere and you know it lol otherwise we'd all be dating our bros
*by viewing her a means to an end, you're doing it wrong
@@kaptenlemper exactly. You meet women because you want to be good friends. Romantic relationship comes later.
To be honest, i have watched too much porn so when i look at a woman my eyes darts from her eyes to her chest and all i can think about is sexual stuff...even if i dont particularly find her attractive. I do that to 90% of women, it creeps me out. I wonder how those women feel too. And in my mind, i instantly start building images of the person and how life would be with them in my life and how cool they will realize i am. I wish i would stop that but i dont know how to
Get an app or a browser that lets you block websites and block the porn sites. Imo nutting is alright just use your imagination
This is some good advice yo, I love what you bring to the community honestly such a good idea! Love the content
Very good advice for asking someone out without being a creep. Another consideration that is sort of implied in this video is some people prefer where they meet like keeping it organic instead of randomly asking this someone out who you've barely known.
I resonate with what Dr K said at the end. Focus on her happiness by making her feel better about herself, that way when you ask her out you can have it in your head that you're helping her feel better which will come out in your body language, even if she says no you've still done a kind act for her self esteem, and her seeing you concerned with her happiness will also make you more attractive to her and better your chances, win win.
I know you watching this Mr. Fedmyster
now he needs this more than ever lmao
@@reswagl2190 aw fuck man, still can't believe it. 🤦
@@vie9962 yea shits crazy in 2020
Man this dont age well
@@maurycohen it's painful 😔
Dr K literally throwing the old "Just go talk to her bro"
Thanks. Dr K. This helped me realise that actually in my head I don't think I'm worth dating and I think this is why I haven't been asking women out. But now I know I I want to work on improving how I view myself.
"So the friendzone starts with a lack of confidence" Can confirm this
It's really interesting because I've watched this video in the past, but back then I wasn't as receptive as I am today, and especially I did not go to a therapist who could help me pinpoint the reason for my shortcomings when it comes to women. And now that I know what it is, I can say that this segment addresses that EXACTLY. I don't feel like I'm good enough to date even though I never got any negative feedback from the outside and in fact it's quite the opposite: I have several friends (men and women) who enjoy my company and are constantly inviting me to events, I don't look half bad, and in fact I could even be considered handsome, I've been rejected a couple of times, but every time there was an absolutely valid reason that had nothing to do with me etc.
I'm kind of paralyzed at the idea of talking to a woman I like but I don't know, it's like I need somebody's permission or have to earn the right to do it. I feel that finding her attractive isn't a good enough reason because what if she thinks I'm superficial or only like her for her body? When in reality it's probably not as slimy as I think it is and I wouldn't be doing anything bad. In fact, if my friend breaks the ice for me I don't feel bad, and the only sensible explanation for that is that I think it's appropriate when other people do it, but not when I do it. And the only sensible explanation for that is a severe lack of self-confidence. I still feel like I have a very long way to go, but knowing is half the battle :)
Yeah same if there was a certified degree course out there that would do the trick for me.But heres what I can do:
Certificate of Qualification for Going Forward
I as a member of the esteemed "Not Good Enough Club"(NGEC) would like to say that its been a long time you have stayed with us that is why we deem you qualified for the greater project called Going Forward. The journey hasn't ended but rather begun. Keep your head high as you can make it stuff do change after all. Hope for a smiling future of yours.
Signed
@@shivankarsrijansingh2155 that's a very adorable way of saying that, thanks a lot
I think my summed up answer for our friend who asked the question is: Yes, focus on yourself as your 1st priority, but also get used to asking out a girl who you get attracted to. Basically, prioritize yourself, and ask women out as a side thing. And for us men, dating is just a numbers game. Realize that you WILL get rejected probably the majority of the time. So get used to rejection, because statistically it will happen. It's a numbers game because if you ask enough girls out, most of them will reject you, but some of them will go out with you. And that's all that matters. You don't need 100% success rate, you don't need to be able to attract EVERY girl you meet and NEVER get rejected. All you need is to ask girls out and get rejected until one of them says yes and decides to date you. That's why rejection isn't really a big deal. If an attractive girl rejects you, she's not the first, and definitely not the last. Next week you might see another attractive girl who might not reject you.
As I said, purely a numbers game.
He is so right. I got in some complicated situations with some male friends, after I was single (9 years relationship). I got invited in meeting with other friendgroups, I feel socialiced after a long time. The realitionships were with 0 hints of interest romance, they were only nice to me and I feel social and happy. The problems start then I was alone with them. It got really weird, they try to get romantic and toutchy. Then I rejected them und told that I wasnt interested in a relationship, the invites droped to 0, no chatting, no contact. I was only meat in the potential girlfriendmarket. Happend 3 times... so I gave up to have good male relationships, because I dont want to get hurt and they dont get hurt.
That's a shame you felt outcast. This is kind of how things are. Men don't look for women to be friends with. Friendships can happen, but that's now why men ask women to events or approach them.
@@RunBayou it sucks for both parties honestly. But...if women are people too, then why can't men be friends with women? And women friends with men? As long as the boundaries within the relationship are clear and work for both parties involved then it shouldn't be a problem.
Females cant be friends with males of the same age because you will always be a potential partner in a mans fucked up brain thats just how it is.
Women are guaranteed a partner 100% of the time, but for men there are no guarantees other than death and taxation. It benefits a woman to have guy friends or orbiting resource dispensers. The guy confiding in all the women and having lots of female friends will never be seen as a dating prospect for any of them. If a guy and a girl are both already partnered with healthy relationships, then that is the only time that they can truly be friends.
Nah honestly thats on you for not noticing they wanted to smash, don’t blame guys because you can’t tell that they want to smash.
I barely ask out girls because I’m so self conscious of how I might come off.
Screw that Dude! If you're authentic when doing it you won't come across as anything else then authentic.
If you know that and cant do anything about it Dont think about it ... The problemwould go after a shower and food👍
@Zach Comstock restraining order speedrun pagchamp.
As a female just flat out if you like a person beyond asethetic attraction and are like this girl is really really cool then be like "hey I think you're pretty great and I want to get to know you better, would you like to (insert activity here) on (insert date and time here)?". And if she says no then that's okay, just know I am proud of you for trying. Be respectful and the worst that can happen is she says no but you know you probably made her day better. We struggle with self love too and sometimes we think we are garbagé, but knowing someone got up the courage to ask and finds us interesting on a romantic level is really uplifting! Also personal opinion, go for nice girls, the nerdy ones even, because we are the girls that will play lego star wars with you all night and be super hyped about it. We'll find your passions cool and we have passions (that are a lil nerdy) too.
@@derpyderp2627 You probably made her day better?? This might be the case for some very young woman on a college campus with low self-esteem, but she still said no because she wasn't attracted to the guy... Most of the time it seems like harassment when an unattractive dude does it in public spaces that is not school-related
be attractive, handsome, confident, and lucky
- duh, so simple
@NimaA lol, not really
@NimaA I don't think you get me, I am quite attractive (or so I've been told) and it's definitely _not_ good enough. Maybe being extremely attractive would be enough, but even then...
- They will still find you creepy if they don't feel safe, or if you act weird or whatever...
- I have problems with communication, social clues, anxiety .....
- Real life is not Twilight, lol.
Loved the advices and i'll definitely have that in mind!
People don't know what to do or how to react to someone saying no. A lot of people have little to no experience asking other people out. In most of their heads they only imagine the possibility of a yes and the glee that comes with it. But the reality is no is very likely. And that word will have you caught up and nearly petrified if you hear it. Most people aren't prepared for it, despite being the ones to ask someone out. And that's not even mentioning the awkward future between yourself and this other girl. Unrequited love can be one of the sadest things people experience, but most people just don't know or have any experience with how to deal with it. When you confess your love for someone, it's the equivalent of telling the other person that you view them a lot higher then you. The ultimate shot to your confidence, status, and worth. When the person says yes, they most likely don't see you that low and the "power balance" between the two is restored. When someone says no, you feel like even more shit, this other person has a reinforced idea now that they are worth more to you. There now becomes a major "power imbalance" which is the catalyst to potentially creating more problems in the future.
Humans aren't made to scoff at the idea that you practically prostrated yourself in front of someone, put yourself beneath someone else and confessed their worth and importance to you. This isn't something most people can just smile after and be like "yeah, okay." However, I think the more you educate yourself on the idea of power imbalances, you realise how much more worth you deserve to give yourself. These days, especially with technology and social media or dating apps, women are given the ultimate ego boosts, confidence boosts and the idea that they are worth more then you. i think this adds even more to the struggles that most men have with dating. The important thing to take away from this is, don't put yourself down. View yourself higher and don't purposefully put yourself down in front of others. Always expect to be turned down, always expect to fail, but move on anyway. In my honest opinion i feel like maybe society would be better if people never complimented and maybe never even insulted/disrespected each other. With that I believe this modern day "power" system would take a dive and a lot of these problems with dating wouldn't be a thing. But that'll never happen as long as simps exist. So, never think less of yourself and never put yourself down in front of others. No matter what.
Damn dude you spitting that truth. Really opened my eyes. Thx
This video was a wake up call for me. I am in that exact situation where I am mentally and financially ready for a relationship. But I cannot seem to find one because I am too afraid to be rejected.
Congrats at getting there brother, I'm only halfway there
@Mrgazzer09 I have the exact same problem bro.
@Mrgazzer09 Relatable.
bro you got this i believe in you!
@Mrgazzer09 If you stop worrying so much when you approach a girl and listen to what she says, i promise you will make meaningful progress. Im not saying you will get laid, but its those moments when you start to figure out how conversations should go.
12:00 “I’m a married man and I just said yes to the screen.” Lmfao
that always happens to me!
I go up to a girl
and then
I start COOOMING VIGOROUSLY!
dude!!! where is this from?? this is gotta be a reference it's so familiar...
@@avr4h From the 'Life of a Coomer video' based off of the Coomer meme
rofl
Relatable
Lmao
Very insightful video which clears up quite a few things. There's a few issues though. The difficulty can be 'when' to ask a woman out'. If its at a event or house party, you don't want to ask too early in the evening, but if you leave it too late she might have gone home!
Yo this is actually so good I’m saving this
Same dude. I'm gonna try it out real, real soon, hopefully tomorrow if I see her.
@@guybien4621 Good luck my man
@@FireFox-eu1hq Tysm bro. I actually did stop by and see her. I didn't directly ask her out because I only see her while she's working, and I didn't want to put her on the spot. I talked to a few different girls beforehand and they said they wouldn't want to be asked out while at work, so they said to just leave her my number so that she isn't pressured to reply right away. I went up to her and said, "Hey, I think you're really cool and have enjoyed our conversations together. Here's my number. We should get a coffee sometime." and she said "Aw, thanks" and then I left without applying pressure. It was really hard and I felt super nervous, but I'm glad I got it done with because I'm 21 and had never asked a girl out before. This was a few days ago, so there's a fair chance it's not gonna happen. Of course it's pretty disheartening, but I'm glad I at least tried even though I nearly ran away.
I used to be afraid of coming off as rude or creepy. But by forcing myself to do it more and more I have come to realize that not only is it perfectly fine, but as you said, it's gonna make them feel amazing.
Yeah cause you're good looking dude.
So you forced yourself to do something you believed would hurt other people? And you only came to realize that you weren't hurting other people AFTER you spent a long time doing something you believed was hurting other people?
@@YouthRightsRadical Yes but I only subconsciously thought that, it wasn't really a conscious thought, it was some internalized bullshit. I basically changed the thing I didn'thave direct control over.
@ So your advice would be to hurt people? To do things you believe will cause harm to other people on the off chance that you're wrong about that?
Sounds like something that a moral person would have a great deal of difficulty doing. Presumably why the Red Pill advice spends so much time on misogyny and dehumanizing women. Because you have to do something you believe to be harmful to them and so you have to dehumanize them in order to get over that hurdle.
And that would also rather suggest that all the "treat women as people" and "stop being misogynistic" advice is actively counterproductive and holding people back from solving their problem.
8:05 i think i want a date with dr.K. damn that was smooth
Mannnnn Dr. K is my hero.
This was probably the most useful video I have watched. I asked a girl to dance with me at a club after watching this, I got rejected, I expected that, but now the fear or awkwardness is no longer there.
Thanks a lot Dr K.
Sprint towards them and yell, “Hey, it’s me Goku!”
hEy
😏
Hey
hey 😏 hey 😏 hey 😏 hey 😏 hey 😏
Hey
Hey handsome ;)
I dont think people have issues of asking someone out and flirt because they fear rejection itself. Its more along the lines of trying to avoid the discomfort of uncertainty. The lack of control and not knowing what comes next. A "yes" might be just as terrifying for the inexperienced as a "no"", because being single is all they know about. Being in a situation youre not used to can feel pretty bad even though you have a deeper desire of actually making this work out. I used to be pretty shy and awkward and avoided approaching girls and be straight forward because i feared to make myself look stupid.
If i were confIdent n my flirting skills then i can take a rejection and think its her loss. But i dont want to create an awkward situation where i dont know what to do.
That's exactly right, it's not fear of rejection as everyone says, it's fear of awkwardness. Anyone understands that a "no" doesn't mean the end of the world, it's the feeling of putting yourself in a very uncomfortable and unpredictable situation that's scary.
Well, this must be solid advice. It has no dislikes.
Idk about other people but to me I feel like my problem isn't asking a girl out and being rejected, its actually her accepting and then being rejected after she gets to know me. I know, like Dr K said, I do feel like I'm not worth dating, but being rejected after someone gets to know you is terrifying
For me, with past trauma there's this intense deeply ingrained feeling of shame for being at all interested or attracted to someone. What ends up happening is it feels like there's this wall, something that blocks me and completely prevents me from making any kind of move. I WANT to say something, I try to work myself up to say it, but something is just completely blocking me from doing it.
fear of rejection has ruined my life and what I would give to have another chance
The story from 3:00 to 5:15 is exactly what I did, but I never fell for that again. It was the last time I ever loved someone.
so my S.O. is kinda shy naturally and now we've been together a long long time I know they can also be fairly insecure (like everyone can be) but when we met one thing that made me feel comfortable was that the ball was always in my court. they made their intentions clear without being pervy, and then said 'but no pressure I will be okay if it's a no'. feeling like a no won't crush the person (even if it temporarily will) makes it so much easier to say yes.
I'm gonna disagree a little with the "girls dont find being asked out creepy." I've had situations where me asking women our have caused them to be depressed because they have a thought of "why can I only attract men like him" and this is usually girls who are into video game or stuff I'm interested in.
Bro, that's not your problem, that's their problem. If you ask her out casually aka not being creepy, you've done nothing wrong. My advice is, going in with an open mentality, expect the no and if it comes just leave with a smile and say "that's okay, see you around". Even if she thought you were creepy at first your confidence will mess up with her head and in rare cases she might come up to you and apologize.
If u ugly dont even attempt to ask a girl out
Yep. I've felt this myself too since the only women that are attracted to me are trailer park chicks that are way too young or way too old for me. No girls my own age even care that I exist. I might as well just die.
F
@@uberd3323 well with that attitude I am not surprised.
I struggle with it taking a very long time to fall for someone. I can look at a girl and think, hmm I might be intrested in her in the future. And I'm able to flirt. But it's always scary to lead someone on when maybe after a while I find out there aren't any feelings developing
You have the right to take as much time as you need, as does she. Communicate. Getting to know someone takes times and you should give yourself that time. If it was too long for her, then it was not a good match in the long term. One more very important thing: Forget social norms in terms on what you "should" do in a relationship. Those make people into emotional cripples. Talk about what you each want and go from there.
the problom is that l'm kinda of a lonely guy. and l'm tottaly fine with that but l'm just quiet and l dont talk a lot so l do lack the way of saying things l guess lol its hard for me to open up
l do workout and takecare of myself and trying to open a Business
MrFran same. I don't know how to keep a convo going, which punches me in the gut everytime I meet a girl who shows interest.
If you can't talk about yourself, ask questions. "What are you doing for fun?" And then show interest. You shouldn't fake it, but if you actually like the person you would be interested in whatever they are interested in.
@@leonawroth2516 yes thank you l acually talked to a few girls today XD so l'm gonna make sure things gonna keep that way
@@zackcvfair l could help you with that if you'd like too. add me on discord : MrFran#9769
For me, asking people that i don't know personally a bit doesn't have the problem of "She might say no" but more "she might call the police on me" (something that i've been threathened with multiple times before, without even interacting). Like, i feel like im fine, but evidently i make people around me, especially of opposite sex, feel like im some sort of creep. (The whole "do they feel good" thing. They don't. Thats sort of the problem.).
Then when i know people more, the fear goes from "might just straight up think i'm a Criminal" to "Might think i never was their Friend", which maked it hard to commit to asking, since losing friends is such a bad time.
You make things so simple man. Thank you so much.
Girls love heavy breathing do that
Jokes on you I'm very unfit
Finally a good side for my asthma
@@harrylong2796 *kills women by sitting on them*
Legit though, if you are breathing hard at yoga or something physical, a lot of women actually do like that
Lmao
I have a hard time believing any girls are into me because of Aspergers. I just feel way too awkward for flirting to be worth it. Sometimes I can seem passably normal, but I think the more people get to know me the more weird I seem.
The problem is I don’t have a job
What would be better if you had a job?
@@3racha3 Money
@@anewbeggin no shit
So you know what your next step is
Your job is irrelevant for most women.
Great video as always, but what if:
- all the girls I know and find attractive are taken
- I have trouble meeting new people, and even if I didn't, the probability that a girl I meet will share my core values (which is extremely important to me) is minuscule
Move
So are we to die alone man? We'd have to eventually settle down with someone. But I hear you, I'm just on the same boat looking for a shore 😂
@@nokivcon3251 No you keep looking even if it means you have to sacrifice for it
Keep looking.
And if all women are disagreeing with your core values… maybe reevaluate them?
Thank u Dr. K, I needed this one
This is a great video that will not only help youn men but older ones as well. Keep up the great work. 👍
I was too afraid to ask someone out but I found the best wingman ever and he helped me build up enough confidence to go over to someone and just ask
Now i realize you just need to ask
Flirting requires confidence AND knowing the right balance of very complicated social cues? Phew, I'm toast.
i guess i will die alone and sad then, i dont think i can learn this at 25.
this is exactly me... wtf no wonder i'm a 26 year old virgin. I gave up on pursuing romantic relationships about 2 years ago because I thought no woman was going to ever going to like me. I did exactly like you mentioned: went to the internet and asked for advice and was told to focus on myself which is what I'm doing right now...
good luck
Dont do that man, focusing on yourself just takes you away from the frontlines which is where you should be if you are trying to find a girl. Its trial and error my dude.
Focusing on yourself is such cliche advice bro. "just focus on yourself bro" "just up and talk to her bro" man these people dont know what it means to be like the other person.
@@razatiger22 this is the worst advice ever.
@@wow-jz7me No its not, hes been "focusing on himself" his entire life which is why he lacks the ability to approach women.
Sometimes you just need to get out of your own head and make a move.
The whole point about her feeling amazing when you ask her out is true. If you start focusing on that, asking them out is easier and the rejection feels less severe. People want to feel good, so girls won't be off-put by you asking them out.
This is awesome advice - thank you!