I used to get up of bed very early and eager to go outside. NOW, I stay under my blankets, praying that no one knocks on my door. I CAN'T face the idea of going out and seeing people.
I think the worst part is being anxious about being anxious. Feels like an endless cycle, but I know it's not. I hope we all come to realize this again. I wish everyone the best ❤
This is SO me. It started at Ge 33, now I'm 75. Still have extreme anxiety, panic attacks, agoraphobia, the works. drs., therapists, medications, still stuck in this fractured world. It has taken my life over. It's miserable. After listening to you this morning, at least I don't feel so alone. Thanks.
Hello. I’m 71, and I totally understand how you feel. I listen to Dr Scott and he’s so encouraging. I wish I had found someone like him 50 years ago. Do you feel like it’s too late for you now? I feel as though why put in all the work at this age, when I’m at the end of my life. I hope you see this and reply.
I can't even do that. I'm so useless and lost when trying to do even basic things. I'd literally just be a detriment to helping others because I'm incompetent. I'm such garbage even other people won't want my help doing anything.
@@SueDonim-iy6ml You poor thing! I wish I could give you a hug. Maybe volunteer at something you're interested in - I volunteered at the food bank when I retired - even if it's just for an hour. You will improve.
Mine is associated recently, again, with driving. (Crippling panic attacks) from ptsd..(car accident)...i keep pushing through by the grace of God, until it wears off.
I understand. I was in a major car crash as a passenger and had multiple injuries. It's taken a lot of years of exposure therapy and CBT to tackle my PTSD to even drive locally. I just cannot drive on the highway anymore as my knee jerk reaction to bad drivers then makes me a dangerous driver. I've accepted this now even though it was my passion to drive long distances, get away places plus also my previous career as a sales area manager. I am happy tackling efforts to drive locally. I hope you learn to manage this. I truly empathise.
In my 43 years of feeling anxious and depressed you are the only person that has explained everything in a way i can understand and given the tools to help heal. You are an absolout gift and a blessing to offer your knowledge for free, you must have helped thousands to cope better. thank you x
As a child of a mother with agoraphobia, I learned (A)that the world is scary and (B)that if you let your fear take the lead you’re going to miss out on a lot. My mother couldn’t even make a trip to the grocery store 5 blocks away when I was growing up. I didn’t understand what her problem was until I was a teenager and experienced my first unexplained panic attack that hit me out of the blue. Still to this day I experience these attacks, often when I’m driving, and yea it’s scary. But when I was a teen I vowed that I would not allow my anxiety and fear hold me back. I missed out on a lot growing up because of my mother’s mental illness and I didn’t want that life. I just allow myself to experience the panic attack because I never know when it’s going to happen. Most days I’m fine and then other days not so much, but it has become easier to deal with. I’ve learned how to cope with it and I know it’s usually temporary. I definitely think it is hormonal related because now in my mid 40’s there has been an increase in anxiety/panic attacks just as when I was a teen. But I will survive this. 💪
You are very strong. I admire you. As far as your mother - people do not understand what it's like to deal with something that debilitating - unless they've "been there"
I totally feel what you described constantly and end up in my room in my bed reading alone and just fine...but I should not be there!! I'm so paralyzed by fear and anxiety. Now I really understand it is NOT healthy to be in this bed relaxing. So I will practice your tips and stop being so reluctant to do what is best for me and get out in the world!!! Make money moves and crush the Boulder of fear anxiety!! SLAY!!
I am having a Christmas party at my house this Saturday. I am feeling anxious about and wandering why i decided to do this. I know that we need this. This past year was terrible. We lost a few family members. We need to have family gatherings that dont involve death. It will be nice to gather the family and enjoy each others company. 😊
I don’t think we need to do anything, especially things we don’t want to. Can you identify the need for the need? Can it be ok to not see family? Or maybe it is more that you can’t be yourself in front of family. Can it be ok for you to just be anxious in front of family?
Dr Scott..please never stop these videos..i feel like i can change my life thanks to you..have had anxiety and depression for years and never understood why i do certain behaviors..u make me understand..i keep refering back to certain videos when i get lost again...i would never have gone to my own Doctor and things had got bad,,im 48 and you are my hero..thank you so much..,,most of your vidoes i feel you are talking directly to me,,,thank you from Cornwall England
This channel was just suggested in my feed recently, and I wish I had found it sooner. The tips and tricks are very helpful and laid out in layman's terms, which is appreciated. Thank you for this content.
I’ve had social anxiety my whole life, but didn’t know what it was until 2017 when I was diagnosed. If I’m out in public with someone I know close to me, I’m mostly okay. But having to talk to strangers or to be in a store or other public place alone is horrifying and makes me have a panic attack. Before the pandemic, I was doing exposure therapy, and I even had job interviews (I didn’t get a job, but it was good practice). I was improving. But now, my anxiety is worse than it was before. I’m trying to do better. But I constantly feel like a failure and the family disappointment.
I have C-PTSD and the worst part for me is agoraphobia. When i get nervous, i lose control of my bowels even if I'v been already. Massive challenge for me to go anywhere and do anything, it's ruined my life. So far. You made some great points regarding the "variables", interesting, great video, thank you 👍
@@MoonSpinners I'm very sorry to hear that. Since I posted this, I'v had a heart attack completely out of the blue and it's made everything worse in many ways. I wish you well 🙌
@@OffGridMadMan …I’m so sorry about your heart attack, I hope you make a full recovery. My only tip that works is to not be too hard on yourself, which is easier said than done. I get so angry when I’m anxious and try and stop the feelings, which don’t help at all. The more you try and stop being anxious the more anxious you get. I try and tell myself that it’ll pass, it won’t be as bad forever, and accept it. These tips have helped me, but I tend not to follow them myself all the time 😂 it’s easy to go off course and end up in a heap on the floor, but I take comfort in knowing I’m not alone, millions of people are just as bad, if not worse than us. Just remember, it’s not your fault, you can’t help being the way you are. 👍
I have terrible anxiety and whenever something triggering happens, it makes me feel like the world is ending. I stop everything, trying to fight that anxiety but that's the thing, I try to stop it, avoid it. In the end, I have my world shrinking a bit further, not only I am left with pending work which makes me underconfident, but also I have validated my anxiety.
It's already helpful to see comments from other anxious people that are in a similar situation. My therapy actually exacerbated my anxiety. Finding out that people who were supposed to be safe - weren't, sent me on a downward spiral. I'm taking very, very small steps in exposure therapy, starting with online meetings but with an unknown crowd. Just recording a video with a voiceover is such a massive achievement already. But that's all I can do for the time being.
Thank you so much. I feel paralyzed from anxiety and have a terrible closed in world. I am so unhappy. You've hit the nail on the head for me. It's such an awful paralysis. Your teaching has explained so much. Your understanding of the sickness is comforting. I will try my best. I don't want to live this way. I found this came upon me after 4 family deaths. Could this have caused this? I never used to be this way.
I've been struggling with worsening anxiety, and I find myself isolating in a small room. The thought of meeting new people and even simple tasks feels overwhelming. I want to live more freely, but I feel trapped and scared to face the outside world.
I'm in a constant state of anxiety and fear/freeze mode. I have all the symptoms of CPTSD and PTSD combined but how my body responds to perceived danger has been changing over the years. I was much braver in the past, much more social and if I reacted at all, my 'go to' mode was fight/flight. Now it's mostly freeze with lots of fawning and inability to leave home without some extra anxiety which only goes back to its regular level when I get back home. When I was young, at least I didn't fear the world as much as I do now even though people hurt me terribly (I was gang raped as a teenager). I stopped working 2 years ago and at 48 I still live with the person responsible for my CPTSD - my narcissistic and unloving mother. I just feel like I can't move on, I'm in prison of my own limited perception of the world. I used to work remotely and that was very helpful and satisfying but my profession is slowly dying (machines taking over translations jobs) and I'm starting to realize how unemployable I have become. I have no money for therapy and I don't intend to take any medications but I always remember how wonderful it felt when I lived abroad. I have an academic degree but I was working as a housekeeper in a hotel and it didn't really bother me because at least I was free and far from traumagenic environment of my famiy home and far from my xenophobic and judgenental country I was brought up in. I'm seriously thinking of moving abroad again when my son graduates high school and starts university next year. I'm just scared of my own shadow at this point but there are also actual difficulties and barriers that moving abroad at my age involves. Dear karma, please let me be born to a nice Japanese family in my next life 😊
I totally relate to fear. I think you're very brave taking steps to leave this country even though you're afraid "of your own shadow". Living in this country, and the insanity and high stress, has contributed to my problems.
OhLordyItsJordy once said, "Call your own bluff" and that's what I've been living by. Sure, I'm anxious to ever step out the door, but I "call my own bluff" on all the things I'm imagining could go wrong. Super helpful along with this video :)
I have had arguments with my neighbour for a few years.. she's now in hospital struggling to breath I feel absolutely rotten that I've been that horrible to a person. I suppose it takes something like this to understand your bullying behaviour. Now I'm full of anxiety on how to deal with things. I truly hope she pulls through 🙏 for herself and family.. please God give her a speedy recovery. Nothing is worth worrying about
I seem to be different. I have always been "tough", and force myself to do things that make me anxious, but everything always ends up even worse, and the anxiety is endless.
Your best video Doc! I feel better reading how other people suffer with anxiety. I had much less anxiety when i smoked cigarettes,, but i quit 12 years ago😂
Dealing with anxious situations that you can label is easier to handle. But what about anxiety that is present for no apparent reason. Waking with anxiety and going to bed with it. Maybe it’s part of our genetic make-up?
Wisdom is paramount when you have an anxiety disorder. In other words it's knowing when to take risks and face your fears and when to take time out and relax. If you are feeling exhausted and depressed you need to take time out and rest. I refer to it has soothing and striving periods!
I had to cancel conducting a training session on prevention of child abuse (something I’ve done close to 100 times and have a passion for) because I started feeling the weight in my chest accompanied by bad dreams. I can’t figure out why THIS time it was overwhelming to the point I felt I had to back out. I think I did the right thing in this instance because that is a topic that is very personal for me and I didn’t think I could retain my composure to get through the class. Did I wimp out or did I listen to my body? I’m 64 so my experiences were a long time ago and hashed out in many years of therapy.
People's judgments keep me isolated. I live in nyc and this city is overpopulated with nosey jerks. I've been dealing with this since the early 2000's and feel frozen in life.
My anxiety is related to the reality that I will lose my precious pet if 29 years. He has been sick a lot lately. It keeps me awake all night, because I’m constantly thinking about how bad it will hurt. Can anyone help with this? It’s constantly looming on the horizon.
I don't mean to be dramatic, but you may have just changed my life. I have suffered from anxiety and depression all of my life and have tried medication, therapy, and a variety of different methods. The only thing that works is: action. Avoiding what needs to be done. It has only gone away when I actually do it. You confirmed this. Thank you so much.
It is a slippery slope Becomes a habit and habits are hard to break Careful what you say to yourself and what you practice you will become it. BUT it can be turned around. It’s like going on vacation and when you get back trying to get into the work schedule again is torture We become numb to the pain lol. Endure. Getting free makes it hard to go back lol Even with things you really want to do. I’m sitting here typing this instead of getting ready for a show I WANT to do!
Thank you for sharing how you manage your anxiety and sense of self. I go in and out. I also sometimes feel how do I have the right to feel like this when so many others are worse off. Be careful who you share your inner self with. Someone who is also struggling and you think will be most compassionate can turn out to be the most belittling person. Talk to a confident person cause there is a real chance they have overcome anxiety and we all swing back and forth. Avoidance is a killer. Unsuccessful people encourage me to join them. Forget about that. It seems loving and helpful but it is self serving so they have company. I’m left to grapple on my own at a deadline. Have hope a vision of your best self and know you can achieve it. Never give up unless it doesn’t serve you. Give up on anxiety not your goals 💜 going to work now🙏🏻
Did you simply tell yourself you're pretty or did you genuinely FEEL pretty? There's plenty of things I've tried to tell myself before because it's the right/healthy thing to want to feel or believe, but I said it without actually believing it.
This is literally me. It started out as social anxiety, but now it’s more anxiety of being alive. It’s like I just can’t catch a break, and I’m a shut in now too..
Same. Before 2020 I only had social anxiety and then now it's health anxiety, panic disorder and a bunch of other stuff that has made me feel mentally unstable. I always get that uneasy feeling. Unsure how to explain it but that feeling that something is always wrong even when there's literally nothing wrong. I also feel like I have developed a strange form of paranoia as well ever since 2020. I've never once felt that way in my whole life. I sometimes start to randomly shake out of nowhere. I have had head pressures, I would wake up in sweat and my heart beating fast, confusion, that panic feeling that you get not even a panic attack but something that's less severe but somehow you get that weird panic feeling that rushes through you. I didn't get any hyperventilation like I had with my panic attack so it couldn't have actually been a panic attack but yes I got that too and just a bunch of stuff that I can't even describe into words since they're very specific and are hard to describe into words. I don't know if anyone out there can relate but my gosh, it's exhausting...😃
@@Caringsoul245 sorry to hear you have it bad , I allso have had social anxiety my whole life , I only thing that gives me some positive relief is training, doing gym fist thing in the morning has a positive effect on my mood for the day
I cannot thank you enough Dr. Scott. I am 65 and stopped working during COVID. Since that time my world has shrunken to my 2 bdrm condo and 3 cats. I have allowed anxiety to stop me from any activity that includes other people. Your explanation of how anxiety works makes so much sense. I shall be taking tiny steps of exposure so I can participate in life again. It has been pretty lonely 😔
I have gone through a very similar experience in my life, so I know what you mean. Just work on taking those small steps, and also work on telling that voice in your head to shut up and take a hike. Good luck.
I've also experienced health-related panic attacks and anxiety. I couldn't drive more than 5 minutes from my house without freaking out. I forced myself to do it a little bit at a time and push myself a little farther each time. Now I can drive anywhere.
This is key. I couldn’t get more than 5 minutes also. I had a setback mid year but still pushing forward. Will win the fight. Just need to prioritise exposure like my life depends on it, because it does. I’ve been stuck in the same 10km for almost 4 years
Yeah we are in a sick society where it is normal to exploit, enslave, and kill animals for products we don't need, but selfishly choose. In food, clothing, medicine, etc...
To anyone who’s got bad experiences from school as a child and teenager: don’t worry about not fitting in or not thriving in the school environment. It’s an extremely specialised situation that basically won’t ever happen again in your adult life, not even university studies. It’s like you’re a fish in one of those tiny round goldfish bowls, and they expect you to do great in that tiny little bowl when you’re made to swim in the ocean. Adults generally don’t react the same way kids and teenagers do, so all these things you’ve gotten used to tend to disappear or at least lessen. This insight genuinely made me feel better about myself and my life once I realised it. I hope it may help you, too. Good luck out there, it’s a harsh world but if we work together we can make it at least a little bit better.
Now planning a big trip to Asia. Anxiety whispers me all kinds of catastrophic scenarios while my hunger to live and be free from anxiety reminds me that life is made for living, not hiding forever
I suffered from panic attacks and anxiety for plenty of years. But it just turned out recently that I have very low iron levels in my blood. 60% it is the reason. So, sometimes, please, check on your physical health also. 🙏🏻
Its true. Years ago i went on a healthy diet kick, really healthy, no junk, and in a few weeks i realized my anxiety vanished. For the whole time i ate healthily almost 2 months. It was always there before that, my whole life. Its as if the bad food was fueling this anxious uncomfortable state n i never knew until i got rid of it. Havent commited enough since but should because it really worked.
People around me who never had anxiety just dont get it, and that alone makes my anxiety 50x worse and 50x more isolating. I get told, "its all in your head! you never try!!!! Stop being so scared of everything!!" Oh, thank you, kind dumbass family!!!!! i feel SOOOOO understood, heard, and cured!!!!!! /s Every time i DO try, i end up regretting it and making a fool out of myself or get humiliated. Thats what people dont see. Thats what people dont get.
Seems like we have the same family lol, i've had ADHD + Panic Attacks + recurring depressive episodes since I was 4-5 years old, all my life i've heard : "it's all in your head" "just don't think about it!" etc. etc.... 😢
I’ve had severe anxiety for as long as I can remember. It’s so refreshing to see a doctor who understands. I’m proud to be part of this family where we can come to support each other. Thank you Dr. Scott ❤
I definitely agree,, been waking up and actually don't feel like I'm going to die every morning. Love Dr.Scott and his whole community. Thanks to everyone for helping each other. There is no greater thing than that.
Wow! You really get it. Feeling like less of a failure after you explained. I tried to expand the comfort zone too far, too fast. Crashed, burned, retreated into an even smaller comfort zone than before. Now, I feel like I can try to take smaller steps again. Thank you.
Yes. It was very eye-opening when he said that attempting the overwhelming thing and then encoding it as a horrible experience does strengthen the anxiety. I had assumed that getting through a horrible experience of exposure to the anxiety-provoking thing would help. It doesn't! It needs to be tiny steps. Very enlightening video.
Hard relate on this one, Dr Scott. Aside from my crippling social anxiety which can make me feel physically sick, I also really struggled with virtually interacting with my team at work. Both my tiny team of 6 and the larger team of 40+ people. I recently stepped into my “discomfort zone” during mental health week here and shared with the bigger team that we should take the time to recognise and celebrate the little wins we have. I was terrified of being judged…of the message not resonating with people…but I did it anyway. I first shared it with my little team and then told them that I would share it with the wider team - which made me commit to that course of action. It was received very well. Taking these little steps outside of my comfort zone has incrementally increased my confidence so I can freely interact with my little team without second-guessing absolutely everything. I think they have noticed the change too. It’s amazing how much your videos and book have helped me to become the person I actually am and to let go of some (not all) of my negative self-talk. Words cannot express my gratitude 🙏🏻
Sorry but people who have never felt anxiety not understand how debilitating it is. I wish they would learn how bad it is. Good luck to those who are suffering ❤
View the anxiety feeling as no different to excitement, they are literally the same, but you channel it through a different perception and then that becomes your reality/experience, the feeling of anxiety is what your are afraid of, change how you see it and your anxiety will go away, the anxious feeling comes up in social situations, so you think its the situation that causes your anxiety, wrong, u subconsciously expect that emotion to come up, that's what your unconsciously afraid of and reacting to, the feeling of anxiety is the lion u r afraid of, chnage how you see it, see it as excitement
@@torres8988 ..that’s really good advice. The feelings are very similar, the difference is when I’m excited, I don’t try and stop it, I let it happen, but when I’m anxious, I get scared of being anxious 😬 it’s a vicious circle with nowhere to go, I’m learning that it’s trying to stop and get rid of my anxiety that’s causing the problem. I need to let it happen, but my goodness it’s hard. I’ve been doing it for so long it’s hard to change my thinking, but I’m trying 🤗
I do feel the immediate relief wash over me when I avoid what makes me anxious, but then I regret making the decision to avoid because I feel like people are judging me for being weak and irresponsible - like avoiding family get togethers or going to work. It's not much better if I do decide to go to work or see family either, it's like life is just miserable if I do or I don't and I am not sure how to reconcile that at all.
I completely and totally understand you! You are not alone. I avoid the same things. I became a substitute teacher’s aide so that I can choose work when i feel comfortable, but even then I still get overwhelmed and so anxious that I cancel. I have trouble holding down a real job. I also avoid friends and some family :/
I feel like people are judging me as well thinking I suck as a person. & you’re right even if i try, I still dont feel any better or think I couldve gone about my day not having to experience that. Dont know if im just a really introverted person or anxiety filled one
@@xxharuchanomg same, I avoid meeting my bf's friends coz I feel they r way cooler than me and I feel they judge me for being quiet and boring. Apart from that other stuff, I force myself to do that even though I'm nervous but even though it goes well it doesn't make me feel better, I feel more anxious after that. I don't know wts the solution for that. I'm anxious both ways, it's soo horrible that I get a panic attack that makes me nausea and dizzy. I also feel very guilty when I avoid it and also keep thinking that people are judging me for missing opportunity.
It is an amazing feeling not gonna lie. For me it started in high school with making up excuses to my mom to stay home because I had such paralyzing fear and anxiety about going to school where I was treated like garbage by almost everyone. My life ended in 10th grade basically. I died back then and only a shell of a person remains.
Also, one thing that helps is not blaming yourself for feeling anxiety, like "if only you were more courageous". No! That's a very incorrect way to think about how our personalities work. You have some agency, but a large part of it is your environment and your upbringing, analyse these two and you'll understand why you are the way you are, and why blaming yourself doesn't make sense even if it feels like it's your fault.
Dr. Scott. Thank you for sharing your gift and risking to sit with us in our darkest fears, you always know the topics i wanted to ask you. The world is much safer and livable with you and your gifts 💙💙💙💙💙
Thank you Dr. Scott I needed to hear this. My psychologist isn’t as good as you. I suffer with agoraphobia and have for nine years and it’s getting really rough being imprisoned in my own home.
I'm 74 years old. I used to be fearless, now I fear everything. Food shopping, all appointments, now, even going out for a walk. I wake up to the moon. I never see daylight. It's November 30th and in Toronto it gets light out at 8am and dark at 4:30pm. I say in bed all day.
Gratitude. Think of just three things you are grateful for first thing when you wake. Could be grateful for just waking up. Your comfortable bed. The roof over your head that protects you. Be grateful first thing and it will change your day. Do it every morning and it will change your life.
I know how it feels I’m 39 I lost my mum she was 57 years when she passed away I felt completely heart broken I wish she could of stayed longer it’s not fair at all she was always there for me I just hope if there is an afterlife she gets something better ❤️🙏
I think I was aware that avoidance was strengthening my anxiety. But the overwhelmed thing is a problem for me. I do the thing, it goes ok… but internally I’m losing my mind and the anxiety still compounds
He does address that very phenomenon -- he talks about how going through something and encoding it as horrible does indeed strengthen the anxiety. The exposure needs to be within an area that is not overwhelming; just a little uncomfortable, and then it becomes a kind of medicine. Like how inoculation - a vaccine - is actually a tiny amount of the pathogen; it strengthens the immune system. A tiny bit of exposure to the anxiety provoking thing strengthens the ability in that area. He gives a couple of examples (e.g., speaking to a group of 2 people instead of a lot; going to Walmart at 10:00 a.m on a Tuesday instead of 1:00 pm on a Saturday)
Keep in mind, progress in this is almost never consistent/steady. It can be a wild up/down cycle where it gets better...then worse....then better.....then worse than before....then better, etc. So when you fall back into anxiety, you've got to keep going even a little because you need to build confidence with the downfalls or "relapses" also.
I realized every time I go to my hometown, which is close to where I live, I get this gripping fear. Yesterday I decided to take a walk in this town and create new memories. Was very freeing!
I was afraid to fly until I experienced passive suicidal ideation, and then I didn't care. After I did it, it opened up a lot more opportunities for me to vacation and get away. Which in turn, helps with my depression.
Absolutely, I lost my husband and mother and a niece within a year. My anxiety skyrocketed. Gave up my job to take care of my husband. Being his caregiver kept me home and I got stuck. 6 yrs later and I'm worse. Tired of beating myself up and I am forcing myself to see people and go somewhere at least 2 times a month.
@@mightymouse1005..I related to when you said you beat yourself up, I think I get angry with myself for getting anxious, and grief feels like anxiety to me. I don’t want to let go and feel grief because I’m scared I’ll never come out of it, but pushing it down is leading to more anxiety.
Yeah I want so badly to be able to do this...but I'm permanently traumatized and anxiety/fear rule my life. All the while I can't stop insulting myself with negative self talk. Man you have no idea how badly I wanted to become a successful content creator. Getting paid to put my work into the world and covering topics I love. A passionate job that doesn't feel like "work". The permanent low self esteem and internalized bullying ensures I can never have that. I can't even do "faceless" RUclips or streaming because even when I'm alone I can barely get my voice out. My internal energy just automatically wants me to be quiet. On a different channel I attempted to get started with making videos but I couldn't even finish making any actual content because halfway through I would destroy my progress with negative self talk and convince myself to just delete it and stop trying. And then I know if I ever did finish anything and upload I would panic and either private the video or outright delete it within like 5 minutes. I know if I even read one or two cruel comments it is going to shatter the tiny pathetic bit left that is my self esteem. And it is agonizing being aware of normal well adjusted people who achieved the dream I want . So on top of everything, I also have to fight to contain envy and jealousy. People will say that is childish or whatever but it is a normal response for someone living with ptsd and a ton of mental baggage. At least I can admit it though. Envy is so hard to ignore when you know your life got destroyed and you're left incapable of achieving those goals. I'm like a fucking vampire or something forced to live in the shadows.
I'm on the spectrum, and have had debilitating anxiety when trying to make friends in social situations. I would keep throwing myself into social situations, but I couldn't figure out why I still felt anxious even after succeeding. It all makes sense now: I was in over my head, building anxiety even when succeeding. Thank you Dr. Scott!
Anxiety can totally feel like a prison cell. Some days I can fight my way through and some days hiding out wins. As long as we stay in the game of exposure therapy, as you say Dr., we will win out!
I have never heard it spoken so perfectly before. Your initial definition or description of anxiety, man I had to stop was I was doing to listen, because I'd have bet money you had a camera on me for years. I work a night shift job, I do all my shopping as soon as the stores open, I'm horribly out of shape, I dread having people see me but I do nothing about it despite having the knowledge of how to fix it, because I've done it before, but I just can't muster the willpower anymore. I have a badass car, my dream car since I was four, but I botch driving it (it's manual transmission) because I'm so anxious about the process and about everyone around me looking at me, because the car gets a LOT of stares. I know this innately, exposing myself to something repeatedly makes me less anxious and far more comfortable with it, but after a few weeks if I haven't kept up with it I'm back to square one. It makes me so mad. I do the avoidance shit so damn often, and that hit of relief really is addictive. I crave it as much as I hate it. I hate how my life has ended up at 33, but I shudder to think how I'd be right now if I hadn't started to fix other aspects of my life at 30. I've completely ignored my health and I'm paying for it already, having old man issues, and I hate myself for it. I just needed to vent. This video hit me hard. I used to think, "Oh yeah I have a little anxiety but it's just my shyness." After living alone, and then isolating myself for the past 8 years I thought "hell yeah I'm good, I don't have to deal with people." It was an awful mistake. I regret it every day.
You're so lucky. You've got so much time to improve where your head and life is at. I wish I would have had access to this information when I was 33. My life might have been different. Better. Hang in there! We're all struggling.
I have been struggling with this for basically all of my life in different ways and stages. It has been so crippling and deprived me of so many things in life, I am so unbelievably sick of it. At times I have been successful in breaking out of it, I was able to achieve a lot, but something always comes along thst sucks me back in and it has been worse than ever in recent times. I just don't understand why I am this way, what led me to be this way even since I was a kid - being afraid of so many things, not daring to try lots of stuff, thinking I am not able to do things that seem nornal for many. It is so frustrating.
I absolutely know how that feels.. It's all about slowly standing your ground and confronting what's supposedly trying to kill you. Don't let it steal your happiness nor your opportunities... Go there and slowly approach life in a way that allows you to gain confidence little by little and don't fear death nor panic attacks.. If they occur so be it! But you MUST do something about it otherwise you will be like this for the rest of your life. ❤
I usually attack it head on. If I feel anxious or afraid of something, I take that as a sign that that is something I need to figure out how to do. I’m too hard on myself, but I don’t use fear as an excuse. Because of that I’m constantly taking things on. This makes me very, very different from most people. But I’m more afraid of being someone who is too afraid to tackle things. But the downside of it is that I don’t relate to people well. Most people choose safety and security. Both things I like, by the way. I just do the opposite of what most people do. Because of this (and maybe being an asshole at times), I don’t really have any friends. But I’m very loyal to people who will have me.
I’m going to see my doctor about my anxiety today…and I have extreme anxiety about it. If it wasn’t so horrible it would actually be funny. Thank you for this video.
What if your fear/anxiety and depression is so bad that you immediately get terrified of thinking about doing a very basic thing? For example, “I think I’ll fold the laundry now.” Or “I’m going to take a shower” and each of those thoughts is immediately followed by fear, confusion, and the freeze response. All of these thoughts and feelings happening while your rational brain keeps saying that something is wrong with you - because it is irrational to be afraid of basic tasks.
Thanks again, Dr. Scott. I've never had "panic attacks," but I've practiced avoidance for a lot of things in my life. I think I've made some progress with what you call exposure therapy. It has helped in some areas, but I have other areas I need to work on. Always a WIP. 🙂
This rings so true to my experience with anxiety and avoiding. Do you have any insights about how the pandemic has impacted people with anxiety and depressive disorders? I was mostly coping ok before the pandemic. Then pandemic turned my anxiety and depression up 1000%. I’m actually struggling more now than I was in 2020.
The pandemic really made my anxiety and depression much worse. Pretending to go "back to normal" as if nothing ever happened post-pandemic has been Hell. My world is now very small. I struggle to leave the house without having a panic attack.
They have done studies on children in school, and has shown to be demonstrably worse. As for me, i have found post-pandemic to be much harder than pre-pandemic.
Interesting to me that this affliction, if you will, is inherent, nature versus nurture. My mother was a narcissistic sociopath who allowed me to do nothing because of her own fears that I would make her look bad. My father was just a fearful person who wouldn't go up against my mother. I was afraid to try anything new as a child and adolescent. And once I left home, it took me a few years to get past that. But a great deal of self introspection, and baby steps into the world around me, solved the entire problem. I left an abusive marriage, started traveling, and am looking into moving overseas. Nothing frightens me anymore! And literally nothing causes me anxiety. Baby steps. Small victories. Keep it up, and it'll happen.
Holy Cow! Your experience is incredibly overwhelming and powerful.. The way you managed to go from point A to point B progressively and reach that level of freedom where you could do anything without feeling fear or anxiety truly speaks of your will to live life and enjoy what's there. I've struggled with anxiety for some months now due to overloads of work and a ton of pressure from college that led to me exploding like a balloon by the end of the year. I couldn't handle anything anymore and I had to put out energy from where I didn't have any. Spent these holidays at my parents house not doing much just hoping I'd feel better with time, all it did was empower my fear for living life, now I'm trying to stand my ground and slowly regain confidence in what I used to do daily without any fear. I love challenges but this is definitely one of the most difficult things I've ever had to deal with in my entire life, but I believe in myself.. ❤
Safe? What's that? I have learned that the 'now' is safe, not the sorrows of the past, or the fears of the future. Gripped by fear since childhood, your assessment is very accurate. "Anxious mess forever...yeah, that's it..." It has been for me. I have been using some of these techniques almost daily. Will adopt the rest now. Thanks.
Public speaking was terrifying. I found a way to just keep doing it - now I work part time as a trainer and have to speak in front of 150 people sometimes. LOTS of practice has helped! Amazed I could do it - but realising that now I have been shockingly brave doing it over and over when it felt like it would kill me 🙂 And now I’m the one in a zoom conference who can swoop in and fill an awkward silence and help the host and participants out if there’s a blip. Woah. Thank you Dr. Scott! I have so much negativity bias I didn’t realise until now HOW MUCH of an achievement it has been to overcome my fear of public speaking to some extent!
THis is true. I am terrified of dentist and I faced it and did ir afraid, I just found the most caring dentist who made it possible. I am still scared no matter how many times I go , BUT my teeth are finally healthy and I can smile again...avoidance was my strong suit for the last 20 years. Trust GOD and do it afraid, and you will say after how easy it was and how much stronger you feel!
Dr. Scott, thank you for this. I often equate anxiety as a self perpetuating Möbius strip of doom! Anxiety + catastrophizing everything is the ultimate spiral downward.
Yes! I do sit around and agony for days to psych myself up to get something done wow! it helps to know what the steps are for improvement and to recognize this experience is not limited to me.
The older you become, if you see reality as it really is, you want less to do with people and a global financial, sociological, political, militaristic and economic show and lie. You've been through so much that you see through most everything and everyone if you are lucky enough to be that sensitive, observational and intelligent. People are not interested in meeting old and older people without delusions. Being alone is a privilege. Your body also increasingly limits activity. Your friends die as you get old, your parents and most people you've ever known are dead, your dreams have died. The themes of existence become redundant. No one gives a **** about you and if it appears they do, they usually ( not always) but just want something from you. Anyone that believes in a god has rocks in their head. Anyone that thinks the government can or wants to protect you from technocrats and corporations is delusional. Most things are a fleeting monetary transaction and responsibility. No matter what most males say and some females, if they are heterosexual, they are not internally comfortable around homosexual men or being emotionally intimate and close with them. No one wants to be outside of their bubbles by the time they are in their 50s. I'm almost 70 and I can tell anyone what life is all about but most of them can not handle it. We are nothing but transitory, sentient beings that pass very quickly and literally go back to the water and chemicals that we are. I'm not disagreeing with Dr. Eilers. I like him and what he is stating. What I wrote and what he is saying are two different things. You have to be very strong, philosophical and reality based to face and live in old age. I'm relatively active. How can I not be? I lived alone most of my life and now am living with a 50 something that is struggling with all kinds of issues on my dime. But he always was a good friend, had a good heart and could see through the bull of this life as I could. People constantly lie to themselves and others either consciously or unconsciously. Most everything is a monetary transaction of one sort or another. If you want love, get a dog. They really don't love you, they depend on you for survival. Money becomes the most important thing in life because your health depends on it. Physical and mental health is the most important because that is all you have if you are lucky in the end but most people are a danger or an obstacle to you in one form or another ( think of getting caught in a long traffic jam or your car breaking down in very cold weather at night or think about battling with your health insurance company for the coverage you deserve ). Most other humans just want to do a monetary transaction with you or they are inconsequential to your existence. If you leave this life with one person truly caring about you and your feelings, then you are very lucky. Care about yourself and be your own best friend. We all are just future business for the funeral industry. Ironically I was friends with a licensed funeral director for about two decades. You should hear the brightest and most honest of them talk. Almost all of them are atheists but they have to lie for their "Show Business".
Thank you. . Sometimes just going shopping, to a nearby shop, a planned show, on a tram or train can be so overwhelming tjat I will avoid it and do without what I needed to buy meaning no food, cigarettes or whatever! 😢 its like punishing myself! I hate it! but cannot stop it!😢😢
I do the same thing. As a matter of fact I have no food in the house right now except a few boxes of crackers and some cheese. I must push myself past the discomfort or "embrace the suck" to grow past this. I hope you can push through as well ❤❤❤ p.s. I have cats and they eat much better than I do thanks to Amazon ❤😂 😂😂😂
@@karenr411 Oh wow, was feeling as if I was only one who did this, so sorry you do it too💜 ...and yes my cat is well fed too😉(amazon is my pal too) Its as if I am on a different wavelength, I really do care but not really believing it...aaaargh! Hard to explain... Hopefully we can push through and find some relief...good wishes to you and love to you and cats.💜x
Thank you for opening my eyes. I feel anxious most of the time and I don't allow it to shrink my world any further. I thought it must get better but my body is telling me it gets worse. Now I see, part of the Problem is, I overwhelm myself on a regular basis just to live my life, get stuff done and not inhibit my childs life. I kind of force myself to do the right, normal things but my body reacts with tension, cold hands, numbness, tightness in my chest and stomach and nightterrors. I have to do so many things that cause physical high stress to functional freeze or shutdown reactions to care for me and my child. I'm a single parenting mother. Often my body feels numb and I forget many things during intense times. Now before Christmas is such a time. Family's or friends meet and celebrate or struggels theyr way through Christmas traditions. I feel painful reminded that I feel very much alone and failed to provide a healthy enough family for my child who don't think twice to share his frustration with me and others. I feel blamed then and so lonely, left behind. My heart is aching these days. I try to bring myself in balance, to regulate my nervous system. These days the disregulation remains. I'm thankful that I'm noticing this and give my best to stay at my side with kindness. To offer myself compassion even if I don't have a blueprint for how to offer it to me... Thank you for your helpful videos
I used to get up of bed very early and eager to go outside. NOW, I stay under my blankets, praying that no one knocks on my door. I CAN'T face the idea of going out and seeing people.
I really understand. I have been there, still am.
So, so same😢
Social anxiety sucksssss.
Visit Christian audio books and sermons channel and absorb the word of God. It will give you strength and peace.
How do you make a living?
I think the worst part is being anxious about being anxious.
Feels like an endless cycle, but I know it's not. I hope we all come to realize this again.
I wish everyone the best ❤
Fear of the fear. Yup.
Very true
I’m going through that right now, it’s a vicious circle. I say “why am I still feeling anxious?” Which makes me more anxious 🙁
This is SO me. It started at Ge 33, now I'm 75. Still have extreme anxiety, panic attacks, agoraphobia, the works. drs., therapists, medications, still stuck in this fractured world. It has taken my life over. It's miserable. After listening to you this morning, at least I don't feel so alone. Thanks.
Hello there I also have agoraphobia and anxiety
Hello. I’m 71, and I totally understand how you feel. I listen to Dr Scott and he’s so encouraging. I wish I had found someone like him 50 years ago. Do you feel like it’s too late for you now? I feel as though why put in all the work at this age, when I’m at the end of my life. I hope you see this and reply.
I’m agoraphobic and have awful anxiety too. You’re not alone
@@paulaevans2981…it’s not too late, absolutely NEVER too late. You could live to 99, so you’ve got loads of years left.
@@MoonSpinners Thanks.
I find that volunteering and stepping out of one’s self helps. There is so much to give out there. It distracts one from one’s fears.
I can't even do that. I'm so useless and lost when trying to do even basic things. I'd literally just be a detriment to helping others because I'm incompetent.
I'm such garbage even other people won't want my help doing anything.
@@SueDonim-iy6ml You poor thing! I wish I could give you a hug. Maybe volunteer at something you're interested in - I volunteered at the food bank when I retired - even if it's just for an hour. You will improve.
Mine is associated recently, again, with driving. (Crippling panic attacks) from ptsd..(car accident)...i keep pushing through by the grace of God, until it wears off.
I understand. I was in a major car crash as a passenger and had multiple injuries. It's taken a lot of years of exposure therapy and CBT to tackle my PTSD to even drive locally. I just cannot drive on the highway anymore as my knee jerk reaction to bad drivers then makes me a dangerous driver. I've accepted this now even though it was my passion to drive long distances, get away places plus also my previous career as a sales area manager. I am happy tackling efforts to drive locally. I hope you learn to manage this. I truly empathise.
In my 43 years of feeling anxious and depressed you are the only person that has explained everything in a way i can understand and given the tools to help heal. You are an absolout gift and a blessing to offer your knowledge for free, you must have helped thousands to cope better. thank you x
Thank you so much for this powerful cognitive shift: “prove my anxiety wrong”.
All of sudden, my rebel nature kicks in.
Help. I haven’t lived in 30+ years. Pray for me please
I'm praying for u
Holy Cerridwen, please help this person live their best life.
I'm praying for you brother ❤
Sending you good vibes and positivity❤ hugs
Praying for you brother ❤❤❤
As a child of a mother with agoraphobia, I learned (A)that the world is scary and (B)that if you let your fear take the lead you’re going to miss out on a lot. My mother couldn’t even make a trip to the grocery store 5 blocks away when I was growing up. I didn’t understand what her problem was until I was a teenager and experienced my first unexplained panic attack that hit me out of the blue. Still to this day I experience these attacks, often when I’m driving, and yea it’s scary. But when I was a teen I vowed that I would not allow my anxiety and fear hold me back. I missed out on a lot growing up because of my mother’s mental illness and I didn’t want that life. I just allow myself to experience the panic attack because I never know when it’s going to happen. Most days I’m fine and then other days not so much, but it has become easier to deal with. I’ve learned how to cope with it and I know it’s usually temporary. I definitely think it is hormonal related because now in my mid 40’s there has been an increase in anxiety/panic attacks just as when I was a teen. But I will survive this. 💪
You are very strong. I admire you. As far as your mother - people do not understand what it's like to deal with something that debilitating - unless they've "been there"
I totally feel what you described constantly and end up in my room in my bed reading alone and just fine...but I should not be there!! I'm so paralyzed by fear and anxiety. Now I really understand it is NOT healthy to be in this bed relaxing. So I will practice your tips and stop being so reluctant to do what is best for me and get out in the world!!! Make money moves and crush the Boulder of fear anxiety!! SLAY!!
I am having a Christmas party at my house this Saturday. I am feeling anxious about and wandering why i decided to do this. I know that we need this. This past year was terrible. We lost a few family members. We need to have family gatherings that dont involve death. It will be nice to gather the family and enjoy each others company. 😊
I don’t think we need to do anything, especially things we don’t want to. Can you identify the need for the need? Can it be ok to not see family? Or maybe it is more that you can’t be yourself in front of family. Can it be ok for you to just be anxious in front of family?
Dr Scott..please never stop these videos..i feel like i can change my life thanks to you..have had anxiety and depression for years and never understood why i do certain behaviors..u make me understand..i keep refering back to certain videos when i get lost again...i would never have gone to my own Doctor and things had got bad,,im 48 and you are my hero..thank you so much..,,most of your vidoes i feel you are talking directly to me,,,thank you from Cornwall England
This channel was just suggested in my feed recently, and I wish I had found it sooner. The tips and tricks are very helpful and laid out in layman's terms, which is appreciated. Thank you for this content.
I’ve had social anxiety my whole life, but didn’t know what it was until 2017 when I was diagnosed. If I’m out in public with someone I know close to me, I’m mostly okay. But having to talk to strangers or to be in a store or other public place alone is horrifying and makes me have a panic attack. Before the pandemic, I was doing exposure therapy, and I even had job interviews (I didn’t get a job, but it was good practice). I was improving. But now, my anxiety is worse than it was before. I’m trying to do better. But I constantly feel like a failure and the family disappointment.
Just keep making baby steps forward. We're here for you
I have C-PTSD and the worst part for me is agoraphobia. When i get nervous, i lose control of my bowels even if I'v been already. Massive challenge for me to go anywhere and do anything, it's ruined my life. So far.
You made some great points regarding the "variables", interesting, great video, thank you 👍
You’re not alone, I have the same symptoms.
@@MoonSpinners I'm very sorry to hear that. Since I posted this, I'v had a heart attack completely out of the blue and it's made everything worse in many ways. I wish you well 🙌
@@MoonSpinners I really appreciate you commenting cuz feeling alone in it all is probably the worst part 👍👍👍 Do you have any tips?
@@OffGridMadMan …I’m so sorry about your heart attack, I hope you make a full recovery. My only tip that works is to not be too hard on yourself, which is easier said than done. I get so angry when I’m anxious and try and stop the feelings, which don’t help at all. The more you try and stop being anxious the more anxious you get. I try and tell myself that it’ll pass, it won’t be as bad forever, and accept it. These tips have helped me, but I tend not to follow them myself all the time 😂 it’s easy to go off course and end up in a heap on the floor, but I take comfort in knowing I’m not alone, millions of people are just as bad, if not worse than us. Just remember, it’s not your fault, you can’t help being the way you are. 👍
@@MoonSpinners thank you, all very true and we all need to hear it sometimes. So I hope that you too are kind to yourself, while you remember! 🙌👍
This episode is talking to me and directing me in the direction I need to go. Thank you so much.
I have terrible anxiety and whenever something triggering happens, it makes me feel like the world is ending. I stop everything, trying to fight that anxiety but that's the thing, I try to stop it, avoid it. In the end, I have my world shrinking a bit further, not only I am left with pending work which makes me underconfident, but also I have validated my anxiety.
I dont have words to thank you enough. Makes me cry
It's already helpful to see comments from other anxious people that are in a similar situation. My therapy actually exacerbated my anxiety. Finding out that people who were supposed to be safe - weren't, sent me on a downward spiral. I'm taking very, very small steps in exposure therapy, starting with online meetings but with an unknown crowd. Just recording a video with a voiceover is such a massive achievement already. But that's all I can do for the time being.
Thank you so much. I feel paralyzed from anxiety and have a terrible closed in world. I am so unhappy. You've hit the nail on the head for me. It's such an awful paralysis. Your teaching has explained so much. Your understanding of the sickness is comforting. I will try my best. I don't want to live this way. I found this came upon me after 4 family deaths. Could this have caused this? I never used to be this way.
I've been struggling with worsening anxiety, and I find myself isolating in a small room. The thought of meeting new people and even simple tasks feels overwhelming. I want to live more freely, but I feel trapped and scared to face the outside world.
I'm in a constant state of anxiety and fear/freeze mode. I have all the symptoms of CPTSD and PTSD combined but how my body responds to perceived danger has been changing over the years. I was much braver in the past, much more social and if I reacted at all, my 'go to' mode was fight/flight. Now it's mostly freeze with lots of fawning and inability to leave home without some extra anxiety which only goes back to its regular level when I get back home. When I was young, at least I didn't fear the world as much as I do now even though people hurt me terribly (I was gang raped as a teenager). I stopped working 2 years ago and at 48 I still live with the person responsible for my CPTSD - my narcissistic and unloving mother. I just feel like I can't move on, I'm in prison of my own limited perception of the world. I used to work remotely and that was very helpful and satisfying but my profession is slowly dying (machines taking over translations jobs) and I'm starting to realize how unemployable I have become. I have no money for therapy and I don't intend to take any medications but I always remember how wonderful it felt when I lived abroad. I have an academic degree but I was working as a housekeeper in a hotel and it didn't really bother me because at least I was free and far from traumagenic environment of my famiy home and far from my xenophobic and judgenental country I was brought up in. I'm seriously thinking of moving abroad again when my son graduates high school and starts university next year. I'm just scared of my own shadow at this point but there are also actual difficulties and barriers that moving abroad at my age involves. Dear karma, please let me be born to a nice Japanese family in my next life 😊
I totally relate to fear. I think you're very brave taking steps to leave this country even though you're afraid "of your own shadow". Living in this country, and the insanity and high stress, has contributed to my problems.
@@TLA123y6f ,❤🙏may we find peace and joy while we're still in this world.
OhLordyItsJordy once said, "Call your own bluff" and that's what I've been living by. Sure, I'm anxious to ever step out the door, but I "call my own bluff" on all the things I'm imagining could go wrong. Super helpful along with this video :)
I have had arguments with my neighbour for a few years.. she's now in hospital struggling to breath I feel absolutely rotten that I've been that horrible to a person. I suppose it takes something like this to understand your bullying behaviour. Now I'm full of anxiety on how to deal with things. I truly hope she pulls through 🙏 for herself and family.. please God give her a speedy recovery. Nothing is worth worrying about
This was extremely helpful. Thank you!
I seem to be different. I have always been "tough", and force myself to do things that make me anxious, but everything always ends up even worse, and the anxiety is endless.
Awesome! I love starting my day listening to your videos. Very grateful 😊
Your best video Doc!
I feel better reading how other people suffer with anxiety.
I had much less anxiety when i smoked cigarettes,, but i quit 12 years ago😂
Please expand on the coping techniques and how to apply them during the anxiety provoking event when one is doing the exposure therapy.
Dealing with anxious situations that you can label is easier to handle. But what about anxiety that is present for no apparent reason. Waking with anxiety and going to bed with it. Maybe it’s part of our genetic make-up?
This was brilliant. Thank you. It was a relief putting this into a different perspective.
Love you ❤ excellent troubleshooting
It is good also to find that it IS possible to overcome this. Thank you.
Wisdom is paramount when you have an anxiety disorder. In other words it's knowing when to take risks and face your fears and when to take time out and relax. If you are feeling exhausted and depressed you need to take time out and rest. I refer to it has soothing and striving periods!
I am just the opposite I never want to be home. I always want you to be out. I feel down when I am home and lonely.
Something happend when you where younger not having enqouragment to overcome barriers and we start selfperserv and that becomes your reality.
I’m 59 and scared of my own shadow
I had to cancel conducting a training session on prevention of child abuse (something I’ve done close to 100 times and have a passion for) because I started feeling the weight in my chest accompanied by bad dreams. I can’t figure out why THIS time it was overwhelming to the point I felt I had to back out. I think I did the right thing in this instance because that is a topic that is very personal for me and I didn’t think I could retain my composure to get through the class. Did I wimp out or did I listen to my body? I’m 64 so my experiences were a long time ago and hashed out in many years of therapy.
The worst thing for me is about anxiety is the sweat it produce when your anxious you'll get nervous sweating and it smell worse than a regular sweat
Cortisol sweat
Look up ways to lower cortisol
People's judgments keep me isolated. I live in nyc and this city is overpopulated with nosey jerks. I've been dealing with this since the early 2000's and feel frozen in life.
Love your content so much keep up the good work🌹
Thank you so much!
My anxiety is related to the reality that I will lose my precious pet if 29 years. He has been sick a lot lately. It keeps me awake all night, because I’m constantly thinking about how bad it will hurt. Can anyone help with this? It’s constantly looming on the horizon.
What if you have bad health and don’t feel like trying these things?
Needle injection blood phobia.... Please make a video..... About it if possible how to overcome.
It’s also physical
Please review the coping skills that you referred to in this video. ❤️
You're awesome
I don't mean to be dramatic, but you may have just changed my life. I have suffered from anxiety and depression all of my life and have tried medication, therapy, and a variety of different methods. The only thing that works is: action. Avoiding what needs to be done. It has only gone away when I actually do it. You confirmed this. Thank you so much.
I don't think it's dramatic... Sometimes there's that one video or thing that just hits for that period of your life. Good luck on your journey
Never dramatic to reach out with honesty and integrity❤🙌 I know how you feel.
Jesus Christ is the only way to heaven the only answer the only savior and healer 🕊️✝️
yeah but then it comes back if you don't do it every day. It's so stupid this disease
Feel the fear and do it anyways by Susan jeffers is a brilliant book. Highly recommend
Anxiety feeds off of avoidance. Thanks for the video ❤
im the king of avoidance and retreat
Same.
@@topy706 I'm the peasant of avoidance and retreat. I can't control anything like a king would control it.
It is a slippery slope
Becomes a habit and habits are hard to break
Careful what you say to yourself and what you practice you will become it.
BUT it can be turned around. It’s like going on vacation and when you get back trying to get into the work schedule again is torture
We become numb to the pain lol. Endure. Getting free makes it hard to go back lol
Even with things you really want to do.
I’m sitting here typing this instead of getting ready for a show I WANT to do!
Thank you for sharing how you manage your anxiety and sense of self. I go in and out. I also sometimes feel how do I have the right to feel like this when so many others are worse off. Be careful who you share your inner self with. Someone who is also struggling and you think will be most compassionate can turn out to be the most belittling person. Talk to a confident person cause there is a real chance they have overcome anxiety and we all swing back and forth. Avoidance is a killer. Unsuccessful people encourage me to join them. Forget about that. It seems loving and helpful but it is self serving so they have company. I’m left to grapple on my own at a deadline. Have hope a vision of your best self and know you can achieve it. Never give up unless it doesn’t serve you. Give up on anxiety not your goals 💜 going to work now🙏🏻
I braided my hair and looked in the mirror. I told myself I looked pretty. Doesn't sound like much, but, its a big thing
Did you simply tell yourself you're pretty or did you genuinely FEEL pretty? There's plenty of things I've tried to tell myself before because it's the right/healthy thing to want to feel or believe, but I said it without actually believing it.
I’m proud of you, 👍 I’m doing great if I get a shower in 😢
That's great man!
This is literally me. It started out as social anxiety, but now it’s more anxiety of being alive. It’s like I just can’t catch a break, and I’m a shut in now too..
Me also 😢
Myself aswell ,my whole life battling with social anxiety, my life feels miserable
same
Same.
Before 2020 I only had social anxiety and then now it's health anxiety, panic disorder and a bunch of other stuff that has made me feel mentally unstable.
I always get that uneasy feeling. Unsure how to explain it but that feeling that something is always wrong even when there's literally nothing wrong. I also feel like I have developed a strange form of paranoia as well ever since 2020. I've never once felt that way in my whole life.
I sometimes start to randomly shake out of nowhere. I have had head pressures, I would wake up in sweat and my heart beating fast, confusion, that panic feeling that you get not even a panic attack but something that's less severe but somehow you get that weird panic feeling that rushes through you. I didn't get any hyperventilation like I had with my panic attack so it couldn't have actually been a panic attack but yes I got that too and just a bunch of stuff that I can't even describe into words since they're very specific and are hard to describe into words. I don't know if anyone out there can relate but my gosh, it's exhausting...😃
@@Caringsoul245 sorry to hear you have it bad , I allso have had social anxiety my whole life , I only thing that gives me some positive relief is training, doing gym fist thing in the morning has a positive effect on my mood for the day
I cannot thank you enough Dr. Scott. I am 65 and stopped working during COVID. Since that time my world has shrunken to my 2 bdrm condo and 3 cats. I have allowed anxiety to stop me from any activity that includes other people. Your explanation of how anxiety works makes so much sense. I shall be taking tiny steps of exposure so I can participate in life again. It has been pretty lonely 😔
Yes, baby steps! Good luck 🤗
💜
Same here. You are not alone. ❤
I have gone through a very similar experience in my life, so I know what you mean. Just work on taking those small steps, and also work on telling that voice in your head to shut up and take a hike. Good luck.
Me too! Right there with you!
I've also experienced health-related panic attacks and anxiety. I couldn't drive more than 5 minutes from my house without freaking out. I forced myself to do it a little bit at a time and push myself a little farther each time. Now I can drive anywhere.
Good for you, amazing
This is key. I couldn’t get more than 5 minutes also. I had a setback mid year but still pushing forward. Will win the fight. Just need to prioritise exposure like my life depends on it, because it does. I’ve been stuck in the same 10km for almost 4 years
Wonderful, happy for you ❤
Wow!
@@overcomingwithinI’m the exact same way
It’s natural to feel anxiety in a sick society and trying to fit in and interact with that sick society. We are in a spiritual battle.
Why do you say there is a spiritual battle?
Not so
I agree anxiety taunts me a Spiritual battle.
A'ho!
Yeah we are in a sick society where it is normal to exploit, enslave, and kill animals for products we don't need, but selfishly choose. In food, clothing, medicine, etc...
The above is STUPID victim blaming BS. F F F shrinks. Fix your profession, replication crisis and deadly meds or just FO.
To anyone who’s got bad experiences from school as a child and teenager: don’t worry about not fitting in or not thriving in the school environment. It’s an extremely specialised situation that basically won’t ever happen again in your adult life, not even university studies. It’s like you’re a fish in one of those tiny round goldfish bowls, and they expect you to do great in that tiny little bowl when you’re made to swim in the ocean. Adults generally don’t react the same way kids and teenagers do, so all these things you’ve gotten used to tend to disappear or at least lessen. This insight genuinely made me feel better about myself and my life once I realised it. I hope it may help you, too.
Good luck out there, it’s a harsh world but if we work together we can make it at least a little bit better.
Wow this is good advice
What if you become a teacher?
Now planning a big trip to Asia. Anxiety whispers me all kinds of catastrophic scenarios while my hunger to live and be free from anxiety reminds me that life is made for living, not hiding forever
I suffered from panic attacks and anxiety for plenty of years. But it just turned out recently that I have very low iron levels in my blood. 60% it is the reason. So, sometimes, please, check on your physical health also. 🙏🏻
Its true. Years ago i went on a healthy diet kick, really healthy, no junk, and in a few weeks i realized my anxiety vanished. For the whole time i ate healthily almost 2 months. It was always there before that, my whole life. Its as if the bad food was fueling this anxious uncomfortable state n i never knew until i got rid of it. Havent commited enough since but should because it really worked.
Yes that and also low vitamin D as well. I've noticed a lot of people who deal with anxiety have low vitamin D deficiency as well!
Sound like you beedro be checked for h pylori
This is important!
Magnesium glycinate might help too.
People around me who never had anxiety just dont get it, and that alone makes my anxiety 50x worse and 50x more isolating.
I get told, "its all in your head! you never try!!!! Stop being so scared of everything!!" Oh, thank you, kind dumbass family!!!!! i feel SOOOOO understood, heard, and cured!!!!!! /s
Every time i DO try, i end up regretting it and making a fool out of myself or get humiliated. Thats what people dont see. Thats what people dont get.
People who have not experienced serous depression/anxiety and trauma have NO idea what that is. You have to have 'been there' to remotely understand.
Seems like we have the same family lol, i've had ADHD + Panic Attacks + recurring depressive episodes since I was 4-5 years old, all my life i've heard : "it's all in your head" "just don't think about it!" etc. etc....
😢
I’ve had severe anxiety for as long as I can remember. It’s so refreshing to see a doctor who understands. I’m proud to be part of this family where we can come to support each other. Thank you Dr. Scott ❤
❤ Ditto!!!
I definitely agree,, been waking up and actually don't feel like I'm going to die every morning. Love Dr.Scott and his whole community. Thanks to everyone for helping each other. There is no greater thing than that.
Wow! You really get it. Feeling like less of a failure after you explained. I tried to expand the comfort zone too far, too fast. Crashed, burned, retreated into an even smaller comfort zone than before. Now, I feel like I can try to take smaller steps again. Thank you.
Same here!
I can relate
Yes. It was very eye-opening when he said that attempting the overwhelming thing and then encoding it as a horrible experience does strengthen the anxiety. I had assumed that getting through a horrible experience of exposure to the anxiety-provoking thing would help. It doesn't! It needs to be tiny steps. Very enlightening video.
Hard relate on this one, Dr Scott. Aside from my crippling social anxiety which can make me feel physically sick, I also really struggled with virtually interacting with my team at work. Both my tiny team of 6 and the larger team of 40+ people. I recently stepped into my “discomfort zone” during mental health week here and shared with the bigger team that we should take the time to recognise and celebrate the little wins we have. I was terrified of being judged…of the message not resonating with people…but I did it anyway. I first shared it with my little team and then told them that I would share it with the wider team - which made me commit to that course of action. It was received very well. Taking these little steps outside of my comfort zone has incrementally increased my confidence so I can freely interact with my little team without second-guessing absolutely everything. I think they have noticed the change too. It’s amazing how much your videos and book have helped me to become the person I actually am and to let go of some (not all) of my negative self-talk. Words cannot express my gratitude 🙏🏻
👏👏👏👏👏👏💜
Well done. What a gift also to the others in the team.
Thank you for sharing this❤❤ cingratulations
Sorry but people who have never felt anxiety not understand how debilitating it is. I wish they would learn how bad it is. Good luck to those who are suffering ❤
Anxiety is destroying me. I can't have a proper job, a relationship, nothing.
Same. I’m agoraphobic because of it.
😢
Magnesium Glycinate might help.
View the anxiety feeling as no different to excitement, they are literally the same, but you channel it through a different perception and then that becomes your reality/experience, the feeling of anxiety is what your are afraid of, change how you see it and your anxiety will go away, the anxious feeling comes up in social situations, so you think its the situation that causes your anxiety, wrong, u subconsciously expect that emotion to come up, that's what your unconsciously afraid of and reacting to, the feeling of anxiety is the lion u r afraid of, chnage how you see it, see it as excitement
@@torres8988 ..that’s really good advice. The feelings are very similar, the difference is when I’m excited, I don’t try and stop it, I let it happen, but when I’m anxious, I get scared of being anxious 😬 it’s a vicious circle with nowhere to go, I’m learning that it’s trying to stop and get rid of my anxiety that’s causing the problem. I need to let it happen, but my goodness it’s hard. I’ve been doing it for so long it’s hard to change my thinking, but I’m trying 🤗
I've existed in a prison of depression for a couple decades now.... & i would like to say your words are helpful to me with my recent recovery
Dont give up
Dr. Scott can help.
He's helped me wherever I listen to him
God bless you💜
Hy so if u got depression does that min a person has high blood pressure
I do feel the immediate relief wash over me when I avoid what makes me anxious, but then I regret making the decision to avoid because I feel like people are judging me for being weak and irresponsible - like avoiding family get togethers or going to work. It's not much better if I do decide to go to work or see family either, it's like life is just miserable if I do or I don't and I am not sure how to reconcile that at all.
I completely and totally understand you! You are not alone. I avoid the same things. I became a substitute teacher’s aide so that I can choose work when i feel comfortable, but even then I still get overwhelmed and so anxious that I cancel. I have trouble holding down a real job. I also avoid friends and some family :/
I feel like people are judging me as well thinking I suck as a person. & you’re right even if i try, I still dont feel any better or think I couldve gone about my day not having to experience that. Dont know if im just a really introverted person or anxiety filled one
@@xxharuchanomg same, I avoid meeting my bf's friends coz I feel they r way cooler than me and I feel they judge me for being quiet and boring. Apart from that other stuff, I force myself to do that even though I'm nervous but even though it goes well it doesn't make me feel better, I feel more anxious after that. I don't know wts the solution for that. I'm anxious both ways, it's soo horrible that I get a panic attack that makes me nausea and dizzy. I also feel very guilty when I avoid it and also keep thinking that people are judging me for missing opportunity.
It is an amazing feeling not gonna lie. For me it started in high school with making up excuses to my mom to stay home because I had such paralyzing fear and anxiety about going to school where I was treated like garbage by almost everyone. My life ended in 10th grade basically. I died back then and only a shell of a person remains.
@@SueDonim-iy6ml I understand how you feel
Also, one thing that helps is not blaming yourself for feeling anxiety, like "if only you were more courageous". No! That's a very incorrect way to think about how our personalities work. You have some agency, but a large part of it is your environment and your upbringing, analyse these two and you'll understand why you are the way you are, and why blaming yourself doesn't make sense even if it feels like it's your fault.
Dr. Scott. Thank you for sharing your gift and risking to sit with us in our darkest fears, you always know the topics i wanted to ask you.
The world is much safer and livable with you and your gifts 💙💙💙💙💙
I really appreciate that Ralph ❤️
By the grace of God, I found you. Dr. Scott you verbalize what has happened to me.
Thank you Dr. Scott I needed to hear this. My psychologist isn’t as good as you. I suffer with agoraphobia and have for nine years and it’s getting really rough being imprisoned in my own home.
@@DrScottEilers We all feel this way about you. You have been a godsend to me and others. Thank You for being you
I'm 74 years old. I used to be fearless, now I fear everything. Food shopping, all appointments, now, even
going out for a walk. I wake up to the moon. I never see daylight. It's November 30th and in Toronto it gets light out at 8am
and dark at 4:30pm. I say in bed all day.
I get it. But why? What happened, what's really behind this...I'm heading towards this...what's your best guess?
Gratitude. Think of just three things you are grateful for first thing when you wake. Could be grateful for just waking up. Your comfortable bed. The roof over your head that protects you. Be grateful first thing and it will change your day. Do it every morning and it will change your life.
I know how it feels I’m 39 I lost my mum she was 57 years when she passed away I felt completely heart broken I wish she could of stayed longer it’s not fair at all she was always there for me I just hope if there is an afterlife she gets something better ❤️🙏
I'm 61 & I'm the same. Always going, going, going.
Now I sit staring out the window, watching the world go by. 😢
Same here,think it stems from not trusting our bodies,loneliness and bone problems…….. was so different
I think I was aware that avoidance was strengthening my anxiety.
But the overwhelmed thing is a problem for me. I do the thing, it goes ok… but internally I’m losing my mind and the anxiety still compounds
He does address that very phenomenon -- he talks about how going through something and encoding it as horrible does indeed strengthen the anxiety. The exposure needs to be within an area that is not overwhelming; just a little uncomfortable, and then it becomes a kind of medicine. Like how inoculation - a vaccine - is actually a tiny amount of the pathogen; it strengthens the immune system. A tiny bit of exposure to the anxiety provoking thing strengthens the ability in that area. He gives a couple of examples (e.g., speaking to a group of 2 people instead of a lot; going to Walmart at 10:00 a.m on a Tuesday instead of 1:00 pm on a Saturday)
@@user-zk5rt3gb3e Excellent analogy. Thank you. That helps.
Keep in mind, progress in this is almost never consistent/steady. It can be a wild up/down cycle where it gets better...then worse....then better.....then worse than before....then better, etc. So when you fall back into anxiety, you've got to keep going even a little because you need to build confidence with the downfalls or "relapses" also.
I realized every time I go to my hometown, which is close to where I live, I get this gripping fear. Yesterday I decided to take a walk in this town and create new memories. Was very freeing!
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏💜 Any trauma or fear based incidents attached to that town? Just wondering.❤
@@patriciamharris5664
Definitely 💯! For my whole childhood.
I was afraid to fly until I experienced passive suicidal ideation, and then I didn't care. After I did it, it opened up a lot more opportunities for me to vacation and get away. Which in turn, helps with my depression.
I would like to hear about anxiety as it relates to a series of losses….deaths, jobs, relationships….
Absolutely, I lost my husband and mother and a niece within a year. My anxiety skyrocketed. Gave up my job to take care of my husband. Being his caregiver kept me home and I got stuck. 6 yrs later and I'm worse. Tired of beating myself up and I am forcing myself to see people and go somewhere at least 2 times a month.
@@mightymouse1005..I related to when you said you beat yourself up, I think I get angry with myself for getting anxious, and grief feels like anxiety to me. I don’t want to let go and feel grief because I’m scared I’ll never come out of it, but pushing it down is leading to more anxiety.
It’s always hard to imagine someone speaking into a camera so relaxed and easy ever had real anxiety. Seeing it is inspiring to say the least.
Yeah I want so badly to be able to do this...but I'm permanently traumatized and anxiety/fear rule my life. All the while I can't stop insulting myself with negative self talk.
Man you have no idea how badly I wanted to become a successful content creator. Getting paid to put my work into the world and covering topics I love. A passionate job that doesn't feel like "work".
The permanent low self esteem and internalized bullying ensures I can never have that. I can't even do "faceless" RUclips or streaming because even when I'm alone I can barely get my voice out. My internal energy just automatically wants me to be quiet. On a different channel I attempted to get started with making videos but I couldn't even finish making any actual content because halfway through I would destroy my progress with negative self talk and convince myself to just delete it and stop trying.
And then I know if I ever did finish anything and upload I would panic and either private the video or outright delete it within like 5 minutes. I know if I even read one or two cruel comments it is going to shatter the tiny pathetic bit left that is my self esteem.
And it is agonizing being aware of normal well adjusted people who achieved the dream I want . So on top of everything, I also have to fight to contain envy and jealousy. People will say that is childish or whatever but it is a normal response for someone living with ptsd and a ton of mental baggage. At least I can admit it though. Envy is so hard to ignore when you know your life got destroyed and you're left incapable of achieving those goals. I'm like a fucking vampire or something forced to live in the shadows.
I'm on the spectrum, and have had debilitating anxiety when trying to make friends in social situations. I would keep throwing myself into social situations, but I couldn't figure out why I still felt anxious even after succeeding. It all makes sense now: I was in over my head, building anxiety even when succeeding. Thank you Dr. Scott!
Anxiety can totally feel like a prison cell. Some days I can fight my way through and some days hiding out wins. As long as we stay in the game of exposure therapy, as you say Dr., we will win out!
I have never heard it spoken so perfectly before. Your initial definition or description of anxiety, man I had to stop was I was doing to listen, because I'd have bet money you had a camera on me for years.
I work a night shift job, I do all my shopping as soon as the stores open, I'm horribly out of shape, I dread having people see me but I do nothing about it despite having the knowledge of how to fix it, because I've done it before, but I just can't muster the willpower anymore.
I have a badass car, my dream car since I was four, but I botch driving it (it's manual transmission) because I'm so anxious about the process and about everyone around me looking at me, because the car gets a LOT of stares.
I know this innately, exposing myself to something repeatedly makes me less anxious and far more comfortable with it, but after a few weeks if I haven't kept up with it I'm back to square one. It makes me so mad.
I do the avoidance shit so damn often, and that hit of relief really is addictive. I crave it as much as I hate it.
I hate how my life has ended up at 33, but I shudder to think how I'd be right now if I hadn't started to fix other aspects of my life at 30. I've completely ignored my health and I'm paying for it already, having old man issues, and I hate myself for it.
I just needed to vent. This video hit me hard. I used to think, "Oh yeah I have a little anxiety but it's just my shyness." After living alone, and then isolating myself for the past 8 years I thought "hell yeah I'm good, I don't have to deal with people." It was an awful mistake. I regret it every day.
You're so lucky. You've got so much time to improve where your head and life is at. I wish I would have had access to this information when I was 33. My life might have been different. Better. Hang in there! We're all struggling.
I have been struggling with this for basically all of my life in different ways and stages. It has been so crippling and deprived me of so many things in life, I am so unbelievably sick of it.
At times I have been successful in breaking out of it, I was able to achieve a lot, but something always comes along thst sucks me back in and it has been worse than ever in recent times.
I just don't understand why I am this way, what led me to be this way even since I was a kid - being afraid of so many things, not daring to try lots of stuff, thinking I am not able to do things that seem nornal for many. It is so frustrating.
I relate to this so much. It is incredibly frustrating.
I absolutely know how that feels.. It's all about slowly standing your ground and confronting what's supposedly trying to kill you. Don't let it steal your happiness nor your opportunities... Go there and slowly approach life in a way that allows you to gain confidence little by little and don't fear death nor panic attacks.. If they occur so be it! But you MUST do something about it otherwise you will be like this for the rest of your life. ❤
I usually attack it head on. If I feel anxious or afraid of something, I take that as a sign that that is something I need to figure out how to do. I’m too hard on myself, but I don’t use fear as an excuse. Because of that I’m constantly taking things on. This makes me very, very different from most people.
But I’m more afraid of being someone who is too afraid to tackle things. But the downside of it is that I don’t relate to people well. Most people choose safety and security. Both things I like, by the way. I just do the opposite of what most people do.
Because of this (and maybe being an asshole at times), I don’t really have any friends. But I’m very loyal to people who will have me.
I admire your strength
@@TLA123y6f I appreciate that.
You make mental health problems a lot easier to deal with👍 thank you so much
Dr Scott is our hero. he validates and gives us compassion. I actually feel SAFE. And fear and anxiety has ruled my world.
Scott, your lived experience and your articulation of it makes you super relatable. This video was right on. Thanks, peace.
I’m going to see my doctor about my anxiety today…and I have extreme anxiety about it. If it wasn’t so horrible it would actually be funny. Thank you for this video.
What if your fear/anxiety and depression is so bad that you immediately get terrified of thinking about doing a very basic thing? For example, “I think I’ll fold the laundry now.” Or “I’m going to take a shower” and each of those thoughts is immediately followed by fear, confusion, and the freeze response. All of these thoughts and feelings happening while your rational brain keeps saying that something is wrong with you - because it is irrational to be afraid of basic tasks.
Thanks again, Dr. Scott. I've never had "panic attacks," but I've practiced avoidance for a lot of things in my life. I think I've made some progress with what you call exposure therapy. It has helped in some areas, but I have other areas I need to work on. Always a WIP. 🙂
Thanks! You speak with such clarity and humility. I appreciate your presentation of this difficult topic!❤
Thank you so much!
The Worst is when you have reasons for anxiety but no solution for it.
That's where I'm at and it's horrible. I keep on praying.
This rings so true to my experience with anxiety and avoiding. Do you have any insights about how the pandemic has impacted people with anxiety and depressive disorders? I was mostly coping ok before the pandemic. Then pandemic turned my anxiety and depression up 1000%. I’m actually struggling more now than I was in 2020.
@ emmel
Mine has gotten better.as an introvert I finally was not getting crap talk from people
Mine was also better during pandemic but skyrocketed out of control when work from home ended.
The pandemic really made my anxiety and depression much worse. Pretending to go "back to normal" as if nothing ever happened post-pandemic has been Hell. My world is now very small. I struggle to leave the house without having a panic attack.
They have done studies on children in school, and has shown to be demonstrably worse. As for me, i have found post-pandemic to be much harder than pre-pandemic.
Me too
Interesting to me that this affliction, if you will, is inherent, nature versus nurture. My mother was a narcissistic sociopath who allowed me to do nothing because of her own fears that I would make her look bad. My father was just a fearful person who wouldn't go up against my mother. I was afraid to try anything new as a child and adolescent. And once I left home, it took me a few years to get past that. But a great deal of self introspection, and baby steps into the world around me, solved the entire problem. I left an abusive marriage, started traveling, and am looking into moving overseas. Nothing frightens me anymore! And literally nothing causes me anxiety. Baby steps. Small victories. Keep it up, and it'll happen.
Holy Cow! Your experience is incredibly overwhelming and powerful.. The way you managed to go from point A to point B progressively and reach that level of freedom where you could do anything without feeling fear or anxiety truly speaks of your will to live life and enjoy what's there. I've struggled with anxiety for some months now due to overloads of work and a ton of pressure from college that led to me exploding like a balloon by the end of the year. I couldn't handle anything anymore and I had to put out energy from where I didn't have any. Spent these holidays at my parents house not doing much just hoping I'd feel better with time, all it did was empower my fear for living life, now I'm trying to stand my ground and slowly regain confidence in what I used to do daily without any fear. I love challenges but this is definitely one of the most difficult things I've ever had to deal with in my entire life, but I believe in myself.. ❤
True 😊 Fear is real especially in old age
I've never in my life had such fear since I turned 68.
Safe? What's that? I have learned that the 'now' is safe, not the sorrows of the past, or the fears of the future. Gripped by fear since childhood, your assessment is very accurate. "Anxious mess forever...yeah, that's it..." It has been for me. I have been using some of these techniques almost daily. Will adopt the rest now. Thanks.
Anxiety is hell on earth!
Public speaking was terrifying. I found a way to just keep doing it - now I work part time as a trainer and have to speak in front of 150 people sometimes. LOTS of practice has helped! Amazed I could do it - but realising that now I have been shockingly brave doing it over and over when it felt like it would kill me 🙂 And now I’m the one in a zoom conference who can swoop in and fill an awkward silence and help the host and participants out if there’s a blip.
Woah. Thank you Dr. Scott! I have so much negativity bias I didn’t realise until now HOW MUCH of an achievement it has been to overcome my fear of public speaking to some extent!
How did u do it?
THis is true. I am terrified of dentist and I faced it and did ir afraid, I just found the most caring dentist who made it possible. I am still scared no matter how many times I go , BUT my teeth are finally healthy and I can smile again...avoidance was my strong suit for the last 20 years. Trust GOD and do it afraid, and you will say after how easy it was and how much stronger you feel!
Dr. Scott, thank you for this. I often equate anxiety as a self perpetuating Möbius strip of doom! Anxiety + catastrophizing everything is the ultimate spiral downward.
Yes! I do sit around and agony for days to psych myself up to get something done wow! it helps to know what the steps are for improvement and to recognize this experience is not limited to me.
The older you become, if you see reality as it really is, you want less to do with people and a global financial, sociological, political, militaristic and economic show and lie. You've been through so much that you see through most everything and everyone if you are lucky enough to be that sensitive, observational and intelligent. People are not interested in meeting old and older people without delusions. Being alone is a privilege. Your body also increasingly limits activity. Your friends die as you get old, your parents and most people you've ever known are dead, your dreams have died. The themes of existence become redundant. No one gives a **** about you and if it appears they do, they usually ( not always) but just want something from you. Anyone that believes in a god has rocks in their head. Anyone that thinks the government can or wants to protect you from technocrats and corporations is delusional. Most things are a fleeting monetary transaction and responsibility. No matter what most males say and some females, if they are heterosexual, they are not internally comfortable around homosexual men or being emotionally intimate and close with them. No one wants to be outside of their bubbles by the time they are in their 50s. I'm almost 70 and I can tell anyone what life is all about but most of them can not handle it. We are nothing but transitory, sentient beings that pass very quickly and literally go back to the water and chemicals that we are.
I'm not disagreeing with Dr. Eilers. I like him and what he is stating. What I wrote and what he is saying are two different things. You have to be very strong, philosophical and reality based to face and live in old age. I'm relatively active. How can I not be? I lived alone most of my life and now am living with a 50 something that is struggling with all kinds of issues on my dime. But he always was a good friend, had a good heart and could see through the bull of this life as I could. People constantly lie to themselves and others either consciously or unconsciously. Most everything is a monetary transaction of one sort or another. If you want love, get a dog. They really don't love you, they depend on you for survival.
Money becomes the most important thing in life because your health depends on it. Physical and mental health is the most important because that is all you have if you are lucky in the end but most people are a danger or an obstacle to you in one form or another ( think of getting caught in a long traffic jam or your car breaking down in very cold weather at night or think about battling with your health insurance company for the coverage you deserve ). Most other humans just want to do a monetary transaction with you or they are inconsequential to your existence. If you leave this life with one person truly caring about you and your feelings, then you are very lucky. Care about yourself and be your own best friend. We all are just future business for the funeral industry. Ironically I was friends with a licensed funeral director for about two decades. You should hear the brightest and most honest of them talk. Almost all of them are atheists but they have to lie for their "Show Business".
Great video Dr. Scott. Could you make a video about anxiety coping skills? Thanks! So happy you're getting more exposure.
Help me please. I’m scared of about everything around me.
Thank you. .
Sometimes just going shopping, to a nearby shop, a planned show, on a tram or train can be so overwhelming tjat I will avoid it and do without what I needed to buy meaning no food, cigarettes or whatever! 😢 its like punishing myself! I hate it! but cannot stop it!😢😢
I do the same thing. As a matter of fact I have no food in the house right now except a few boxes of crackers and some cheese. I must push myself past the discomfort or "embrace the suck" to grow past this. I hope you can push through as well ❤❤❤ p.s. I have cats and they eat much better than I do thanks to Amazon ❤😂 😂😂😂
@@karenr411 Oh wow, was feeling as if I was only one who did this, so sorry you do it too💜
...and yes my cat is well fed too😉(amazon is my pal too) Its as if I am on a different wavelength, I really do care but not really believing it...aaaargh! Hard to explain...
Hopefully we can push through and find some relief...good wishes to you and love to you and cats.💜x
I am sorry you struggle so much. Your anxiety is stronger than your addiction... on a bright side you will smoke less...
Thank you for opening my eyes.
I feel anxious most of the time and I don't allow it to shrink my world any further. I thought it must get better but my body is telling me it gets worse. Now I see, part of the Problem is, I overwhelm myself on a regular basis just to live my life, get stuff done and not inhibit my childs life. I kind of force myself to do the right, normal things but my body reacts with tension, cold hands, numbness, tightness in my chest and stomach and nightterrors. I have to do so many things that cause physical high stress to functional freeze or shutdown reactions to care for me and my child. I'm a single parenting mother. Often my body feels numb and I forget many things during intense times. Now before Christmas is such a time. Family's or friends meet and celebrate or struggels theyr way through Christmas traditions. I feel painful reminded that I feel very much alone and failed to provide a healthy enough family for my child who don't think twice to share his frustration with me and others. I feel blamed then and so lonely, left behind. My heart is aching these days. I try to bring myself in balance, to regulate my nervous system. These days the disregulation remains. I'm thankful that I'm noticing this and give my best to stay at my side with kindness. To offer myself compassion even if I don't have a blueprint for how to offer it to me...
Thank you for your helpful videos
And kindness to yourself. Dont forget this. 💜