Wow. My husband and I are around your age and feel like we are struggling with just the relentlessness of being an adult and parent. This is one of the most helpful videos I’ve ever seen. The fact I can listen to someone of your caliber for free in my home is absolutely astounding. Thank you for taking the time to make these videos.
I feel the exact same way. I'm getting answers to questions that I know I wouldn't be asking my new therapist (only seen her twice now) for quite some time. That's one of the big downfalls of starting with a new therapist. Suffice it to say that I have had more than my share of traumatic events that have occurred in my life, and I haven't had a clue how to handle them. I suppress so much. Dr. Scott's podcasts are really helping me understand all my loose screws. It will or would take years to discuss my these things with a therapist face to face. Being able to read comments from folks with more than their own fair share of issues and having the opportunity to comment back is very freeing for me. I'm probably not making any sense because it's late, and I'm beat. I hope you catch my drift, though.
@@vickykent353 YES! Thank you so much for replying to me!! I relate to you so much. I have done therapy off and on for years and I know the struggle of finding and starting with someone new. You need to and you want to, but it's also a lot of work to bring them up to speed on your life. WHEW. Who knew that being an adult would be so hard. We are lucky in this day and age we have access to so much more information than previous generations did, but with that comes a lot of pressure to do it all perfectly right!!!! It really felt nice to have someone respond to me today, so thank you so much!!
Cut yourself some slack, cos being a parent is NOT easy breezy and any one who says it is..lied! But if for most of the time you tried your best, you are already a winner 😁
CBT is like this. The whole thing is based on the premise that the depressed person is wrong. But sometimes the depressed person isnt wrong and the bad things are real.
I've probably seen 8 therapists in my lifetime of 55 years... And didn't resonate with most of them. Your explanation is so clear and so simple. Thank you. I've saved it and will listen to it again.
Life is difficult, sometimes it is bloody awful. And we are not born with a guide to "living our best life". We spend our entire lives endeavoring to make sense of a world which, quite often, does not make sense. An ancient Roman (Cicero? Seneca?) wrote "pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." Maybe not the easiest advice to follow, but it is an important idea to remember. It will not automatically take away the pain, but it can help, to some degree, make it more.bearable.
I am listening to this on September 9th 2024. Everything you say is so heartfelt I get tears in my eyes. Thank you for putting yourself out there for all of us. I really needed to hear this today. I am struggling with finding who I really am and this is a good start for me. God bless you Dr. Scott❤
One thing I know from living it..I'm 74 years old and there is a silent unreported epidemic of depression, anxiety, loneliness, isolation and suicide in the elderly. Forced retirement has resulted in thoughts that life is meaningless and you have no purpose. Your self worth plummets and boredom, monotony, and life becomes a never ending loop of doing the same thing day after day, you become habituated rote, existing, not living.
Join groups of like-minded people, take classes and learn new skills, go to activity centres for the elderly, make new friends and have fun. Don't give up on life, there are always new experiences to enjoy ❤️
@@mbolden393 I agree. We're living longer than people did in earlier times-- many people in my life have planned for career change, rather than traditional retirement. it's part of human nature for us to feel useful and valued, so making a change could make all the difference.
I love being retired! I'm busy and relaxed, finally have time for me and all the things I love to do. Even just sitting in the sun and listening to the birds is fantastic.
@@trudibarraclough478We are two birds of a feather in this case. ❤ I love the same! I can be quite simple many days, enjoying the graces and blessings of our Creator.
I've had depressive bouts all my life with no real understanding of what was happening. Tried lots of external changes and zombified myself with Prozac for a bit. Your direct approach coming from a place of personal knowledge has helped me more in the last month than anything in the previous 67 years. Thank you so much. ❤
Both of my two brothers have committed suicide. I am grateful I have found your site but also self aware enough (I think) to know that it always has to come back to me…… and I am just sooo tired of the fight. I fought the good fight for 63 years but since Covid….I am so shut down I don’t even want to try anymore. Maybe, just maybe something here will help as in my province of NS, Canada our health care system is nonexistent. 🇨🇦 Thank you for this work you are doing. You never know who’s life this may reach and save.
Tired too. 62 soon. All by myself. Fear of job loss, home loss (renting). No money. Realising the many mistakes I have made. But I know, there is a way out. It's actually comforting.
Same situation here with my 2 brothers. I was the last one to speak to both of them. It's a lot to handle sometimes. Try good probiotics for gut health and keep watching self help videos. Avoid the medical system at all cost. I wish you well.
As someone who is not so young anymore, I disagree with you. Having pain and feeling you have no purpose can make many of us unhappy. When you realize your purpose and you're able to manage your pain, I believe level of happiness goes up. I understand pain doesn't always mean physical. This is why I appreciate these videos We are not alone on our journey
@@maryannknox7158 I think that happiness is a relative term. I don't think very much whether I'm happy or not. I think of it as the absence of heartache and/or worry. On the other hand, I believe helping someone would definitely give me a good feeling that may be called "happy".
HOWEVER, some people have had a HUGE preponderance of experiences in life that ANYone would consider negative and bad feeling. It's hard to overcome that.
Hey brother. Just found you channel today. I’ve noticed that you sometimes say “I know this sounds a little cheesy” and other stuff like that, and I know to some degree that comes from a place of insecurity but I just want you to know we can feel the love emanating from your words so even if it is “a little cheesy” we can feel the care and love in your words. Stay strong man and keep speaking because you’re helping people change their lives for the better. ❤
I am trying to heal from the loss of a relationship and a job for the last 2+ years and I have lost myself and my happiness. I have just recently found you on RUclips and enjoy your videos. This one hit pretty hard, I've become isolated and don't really have a lot of friends and no single friends. My ex has married and chose to live in town which is hard for me so I don't go to town much. I'm on a roller-coaster right now and trying to find my happiness 😊
He's one of the few mental health professionals on RUclips that explode with this aura of sincerity. You can really hear it in his voice that he genuinely wants to help people.
"You *are* putting good stuff out there" I cant afford therapy, but watching your videos is helping me tremendously, especially this episode. The meaning of my name means "to be happy" and I always joked with people and say that I live up to my name ... then something changed and that feeling disappeared. I am struggeling to get it back, because I miss it and this video is just what I needed to hear again. Thank you!
In all my years of trauma therapy I wish someone could have explained this to me as easily as you did in this podcast. My translator needs to be fired for years of translating only doom. Wow! So powerful. Thank you for all your videos but especially because they are free and genuine. I have been on disability 8 years and noone has offered to help me for free. May God bless you!
.....very best approach I've ever encountered.....user friendly....respectful while realistic....genuine help....appreciative and grateful to find this healer.....
It is rare that someone of such youthful years has gained such insights as to the working influence and colors of life created by our individual minds. The collective power of our minds is a force difficult to imagine. To be able to recognize the power for both growth or destruction is a leap into true freedom.
Greetings Sir, i've been watching for a while, I have posted to your videos before but always deleted them shortly after as i didnt want to appear weak. I started watching when the dark dreams got worse. I'm a veteran with 12 yrs in the service. 2 weeks ago i decided i couldnt do it anymore and was ready to end it when a friend video called randomly, I began treatment yesterday for PTSD and wouldn't have had the strength to do so without the advice in some of your videos.
@@DrScottEilersyou are making a difference to people. Its because we can feel that you have walked in our shoes, the words, the expressions the absolute way you speak from the heart..l trust you because l know you understand. It's truly touched my soul..l know you care about us. Thank you for stretching out your hand to us and sharing your wisdom. deep appreciation. X
After years of therapy (yet still marginally to significantly depressed, depending on where I am in my depression cycle), I am consistently getting more help from your straightforward podcasts than from anyone else. I follow you religiously, and can always find new insights and actions each time. I can’t thank you enough. ❤
No one said we should be happy all of the time, however, finding joy in the world ( small things usually - a silly meme, your podcast, cake) is a worthwhile pursuit and keeps me going.
At 71, I could appreciate even just reduced stress. Definitely in shutdown and the anhedonia thing is making pain of former pleasures. (Such as viewing a much-anticipated blooming of a Christmas cactus with dread, rather than the usual enjoyment, because I see spent blooms and feel an sudden, unreasonable dread of when the now spectacular bloom will have passed entirely.) That just changing up the norms of location and activity won't help does not come as good news. I'm planning to do those changes anyway because I have no easy options for relieving the stresses. 🤷
I prayed about this in the wee hours of the morning. Your video showed up. This video answered all of the questions, I prayed about! May the Creator bless you. ❤🇹🇹 This is the first time I have seen your videos. He answered prayer. You were His instrument! ❤🇹🇹
Omg! Me too! This is my silent struggle that is SO hard to articulate! You do it so well, Dr Scott...thank you. Very practical, rational, no empty promises--your life experience and what works. St Augustine wrote about this and 'memories' in reflecting about life.
I hear you. What matters is how I receive the stuff. If I’m not happy, it’s because something is blocking me from receiving it. So many defenses I have , each blocking a kind of happiness. How to feel safe receiving love and happiness? Clear the roadblocks. For me, one is trust. It’s hard to know trust when you’ve been threatened, or even sometimes just ignored. Or not taught about conflict. Like, conflict isn’t always unsafe. So much debris in the road!
Great analogy of the tree across the road. I feel like a whole forest of trees have been blocking that road for yrs. I had cleared about 3/4 of it when my husband became ill and died a couple yrs later. So back to clearing the road again taking time for myself and revoving those trees. In the process of making new memories. Thank you for making these videos. 🙂❤
I like the glitchy translator metaphor! You mentioned the example of someone giving a compliment but it doesn’t compute. Can you talk more about the social consequences of depression, anxiety, inner critic, shame, etc. I’ve dealt with this stuff for so long that I’ve not been able to keep up socially and feel very awkward a lot of the time now.
Not true. Absence of good friends has had a direct and measurable effect on my happiness. I have always been happier when I have had friends. Loneliness kills happiness
After my first husband died twenty years ago, my life has been complete hell! Sure, we went through bad things before, but not like this! He was a very reliable, constant person…..I don’t have that anymore.
The problem with partners and friends is that they are outside of you, they can leave at any time, they've got their own lives going on, they're not always there..and why should they be...we need to be our own best friend and take responsibility for ourselves. Let others off the hook. Thats were true empowerment comes from...sometimes it's just tougher though.
I feel torn coz I have always had toxic friends and had better times than I do on my own. There's not much you can do totally on your own, I find it very limiting. And now that I have no friends, I struggle hard, except for days when I need to be alone.
Showing you, "A little Love." I love your teaching and delivery. I love the way in which you share... You are reaching us from a platform of experiences yourself. Deeply impactful and with your education which, obviously, you worked hard for - we are blessed by your messages and insight. (Along with everything else I said). Thank You!
This has totally resonated with me. I live how you think and how you explain things. There is no shortage of experts who rapid-fire technical jargon out there, but you make it real and relevant. Thank you
Wow. Watching this video at 3am will be one of those pivotal moments I look back on as life changing. I fear I’ll lose the lessons in the cacophony of life when the sun comes up, so I will listen again. Thank you for this and I’ll be sharing, too. ❤
@@DrScottEilers That must be an awesome feeling! And you do this as a free service, too. The internet is the great equalizer. Thanks again! I’m going to keep watching and sharing.
@@monadegiovanni3878 It’s so true! We’re usually having a night of insomnia or worrying about things. So it was nice to watch a video that made so much sense & was even perspective changing in an empowering way. Best wishes to you! You’re worth all the effort. 💕
There's a danger with "putting all your eggs in one basket": I had a lovely girlfriend for five years and was happy enough but since she dumped me last year it has felt like the end of the world
Sounds similar to what the Stoics talked about. That it’s not events that upset us, it’s our opinion of those events that upset us. They would 100% agree with you, that it’s our interpretations of the external that bring us positive feelings or negative feelings. To a large degree we do have control over how we CHOOSE to interpret the world.
Your road is a superhighway and the world is finding its way to your heart, Dr. Scott. You are nothing short of a phenomenon. Your content is reaching people around the world who've been suffering and needing your clear, direct, friendly voice to give them hope. Thank you for getting up the courage to start. You've inspired me!
Hi Scott. Thank you for doing these videos. I found them about two days ago and have been listening ever since. I feel like these are right on time for me. I’ve been in therapy before and have made substantial progress. But I have felt stuck. I love the metaphors. I feel hopeful again. Keep doing what you’re doing. Thanks!
I completely agree. I have always been a little overweight. I got close to 300 pounds (not shaming, just sharing) after having my 4th child. I have a blockage in my bile ducks that's been there for about 19 years or so (I'm 34) and I didn't find out until January of this year what was causing my pain. I ended up sick starting in November 2023 and ended up losing a little over 100 pounds in less than 5 months. During that time everything else went downhill all of my relationships, my work, I fell into the worst depression of my life to the point where I was having trouble getting out of bed and speaking and completing daily basic tasks. I'm still dealing with this. I haven't found a therapist yet but I'm on the lookout.
Thank you. You are helping me. I’m 63. I saw doctors for years for anxiety and depression. Every medication had rare side affects. I took Zoloft and it made me crazy. I stopped taking it suddenly without medical supervision. Thought I was going to die for about a week. I don’t take anything now. Tried natural also. They helped but I felt like a zombie. Just try to manage with information to be able to understand what I need to do to stay non-suicidal. I like your delivery. It helps and confirms what I know. I recently became aware of inner child work and that has helped. I have been struggling with depression a bit lately. Hoping it will turn around soon. It used to be worse. I think menopause helped. Vitamin deficiency also factor in. No doctor ever discussed that. Should have. Anyway really like your podcast.
That faulty translater is EXACTLY right. So much of my life has been lost because my inner translation told me something that was not true. And it is so difficult. My "translater" constantly told me people were not understanding and quick to anger and expected perfectionism of me, and so I have projected that on people who just want to accept me. Working through it is probably the most difficult process I have (it is still an ongoing process).
I been dealing with what I think is ptsd because of what happened at the facility I was working at during covid. I'm a nurse.by the was. Currently have sessions with a counselor to deal with the grief. I been watching your episodes on u tube to get some insight into dealing with the depression and the anxiety. You have helped so much. Thank you.
Everyone in the medical field during covid has my absolute admiration & respect. You had a really tough time when the whole world was scrambling for answers. Thank you so much for your efforts & I'm sorry you're struggling now.
I can only say that this wonderful video about finding "happiness" resonated "Right On The Button" for me!!! I've been struggling with Mental Illness for ALL of my 68 yrs (anxiety, depression, CPTSD, OCD and now BPD). Thank You so much, Dr. Scott, for helping all those people -- like me -- find truthful and clear answers, as to why we get "stuck" in "self-imposed mental prisons" which deny us of living "happy", and healthier lives. Tks!! Great job!!! ❤ 🙏
This really helped me. 58, struggling with severe depression, trauma, cptsd, and suicidal. This was a breath of fresh air, in my stale life. Thank you!!
Sent a thanks because this is the first time I've ever, ever heard a mental health professional say what I've been trying to communicate to all of mine for almost two decades: the problem is not that my life is bad, or that I'm doing it wrong and need to do it better. The problem is that my brain cannot find rewarding things rewarding. There is a tree fallen across my road and I physically cannot enjoy or positively anticipate basically anything. I'm not sad, I'm frustrated! I don't even know what my goals ARE because I can't WANT anything, only move away from what I know I DON'T like. I have a car that can only turn left. I have met exactly one professional who so much as understood what I mean by this, and I had to learn a lot of jargon about dopamine pathways and the autonomic nervous system to explain it in a way that clicked for him. So thank you. It means so much to see it out there explained in plain terms by someone who not only gets it but is spending his life putting it into practice and HELPING. Thank you thank you thank you.
I'm 60 years old, I do have something that I have tracked through my life that has always brought me more happiness. All the best times of my life have all been when I was single. When I was in relationships there was always some kind of extra drama that made my life much harder. PS. Do I get lonely sometimes? Yes I do but not nearly as much as I thought I would. Right now even though I do get lonely at times I feel like being single is better for my mental health, my life is just easier this way.
I couldn't agree more! I've been single for 20 yrs now. Even when the relationships were in their first best flush I felt less happy. Now that my kids have left home I take such joy in not being needed anymore. Just me looking out for myself.
Thank you so much. After more than 10 years of counseling which I gave up on 5 years ago, you are shining a bright light on the hardest issues I deal with. Guilt and regret are with me every second because of misunderstanding what is actually happening in my mind. The idea if will power being finite and your daily choices being connected to the highest stimulation activities that you enjoy the most. Also, willpower is actually used when you choose not to do what you love the most was eye-opening to me. So thank you again. You are helping me more than all the counseling I have previously received.
That actually makes sense. I think my translator has gone on vacation or disappeared and that's why I'm not getting any new memories and I don't experience almost anything anymore. I'm just very tired and stressed and doing my stuff like a robot. When I'm alone without anything external I feel just fine, maybe sometimes bored (hardly ever) or tired, but fine, and relieved. Before I was happy enough in my life, but then everything started to go wrong and there was just too much of everything. And yes, I've been trying to do all of those sleeping, nutrition etc. things, but always when I'm doing some progress something comes up and interrupts my progress. If I could have just a week or two just for me, without any disasters, I might even get up from this swamp. But thanks, that makes me more confident about my strategy, that I'm on the right path even if there are some huge stones and holes and mud and f*cking aggressive aliens on that path. 😅
Ive watched seemingly every self help psychotherapist type of person on youtube but just found this guy and he is the most calm, relatable, encouraging, explanatory, real and seemingly genuine dude of em all. no silly slideshows or clickbait either so good wholesome advice experience and storytelling/analogies. KEEP IT UP
I like the blocked road metaphor. That's exactly what my struggle/quest for happiness feels like. I suffer from depression that gets to be severe at times, and right now I'm working with someone who is probably the best therapist I've ever had. I've gained new insights into what is blocking my road, and I'm beginning to realize that sustained happiness will require ongoing work to keep that road clear.
I wonder how late diagnosis autism feeds into all of this. I have recently been asked by a therapist if I have been diagnosed with autism and I started looking onto it as I didn't know much at all about it. I am female and 51 and I think that many of the reasons I hate myself and blame myself for everything could be that imy brain is wired differently. I have read a lot about it in the last few months and will be going to get a diagnosis soon but it does make me wonder if that has been blocking my road for all these years. It's like your translator analogy, that the world speaks one language and I speak another one. I thought I spoke the 'right' language but I had been misinterpreting the messages all my life. I have been miserable for the majority of my life. Your video really made me think about the messages not getting through and whether you have any theories on this.... thanks, from the person fighting the bear with a plastic fork (I love that analogy!)
Dr. Scott, I have gotten so, so much from your podcasts. They have provided me with a way to understand myself much more than years spent with several therapists. I have benefitted so much from the dozen or so I've listened to starting with the one on passive SI. Please keep doing what you're doing. I'm absolutely positive that you are helping so many people! I am absolutely blessed to have found you. ❤❤ BTW, I forwarded this particular podcast to 2 people so far.
Just found you a couple of days ago, this was 4th or so video I've watched/listened to.Absolutely phenomenal. It's like you're mind reader. All good stuff. Explained in a way that, for lack of better description, just clicks & makes sense. Thank you for doing this.
I am 70 now and have suffered from anxiety/panic disorder, at times acute and depression all of my life. I wish I would have had a resource such as this channel when I was in my 20's (in an abusive marriage) worst health of my life. I know that you genuinely understand because you have been through the mill too. Mostly people, including family don't understand and I have felt very alone most of my life. Stress (life being out of control, financially or otherwise )is definitely my trigger. When I perceive I am secure and safe life can tick along for stretches of time without a glitch or a symptom. Thank you Dr. Scott for taking the time to make these videos available to those of us who can't access any other help. 🙏
I just want to say: THANK YOU Dr Scott. I just came across this video of yours as I've been living thru one of the most painful depression episodes in the last 2 years and I was drowning in my thoughts and feelings as your podcast started to play and I believe it was God that made it play to help me in this period of my life. Just wanted to let you know that I am so thankful for finding your messages in this extremely hectic and challenging world where we feel alone most of our lives without a person who can truly speak to us to make us understand what really matters. Thank you so very much and God Bless.
You reached me and my family at the very right moment in time and I’m almost out of words as to how express how grateful we feel to have found you today. Too much to explain but if I could choose one single great thing that I have discovered on the Internet it is you! So many years of dealing with anxiety, depression, Asperger’s, severe illnesses, etc. with such a long list of therapists, doctors, testing, medications and no real great advice or results from anyone or anything. You just changed that for us and I’m soaking up as much of your wisdom as I can. Eternally grateful to you, THANK YOU! ❤️
Your way of explaining things makes sense to me. I am concept designer and your way of using stories and pictures in your telling, visualises things to me better than any other `just do this, ask questions later`- kinda stuff. So, please go on and keep on things visual to us, it will help even more people!
Thank you! I spent years in therapy after having a child. That event made me acutely aware of how traumatic my childhood was. Through all that talk therapy, I never experienced a professional who provided so much rich and beneficial ideas that improve the quality of life. Thank you!
I just strive to be "content".. usually it involves getting quiet, paying attention to my thoughts and thinking grateful thoughts. Being too plugged into the "matrix" makes me miserable.
Finally! A concise description of the disconnect I feel with depression. It sucks to struggle just to communicate. It feels exhausting. I need a book that breaks down the rules. I have never had a clue how to decipher the rules. I was raised to be a good catholic girl with all that implies. So I have to fight through the misinformation and attempts to mislead built into religious training. By the time you get to the surface you are battered bleeding and worn out. Welcome to the beginning. Wow I sound so negative. Sorry for that. Thank you Dr Scott for the information. You help.
I listened to you. I have these these passive suicidal thoughts and yes following through scares me and I wonder when will I do it. And I can’t be happy with my life and it’s nothing really. Thank you for helping me get some incite as to why I still here.
I don’t know where to start. I make myself walk every day. I love to collect things so when I walk I I pick up rocks cause I like to collect rocks or I collect buttons and then I like to count them. I like to sort them but it makes me happy, I like fixing things that makes me happy. I’m trying to understand people I’m staying away with caution but also I’m trying to make friends. I never had friends before very hard but I see where you’re coming from. Thank you sometimes you have everything in life and still not be happy, but you have to figure out what is good for you and if it’s not good get away from it or find what makes you happy if this makes sense I don’t know
YT's algorithm put one of your videos in my feed, and it's spooky, how predictable I must be. I've been pretty distressed for the last couple of weeks -- it's always like that on holidays, but this time, I found out that my worst fears -- being excluded by family -- came true. I knew it. I freaking knew it. I've been through this before, and (kick self) I later laughed at myself for being paranoid. Not god for one's self esteem, and I dread the idea of a family member showing up & charming me back into laughing at myself. I've been googling how to trust oneself, because that's the issue I can start working on, and my plan is: walking & picking garbage up around the village. Get myself out of the house since I tend to self-isolate.. I'm hoping I'll have more ideas, and your videos are helping.
I'm 32 not that it matters. I've been really down lately. I felt like I was 'healing' for lack of a better word maybe processing negative stuff from growing up. I feel like I don't remember a lot of my childhood. That kind of scares me too going forward. Anyways what I thought was helping actually led to me being as depressed as I was as a teenager. Feeling of stagnation, being lost & just overwhelmed (even overwhelmed with thoughts of positive things too). It really sucks but I've seen a few of your videos now and they're really helping. Your book too, I'm not that far in, I'm a slow reader but it's resonating. I've watched other people's videos before on this subject matter but most are rather forgettable. No offense intended, they just don't click in the same way I guess. Thanks for your videos I'm sure most of us take something good from them and appreciate it
Dr Scott again you answered my questions. I have been paying Mental Health People for treatment for some 50 years. In the last few days i have learned more about my problems and myself and Finally how to start to fix myself. You are a Miracle to me. Last month i O D. I did live but i was planning to do something more final. Like a gun. This is when on RUclips i came across your video on Suicide Ideation. Now i have progressed to a morning routine and most of all getting outside and moving. You truly are a gift from GOD. There is a place for you already in Heaven GOD forbid when the time comes..
This is the most interesting video I have seen in a very long time. When people like me have a relapse on a yearly basis, it can become very difficult to get excited about trying to enable their body to be on top form (ie not just lay in bed in a darkened room all day and eat poor nutritional food.) Somehow you managed to put a new viewpoint in the mix and I now feel fired up for the challenges ahead instead of defeated. Thank you for sharing.
I agree with your interpretation. Perhaps life it easier for me right now, since I am alone and on my own without anyone to cooperate/argue with, so I do what feels right to me. BUT, it is still my interpretation of the world that helps me be happy. Gratitude. Finding joy in the simple things. Appreciate it. Understanding that things, products, fashion, fancy homes, does not make a person happy. I decided that a long time ago. So it's nice to get some confirmation of my point of view.
I am watching this, post 2024 election. I could never truly express how this video, and so many others you have produced, have helped me...today, and in the past. I literally am shedding tears of gratitude for these lifesaving contributions of yours. You are a bright light, and l hope and pray that it is, and will show us the way to our own light; illumination for ourselves, and to use as a gift to others. I purchased your first book. Will also look forward to buying your next one. Blessings to you and yours. Blessings to all who follow you.
Dear Scott, thanks! I'm 46,MD since 2007, in therapy since I was 21. No Diagnose (just since 2020 - couse of an "Event" PTBS, Panic Disorder, severe Insomnia, reaktive Depression (hope it is the right Translation) but working on myself since I get out family home. Your Explaining is very very good. After 27 years working on myself YOU give so much new and things to think about it. THX 😊 Fixed nearly all (not the Insomnia) but at 04.01. this year got an life changing event and it all came back. Worse as ever. BMI of 14 🥺. YOUR videos helped me the most. Thanks for your work 💐
Nothing you say is cheesy you are ABSOLUTELY AMAZING and helping soooooo many people out there and know you are an Angel dropped from heaven to do everything you do!!
Thank you so much for your wisdom and easy-to-understand (mostly) insights. I’m in my 70’s, have dealt with mental health issues all my life really but only became aware of the depth of them a few years ago when I tried to end my life……and my pain and my dark feelings of hopelessness. I became a peer support specialist and received training that helped other people benefit from my lived experience but also taught me skills to manage my mental health rather than become its victim. I’ve been in mental health recovery for over several years now and have gained so much understanding about not only my own mental health but that of others too. Things do get better but it takes hard work and dedication to become healthy and maintain it. I’m so glad I chose that path for myself.
So I came across your videos a few weeks ago when I was in a very deep hole. I definitely had (passive) suicidal ideations and was looking for some helpful videos or people with similar experiences. Don’t worry - I’m better at the moment and I‘ve arranged to go to a day clinic soon. Just wanted to say that it’s extremely helpful of you to share your own experiences but through the filter of a professional, de-demonizing suicidality and giving a positive perspective that it can be overcome. It often feels like it’s forbidden to talk about those things openly because it will make people see you as a freak and call 911 right away! As you said in another video - mental illness is not always cute or quirky. Sometimes it overshadows your whole life. Anyway - I find your videos very relatable and helpful. Sometimes I think more therapists should have gone through the „practical experience“ of having been mentally Ill themselves- although in reality I don’t wish that upon anyone of course! Keep it up!👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
So,so observant. The "inner dialogue whisperer." Bravo! Great channel. Was responding to a comment and mentioned i've already had at least three light bulb moments watching videos on your channel. Brand new viewer as of today. Now I get to really examine why my ambient state(s)seem to be mad and/or sad.
Thank you for doing you vlog/podcasts on RUclips. I am doing several things to attempt to minimize the effects of depression and anxiety in my life. After 25 years of meds, 20 years on/off therapy, 15 years Alanon & AA I still struggle. I am finding your vids extremely enlightening, and compassionate. It gets hard to stay hopeful when it doesn’t actually ‘go away’.
This was again, so genuine and helpful! You are standout among a crowd of booksmart, not "lifesmart" therapists. You are living this, and come from a place of " knowing " what this feels like firsthand! You are a gift to us all🎉
Thank you for making this video. I have been lost and mistranslating my entire life. I have been in years and years of therapy with little progress. Things just couldn’t click. Your video made complete sense, more important gave me the desire to clean and fix my road. Thank you so much you saved my life today.
Coming to grip with who I am, the good the bad the ugly, and accepting myself, trying to better myself and not confirming to society is only a start to accepting oneself. Being happy in my own inner world, realising only i can control my psyche, brings me peace. Thank you for explaining so eloquently. Opened my eyes, how simple it really all is.
You are AMAZING!! I’ve stumbled upon you in the last couple days. I am currently experiencing a depressive episode and have entertained passive SI. I’ve had depression and anxiety all of my life, it’s so debilitating and EXHAUSTING- I feel like you are looking right into my soul and explaining what’s happening- WOW WOW WOW. Thank you for your support, I will continue to follow you by subscribing and sharing with others. Bless you Scott 🙏
this is one of the best videos I have watched on RUclips. I am an organisational psychologist who runs large scale mental health programs, and have written four books on how to change from the inside out. Scott's metaphor of clearing the road is a brilliant explanation of the nature of sustainable change and I agree with everything he says
I love the way you explain things. It makes me understand the way I feel. Thank you so much for all you do. Just know you are very much appreciated. Thank you… Thank you… Thank you…. Keep making videos!!!👍👍👍❤️❤️❤️🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🌟🌟🌟
How I wish I could communicate even half as well as this guy; I am in total awe of his ability to convey positivity. It always feels so personal, like he's just speaking to you alone. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Damn, he's good.
I think you’re right and it’s terrifying because it feels awful to be me. I used to love being me even when I was alone. I was never bored. I had a rich in her life and now I’m just tormented and trying to cope and keep myself alive one moment to the next not even knowing why just doing it out of respect for life and because I don’t want all of those who tried to kill me and who abused me to win.
You’re absolutely fantastic, and there’s so much value to your content. Thank you so much for putting all this hard work in so that so many of us can benefit from it
I love this video, and gratefully, discovered your channel just a couple days ago! Close to your age and resonate with a lot of your life story. I took a path into full on addiction from my early depression, but I was an absolute lover of the video games as well. I remember when the NES came out, hours and hours and hours on super Mario brothers and the first jaws game! I really love being outdoors in nature now as well… I also contracted Lyme disease during my last year of university, and it’s been such an extraordinary loss Center able to go outdoors match or exercise really at all for 13 years. From triathlon level shape, to. Not being able to even go for a small jog, without being completely sick, and laid out for two or three days afterwards.
You are a rockstar, you popped in my screen in a time where I needed tools to heal from past pain and abusive relationships. I'm in my 60s and during Pandemic I froze, gain a bunch of weight and had self hatred and if it wasnt for the fact that I'm the care giver of parents I was ready to give up. I could do things for other people but not for me. Ive😊 lost 50 Lbs, I'm deep cleaning my house and made up my mind that my 60s are going to golden, awesome, powerful, and I can live longer I f I choose. Thank you
You are an excellent teacher. You do not speak from what you've learned from books, you speak from your heart. Sincerety is hard to find today. You are a beautiful soul.
Thanks man I really appreciate what you're doing. I've never found anybody I can really talk to confidently in person so counseling has always been out of the question.RUclips has been a savior for my mental health. It has also been the reason why a lot of people's conscience and and Spirit has awakened. Although it would be very nice to do so, people do not need to travel across the world to experience different cultures, hidden knowledge, and mastery of skills. The Internet has been a real game changer for human beings.
I absolutely love this video! I actually practice these small victory things daily. Somehow I have gleaned this practice from several inspirational help sources over my life. I love the John Madden story. Now I realize I've had victories everyday and I do give myself daily credit. I celebrate myself periodically for them whenever I think to do it. Like I take myself for coffee and a treat or just do any small activity I've wanted to do, like hobbies.❤
Finally, a mental health doctor who cares about helping the disturbed find answers. YOU'RE THE BEST!!!
Yes, disengaged is horrible!!
Wow. My husband and I are around your age and feel like we are struggling with just the relentlessness of being an adult and parent. This is one of the most helpful videos I’ve ever seen. The fact I can listen to someone of your caliber for free in my home is absolutely astounding. Thank you for taking the time to make these videos.
I feel the exact same way. I'm getting answers to questions that I know I wouldn't be asking my new therapist (only seen her twice now) for quite some time. That's one of the big downfalls of starting with a new therapist. Suffice it to say that I have had more than my share of traumatic events that have occurred in my life, and I haven't had a clue how to handle them. I suppress so much. Dr. Scott's podcasts are really helping me understand all my loose screws. It will or would take years to discuss my these things with a therapist face to face. Being able to read comments from folks with more than their own fair share of issues and having the opportunity to comment back is very freeing for me. I'm probably not making any sense because it's late, and I'm beat. I hope you catch my drift, though.
@@vickykent353 YES! Thank you so much for replying to me!! I relate to you so much. I have done therapy off and on for years and I know the struggle of finding and starting with someone new. You need to and you want to, but it's also a lot of work to bring them up to speed on your life. WHEW. Who knew that being an adult would be so hard. We are lucky in this day and age we have access to so much more information than previous generations did, but with that comes a lot of pressure to do it all perfectly right!!!! It really felt nice to have someone respond to me today, so thank you so much!!
@lanawr80 I hear ya! Thanks for acknowledging the difficulty of starting with a new therapist, too! It feels nice to be validated. So many thanks! 😊
@@Beach_flower😢
Cut yourself some slack, cos being a parent is NOT easy breezy and any one who says it is..lied! But if for most of the time you tried your best, you are already a winner 😁
CBT is like this. The whole thing is based on the premise that the depressed person is wrong. But sometimes the depressed person isnt wrong and the bad things are real.
I've probably seen 8 therapists in my lifetime of 55 years... And didn't resonate with most of them. Your explanation is so clear and so simple. Thank you. I've saved it and will listen to it again.
Life is full of pain, happiness is little moments that allow us to breathe in between. That’s how I see it, especially as I get older.
To live is to suffer… to find the meaning in the suffering is to live!
But life should and could be the other way round...lots of joy and little pain...we get to choose which road we walk down...
Life is difficult, sometimes it is bloody awful. And we are not born with a guide to "living our best life". We spend our entire lives endeavoring to make sense of a world which, quite often, does not make sense. An ancient Roman (Cicero? Seneca?) wrote "pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." Maybe not the easiest advice to follow, but it is an important idea to remember. It will not automatically take away the pain, but it can help, to some degree, make it more.bearable.
Exactly my truth at this point in life 🙌
I feel the same way. Is has been the greatest comfort, really. Given where I am in this life journey.
I am listening to this on September 9th 2024. Everything you say is so heartfelt I get tears in my eyes. Thank you for putting yourself out there for all of us. I really needed to hear this today. I am struggling with finding who I really am and this is a good start for me. God bless you Dr. Scott❤
One thing I know from living it..I'm 74 years old and there is a silent unreported epidemic of depression, anxiety,
loneliness, isolation and suicide in the elderly. Forced retirement has resulted in thoughts that life is meaningless
and you have no purpose. Your self worth plummets and boredom, monotony, and life becomes a never ending
loop of doing the same thing day after day, you become habituated rote, existing, not living.
Join groups of like-minded people, take classes and learn new skills, go to activity centres for the elderly, make new friends and have fun. Don't give up on life, there are always new experiences to enjoy ❤️
@@mbolden393 Thank you for your kind words, compassion, support and suggestions. I go for weeks
without talking to another human being.
@@mbolden393 I agree. We're living longer than people did in earlier times-- many people in my life have planned for career change, rather than traditional retirement. it's part of human nature for us to feel useful and valued, so making a change could make all the difference.
I love being retired! I'm busy and relaxed, finally have time for me and all the things I love to do. Even just sitting in the sun and listening to the birds is fantastic.
@@trudibarraclough478We are two birds of a feather in this case. ❤ I love the same! I can be quite simple many days, enjoying the graces and blessings of our Creator.
I've had depressive bouts all my life with no real understanding of what was happening. Tried lots of external changes and zombified myself with Prozac for a bit. Your direct approach coming from a place of personal knowledge has helped me more in the last month than anything in the previous 67 years. Thank you so much. ❤
Same!!❤❤
Both of my two brothers have committed suicide. I am grateful I have found your site but also self aware enough (I think) to know that it always has to come back to me…… and I am just sooo tired of the fight. I fought the good fight for 63 years but since Covid….I am so shut down I don’t even want to try anymore. Maybe, just maybe something here will help as in my province of NS, Canada our health care system is nonexistent. 🇨🇦 Thank you for this work you are doing. You never know who’s life this may reach and save.
57 years old....just started watching these videos....I agree COVID 19 changed alot of things for many of us in this age group. TY for sharing 🌹☺️👍
❤
Tired too. 62 soon. All by myself. Fear of job loss, home loss (renting). No money. Realising the many mistakes I have made. But I know, there is a way out. It's actually comforting.
Same situation here with my 2 brothers. I was the last one to speak to both of them. It's a lot to handle sometimes. Try good probiotics for gut health and keep watching self help videos. Avoid the medical system at all cost. I wish you well.
I am so sorry to hear that you had had to live through that. ❤
I don't desire happiness, just purpose & relief for pain. Happiness is a desire of the young.
As someone who is not so young anymore, I disagree with you. Having pain and feeling you have no purpose can make many of us unhappy. When you realize your purpose and you're able to manage your pain, I believe level of happiness goes up. I understand pain doesn't always mean physical.
This is why I appreciate these videos
We are not alone on our journey
I also find being present in every moment helps ground myself.
It actually doesn’t even exist no such thing as happiness
@@maryannknox7158 I think that happiness is a relative term. I don't think very much whether I'm happy or not. I think of it as the absence of heartache and/or worry. On the other hand, I believe helping someone would definitely give me a good feeling that may be called "happy".
HOWEVER, some people have had a HUGE preponderance of experiences in life that ANYone would consider negative and bad feeling. It's hard to overcome that.
Hey brother. Just found you channel today. I’ve noticed that you sometimes say “I know this sounds a little cheesy” and other stuff like that, and I know to some degree that comes from a place of insecurity but I just want you to know we can feel the love emanating from your words so even if it is “a little cheesy” we can feel the care and love in your words. Stay strong man and keep speaking because you’re helping people change their lives for the better. ❤
Hear hear.
I am trying to heal from the loss of a relationship and a job for the last 2+ years and I have lost myself and my happiness. I have just recently found you on RUclips and enjoy your videos. This one hit pretty hard, I've become isolated and don't really have a lot of friends and no single friends. My ex has married and chose to live in town which is hard for me so I don't go to town much. I'm on a roller-coaster right now and trying to find my happiness 😊
He's one of the few mental health professionals on RUclips that explode with this aura of sincerity. You can really hear it in his voice that he genuinely wants to help people.
Amen
Totally agree
Possibly the most concise and valuable psychology resource on RUclips. Good stuff. Very helpful-- thank you!
"You *are* putting good stuff out there" I cant afford therapy, but watching your videos is helping me tremendously, especially this episode. The meaning of my name means "to be happy" and I always joked with people and say that I live up to my name ... then something changed and that feeling disappeared. I am struggeling to get it back, because I miss it and this video is just what I needed to hear again. Thank you!
In all my years of trauma therapy I wish someone could have explained this to me as easily as you did in this podcast. My translator needs to be fired for years of translating only doom. Wow! So powerful. Thank you for all your videos but especially because they are free and genuine. I have been on disability 8 years and noone has offered to help me for free. May God bless you!
Sorry it took this long ❤️
.....very best approach I've ever encountered.....user friendly....respectful while realistic....genuine help....appreciative and grateful to find this healer.....
Thanks and welcome
It is rare that someone of such youthful years has gained such insights as to the working influence and colors of life created by our individual minds. The collective power of our minds is a force difficult to imagine. To be able to recognize the power for both growth or destruction is a leap into true freedom.
Thanks! I’m actually pretty old though 😂
Greetings Sir, i've been watching for a while, I have posted to your videos before but always deleted them shortly after as i didnt want to appear weak. I started watching when the dark dreams got worse. I'm a veteran with 12 yrs in the service. 2 weeks ago i decided i couldnt do it anymore and was ready to end it when a friend video called randomly, I began treatment yesterday for PTSD and wouldn't have had the strength to do so without the advice in some of your videos.
There is nothing weak about that. I’m so glad you are working on taking better care of yourself! ❤️💪
@@DrScottEilersyou are making a difference to people. Its because we can feel that you have walked in our shoes, the words, the expressions the absolute way you speak from the heart..l trust you because l know you understand. It's truly touched my soul..l know you care about us. Thank you for stretching out your hand to us and sharing your wisdom. deep appreciation. X
After years of therapy (yet still marginally to significantly depressed, depending on where I am in my depression cycle), I am consistently getting more help from your straightforward podcasts than from anyone else. I follow you religiously, and can always find new insights and actions each time. I can’t thank you enough. ❤
No one said we should be happy all of the time, however, finding joy in the world ( small things usually - a silly meme, your podcast, cake) is a worthwhile pursuit and keeps me going.
Yes...the simple things in life really can make one feel happy,even if it's just for a bit.♡
Cake lol. It does make me happy.
I love that attitude @annetcell, I think I'll take a slice of it too.
❤cake
Okay but that doesn't change all the things we struggle with, things like money for food, home, gas, emergencies, etc
At 71, I could appreciate even just reduced stress. Definitely in shutdown and the anhedonia thing is making pain of former pleasures. (Such as viewing a much-anticipated blooming of a Christmas cactus with dread, rather than the usual enjoyment, because I see spent blooms and feel an sudden, unreasonable dread of when the now spectacular bloom will have passed entirely.) That just changing up the norms of location and activity won't help does not come as good news. I'm planning to do those changes anyway because I have no easy options for relieving the stresses. 🤷
I prayed about this in the wee hours of the morning. Your video showed up. This video answered all of the questions, I prayed about! May the Creator bless you. ❤🇹🇹
This is the first time I have seen your videos.
He answered prayer. You were His instrument! ❤🇹🇹
Wonderful!
Omg! Me too! This is my silent struggle that is SO hard to articulate! You do it so well, Dr Scott...thank you. Very practical, rational, no empty promises--your life experience and what works.
St Augustine wrote about this and 'memories' in reflecting about life.
I hear you. What matters is how I receive the stuff. If I’m not happy, it’s because something is blocking me from receiving it. So many defenses I have , each blocking a kind of happiness. How to feel safe receiving love and happiness? Clear the roadblocks. For me, one is trust. It’s hard to know trust when you’ve been threatened, or even sometimes just ignored. Or not taught about conflict. Like, conflict isn’t always unsafe. So much debris in the road!
Great analogy of the tree across the road. I feel like a whole forest of trees have been blocking that road for yrs. I had cleared about 3/4 of it when my husband became ill and died a couple yrs later. So back to clearing the road again taking time for myself and revoving those trees. In the process of making new memories. Thank you for making these videos. 🙂❤
My heart sends love to your heart.
I like the glitchy translator metaphor! You mentioned the example of someone giving a compliment but it doesn’t compute. Can you talk more about the social consequences of depression, anxiety, inner critic, shame, etc. I’ve dealt with this stuff for so long that I’ve not been able to keep up socially and feel very awkward a lot of the time now.
Not true. Absence of good friends has had a direct and measurable effect on my happiness. I have always been happier when I have had friends. Loneliness kills happiness
Me too I literally feel the same if I have good friends as if everything comes back to life..but I don't have friends
After my first husband died twenty years ago, my life has been complete hell! Sure, we went through bad things before, but not like this! He was a very reliable, constant person…..I don’t have that anymore.
depends on the character trait and if you an introvert or extrovert
The problem with partners and friends is that they are outside of you, they can leave at any time, they've got their own lives going on, they're not always there..and why should they be...we need to be our own best friend and take responsibility for ourselves. Let others off the hook. Thats were true empowerment comes from...sometimes it's just tougher though.
I feel torn coz I have always had toxic friends and had better times than I do on my own. There's not much you can do totally on your own, I find it very limiting. And now that I have no friends, I struggle hard, except for days when I need to be alone.
Showing you, "A little Love." I love your teaching and delivery. I love the way in which you share... You are reaching us from a platform of experiences yourself. Deeply impactful and with your education which, obviously, you worked hard for - we are blessed by your messages and insight. (Along with everything else I said). Thank You!
Thank you so much!
This has totally resonated with me. I live how you think and how you explain things. There is no shortage of experts who rapid-fire technical jargon out there, but you make it real and relevant. Thank you
Wow. Watching this video at 3am will be one of those pivotal moments I look back on as life changing. I fear I’ll lose the lessons in the cacophony of life when the sun comes up, so I will listen again. Thank you for this and I’ll be sharing, too. ❤
I should add that I’ll reexamine my sleep hygiene as part of clearing that road, too. 😉
As someone who has had many of those pivotal moments thanks to others it’s crazy to think that I am one of them for you ❤️
@@DrScottEilers That must be an awesome feeling! And you do this as a free service, too. The internet is the great equalizer. Thanks again! I’m going to keep watching and sharing.
Also watching this at 3am 😢 Things always feel so bad at this time of the night.
@@monadegiovanni3878 It’s so true! We’re usually having a night of insomnia or worrying about things. So it was nice to watch a video that made so much sense & was even perspective changing in an empowering way. Best wishes to you! You’re worth all the effort. 💕
Our entire world is 7 inches wide. Meaning, our world is perceived between our two ears which is about 7”. (in the brain).
There's a danger with "putting all your eggs in one basket": I had a lovely girlfriend for five years and was happy enough but since she dumped me last year it has felt like the end of the world
Sounds similar to what the Stoics talked about. That it’s not events that upset us, it’s our opinion of those events that upset us. They would 100% agree with you, that it’s our interpretations of the external that bring us positive feelings or negative feelings. To a large degree we do have control over how we CHOOSE to interpret the world.
Not easy for an empath.😅
Your road is a superhighway and the world is finding its way to your heart, Dr. Scott. You are nothing short of a phenomenon. Your content is reaching people around the world who've been suffering and needing your clear, direct, friendly voice to give them hope. Thank you for getting up the courage to start. You've inspired me!
I don't think anyone has ever explained exactly how i feel about life and my mental health until I found Scott.
Hi Scott. Thank you for doing these videos. I found them about two days ago and have been listening ever since. I feel like these are right on time for me. I’ve been in therapy before and have made substantial progress. But I have felt stuck. I love the metaphors. I feel hopeful again. Keep doing what you’re doing. Thanks!
I completely agree. I have always been a little overweight. I got close to 300 pounds (not shaming, just sharing) after having my 4th child. I have a blockage in my bile ducks that's been there for about 19 years or so (I'm 34) and I didn't find out until January of this year what was causing my pain. I ended up sick starting in November 2023 and ended up losing a little over 100 pounds in less than 5 months. During that time everything else went downhill all of my relationships, my work, I fell into the worst depression of my life to the point where I was having trouble getting out of bed and speaking and completing daily basic tasks. I'm still dealing with this. I haven't found a therapist yet but I'm on the lookout.
Thank you. You are helping me. I’m 63. I saw doctors for years for anxiety and depression. Every medication had rare side affects. I took Zoloft and it made me crazy. I stopped taking it suddenly without medical supervision. Thought I was going to die for about a week. I don’t take anything now. Tried natural also. They helped but I felt like a zombie. Just try to manage with information to be able to understand what I need to do to stay non-suicidal. I like your delivery. It helps and confirms what I know. I recently became aware of inner child work and that has helped. I have been struggling with depression a bit lately. Hoping it will turn around soon. It used to be worse. I think menopause helped. Vitamin deficiency also factor in. No doctor ever discussed that. Should have. Anyway really like your podcast.
That faulty translater is EXACTLY right. So much of my life has been lost because my inner translation told me something that was not true. And it is so difficult. My "translater" constantly told me people were not understanding and quick to anger and expected perfectionism of me, and so I have projected that on people who just want to accept me. Working through it is probably the most difficult process I have (it is still an ongoing process).
I been dealing with what I think is ptsd because of what happened at the facility I was working at during covid. I'm a nurse.by the was. Currently have sessions with a counselor to deal with the grief. I been watching your episodes on u tube to get some insight into dealing with the depression and the anxiety. You have helped so much. Thank you.
Everyone in the medical field during covid has my absolute admiration & respect. You had a really tough time when the whole world was scrambling for answers. Thank you so much for your efforts & I'm sorry you're struggling now.
I can only say that this wonderful video about finding "happiness" resonated "Right On The Button" for me!!! I've been
struggling with Mental Illness for ALL of my 68 yrs (anxiety, depression, CPTSD, OCD and now BPD). Thank You so
much, Dr. Scott, for helping all those people -- like me -- find truthful and clear answers, as to why we get "stuck" in
"self-imposed mental prisons" which deny us of living "happy", and healthier lives. Tks!! Great job!!! ❤ 🙏
This really helped me. 58, struggling with severe depression, trauma, cptsd, and suicidal. This was a breath of fresh air, in my stale life. Thank you!!
Sent a thanks because this is the first time I've ever, ever heard a mental health professional say what I've been trying to communicate to all of mine for almost two decades: the problem is not that my life is bad, or that I'm doing it wrong and need to do it better. The problem is that my brain cannot find rewarding things rewarding. There is a tree fallen across my road and I physically cannot enjoy or positively anticipate basically anything. I'm not sad, I'm frustrated!
I don't even know what my goals ARE because I can't WANT anything, only move away from what I know I DON'T like. I have a car that can only turn left. I have met exactly one professional who so much as understood what I mean by this, and I had to learn a lot of jargon about dopamine pathways and the autonomic nervous system to explain it in a way that clicked for him.
So thank you. It means so much to see it out there explained in plain terms by someone who not only gets it but is spending his life putting it into practice and HELPING. Thank you thank you thank you.
I'm 60 years old, I do have something that I have tracked through my life that has always brought me more happiness. All the best times of my life have all been when I was single. When I was in relationships there was always some kind of extra drama that made my life much harder.
PS. Do I get lonely sometimes? Yes I do but not nearly as much as I thought I would. Right now even though I do get lonely at times I feel like being single is better for my mental health, my life is just easier this way.
I couldn't agree more! I've been single for 20 yrs now. Even when the relationships were in their first best flush I felt less happy. Now that my kids have left home I take such joy in not being needed anymore. Just me looking out for myself.
@@trudibarraclough478 absolutely.❤
Thank you so much. After more than 10 years of counseling which I gave up on 5 years ago, you are shining a bright light on the hardest issues I deal with. Guilt and regret are with me every second because of misunderstanding what is actually happening in my mind. The idea if will power being finite and your daily choices being connected to the highest stimulation activities that you enjoy the most. Also, willpower is actually used when you choose not to do what you love the most was eye-opening to me. So thank you again. You are helping me more than all the counseling I have previously received.
That actually makes sense. I think my translator has gone on vacation or disappeared and that's why I'm not getting any new memories and I don't experience almost anything anymore. I'm just very tired and stressed and doing my stuff like a robot. When I'm alone without anything external I feel just fine, maybe sometimes bored (hardly ever) or tired, but fine, and relieved. Before I was happy enough in my life, but then everything started to go wrong and there was just too much of everything. And yes, I've been trying to do all of those sleeping, nutrition etc. things, but always when I'm doing some progress something comes up and interrupts my progress.
If I could have just a week or two just for me, without any disasters, I might even get up from this swamp. But thanks, that makes me more confident about my strategy, that I'm on the right path even if there are some huge stones and holes and mud and f*cking aggressive aliens on that path. 😅
Ive watched seemingly every self help psychotherapist type of person on youtube but just found this guy and he is the most calm, relatable, encouraging, explanatory, real and seemingly genuine dude of em all. no silly slideshows or clickbait either so good wholesome advice experience and storytelling/analogies. KEEP IT UP
I like the blocked road metaphor. That's exactly what my struggle/quest for happiness feels like. I suffer from depression that gets to be severe at times, and right now I'm working with someone who is probably the best therapist I've ever had. I've gained new insights into what is blocking my road, and I'm beginning to realize that sustained happiness will require ongoing work to keep that road clear.
I wonder how late diagnosis autism feeds into all of this. I have recently been asked by a therapist if I have been diagnosed with autism and I started looking onto it as I didn't know much at all about it. I am female and 51 and I think that many of the reasons I hate myself and blame myself for everything could be that imy brain is wired differently. I have read a lot about it in the last few months and will be going to get a diagnosis soon but it does make me wonder if that has been blocking my road for all these years. It's like your translator analogy, that the world speaks one language and I speak another one. I thought I spoke the 'right' language but I had been misinterpreting the messages all my life. I have been miserable for the majority of my life. Your video really made me think about the messages not getting through and whether you have any theories on this.... thanks, from the person fighting the bear with a plastic fork (I love that analogy!)
Dr. Scott, I have gotten so, so much from your podcasts. They have provided me with a way to understand myself much more than years spent with several therapists. I have
benefitted so much from the dozen or so I've listened to starting with the one on passive SI. Please keep doing what you're doing. I'm absolutely positive that you are helping so many people! I am absolutely blessed to have found you. ❤❤ BTW, I forwarded this particular podcast to 2 people so far.
Just found you a couple of days ago, this was 4th or so video I've watched/listened to.Absolutely phenomenal. It's like you're mind reader. All good stuff. Explained in a way that, for lack of better description, just clicks & makes sense. Thank you for doing this.
Thanks and welcome
I am 70 now and have suffered from anxiety/panic disorder, at times acute and depression all of my life. I wish I would have had a resource such as this channel when I was in my 20's (in an abusive marriage) worst health of my life. I know that you genuinely understand because you have been through the mill too. Mostly people, including family don't understand and I have felt very alone most of my life. Stress (life being out of control, financially or otherwise )is definitely my trigger. When I perceive I am secure and safe life can tick along for stretches of time without a glitch or a symptom. Thank you Dr. Scott for taking the time to make these videos available to those of us who can't access any other help. 🙏
I just want to say: THANK YOU Dr Scott. I just came across this video of yours as I've been living thru one of the most painful depression episodes in the last 2 years and I was drowning in my thoughts and feelings as your podcast started to play and I believe it was God that made it play to help me in this period of my life. Just wanted to let you know that I am so thankful for finding your messages in this extremely hectic and challenging world where we feel alone most of our lives without a person who can truly speak to us to make us understand what really matters. Thank you so very much and God Bless.
You reached me and my family at the very right moment in time and I’m almost out of words as to how express how grateful we feel to have found you today. Too much to explain but if I could choose one single great thing that I have discovered on the Internet it is you! So many years of dealing with anxiety, depression, Asperger’s, severe illnesses, etc. with such a long list of therapists, doctors, testing, medications and no real great advice or results from anyone or anything. You just changed that for us and I’m soaking up as much of your wisdom as I can. Eternally grateful to you, THANK YOU! ❤️
Your way of explaining things makes sense to me. I am concept designer and your way of using stories and pictures in your telling, visualises things to me better than any other `just do this, ask questions later`- kinda stuff. So, please go on and keep on things visual to us, it will help even more people!
Thank you! I spent years in therapy after having a child. That event made me acutely aware of how traumatic my childhood was. Through all that talk therapy, I never experienced a professional who provided so much rich and beneficial ideas that improve the quality of life. Thank you!
I just strive to be "content".. usually it involves getting quiet, paying attention to my thoughts and thinking grateful thoughts. Being too plugged into the "matrix" makes me miserable.
Finally! A concise description of the disconnect I feel with depression. It sucks to struggle just to communicate. It feels exhausting. I need a book that breaks down the rules. I have never had a clue how to decipher the rules. I was raised to be a good catholic girl with all that implies. So I have to fight through the misinformation and attempts to mislead built
into religious training.
By the time you get to the surface you are battered bleeding and worn out.
Welcome to the beginning.
Wow I sound so negative. Sorry for that.
Thank you Dr Scott for the information. You help.
The best explanations of depression ive heard. There is an error in translating the external world to the internal world.
I can track my mood to my environment very closely, I just found your channel and I like your content. I'm 48 years old for reference
I listened to you. I have these these passive suicidal thoughts and yes following through scares me and I wonder when will I do it. And I can’t be happy with my life and it’s nothing really. Thank you for helping me get some incite as to why I still here.
Bravo. 👋 especially how you couldn't find the help you needed, so you created it. 👏 Bravo❤
YES!! My thought exactly! I've tried a good number of therapists over the years, but *none* have helped me like Dr. Scott has!
I don’t know where to start. I make myself walk every day. I love to collect things so when I walk I I pick up rocks cause I like to collect rocks or I collect buttons and then I like to count them. I like to sort them but it makes me happy, I like fixing things that makes me happy. I’m trying to understand people I’m staying away with caution but also I’m trying to make friends. I never had friends before very hard but I see where you’re coming from. Thank you sometimes you have everything in life and still not be happy, but you have to figure out what is good for you and if it’s not good get away from it or find what makes you happy if this makes sense I don’t know
YT's algorithm put one of your videos in my feed, and it's spooky, how predictable I must be. I've been pretty distressed for the last couple of weeks -- it's always like that on holidays, but this time, I found out that my worst fears -- being excluded by family -- came true. I knew it. I freaking knew it. I've been through this before, and (kick self) I later laughed at myself for being paranoid.
Not god for one's self esteem, and I dread the idea of a family member showing up & charming me back into laughing at myself.
I've been googling how to trust oneself, because that's the issue I can start working on, and my plan is: walking & picking garbage up around the village. Get myself out of the house since I tend to self-isolate.. I'm hoping I'll have more ideas, and your videos are helping.
This gave me an idea for a video
!!! @@DrScottEilers
This is life changing stuff and it's completely free. You are an amazing human being ❤
I'm 32 not that it matters. I've been really down lately. I felt like I was 'healing' for lack of a better word maybe processing negative stuff from growing up. I feel like I don't remember a lot of my childhood. That kind of scares me too going forward.
Anyways what I thought was helping actually led to me being as depressed as I was as a teenager. Feeling of stagnation, being lost & just overwhelmed (even overwhelmed with thoughts of positive things too). It really sucks but I've seen a few of your videos now and they're really helping. Your book too, I'm not that far in, I'm a slow reader but it's resonating. I've watched other people's videos before on this subject matter but most are rather forgettable. No offense intended, they just don't click in the same way I guess. Thanks for your videos I'm sure most of us take something good from them and appreciate it
Dr Scott again you answered my questions.
I have been paying Mental Health People for treatment for some 50 years.
In the last few days i have learned more about my problems and myself and Finally how to start to fix myself.
You are a Miracle to me.
Last month i O D.
I did live but i was planning to do something more final.
Like a gun.
This is when on RUclips i came across your video on Suicide Ideation.
Now i have progressed to a morning routine and most of all getting outside and moving.
You truly are a gift from GOD.
There is a place for you already in Heaven GOD forbid when the time comes..
Thank youuuu for doing this kind of video. Please continue helping us and i hope your channel gets bigger or helps more people like me
This is the most interesting video I have seen in a very long time. When people like me have a relapse on a yearly basis, it can become very difficult to get excited about trying to enable their body to be on top form (ie not just lay in bed in a darkened room all day and eat poor nutritional food.) Somehow you managed to put a new viewpoint in the mix and I now feel fired up for the challenges ahead instead of defeated. Thank you for sharing.
Just found you today. Thank you! I watched several of your videos and have subscribed. You ARE helping people 😊
Awesome! Thank you!
@@DrScottEilers You are so welcome 🙏!
I agree with your interpretation. Perhaps life it easier for me right now, since I am alone and on my own without anyone to cooperate/argue with, so I do what feels right to me. BUT, it is still my interpretation of the world that helps me be happy. Gratitude. Finding joy in the simple things. Appreciate it. Understanding that things, products, fashion, fancy homes, does not make a person happy. I decided that a long time ago. So it's nice to get some confirmation of my point of view.
I am watching this, post 2024 election. I could never truly express how this video, and so many others you have produced, have helped me...today, and in the past. I literally am shedding tears of gratitude for these lifesaving contributions of yours. You are a bright light, and l hope and pray that it is, and will show us the way to our own light; illumination for ourselves, and to use as a gift to others. I purchased your first book. Will also look forward to buying your next one. Blessings to you and yours. Blessings to all who follow you.
Dear Scott, thanks! I'm 46,MD since 2007, in therapy since I was 21. No Diagnose (just since 2020 - couse of an "Event" PTBS, Panic Disorder, severe Insomnia, reaktive Depression (hope it is the right Translation) but working on myself since I get out family home. Your Explaining is very very good. After 27 years working on myself YOU give so much new and things to think about it. THX 😊
Fixed nearly all (not the Insomnia) but at 04.01. this year got an life changing event and it all came back. Worse as ever. BMI of 14 🥺. YOUR videos helped me the most. Thanks for your work 💐
I can see a malfunctioning translator has caused a great deal of grief and heartache in my life. This podcast was extremely helpful. Thank you. ❤
Nothing you say is cheesy you are ABSOLUTELY AMAZING and helping soooooo many people out there and know you are an Angel dropped from heaven to do everything you do!!
Thank you so much for your wisdom and easy-to-understand (mostly) insights. I’m in my 70’s, have dealt with mental health issues all my life really but only became aware of the depth of them a few years ago when I tried to end my life……and my pain and my dark feelings of hopelessness. I became a peer support specialist and received training that helped other people benefit from my lived experience but also taught me skills to manage my mental health rather than become its victim. I’ve been in mental health recovery for over several years now and have gained so much understanding about not only my own mental health but that of others too. Things do get better but it takes hard work and dedication to become healthy and maintain it. I’m so glad I chose that path for myself.
So I came across your videos a few weeks ago when I was in a very deep hole. I definitely had (passive) suicidal ideations and was looking for some helpful videos or people with similar experiences.
Don’t worry - I’m better at the moment and I‘ve arranged to go to a day clinic soon.
Just wanted to say that it’s extremely helpful of you to share your own experiences but through the filter of a professional, de-demonizing suicidality and giving a positive perspective that it can be overcome.
It often feels like it’s forbidden to talk about those things openly because it will make people see you as a freak and call 911 right away!
As you said in another video - mental illness is not always cute or quirky.
Sometimes it overshadows your whole life.
Anyway - I find your videos very relatable and helpful.
Sometimes I think more therapists should have gone through the „practical experience“ of having been mentally Ill themselves- although in reality I don’t wish that upon anyone of course!
Keep it up!👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
So,so observant. The "inner dialogue whisperer." Bravo! Great channel. Was responding to a comment and mentioned i've already had at least three light bulb moments watching videos on your channel. Brand new viewer as of today.
Now I get to really examine why my ambient state(s)seem to be mad and/or sad.
Thank you for doing you vlog/podcasts on RUclips.
I am doing several things to attempt to minimize the effects of depression and anxiety in my life. After 25 years of meds, 20 years on/off therapy, 15 years Alanon & AA I still struggle.
I am finding your vids extremely enlightening, and compassionate. It gets hard to stay hopeful when it doesn’t actually ‘go away’.
This was again, so genuine and helpful! You are standout among a crowd of booksmart, not "lifesmart" therapists. You are living this, and come from a place of " knowing " what this feels like firsthand! You are a gift to us all🎉
Thank you for making this video. I have been lost and mistranslating my entire life. I have been in years and years of therapy with little progress. Things just couldn’t click. Your video made complete sense, more important gave me the desire to clean and fix my road. Thank you so much you saved my life today.
A great message, expressed in a really accessible way. You've given me something to think about today. Thank you so much.
So glad!
Coming to grip with who I am, the good the bad the ugly, and accepting myself, trying to better myself and not confirming to society is only a start to accepting oneself. Being happy in my own inner world, realising only i can control my psyche, brings me peace.
Thank you for explaining so eloquently. Opened my eyes, how simple it really all is.
Learning to walk with your own shadow is it 🙏 Hug the cactus! We are all imperfect in an imperfect world, so what right? 🤙
You are AMAZING!! I’ve stumbled upon you in the last couple days. I am currently experiencing a depressive episode and have entertained passive SI. I’ve had depression and anxiety all of my life, it’s so debilitating and EXHAUSTING- I feel like you are looking right into my soul and explaining what’s happening- WOW WOW WOW. Thank you for your support, I will continue to follow you by subscribing and sharing with others. Bless you Scott 🙏
this is one of the best videos I have watched on RUclips. I am an organisational psychologist who runs large scale mental health programs, and have written four books on how to change from the inside out. Scott's metaphor of clearing the road is a brilliant explanation of the nature of sustainable change and I agree with everything he says
18:00 Glitchy translator. . . Brilliant
I loved that analogy too. Makes sense!
I have learned a lot, Dr. Scott. I'm 74 and worried about everyone in my family including Pap and I! Really stressful days throughout 2021-2023.
I love the way you explain things. It makes me understand the way I feel. Thank you so much for all you do. Just know you are very much appreciated. Thank you… Thank you… Thank you…. Keep making videos!!!👍👍👍❤️❤️❤️🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🌟🌟🌟
Dr. Scott, you have the best RUclips channel out there. Please do not stop. You are helping so many people.
Original thinker. Thought provoking. I am grateful for this.
Can't even begin to express how insightful your videos are... Thank you.... I wish you all the happiness....
How I wish I could communicate even half as well as this guy; I am in total awe of his ability to convey positivity. It always feels so personal, like he's just speaking to you alone.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Damn, he's good.
I think you’re right and it’s terrifying because it feels awful to be me. I used to love being me even when I was alone. I was never bored. I had a rich in her life and now I’m just tormented and trying to cope and keep myself alive one moment to the next not even knowing why just doing it out of respect for life and because I don’t want all of those who tried to kill me and who abused me to win.
Doctor you are saving Lives. You are NO CHEESE. YOU ARE GREAT AT WHAT YOU DOING. THANKS YOU.
You’re absolutely fantastic, and there’s so much value to your content. Thank you so much for putting all this hard work in so that so many of us can benefit from it
I love this video, and gratefully, discovered your channel just a couple days ago! Close to your age and resonate with a lot of your life story. I took a path into full on addiction from my early depression, but I was an absolute lover of the video games as well. I remember when the NES came out, hours and hours and hours on super Mario brothers and the first jaws game! I really love being outdoors in nature now as well… I also contracted Lyme disease during my last year of university, and it’s been such an extraordinary loss Center able to go outdoors match or exercise really at all for 13 years. From triathlon level shape, to. Not being able to even go for a small jog, without being completely sick, and laid out for two or three days afterwards.
You are a rockstar, you popped in my screen in a time where I needed tools to heal from past pain and abusive relationships. I'm in my 60s and during Pandemic I froze, gain a bunch of weight and had self hatred and if it wasnt for the fact that I'm the care giver of parents I was ready to give up. I could do things for other people but not for me. Ive😊 lost 50 Lbs, I'm deep cleaning my house and made up my mind that my 60s are going to golden, awesome, powerful, and I can live longer I f I choose. Thank you
I’m a new subscriber. Just dropping by to say I'm grateful to find your channel and thank you for what you are doing. All the best.
You are an excellent teacher. You do not speak from what you've learned from books, you speak from your heart. Sincerety is hard to find today. You are a beautiful soul.
Thanks man I really appreciate what you're doing. I've never found anybody I can really talk to confidently in person so counseling has always been out of the question.RUclips has been a savior for my mental health. It has also been the reason why a lot of people's conscience and and Spirit has awakened. Although it would be very nice to do so, people do not need to travel across the world to experience different cultures, hidden knowledge, and mastery of skills. The Internet has been a real game changer for human beings.
I absolutely love this video! I actually practice these small victory things daily. Somehow I have gleaned this practice from several inspirational help sources over my life. I love the John Madden story. Now I realize I've had victories everyday and I do give myself daily credit. I celebrate myself periodically for them whenever I think to do it. Like I take myself for coffee and a treat or just do any small activity I've wanted to do, like hobbies.❤