Attraction + Rejection || Brittany's Recent Experience || Polyamorous, Open Relationship
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- Опубликовано: 24 окт 2024
- In this raw, uncut video Brittany shares a recent experience of hers on being "turned down". Conor and Brittany enjoy diving deeper into this situation and others that have been similar and share how they have been awesome growth opportunities in their lives.
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On this channel we come together to share about our relationship with one another and the relationships we share with others. We love relating with all kinds of people, having non-traditional connections and sharing our experiences with the world.
We feel excited and inspired by the way we connect with the world and live our lives. We hope to inspire you to create your own unique, authentic connections and ultimately, to live the life of your dreams.
If you are interested in polyamory, open relationships, non-monogamy, and non-traditional relationships...or if you are interested in monogamy, deepening your connection with your partner and in general pursuing more authentic connections both with yourself and others, we think you will find value here.
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Brittany's Website: www.simplelivin...
Conor's Website: conormcmillen.com/
Conor McMillen's RUclips Channel: / @conormcmillen
Brittany Taylor's RUclips Channel: / sophiefire13
This has been helping me lately: The actions of others don't determine our self worth.
Yes. Thanks Wayne. Love you. It has been so fun spending time with you here in Austin!
This has been something I've been growing with lately as well.
I love how you guys are so focused on being real and following your desires. Now THAT is attractive! 😊❤️
Thank you! We look forward to doing some more candid vids like this one in the future :D
+King Coon Haha 😄 When I mentioned following desires, I wasn't necessarily singling out sexual desires. But that has been my reasoning for not jumping on the polyamory bandwagon, at least in a physically sexual way. I like the principle in an emotional way- as in being in love with everyone, in a sense. I don't like the idea of swapping fluids with just anyone. Though being polyamorous doesn't mean you're just having sex with anyone and everyone, all the time, or ever. It just means you don't make concepts about what relationships mean, and heap on rules within those concepts. I could be having a beautiful experience with one person for X amount of time, and maybe never come across another person I felt like being physically and emotionally intimate with, ever, and still be polyamorous. I see it more as just an openness with life- and stepping out of the pre-conceptions. I guess avoiding pizza-genitals comes down to discernment and self-care, with all of my choices.
Interesting video, I had the experience like this with my current girl-friend. Only I was the one that was "physically rejecting" her. For some reason I wasn't that into her on a physical level. I am not a shallow man though, and her personality was so great. She is honestly my best friend. We stayed in "friend-zone" for awhile but then we grew a physical connection. What I'm starting to realize is, each week, each month I am with her...I see her as more beautiful. Almost a year now, and I look at her as a beautiful woman now. It's kind of like Disney's "Beauty and the Beast", how the beauty radiated from inside. So I just wanted to share that. The person whom I originally rejected physically....now turns me on more than any other woman.
Dude. I love this comment. Thank you so much for sharing from such a real place. I love this feedback. I'm just sharing it with Brittany now but wanted to thank you directly first. Much love -Conor
Thank you. I experienced a new kind of rejection from someone today; one that leaves without saying goodbye. I felt disrespected, unloved, and abandoned. I danced with those demons for a while but eventually got crystals and a candle, burned some palo santo, and prayed for him to find his peace. I acknowledged my anger towards him, and then brought forth in thought the kindness he had for me, and his courage to show me his vulnerability. I thanked him for all he had to share at this time in his path, and sent hope that he finds love and peace within him. I know he is on the right path, he has told me himself.
Thus surfaced unconditional love, and understanding, and compassion, and forgiveness for him within me. A ball, perfectly round, there to heal my wounds first, in order to help others after.
After these prayers, I knew I would find help from you two. And I found this video, which helped me wrap up my feelings a bit more neatly. The experience I had this morning did help me find more clarity with what I really want, and how I can better help others too. It's ok to be rejected. It's ok to not sync up with someone. All paths vary, and some simply don't cross to become more intricate. And that's ok. And I forgive, and I send love, for that is all my power allows. Thank you. Your are cherished guides to me.
It’s amazing to see Brittany say that “rejection” was a cool experience! I have BPD and I often take things far too personally. Since I started watching Connor and Brittany I’ve been so much calmer and more open to my feelings and the feelings of others. Thank you for being so connected to yourselves and opening my eyes to how I should connect more to myself ❤️
me too!!!
I seriously admire you both so much. Stay beautiful, inside and out. 💕
Thank you Kayla
I can't even put into words how much I love the two of you! You guys are helping me grow as a person. Thank you so much for the videos!
This is so beautiful read! Thank you!! We love you too. So much and comments like these bring so much joy in to our hearts!
I find your relationship facinating which is why I keep watching. It's personally not for me because I think it's also a beautiful thing to only connect physically with the one person that you choose to. I also think that no matter how much you may have enjoyed numerous sexual partners in the past, there comes a time in your life when you really aren't interested in that anymore - well that was the case with me anyway. I'm 28 too, and the happily married mother of 2. I love watching people choosing to live very different lives to what I have chosen, especially if it's on the 'green' side and the people have a positive mindset, which you two definitely make a conscious effort and strive for continuously.
Thank you so much for your support! We really encourage everyone to do their own thing and we so support you in that! Thank you
I hope that one day I could free myself and be okay with things.
me too! i.m a little step closer with THIS video
You can!
visualize it and you're one step closer!
there's no coincidence I found this channel. and I'm greatly appreciative of your clarity & honesty. tools for life regardless of how one relates. Peace to you both.
Rejection is a very powerful thing. I think that you reacted to it very well. About 10 years ago, way back when "myspace" was popular, a person posted that I was "UGLY" on my site. At first I just laughed it off, but the reality is that it hurt, I can't lie. This was a total stranger, a completely random comment. In the end, I realized that it wasn't me that was ugly, it was this other person. It was they that was going through some very bad stuff and they were just trying to make someone else feel as awful as they felt.
I love this reflection. And I know Conor and I can both really relate to it. I love that you allowed yourself to feel the emotions that were coming up to you and also to recognize that this person's comment was not a reflection of you, but of something they were experiencing. So beautiful. Thank you for sharing!
who wouldn't be attracted to Brittany? HA!
Right?! -conor
I totally just felt your energy floating towards me when you connected with me Brittany...also the camera setting is really personal. Love it and love you guys
Beautiful! Love you back
I love you guys, I watch all of your videos. It is a form of therapy. I suffer from social anxiety and watching and connecting with you is such a relief. Thank you!
This is so beautiful. We hope we can keep bringing some relief to your system. Much love
Connor is hot
Sooo hot lol!
SOOO Hott -Britt
Thank you so much for sharing this. I love how you guys are so authentic and honest with your interactions.
I like Conor's reaction too: I also can't imagine not wanting to connect with Brittany, if for example she had met me and wanted to connect. You are both so beautiful inside and out, it's hard to imagine either of you getting "turned down".
Genetics is involved with sexual attraction, so ' sexual rejection' is not actually personal to appearance or personality, or even a conscious choice.
so true! we should definitely remember this more often and not take rejections personally. It's about natural body odor and other genetic stuff...so that sometimes we can't even express why exactly we are not attracted to or just don't 'feel' s.o.
I guess in general we should stop taking ourselves so seriously 😊 and just love ourselves with all our characterisrics ❤....
We can't please everybody...and that's actually a good thing.
Still, this (my comment and yours) is the logical way of looking at it. It must still feel incredibly disappointing when feelings are invested in wanting or expecting to have a sexual connection with someone. How is it possible to look at it rationally, unless the attraction was only short-lived or ...flitting (looking for a word which means the opposite of intense)? Interested in any perspectives here. Hurt and disappointment are real, human feelings.
+natureasintended of course a rejection can hurt a lot....and that's totally normal. Just saying that in many cases we take it too personally, exaggerate and wallow in our victimhood. Sadness and hurt is normal and shouldn't be suppressed....but reflected on instead :)
Vran zi Well said, great advice! :)
ewwww .... that is SO interesting !! I wanna know so much more!!!
I feel so much love for you guys and feel so proud that you are living this authentic life. You inspire me to live the life that feels right to me and to keep growing, to not be ashamed and to love myself. So thank you. I sincerely appreciate you. 💛
Wow this happened as well to my playmate recently. But not in a cool way, we had hooked up with another couple who promoted them selfs as a full swap couple. My partner and I normally don't have many bounderies and actually enjoy playing in the same room. But this couple said they only played in seperate rooms, hey we don't judge so both said ok if thats what you want. But apparently when alone with my better half said this was all about pleasing his wife and actually had no interest in her.
Being the trooper she is , she said know problem and wanting me to have fun did not inform me what had happened until we were on our way home. She is fine with it, but I get angrey every time I think about it because I feel she was used and I
can't help but feel she was disapointed as I know she was phisically atracted to him. How far we have come (lol) when I'm not upset because a man has slept with my girl but because he hasn't...
mmm yes! How far indeed. Actually such a badass share. Thank you for this. Love reading about other people's experiences in this non-traditional realm. Feeling gratitude for you
I nodded a lot during this video. I'm so thrilled that Brittany came out of it feeling powerful and more in touch with herself and what she wants. I hope to one day be able to do the same. You guys both rock. Much Love!
Yes! Thank you
You really hit me with that. It still feels like kind of a long road to travel but you made me again face my fear of rejection and not being enough. So thank you very much for this video! You're awesome!
You are so welcome. It was our pleasure to share
You are brave. I think I would still be licking my wounds. Will you be able to be around this person and not feel uncomfortable in their company?
I love how intimate both of you make the conversation. I feel involved, I feel loved, and I am so very grateful for you both :)
That feels so good. Thank you!
you guys are the fucking Coolest. I've been watching both of you individually since before you even met each other, and it's so bizarre knowing that you two came from such different places in the world and from such different walks in life. and now you have an awesome, unconditional, cosmic connection that radiates through the screen and around the universe. Thanks for being who you are, the both of you.
Thank you so much Jessica! Wow. Love your comment. Feels so good to be seen
This was beautifully presented. I have come out of an 18 year relationship and marriage with a man who I believed I had a fantastic, authentic connection with. So did everyone who knew us. Only as he was preparing to leave me for someone after 6 dates was I informed that he had not been sexually attracted to or loved me romantically for 16 years. He stayed because, “everything else was so great between us!”. Not his decision to make but he, “did not want to hurt me”. He shared this as he gave details of his “incredible” sexual connection with the woman he was cheating with.
I am grateful to be healthy and strong enough mentally to know that nothing that he said or did in any way reflects upon me, my character, my quality as a human being, my sexual or physical attractiveness and who I was to and for him for 18 years. His incredible disrespect of me, himself and our marriage reflects just how little he respects himself. Any man who would welcome another woman into his marriage in secret, respect that woman more than his wife and abuse his wife in defence of that woman when she is a veritable stranger has lost himself somewhere along the way, if he ever knew himself at all. That is not the behaviour of an honourable man. This from a man who had a free pass. I only ever wanted him to be happy, even if that meant not being with me. He knew that from the day our relationship began.
I know this is an older video but it is a timeless message. I struggle to understand why people are so unwilling to be honest and authentic. I so appreciate all you show and discuss about how you navigate your life and relationships. I have always struggled with lying as it has never made any sense to me. The difference for me may be that I have nothing to lose. I have no fears of being alone. I do not need anyone financially or in any other way.
Than-q for all you do. You are impacting lives by sharing yours. You are appreciated.
With peace, gratitude, grace and light! XO
I just love you both so much and your working through your emotions of an unexpected interaction is so empowering. I love how you teach others how to embrace the positivity in live. I saw a facebook meme the other day that I wanted to share on conners page but coulnt due to privacy settings, but it was something along the lines of sharing kick ass vibes, and that is really what you guys do, you just radiate joy.
Haha :D Thank you so much! That is awesome. I still want to see the meme even if you can't share it on my FB page. Wanna send it to me?
Sure will do I will have to track it down
This was a great share! It sparked thought in me a diff topic of flirting. I am usually oblivious to anyone flirting with me. I am a super genuine person that doesn't engage in superficial banter unless it is humor. That kind of flirting (if it is) either creeps me out or sometimes pisses me off. My son and other friends say I get hit on all the time. I fee like it never happens. Can you guys perhaps make a video exploring the topic of flirting and its various forms? Love to you both!
I love this video! I love how you didn't hang your whole self worth up on the reaction and rejection of this person. Instead of giving that away and making it someone's else responsibility to make a break your happiness, you kept it to yourself. Such a big thing!! Being open and showing yourself is the best! And still feeling the space that you can connect with that person!! I love it. One of my best friends became a true best friend trough this experience. We expressed our feeling of wanting to connect and they where not on the same level. But by really being open about it we created a space that we even to this day still have. I feel I can really tell him everything.. 😊
"But by really being open about it we created a space that we even to this day still have". Love this. We have really found this to be true. Great comment and thanks for the support!
Oh god guys! Thank you for sharing this. It is such a privilege to see this level of personal intimacy and authenticity. I had tears, good tears!! The beauty you carry individually and as a couple is awesome. Very inspiring.
You are so welcome. Love reading your comment. Thank you!
I feel like whenever I find myself questioning a specific feeling, or experience in my life, I log on to your channel... and there you two are sitting, talking about it. I always come away from your videos feeling more at peace, and like I've had a really great connection. Thank you ☆
What a beautiful comment! Thank you!
You are so awesome Brittany! You are literally everything I aspire to be, everytime you speak it's like my mind is blown. I'm so happy I found your channel, it's nice that I have finally found someone who just makes so much sense and can help me on my journey through RUclips! You are so inspiring!
This is the greatest comment! Thank you so much. I am feeling so so filled with love and gratitude. And feeling truly honored by your words. Thank you for sharing them with me here! Heaps and heaps of love to you! xoxo - Brittany
I liked this and I felt like it was somewhat helpful for me to listen to this. I'm having trouble though, with some of this.
Like, I've had a lot of experiences that did not play out the way Brittany describes here. It sounds to me like the interaction you describe is one in which the person is very direct, like you were like, hey, I want to connect with you in this way." and then when the other person didn't, you asked why, and the person gave you a very direct and respectful answer, that they're not attracted to you in this way.
I've had this experience too. But it's not been the majority of ways in which I've gotten "rejected". Usually, in my experiences, people are not direct like that.
Like, this one is directed at Conor, you voiced that the biggest fear for you is that the other person won't be attracted to you...but for me that's not the biggest fear. I'm not even really that afraid of that--it's something I accept pretty readily. The biggest fear for me is that the person will be afraid of my expression of attraction, feel like it's an affront or imposition on them (rather than an offer or expression of appreciation), and will react negatively by closing off, or by attacking me or treating me disrespectfully or speaking badly of me to others, and we will lose whatever connection we have. These are all things I've experienced.
For example, I'm wary of asking people "Why?" when they express or assert a boundary, because women have expressed to me multiple times, that asking them "Why?" comes across as pressuring them. I really want to have a deeper conversation about it, but I struggle with figuring out how I can create the space for the other person to feel fully comfortable having that conversation without feeling pressured or like I'm invading their personal privacy by asking them for details about their feelings that they don't want to share, and possibly that they don't even feel certain about.
Also, when I have asked people about how they felt, people are rarely direct and open with me about whether or not they're attracted to me, and I don't really know what to do with these types of responses. For example, I've noticed that people usually don't share information on whether or not they are attracted to me in that way. Instead they respond by things like: "I'm not really looking to connect with people in that way right now." and while I know this can be true in some circumstances, in others it can seem to conflict with the person's actions, if they like, start getting involved with someone shortly thereafter. This sort of response can also be problematic if someone responds this way, and then I like, ask them again at a later date. Like I've had people react saying things like "I told you I wasn't interested and you keep bothering me about it." and I am thinking to myself: "If you had just told me you weren't attracted to me I would have left you alone but instead you told me that you aren't looking to connect with someone in that way right now, and I wanted to check whether or not that had changed."
I've also had people expressly tell me that they felt uncomfortable with me expressing that I was attracted to them, like that they felt weird or bad about it.
I find this frustrating, because for me attraction is like, a really positive thing, like I experience it as an appreciation of a person, a gratitude for their presence and a desire to become closer to them, and also I find it flows into feelings of caring for a person. I would always want people to feel towards me, the way I do towards them when I'm attracted to them. I find it hard to navigate the situations where I express attraction and it gets read or perceived by the other person, through a cultural lens. I think a lot of people have a lot of past trauma associated with people expressing interest in them in ways that were pushy, repeatedly overstepping boundaries, or things like this. And I also think there can be a lot of culture surrounding attraction that can cause people to sort of flip out--not just on the end of "being rejected" but to sort of flip out when someone expresses attraction that they don't reciprocate.
It's these situations that I struggle most with...how do I handle it when someone reacts as if my expression of attraction was a huge imposition on them or something, or that it means I'm creepy, or levies some other negative accusation at me? I would be curious if either of you have ever experienced this, and if you have any advice about how to respond gracefully, positively, and respectfully to these sorts of scenarios!
Hi Alex! Thanks for reaching out and for taking the time to share about your personal experiences in this realm. I can really understand what you are writing about and can feel the spaces that have come up for you around expressing attraction and the responses you have had. I have not experienced it in this way specifically, but I feel like I can relate to a lot of the sentiments. I think this would be a fun topic to dive deeper into in a video. I/We would also be down if you ever wanted to connect with us via a coaching call or chat to talk about this more. Meanwhile, we so appreciate you sharing in this way here. Sending tons of love to you! Here's to more of that graceful positivity! conorandbrittany.com/coaching/
I just had that experience two days ago and am going to see him again. I was worried about seeing him again until you said that the uncertainty is no longer there, just a sense of real. Hearing that helped a lot. And also, the encounter did bring up some old stuff that then got cleared. So thank you.
What QUALITY people you both are! Such a pleasure to listen to your advice
thank you for sharing this experience. I think also you have prepared yourself for a possible moment in your life where someone will want that connection with you, and you'll be better equipped to tell them 'no' in a way that is understanding and helpful. You guys are awesome :) :)
There aren't enough likes for this video! This stuff resonates with me so much. Thank you guys, love you Brittany :)
Aww thank you!
I love this. You both always open my eyes to new, fresh perspectives and ways to handle different situations. I really appreciate how both of you think and speak logically and respectfully. Much love!
Thank you so much for this. It feels awesome to hear that we are able to contribute to your life in this way! xoxo Much love to you!
So empowering. You are changing so many people. This videos you are making are really powerful. Love from Colombia
Thank you so much for this. It's an honor to be a part of others' journeys and the epic transformations they are creating for themselves. Te mandamos mucho amor de los Estados!
It's so cool, feeling free and open in that way! Thank you for sharing your amazing experience and deep thoughts!
You are so welcome. Thanks for watching and commenting
So beautiful - the two of you.
You have such a great energy. ♡
I wish the rest of the world could grow to this level of intelligence. It's so simple yet I guess so very difficult to be this real for alot of people. We weren't born with this level of compassion, it's learned. I feel so lucky that I had the role models I've had in my life, and the opportunities to grow and learn that I don't need to rely on others to feel my self worth. I love this thing you two share with the rest of us so much! Thank you for all of it! Tammie Miller
Thank you so much for this Tammie!
You both are so so attractive mentally and physically! Love to hear you open up with your stories and share your journey.
Thank you so much Bella. Love your voice!
Gosh, I LOVE the high quality content that you produce. Real food for thought. It's inspiring and beautiful
Thank you so much!!!
Interesting, physical connection and chemistry is a strange thing. Sometimes it can be strong physically and then it dies, or the reverse can happen and physical attraction grows. Thanks for sharing this, it is no reflection on how beautiful you are. It is okay to not always be attracted physically to someone. You are both so honest and upfront, you are a breath of fresh air...
This is a super-profound insight as usual and can I just say how funny you guys are in this video? Really made me smile. Love it.
That is awesome :D We were in the flow ;) It was super fun to share
Oh yes, this is juicy stuff guys. Putting ones shelf out there, no matter the results, feeling accomplished and seated in your own power. Brilliant stuff, thx always for sharing. Love you both tons.
Thank you!
Hey badass humans Conor and Brittany - I am a 20 year old girl from Australia and this channel is helping me to change my life for the better! I genuinely love you guys, you have grown and matured so much over time and I feel so comforted and aided in your advice (I am certain you will be incredible parents). I laugh along with you and the conversations are always so thoughtful, articulated in such a considered way and so authentic - so rare to find this on RUclips. I love when you bring other people or couples in for interviews, it's great to expand the network for online research and observe other ideas or pathways that different humans have taken in these areas. Thank you :)
Wow! What a wonderful comment! Thank you for finding the value in our content here. We will absolutely keep being authentic, keep sharing ourselves, and keep interviewing others on this channel. Sending you so much love!
😊
another amazing video; thank you Conor and Brittany for always being so real and honest! I appreciate you both so much!
You are so welcome! Thank you so much for watching and commenting
another great video! i get a lot out of you guys sharing your journey. lots of insight and reassurance that being myself is the best way (and the only way) to go.
You rock!
Thank you both for this. I'm having a tough time expressing that I don't feel attraction to certain people right now, and this sort of helped. You're right, I do deserve to be myself in these moments and there are people who want to connect with me and also whom I will want to connect with as well. That's important, love x
"I do deserve to be myself in these moments and there are people who want
to connect with me and also whom I will want to connect with as well. " You really do deserve it! Keep being you!!!
The funny thing is...that i see kids do that. like.".hey would you play with me? other kid "now!" "Why?" "Well...i don't won't to, thats all!" " oh, oke" and that kid move's on. as adults we think to much. i guess...if i look at you bouth...it's like you have the conection again. I like wat you're doing. because i don't feel so alone...:-)
Curious to have part 2 of this: what was brittany's response, and then logisitically...did they continue to hang out after or did she leave?
thank you for sharing brittany! love this! did you feel any shame or embarrassment? that’s what i’m most afraid of i think when it comes to speaking my truth
You guys are so awesome. I had so much fun on my call with Brittany a few weeks ago, it would be so cool to connect with both of you. You guys rock, and inspire me to live authentically, whatever that might be for me.
Ah, it's so awesome to know this is you! Uk mama- I love it! I had a great time connecting with you too and it would be so fun to all link up together sometime! We are so honored that you have found inspiration in what we share. Sending heaps of love your way!
My two flavorite people on youtube:)) First comment yayyy!! Writing while the video is rolling:))) xoxo
Yall rock! Glad the outcome was beautiful :))
First comment woot woot!
Thank you so much!
I paused at 08:58 as this really resonated with something I've been contemplating...outcome bias. I ask myself, "how would I have felt if the person had reciprocated my desire/reacted in the way I expected?" The difference in feelings shows me how far away I am from not clinging to expectation.
The more I form and cling to expectations, the more I suffer from potential shame, disappointment and other forms of emotional pain. Very interesting, thought-provoking video. Thanks for making it xx
"The more I form and cling to expectations, the more I suffer from
potential shame, disappointment and other forms of emotional pain." We love this!! So true. Thank you James
❤️ :).
Authentic Relationship! Thank you so much guys...
Thank you for watching!
just enjoy watching you two together ♡ and such a strong and brave topic to dive into and very true its not rejecting just a small difrence in attraction but there are still a connection
Yes! Thank you for this comment
This is a very interesting video and it opened up a door for me to rethink some moments in my past that were similar to this story. Memories I shoved deep down hoping to forget. A great share - it really helped me and I hope it helps so many others! Thank you both...💚
Beautiful. We hope to keep helping those doors open in your world as they open in ours. Much love
I know the qualities I find attractive vary on a day to day basis, so it's good to look at the flip side of that and realise we don't need to take it so personally if we're not someone's cup of tea in that way at that moment.
I think this was a brilliant video topic.
I think it's also a potential opportunity for a follow up video after you catch up with that person again, to talk about dealing with any emotions that came up when you saw them again.
Ooo good idea on the follow up vid. Thanks! We will keep it in mind
You are amongst the most inspiring people I know. Thank you so much for sharing yourselves. I love you!
Ah, this feels amazing to receive. Thank you so much! We love youuuuu!
We also definiy have to validate our rejection feelings when they arise. I'm in that space right now and it's real!
First thing, totally off topic--- Brittany, I love your hair even more with the texture on top. I'm sure, as a minimalist, you style it without product and tools, and this astounds me....
You both are the most emotionally mature people I have ever seen. I'm hoping that some IFS self therapy will bring me to more of a place of mastery over my emotions.
A wise bunch of non-physical entities once said, "What other people think of you is none of your business". I've always wished people wouldn't tell me what they think of me, unless it's something nice! (Sometimes, I even don't like hearing the nice things, if I don't think they are sincere or if I believe they may have an ulterior motive.) I'm not even referring to issues of sexual rejection, which, in my mind, would be even more poignant! So good of you to realize, really deeply, that your friend's lack of attraction to you sexually has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. AND, you don't get hung up on THEIR stuff. Mind blowing! I hope to God I can be more like that before I turn fifty-freaking-four. I have to figure out how I can have compassion for all those hurt, angry, sad little beings inside of me, without fully indulging them. I look forward to the moment when I can sincerely view my pivoting from contrast and being my authentic self as "juicy bits" and "exciting". As always, LOVE to you both. Love these authentic conversations. You raise my vibe.
Great addition to the conversation Ali. Thank you! I love Brittany's hair too! We are reading your comment together right now. Much love -Conor
Brittany I think it was also brave of you to share your experience with the whole world as most people would not feel the same way as you did. Kiddos on your video!
you both are SO attractive to me, your physical and your essence.. such a raw and inspiring couple
Aaaaaahhhh, I love this! YOU guys rock! Thank you, always for sharing with us. Something I've not done that much is put myself out there. What a great lesson/observation/experience! Thank you❤
You and I can try it out more this week ;) Thanks for the comment and the support -Conor
Two things: I normally don't believe that people aren't attracted to me, or that people who I'm attracted to aren't attracted to me. Also, I can't remain attracted to someone who claims they aren't attracted to me, so that would have "solved" that right there, even though, as you so beautifully expressed, there was never really a problem.
This video came in the right time for me...just made such an experience yesterday and didn't really know how to deal with it. i nearly lost hope in humanity. i hope i can be as strong and bad ass as you are ;)
You can be strong and badass in your own perfect way! Thank you so much for sharing this us. Love you
You guys look and act so healthy and vibrant, I'm happy for you two :)
We both feel healthy and vibrant. Thank you so much. We wish your happiness as well
"A negotiation..., and finding the areas of overlap...YES well put!
Thank you!
Thanks for sharing your perspective! You two are such inspiring and uplifting people!
love to hear you both share those stuff. at times i wish i have met someone like this already. i am still on my journey. :) thanks for both of you. love you guys!!
hi conor, hi brittany - thanks for this video! I do have some questions about this topic, may you can help me. :)
What if you have the desire to connect with a person, have been rejected, it's totaly ok - but still have the desire and it doesn't go away? You have convinced yourself and also really feel that it is ok - but the feeling still is there. You know it's something deeper that you can't really handle with even if you try it for a long time. It blocks you inside also to connect with others. I mean thats you as yourself- something inside dont want it that way, or is it the comparison with others, that others are not enough? How to de-block and be yourself?
Thanks for your thoughts in your videos - respekt to you!
Greets from Germany :)
Beautiful questions. We believe it always comes back to self love. What are we missing and needing that we are looking towards others for? How can we find space to give ourselves more attention, more love? These are just a couple questions you may find helpful to ask yourself. Maybe do some writing and see what comes of it. So much love to you!
you guys absolutely ROCK!! So much love for both of you!
Ah, this feels so good! xoxo
I love watching you guys; there's so much love and respect between you and I can really feel it.
Thank you guys sooo much!! This is so fulfilling and inspiring😌❤️
You are so very welcome
i hate it when others attatch MY consent to THEIR self-worth and i also hate this feeling when it comes up in myself, it feels weak and controlling. Consent and selfworth are two seperate things.
You guys share such an authentic and inspiring love:) I love it!
Thank you!
I don’t know why this person would not be attracted to Brittany but I wonder if this could happen based on a person knowing that they most likely could not have more of you since you already have a “homestead”? Also if someone knows you are in an open relationship could they be concerned about STD’s?
Seems like those reasons could happen even if a person really IS attracted.
Could be. Hard to know any more than what one share's with us. Thanks for your comments
Love your videos. And Brittney I completely think your gorgeous. It is true not everyone will be attracted to each of us. But wow way to deal with and talk about your feelings and what you have gone through. Listening to your channel is truly helping me to learn to be open and communicate where I never would have thought of as well. Truly yes it was “bad ass” hehe to put yourself out there when you felt the “vibe”. I lose chances when I don’t put myself out there more. And Austin Texas! So very close to us.
Thank you so much for this support! So much love to you
Britt this hair length on you is a winner! You could consider going back to this :)
haha, thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it at this length :)
this just happened to me and this video is priceless, thank you so much
Thanks. I had a similar topic conversation with the one Human I experienced rejection with. We coukd talk through the matter and that was due to her dedication towards clarity and me.:)
Brittany,I absolutely love your new hair style. It totally changes your look for the better. What a hottie. You still got it going on girl.
She is such a hottie! -Conor
Yes she is.
You are so awesome! So much to learn from you guys! Pece and Love!
Thank you! Sending so much love
finding this video was just what I needed at this moment thank you.
I just found you guy's and I am obsessed! really enjoy watching you 2! :)
Aww welcome to the channel! And thank you so much for watching and commenting. We put out vids every Sunday (and sometimes mid week as well)
You guys are amazing and inspiring. I feel more open after having watched this video. I feel more me.
Aw! That is wonderful. Thanks for watching
PS : You guys ROOCCCKKKKK!!!!!!! Both Bad ass!!! Super super super inspiering! Keep Rockin!
Thank you!!!!!!
I really appreciate this video because it's easy to feel positive and strong when things are going well but when you are not met with what you expected/hoped, it's so much more difficult. I like the idea of holding space for discomfort. How to not attribute that to worthlessness and rejection, like Brittany says, and not getting overly upset about it, is so hard. So is it that you feel strong in your own desires and your own strength to be able to take rejection? So the positive switches from the outcome to the ability to actually roll with it? Thank you for your honesty.
"So is it that you feel strong in your own desires and your own strength
to be able to take rejection? So the positive switches from the outcome
to the ability to actually roll with it?" Yes, Amy, this is it. Thank you so much for the positive comment and reflection. We keep sharing from this honest place
Lol thanks for this vid! It made me laugh and feel... You two are both such amazing and beautiful beings! Much love and I hope to meet both of you one day
Thank you our friend. This means a lot to us. If you can make it to Austin on July 10th it would be awesome to see you! Otherwise, we are sure we will link up with the time is right
I identify as poly but my hubz of 17yrs tomorrow (June 19, 2016) identifies as monogamous. Hubz accepts my choices and has always "got it" and let me be "me".
I have always been "poly" all of my teen/adult life but never understood the mechanics or the "why".
I have been chronically ill for nearly Hubz's and I's relationship but, have had 2 long term and different dynamic relationships.
The first one started out as Hubz friend from work who needed the relationships we offered. He and I always had a flirty relationship and one wee a.m. hours (the "Hubz's friend from work" until I made a comment that I wanted to know how he tasted... He ended up living with us and most nights I allowed him to share me and Hubz was like, "I knew this would happened". But just let things progress... "We" (all 3 of us) were intimate with each other for over 3yrs with a slight overlap into my second long term secondary relationship.
Continued in comments.
Cont pt2
My second "poly" relationship I was the pivot point in the "V". I mean that in this relationship my hubz and secondary never "shared" me at the same time. Secondary was very monogamous.
Also, secondary never showed interest in that type and was well aware of my openness. He "tried" having an "open relationship" with a girl he knew from high school. He didn't tell her until after they slept together. She was under the impression they were an exclusive item. At that point he and I were together for 4yrs at this point.
He was 34 and I was 39 when I ended that portion of our 6yr (spring of 2004 until summer of 2010) for 2 reasons. The first reason was because he has "mommy" issues and has "narcissistic" tendencies but I told him I was ending our sexual relationship because my family moved across the United States (WA state to Louisiana; New Orleans area). We moved back to WA in summer 2013 and I refused to resume a sexual relationship.
Cont pt3
Cont pt3
Between my health issues and Hubz's diabetes' causing "impotent" (ED) I haven't looked for a secondary although I truly miss the sex... Hubz hasn't asked me to stop being poly nor told me to seek further sexual partners.
My first truly "poly" relationship ended because he had the chance to be with his "forever" partner... But, we lost him to pancreatic cancer in 2007.
My second poly partner and one of my dearest friends from college... We all met in college in 2004 and when we returned to WA both asked me if I though the other was single... Then both asked me (separately) if it was ok or did it bother me that they got together... I "gave my blessings". Lol! The funny thing is she's poly like me. Lol!
I have only had one long term gels poly relationship since "discovering" the definition of polyamory in 1995. Lol! It ended because she couldn't cope (her words) with me being poly...
***** my health hinders me now. I'm still poly just not actively looking. Plus my hubz has health issues too.
I live in San Antonio! I just started watching your channel and have learned so much. I’m not polyamorous but I’m considering it.
Excellent! Maybe you can come up for Austin Fruit Fest that we are hosting in about a week! Just search it in groups on FB. Much love
Wow, nice conversation! made me think...A question is only a question when you are open to any answer
Wow, I LOVE this. Conor and I are repeating this over and over with smiles on our faces. Thank you for sharing these words with us!
G'AH YOU TWO ARE THE BEST EVER! I'm gushing!!! Seriously. You two are the coolest.
Aww thank you!!!
I have some strange stories surrounding rejection. I've been rejected many times. Then years later, I've had several (I think a total of 8 times) of the people come up to me sometimes years later and tell me that they were very interested in me, and wanted to be with me, but that they were too scared.
Interesting! Thanks for sharing
love you
:i would even add your grat understanding the following
Brittny got to find out that a male is truly interstead in her as a human and not as a woman
which is great
meaning instead if looking at the rejection point of view
we can look at the attraction point of view of that human to brittny
:-)
Thank you for that!
Rock on, rockin' people! Moving mountains with these conversations! I love it! ;b
Thank you!
Do you want connection or others confirmation that you are sexy? Others agreement? Know that your knowing of your sex appeal is enough. This situation could be mirroring how you really feel about how you look now. is there something you could do to feel sexier? it could be as simple as learning seduction and charisma techniques it's not always about changing your appearance. also if someone doesn't view you as absolutely beautiful it reflects poorly on them not on you. those who see through the eyes of love can see the amazing rays of sunshine you emanate. much love hope this helps
Thanks so much for this beautiful comment.
Brittany, your hair looks suuuuper cool in this vid, I really love it
well, actually, both your hairs are super on point
Hahah thank you!