What are The Effects of Emotional Abuse ? | Dr. David Hawkins
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- Опубликовано: 19 ноя 2024
- Have you heard the saying “death by a thousands cuts”? That is what emotional abuse feels like. One small paper cut doesn’t sound like a big deal, but what would happen if you got 10 cuts, some minor, some more serious, every day for a month, a year, 10 years? It becomes a problem you can no longer ignore or just cope with. The same goes for emotional abuse. One accusation, one insult, one day of silent treatment, being dismissed once doesn’t seem like a big deal, but the cumulative effect of injuries incurred over time has a huge toll. It’s like walking around everyday with a backpack full of pebbles that you have accumulated over time. Dr. David Hawkins talks about the impact that emotional abuse has on a person over time and why it’s so important to acknowledge and repair the wounds.
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Dr. Hawkins and his team of experts offer education and professional training as well as treatment for narcissistic and emotional abuse.
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About
The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts about narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.
Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships. He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse.
Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship. In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, topics include covert, reactive, spiritual, secondary, relationship trauma and more.
#emotionalabuse
I have been living for years with family treating like this ! I'm mentally and fiscally
worn out!
It’s like you went it to my brain and articulated everything I’m going through right now. Currently trying to end it. He’s dragging it out half heartedly saying let’s just stop fighting but not actually listening to my needs and concerns re his behaviour.
Thank you reinforcing my belief that this is toxic situation.😢
Glad you found it helpful and have gotten some clarity about your situation. Here is a video on interventions and how to articulate your needs when they just aren't taking the situation seriously: ruclips.net/video/bBC26SrgAB0/видео.html
Same here! IF I didn’t know anybody, I’d think he was a fly on the wall in my house.
Thank you for your understanding words, Dr Hawkins! The analogy of the pebbles in the backpack is so perfect!
I used to feel like I was always trying to run with a parachute attached to my back: the more I would try the more it would just inflate: it became a lost cause over the years, very exhausting.
It has taken me some time to understand why and how I stayed with my husband for 19,5 years. Now I see, what I have been seeing with my parents for years and years, so without realizing it, I was doing the same as my mom 😢
But now you see and understand....that is the first step to healing. When we know better, we do better.
Call “Monkey see and monkey do”. The parenting modeling is very important to children’s life. It’s effected to them. I am dismissed myself and I can see my daughter do the same thing. I felt so bad now, because I did not stand up my ground dis myself because I don’t want get into fight ( he is a my way or high way) and this negative effected my daughter now. 😢l😂
@@jeanlai8603 same here 😔😢
Every word you said is hope for my soul. I wish I lived where you are and could attend a group. Have your thought about branching out and having a marriage recovery center and emotional abuse institute location in Utah? I have suffered for 30 long years. I have a pack full of pebbles and desire to release and heal so I can regain what health emotionally and physically I can possibly restore. I just want to be held by someone who truly loves me and I can safely love back. I was hoping to experience that in this life. Dr. Hawkins you are a human angel. I am so grateful to think that I can have a safe joy filled life after so much emotional abuse and neglect.
Thank you, Dr David, for you wisdom.
You're welcome, thanks for your comment
Thank you for this video. This is exactly what has happened to me in my marriage 😢
Hope you found it helpful and are in a better place now, out from under the abuse.
I am asking myself now what is a healthy relationship.....Thank you.....
Everything you described in the first 3 minutes is how my husband felt, but he never voiced it.
When I told him I was sorry and never meant to hurt him ever. I was making decisions that I thought would keep him from being burdened or keep him from having to deal with my son that had issues from previous marriage. So when I learned this… he had been carry this for a very long time and drifting away and I didn’t know why.
Now for months over a year no talking, isolation. No intamacy etc. help
We specialize in healing marriage wounds and rebuilding connection. Please reach out to learn how we can help. info@marriagerecoverycenter.com You can also go to our website and get instant access to our free eBook Hope and Healing for Your Relationship. www.marriagerecoverycenter.com
My sister and father are both this way they love being emotionally abusive .It's causes my depression ,anxiety , diabetes ,insomnia she says she don't care she means it .
This is INCREDIBLE! THANK YOU Dr Hawkins for such a clear teaching & explanation! This is GOLD!!
I always compared the abuses to tiny hammers chipping away at my soul.
Yes. Exactly.
Thank You 🙏🏻
Very helpful 🙏🏻
I am going through this right now
Hugs
Me too.this person is well known and puts out a kind persona, Always talking about his concern for the mentally ill And crying .talks about how important it is to be kind.
So am I
100% hit nail on the head. Makes perfect sense.
Ty! ❤ i am making my plans because i need to heal.
Thank you 🙏 This is so very helpful and enlightening 💜
This is my life … but I have no money to go on my own and I’m 70 years old …..
Look for a job...u can go on your own it's like making an excuse I am nearly 70 and I coukd go anywhere age is just a number
@@talcareyifill5937 thank you for another stone !
@@miminee4721
I can relate😢 also to the stone throw😢
We understand, there are people who cannot just pick up and leave for many reasons. In this case, it is important to create your own emotional safety through boundaries. If you cannot get physical space, try to create emotional and mental space and focus on your healing. Here is a video you may find helpful: ruclips.net/video/O0Q_In9nKK/видео.html
@@drdavidbhawkins that would be great, but trying to pull away and get space makes him vengeful, more aggressive and meaner.
Thank u so much
Thank You!!
You're welcome. Hope you found it helpful.
Again today..anger. threats. He knows what ive been through.cancer treatment all year..family estrangment over my mothers will for years. Im alone..afraid.i never know what word.gesture or tone will set him off. Anger .vicious words.blame.and threats of leaving..etc.
I used to be Strong now i am afraid..my insides in turmoil most the time..99% of the time its just simply unfair..he feels mean and i feel its about being made to feel Worthless my emotional destruction is the point.
You are not alone!!! YOU. ARE. NOT. ALONE! You don’t deserve this. This is not your fault. If nothing else, I am here. I am a victim of narcissistic abuse too. I escaped my abuser last year. It’s a terrifying thing to do. Very little emotional support from those I called friends and family. But my 3 little children and I are surviving. My husband and I were married for 14 years… and once I left him and his love bombing did not work, he proceeded to plot my murder. He has tried to kill me 3 times now since I left and is now facing potential prison time because of it. He tried switching out the powder in my medication/prescription capsules and filled it with 3 crushed up pills of fentanyl. He put water in my fuel tank and destroyed my vehicle. When those didn’t work and he realized he would not get 50/50 custody, he bought a van, cleared out the back seat, and planned to kidnap me, keep me in the van and torture me for a year… and then kill me. People, friends, family, my community…. More than half still do not believe my experience is valid and that I had a hand in this. I’ve even been told countless of times to go back to my abuser if he says he is sorry. And I should trust that he means it and will never hurt me again.
It’s been the hardest year of my life. But I wouldn’t change or go back to him for the world. Never. The relief and freedom that I feel is unlike anything I’ve ever felt. And even though I am still not emotionally stable, I’m so happy that my children get to see an independent side to their mother. They get to see that I am unwilling to allow any more abuse to happen to them and to me. No more!! I am here! I believe IN you!!!!!!! I believe YOU!
I hope you are out. I go through it too. Laying at the feet of Jesus and trying to heal. Losing friends to his side. Mourning that and all the past heartbreaks
@@MotherofDanesymYou are a beautiful soul. Keep fighting. I feel your pain.
This my situation between me and my mother
62 & 84
Hi Dr David Hawkins, thank you for this video! I wonder if the impact can be too much for someone that there is no point of return for the relationship to be where it used to be?
I need to set boundaries against emotional abuse while I am in toxic relationships. I have already lost so many emotions, which lead to my masturbation addiction.
Burdens in life will occur...period, but that pack of pebbles and huge stones make us stronger in the long run, though at times we feel we will break under the weight at various times. We can eventually look back and see all the good that has occurred in our life that never would have occurred had those pebbles never occurred.
Thanks for sharing your perspective.
"NO" good can come from the abuse that Dr. Hawkins is speaking about, none at all!
HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!!!!
Five years of mistreatment gave me an anxiety disorder
Isn't your description the age old adage, death by a thousand cuts. That was certainly my experience in a marriage that lasted 42 years. If i could collect compound interest on those pebbles .....
Dr. Hawkins...U are brilliant....I have been TRYING so hard to get this across to my HUSBAND for YEARS NOW. Im FINALLY at the acceptance stage that he WILL NOT change. He LAUGHS when I tell him he emotionally abuses me (which is what my OWN MOM did to me my entire childhood :( Boy, have I learned Alot about myself
this past year ( along with a lot of tears). Im going to play this for him tonight & im even going to look into your counceling as he promises me he WANTS to STAY MARRIED & will go to counceling. He is the PERFECT COVERT NARCISSIST & has been getting much worse with age. I feel completely TRICKED & bamboozled into MARRYING HIM 23 YRS AGO (28 total) believing he was ALWAYS going to be the BEST HUSBAND he could be , to ME. Its UNBELIEVABLE to me how people can HIDE their TRUE SELVES for YEARS. I never in my life thought I would cry so many tears because of HIM. I KNOW that its NOT ME. Ive always been a very insightful person who can see my faults, ADMIT THEM ,& FIX THEM to the best of my ability. I have been the BEST WIFE to this man & he ADMITS THIS!!! I WISH I could GIVE HIM BACK the PAIN he's given ME but I'm not that kind of person. Im a loving soul who's only ever wanted to feel LOVED, honored & RESPECTED in my life...I certainly don't FEEL that from HIM & he can't UNDERSTAND WHY! I REFUSE TO ALLOW HIM TO CONTINUE TREATING ME THIS WAY...my life would be PERFECT if he would finally GET IT! How can u say you love someone every day yet have no problem hurting them? U aren't suppose to hurt the ones you love & cherish... I think the only thing that will make him change is having another man MAKE HIM TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR HIS ACTIONS towards me. and, TELL HIM HE IS NOT A GOOD HUSBAND & that I SHOULD LEAVE HIM!! Life is too precious & important to waste it on this BS!!
THANK U for sharing all your incredible knowledge with others . You and Dr. Clark (isnt it ironic that my husband name is CLARK) are the ones who confirmed that I HAVE BEEN emotionally abused by my husband (I had mentioned I felt this way b4 but never looked into it). Dr. Clark even called these people EVIL & that SAME thought had gone thru my mind several times also! Im also so grateful that u give us a place to vent our feelings. Ive always stuffed them which is why I've had so many health probs my entire life. Ill make sure to let u know how your video affected him.
Your a wonderful man & a HERO to humanity❤🙏
Thank you for your feedback. Knowing we are helping people makes what we do so worthwhile. Please reach out to our office to learn how we can help. We have helped so many couples in your situation. In the meantime, here is a video that you may find helpful on how we use interventions as a catalyst for change: ruclips.net/video/bBC26SrgAB0/видео.html
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