Psychological Abuse and Manipulation
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 21 авг 2022
- Psychological manipulation and abuse involves the regular and deliberate use of verbal and non-verbal communication with the purpose to manipulate, hurt, weaken or frighten a person emotionally and mentally. It is a form of coercive behaviours with the intent to distort, disorientate and confuse or influence a person’s thoughts and actions within their everyday lives, changing their sense of self and harming their wellbeing.
In this video Darren Magee outlines some of the common signs and examples of psychological abuse including intimidation and bullying, gaslighting, humiliation and devaluing.
Other videos you might find interesting:
What is Gaslighting? • Gaslighting - Emotiona...
Emotional Abuse • Recognising Emotional ...
Triangulation • What is Triangulation?
Ostracism • Ostracism - Being abus...
Financial Abuse • Recognising Financial ...
Spiritual Abuse • Spiritual Abuse and ho...
If you need support for being abused there are some helpful links below.
mensallianceni.co.uk/
belfastwomensaid.org.uk/
www.gov.uk/guidance/domestic-...
Please feel free to use the comment section to suggest any topics you might like me to cover in future videos.
Please consider supporting me on Patreon
/ dfmagee
#psychologicalabuse #coercivecontrol #darrenmagee
Another thing they do is : sitting down in the room feeling sorry for themselves and sort of willing the rest in the room to also feel sorry for them, they are capable without words to suck the energy and joy out of you like a dementor.
I've experienced this kind of abuse throughout my life both personally and professionally. It's horrific.
Sad😞❤🙏
The invisible abuse! It should be crimnolized!
Same. Two incidences in the workplace spring to mind! There are some very sick people out there
What can be done, it is awful?
Learn how to deal with these abusers and break the cycle for your own peace of mind
I was in a relationship for 5 years with a woman who was later diagnosed as a psychopath. Every single one of Darren's signs was very clearly present. I was the prisoner who didn't know he was in prison. Thank God I broke away from her long enough to recognize something was wrong, and then learn exactly what it was.
💕🌷
Yea.. Amen❤🙏
I am very sorry you went through that. I have been through similar - it isn’t at all easy to get the confidence to break away from such individuals
@@camellia8625 The mind control was so effective that I didn’t even know I needed to break away. Ironically, I was one of her strongest advocates. Truly a cult of one.
Yes. You were very fortunate if you were able to break free relatively early on.
Psychological abuse combined with isolation is deadly. It is a matter of life and death for many of us. Thank you for your extremely supportive engagement Darren. God bless you❤
Not EVER acknowledging your accomplishments.
Withdrawing forms of loving touch, compliments, compassion, empathy and passion.
You being made the “butt of the joke.”
Most of the people worldwide, have been experiencing this, for the last two plus years, by their governments.
Once you can see a pattern & become aware of these people - having experienced & witnessed it myself….you become incredibly empowered, as you are able to see their game, before they even play it. The abusers’, are very weak people, very lacking in confidence & introspection to actually do life - this is why they have a need to control yours. One of the antidotes is simply to be your authentic self & never say you are sorry.
Absolutely. I have also learned that No is a complete sentence!
This is so not true. There are people who navigate to survive and there are people who manipulate knowing exactly what they're doing and why. They're not even comparable, one is a defender the other one is an attacker with completely different intentions. And sadly people can't tell the difference although I think it's so obvious, one knows exactly what they're doing and the other one simply doesn't.
Good Advice _ Thanks
'thought criminal thoughts'_
Queen George Orwell gave us a clue.
Listen to a hockey or basketball game form southern Ontario. You will hear all the 'word clues' for slavery. We the dumb and blind _ the dudes watch games in the subconscious and behind the scene are commentators words tell them they work animals like a horse. Get a bag of pop corn _ it's a carnival.
0925 - "The best way to keep a prisoner from escaping is to make sure they never know they are in prison". Wow. For decades, it was always me having to defend myself and prove my love. She never had to do anything but escalate her accusations and her supposed "feelings of being unloved". I knew back then that mentally sick people existed, but never ever thought I would be living with one for over 20 years. I guess I never knew I was in this "emotional prison".
thanks, Darren.
Yes! I’m in this space now, having to prove my love and loyalty….after doing nothing but loving him. It’s maddening! Their abuse is justified because they feel unloved. 🤯
My mother said, "I know what you're thinking," thousands of times.
Billion Trillion X's
Mommy Monster
💩 Forced to Love 💩
❤💩
That's how u know it's a Mommy Monster ( not fit for motherhood)
Like David not allowed to go to promised land _ he defiled himself _ even though he belongs to God.
Wow. So well presented. I now have no more doubt that I was abused. I was blamed for making him feel like he was an abuser. It was my fault that he behaved the way he did.
You just nailed my parents to a tee.
These were my parent's rules and they never lived up to anything positive that was offered.
I was never enough and I was absolutely never good enough!
THE UNIVERSE IS VERY POWERFUL
My ex for over twenty years collected pictures of me, pictures where I looked strange, quirky, bad hair day, and much more. He kept them in his old shoebox.... it was after our divorce i began discovering myself, my loving personality and how blindly I had pushed myself and my thoughts away and believing his way was the right way..
This has been my life for about 13 years. I was constantly being accused of infidelity that I never did. And I was always trying to prove to her that I was not doing anything. She went as far as moderating My phone activity, And my location activity by GPS. She would get upset whenever I worked late, Even did overnight jobs. And while I was working she thought I was doing something else. I was in a mental roller coaster Not knowing when it will stop. Finally she filed for divorce. And I'm still recovering. Nothing I ever did satisfied her, All she wanted was a fight and an excuse to fight.
These behaviors are insidious. What is worse is they do all these things, then go tell anyone who will listen that YOU are the one who did all these things. Gives you nausea and whiplash at the same time.
As someone else said, such psychological abuse and manipulation is really a Human Rights violation. Guess who would be the first person to scoff at that idea---a narcissist or someone who engages in it.
This is my marriage a Narcissistic husband. This is all of it ! Thank you for the great video. It will make you sick !
thank you for your clear and calm presentation.
I was born into a cruel family life dominated by an evil father.
he used every tactic described here.
I crumbled into full PTSD epileptic seizure and blackout from a similar echoing 1 paragraph email from my sister in my 50's.
the pattern of aggressive mental emotional abuse had and was playing out with my generation. a family system set up with henchmen in my siblings.
so yes to the isolation, fault finding, my hyper vigilance, full PTSD. depression, suicidal thoughts....now in my late 60s I'm still slogging through sorting and healing.
I may always need to stay close and re listen to such lessons regularly to exercise the demons of terror and raging insecurity that have been planted in me.
Thankyou Darren, I am learning so much and gaining confidence. I can now just say " no thanks", to having people that "try" these things with me, around me. It is quite the fist pump in the air feeling. The joy of having an hour long conversation with a complete stranger thats a mutually positive exchange of energy with us both leaving feeling uplifted is happening more often. Its wonderful .
I agree with the teardown and rebuild. My sister tried this and I ended up saying I can't be this person you want me to be. Resisting, however, came at a price, the trauma was still there but being worked on. So true threatening and targeting other family members to get the comply. I have been exposed long-term to two narcs, it is a very dehumanising experience. The mental scars, bruises, and pain cannot be photographed. So very well described Darren.
I got some visible scars as well, but of course the narrative is I did that to myself. And people are like sheep, they believe everything. So at the end of the day it doesn't matter if your scars ar visible or not, you can't do anything about it, people simple don't want to deal with it.
Their gaslighting with lies just flow like water and the ability in which they rewrite what really happened is absolutely astounding and you are always being put in a position to justify, argue, defend and explain yourself. It has been my recent eleven month experience in dealing with this creator, that it doesn't seem to matter what you have as proof to all their pathological lies and manipulation, because no one even cares and most often than not, there's a lot of sympathizers and enablers to these types and those who are just like them.
Most people have simply no idea what it is, so they jump to dumb conclusions and are always against the one who questions the status quo. Even professional helpers fall into that trap and try to minimize the abuse and label you as hypersensitive, snowflake, immature etc.
I love your analysis and the insight I gain from it but it also really angers me to know I allowed all this to happen to me. I don’t know if I am the only one experiencing this but I feel quite upset at myself for not seeing through the Deception soon enough! Would really appreciate if you can create a video on how to overcome this feeling of frustration and being upset at oneself. This anger (at myself) for losing PRECIOUS years of my life is really keeping me very stuck. Would love to hear your thoughts & advice.
I’ve made videos on topics like ‘How did I end up here?’ And ‘Trauma Bonding’ if you want to look at those, they might answer your questions .
Hang in there, you are absolutely not the only one experiencing this. I have been angry with myself for some time, because I know (only in hindsight), that I was being abused. But I can see now that just because I am trusting and honest and empathetic and compassionate, doesn't make me weak. It made me vulnerable. However now that you are experiencing what you are going through, you have the opportunity to use your greatest strengths (which were exploited against you...), and turn them into your superpower. I am in the process of making myself less vulnerable, without sacrificing my strengths or good qualities. Painful and exhausting as it is, the experience is necessary in order for you regain yourself as the amazing person that you are, and have been all along. Hold on to your reality.
My suggestion is, find a way to channel your anger/resentment etc. into something positive like music or art or gardening etc.
I know what it feels like to think you are the only one experiencing this level of evil at the hans of someone you care about.
God bless you.
@@user-sh3vv4fd2rMr.K Well said.
Fully understand. But you were not the person "then"...that you are now...
I hope that helps ...best wishes for a peaceful future...🤗
I've lost decades, not years. Does it help? I don't think you can get rid of your anger and self-blame. If you considered them civilised human beings, you were right, that's what a healthy mind does. You projected your healthy views on them. It's not your fault they weren't who they should've been. It's one of their main goals to undermine your trust in people and make you doubt yourself. Don't. You were the healthy one. It gives some relief.
And they also use your rightful anger against you to make it look like you're the aggressor, the "crazy" one. And the irony is that you still have no clue what's going on around you so you're just getting more and more frustrated not knowing you're digging yourself deeper and deeper in that trap. People should really be more educated on how to tell who's the abused one and who's the abuser because they confuse it even when the asymmetry of power is so obvious. But they rely on shallow optical illusions like the angry one must be the aggressor. If this harmful myth could be elminated it would make victims' life so much easier.
I was psychologically abused by my late husband for 25 years. He always threatened he would kill himself if I left. The sad part is that I never told anyone about it as I thought I was the problem, as he told me continually I was the problem and therefore I never realised I was being abused! 25 years that I will never get back. I suffer dreadfully from anxiety and depression. It was through counselling that I realised that he was the Problem, not me.
Not questioning your experinces I think the best outcome would've been if you both had realized he was probably someone with untreated trauma and you could've had the life you both deserved by treating it. It blows my mind why people even so called experts treat these symptoms as something unchangable people are born with. I think that's a tragedy of the age we live in.
I was constantly told.. you never listen to what I tell you.. oh I heard.. but I'm with a brain that kept asking what are you doing cut this person loose ASAP.. ONLY one not listening is them..
When you're being accused of things you haven't done by somebody who in their mind has no doubt, its incredibly exhausting trying to get them to believe you. She'd also say if I had nothing to hide why can't she see my phone and email, id never be allowed to see hers. She was incredibly insecure, so I felt pity but when her Paranoia manifests as anger and false accusations and aggression, its really hard to deal with. This was within a couple of months of getting together. I should have ran.
I feel the same way. But the difference Is that I'm still with my two parents. For the combo... they two are abusive miserable narcisists.
@@luisapaza317 must be hard. I hope you can imagine the day when you can put them behind you and be free.
@@JohnSmith-wo7ns thanks. The "battle" is still hard. I'm trying the most protecting the integrity of my little sister. She's like a mirror of my past context. It's so humilliating. Dehumanizing
@@luisapaza317 how old are you guys? I hope you haven't got too long to wait to be free, do you have any family you can confide in?
You nailed a lot of the abuse I was subjected too from my ex husband. Sometimes I think I’m still crazy…
No ur not.. He is. God will help you.. Thank god ur out.. Amen❤🙏
I been apologizing for things he triggered me, questions my own reality and trying to not angry him or get complains. it was a hell relationship.
Thank you for this helpful description, a lot of this resonates with me. This morning I happened to find a fortune cookie paper strip while cleaning out an old handbag: "If you do not run your subconscious mind yourself, someone else will".
Thank you Derren for giving us all this incredibly useful information for free. You are helping me become a new person not ruled by fear or anxiety
Such as the mother that thinks her daughter shouldn't marry someone and didn't even quit after 3 children, and best of all was proud of herself. It's great having somone articulating things that obviously many others have encountered.
oooooh.... this hit close to home...
well, what used to be home 🤔
Still licking the wounds... pondering and wondering.
This gave quite a few answers for me.
Thnx, yet again for posting these insightful and important (short) videos, Darren, and for sharing your knowledge❣
You have nailed it! Thank you for a very detailed and spot on description of psychological abuse. This form of abuse is extremely detrimental to the victim’s mental health, it is so effective because it makes the victims a slave of the abuser without their awareness of the improsonment. It is abuse straight from hell! Insidious ugly evil at work. Thank you for what you are doing Darren. You are saving people’s lives.
My life for this past 14 years. Ty for just airing it.
It's hard to see when you grow up with it, than life sends in a narc and all is exposed. An awakening at its best. You can't unsee it. Best to exit stage left... for your own peace, and better emotional health.
To sum up: EVERYBODY, TRUST YOUR GUT INSTINCT.
Oh my gosh!
The way you talk about this just…it’s exactly what I went through with him.
Always accusing me of things I wasn’t doing and never admit to what he did do! It drove me mad! Even threatening to take it to a legal level for ‘stalking and harassing him’😳 (I was telling him to stay away from me at the time after a third incident took place with him) I had him on block for a while but kept giving too many chances for him to regulate his emotions. I was way too nice about it! Kicking myself now
I would tell him when I felt he was placing me in the role of villain, and called out the gaslighting and the attempts to erode my confidence!
He would tell me I’m raging at him by text when I was calm and my texts reflected that but yeah still insisted he knew better than I did what I was feeling! I just said “it seems like you’re the one full of rage and resentment!
Later I realised that he was speaking to his mother through me, using me as his emotional punching bag, too much of a coward to speak to her directly, or just drunk or high like he was constantly to escape his shitty reality.
you are 'spot on' .... so clearly and the many examples u give ... helps us to ... relate ... bcuz ..
we have all heard those belittling and dismissive remarks.... doubted ourselves ... [ppl pleasers ya]
they are bullies and liars and i want to say.... stand up to them.... but i know how dangerous they are .... you must be prepared..
..... just get far, far away from them
Hits home for sure. I was in an abusive relationship for 13 years and all these things I found normal at that time, like I deserved being treated like that. I'm glad you are making these types of videos to spread awareness: it is not normal when someone treats you like this.
The most horrable way of gaslighting is the "not leaving" evidence behind" way. Not only me but also people around me started doubting me...
They (cult) put messages on my doormat in very subtile ways. They sneeked in my house without leaving evidence (database of keys) and for months "accidents" happened. I had waterproblems, (for instance the aquarium of my son was cut open in the sillicone), my dishwasher exploded and so on.
I am writing. Six years ago I wrote a clockbell rapport about this group. The rapport was stolen. Two times my laptop was blown (virus), the backup with a friend disappeared and a stick I hided in my kitchen was empty when I tried to open it.
Now I have camera's all over the place, new locks on my door for three times and writing offline.
However, they keep stalking me, by social media (fake accounts) and in the form of bizar drama's they perform where I go. They send troll's (actors with false identity) in my life to rob me or crush my heart (loverboy practises).
There is also a good part in my story; I became very strong!
Stronger then I would ever imagine I could become!
It's hard if I'm depressed but I'm just glad it's over and I'm out of prison. It's not until I got out and looked back that I realized how horrific it really was.
My sister is abused by her boyfriend.. she’s so thin and nervous.. 5 years now
Why are there so many people like this in society ?... Manipulators and Victims. Had 2 people like this in my own family, Manipulators / Narcissists.. I had the edge to stay one step ahead of them, but only just... a lot of effort and energy, and nearly cost me my relationship with my partner. Too much hassle with these people. Very educational and informative video Darren. Makes potential victims very more aware of the dangers of these social predators.
They're both victims, except probably psychopaths. They're carrying untreated traumas and could be healthy if they were treated by someone who actually knows what they're talking about. But they usually don't.
It's like there is a handbook out there for these people
Such a great explanation and examples. Myself experienced many. The misuse of name, task that'll never be correct, the contempt as one flounders to please, the use of a condition to excuse aggression.
Very well rounded vid 👏
I'm out so I'll watch this when home. But thank u so much4ur vids as I can't afford counselling at the minute. I will go tho soon as I can....
Video is right on,all all of it,starting from family members,co workers,ex.husband narc.who was hardly home to husband narc. who's a hoover.very well experienced,life draining
The non sequiturs I experienced from my abusive relationship were a first for me. You address this directly in this video, and thanks for that Darren. Really I'd get my quesry for simple information such as what time will you be ready to leave for what we planned responded to with completely unrelated information on other topics or a nasty comment about what I was wearing. Just wtf kind of unrelated responses. Then never owned up to. I endured occasional behavior of this type at times for more than a year before it all began to unravel and I began to see the patterns: the flying monkeys, the triangulation , the gaslighting, for what it was. I began to understand why I was so confused about the reality of certain basic straightforward questions from my friends or acquaintances that I couldn't easily answer in the foggy twilight state I was daily walking in from the gaslighting. Thanks so much for clarity, most of all Darren.
THANK YOU so much for this video.
I've experianced this in the workplace. It is evil it is deliberate, it is toxic and horrific. Now I have C- PTSD for life. I don't feel safe in life anymore.
I agree with everything you say…. However, I became hypervigelent( don’t think it’s correct spelling)…. Also psychotic…. When I started to come out of the fog…. I started to think I could pick up on certain peoples body language and thought I could read what they were thinking. Scary place to be!…. It was high alert gone through the roof!…. Calmer now I am not in the company of certain people. 😬.
Excellent video! I'm so nauseous 🤮 this is my life. Love from Albuquerque.
You need to get out!
Leave!
Once again Darren hits the nail right on the head. Described perfectly in the usual style which is always easy to understand. I’d say at least 80% of what has been said describes my ex. Incredibly controlling, manipulative and abusive. I’m so glad I escaped when I did. I pity her. She’s an incredibly damaged individual but thankfully I’ve sought help and I’m improving continuously. It’s been 18 months plus since I became single and I’m a different bloke.
After 25 years of abuse, I've decided that I'd rather be dead than continue living like this. 😢
I am sorry to hear this Lynn. My prayer for you and for me is to decide and learn to self care as a priority
I really appreciate how you clearly define these topics. Also, the Star Wars stand rocks.
Thank Darren, excellent video. After watching it, I’m now convinced that my life was much better before certain people re-emerged.
Sounds like my ex-husband. Thank you God for delivering me from death.
Sir, listening to you makes me so grateful that I have put some people out of my life, some are family. You have also revealed to me certain things were psychological abuse that didn't dawn on me. While I never complied with them, your information was definitely enlightening.
Thank you again Darren. Like your channel very much. Very glad to see you again.
Hi Darren, I have recently discovered your channel and you have really amazing content regarding this topic. Even in 2022 this kind of knowledge and insight is still cutting edge. For many people finding out about narca and finding out words to describe what is being done to them , I imagine is keeping them from going insane. I am not presently in an abusive situation but I have gone no contact with pretty much everyone. Again, great content and so well explained. I know there are so many channels with same focus but when I start listening to videos content and knowledge is seriously lacking. Thank you for putting this out in the world and shining light in dark places and minds kept in the darkness.
By far the best expert on the Internet because he gives examples in multiple examples not just that they over talk people because there’s some gray areas here where people with ADHD can over talk people but he gives enough examples to show that maybe a person over talk someone isn’t an abuser but when you start looking all these other things that go along with over talking them then yes that’s an abuser so it helps you differentiate whether you’re being abused or not course therapy helps but I haven’t seen a therapist yet help me I had to go to an expert in criminology after my divorce!!!!
This was very helpful and informative. The first quote was so poignant. Thank you for acknowledging that this can be very subtle and hard to detect. So true!
WOW, this video is fantastic. I'm saving this one and will listen to it over and over again.
Brilliant. So clearly described and well presented.
Thinking back to some of the earlier videos on personality types and personality disorders, is there a typical personality profile of someone who is psychologically abusive? This sounds more intentional and calculated than some of the behaviour, say, of grandiose narcissists. I wonder is this a dark triad/dark empath thing?
Thanks for making these videos.
Thank you for your kind feedback. I’ll be making videos on dark personalities in the near future I hope they answer your questions
sort of similar to political and governmental tactics to shape and mold society. WE HAVE BEEN THERE FOR SOME TIME.
Your comment is so very true! We have been transformed into a culture that is way off track. Our government has been overthrown & we are often treated like citizens of corrupt foreign regimes. There needs to be a new mental illness ( political narcissism ) in the Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of mental disorders.
We seem to be in a state of advanced cancer or a house eaten by termites. And yet I continue to hang on to hope that our nation will survive.
Thanks for the video Darren and looking forward to watching! 😃 Best wishes and have a lovely day too ☀️
God bless You. Amen
Oh I so thank you so much for this video too! Thank you gratefully! Is so sad, a bitter medicine for good health in the end. I have a twin brother like this...As If the rest of the family wasn't enough. .. Thank you doctor, your are a good medicine.
You hit all the nails on the head. Thank you. I really needed this.
Powerful quote by George Orwell, my friend, so impactful that I wrote it down and will place it among other quotes that I routinely read and reflect on. Thank you.
Forms of discrimination also come to mind here. As in, whatever a particular person achieves, even if perfect, is still regarded with contempt or dismay.
Thank you Sir!
Excellent information!! Thank you very much!!!!
Yes, insomnia, lack of energy, anxiety.
Thank you so much for making this video. ❤️
Sounds like you’ve met my parents. How do you know them so well?🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️🤪
Right? He pretty much described my stepdad's (and sometimes my mom's) parenting style. When I was a teenager, I knew we were being emotionally abused, and I thought the abuse finally stopped when I moved out 4 years ago. But over the past 6 months, I've been waking up to the fact that they still treat me this way as an adult, and a recent manipulation attempt definitely confirmed it. I cut off contact and I've been watching videos like this to figure out how to proceed. I don't think my mom and my little sister are too far gone...but I think my stepdad is.
Ticked the whole list 😱 Great channel 💫
THANKYOU DARREN
FOR YOUR CHANNEL AND VIDEOS
🙏😘🌸💖🌹🧿
Of all my searches for assurance “it’s not me” or “in my head”, this is the most detailed video. Thank you 🙏🏼
Darren could you do a video explaining why some people are so desperate for power, control and people to abuse? I just can’t understand how that sort of mind works. Until I understand how they think I don’t think I will ever understand it. And why do people ‘flock and fawn’ to these abusive people even though deep down they don’t think they are good people.
I have made videos on why narcissists behave the way they do, their enablers and flying monkeys if they answer any of your questions?
Incredible you offer this extremely valuable information for free. You may be surprised how many of us are going thru this Torture
I appreciate your videos, they are so validating. Thank you🙌
Thanks for the videos Darren. You explain things so clearly and we are blessed for your professional guidance.
Very Good Counsel, Thank you Mr. Magee. I have been a “target” for over 10 years with increasing Obsession to the point that I feel it may be Demonic Influence, It has brought me to my knees, Dostoevsky citation was perfect on mind control and manipulation … A course on Moral Theology at Saint Joseph’s College of Maine has helped me greatly as well as Exorcism in the Catholic Church …The book Dominion: The Nature of Diabolic Warfare by Fr. Chad A Ripperger and the Science of Mental Health are essential textbooks that describe this behavior and offer good Moral Counsel. Thank you and God Bless you. Agape, Patrick 🙏
Thank you, another brilliant video 👍.
Thank you so much for telling it like it is!!! I truly appreciate that. It's the truth!
Love your literary references Darren.
You got it spot on
Thank you 🙏
Thank you.
Thank you, it is so clear. I recognise everything you say.
thank you. very helpful
Boy this was a thorough explanation of psychological manipulation and abuse by a narcissist and their friends their associates are related to so much of what you were speaking about wow concentrated TNT specific intricate exacting profoundly correct knowledge about this abuse I cannot thank you enough I’m going to listen to this again wow I won’t even say all the different things that exactly lined up with what you were saying but exactly lined up with what you were saying identification is half the battle once you know what’s going on and you don’t have to buy into it you don’t have to participate with it you know you can you can realize what’s happening and what you what you allowed to have happen there are no victims is only volunteers you know that carrot always looks so good dangled in front it always you wanna believe you wanna believe the psych to tell you things people friends tell you things your own Spidey sense tell you things but all that carrot looks juicy and orange and yummy and you’re so hungry and you just keep its dangle just out of your region you keep Nagin forward until finally one day somebody realize hey it’s just a plastic care and it’s not even real quick wake up lol and then it’s too late you’re not even yourself anymore you shaved your head you threw away all your things that meant anything to you that you enjoyed and you turned into some kind of freak that they wanted you to be that has nothing to do with you and your authentic self your unique and wonderful magnificent personality it’s gone it was it was drum down of you with fear and humiliation and shaming and just being bullied and boy I’m gonna listen to this again thank you what a beautiful room you have with that green it’s so unusual with the high ceiling to the point and that green green green and your blue eyes your silver hair your incredible message videos don’t get any better than this thanks so much I really needed to hear exactly this 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍😊🙏🆗
You need to start a dating app so that all the nice people in your audience can get together! We have a lot in common.
I can't believe this.. I was finding it so difficult to articulate myself. What's the solution.. ?
He claimed he was autistic and I was being ‘ableist’. Would make up the craziest shit to then turn around and throw at me and deflect from what he did do and would absolutely not believe me and tell me I’m lying when I’d defend myself! He’d tell me what I’m feeling and if I said I wasn’t raging at him (on messenger where I could prove it) he’d simply tell me I’m lying again and claim I was raging then go tell my support group I yelled at him or hit him or some nonsense and they’d believe him after they were the ones warning me to stay away from him initially and knew he lied about everything? Absolute madness!
Living with hypervigilance for decades.
It’s scary how much I could relate to this.
I don't mean to start a controversy here, so if this is out of line, please delete it. All of this sounds like the religion I grew up with. I was taught from childhood that people are naturally flawed. Everything about human nature was bad and displeasing to our diety. No matter how good we tried to be, we would never be good enough for that diety and we constantly had to ask for forgiveness for the smallest things, even for thoughts we'd had. At the same time, that diety was never wrong, and if it seemed like it was wrong it was our fault because we didn't understand its greater purpose. I broke out of that religion when I was 16 and now it hurts my head any time I think about being caught in that trap.
It Is a life lived in Fear for decades. Fear is depleting my energy and of constant vigilance. - Göd, what have I done to live my final years in isolation and fear.
For me, I can see the way people act, for example when they’re being passive aggressive and insulting, maybe going out of their way to hurt someone’s reputation or credibility, etc. It happens quite constantly for me over the past few decades and it comes from just about everyone at some point or another. At first, I didn’t know how to put it into words and I still struggle at times but not nearly as much. It’s not what people are doing anymore, I can see that and I think they are pathetic for it. For me, it’s the why…Why try to cause harm to someone? Why go out of your way to make things so difficult for them they don’t even want to be in that environment anymore? Someone who literally is just trying to survive like everyone else, why would you be such a horrible, manipulative person? And why is this type of behavior so welcomed in our society? I don’t think I’m crazy for being able to see behavioral patterns in people after all I’ve been through- I don’t understand why other people don’t see this. Maybe they do they just don’t want to be bothered.
The reason why they want to hurt others is that they are miserable inside their own skin. They believe that if they can make you suffer, their own misery will be easier to live with. They're wrong about that, they don't have the maturity of a fully functioning adult mind. They're blind to the reality that they are doing harm to themselves as well as the target. Personal relationship with my wife gave me that insight. She stole my cat and then threw me under the bus when I told her that I saw her do it. She took the only person that was willing to take her anger and abuse and flushed any chance down the toilet that I would forgive her. She could've apologized, but no. An apology would mean that she wasn't perfect. Her ego was more important than her family, so she decided to double down on being a bitch. I could see that she was struggling with the prospect of losing her family, but she threw it all away just so she wouldn't have to admit guilt. The funny thing is, she has to live with the guilt. The guilt is not for me to give, the only thing I can do is release the guilt if she was to say sorry. She won't even acknowledge that she has hurt anyone in the slightest. Her guilt will never be forgiven as she will never admit wrongdoing. She will die alone, because she gets worse with every interaction. Her solution to all her problems is to blame everyone else and to double down on being a bitch. The louder the bitch the better. Flawless thinking in her book.
@@bohabdestructo7489 I don't think you understood your wife. At all. You clearly weren't meant to be together.
I tell you why, because it's a different movie rolling in their mind than in yours. They either believe you hurt them so they retaliate or they see you as a threat, or maybe just a chess piece. I don't think it's one single category, there are many different mindsets that come down as manipulative. It doesn't even have to be manipulation, you might be just seeing things differently. It really depends on the assumption people make, how they interpret the behaviour they see, which can be based on their own experiences or something they borrowed, learned from someone without putting the effort into their own observations.
My ex fiancé would try to put ideas into my head about my family so I would choose him over my family. Always talking about my family in a negative light. He also gaslit me A LOT! Every time, I turned around, I was being gaslit. He would also change the language when I was talking with him so I would have a hard time trying to articulate what I was saying.
Stole my curiosity and love to go outside and fall in love with the land again. Had been waiting for this cooler weather, now just bitter
Laying Down With Resentment
The honesty though
Giving it all away
The things we say were stolen from us
We really can't lie to ourselves
That's the important part
That's the prize
Giving it all away a little more each time
Forgiveness and lack of resentment
A little less each time
After complacency
Getting old
Getting back somehow by getting tired
Realizing who's choices and decisions
The honesty covered up and covered up
Still shining
During the complacency we try unsuccessfully to bury it
Passing the time hoping for the world to change around us
Catching up so that our accomplishments can be mutually respected
Appreciated, and not used against us
The honesty though
That is the prize
The prize they would rather steal, yet we give it away
We give ourselves away
I feel like a weights been lifted off my shoulders that this is something real that happened to me. There’s a name for it.