8:56 I bet that Dad wouldn’t have reacted the same way if he found his 17 year old son with porn. He’s just freaking out that his daughter is reading smut.
exactly, the fact that he called her disgusting makes wonder if he is not more angry at the fact that his daughter is a sexual being that the content she is reading
Same thing happened to me as a teenage girl over a decade ago. My dad called me a pervert and threw my laptop away, I had no computer for the second half of high school and when I had to do assignments for school I had to use his PC, and he’d watch me the entire time. Then once I was hanging out in my brother’s room and my dad glimpsed a picture of a naked girl on my brother’s phone, and just got this huge smile, laughed and said, “Hey! What was that? You shouldn’t have that on there.” Like it was just my _younger_ (~14 yo) brother being a lovable rascal.
This. When I write it helps me feel like I have some sort of control. I usually remove it from anything I write before letting other people read it just because I don't want to trigger anyone, but I still will write it into my stories sometimes.
also people don’t seem to understand that you can fantasize about something but never actually want that to play out IRL. like if you’re reading about that kind of thing you’re in one fully in control which is not the case if it’s actually happening
Also, I've seen it used as like... cautionary tales, tips on how to avoid it and how to go forward if it happens to you. All sorts of things, but almost always with a positive message (like it's not your fault/it's nothing to be ashamed of/etc)
Personally I think it's WILD to put that much trust in someone to handle all of the financials, no matter how mucb you love them. Stuff can always go left in so many different ways
@@mek0411financials cause me a lot of anxiety. My mental health is much better now that my husband handles all money. For us, it is much better that he deals with the money, my mental health is significantly better. If I want something he pays for it, I have access to money I just don't look at the actual records.
"She's off work because she's 38 weeks pregnant with our first child." I swear I reacted just like John. Yelled "There it is!" and proceeded to throw my hands up and take a lap around my bedroom because I was instantly pissed off. Lol
As an avid fanfic reader reading angst is definitely a form of catharsis. I remember going through my parents divorcing and feeling extremely isolated and alone, so I would easily read 200.000k words worth of fanfics in a day with characters I saw myself in going through horrific things and then being taken care of by friends/parental figures, many times it’s hard to process complicated emotions and stories can help to feel things instead of dissociating or being numb, that father saw something that could potentially point to his daughter going through something in her life and instead chose to call her disgusting, I feel super bad for her. Also she’s SEVENTEEN no reason for you to be snooping on her phone without extremely good reasons.
Write! I definitely used some darker fanfics that would turn positive later as a way to deal with a ton of things growing up Its perfectly normal also sometimes ya just need to read a good sad story
@@sanctuary_polarisAs someone who has a background in psychology, I can promise you that it is NOT perfectly normal to use Dark fan fiction as way of coping through bad things. Especially something so dark as SA. If anyone is using this type of material to cope through hard times (whether it be SA, Murder, Abuse etc) I highly encourage you to seek help through a professional. It's one thing to read a sad story, it's another to actively seek out such dark material.
@@ashleysonnenburg1704 I think part of it is a form of therapy. I know I used it to come to terms withsome things that happened to me, and I think it is a wonderful tool for expressing those experiences and feelings. Honestly, it helped me much more than therapy actually did. Granted, and I will admit this, it can also be a form of self harm at times, to seek out that dark content with the express intent to feel bad. I know it took a while for me to realise, because it doesn't actually have external signs and out of the list, it's one of the least obvious.
@@ashleysonnenburg1704this might be a wild swing and a miss on my part, but what i think they were trying to say is that they and others would read about someone going through a hard time/something dark and then coming through the other side, healing and being supported by ppl as a way to cope. a sort of message in a bottle to themselves so to speak. a "this character made it through this thing and found happiness and healing, i too can make it through my tough experience to find happiness and healing" sort of philosophy. it's even got it's own tag on ao3 'Hurt/Comfort'
TW for sh when i was in middle school, i would sh a lot. i was also a biiig fanfic reader, and the stories i would look for involved sh where the mc would do it and get comfort/help from someone. im glad to say i dont do that anymore (except on verrry rare occasions, and i unfortunately do have other self destructive tendencies), but seeing as i have severe depression.. i still like stories that deal with suicidal characters as myself lol. no need to worry about me attempting anything as its too scary and ik i have people who love me, but yeah its just a comfort thing
Lots of people have mentioned that people may read about sa because they unfortunately relate to it or because SA just is sadly a part of our society. Another thing is SA kinks or fantasy can be a way that people who have been shamed or who's sexuality has been represed can experience sexual fantasies without shame or guilt. For example, if a girl has been told over and over again that she shouldn't enjoy sex and that sex is shameful she may fantasize about a scenario where she was not at fault for the sexual encounter. In fact the fact that the Dad in the first story immediately shamed the daughter may explain why she was reading the fanfiction in the first place. This doesn't mean the people who fantasize about sa actually want to be SA'd.
Good point. I think it’s also worth noting that SA involves a power imbalance, and people can be into that for the same reason a lot of people are into S&M. The desire for control or the desire for no control. There are a lot of psychological reasons for why people might be drawn to that
AO3 isn't primarily there for smut, lots of the fics on there have no smut at all. It's just an open forum for people to write fiction and post it, so a huge range of what kind of stories you can find on there. As a kid I read a lot of questionable books, including true life books on child abuse. My Mum even bought me the series of them! Lots of horror films and psychology thrillers are peoples favourite films, people seem to look at it differently if you're reading those kind of stories in words though for some reason...
Yeah, you gotta look for it and there's a reason for tags to exist there - so that people can read smut if they want, or avoid it if they want. There's more than enough stories there that you can't say it's a smut site. XD
This!! They did touch on it. It just makes me feel old when people demote it to just smut - the whole reason there is more smut is because it is an ARCHIVE. So many sites purged smut and explicit fanfics with no warning and out of the blue, of course the one place that promises to never do that will have a high smut content. It's a 'back in my day' feeling every time someone tries to say AO3 should be policed. AO3 SPOILS us with tags, it is such a wonderful step forward from what fics used to be.
@@bf8076I love the way you wrote that. AO3 has an excellent tagging and filtering system. Also Dead Dove tags exist for a reason, so people need to curate their own experience. I don't like the pearl clutching that goes on about fanfiction.
As soon as the dad said he intended to break his infant from crying, that’s when I start feeling like “LEAVE. NOW.” I know it’s not that simple or easy, but those are frightening words, and I think worth asking… what if he DOES *break* that baby- if not physically, emotionally. He sounds on the edge of shaking that baby already.
OP in story 5 knows he's the AH because he omitted that his wife is pregnant in his original post. He skirted around it because he knows he will get flamed, and rightfully so.
13:50 Josh is right. For some people it is cathartic and helps them process things. For some people it's just a bizarre kink. I don't like it because of past trauma, but I won't deny that there are people who use it as a tool to soothe themselves.
I am glad you guys revealed that the fanfic in this first story was a House of the Dragons fanfic. I remember some commenter bringing up how people watch that show and it has themes like what the fic consisted of, then the OP revealed that was the fandom the fic was for.
So for the reading that had SA in it: 1. I read a lot of it when I was a kid as it's literally in most things you read. I didn't realize it wasn't normal/okay till I was older if that makes sense. A conversation needs to be has with the kid just to make sure they know it's not okay for real life. 2. Books aren't real! If you like content but know it's harmful to do in real life I think that's fine. Lots of us watch porn that literally can't or shouldn't happen in real life, if you can separate fantasy from what should happen in real life... Idk a lot of what gets people off doesn't make sense imo lol
Right - I was reading VC Andrews when I was in middle school lol. Definitely not appropriate material for a kid but the kid in this story was 17 and the dad could've just NOT snooped.
50:15 at 38 weeks she can have that baby at pretty much any time. 40 weeks is full term but giving birth at even 36 or 37 weeks isn't really out of the range of normal.
22:15 men like this do not get better, they are narcissists, ALSO anyone who uses the word ‘break’ in reference to children should be investigated because you’d probably find crimes. That guys an abuser.
So I’m curious if the guy who hid the fact his wife is 38 weeks pregnant is also hiding the fact she’s on bedrest. My mom was on light duty and then bedrest starting at like 6 or 7 months with me. Anyway, he definitely should just marry his mom or sister if he’s so into it.
Okay, as someone who reads a lot and talks to a lot of people who love to read and even some who love to write. From what I've heard of people (and know from my own experience) a lot of people write about SA, not because they enjoy it but because it happens a lot and both writing about it and reading about it can be very cathartic in lots of ways. For example, reading a story in which the main character, the character you're supposed to relate to, goes through trauma similar to trauma you went through it makes the story and character more relatable. Also, I think a lot of people who got SA'd feel like it's their own fault in a way and it makes them feel ashamed, so reading about other experiences of it (both real life and fiction) helps make them feel less ashamed and possibly help make the reader feel less like it's their own fault. This is just from what I've observed, if someone else has like another idea or other experiences I'd like to hear them though
Exactly!! It's like "if I can see the character as a victim, and I lived through a similar experience, than I can realise that I didn't deserve/cause it, but I was a victim too". I feel it's easier to feel empathy for a 3rd person than towards yourself
So much this. I found a book thru a reading project in high school that got me thru some shit and that author writes books about slightly rougher topics[in a respectful way] to do just that honestly I was sad to see it banned in another school district like 2 yrs ago cause what if another hs student needs to read that to help them the same way it helped me
As someone who reads fanfic and often reads stories that have dark themes it is most often a form of coping in a way. It makes me feel validated with the emotions I experience. I feel comforted when my favorite characters admit to feeling the same way. It helps to read about my favorite characters saying what I want or need to hear. The dad is TA. He could have started a conversation with her and see if there was anything she wanted to speak of and then talking to OP to form a game plan of how to approach this conversation with their daughter.
I think in the second story, op said to him not to bring bad energy and stuff, because she knew his character. She knew that he always pick up on her and demoralize her. I think maybe she thought that with a kid, he would change
Another thing about the wedding story is the friends OP mentioned were initially her husband’s friends, she in the comments says that she needs to get own friends.
For the sister who's dealing with Jess and Lina- Jess is not her best friend. I have a best friend - we wont even watch an episode of a show without eachother. If one drops off on the show, we'll ask if we can watch it without eachother. Tell her. The young sister will have to learn her lesson, and the older sister can be free - because I guarantee this is NOT the first time Jeff has strayed. Xxxx
First story: SA is a common theme in a lot of movies and shows (especially with male directors it's a pattern) and it happens to so many people (especially those perceived as women!) in real life. My first move would've been to ask if it happened to OP's kid. Now OP's kid knows that, if anything like that ever happens, OP's husband is not a safe person to talk to.
SA is a somewhat common thing in many YA books, usually at least in those I've read, it's a cautionary tale, tips on how to avoid it and/or what to do if it happens to you. It kind of shines light on it, when many people don't want to talk about it.
I feel so bad for the daughter in the first story, I would've been horrified if my parents found fanfics I read (or well, still read tbh) as a horny and explorative teenager.😵💫 It's honestly so tiring to see ADULTS argue over whether reading/consuming "problematic" material is okay, as if people haven't been doing that basically since the dawn of time (just see some of the oldest myths and fairytales). The beauty of fiction is that we get to explore things that would not work in our reality, and sometimes those things include toxic situations of fantasies. What comes to teenagers consuming dark sexual content, personally I wouldn't find that too concerning as long as it's not the only form of said content they consume. It might just be morbid curiosity and a safe outlet for them to process that things like that (unfortunately) exist.
As a fellow mom, I thank you for getting your kid away from that unsafe space and situation even if you had to go though so much (I can only imagine) by raising him alone Much love ❤
As a parent, I’d be concerned if my 16 year old daughter was reading graphic SA stories (because it’s really dark & maybe she’s trying to understand what might have happened to her). But I wouldn’t have ever yelled at her and shamed her. I would have wanted her to be able to come to me and discuss things (how SA is not ok in relationships, explain kinks, etc).
I'm almost 49 and have 4 kids, two in early teens, two adult. Never ever once ever have I evr snooped their shit. IMO it's bad parenting that comes from being excessively controlling and bad at the actual parenting part. If you have an open policy relationship with your kids they will come to you with anything, be it hard, emotional, mistakes or anything, you simply need to not be a judgemental POS to make this possible and very much practiced in a family. Regardless of problems, my kids can and DO tell me anything in every circumstance without worry or complications they come to me and will tell me or confess or discuss the thing at hand. If you act like a control freak or you judge them, they will not come to you, why would they!?
13:32 It’s not only the comfort thing, saying that as an SA survivor. But people also have stuff like dub-con (dubious consent) or con-noncon (consensual non consent) kinks. I’m not one to kink shame, if you like it then you like it, but please note! If you do read or attempt to try out these kinks do so safely & do lots of research BEFORE getting into it!
Story 1: Josh is very right; reading/writing SA content for some people can be very cathartic, either as a manner of managing fear of a possibility or as coping with a traumatic experience. For some people it's just a kink (that I hope they never act on). However, in that situation, where a parent finds their teenage kid reading/writing SA content... I'd be very concerned -- it may be indicative that they may be seeking a coping mechanism for something they themselves were a victim of. If they aren't a victim (thank goodness), and they're reading it for pleasure, it's important that they understand that SA isn't acceptable.
I have a misspelled German word on the back of my neck... I used to be decent in reading & writing it, and was SO sure I had it correct that I didn't even double check it! 😂😂😂. Teenage hubris.
About the first story: I enjoy reading webnovels with that kind of extreme subject sometimes because of the character development afterwards. I like stories where the MC has had a tough life, still trying their best and maybe now hitting rock bottom only for the Male Lead to swoop in and rescue them. I also enjoy when he has a loving family and they just all gather around the Main character and nurture them. Because that's comforting to me as someone who has been through some sh*t and didn't have that kind of family life. It could also just be a kink as others have said or a way to enjoy those subjects when they've always been taught that it's shameful. Definitely not as big of a red flag to me, because it's fiction. I think taking this as an immediate "my child is a danger to society" is the same as calling a GTA gamer violent. I do think the dad should have talked to his wife and let her have a conversation with their daughter just to make sure she's doing ok. Everything beyond that was just too much.
Uh, just for the record, AO3 is NOT a smut website. It's a site for posting fanfiction, and some of that is smut, but a good majority is wholesome, cute, funny, cool fanfiction. There's all levels and all types of stories written there - sexual-centric stories are part of that, but the purpose of the site is not and never has been smut. If it were, it wouldn't have tags to allow the exclusion of it, after all. Sorry, just touchy about this subject since I've been looked at oddly by a lot of people just for saying I've read fanfics before - a lot of people seem to think the only ones in existence are heavy in sexual content but that's honestly not true. A lot of great fanfics exist out there, with little-to-no smut. I'm not saying there isn't any, but you do gotta specifically look for it if you want to read it.
i had to come over to youtube from listening to the podcast just to see the reaction that caused the huge crash sound after it was revealed that the wife was on maternity leave
I think I can provide some helpful insight based on past and ongoing trends and also my own experiences growing up. When you're very young, you idealize a lot, which is reflected in YA media. It particularly affects young women/females in heterosexual relationships. As far as their roles, expectations of their partners, themselves as individuals and partners, their ideas of what love and relationships should be, etc. One prevalent characteristic that I noticed becomes heavily 'idealized,' (which I also did when I was much younger) is how much the relationship is tested, usually on the female partner's side. Besides 3rd party interferences (parental disapproval, etc.), it's often the male partner that doing through a series of actions that involves neglect, aggression, and even violence. The justification usually being that he grew up without love, doesn't how to love or show love, etc., but that the love, patience, and kindness of a (usually) inexperienced, virginal aka pure (blegh) young female will show him the light and either bring out his innate goodness or transform him entirely. To a certain extent, at least, I think we still indulge in this idea when we're older. But, ideally by now, we are mature and knowledgeable enough to realize that the possibilities and outcomes in the fictional realm don't equate to RL and make sure no one in real life is deluded or deceived by these romanticized scenarios in fiction and end up getting harmed as a result. While ideas like SA, violence, and other forms of hardships are alarming, I think it comforts viewers/readers to be transported and get temporarily lost in a world where, no matter how many bad things happen to you and how much they hurt you, it leads to you ultimately being vindicated, rewarded, and/or being given some sort of effective closure for all your heartache and tragedy. Something which we sadly have to often go without in reality. These ideas have persisted throughout time btw. Older examples include The Sheik(film series and novels), the Dollanganger series, Luke and Laura from "General Hospital," Hana Yori Dango/Boys Over Flowers manga/various drama adaptations. There's even classic literary examples that include 'Byronic heroes' (literary term for these kind... "Troubled"(to say the least) male love interests) like Rochester from Jane Eyre, Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights, etc. Also, these tropes aren't limited to heterosexual relationships. This is also happens a lot in BL(Boys Love) media as well. Part of the fascination may be that there are elements of aggression and even violence that seem to be more accepted in a testosterone-filled relationships as opposed to hetero relations. Aside from that, But the main consumers of this genre still tends to be women/females. So, the dynamics described from prior paragraphs still persist and have similar effects on the (often) hetero female audience. Anyway, this is just a condensed version. I'm sure there is much more to it than the above .Hope it provides some insight/clarity to ya'lls discussion and understanding!
PS: SEAN!!! You would be NOT be wrong for being angry if your heterosexual son is consuming content promoting violence! When females/women consume fiction with violence in it, they're often seeing themselves through the lens of the female character/victims and so they can be given the benefit of a doubt that they're not going to harm anybody (make sure they're knowledgeable enough to avoid harm for themselves, but that's a different discussion). Whereas heterosexual guys often see themselves through the POV of the aggressive/violent male characters and *may* be influenced by them to treat female/women that way. As far as approach, don't jump to conclusions and act on undue assumptions. At the very least be sure you know the boy's intentions before formulating definite opinions and actions. Also, I'm so used to guys saying "baby girl" in a creepy way. It's so sweet and comforting to hear John say it in a concerned, loving, non-sexual way. ^^
Story 2: I used to write stories when I was a teen. Very, VERY vanilla (like, a kiss at the end). It was the 80's, so way before social media. But they were private, just for me. Until they started disappearing. My father complimented me on a poem I wrote, and that's when I knew he was finding and reading my stories. I stopped writing then and there, and didn't start again until I was in my late 20's and lived 3,000 miles away. The crazy thing is that both of my parents are/were writers (my father passed in 2008) and wanted my brother and I to follow in their footsteps. Neither of us did. He violated my privacy in a terrible way, something that happened on a regular basis. And he later wondered why I never confiided in him. Unless OP's husband wants to truly destroy his relationship with their daughter, he'd better apologize profusely, promise to NEVER do it again, and keep that promise. Even then, it might not be enough. His calling her disgusting is going to stay with her for a long time. Shaming our kids is what's disgusting. Story 3: OP is NTA. But her husband is, and she needs to get herself and her son away from him. Story 4: OP needs to tell her sister. Jeff will continue to cheat on her with other women if he knows he can get away with it. And Lina needs to know what her husband and sister have done. And the kids need to know, as well. And to know that its unacceptable. "Wife won't do housework": I really hope OP's wife takes the baby and goes far, far away. OP will end up screwing up that child.
The double take I did when I heard my name xD That's also why I tell my non-Swedish friends to just say Lily, as it's easier. Granted Lina, is just like how you'd say Angelina. Hold up... My sister is call Jess (Jessica).... Good thing the ages are wrong, otherwise I'd have to check on our third sister to see what the f is going on xD I also don't have a husband. Oh, at least where I live in Europe, where Lina and Lena are pretty common names, here's the difference for us. Li - like you'd say Angelina. Le - like you'd say Leopard
For the SA in fanfics and books part, to me i find weird comfort that I can somewhat control the situation or that I am not helpless. A few of my friend who went through SA in real life read those types of fanfics for those exact reasons. It's a way of coping, so to speak
I vote that John and Sean should be in agreement before the story. Let them battle it out until they agree on one answer. If they are wrong they get a point. But if they get all right Josh gets point.
Re: john’s slob on my knob anecdote. I’ve lived in France a few times & I heard completely uncensored rap over the speakers at numerous places like cafes. To date, my favorite song I heard uncensored was bodak yellow by cardi b in a cafe & I had the same reaction as John 😂😂😂
That famous Draco and Hermione fanfic is a Handmaids Tale retelling- that’s why there’s ess-a. Please don’t misunderstand, it was not written to be enjoyable.
There are tons of free translation apps that will translate when you take a picture of it. If you are getting a tattoo in a language you can’t read maybe double check what it says using an app before they start tattooing
speaking as a wasian (chinese) that barely speaks or reads mandarin, you truly see some insane shit written on (mainly white) people's bodies and passed off as ancient proverbs or whatever. my favorites are nonsensical things like 北京烤鸭 (peking duck) and the offensive stuff like 操你吗 (have fun googling that one). like you said though, the cultural ignorance goes both ways, so i guess you can't be too upset lol. if you ever want a good laugh, go and look up kpop idols wearing clothing with english words on it. it's like the absurd slogans and out of context buzz words you'd see on forever 21 shirts, but wayyy worse, with tons of random english words and extremely explicit messages. lots of stuff that would never pass broadcasting standards and get them cancelled if it were written in hangul haha.
The only way I would get another language tattooed on me is if I understood it myself, like right now I'm learning Japanese when I get more confident and comfortable with the language I may get something tattooed for my mom. She lived in Japan when she was younger and loved it. She's the reason why I'm so interested in learning.
There are a lot of popular tiktok books that glorify sa and abusive relationships. "I can fix him" This is different from violent video games for sure just because it is so normalised and even made to be romantic 'omg he loves her so much even though he struggles'
Story 1 is giving me flashbacks to when I was 15 and my dad found the Wattpad One Direction fan fiction that I was reading on my computer search history 🫣
what you read does not define your character! I've been a slasher/horror fan since I was a kid and I'm also the wimpiest, least violent person alive lol The kid is 17, she should get to read fucked up fanfic and she's definitely owed an apology
On fan fiction: If I'm overwhelmed or very sad, it helps me to read fan fiction and listen to music that match that mood because I can connect that emotion to the flow of that story or that song's lyrics and know there will be resolution at the end instead of feeling like I will never come out of that overwhelmed or sad state. Do note, some posted stories are just those dark scenes but there's also full stories that include the lead up to the scene and/or the fallout and journey to healing after. I can understand accidentally opening the fic, active tabs don't go away unless you close the tab itself but that reaction was not good. OP was going through daughter's phone the WHOLE DAY? He wasn't still raging when the wife came home? Bet daughter regrets trusting him enough to not have one or to give it to him. Missed opportunity to be a Ned Stark, chose to be the Shame-lady.
Story number 3. Wife would have been 16!!!!!! when her first kid was born. Yeah that's very young, still don't know how old the husband is/would have been...
Hi. Fellow Filipino right here. I just wany to correct John that the proper term is Baybayin and not Alibata. Apparently one person in 1921 "noticed" that Arabic script and Baybayin were "similar" but they were not and hence the biggest fake news was born. Even the term Alibata was not really Filipino as it was composed arabic letters Alif, Ba, and Ta. Baybayin was the right term because it was mentioned in publications dating back to the Spanish Colonization. The slight fumble is okay because there a lot of people here in the PH still get confused.
On story 5: there is likely a reason she’s off work while still pregnant (ex. Bed rest orders) it’s already difficult to be heavily pregnant but if there’s something else too it would be worse
On the two sisters and husband story it also needs to be taken into consideration that the sister and husband were having unprotected sex because of the miscarriage. If nothing else this is enough to tell her.
Story 1: I think dad was snooping on purpose. He’s in the wrong and needs to apologize. She is also 17 so I feel like reading smut is pretty normal. The SA part he could’ve just asked instead yelling. Story 2: girly pop RUN. Your husband is super controlling. Story 5: she’s full term and could give birth at any moment. She probably is off work because she’s on bed rest. YOUR FAMILY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR PREGNANT WIFE. He sucks and he’s an AH.
For that last story, even though she was a Karen and was racist, it doesn’t give the tattoo artist the right to do that. She should sue him, even though she was acting that way. Just kick her out. Now he’s liable for damages. Maybe even assault.
I still read on archive even though I thought I’d stop reading fanfics years ago. A lot of interesting are on the site, but I’ve stopped reading sa stories once I recognised that a lot of them were not only fetishised, but is a big problem in fanfics. Some “romances” start from it. I remember writing a story were a character was attacked by a werewolf and one of the commentators assumed she was sa’d, which I had to shoot down the very next chapter by addressing it in the notes. I also read a lot of those stories during my preteens, not understanding the severity and how it could mess up my perception on the world. Thankfully, I never got involved in anything sexually nor have I been sa’d, but I cannot deny that my mind has been exposed to things it shouldn’t have. The father could’ve instead asked the daughter if she’s okay, and encourage her to wait until she’s older to read those stories.
Story 1: Another aspect of reading about SA as a woman - many women, especially young women, have their sexuality suppressed to the point where they can't even allow themselves to enjoy it in their own minds. It might literally feel easier to fantasize about their romance SA:ing them because then then they are not the ones breaking their expected virtue of chastity. That is NOT the same as wanting to be SA:ed, as it's literally a fantasy they have full control over and the character is doing exactly what they want, but it simply removes their guilt for consenting. It wouldn't surprise me if she feels a compulsive need to be chaste if that's the reaction any sexuality on her part is met with. Poor kid.
There are A LOT of women who have dark sexual fantasies, it's very common, you don't have to be a victim to want to explore those topics. And fantasy doesn't translate to reality, just because you fantasize about something doesn't mean you'd be okay with it in real life.
On reading SA smut: I recommend contrapoints' video on twilight. They do an excellent, well-researched, and entertaining deep dive into the psychology/sociology/etc behind non-consent in media
Oh man I've had 5 kids. 2 of those I had anemia. The first anemic pregnancy, I didn't know until the day I gave birth. So annoying! I could barely get off the couch for the last month. So even in the same woman energy levels and capacity is so different between pregnancies. My last pregnancy was actually my easiest because she was my smallest baby and I didn't get the crippling hip pain walking or trying to roll over. lol.
the last one is especially funny bc hangul (korean characters) and hanzi (chinese characters) dont even look remotely alike so she rlly did no research at all if she looked at it and was like "yup thats chinese"
I found Ao3 in 9th grade so I was about 14. Mom found out and threw a fit, Dad laughed and said she read the same shit and worse 😂. Not even a year later my phone died by way of the battery exploding and I read Ao3 On Dad's phone 😅
As an avid fanfic reader who has been in a situation like this i can confidently say that dad is the asshole and potentially scarred his daughter for life. My step dad asked me if i was a devil worshiper because of the dark topics in the media i was consuming. Fanfiction, books, or just media in general can be a learning tool for children especially with real world or dark topics your parents don't teach you about. To a kid a any age this could just be them soaking up knowledge on the topics or learning and resonating with them because they went through it. If the kid thinks these dark scenarios are ok then it's a time for concern but you shouldn't get made at nor curse them to the point of calling them disgusting when all they're doing is learning about a serious topic through fan made media of something they like.
old video but i want to add that teenagers (especially girls) commonly explore these topics despite the taboos. sex and assault are new, unknown worlds for these teens and rape culture is so prevelant than many young girls are tought to normalise these things. at most, therapy may be an option for her to ensure she is safe and there isnt an underlying issue (such as trauma), but punishing her or even oushing her into therapy she isnt open to will further traumatise hwr regardless
About the last story and about Asians having English words on their clothes that are nonsense or vulgar, I bought shoes from temu last year. Super cheap shoes from china. Anyway, they have misspelled stuff all over it like “saktebard” and a few random strings of vowels and consonants. I love it. I think it’s so funny.
So I'm not really into SA in my fiction, but I feel for most people who do read it falls under the same category as most people who watch stuff with a lot of violence or crime - stuff you wouldn't approve of happening IRL but it hits different in fiction. Are there people who are a little TOO into it and it feels like a potential red flag? Yeah, definitely - but that's like a very very tiny minority of people into that kind of content. Plus in context of the story, let's face it: it's a teenage girl. My experience with teenagers and SA topics is that they are just not mature enough to fully comprehend how awful SA is if they haven't been personally affected by it - so they tend to be even more blasé about it in fiction than adults are. Obviously important to teach teens that SA is very much wrong, but I think it's one of those where the emotional understanding probably won't fully sink in until later.
Story three with Lina, Jess and Jeff… it almost might make you the asshole if you don't tell her. Like I think, John said, if people kept it from me and knew and let me be the fool and didn't tell me and reveal it and protect me because if you tell her you are protecting her from future things that go on with cheating STDs different things, and she just needs to know who is who the sister who is supposedly her best friend isn't her best friend because her best friend would not behave that way, so egregiously
Well, theres nothing qrong with wanting to keep tabs or checking in on your children, so the parent/parents should get life360 or if possible, get the same phones or some other kind of app to check their locations ect, then they should talk to each other and the children about an open door policy so to speak. Basically, they can tell the children that if they ever have a problem, an issue, questions ect, that they can always come to either one or both of the parents without the fear of being judged, ridiculed or dismissed and that they are the people the children can rely on the most, that their home is their safe haven and that no matter what time, day or age it is, that they'll always be there for them. They should also be checking up on them daily l, encouraging them to open up and have conversations, making sure they know they're loved, protected and that a parents love is unconditional, then maybe they can all sit down and come up with a game plan to where all of them can check in with each other and keep tabs so to speak, in a safe, caring way without being seen as overbearing or controlling. This is what my parents did for me and my siblings heck even some of my best friends and their families and we still do it to this day! I'm sorry for the long rant and being late to reply just wanted to give an answer to your question. Hope your well fellow wikimaniac!
Catching back up. My algorithm must be messed up. Ive been binging for a couple months now. I saw the first new year video, and then i never got any more notifications. Fuck RUclips You guys rock though
![Digital Circus Episode 4 [TRAILER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/abZtsmMUbJo/mqdefault.jpg)
8:56 I bet that Dad wouldn’t have reacted the same way if he found his 17 year old son with porn. He’s just freaking out that his daughter is reading smut.
exactly, the fact that he called her disgusting makes wonder if he is not more angry at the fact that his daughter is a sexual being that the content she is reading
Same thing happened to me as a teenage girl over a decade ago. My dad called me a pervert and threw my laptop away, I had no computer for the second half of high school and when I had to do assignments for school I had to use his PC, and he’d watch me the entire time.
Then once I was hanging out in my brother’s room and my dad glimpsed a picture of a naked girl on my brother’s phone, and just got this huge smile, laughed and said, “Hey! What was that? You shouldn’t have that on there.” Like it was just my _younger_ (~14 yo) brother being a lovable rascal.
On writing SA: Sometimes literally taking control of the narrative can help with processing your own experience.
This. When I write it helps me feel like I have some sort of control. I usually remove it from anything I write before letting other people read it just because I don't want to trigger anyone, but I still will write it into my stories sometimes.
also people don’t seem to understand that you can fantasize about something but never actually want that to play out IRL. like if you’re reading about that kind of thing you’re in one fully in control which is not the case if it’s actually happening
Also, I've seen it used as like... cautionary tales, tips on how to avoid it and how to go forward if it happens to you. All sorts of things, but almost always with a positive message (like it's not your fault/it's nothing to be ashamed of/etc)
DEAR STAY-AT-HOME/NON-WORKING SPOUSES: Always have your own money. Always. Never let your partner handle all the money.
Yeeeees!
Personally I think it's WILD to put that much trust in someone to handle all of the financials, no matter how mucb you love them. Stuff can always go left in so many different ways
@@mek0411 100%!!
@@mek0411financials cause me a lot of anxiety. My mental health is much better now that my husband handles all money. For us, it is much better that he deals with the money, my mental health is significantly better. If I want something he pays for it, I have access to money I just don't look at the actual records.
Period.
"She's off work because she's 38 weeks pregnant with our first child." I swear I reacted just like John. Yelled "There it is!" and proceeded to throw my hands up and take a lap around my bedroom because I was instantly pissed off. Lol
I was waiting for the other shoe to drop too! I was like she’s definitely got something medical going on
The fact that he decided to leave that piece of information out of the original post let me know right away this guy is an asshole.
As an avid fanfic reader reading angst is definitely a form of catharsis. I remember going through my parents divorcing and feeling extremely isolated and alone, so I would easily read 200.000k words worth of fanfics in a day with characters I saw myself in going through horrific things and then being taken care of by friends/parental figures, many times it’s hard to process complicated emotions and stories can help to feel things instead of dissociating or being numb, that father saw something that could potentially point to his daughter going through something in her life and instead chose to call her disgusting, I feel super bad for her.
Also she’s SEVENTEEN no reason for you to be snooping on her phone without extremely good reasons.
Write! I definitely used some darker fanfics that would turn positive later as a way to deal with a ton of things growing up
Its perfectly normal also sometimes ya just need to read a good sad story
@@sanctuary_polarisAs someone who has a background in psychology, I can promise you that it is NOT perfectly normal to use Dark fan fiction as way of coping through bad things. Especially something so dark as SA. If anyone is using this type of material to cope through hard times (whether it be SA, Murder, Abuse etc) I highly encourage you to seek help through a professional. It's one thing to read a sad story, it's another to actively seek out such dark material.
@@ashleysonnenburg1704 I think part of it is a form of therapy. I know I used it to come to terms withsome things that happened to me, and I think it is a wonderful tool for expressing those experiences and feelings. Honestly, it helped me much more than therapy actually did.
Granted, and I will admit this, it can also be a form of self harm at times, to seek out that dark content with the express intent to feel bad. I know it took a while for me to realise, because it doesn't actually have external signs and out of the list, it's one of the least obvious.
@@ashleysonnenburg1704this might be a wild swing and a miss on my part, but what i think they were trying to say is that they and others would read about someone going through a hard time/something dark and then coming through the other side, healing and being supported by ppl as a way to cope. a sort of message in a bottle to themselves so to speak. a "this character made it through this thing and found happiness and healing, i too can make it through my tough experience to find happiness and healing" sort of philosophy. it's even got it's own tag on ao3 'Hurt/Comfort'
TW for sh
when i was in middle school, i would sh a lot. i was also a biiig fanfic reader, and the stories i would look for involved sh where the mc would do it and get comfort/help from someone. im glad to say i dont do that anymore (except on verrry rare occasions, and i unfortunately do have other self destructive tendencies), but seeing as i have severe depression.. i still like stories that deal with suicidal characters as myself lol. no need to worry about me attempting anything as its too scary and ik i have people who love me, but yeah its just a comfort thing
Lots of people have mentioned that people may read about sa because they unfortunately relate to it or because SA just is sadly a part of our society. Another thing is SA kinks or fantasy can be a way that people who have been shamed or who's sexuality has been represed can experience sexual fantasies without shame or guilt. For example, if a girl has been told over and over again that she shouldn't enjoy sex and that sex is shameful she may fantasize about a scenario where she was not at fault for the sexual encounter. In fact the fact that the Dad in the first story immediately shamed the daughter may explain why she was reading the fanfiction in the first place. This doesn't mean the people who fantasize about sa actually want to be SA'd.
Good point. I think it’s also worth noting that SA involves a power imbalance, and people can be into that for the same reason a lot of people are into S&M. The desire for control or the desire for no control. There are a lot of psychological reasons for why people might be drawn to that
AO3 isn't primarily there for smut, lots of the fics on there have no smut at all. It's just an open forum for people to write fiction and post it, so a huge range of what kind of stories you can find on there.
As a kid I read a lot of questionable books, including true life books on child abuse. My Mum even bought me the series of them! Lots of horror films and psychology thrillers are peoples favourite films, people seem to look at it differently if you're reading those kind of stories in words though for some reason...
Thank you for mentioning that AO3 isn't exclusively smutty
Yeah, you gotta look for it and there's a reason for tags to exist there - so that people can read smut if they want, or avoid it if they want. There's more than enough stories there that you can't say it's a smut site. XD
This!! They did touch on it. It just makes me feel old when people demote it to just smut - the whole reason there is more smut is because it is an ARCHIVE. So many sites purged smut and explicit fanfics with no warning and out of the blue, of course the one place that promises to never do that will have a high smut content.
It's a 'back in my day' feeling every time someone tries to say AO3 should be policed. AO3 SPOILS us with tags, it is such a wonderful step forward from what fics used to be.
@@bf8076I love the way you wrote that. AO3 has an excellent tagging and filtering system.
Also Dead Dove tags exist for a reason, so people need to curate their own experience.
I don't like the pearl clutching that goes on about fanfiction.
As soon as the dad said he intended to break his infant from crying, that’s when I start feeling like “LEAVE. NOW.” I know it’s not that simple or easy, but those are frightening words, and I think worth asking… what if he DOES *break* that baby- if not physically, emotionally. He sounds on the edge of shaking that baby already.
OP in story 5 knows he's the AH because he omitted that his wife is pregnant in his original post. He skirted around it because he knows he will get flamed, and rightfully so.
13:50 Josh is right. For some people it is cathartic and helps them process things. For some people it's just a bizarre kink. I don't like it because of past trauma, but I won't deny that there are people who use it as a tool to soothe themselves.
I am glad you guys revealed that the fanfic in this first story was a House of the Dragons fanfic. I remember some commenter bringing up how people watch that show and it has themes like what the fic consisted of, then the OP revealed that was the fandom the fic was for.
So for the reading that had SA in it:
1. I read a lot of it when I was a kid as it's literally in most things you read. I didn't realize it wasn't normal/okay till I was older if that makes sense. A conversation needs to be has with the kid just to make sure they know it's not okay for real life.
2. Books aren't real! If you like content but know it's harmful to do in real life I think that's fine. Lots of us watch porn that literally can't or shouldn't happen in real life, if you can separate fantasy from what should happen in real life... Idk a lot of what gets people off doesn't make sense imo lol
Right - I was reading VC Andrews when I was in middle school lol. Definitely not appropriate material for a kid but the kid in this story was 17 and the dad could've just NOT snooped.
forreal, what happens in a book isn't gonna hurt anyone.
50:15 at 38 weeks she can have that baby at pretty much any time. 40 weeks is full term but giving birth at even 36 or 37 weeks isn't really out of the range of normal.
22:15 men like this do not get better, they are narcissists, ALSO anyone who uses the word ‘break’ in reference to children should be investigated because you’d probably find crimes. That guys an abuser.
So I’m curious if the guy who hid the fact his wife is 38 weeks pregnant is also hiding the fact she’s on bedrest. My mom was on light duty and then bedrest starting at like 6 or 7 months with me.
Anyway, he definitely should just marry his mom or sister if he’s so into it.
My ao3 history is between me and God and eventually my best friend who will delete my history once I die
I feel this so much, taking my AO3 history to my grave. 😂
The way I fucking scream-laughed when it was ao3 on the phone 😂😂😂 same, girl
Okay, as someone who reads a lot and talks to a lot of people who love to read and even some who love to write. From what I've heard of people (and know from my own experience) a lot of people write about SA, not because they enjoy it but because it happens a lot and both writing about it and reading about it can be very cathartic in lots of ways. For example, reading a story in which the main character, the character you're supposed to relate to, goes through trauma similar to trauma you went through it makes the story and character more relatable. Also, I think a lot of people who got SA'd feel like it's their own fault in a way and it makes them feel ashamed, so reading about other experiences of it (both real life and fiction) helps make them feel less ashamed and possibly help make the reader feel less like it's their own fault. This is just from what I've observed, if someone else has like another idea or other experiences I'd like to hear them though
Exactly!! It's like "if I can see the character as a victim, and I lived through a similar experience, than I can realise that I didn't deserve/cause it, but I was a victim too". I feel it's easier to feel empathy for a 3rd person than towards yourself
@zoubidoubidoubadoum5393 Yeah exactly!
So much this. I found a book thru a reading project in high school that got me thru some shit and that author writes books about slightly rougher topics[in a respectful way] to do just that honestly
I was sad to see it banned in another school district like 2 yrs ago cause what if another hs student needs to read that to help them the same way it helped me
As someone who reads fanfic and often reads stories that have dark themes it is most often a form of coping in a way. It makes me feel validated with the emotions I experience. I feel comforted when my favorite characters admit to feeling the same way. It helps to read about my favorite characters saying what I want or need to hear. The dad is TA. He could have started a conversation with her and see if there was anything she wanted to speak of and then talking to OP to form a game plan of how to approach this conversation with their daughter.
I think in the second story, op said to him not to bring bad energy and stuff, because she knew his character. She knew that he always pick up on her and demoralize her. I think maybe she thought that with a kid, he would change
The tattoo story is *magnificent* and i wanna buy OP a beer to make up for the one they spat out when they saw this woman's ink
11:48 Seriously!?! It was a HOTD fan fic??? OMG, this dad is something else!!
Another thing about the wedding story is the friends OP mentioned were initially her husband’s friends, she in the comments says that she needs to get own friends.
The last story made my day. The non-Chinese tattoo artist is my hero!
Any one else a fan of Sean's "Whoa" multiple times in the episodes?
I came here to comment about that, especially during story 4 😂
For the sister who's dealing with Jess and Lina- Jess is not her best friend. I have a best friend - we wont even watch an episode of a show without eachother. If one drops off on the show, we'll ask if we can watch it without eachother. Tell her. The young sister will have to learn her lesson, and the older sister can be free - because I guarantee this is NOT the first time Jeff has strayed. Xxxx
32:16 this woman put her sisters husband’s baby in her uterus, but loves her too much to break up their friendship/families
First story: SA is a common theme in a lot of movies and shows (especially with male directors it's a pattern) and it happens to so many people (especially those perceived as women!) in real life. My first move would've been to ask if it happened to OP's kid. Now OP's kid knows that, if anything like that ever happens, OP's husband is not a safe person to talk to.
SA is a somewhat common thing in many YA books, usually at least in those I've read, it's a cautionary tale, tips on how to avoid it and/or what to do if it happens to you. It kind of shines light on it, when many people don't want to talk about it.
I feel so bad for the daughter in the first story, I would've been horrified if my parents found fanfics I read (or well, still read tbh) as a horny and explorative teenager.😵💫
It's honestly so tiring to see ADULTS argue over whether reading/consuming "problematic" material is okay, as if people haven't been doing that basically since the dawn of time (just see some of the oldest myths and fairytales). The beauty of fiction is that we get to explore things that would not work in our reality, and sometimes those things include toxic situations of fantasies.
What comes to teenagers consuming dark sexual content, personally I wouldn't find that too concerning as long as it's not the only form of said content they consume. It might just be morbid curiosity and a safe outlet for them to process that things like that (unfortunately) exist.
Sean talking about manacled on reddit on wiki is the wildest crossover ever
The new dad sounds like my ex when my son was born. Suffice it to say I left his ass and raised my son on my own.
As a fellow mom, I thank you for getting your kid away from that unsafe space and situation even if you had to go though so much (I can only imagine) by raising him alone
Much love ❤
@@debiday 🥰
The father that invaded his daughters privacy is an AH. He went way over the line when HE snooped in her phone.
sean knowing about manacled is sooooo crazy to me lmfaoo
That last story is wiiild 😂 tattoo artist knew what he did and said to himself "this is worth it"
As a parent, I’d be concerned if my 16 year old daughter was reading graphic SA stories (because it’s really dark & maybe she’s trying to understand what might have happened to her).
But I wouldn’t have ever yelled at her and shamed her. I would have wanted her to be able to come to me and discuss things (how SA is not ok in relationships, explain kinks, etc).
When Josh mentioned hockey I thought he said who gives a Puck😂🤦🏽♀️. You guys are running off on me😊
The picture for these videos just gets better and better..
VIDEO IDEA!!!! Behind the scenes while you guys do your photo shoots hahaha
I really need to see the making of Sean’s picture here lol
I'm almost 49 and have 4 kids, two in early teens, two adult. Never ever once ever have I evr snooped their shit. IMO it's bad parenting that comes from being excessively controlling and bad at the actual parenting part. If you have an open policy relationship with your kids they will come to you with anything, be it hard, emotional, mistakes or anything, you simply need to not be a judgemental POS to make this possible and very much practiced in a family. Regardless of problems, my kids can and DO tell me anything in every circumstance without worry or complications they come to me and will tell me or confess or discuss the thing at hand. If you act like a control freak or you judge them, they will not come to you, why would they!?
13:32 It’s not only the comfort thing, saying that as an SA survivor. But people also have stuff like dub-con (dubious consent) or con-noncon (consensual non consent) kinks. I’m not one to kink shame, if you like it then you like it, but please note! If you do read or attempt to try out these kinks do so safely & do lots of research BEFORE getting into it!
Story 1:
Josh is very right; reading/writing SA content for some people can be very cathartic, either as a manner of managing fear of a possibility or as coping with a traumatic experience. For some people it's just a kink (that I hope they never act on). However, in that situation, where a parent finds their teenage kid reading/writing SA content... I'd be very concerned -- it may be indicative that they may be seeking a coping mechanism for something they themselves were a victim of. If they aren't a victim (thank goodness), and they're reading it for pleasure, it's important that they understand that SA isn't acceptable.
I have a misspelled German word on the back of my neck... I used to be decent in reading & writing it, and was SO sure I had it correct that I didn't even double check it! 😂😂😂. Teenage hubris.
About the first story: I enjoy reading webnovels with that kind of extreme subject sometimes because of the character development afterwards. I like stories where the MC has had a tough life, still trying their best and maybe now hitting rock bottom only for the Male Lead to swoop in and rescue them. I also enjoy when he has a loving family and they just all gather around the Main character and nurture them. Because that's comforting to me as someone who has been through some sh*t and didn't have that kind of family life.
It could also just be a kink as others have said or a way to enjoy those subjects when they've always been taught that it's shameful.
Definitely not as big of a red flag to me, because it's fiction. I think taking this as an immediate "my child is a danger to society" is the same as calling a GTA gamer violent.
I do think the dad should have talked to his wife and let her have a conversation with their daughter just to make sure she's doing ok. Everything beyond that was just too much.
Hearing Manacled referenced is not something I expected lol
Uh, just for the record, AO3 is NOT a smut website. It's a site for posting fanfiction, and some of that is smut, but a good majority is wholesome, cute, funny, cool fanfiction. There's all levels and all types of stories written there - sexual-centric stories are part of that, but the purpose of the site is not and never has been smut. If it were, it wouldn't have tags to allow the exclusion of it, after all.
Sorry, just touchy about this subject since I've been looked at oddly by a lot of people just for saying I've read fanfics before - a lot of people seem to think the only ones in existence are heavy in sexual content but that's honestly not true. A lot of great fanfics exist out there, with little-to-no smut. I'm not saying there isn't any, but you do gotta specifically look for it if you want to read it.
i had to come over to youtube from listening to the podcast just to see the reaction that caused the huge crash sound after it was revealed that the wife was on maternity leave
I think I can provide some helpful insight based on past and ongoing trends and also my own experiences growing up.
When you're very young, you idealize a lot, which is reflected in YA media. It particularly affects young women/females in heterosexual relationships. As far as their roles, expectations of their partners, themselves as individuals and partners, their ideas of what love and relationships should be, etc. One prevalent characteristic that I noticed becomes heavily 'idealized,' (which I also did when I was much younger) is how much the relationship is tested, usually on the female partner's side. Besides 3rd party interferences (parental disapproval, etc.), it's often the male partner that doing through a series of actions that involves neglect, aggression, and even violence. The justification usually being that he grew up without love, doesn't how to love or show love, etc., but that the love, patience, and kindness of a (usually) inexperienced, virginal aka pure (blegh) young female will show him the light and either bring out his innate goodness or transform him entirely.
To a certain extent, at least, I think we still indulge in this idea when we're older. But, ideally by now, we are mature and knowledgeable enough to realize that the possibilities and outcomes in the fictional realm don't equate to RL and make sure no one in real life is deluded or deceived by these romanticized scenarios in fiction and end up getting harmed as a result.
While ideas like SA, violence, and other forms of hardships are alarming, I think it comforts viewers/readers to be transported and get temporarily lost in a world where, no matter how many bad things happen to you and how much they hurt you, it leads to you ultimately being vindicated, rewarded, and/or being given some sort of effective closure for all your heartache and tragedy. Something which we sadly have to often go without in reality.
These ideas have persisted throughout time btw. Older examples include The Sheik(film series and novels), the Dollanganger series, Luke and Laura from "General Hospital," Hana Yori Dango/Boys Over Flowers manga/various drama adaptations. There's even classic literary examples that include 'Byronic heroes' (literary term for these kind... "Troubled"(to say the least) male love interests) like Rochester from Jane Eyre, Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights, etc.
Also, these tropes aren't limited to heterosexual relationships. This is also happens a lot in BL(Boys Love) media as well. Part of the fascination may be that there are elements of aggression and even violence that seem to be more accepted in a testosterone-filled relationships as opposed to hetero relations. Aside from that, But the main consumers of this genre still tends to be women/females. So, the dynamics described from prior paragraphs still persist and have similar effects on the (often) hetero female audience.
Anyway, this is just a condensed version. I'm sure there is much more to it than the above .Hope it provides some insight/clarity to ya'lls discussion and understanding!
PS: SEAN!!! You would be NOT be wrong for being angry if your heterosexual son is consuming content promoting violence! When females/women consume fiction with violence in it, they're often seeing themselves through the lens of the female character/victims and so they can be given the benefit of a doubt that they're not going to harm anybody (make sure they're knowledgeable enough to avoid harm for themselves, but that's a different discussion). Whereas heterosexual guys often see themselves through the POV of the aggressive/violent male characters and *may* be influenced by them to treat female/women that way.
As far as approach, don't jump to conclusions and act on undue assumptions. At the very least be sure you know the boy's intentions before formulating definite opinions and actions.
Also, I'm so used to guys saying "baby girl" in a creepy way. It's so sweet and comforting to hear John say it in a concerned, loving, non-sexual way. ^^
For the last story, thats exactly why ill NEVER get a tattoo in another language
Story 2: I used to write stories when I was a teen. Very, VERY vanilla (like, a kiss at the end). It was the 80's, so way before social media. But they were private, just for me. Until they started disappearing. My father complimented me on a poem I wrote, and that's when I knew he was finding and reading my stories. I stopped writing then and there, and didn't start again until I was in my late 20's and lived 3,000 miles away.
The crazy thing is that both of my parents are/were writers (my father passed in 2008) and wanted my brother and I to follow in their footsteps. Neither of us did.
He violated my privacy in a terrible way, something that happened on a regular basis. And he later wondered why I never confiided in him.
Unless OP's husband wants to truly destroy his relationship with their daughter, he'd better apologize profusely, promise to NEVER do it again, and keep that promise. Even then, it might not be enough. His calling her disgusting is going to stay with her for a long time. Shaming our kids is what's disgusting.
Story 3: OP is NTA. But her husband is, and she needs to get herself and her son away from him.
Story 4: OP needs to tell her sister. Jeff will continue to cheat on her with other women if he knows he can get away with it. And Lina needs to know what her husband and sister have done. And the kids need to know, as well. And to know that its unacceptable.
"Wife won't do housework": I really hope OP's wife takes the baby and goes far, far away. OP will end up screwing up that child.
The double take I did when I heard my name xD That's also why I tell my non-Swedish friends to just say Lily, as it's easier. Granted Lina, is just like how you'd say Angelina.
Hold up... My sister is call Jess (Jessica).... Good thing the ages are wrong, otherwise I'd have to check on our third sister to see what the f is going on xD
I also don't have a husband.
Oh, at least where I live in Europe, where Lina and Lena are pretty common names, here's the difference for us. Li - like you'd say Angelina. Le - like you'd say Leopard
For the SA in fanfics and books part, to me i find weird comfort that I can somewhat control the situation or that I am not helpless. A few of my friend who went through SA in real life read those types of fanfics for those exact reasons. It's a way of coping, so to speak
I vote that John and Sean should be in agreement before the story. Let them battle it out until they agree on one answer. If they are wrong they get a point. But if they get all right Josh gets point.
4:25 Hey, HEY!!!!!................that may be true, but it's not ALL smut. There are decent fanfics there.
Re: john’s slob on my knob anecdote. I’ve lived in France a few times & I heard completely uncensored rap over the speakers at numerous places like cafes. To date, my favorite song I heard uncensored was bodak yellow by cardi b in a cafe & I had the same reaction as John 😂😂😂
That famous Draco and Hermione fanfic is a Handmaids Tale retelling- that’s why there’s ess-a. Please don’t misunderstand, it was not written to be enjoyable.
There are tons of free translation apps that will translate when you take a picture of it. If you are getting a tattoo in a language you can’t read maybe double check what it says using an app before they start tattooing
speaking as a wasian (chinese) that barely speaks or reads mandarin, you truly see some insane shit written on (mainly white) people's bodies and passed off as ancient proverbs or whatever. my favorites are nonsensical things like 北京烤鸭 (peking duck) and the offensive stuff like 操你吗 (have fun googling that one).
like you said though, the cultural ignorance goes both ways, so i guess you can't be too upset lol. if you ever want a good laugh, go and look up kpop idols wearing clothing with english words on it. it's like the absurd slogans and out of context buzz words you'd see on forever 21 shirts, but wayyy worse, with tons of random english words and extremely explicit messages. lots of stuff that would never pass broadcasting standards and get them cancelled if it were written in hangul haha.
Why are these people settling for this bollocks! Are these relationships worth it?
The only way I would get another language tattooed on me is if I understood it myself, like right now I'm learning Japanese when I get more confident and comfortable with the language I may get something tattooed for my mom. She lived in Japan when she was younger and loved it. She's the reason why I'm so interested in learning.
There are a lot of popular tiktok books that glorify sa and abusive relationships. "I can fix him"
This is different from violent video games for sure just because it is so normalised and even made to be romantic 'omg he loves her so much even though he struggles'
John is killing it with these deepfake thumbnails.😭😭
Story 1 is giving me flashbacks to when I was 15 and my dad found the Wattpad One Direction fan fiction that I was reading on my computer search history 🫣
what you read does not define your character! I've been a slasher/horror fan since I was a kid and I'm also the wimpiest, least violent person alive lol The kid is 17, she should get to read fucked up fanfic and she's definitely owed an apology
8 mo months?? 😂 guys! 38wks is 9mos and 2wks! 9 mos is 36wks. Full gestation is 10 mos or 40wks
On fan fiction: If I'm overwhelmed or very sad, it helps me to read fan fiction and listen to music that match that mood because I can connect that emotion to the flow of that story or that song's lyrics and know there will be resolution at the end instead of feeling like I will never come out of that overwhelmed or sad state. Do note, some posted stories are just those dark scenes but there's also full stories that include the lead up to the scene and/or the fallout and journey to healing after.
I can understand accidentally opening the fic, active tabs don't go away unless you close the tab itself but that reaction was not good. OP was going through daughter's phone the WHOLE DAY? He wasn't still raging when the wife came home? Bet daughter regrets trusting him enough to not have one or to give it to him. Missed opportunity to be a Ned Stark, chose to be the Shame-lady.
Story number 3. Wife would have been 16!!!!!! when her first kid was born. Yeah that's very young, still don't know how old the husband is/would have been...
I know I had to double check the ages omg.
Watching this as a Ravens fan feels a little special today lol
Hi. Fellow Filipino right here. I just wany to correct John that the proper term is Baybayin and not Alibata. Apparently one person in 1921 "noticed" that Arabic script and Baybayin were "similar" but they were not and hence the biggest fake news was born. Even the term Alibata was not really Filipino as it was composed arabic letters Alif, Ba, and Ta. Baybayin was the right term because it was mentioned in publications dating back to the Spanish Colonization.
The slight fumble is okay because there a lot of people here in the PH still get confused.
loving the call out! appreciate the education with this. 😊
On story 5: there is likely a reason she’s off work while still pregnant (ex. Bed rest orders) it’s already difficult to be heavily pregnant but if there’s something else too it would be worse
49:10 I was waiting for this! lol!
On the two sisters and husband story it also needs to be taken into consideration that the sister and husband were having unprotected sex because of the miscarriage. If nothing else this is enough to tell her.
Story 1: I think dad was snooping on purpose. He’s in the wrong and needs to apologize. She is also 17 so I feel like reading smut is pretty normal. The SA part he could’ve just asked instead yelling.
Story 2: girly pop RUN. Your husband is super controlling.
Story 5: she’s full term and could give birth at any moment. She probably is off work because she’s on bed rest. YOUR FAMILY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR PREGNANT WIFE. He sucks and he’s an AH.
I read Ao3 daily and none of it is smut
The way I would have shouted turn the music back on when it first stopped
For that last story, even though she was a Karen and was racist, it doesn’t give the tattoo artist the right to do that. She should sue him, even though she was acting that way. Just kick her out. Now he’s liable for damages. Maybe even assault.
I still read on archive even though I thought I’d stop reading fanfics years ago. A lot of interesting are on the site, but I’ve stopped reading sa stories once I recognised that a lot of them were not only fetishised, but is a big problem in fanfics. Some “romances” start from it. I remember writing a story were a character was attacked by a werewolf and one of the commentators assumed she was sa’d, which I had to shoot down the very next chapter by addressing it in the notes. I also read a lot of those stories during my preteens, not understanding the severity and how it could mess up my perception on the world. Thankfully, I never got involved in anything sexually nor have I been sa’d, but I cannot deny that my mind has been exposed to things it shouldn’t have. The father could’ve instead asked the daughter if she’s okay, and encourage her to wait until she’s older to read those stories.
Story 1: Another aspect of reading about SA as a woman - many women, especially young women, have their sexuality suppressed to the point where they can't even allow themselves to enjoy it in their own minds. It might literally feel easier to fantasize about their romance SA:ing them because then then they are not the ones breaking their expected virtue of chastity. That is NOT the same as wanting to be SA:ed, as it's literally a fantasy they have full control over and the character is doing exactly what they want, but it simply removes their guilt for consenting. It wouldn't surprise me if she feels a compulsive need to be chaste if that's the reaction any sexuality on her part is met with. Poor kid.
i thought the wife in story 4 was gonna be depressed and op was being SO misunderstanding and gross about it, but SHES 8 MONTHS PREGNANT 💀💀??
There are A LOT of women who have dark sexual fantasies, it's very common, you don't have to be a victim to want to explore those topics. And fantasy doesn't translate to reality, just because you fantasize about something doesn't mean you'd be okay with it in real life.
On a trip to Barcelona I saw an elderly Asian woman wearing a pink t shirt with DADDY printed all over it in like 40 fonts. I was embarrassed for her
Also the amount of SA in literature could be compared to the insane amount in porn
some people enjoy taboo topics in their fanfiction because its a safe space to have a kink and read about a role play basically.
On reading SA smut: I recommend contrapoints' video on twilight. They do an excellent, well-researched, and entertaining deep dive into the psychology/sociology/etc behind non-consent in media
NTA. I would want to know if that's what my tattoo said THAT. Now, she can get a cover-up tattoo. 🤷🏽♀️
Oh man I've had 5 kids. 2 of those I had anemia. The first anemic pregnancy, I didn't know until the day I gave birth. So annoying! I could barely get off the couch for the last month. So even in the same woman energy levels and capacity is so different between pregnancies. My last pregnancy was actually my easiest because she was my smallest baby and I didn't get the crippling hip pain walking or trying to roll over. lol.
That dad definitely liked that fic.
the last one is especially funny bc hangul (korean characters) and hanzi (chinese characters) dont even look remotely alike so she rlly did no research at all if she looked at it and was like "yup thats chinese"
I found Ao3 in 9th grade so I was about 14. Mom found out and threw a fit, Dad laughed and said she read the same shit and worse 😂. Not even a year later my phone died by way of the battery exploding and I read Ao3 On Dad's phone 😅
As an avid fanfic reader who has been in a situation like this i can confidently say that dad is the asshole and potentially scarred his daughter for life. My step dad asked me if i was a devil worshiper because of the dark topics in the media i was consuming. Fanfiction, books, or just media in general can be a learning tool for children especially with real world or dark topics your parents don't teach you about. To a kid a any age this could just be them soaking up knowledge on the topics or learning and resonating with them because they went through it. If the kid thinks these dark scenarios are ok then it's a time for concern but you shouldn't get made at nor curse them to the point of calling them disgusting when all they're doing is learning about a serious topic through fan made media of something they like.
I was listening to the Patreon video but had to come to yt to see the reactions to story 5😂
old video but i want to add that teenagers (especially girls) commonly explore these topics despite the taboos. sex and assault are new, unknown worlds for these teens and rape culture is so prevelant than many young girls are tought to normalise these things. at most, therapy may be an option for her to ensure she is safe and there isnt an underlying issue (such as trauma), but punishing her or even oushing her into therapy she isnt open to will further traumatise hwr regardless
4:26 💀
1st story. You also have to consider the fantasy of it. Some people are into cnc
About the last story and about Asians having English words on their clothes that are nonsense or vulgar, I bought shoes from temu last year. Super cheap shoes from china. Anyway, they have misspelled stuff all over it like “saktebard” and a few random strings of vowels and consonants. I love it. I think it’s so funny.
So I'm not really into SA in my fiction, but I feel for most people who do read it falls under the same category as most people who watch stuff with a lot of violence or crime - stuff you wouldn't approve of happening IRL but it hits different in fiction. Are there people who are a little TOO into it and it feels like a potential red flag? Yeah, definitely - but that's like a very very tiny minority of people into that kind of content.
Plus in context of the story, let's face it: it's a teenage girl. My experience with teenagers and SA topics is that they are just not mature enough to fully comprehend how awful SA is if they haven't been personally affected by it - so they tend to be even more blasé about it in fiction than adults are. Obviously important to teach teens that SA is very much wrong, but I think it's one of those where the emotional understanding probably won't fully sink in until later.
Story three with Lina, Jess and Jeff… it almost might make you the asshole if you don't tell her. Like I think, John said, if people kept it from me and knew and let me be the fool and didn't tell me and reveal it and protect me because if you tell her you are protecting her from future things that go on with cheating STDs different things, and she just needs to know who is who the sister who is supposedly her best friend isn't her best friend because her best friend would not behave that way, so egregiously
when is it snooping, and when is it keeping tabs on what your children are doing to make sure they are being safe\in need of professional help?
Well, theres nothing qrong with wanting to keep tabs or checking in on your children, so the parent/parents should get life360 or if possible, get the same phones or some other kind of app to check their locations ect, then they should talk to each other and the children about an open door policy so to speak. Basically, they can tell the children that if they ever have a problem, an issue, questions ect, that they can always come to either one or both of the parents without the fear of being judged, ridiculed or dismissed and that they are the people the children can rely on the most, that their home is their safe haven and that no matter what time, day or age it is, that they'll always be there for them. They should also be checking up on them daily l, encouraging them to open up and have conversations, making sure they know they're loved, protected and that a parents love is unconditional, then maybe they can all sit down and come up with a game plan to where all of them can check in with each other and keep tabs so to speak, in a safe, caring way without being seen as overbearing or controlling. This is what my parents did for me and my siblings heck even some of my best friends and their families and we still do it to this day! I'm sorry for the long rant and being late to reply just wanted to give an answer to your question. Hope your well fellow wikimaniac!
Catching back up. My algorithm must be messed up. Ive been binging for a couple months now. I saw the first new year video, and then i never got any more notifications. Fuck RUclips
You guys rock though
AO3 isn't just smut, there are loads of un-smutty stories.
Case Keenum Houston legend