Story 4 though: I'll have to disagree with you guys on how bad the woman is. It doesn't matter that she was 14 when she met him and developed an obsession, but that she maintained and built her entire life around "getting him" over so many many many years. The manipulation levels are off the charts. Unhinged behaviour. I rarely pull the "what if the genders were different" card, but on this one... what if the guy had orchestrated trapping her into a marriage over several years, lying and manipulating everyone in her family just to "get her". And like her comments after that he must've twisted the story he told to his family as if running a years long intimate con wouldn't be enough to do that? She doesn't regret the manipulation. She doesn't see what she did was wrong. She just regrets the wasted effort.
Yeah, this was a long con 7 years in the making. Every single established relationship wasn't genuine and we're only a means to an end. I feel so sorry for E and his younger brother for entering what they thought was genuine relationships only to be a chess piece in OP's meticulous quest of "obtaining" E. It even makes me doubt OP's feelings towards E at this point because is she really in love with E or is he just a "prize" for her to win?
This was giving "You" stalker vibes. People can be creepy and do wrong things regardless of age. You're right that her continuing to maintain this isn't right. Her laughing about too?? Runnnnn
Thank you!! I hate doing the whole what if the genders were swapped but like its true if this was a dude they'd be telling her to get a restraining order Dude should run fast and far and get a restraining order Also! At 14 i knew better than STALK people. At 14 yes you are a child but you should know better
@@sanctuary_polaris Agreed, the reality is as simple as this "if the roles were reversed" he'd be hanged, drawn and quartered. She had the nerve to say SHE felt betrayed when he left her manipulative ass😂
The stalking one is 100% a creep for me and I'm glad the husband got away from her. Even if she started it as a teen who maybe didn't know any better, she CONTINUED it for years and was way too calculating and manipulative. I feel that there's a bit of double standard where people tend to let girls/women get away with things like this easier, because let's face it: if the genders were reversed, EVERYONE would be calling op a sick creep.😬
Story 4 creeped me out from how little emotions there were on her post 😭 She chose her husband like he's a f-ing item at the store that's kinda hard to reach 😭
Story #4 is wild. I was once a weird 14 year old who probably got a little too into matching my personality to the guy I had a crush on but I definitely grew out of it. I feel like it was great that she felt guilty and wanted to come clean but it's terrifying how quick she changed in her update. It's like she manipulated the audience to think this wasn't that bad, but the moment he tricked her, she revealed her true colors. Also, Josh definitely gives Jon Snow vibes.
That second story made me pissed. That poor boy now has to live with the fact that one side of his family doesn’t accept the other half. That mom must feel awful for not only never realizing this but having to bring her child as well into that environment. Totally don’t blame the mom whatsoever. Dad needs to grow a spine
That poor kid his dad didn't deny that the son being part mexican is embarrassing. Kids aren't stupid he will absolutely know what his dad being silent and not comforting him meant. The dad was actively racist by not denying or correcting his mom when his son was hurt and the kid now has the negative affect of the person who is supposed to love him being racist and deeply hurting him. I totally agree with Jon divorce is absolutely called for.
Story 4 reminds me of How I Met Your Mother Season 8 Ep 15. Ted's Dobler or Dahmer" theory; an act is only charming if the recipient finds it charming, making it "Dobler" (a reference to Lloyd Dobler in Say Anything...), but if the recipient is creeped out by it, it is "Dahmer.
I just wanted to say how much I love your podcast. Last year my daughter recommended it to me. I became a fan pretty quickly. I'm a three-time cancer survivor. Last Summer I found out that my lung cancer had returned. I had to undergo radiation and chemotherapy, and your podcast was what I listened to during my chemotherapy. I'm now undergoing immunotherapy for the next nine months. Still listening and still fighting. I felt compelled to write to let you know how much I enjoy your show. You guys are so funny and so insightful. And you honestly kept my spirits up during a rather difficult time. I can't tell you how much I appreciate that. I've had conversations with my daughter, who is also a fan. We can't really decide who's our favorite because we love you all. My daughter works with a number of men and she said that work would be so much better if she worked with guys like y'all. You are funny, smart, respectful, and truly caring people. It's sad to say that's rare among men, but you do give me hope that there are more men out there like you. John, Josh and Sean, keep doing what you do. Much love from this Dragonslayer mom!
Related to Story 4: My current partner fabricated some things about their life when we met due to personal issues they were going through. Once our relationship started and got really serious, they felt trapped and absolutely wrecked by guilt about the fabrication. They eventually told me, and I was devastated, but with lots of conversations and understanding about why they lied and why they kept it from me for so long, I was able to move on and forgive them for it. However, OP doesnt feel guilty like they did, she feels proud and feels like it was "worth it", she did it out of pure selfishness and was angry when she didnt get the reaction she wanted. Honestly horrific
Story 2: as a European it's rather embarrassing to only speak one language. If you aren't very old and school has been ages ago, it means you didn't pay attention at school or have a learning disability (no reason to be ashamed either, but I hope you get my point). No one would ever think it's embarrassing to speak a second language, probably not even the racist people (unfortunately there are some of them everywhere). My parents are both German so I had to learn new languages in school and as an adult. I would have loved to be raised bilingual.
The story with the embarrassed grandma upset me. Let your grandson be able to be himself. Not just part of himself when he is around you. It's hard to believe that you don't realize that you are hindering the relationship with your grandson because you won't accept him as a whole. His mother is Mexican and regardless of her complexion, speaking Spanish is what her family does and is a big part of her culture. What is embarrassing is this grandma being this closed minded.
Hello from Spain! Story 2 though: My husband always says that the more lenguages you know more internet is open to you! (among as you said work and other...) I speak spanish(I'm from Spain) english and french. I work for a French company in a international project with people from brazil, uk and France. Super useful to know more than 1 languages, even if english is present on lots of countries, so it is spanish and french, I wish I know more hehe
Love the new intro!! As for the stockholm syndrome bit: simply put, it's not a real thing. It doesn't exist (scientifically speaking; a science podcast called "The Sci Guys" did an episode about it, I recommend listening to that episode if you're interested to know more). Yes, the situations where a lot of people use the term for do exist (people stuck in abusive situations, having been manipulated or groomed to accept/ignore the abuse), but in terms of where the term came from (and how that situation hasn't repeated the same), it doesn't qualify. Technically speaking, I think it could be used in "casual" speech/language to refer to these types of abusive situations, I just personally am not a fan of people using the term due to it continuing the misconception of the whole thing.
Yep, this exactly. The true story of how the term 'stockholm syndrome' was coined is actually pretty horrific. It was really just a way to discredit the victims in the situation (most notably Kristin Enmark), who were upset at how the police handled the situation and actively put them in more danger. The psychiatrist that came up with 'stockholm syndrome' had NEVER EVEN MET HER. It's NOT a real diagnosis; it doesn't exist in the DSM and there are no actual diagnostic criteria for it.
I got terrified by Story 3. When I was young, this happened to me (except they found the site I did writing on). Except they were not supporting me; they were reading my stuff out loud and laughing at it. I never really recovered tbh.
My husband told me that if he knew I was Mexican he wouldn’t have dated me. He thought I was a REALLY REALLY tanned white girl. 😑 like what? Im so tanned that our daughter thought I was black and ppl always think I’m half. Like how did he get it so wrong?! lol His mom….ugh she’s even worse. My daughter wanted a black baby doll for Xmas and she tried convincing her to get a baby that “looked like her”! Though my daughter is 1/2 white/Mexi she had blonde hair and blue eyes a the the time this happened (5yrs old).
During story 3, I think you’re referencing the movie You’ve Got Mail with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks Edit* Oops I was wrong, it’s actually Sleepless in Seattle. Which funnily enough also stars Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks lol
Story 2: I would say therapy and no contact with the MIL. If she finds her grandson being bilingual to be embarrassing, she doesn’t need to be part of his life.
The last one kinda reminds me of that crazy girl from how I met your mother.... yk? The blonde one... In the show they said the line between a cute gesture and borderline stalking was slim and I agree, but dude, this woman crossed it. She completely manipulated him and when she befriended his brother because of him, it was over. That man should be glad to be rid of her crazy ass
Being a wexican, I really related to the Spanish speaking story. My dad's side is Mexican & my mom's is white & some of my mom's family have always been weird about my dad, esp since he's brown. It's easier for me & my sibs bc we're light skinned, but I can't help feeling that the racist ones' love for us is dependent on how much we fit into their white box. Speaking Spanish, practicing our traditions, is "weird" for them. Or even just in general the way the US is about learning other languages. There's a real advantage in several ways to being bi/multilingual & many people don't recognize that
Another great episode guys been a fan for almost 2 years now recently joined the sub reddit as well a few months back and shared a personal story of mine I'd love if you guys talked about it on the podcast someday because I'd really like your takes on it
Beauty and the Beast is NOT a representation of Stockholm Syndrome. Stockholm Syndrome isn't you being brainwashed or something. It's when you feel empathy or can identify with you captor. Which of those two, empathy and identifying with, is "love" or brainwashing? The syndrome has been taken so far out of context that it's ridiculous. Kindly, a Swede.
Yall advocate for divorce super fast.... i never noticed until the second story but dang, calm down. If we never married anyone with racist relatives or messed up in their reaction to a relative, the dating pool would be painfully small, lol. Id rather hear your opinions on how they should deal with the problem that it would end peacefully for the two main characters.
speaking of therapists liking reddit on wiki; i recommend yall to EVERYONE i come across, (i have SO much respect for u 3 strangers♡) & so i recommended yall to my old therapist & i remember at the next visit she began w “i LOVE those guys that u told me abt! they are so funny!!” so u can actually say several therapists approve y’all 😂🫶🏼
The "I'll decide when I come back" (1st story) sounds to me like "I still want you as a plan B if things dont go as I wanted"
Story 4 though: I'll have to disagree with you guys on how bad the woman is. It doesn't matter that she was 14 when she met him and developed an obsession, but that she maintained and built her entire life around "getting him" over so many many many years. The manipulation levels are off the charts. Unhinged behaviour. I rarely pull the "what if the genders were different" card, but on this one... what if the guy had orchestrated trapping her into a marriage over several years, lying and manipulating everyone in her family just to "get her".
And like her comments after that he must've twisted the story he told to his family as if running a years long intimate con wouldn't be enough to do that? She doesn't regret the manipulation. She doesn't see what she did was wrong. She just regrets the wasted effort.
Yeah, this was a long con 7 years in the making. Every single established relationship wasn't genuine and we're only a means to an end. I feel so sorry for E and his younger brother for entering what they thought was genuine relationships only to be a chess piece in OP's meticulous quest of "obtaining" E. It even makes me doubt OP's feelings towards E at this point because is she really in love with E or is he just a "prize" for her to win?
This was giving "You" stalker vibes. People can be creepy and do wrong things regardless of age. You're right that her continuing to maintain this isn't right. Her laughing about too?? Runnnnn
It's the fact that once she was an adult, she still saw it through.
Thank you!! I hate doing the whole what if the genders were swapped but like its true if this was a dude they'd be telling her to get a restraining order
Dude should run fast and far and get a restraining order
Also! At 14 i knew better than STALK people. At 14 yes you are a child but you should know better
@@sanctuary_polaris Agreed, the reality is as simple as this "if the roles were reversed" he'd be hanged, drawn and quartered. She had the nerve to say SHE felt betrayed when he left her manipulative ass😂
Growing up bi-lingual (at least) is such a gift. 2nd story broke my heart.
The stalking one is 100% a creep for me and I'm glad the husband got away from her. Even if she started it as a teen who maybe didn't know any better, she CONTINUED it for years and was way too calculating and manipulative.
I feel that there's a bit of double standard where people tend to let girls/women get away with things like this easier, because let's face it: if the genders were reversed, EVERYONE would be calling op a sick creep.😬
Story 1 - that's abandonment. He has abandoned his family for another woman. Divorce is the only option. F that guy.
Story 4 creeped me out from how little emotions there were on her post 😭 She chose her husband like he's a f-ing item at the store that's kinda hard to reach 😭
1st story: OP says that he's coming back so there's a chance.
Is the chance in the room with us now??
Story #4 is wild. I was once a weird 14 year old who probably got a little too into matching my personality to the guy I had a crush on but I definitely grew out of it. I feel like it was great that she felt guilty and wanted to come clean but it's terrifying how quick she changed in her update. It's like she manipulated the audience to think this wasn't that bad, but the moment he tricked her, she revealed her true colors.
Also, Josh definitely gives Jon Snow vibes.
That second story made me pissed. That poor boy now has to live with the fact that one side of his family doesn’t accept the other half. That mom must feel awful for not only never realizing this but having to bring her child as well into that environment. Totally don’t blame the mom whatsoever. Dad needs to grow a spine
That poor kid his dad didn't deny that the son being part mexican is embarrassing. Kids aren't stupid he will absolutely know what his dad being silent and not comforting him meant. The dad was actively racist by not denying or correcting his mom when his son was hurt and the kid now has the negative affect of the person who is supposed to love him being racist and deeply hurting him. I totally agree with Jon divorce is absolutely called for.
@@koripeterson7310 I agree.. divorce would be my choice
Story 4 reminds me of How I Met Your Mother Season 8 Ep 15. Ted's Dobler or Dahmer" theory; an act is only charming if the recipient finds it charming, making it "Dobler" (a reference to Lloyd Dobler in Say Anything...), but if the recipient is creeped out by it, it is "Dahmer.
that girl needs help!!!
I just wanted to say how much I love your podcast. Last year my daughter recommended it to me. I became a fan pretty quickly. I'm a three-time cancer survivor. Last Summer I found out that my lung cancer had returned. I had to undergo radiation and chemotherapy, and your podcast was what I listened to during my chemotherapy. I'm now undergoing immunotherapy for the next nine months. Still listening and still fighting. I felt compelled to write to let you know how much I enjoy your show. You guys are so funny and so insightful. And you honestly kept my spirits up during a rather difficult time. I can't tell you how much I appreciate that. I've had conversations with my daughter, who is also a fan. We can't really decide who's our favorite because we love you all. My daughter works with a number of men and she said that work would be so much better if she worked with guys like y'all. You are funny, smart, respectful, and truly caring people. It's sad to say that's rare among men, but you do give me hope that there are more men out there like you. John, Josh and Sean, keep doing what you do. Much love from this Dragonslayer mom!
Related to Story 4:
My current partner fabricated some things about their life when we met due to personal issues they were going through. Once our relationship started and got really serious, they felt trapped and absolutely wrecked by guilt about the fabrication. They eventually told me, and I was devastated, but with lots of conversations and understanding about why they lied and why they kept it from me for so long, I was able to move on and forgive them for it.
However, OP doesnt feel guilty like they did, she feels proud and feels like it was "worth it", she did it out of pure selfishness and was angry when she didnt get the reaction she wanted. Honestly horrific
What a great start to my birthday week!!!!!!!!!!🎊 🎉
Happy birthday!!! 🎉🎉
@@RedditOnWiki thank you so much!!!!!
I love John saying pinche pendejo 😂♥️
Story 2: as a European it's rather embarrassing to only speak one language. If you aren't very old and school has been ages ago, it means you didn't pay attention at school or have a learning disability (no reason to be ashamed either, but I hope you get my point). No one would ever think it's embarrassing to speak a second language, probably not even the racist people (unfortunately there are some of them everywhere).
My parents are both German so I had to learn new languages in school and as an adult. I would have loved to be raised bilingual.
50:50 with all the rage comments I imagined Josh like Ross Geller from friends saying: "this isn't good for my rage"
Seans hurt face during the kitchen scene in the Spanish story is me af
Story 4: "Alexa, play Mastermind by Taylor Swift" 😂
Yassss new beginning! THANK YOU!!!!
The story with the embarrassed grandma upset me. Let your grandson be able to be himself. Not just part of himself when he is around you. It's hard to believe that you don't realize that you are hindering the relationship with your grandson because you won't accept him as a whole. His mother is Mexican and regardless of her complexion, speaking Spanish is what her family does and is a big part of her culture. What is embarrassing is this grandma being this closed minded.
Hello from Spain! Story 2 though: My husband always says that the more lenguages you know more internet is open to you! (among as you said work and other...) I speak spanish(I'm from Spain) english and french. I work for a French company in a international project with people from brazil, uk and France. Super useful to know more than 1 languages, even if english is present on lots of countries, so it is spanish and french, I wish I know more hehe
Op from story 4 needs to get her some Jesus and years of therapy.
She's just going to end up lusting after the Pastor or a divorced dad.
This is for Sean. Lol.
Boy 28 pursued girl 19.
For the older generation explanation of podcast: tell them you do a talk radio style show. It's how I introduced my mom to podcasts altogether.
Love the new intro!! As for the stockholm syndrome bit: simply put, it's not a real thing. It doesn't exist (scientifically speaking; a science podcast called "The Sci Guys" did an episode about it, I recommend listening to that episode if you're interested to know more). Yes, the situations where a lot of people use the term for do exist (people stuck in abusive situations, having been manipulated or groomed to accept/ignore the abuse), but in terms of where the term came from (and how that situation hasn't repeated the same), it doesn't qualify.
Technically speaking, I think it could be used in "casual" speech/language to refer to these types of abusive situations, I just personally am not a fan of people using the term due to it continuing the misconception of the whole thing.
Yep, this exactly. The true story of how the term 'stockholm syndrome' was coined is actually pretty horrific. It was really just a way to discredit the victims in the situation (most notably Kristin Enmark), who were upset at how the police handled the situation and actively put them in more danger. The psychiatrist that came up with 'stockholm syndrome' had NEVER EVEN MET HER. It's NOT a real diagnosis; it doesn't exist in the DSM and there are no actual diagnostic criteria for it.
I truly hope op from 1st story sees this 💔
I got terrified by Story 3. When I was young, this happened to me (except they found the site I did writing on). Except they were not supporting me; they were reading my stuff out loud and laughing at it. I never really recovered tbh.
That’s been my experience as well. I only feel comfortable around my parents
Love love love the new theme song!!! ❤
Story 4 OP gives we vibes of the lady from the King book, Misery, Anne Wilkes.
My husband told me that if he knew I was Mexican he wouldn’t have dated me. He thought I was a REALLY REALLY tanned white girl. 😑 like what? Im so tanned that our daughter thought I was black and ppl always think I’m half. Like how did he get it so wrong?! lol His mom….ugh she’s even worse. My daughter wanted a black baby doll for Xmas and she tried convincing her to get a baby that “looked like her”! Though my daughter is 1/2 white/Mexi she had blonde hair and blue eyes a the the time this happened (5yrs old).
I love that new intro! Super cool!!!
During story 3, I think you’re referencing the movie You’ve Got Mail with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks
Edit* Oops I was wrong, it’s actually Sleepless in Seattle. Which funnily enough also stars Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks lol
1:07:12 Brazilian cheese bread is called Pão de queijo
Story 2: I would say therapy and no contact with the MIL. If she finds her grandson being bilingual to be embarrassing, she doesn’t need to be part of his life.
The last one kinda reminds me of that crazy girl from how I met your mother.... yk? The blonde one... In the show they said the line between a cute gesture and borderline stalking was slim and I agree, but dude, this woman crossed it. She completely manipulated him and when she befriended his brother because of him, it was over. That man should be glad to be rid of her crazy ass
Being a wexican, I really related to the Spanish speaking story. My dad's side is Mexican & my mom's is white & some of my mom's family have always been weird about my dad, esp since he's brown. It's easier for me & my sibs bc we're light skinned, but I can't help feeling that the racist ones' love for us is dependent on how much we fit into their white box. Speaking Spanish, practicing our traditions, is "weird" for them. Or even just in general the way the US is about learning other languages. There's a real advantage in several ways to being bi/multilingual & many people don't recognize that
33 minutes in I think u mean the show You. But I’m unsure lol
Shouldn't those resolutions at the end have been resolu-Seans?
Sean is so handsome! Yay for the new ep
"... for a lady in Thailand."
*raises eyebrows*
Is it...? Is it a lady?
Another great episode guys been a fan for almost 2 years now recently joined the sub reddit as well a few months back and shared a personal story of mine I'd love if you guys talked about it on the podcast someday because I'd really like your takes on it
Beauty and the Beast is NOT a representation of Stockholm Syndrome. Stockholm Syndrome isn't you being brainwashed or something. It's when you feel empathy or can identify with you captor. Which of those two, empathy and identifying with, is "love" or brainwashing?
The syndrome has been taken so far out of context that it's ridiculous.
Kindly, a Swede.
19:31 Proof this one is fake then. Makes sense why the MIL was so direct
Yall advocate for divorce super fast.... i never noticed until the second story but dang, calm down. If we never married anyone with racist relatives or messed up in their reaction to a relative, the dating pool would be painfully small, lol. Id rather hear your opinions on how they should deal with the problem that it would end peacefully for the two main characters.
Why is there a new intro? GIVE ME THE OLD INTRO BACK
speaking of therapists liking reddit on wiki; i recommend yall to EVERYONE i come across, (i have SO much respect for u 3 strangers♡) & so i recommended yall to my old therapist & i remember at the next visit she began w “i LOVE those guys that u told me abt! they are so funny!!” so u can actually say several therapists approve y’all 😂🫶🏼
So early 🎉🎉🎉🎉!!! Just in time for my lunch break. @redditonwikki
i would love to see yall do a reddit story on tree law there are sooo many shocking stories on peoples lives getting racked bc of cutting down a tree!