The stalking one is 100% a creep for me and I'm glad the husband got away from her. Even if she started it as a teen who maybe didn't know any better, she CONTINUED it for years and was way too calculating and manipulative. I feel that there's a bit of double standard where people tend to let girls/women get away with things like this easier, because let's face it: if the genders were reversed, EVERYONE would be calling op a sick creep.😬
Yes, exactly! It's one thing to be infatuated, but this goes WAY beyond that. She literally calculated and manipulated everything to get to the point where they got married after college.
Story #4 is wild. I was once a weird 14 year old who probably got a little too into matching my personality to the guy I had a crush on but I definitely grew out of it. I feel like it was great that she felt guilty and wanted to come clean but it's terrifying how quick she changed in her update. It's like she manipulated the audience to think this wasn't that bad, but the moment he tricked her, she revealed her true colors. Also, Josh definitely gives Jon Snow vibes.
That second story made me pissed. That poor boy now has to live with the fact that one side of his family doesn’t accept the other half. That mom must feel awful for not only never realizing this but having to bring her child as well into that environment. Totally don’t blame the mom whatsoever. Dad needs to grow a spine
That poor kid his dad didn't deny that the son being part mexican is embarrassing. Kids aren't stupid he will absolutely know what his dad being silent and not comforting him meant. The dad was actively racist by not denying or correcting his mom when his son was hurt and the kid now has the negative affect of the person who is supposed to love him being racist and deeply hurting him. I totally agree with Jon divorce is absolutely called for.
I just wanted to say how much I love your podcast. Last year my daughter recommended it to me. I became a fan pretty quickly. I'm a three-time cancer survivor. Last Summer I found out that my lung cancer had returned. I had to undergo radiation and chemotherapy, and your podcast was what I listened to during my chemotherapy. I'm now undergoing immunotherapy for the next nine months. Still listening and still fighting. I felt compelled to write to let you know how much I enjoy your show. You guys are so funny and so insightful. And you honestly kept my spirits up during a rather difficult time. I can't tell you how much I appreciate that. I've had conversations with my daughter, who is also a fan. We can't really decide who's our favorite because we love you all. My daughter works with a number of men and she said that work would be so much better if she worked with guys like y'all. You are funny, smart, respectful, and truly caring people. It's sad to say that's rare among men, but you do give me hope that there are more men out there like you. John, Josh and Sean, keep doing what you do. Much love from this Dragonslayer mom!
Related to Story 4: My current partner fabricated some things about their life when we met due to personal issues they were going through. Once our relationship started and got really serious, they felt trapped and absolutely wrecked by guilt about the fabrication. They eventually told me, and I was devastated, but with lots of conversations and understanding about why they lied and why they kept it from me for so long, I was able to move on and forgive them for it. However, OP doesnt feel guilty like they did, she feels proud and feels like it was "worth it", she did it out of pure selfishness and was angry when she didnt get the reaction she wanted. Honestly horrific
Story 2: as a European it's rather embarrassing to only speak one language. If you aren't very old and school has been ages ago, it means you didn't pay attention at school or have a learning disability (no reason to be ashamed either, but I hope you get my point). No one would ever think it's embarrassing to speak a second language, probably not even the racist people (unfortunately there are some of them everywhere). My parents are both German so I had to learn new languages in school and as an adult. I would have loved to be raised bilingual.
Story 4 creeped me out from how little emotions there were on her post 😭 She chose her husband like he's a f-ing item at the store that's kinda hard to reach 😭
Story 4 reminds me of How I Met Your Mother Season 8 Ep 15. Ted's Dobler or Dahmer" theory; an act is only charming if the recipient finds it charming, making it "Dobler" (a reference to Lloyd Dobler in Say Anything...), but if the recipient is creeped out by it, it is "Dahmer.
Story 4, to me it was a little creepy at first, then the way she gets so angry in her update that her husband wants a divorce pushes it into full-on scary. Of course he didn’t tell her the truth about where he was going if that’s how she’s going to react.
Hello from Spain! Story 2 though: My husband always says that the more lenguages you know more internet is open to you! (among as you said work and other...) I speak spanish(I'm from Spain) english and french. I work for a French company in a international project with people from brazil, uk and France. Super useful to know more than 1 languages, even if english is present on lots of countries, so it is spanish and french, I wish I know more hehe
I don't usually comment, but. No, I'm sorry, what's up with story four and yalls reactions?? It doesn't matter she was a child when she started stalking him, she was still a creepy child! 🤮 If the genders were reversed where a man orchestrated his whole life from the moment he was a teenager to befriend a girl, choose a school, hobbies, get close to her family, and everything else all to get with the sister? He'd be labeled a horrible stalker! And everyone would be saying how terrifying it is to be in that situation! No one would excuse him with 'but he was still a child' the lie was held up for years until they were old enough to marry! It's terrifying! Absolutely horrible! I'd be terrified!! Children can be creepy and do horrible, borderline illegal, inappropriate stuff too! And sure, they have to less punished and more taught to do the right thing, but it's still reprehensible.
The story with the embarrassed grandma upset me. Let your grandson be able to be himself. Not just part of himself when he is around you. It's hard to believe that you don't realize that you are hindering the relationship with your grandson because you won't accept him as a whole. His mother is Mexican and regardless of her complexion, speaking Spanish is what her family does and is a big part of her culture. What is embarrassing is this grandma being this closed minded.
That girl has another man in mind. Why would she now just tell him? Also as like a quadruple Scorpio (astrology geek) I’m always looking at everyone like what are you hiding. What are your secrets. Criminals and liars and thieves etc don’t have “looks”. lol. We ignore our feelings for what we see. But we knew. When you know you don’t have to know WHYYY! At the origin moment. You’ll find out! Faith. Trust yourself.
I got terrified by Story 3. When I was young, this happened to me (except they found the site I did writing on). Except they were not supporting me; they were reading my stuff out loud and laughing at it. I never really recovered tbh.
Story 2: I would say therapy and no contact with the MIL. If she finds her grandson being bilingual to be embarrassing, she doesn’t need to be part of his life.
During story 3, I think you’re referencing the movie You’ve Got Mail with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks Edit* Oops I was wrong, it’s actually Sleepless in Seattle. Which funnily enough also stars Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks lol
The last one kinda reminds me of that crazy girl from how I met your mother.... yk? The blonde one... In the show they said the line between a cute gesture and borderline stalking was slim and I agree, but dude, this woman crossed it. She completely manipulated him and when she befriended his brother because of him, it was over. That man should be glad to be rid of her crazy ass
Love the new intro!! As for the stockholm syndrome bit: simply put, it's not a real thing. It doesn't exist (scientifically speaking; a science podcast called "The Sci Guys" did an episode about it, I recommend listening to that episode if you're interested to know more). Yes, the situations where a lot of people use the term for do exist (people stuck in abusive situations, having been manipulated or groomed to accept/ignore the abuse), but in terms of where the term came from (and how that situation hasn't repeated the same), it doesn't qualify. Technically speaking, I think it could be used in "casual" speech/language to refer to these types of abusive situations, I just personally am not a fan of people using the term due to it continuing the misconception of the whole thing.
Yep, this exactly. The true story of how the term 'stockholm syndrome' was coined is actually pretty horrific. It was really just a way to discredit the victims in the situation (most notably Kristin Enmark), who were upset at how the police handled the situation and actively put them in more danger. The psychiatrist that came up with 'stockholm syndrome' had NEVER EVEN MET HER. It's NOT a real diagnosis; it doesn't exist in the DSM and there are no actual diagnostic criteria for it.
language evolves. we all know what it means today. its not used as a scientific term or a diagnosis. i doubt the majority of people think this either. the term has evolved to a laymans term to express a victim of an abuser who has been psychologically conditioned to believe they love their abuser, and while they may seem to be consenting, theyre not just "stupid" - its a term that conveys the bottom line that they have been damaged to the point of a psychological bond and that they are still a victim who needs help escaping mentally. it honestly feels victim blamey to stress that their perception and the real power it holds on their behavior is just pretend.like who cares where the word came from. definitions are not timeless and the message is received when the term is used.
Being a wexican, I really related to the Spanish speaking story. My dad's side is Mexican & my mom's is white & some of my mom's family have always been weird about my dad, esp since he's brown. It's easier for me & my sibs bc we're light skinned, but I can't help feeling that the racist ones' love for us is dependent on how much we fit into their white box. Speaking Spanish, practicing our traditions, is "weird" for them. Or even just in general the way the US is about learning other languages. There's a real advantage in several ways to being bi/multilingual & many people don't recognize that
My husband told me that if he knew I was Mexican he wouldn’t have dated me. He thought I was a REALLY REALLY tanned white girl. 😑 like what? Im so tanned that our daughter thought I was black and ppl always think I’m half. Like how did he get it so wrong?! lol His mom….ugh she’s even worse. My daughter wanted a black baby doll for Xmas and she tried convincing her to get a baby that “looked like her”! Though my daughter is 1/2 white/Mexi she had blonde hair and blue eyes a the the time this happened (5yrs old).
Girl yeah what do you mean "my husband" and not ex husband ☠️☠️☠️ he basically told you he doesn't like you and literally for something you can't control
Another great episode guys been a fan for almost 2 years now recently joined the sub reddit as well a few months back and shared a personal story of mine I'd love if you guys talked about it on the podcast someday because I'd really like your takes on it
Maybe I’m a stalker, I don’t see a huge problem with her joining clubs and befriending someone to get closer to him. People do that all the time. Maybe not to level 10 like she did, but it’s not like she was sabotaging anything if his like his relationships or job applications. She was just getting everyone to like her. But I see how some people won’t like it being put out in the open like that.
Yall advocate for divorce super fast.... i never noticed until the second story but dang, calm down. If we never married anyone with racist relatives or messed up in their reaction to a relative, the dating pool would be painfully small, lol. Id rather hear your opinions on how they should deal with the problem that it would end peacefully for the two main characters.
Beauty and the Beast is NOT a representation of Stockholm Syndrome. Stockholm Syndrome isn't you being brainwashed or something. It's when you feel empathy or can identify with you captor. Which of those two, empathy and identifying with, is "love" or brainwashing? The syndrome has been taken so far out of context that it's ridiculous. Kindly, a Swede.
speaking of therapists liking reddit on wiki; i recommend yall to EVERYONE i come across, (i have SO much respect for u 3 strangers♡) & so i recommended yall to my old therapist & i remember at the next visit she began w “i LOVE those guys that u told me abt! they are so funny!!” so u can actually say several therapists approve y’all 😂🫶🏼
The "I'll decide when I come back" (1st story) sounds to me like "I still want you as a plan B if things dont go as I wanted"
Growing up bi-lingual (at least) is such a gift. 2nd story broke my heart.
Story 1 - that's abandonment. He has abandoned his family for another woman. Divorce is the only option. F that guy.
The stalking one is 100% a creep for me and I'm glad the husband got away from her. Even if she started it as a teen who maybe didn't know any better, she CONTINUED it for years and was way too calculating and manipulative.
I feel that there's a bit of double standard where people tend to let girls/women get away with things like this easier, because let's face it: if the genders were reversed, EVERYONE would be calling op a sick creep.😬
Yes, exactly! It's one thing to be infatuated, but this goes WAY beyond that. She literally calculated and manipulated everything to get to the point where they got married after college.
Story #4 is wild. I was once a weird 14 year old who probably got a little too into matching my personality to the guy I had a crush on but I definitely grew out of it. I feel like it was great that she felt guilty and wanted to come clean but it's terrifying how quick she changed in her update. It's like she manipulated the audience to think this wasn't that bad, but the moment he tricked her, she revealed her true colors.
Also, Josh definitely gives Jon Snow vibes.
That second story made me pissed. That poor boy now has to live with the fact that one side of his family doesn’t accept the other half. That mom must feel awful for not only never realizing this but having to bring her child as well into that environment. Totally don’t blame the mom whatsoever. Dad needs to grow a spine
That poor kid his dad didn't deny that the son being part mexican is embarrassing. Kids aren't stupid he will absolutely know what his dad being silent and not comforting him meant. The dad was actively racist by not denying or correcting his mom when his son was hurt and the kid now has the negative affect of the person who is supposed to love him being racist and deeply hurting him. I totally agree with Jon divorce is absolutely called for.
@@koripeterson7310 I agree.. divorce would be my choice
1st story: OP says that he's coming back so there's a chance.
Is the chance in the room with us now??
For the older generation explanation of podcast: tell them you do a talk radio style show. It's how I introduced my mom to podcasts altogether.
I just wanted to say how much I love your podcast. Last year my daughter recommended it to me. I became a fan pretty quickly. I'm a three-time cancer survivor. Last Summer I found out that my lung cancer had returned. I had to undergo radiation and chemotherapy, and your podcast was what I listened to during my chemotherapy. I'm now undergoing immunotherapy for the next nine months. Still listening and still fighting. I felt compelled to write to let you know how much I enjoy your show. You guys are so funny and so insightful. And you honestly kept my spirits up during a rather difficult time. I can't tell you how much I appreciate that. I've had conversations with my daughter, who is also a fan. We can't really decide who's our favorite because we love you all. My daughter works with a number of men and she said that work would be so much better if she worked with guys like y'all. You are funny, smart, respectful, and truly caring people. It's sad to say that's rare among men, but you do give me hope that there are more men out there like you. John, Josh and Sean, keep doing what you do. Much love from this Dragonslayer mom!
Related to Story 4:
My current partner fabricated some things about their life when we met due to personal issues they were going through. Once our relationship started and got really serious, they felt trapped and absolutely wrecked by guilt about the fabrication. They eventually told me, and I was devastated, but with lots of conversations and understanding about why they lied and why they kept it from me for so long, I was able to move on and forgive them for it.
However, OP doesnt feel guilty like they did, she feels proud and feels like it was "worth it", she did it out of pure selfishness and was angry when she didnt get the reaction she wanted. Honestly horrific
Story 2: as a European it's rather embarrassing to only speak one language. If you aren't very old and school has been ages ago, it means you didn't pay attention at school or have a learning disability (no reason to be ashamed either, but I hope you get my point). No one would ever think it's embarrassing to speak a second language, probably not even the racist people (unfortunately there are some of them everywhere).
My parents are both German so I had to learn new languages in school and as an adult. I would have loved to be raised bilingual.
What a great start to my birthday week!!!!!!!!!!🎊 🎉
Happy birthday!!! 🎉🎉
@@RedditOnWiki thank you so much!!!!!
Story 4 creeped me out from how little emotions there were on her post 😭 She chose her husband like he's a f-ing item at the store that's kinda hard to reach 😭
Story 4 reminds me of How I Met Your Mother Season 8 Ep 15. Ted's Dobler or Dahmer" theory; an act is only charming if the recipient finds it charming, making it "Dobler" (a reference to Lloyd Dobler in Say Anything...), but if the recipient is creeped out by it, it is "Dahmer.
that girl needs help!!!
50:50 with all the rage comments I imagined Josh like Ross Geller from friends saying: "this isn't good for my rage"
Story 4, to me it was a little creepy at first, then the way she gets so angry in her update that her husband wants a divorce pushes it into full-on scary. Of course he didn’t tell her the truth about where he was going if that’s how she’s going to react.
Seans hurt face during the kitchen scene in the Spanish story is me af
#2: automatic divorce. 😕
Hello from Spain! Story 2 though: My husband always says that the more lenguages you know more internet is open to you! (among as you said work and other...) I speak spanish(I'm from Spain) english and french. I work for a French company in a international project with people from brazil, uk and France. Super useful to know more than 1 languages, even if english is present on lots of countries, so it is spanish and french, I wish I know more hehe
Yassss new beginning! THANK YOU!!!!
Story 4: "Alexa, play Mastermind by Taylor Swift" 😂
I don't usually comment, but. No, I'm sorry, what's up with story four and yalls reactions?? It doesn't matter she was a child when she started stalking him, she was still a creepy child! 🤮
If the genders were reversed where a man orchestrated his whole life from the moment he was a teenager to befriend a girl, choose a school, hobbies, get close to her family, and everything else all to get with the sister? He'd be labeled a horrible stalker! And everyone would be saying how terrifying it is to be in that situation!
No one would excuse him with 'but he was still a child' the lie was held up for years until they were old enough to marry! It's terrifying! Absolutely horrible! I'd be terrified!! Children can be creepy and do horrible, borderline illegal, inappropriate stuff too! And sure, they have to less punished and more taught to do the right thing, but it's still reprehensible.
I love John saying pinche pendejo 😂♥️
The story with the embarrassed grandma upset me. Let your grandson be able to be himself. Not just part of himself when he is around you. It's hard to believe that you don't realize that you are hindering the relationship with your grandson because you won't accept him as a whole. His mother is Mexican and regardless of her complexion, speaking Spanish is what her family does and is a big part of her culture. What is embarrassing is this grandma being this closed minded.
i would love to see yall do a reddit story on tree law there are sooo many shocking stories on peoples lives getting racked bc of cutting down a tree!
Love love love the new theme song!!! ❤
I truly hope op from 1st story sees this 💔
That girl has another man in mind. Why would she now just tell him?
Also as like a quadruple Scorpio (astrology geek) I’m always looking at everyone like what are you hiding. What are your secrets. Criminals and liars and thieves etc don’t have “looks”. lol. We ignore our feelings for what we see. But we knew. When you know you don’t have to know WHYYY! At the origin moment. You’ll find out! Faith. Trust yourself.
Story 4 OP gives we vibes of the lady from the King book, Misery, Anne Wilkes.
Op from story 4 needs to get her some Jesus and years of therapy.
She's just going to end up lusting after the Pastor or a divorced dad.
Eh. Just a new husband and she’ll be fine.
I got terrified by Story 3. When I was young, this happened to me (except they found the site I did writing on). Except they were not supporting me; they were reading my stuff out loud and laughing at it. I never really recovered tbh.
That’s been my experience as well. I only feel comfortable around my parents
Story 2: I would say therapy and no contact with the MIL. If she finds her grandson being bilingual to be embarrassing, she doesn’t need to be part of his life.
This is for Sean. Lol.
Boy 28 pursued girl 19.
I love that new intro! Super cool!!!
story 4 reminds me of a toxic friend I had. she was CRAZY.
During story 3, I think you’re referencing the movie You’ve Got Mail with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks
Edit* Oops I was wrong, it’s actually Sleepless in Seattle. Which funnily enough also stars Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks lol
Why wouldn’t grandma be so proud of her bilingual grandson at 5?? Does she not understand how hard it is to be bilingual?!
The last one kinda reminds me of that crazy girl from how I met your mother.... yk? The blonde one... In the show they said the line between a cute gesture and borderline stalking was slim and I agree, but dude, this woman crossed it. She completely manipulated him and when she befriended his brother because of him, it was over. That man should be glad to be rid of her crazy ass
1:07:12 Brazilian cheese bread is called Pão de queijo
Love the new intro!! As for the stockholm syndrome bit: simply put, it's not a real thing. It doesn't exist (scientifically speaking; a science podcast called "The Sci Guys" did an episode about it, I recommend listening to that episode if you're interested to know more). Yes, the situations where a lot of people use the term for do exist (people stuck in abusive situations, having been manipulated or groomed to accept/ignore the abuse), but in terms of where the term came from (and how that situation hasn't repeated the same), it doesn't qualify.
Technically speaking, I think it could be used in "casual" speech/language to refer to these types of abusive situations, I just personally am not a fan of people using the term due to it continuing the misconception of the whole thing.
Yep, this exactly. The true story of how the term 'stockholm syndrome' was coined is actually pretty horrific. It was really just a way to discredit the victims in the situation (most notably Kristin Enmark), who were upset at how the police handled the situation and actively put them in more danger. The psychiatrist that came up with 'stockholm syndrome' had NEVER EVEN MET HER. It's NOT a real diagnosis; it doesn't exist in the DSM and there are no actual diagnostic criteria for it.
language evolves. we all know what it means today. its not used as a scientific term or a diagnosis. i doubt the majority of people think this either. the term has evolved to a laymans term to express a victim of an abuser who has been psychologically conditioned to believe they love their abuser, and while they may seem to be consenting, theyre not just "stupid" - its a term that conveys the bottom line that they have been damaged to the point of a psychological bond and that they are still a victim who needs help escaping mentally. it honestly feels victim blamey to stress that their perception and the real power it holds on their behavior is just pretend.like who cares where the word came from. definitions are not timeless and the message is received when the term is used.
33 minutes in I think u mean the show You. But I’m unsure lol
Shouldn't those resolutions at the end have been resolu-Seans?
Being a wexican, I really related to the Spanish speaking story. My dad's side is Mexican & my mom's is white & some of my mom's family have always been weird about my dad, esp since he's brown. It's easier for me & my sibs bc we're light skinned, but I can't help feeling that the racist ones' love for us is dependent on how much we fit into their white box. Speaking Spanish, practicing our traditions, is "weird" for them. Or even just in general the way the US is about learning other languages. There's a real advantage in several ways to being bi/multilingual & many people don't recognize that
My husband told me that if he knew I was Mexican he wouldn’t have dated me. He thought I was a REALLY REALLY tanned white girl. 😑 like what? Im so tanned that our daughter thought I was black and ppl always think I’m half. Like how did he get it so wrong?! lol His mom….ugh she’s even worse. My daughter wanted a black baby doll for Xmas and she tried convincing her to get a baby that “looked like her”! Though my daughter is 1/2 white/Mexi she had blonde hair and blue eyes a the the time this happened (5yrs old).
Please tell me you got away from him 🙏🏾
Girl yeah what do you mean "my husband" and not ex husband ☠️☠️☠️ he basically told you he doesn't like you and literally for something you can't control
Sean is so handsome! Yay for the new ep
Another great episode guys been a fan for almost 2 years now recently joined the sub reddit as well a few months back and shared a personal story of mine I'd love if you guys talked about it on the podcast someday because I'd really like your takes on it
Maybe I’m a stalker, I don’t see a huge problem with her joining clubs and befriending someone to get closer to him.
People do that all the time.
Maybe not to level 10 like she did, but it’s not like she was sabotaging anything if his like his relationships or job applications. She was just getting everyone to like her.
But I see how some people won’t like it being put out in the open like that.
Her actions are not okay because she's a kid, story 4.
19:31 Proof this one is fake then. Makes sense why the MIL was so direct
Yall advocate for divorce super fast.... i never noticed until the second story but dang, calm down. If we never married anyone with racist relatives or messed up in their reaction to a relative, the dating pool would be painfully small, lol. Id rather hear your opinions on how they should deal with the problem that it would end peacefully for the two main characters.
"... for a lady in Thailand."
*raises eyebrows*
Is it...? Is it a lady?
Beauty and the Beast is NOT a representation of Stockholm Syndrome. Stockholm Syndrome isn't you being brainwashed or something. It's when you feel empathy or can identify with you captor. Which of those two, empathy and identifying with, is "love" or brainwashing?
The syndrome has been taken so far out of context that it's ridiculous.
Kindly, a Swede.
Why is there a new intro? GIVE ME THE OLD INTRO BACK
speaking of therapists liking reddit on wiki; i recommend yall to EVERYONE i come across, (i have SO much respect for u 3 strangers♡) & so i recommended yall to my old therapist & i remember at the next visit she began w “i LOVE those guys that u told me abt! they are so funny!!” so u can actually say several therapists approve y’all 😂🫶🏼
So early 🎉🎉🎉🎉!!! Just in time for my lunch break. @redditonwikki