I can't remember if this was touched on in the video, but anytime a Non-Basic (or should we call them an Extra?) goes after a Basic, chances are it's a validation thing. If the Extra gets with the Basic Bro or Bitch, that could potentially give them a level of popularity or legitimacy that that an Extra they have a better connection with could. The thing about Basics is that while they aren't trendy, they're VERY popular BECAUSE they're Basic. It's accessible, predictable, and there's nothing niche about them at all. Also, I do remember for awhile ago (about last year) when people were bragging about how Basic they were because as if it were something cool to aspire to. I didn't understand this at all until I realized that being Basic is a status symbol. I mean, when you think of someone who's Basic, what kind of person do you have in mind? Chances are they're white and have money. They pretty much have ALL the advantages in society! And let's face it, the only thing "cool" about a Basic Bro or Bitch is their bank account. You take away all that money, and suddenly no one wants to be a Basic or be with a Basic Bro or Bitch.
its so sad that youre thinking like this. all of the "basic" trends might be basic but people enjoy them!! you might think youre cooler because you do theatre or whatever, but newsflash, "basic" girls do cool as hell shit as well. a couple of my friends in sororities do rotc. uggs are warm. leggings are comfortable. starbucks tastes good. pumpkin spice lattes are also pretty good. i would bet real money that most of these basic bitches are better people than you. you're judging someone for the kind of fashion and pop culture they like. you arent better than them bc youre judging them like this. the difference between people like you (who call themselves "extra" i guess????) and people like me is that i dont actually give a shit about this anymore because we got over being "weird" in middle school. guess what assholes! everyone is weird. try to befriend a "basic" bitch. i have loads of "basic" bitch friends (due to clubs). theyre in sororities. they drink starbucks. they wear thigh high boots and take sorority squat photos against instagram wall backgrounds. and theyre fun to talk to because they have cool interests, both in and outside of their major. theyre smart and they're good at their jobs. they are leaders in their social circles and do awesome extracurricular activities such as band and dance and rotc. they aren't insanely rich, and their financial status isn't generally anything remarkable. you don't measure up because your attitude is disgusting and off-putting. that's why people dont like you. maybe if you tried being kinder, you'd have a better shot
@@ishathakor This was posted so long ago so sorry for basically recessing the dead here but I have things to say about this. Maybe I'm wrong but most I feel like most people don't think they're "cooler" cuz they're not the "basic" sorority girl type, but they're still jealous because truly that is what the majority of guys go after. It gets annoying because it seems like if you fit that stereotype you get a free pass to anything you want in life and if you're a bit strange no one even looks at you in a romantic light. It's just really discouraging and I agree with you, it's super wrong to manifest this discouragement outward and be mean to these sort of girls. But also could you please just not with the grandous statements like sayin sorority girls are literally better people just cuz they're nice and bubbly and don't make waves because they don't have to? Understanding people is hard but it's usually really worth it, so maybe try understanding where people are coming from when they say "guys just don't want anyone but a basic girl" (I'm not gonna say bitch that's really rude imo) Being lonely is a powerful thing that turns good people to vindictive assholes sometimes, but a little bit of understanding goes a long way. From both sides, all girls "basic" and weird should all try to understand each other instead of being mean, guys are the problem tbh and we girls need to stick together, so don't get me wrong, I agree with you on a lot of counts here. Everyone should be themselves and for a lot of people that is being 'basic' and there's nothing wrong with that, but it doesn't make you better because you've stopped caring enough to try to be cool and edgy, some people really are strange, it's their true self and it gets a little annoying that it's not as accepted as other people's true version of themselves
Guys who like “basic” chicks are usually insecure. Complexity intimidates them! basic girls are safe, predictable and therefore logically it means socially it’s going to kept them safe.
Don't try the "men like basic girls because they're insecure" to try and make yourself feel better. Men go for women who remind them of their mothers and because you don't fit that mould for that particular guy doesn't mean it's right for you to say they're "insecure" or that complexity intimidates them; how rude of you to assume. If you truly believe this then I have a hard time believing you're complex in any way and just insecure yourself.
Yep, nobody has time to figure out female bullshit. Men don't care, we don't go out to endlessly talk to random fickle women. Men learn this young after wasting a tonne of time on fickle women
Ivana Stjepanovic You’re probably right on that point. Maybe it just seems most people are of “basic average intelligence.” And that’s why it feels so lonely for us “weird” girls/women.
@@goldenmoon739 maybe because most of them see woman as trofees and they are also tend to be more submissive, wich is perfect for them because this type of girls would never be smarter than them, pure sexism
You are SO SMART! Literally, this is such an underrated channel. But I’m also kinda happy about that coz I don’t want the general public to know the secrets that shallon tells us about society and dating ;)
When I was in college, my friends and I were so perplexed. We would walk around campus in sweats, messy buns, no makeup, and get hit on SO MUCH. But on days we were dressed up (like had a presentation or church) there would be nothing! It was such a contrast and happened that way so much, we had to have a discussion about it. Why? So we think we figured it out! If we were dressed down, guys probably thought they could take us to Wendy's and have us order off that 99 cent menu and be happy about it. When we were dressed up, guys probably thought we were high maintenance, and they would have to step it up. Lol
The same thing happens to me! Look like a mess, don't care, I'm just out going to do errands...BOOM! Men tend to talk to me. I put in some effort, nice sleek outfit, hair done nice, a little makeup....nothing. Funny how that works. I've always been told to look nice if I wanted to get someone's attention....🤔
Or maybe even though it is technically more good-looking to be in makeup and done up, for us, it may be more attractive if a girl is not doing all that.
Low quality men go for low quality women... and generally low quality people have less of a hard time fitting in and finding people like them. Complex people have a harder time relating to basic people, and basic people don’t understand complex people and probably find them weird/scary/ intimidating
I completely agree with you however. I believe I'm a high quality female,i care about genuine connection and relationships and is waiting for the right person to loose my virginity to. But still the last guy I dated pushed me really hard into getting me into bed but he could never get a piece of clothing off of me. We broke up within 15 days but I still feel like maybe I'm not high quality enough for a high quality man to be attracted to me FYI I'm 18 and so is he
My husband was the frat guy. He could of dated any woman he wanted. But he loved my weirdness. He got tired of all the fake people. Despite his social abilities he prefers genuineness.
I think a lot of guys look at me and figure that I’m that basic girl, because I am really giggly and lighthearted AT THE SURFACE. Once I’m comfortable around someone I really love discussing psychology, science and religion; especially with people who have different beliefs than I do. I don’t think my high school boyfriend could handle that- or handle the fact that I had complex emotions. Whenever I would open up to him, or just give my ~unpopular~ opinion he would seem to shut down- give me one or two word responses and immediately change the subject.
I seem to have the opposite problem. I go to high school in southern California, and all the girls that have boyfriends are the laid back, wear plain clothes, and wear little to no makeup. Then there’s me who has worn a full face of makeup since 8th grade, always have my hair done, and pretty much never wears sweatpants to class. So I feel like here the girls that are more easily digestible are the plain ones that look the same everyday, vs the girls like me who change up their look every day. Maybe I’m not “predictable” enough lol.
It's ok to be high maintenance, just ask yourself *who* you're doing it for. If it's because it makes *YOU* feel good, then go right ahead, there's nothing wrong with pampering yourself. If you are doing it for someone else, it can affect your self esteem, and eventually become a job. Bottom line, us high maintenance gals don't have to be apologetic if our morals match our exterior 😉.
Haley -if that's you in the picture Then you are beautiful! First of all don't ever change for a guy! Second I've noticed guys go for ugly woman because they are A. Helping them with bills. B. They don't want a beautiful girlfriend because they don't want some guy coming along and taking her. C. Most guy's feel undeserving of beautiful women. I grew up in southern California to and I've noticed this too.
“Weird” and “basic” are so subjective too like in legally blonde Elle was the weirdo of Harvard. These ladies may need to hang with different crowds to find their men
Why girls feel the need to tear down other girls for being ‘basic’ .... don’t guys already give us enough shit. Don’t be that “I’m not every other girl” and call conventionally attractive and trendy girls basic. This sounds like nice guys in reverse .
Morgan rhodes most of these basic girls are the ones who are running after guys and asking them out. Because of these basic bitches they are making guys lazy in regards to relationships. I despise these basic bitches and they should all be shipped to Antarctica and fucking freeze.
phoenixflier25 is it ruining dating for you or are you just going after guys that don’t like you? If a man really likes you it won’t matter how much pussy is getting thrown at them. Stop hating other women b it’s not a good look.
I'm 24 and never dated anyone lol. Guys like me at first (they are flirty and act different) but then we just become friends cause I'm too weird for them to think of me in a dating way :p
I love this video. I'm 36 and happily married, but I spent my entire 20s trying to "basic myself down" and hating it. I've always been nerdy and artsy, and wanted to wear my boho dresses and talk about exhibits at the MOMA, but it didn't work in my 20s dating life. However, I think that for young girls who don't know who they are yet and don't know who their type is, it's important to "dial down" the weirdness. Because it both helps you to connect with more types of people, and suffering through it actually taught me that maybe I need to date a nerd like me, and that is how I met my husband. We are nerds together, we watch Game of Thrones and visit art exhibits, but I had to go through "basicing myself down" to figure out who I need to be with.
Super pathetic you have to go out of your way to put other girls down to make yourself feel better. Using my photos to gain views and generalize me when you've never actually met me and don't know anything about me. I feel sorry for you :/
I met my boyfriend when he had already graduated college and had a full time job. And I'm so happy. He was a typical frat boy in college so I'm really happy that I met him after that haha!
You know what’s funny is that I’m a 39 year old African American married mom of two little ones and I’m a subscriber. I think your advice is so important to young women today and I watch to keep up on all the new dating pit falls to give advice to the young women in my life and tell them to check you out.
I think guys also go after those girls because they have confidence, they’re pretty, and they’re easy. When they get older though, they’ll want a girl who has the whole package, pretty, smart, etc. and who’s on the same page as them.
Shallon can you please give more advice about dating post graduation (mid twenties) Or for older audience in general? Because this video was AMAZING Love you ♥️
Shallon Lester I relate sooooo much to this video! I was changed for the basic average unoriginal standard generic ass sorority bitch :( It would be so great to know which topics guys like to talk about. I am 21 just started dating and going crazy with this. Help me queeen
wow thank you so much, this actually helped me so much. And you've managed to articulate this without shading basic people? honestly I'm over being sad about being passed up for my skinny blonde friends, this really cheered me up!!
I’ve noticed that people who don’t want to conform, they will go all out with being different. Just to prove a point. I’ve done that a few times too until I realized I was doing it as a defense mechanism. Be yourself but try to be relatable and understandable haha
There are advantages of growing up before RUclips and social media, but there are also disadvantages. I had to follow mom's advice "focus on school, not on looking pretty, mr right will find you, and love you just as you are", well, now I'm 37 and she's asking why she doesn't have grandkids. I needed you back then, when I was younger and less ugly :(
all of these “basic” girls you’re talking about are still people with individual personalities...you can’t just sit there and say just because a girl is traditionally beautiful & well liked means she’s small minded and lesser than you. If a super model was on here saying this stuff about “weirder” girls there would be so much backlash. Love other women, they are not your competition.
I agree with most of what you’re saying but I can also see what she means, I like the majority of the things she calls “basic” 😂 but I also resonate with te other parts, it’s almost like if you don’t fit this criteria you’re not worthy or it’s something wrong with you. It’s a cycle of hypocrisy the “basic” girls tear down the people who are not like them and viceversa.
This makes so much sense. I’ve been going through a phase where I’m deeply insecure and frustrated by the girls who attract the most attention, and I would love to see a video on how to accept that a specific type of guy will just never be into you. I think a lot of my issues stem from an experience with a crush from my early teenage years who liked my friend. It seems trivial now, but for some reason it set up a lot of my self-perception even many years later.
I can relate to most of what you’re saying. As a latina nerd, I’ve experienced this phenomenon for quite a while. I think I’ll only find a weirdo like me after graduating from college, but that’s okay. 😄 I like being weird. 🤷🏻♀️
My mum was the basic girl (no college degree) and my dad had a good degree but he was not interested in the well-educated girls. I never understood why Dad didn't marry someone intelligent but now it makes so much sense. Thanks Shallon!
nowadays college degrees are worth nothing. There is a big possibility that your mum was more intelligent than many of the college educated so called "strong women".It was just different back then.And of course if a man has enough finance power why wouldn't he choose a nice woman who gives her all focus to her family
@@bansheee1 'Mum being intelligent' & 'strong woman'.. Hmm.. Mum always needed someone to lean on, like a saviour. Mum & Dad's relationship is more like Donald & Melania's relationship (Mum & Dad think Mark Zuckerberg & Priscilla Chan's relationship is an act). The only good thing about my mum was she dressed well and my Dad fell for her beauty. 'woman who gives her all focus to her family' Yeah, speak to my therapist, we're still dealing with the issues.
Same with my parents, but my mom hides how smart she is. I don’t think my dad knows her as a person; only as the ideal Christian trophy wife. I wonder if I’ll want to be married like that
@@Belihoney Have I? Well, it's kinda dumb when you're mum makes wrong judgements while bringing you up.. What animal mother's do awful things to their own offsprings?
Honestly, I agree so much with what you say about people with same experiences and points a view connect and attract each other. However, I really believe that you should look for what vibes with you (in an honest way). For example, I’m extremely weird, I’m a loner, I have no filter and I have an odd humor - I’ve managed to attract men with the same traits and I love my life now. I date a lot and have very deep connections with these men, so I believe you can find the right people, but ya gotta look FOR the right people as well.
This guy I became friends with were sort of talking for a bit and he invited me to parties and was flirting with me. All of a sudden he tells my friend he doesn’t want to do anything further and he hopes he’s not leading me on. Ever since then I’ve been distancing myself from him and now he’s trying to talk to me a lot more and I’m like ????
Guys love things that aren't easy to get, but mostly he's seeking for your attention. You were feeding his ego, now that you're gonehe doesn't want that to go away. You were his property but he was never yours from his perspective.
wow I actually love you, this was probably the biggest eye opener, especially with what the guys eat and their relationships theory. I love fashion and being stylish but I agree that guys probably think I'm high maintence. I notice that all guys I'd go out with woul iventually turn me down, however!, they would say how great and smart and beautiful and funny i am.....so I always wonder, why don't they date me??? It makes so much sense though, they just probably think I'm too complicated.
I found the sentiment of this video to be really interesting and pretty analytical but the delivery to be extremely misogynistic. It's possible to explain this phenomenon without bringing down other girls like that :/
Women including far left "women have it so hard, the patriarchy, waa waa" always bring each other down. Y'all wanna play at sisterhood until the second another woman has a different opinion.
@@virtualarmageddon6232 I agree with Shallon? I just think that painting this "basic bitch" type of girl in this light and having an "I'm not like other girls" attitude is disrespectful. You're also being rude to me for having a different opinion so if you were really playing the voice of reason like you think you are you'd either be engaging me in a healthy and respectful convo or respecting my right to also have an opinion and not say anything at all. The difference is that one of our opinions brings women down and one doesn't. I'm unsure as to why you're hurting so much that you feel the need to come after me like that but I hope you find some peace have a nice day.
@@mousyblonde4727 ofc they are not all super basic, but she is right, they great majority is (men and women). They all dress the same, talk the same, smell the same, like the same things and date the same people (according to pop culture ). It's not a bad thing to be basic, u don't hurt anyone, it's just kind of sad that some people don't really try to explore and potentially change themselves during their 20s.
okay honestly if you watch the whole thing,, she addresses pros and cons of being "basic" or "different" and then basically says that you should just follow what makes you happiest
I mean, I think it’s pretty obvious some people appear more shallow than others and that extends to dating. College is a breeding ground of people following what other people do.
Christina Otte With all due respect, I think we all know that was a last minute cop-out to make the entire video as a whole appear less shallow. It is one thing to explain why college relationships tend to be more superficial, but it is quite another to name an entire group of people as your basis for dumb and shallow. Moreover, to look down on these people under the guise of being “unique” is self-serving elitism. This isn’t to say that she didn’t have a few valid points - they were just not nearly substantial enough to justify the blatant misogyny she was espousing.
Shannon Of course there are a myriad of shallow people in college. But just like calling another woman ugly doesn’t make you more attractive, calling another woman (or group of women) “basic bitches” doesn’t give you any substance. As a college guy, I go for women who are intelligent, have a good identity to them, and a moral character. You could argue these are women of substance. I don’t know Shallon personally, so I can’t speak for how I’d interact with her, but I could never even be friends with a woman who has this mentality. Not to mention, her video is heavily reliant on being (ironically enough) outwardly judgmental enough to make a quick, two-second assessment on who can be considered a “basic shallow bitch”. Nothing more superficial than making this character judgment based on arbitrary characteristics ie being in a sorority and having “trendy” clothes.
I am a 45 y.o, morally conservative, Middle Eastern woman and you totally resonate with me. Love you shallon. You are adorable. Plus I love how you crack yourself up. I think you are good with guys because you are in your feminism energy, your beautiful friend is in her masculine energy.
Idk I appreciate all the thought and care that went into this video, but I really feel like it oversimplifies a lot of women. I guess I just thought we were beyond pitting ourselves against our sisters out of jealousy because boys pay more attention to them?
Guys compete over women too. It’s not just women that get jealous over guys. It’s basic human nature to fight over a mate it’s literally in our dna. We may not like it but it’s always gonna happen.
Its human nature since the bronze age. Men are the same. Its all based on psychology. It really has nothing to do about pitying against each other as much as it may seem.
I like your style Shallon. I agree with what you were saying, if you’re not dressing in a way that’s YOU, you’ll feel and look not so good... My personal style has always been chic tomboy. I cover up the goods and I like subtle sexy, not LOUD sexy. I’ve stayed true to that and I always get compliments on my style, just because it’s me and no one else that I’m trying to be. 😉
Just be yourself! Being “basic” literally has nothing to do with peoples true identity. If someone wants to present as “basic” or “weird”, cool. That doesn’t say much about who they really are.
I was a sorority girl, but always kind of a weird girl too. I’m a writer now do my weirdness makes sense. I asked a guy recently if he thought I was weird. He said yes, but he likes it. Go figure 🤷🏻♀️
❤This video!! I've always wondered this all the time but no one could answer or expain it to me!! Its a bit frustrating but truth. You keep it real and straight to the point.
Lol, well.. everything i like are trends but I liked and wore them _literally_ right bEFORE it becomes a trend 🤷🏻♀️ its like I'm a natural trend psychic 😂😂😂
To me, I think the core message is that you shouldn't be showcasing one aspect of your personality solely for the purpose of attracting someone. The relationship should be natural to begin with, right? What's. Natural about putting one side of a four dimensional object on display? People will see the rest when they walk around the object, just like men will see the rest when they hang around you, but no one wants to see more when we present ourselves as one dimensional. Be odd, goofy, extra, whatever, but let it be natural. Be serious when it's time to be serious and sensitive when it's time to be sensitive, and don't base your value as a partner around the one quality in yourself that you think the opposite sex (or same, whatever you like) will be most attracted to. When you start stereotyping them, they start stereotyping you. Present yourself as a human, not a single persona. And honestly, do you *really* wanna go for someone who spends his time with vapid women? Your pick, just remember that hot ≠ good match.
I have a question for you Shallon! What would you do differently if you were back in high school or college right now? Do you have any regrets? I am super curious!!
You’ve analyzed this phenomenon perfectly. Couldn’t have been said better. Yes and this goes for all guys, even older men who’d you think would have matured haven’t. A lot of men want simple woman because anything else is just too complicated, too much to think about for their little brains lol.
I really appreciate this I’m 22 and I only have had 1 boy friend that didn’t last long but I am definitely weird. And theres nothing wrong with being weird or basic but this really gave me perspective and makes so much sense. Thank you!
I was an ugly duckling until about 18 and I constantly felt so annoyed that I was 'different' and wore kind of hippie/boho clothes and people made fun of me relentlessly. I resented these kinds of girls SO MUCH because I thought that all guys wanted this type. But then when I got older I realized that these girls are people just like me. They aren't better than me and I'm not better than them. We are just different. Men who just want a girlfriend to be hot and flatter their ego aren't even my type at all. I want a guy who is well rounded and not just 'one thing' and those are the types of guys who go for me. I would probably die of boredom if I was with the stereotypical 'frat boy jock'. Once you exit the highschool/college sphere you realize that a huge group of men are actually turned off by these girls even to the point that their hotness isn't worth spending actual time with them. At the end of it, the basic guys and girls can live with each other and be perfectly happy...and I can appreciate them when I want a fun but predictable good time.
Ugh love all your videos been watching you for years!!! This makes so much sense though! Like I know I have a great personality but I know I’m quirky different and weird / so a gamble! I also was an a chi o hahahahaa
Idk how tf I got to this video but here’s my perspective as a frat guy. She’s basically 80% right. College is 4 years, most of us don’t want to commit. Why spend 4 months working on discovering a couple non conventional girls when I could be easily getting 10+ “basic” girls, that are as routine as brushing my teeth. Not objectifying here, I’m convinced they feel the same way about men.
Shallon, you are the cooler sister I never had. I love the confidence and positivity focus you present. My absolute favorite thing about your videos would be the actual advice and practical solutions you provide. This year, I want to level up my life in key areas of career and relationships. Thank you for the content you have covered. It has given me some serious motivation to step up in the areas that need improvement.
Eh no, most men never move beyond this stage of development. To be fair, most women don't either. People want easy lives. It's why I'm alone and will be alone for the rest of my life. It's why most people have mediocre careers, etc. If you want easy, you'll get it, but may not get much out of it. I also love when basic women call themselves weird. No, you aren't weird. If you are reading this right now, you probably aren't weird. I'm ugly, been that was since I exited my mother's womb, people let me know constantly. If you are "weird", trust me, people went out their way to tell you and you aren't going to be listening to someone like her. She's not for you, she's for pretty and young people. Move along, we have real problems people like this cannot help with. They have no understanding of who we are and the lives we have lived. Therapy is for us. Furthermore, most of what you are talking about require money. No poor people don't get move around and travel everywhere. That doesn't make them boring. WTF? And please stop using "like" as filler. I'm sure she's a nice person, but she's not for people with real problems. And I dress like an elementary art school teacher, I'm not changing that, screw men.
Trendiness is secondary to hotness, always. A good body trumps good style. Guys just want a bangin bod, which makes sense, but can be a depressing truth if you’re putting effort into a cool outfit. If you have a flat stomach and a juicy ass, whatever outfit accentuates your hotness is the one guys will gravitate to lol
I wouldn't call it basic but I'd say popular for sure haha. and there are popular metal bands as well.. I feel like basic would be like the music you hear all the time on the radio and in stores and stuff? idk
10:50 was totally me in high school and in college i attempted to revamp my look and i found an amazing guy who actually liked me despite my weirdness and weird interests. We are total opposites but it just worked, i think because we were both open minded to trying to like each other's interests. In high school I knew the " popular " boys were SECRETLY into the same things i was but we never worked out because we each had ridiculous standards for our partners.
Listen if you’re one of those stylish girls. On rare occasion dress down. My friend did that and boy did all the boys go crazy. Desirable and relatable at the same time. Just find the balance
I have the problem in that there are two parts of my personality that are very different. On one hand, I'm a very emotional, artistic/creative person with a lot of niche interests, and on the other, I'm conservative politically and Christian. I get rejected by Christian men because I'm not a basic Barbie, and I get rejected by artsy weirdos like me because of my beliefs. Both of these parts of me are too important to push aside or pretend aren't there, so I've just kind of given up hope that I'm going to find anyone like myself. Cause no matter what, people don't like me.
Sometimes shallon sounds like she lives her reality based on Gossip Girl, which is a bit sad considering she's over 30. I find this video to be very much geared towards high school and college ages 17-23. "Weird art girl" , "different" etc. Lol what??? People have real life problems and issues as adults. No one cares if you're wearing the right PINK bedazzled velour sweatpants and push-up bra. Ladies you should always take care of yourself to the best of your ability. Buy yourself nice clothes, groom your appearance, etc. But you should also be comfortable and do what you like. Guys are attracted to confidence and girls who like themselves. You don't have to try to be anything. It's not that hard to get a boyfriend.
yes she makes me feel bad in this video for being 'done up'. I love dressing feminine, looking good etc. but I also have a lot of darkness and depth to my character. A lot of people think that pretty girls are dumb or shallow. Just because somebody takes pride in his/hers appereance doesnt mean this person is dumb/shallow. It hurts me so much when people hate me for no reason because of my looks. In the darkest times, when I was depressed because of my abusive home, all I had was putting on makeup and nice clothes as my escape
Shallon: first of all I love you! To all the others. I highly recommend you to study in Europe because here it is the other way around. University guys go to slam poetry, eat healthy and love off cinema movies. I u are this random sorority ( I had to look up that word I am German ;-)) kind of girl u will defenitly not date anyone from a University in Berlin Florence or Paris. So girls stay weired and live abroad to study. Here the weired is the normal
Weirdness? You aren't weird, you are a very smart person. Your capacity to understand the space around you is unbelievable. Obviously you need to be stimulated, and with a basic man you get bored, because a cell with a computer...don't work. You a very smart, you make me think about things that I never had noticed. Damn
Yeah cuz my chemical romance, animals, and artsy movies are “edgy” “alternative” and don’t Forget!! “Weird”. So different THAN ALL THE OTHER BASIC GIRLS!
But Sorority Girls are typically fit, trendy and gorgeous, they care about their looks. If that means basic, then i'll take the basic title too while having all the hot college boys in my dm's lmao! 💖✨ - - We as women shouldn't think of basic as a bad thing or continue to categorize ourselves unless we don't mind Men categorizing Women? Yes, there are classes of people; High class and Low class. We are all women and we all deserve to feel amazing about ourselves. Women are enough, as we are, but we should definitely be the best versions of ourselves. - - Sorry this is a little off topic but I thought other women should read this. 💕
Nicole A it’s not jealous, I wouldn’t trade my looks and personality for being a blonde bimbo, but it just frustrates me that guys are so superficial and small minded to go for girls who are complete airheads and bitches instead of girls who are intelligent and unique. I mean some of these girls are so fake and lack substance but guys don’t care as long as she has an ass and ditzy personality
Guys go after girls for those reasons you listed but when they leave college (if they didn’t marry one) they’ll want a girl who’s also intellectual as well.
Nicole J I think some do but not all guys want a girl who’s just pretty and will stay at home and have sex with him. I think some will want a girl he also connects with & share the same passions with. If he doesn’t and just wants a girl like you said who will cook for him then unless you want that too it’s best to just move on and wait for the one that wants an intellect too.
I can't remember if this was touched on in the video, but anytime a Non-Basic (or should we call them an Extra?) goes after a Basic, chances are it's a validation thing. If the Extra gets with the Basic Bro or Bitch, that could potentially give them a level of popularity or legitimacy that that an Extra they have a better connection with could. The thing about Basics is that while they aren't trendy, they're VERY popular BECAUSE they're Basic. It's accessible, predictable, and there's nothing niche about them at all. Also, I do remember for awhile ago (about last year) when people were bragging about how Basic they were because as if it were something cool to aspire to. I didn't understand this at all until I realized that being Basic is a status symbol. I mean, when you think of someone who's Basic, what kind of person do you have in mind? Chances are they're white and have money. They pretty much have ALL the advantages in society! And let's face it, the only thing "cool" about a Basic Bro or Bitch is their bank account. You take away all that money, and suddenly no one wants to be a Basic or be with a Basic Bro or Bitch.
its so sad that youre thinking like this. all of the "basic" trends might be basic but people enjoy them!! you might think youre cooler because you do theatre or whatever, but newsflash, "basic" girls do cool as hell shit as well. a couple of my friends in sororities do rotc. uggs are warm. leggings are comfortable. starbucks tastes good. pumpkin spice lattes are also pretty good. i would bet real money that most of these basic bitches are better people than you. you're judging someone for the kind of fashion and pop culture they like. you arent better than them bc youre judging them like this. the difference between people like you (who call themselves "extra" i guess????) and people like me is that i dont actually give a shit about this anymore because we got over being "weird" in middle school.
guess what assholes! everyone is weird. try to befriend a "basic" bitch. i have loads of "basic" bitch friends (due to clubs). theyre in sororities. they drink starbucks. they wear thigh high boots and take sorority squat photos against instagram wall backgrounds. and theyre fun to talk to because they have cool interests, both in and outside of their major. theyre smart and they're good at their jobs. they are leaders in their social circles and do awesome extracurricular activities such as band and dance and rotc. they aren't insanely rich, and their financial status isn't generally anything remarkable. you don't measure up because your attitude is disgusting and off-putting. that's why people dont like you. maybe if you tried being kinder, you'd have a better shot
@@ishathakor This was posted so long ago so sorry for basically recessing the dead here but I have things to say about this. Maybe I'm wrong but most I feel like most people don't think they're "cooler" cuz they're not the "basic" sorority girl type, but they're still jealous because truly that is what the majority of guys go after. It gets annoying because it seems like if you fit that stereotype you get a free pass to anything you want in life and if you're a bit strange no one even looks at you in a romantic light. It's just really discouraging and I agree with you, it's super wrong to manifest this discouragement outward and be mean to these sort of girls. But also could you please just not with the grandous statements like sayin sorority girls are literally better people just cuz they're nice and bubbly and don't make waves because they don't have to? Understanding people is hard but it's usually really worth it, so maybe try understanding where people are coming from when they say "guys just don't want anyone but a basic girl" (I'm not gonna say bitch that's really rude imo) Being lonely is a powerful thing that turns good people to vindictive assholes sometimes, but a little bit of understanding goes a long way. From both sides, all girls "basic" and weird should all try to understand each other instead of being mean, guys are the problem tbh and we girls need to stick together, so don't get me wrong, I agree with you on a lot of counts here. Everyone should be themselves and for a lot of people that is being 'basic' and there's nothing wrong with that, but it doesn't make you better because you've stopped caring enough to try to be cool and edgy, some people really are strange, it's their true self and it gets a little annoying that it's not as accepted as other people's true version of themselves
Unless basic Is cute. As long as you're cute and rich, your life is fixed
@@ishathakor we've found the basic hefe
Shit. You’re right.
Guys who like “basic” chicks are usually insecure. Complexity intimidates them! basic girls are safe, predictable and therefore logically it means socially it’s going to kept them safe.
Interesting...
Don't try the "men like basic girls because they're insecure" to try and make yourself feel better. Men go for women who remind them of their mothers and because you don't fit that mould for that particular guy doesn't mean it's right for you to say they're "insecure" or that complexity intimidates them; how rude of you to assume. If you truly believe this then I have a hard time believing you're complex in any way and just insecure yourself.
Agree. And they are oh so boring for me. One cell man has nothing to attract me with.
Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck exactly
BumbleandGrumble I agree with you
Honestly what did I do before I watched Shallon
Ella Gray l was a hopeless mess
Idk but you single?
@@jq9585 lmfao!!! Hahahahaha
Literally been asking myself this
i watch her while eating my takeout
This doesn’t make me insecure because I’m only attracted to smart guys, and I find that smart guys like girls who are a little more interesting.
I like smart nerdy guys too. Doesn't matter how cute the guy is, if he's not intellectual in some way..im not interested :)
eva skrbinšek Same! I could never date a dumb guy
It’s called sapiosexual
Count me in
Here's my tribe!
I noticed in my 20s that many guys go for the girl they have the best chance of sleeping with. They can spot desperation and insecurity.
Yep, nobody has time to figure out female bullshit. Men don't care, we don't go out to endlessly talk to random fickle women. Men learn this young after wasting a tonne of time on fickle women
Chibuike Obinali Female bullshit, wow.
This is so true!
Makes the most sense lol
I feel you but I also feel like people choose people similar to them. So basic, average intelligence guys choose basic girls 🤷
Ivana Stjepanovic You’re probably right on that point. Maybe it just seems most people are of “basic average intelligence.” And that’s why it feels so lonely for us “weird” girls/women.
Ivana Stjepanovic yes
Nah there've been multiple studies that showed that successful men also go after cute basic chicks
I've notice the most smartest and sexist guys even married/dates the basic girls. Even the Hollywood world that's what I've notice
@@goldenmoon739 maybe because most of them see woman as trofees and they are also tend to be more submissive, wich is perfect for them because this type of girls would never be smarter than them, pure sexism
high school guys are like a single cell protozoa? OMG I'm laughing so hard!
You are SO SMART! Literally, this is such an underrated channel. But I’m also kinda happy about that coz I don’t want the general public to know the secrets that shallon tells us about society and dating ;)
Noob RUclipsrs agreed! I learn so much from just 20-30 minute videos! It’s amazing and I’m so thankful 😂
When I was in college, my friends and I were so perplexed. We would walk around campus in sweats, messy buns, no makeup, and get hit on SO MUCH. But on days we were dressed up (like had a presentation or church) there would be nothing! It was such a contrast and happened that way so much, we had to have a discussion about it. Why? So we think we figured it out! If we were dressed down, guys probably thought they could take us to Wendy's and have us order off that 99 cent menu and be happy about it. When we were dressed up, guys probably thought we were high maintenance, and they would have to step it up. Lol
no wonder why guys do not hit on me too much out in public, because I dress elegant and sophisticated
The same thing happens to me! Look like a mess, don't care, I'm just out going to do errands...BOOM! Men tend to talk to me. I put in some effort, nice sleek outfit, hair done nice, a little makeup....nothing. Funny how that works. I've always been told to look nice if I wanted to get someone's attention....🤔
Or maybe even though it is technically more good-looking to be in makeup and done up, for us, it may be more attractive if a girl is not doing all that.
“It’s divisible by 3” 😂😂😂
Low quality men go for low quality women... and generally low quality people have less of a hard time fitting in and finding people like them. Complex people have a harder time relating to basic people, and basic people don’t understand complex people and probably find them weird/scary/ intimidating
so true
Yessss love this comment, this had made me feel proud that I don’t fit in and can’t relate to these basic people
I completely agree with you however. I believe I'm a high quality female,i care about genuine connection and relationships and is waiting for the right person to loose my virginity to.
But still the last guy I dated pushed me really hard into getting me into bed but he could never get a piece of clothing off of me. We broke up within 15 days but I still feel like maybe I'm not high quality enough for a high quality man to be attracted to me
FYI I'm 18 and so is he
My husband was the frat guy. He could of dated any woman he wanted. But he loved my weirdness. He got tired of all the fake people. Despite his social abilities he prefers genuineness.
Lucky you!
Lmaoo
Well, you're also pretty (he's a lucky guy!!). But guys don't like weird ugly girls :(
@@usagi18 that's natural selection, sad but true, also I'm an ugly weird girl.
Sounds like a Netflix series starring Noah Centino
I think a lot of guys look at me and figure that I’m that basic girl, because I am really giggly and lighthearted AT THE SURFACE. Once I’m comfortable around someone I really love discussing psychology, science and religion; especially with people who have different beliefs than I do.
I don’t think my high school boyfriend could handle that- or handle the fact that I had complex emotions. Whenever I would open up to him, or just give my ~unpopular~ opinion he would seem to shut down- give me one or two word responses and immediately change the subject.
Shallon Lester haha true!😊
jajajaja been there lol wtf
His loss.
Isn't everyone multidimensional once you peel off the outer layers tho
GIRL SAME. I'm all about that deep stuff.
I seem to have the opposite problem. I go to high school in southern California, and all the girls that have boyfriends are the laid back, wear plain clothes, and wear little to no makeup. Then there’s me who has worn a full face of makeup since 8th grade, always have my hair done, and pretty much never wears sweatpants to class. So I feel like here the girls that are more easily digestible are the plain ones that look the same everyday, vs the girls like me who change up their look every day. Maybe I’m not “predictable” enough lol.
Shallon Lester thanks for the advice! my mom has said the same thing, boys are intimidated by very stylish girls hehe
Only low men don't go towards you because you are seen as better. Keep looking cute.❤❤
It's ok to be high maintenance, just ask yourself *who* you're doing it for. If it's because it makes *YOU* feel good, then go right ahead, there's nothing wrong with pampering yourself. If you are doing it for someone else, it can affect your self esteem, and eventually become a job. Bottom line, us high maintenance gals don't have to be apologetic if our morals match our exterior 😉.
Haley -if that's you in the picture Then you are beautiful!
First of all don't ever change for a guy!
Second I've noticed guys go for ugly woman because they are
A. Helping them with bills.
B. They don't want a beautiful girlfriend because they don't want some guy coming along and taking her.
C. Most guy's feel undeserving of beautiful women.
I grew up in southern California to and I've noticed this too.
i’m in college now (go to fashion school) and i was in the exact same situation when i was in high school
“Weird” and “basic” are so subjective too like in legally blonde Elle was the weirdo of Harvard. These ladies may need to hang with different crowds to find their men
Oops you touched on this after I commented! 😂
You look like Hillary Duff :)
Nigga why your chin built so strong. You look like a pitfall headass
I've always thought she looked like her too. Gorgeous. 🙂
OMG yes. I was wondering whom she resembles and now I see it.
Genesis Molina yes I was wondering when the Lizzie show started I thought I was watching Shallon😹
Hillary Duff and Busy Phillips might have mixed their DNA in beaker at a lab and Shallon was the outcome.
Why girls feel the need to tear down other girls for being ‘basic’ .... don’t guys already give us enough shit. Don’t be that “I’m not every other girl” and call conventionally attractive and trendy girls basic. This sounds like nice guys in reverse .
Morgan rhodes most of these basic girls are the ones who are running after guys and asking them out. Because of these basic bitches they are making guys lazy in regards to relationships. I despise these basic bitches and they should all be shipped to Antarctica and fucking freeze.
Yea she talks about basic but says she was Emo. The most basic thing you can do is label yourself.
phoenixflier25 is it ruining dating for you or are you just going after guys that don’t like you? If a man really likes you it won’t matter how much pussy is getting thrown at them. Stop hating other women b it’s not a good look.
phoenixflier25 that’s so negative to say lol
@@shallonlester wouldn't that make them just as thirsty, basic, and pathetic as them?
Omg you are the big sister I never had lmao
I'm 24 and never dated anyone lol. Guys like me at first (they are flirty and act different) but then we just become friends cause I'm too weird for them to think of me in a dating way :p
Girl, same 😂
welcome to my life, except no guys like me
Same; the friendzone is my realm
Samee
Girlllll sameeee
I love this video. I'm 36 and happily married, but I spent my entire 20s trying to "basic myself down" and hating it. I've always been nerdy and artsy, and wanted to wear my boho dresses and talk about exhibits at the MOMA, but it didn't work in my 20s dating life. However, I think that for young girls who don't know who they are yet and don't know who their type is, it's important to "dial down" the weirdness. Because it both helps you to connect with more types of people, and suffering through it actually taught me that maybe I need to date a nerd like me, and that is how I met my husband. We are nerds together, we watch Game of Thrones and visit art exhibits, but I had to go through "basicing myself down" to figure out who I need to be with.
Your still young
Super pathetic you have to go out of your way to put other girls down to make yourself feel better. Using my photos to gain views and generalize me when you've never actually met me and don't know anything about me. I feel sorry for you :/
Lindsay Brewer yes Linds!!!
I’m sorry she did that to you Lindsay, that’s bullshit that she generalized you
I agree.
lol your the girl in the thumbnail hahahaha ... holy shit this comment section is straight up TEA
So basically “wait your turn, they’ll grow up”
you're the best most real person to ever walk the earth. get it sis
God I love how real you are so funny but so smart!
I met my boyfriend when he had already graduated college and had a full time job. And I'm so happy. He was a typical frat boy in college so I'm really happy that I met him after that haha!
You know what’s funny is that I’m a 39 year old African American married mom of two little ones and I’m a subscriber. I think your advice is so important to young women today and I watch to keep up on all the new dating pit falls to give advice to the young women in my life and tell them to check you out.
I think guys also go after those girls because they have confidence, they’re pretty, and they’re easy. When they get older though, they’ll want a girl who has the whole package, pretty, smart, etc. and who’s on the same page as them.
NO.. Older men want really simple, beautiful women who are financially stable.
No judgement, just that they don't like much personality
Shallon can you please give more advice about dating post graduation (mid twenties)
Or for older audience in general?
Because this video was AMAZING
Love you ♥️
Shallon, would you answer career based questions? I want to know how you found your passion.
Shallon Lester I relate sooooo much to this video! I was changed for the basic average unoriginal standard generic ass sorority bitch :(
It would be so great to know which topics guys like to talk about. I am 21 just started dating and going crazy with this. Help me queeen
Shallon Lester You are amazing! (No need to reply to this message)
wow thank you so much, this actually helped me so much. And you've managed to articulate this without shading basic people? honestly I'm over being sad about being passed up for my skinny blonde friends, this really cheered me up!!
That song is "Here" by Alessia Cara, anyway please make more videos, they make my teen life better every time ❤❤❤
So very true love u shallon XOX
Eh it's kind of a pick me song.
iM nOt LiKe OtHeR gIrLs
I’ve noticed that people who don’t want to conform, they will go all out with being different. Just to prove a point. I’ve done that a few times too until I realized I was doing it as a defense mechanism.
Be yourself but try to be relatable and understandable haha
Shallon Lester yepppp. Not a good way to live your life.
Totally! I've so done that but now bot so much lol
I adore this look on you, it shows off your beauty and makes you look younger.
GIRL YOU ARE THE BEST GIRL FRIEND IVE BEEN NEEDING IN MY LIFE !!
There are advantages of growing up before RUclips and social media, but there are also disadvantages. I had to follow mom's advice "focus on school, not on looking pretty, mr right will find you, and love you just as you are", well, now I'm 37 and she's asking why she doesn't have grandkids.
I needed you back then, when I was younger and less ugly :(
Same...
all of these “basic” girls you’re talking about are still people with individual personalities...you can’t just sit there and say just because a girl is traditionally beautiful & well liked means she’s small minded and lesser than you. If a super model was on here saying this stuff about “weirder” girls there would be so much backlash. Love other women, they are not your competition.
I agree.
I agree with most of what you’re saying but I can also see what she means, I like the majority of the things she calls “basic” 😂 but I also resonate with te other parts, it’s almost like if you don’t fit this criteria you’re not worthy or it’s something wrong with you. It’s a cycle of hypocrisy the “basic” girls tear down the people who are not like them and viceversa.
M M that speaks more on you than them...having a superiority complex isn’t nice
@@shallonlester u just spent 20 mins cussing out "basic" girls.
19:53 girl watch the video
This makes so much sense. I’ve been going through a phase where I’m deeply insecure and frustrated by the girls who attract the most attention, and I would love to see a video on how to accept that a specific type of guy will just never be into you. I think a lot of my issues stem from an experience with a crush from my early teenage years who liked my friend. It seems trivial now, but for some reason it set up a lot of my self-perception even many years later.
I can relate to most of what you’re saying. As a latina nerd, I’ve experienced this phenomenon for quite a while. I think I’ll only find a weirdo like me after graduating from college, but that’s okay. 😄 I like being weird. 🤷🏻♀️
I now it is weird but this is the perfect video for my brother 😍👍 he always complains about the basic dudes getting all the girls
My mum was the basic girl (no college degree) and my dad had a good degree but he was not interested in the well-educated girls. I never understood why Dad didn't marry someone intelligent but now it makes so much sense. Thanks Shallon!
nowadays college degrees are worth nothing. There is a big possibility that your mum was more intelligent than many of the college educated so called "strong women".It was just different back then.And of course if a man has enough finance power why wouldn't he choose a nice woman who gives her all focus to her family
@@bansheee1 'Mum being intelligent' & 'strong woman'.. Hmm.. Mum always needed someone to lean on, like a saviour. Mum & Dad's relationship is more like Donald & Melania's relationship (Mum & Dad think Mark Zuckerberg & Priscilla Chan's relationship is an act). The only good thing about my mum was she dressed well and my Dad fell for her beauty. 'woman who gives her all focus to her family' Yeah, speak to my therapist, we're still dealing with the issues.
Same with my parents, but my mom hides how smart she is. I don’t think my dad knows her as a person; only as the ideal Christian trophy wife. I wonder if I’ll want to be married like that
Damn did you just call your mum dumb? Lmao
@@Belihoney Have I? Well, it's kinda dumb when you're mum makes wrong judgements while bringing you up.. What animal mother's do awful things to their own offsprings?
Kate Winslet/Drew Barrymore Vibes ❤️
Honestly, I agree so much with what you say about people with same experiences and points a view connect and attract each other.
However, I really believe that you should look for what vibes with you (in an honest way). For example, I’m extremely weird, I’m a loner, I have no filter and I have an odd humor - I’ve managed to attract men with the same traits and I love my life now. I date a lot and have very deep connections with these men, so I believe you can find the right people, but ya gotta look FOR the right people as well.
My ex husband said dumb girls are easier to be with. I was too analytical and smart for him. Boy bye!
Omg I just found you because I searched for “dumb sorority” because I love watching their stupid dances and songs and I love you already
This guy I became friends with were sort of talking for a bit and he invited me to parties and was flirting with me. All of a sudden he tells my friend he doesn’t want to do anything further and he hopes he’s not leading me on. Ever since then I’ve been distancing myself from him and now he’s trying to talk to me a lot more and I’m like ????
kels that’s someone who shallon would call a “social terrorist” run far away lmao
Stay away from him, speaking from experience :)
Guys love things that aren't easy to get, but mostly he's seeking for your attention. You were feeding his ego, now that you're gonehe doesn't want that to go away. You were his property but he was never yours from his perspective.
Make sure that your friend didn't lie to you 1st I've had this happen
wow I actually love you, this was probably the biggest eye opener, especially with what the guys eat and their relationships theory. I love fashion and being stylish but I agree that guys probably think I'm high maintence. I notice that all guys I'd go out with woul iventually turn me down, however!, they would say how great and smart and beautiful and funny i am.....so I always wonder, why don't they date me??? It makes so much sense though, they just probably think I'm too complicated.
I found the sentiment of this video to be really interesting and pretty analytical but the delivery to be extremely misogynistic. It's possible to explain this phenomenon without bringing down other girls like that :/
@What Not To Do At a Stoplight k
Women including far left "women have it so hard, the patriarchy, waa waa" always bring each other down. Y'all wanna play at sisterhood until the second another woman has a different opinion.
@@virtualarmageddon6232 I agree with Shallon? I just think that painting this "basic bitch" type of girl in this light and having an "I'm not like other girls" attitude is disrespectful. You're also being rude to me for having a different opinion so if you were really playing the voice of reason like you think you are you'd either be engaging me in a healthy and respectful convo or respecting my right to also have an opinion and not say anything at all. The difference is that one of our opinions brings women down and one doesn't. I'm unsure as to why you're hurting so much that you feel the need to come after me like that but I hope you find some peace have a nice day.
@@ashtonmirai preach!!! those girls are not basic, your 'i'm not like other girls' syndrome is!!
@@mousyblonde4727 ofc they are not all super basic, but she is right, they great majority is (men and women). They all dress the same, talk the same, smell the same, like the same things and date the same people (according to pop culture ). It's not a bad thing to be basic, u don't hurt anyone, it's just kind of sad that some people don't really try to explore and potentially change themselves during their 20s.
This reminded me of the movie “She’s All That” with Freddie Prinze Jr. 😅
Yikes. This is incredibly misogynistic. Have fun being *~different~*
okay honestly if you watch the whole thing,, she addresses pros and cons of being "basic" or "different" and then basically says that you should just follow what makes you happiest
I mean, I think it’s pretty obvious some people appear more shallow than others and that extends to dating. College is a breeding ground of people following what other people do.
Christina Otte With all due respect, I think we all know that was a last minute cop-out to make the entire video as a whole appear less shallow. It is one thing to explain why college relationships tend to be more superficial, but it is quite another to name an entire group of people as your basis for dumb and shallow. Moreover, to look down on these people under the guise of being “unique” is self-serving elitism. This isn’t to say that she didn’t have a few valid points - they were just not nearly substantial enough to justify the blatant misogyny she was espousing.
Shannon Of course there are a myriad of shallow people in college. But just like calling another woman ugly doesn’t make you more attractive, calling another woman (or group of women) “basic bitches” doesn’t give you any substance. As a college guy, I go for women who are intelligent, have a good identity to them, and a moral character. You could argue these are women of substance. I don’t know Shallon personally, so I can’t speak for how I’d interact with her, but I could never even be friends with a woman who has this mentality. Not to mention, her video is heavily reliant on being (ironically enough) outwardly judgmental enough to make a quick, two-second assessment on who can be considered a “basic shallow bitch”. Nothing more superficial than making this character judgment based on arbitrary characteristics ie being in a sorority and having “trendy” clothes.
Alex Bailey are you single?
I am a 45 y.o, morally conservative, Middle Eastern woman and you totally resonate with me. Love you shallon. You are adorable. Plus I love how you crack yourself up. I think you are good with guys because you are in your feminism energy, your beautiful friend is in her masculine energy.
I live 40 minutes from a major college from the south that my best friend goes to while I occasionally visit. You hit the nail on the head.
Really insightful analysis! Also, I loved the show "Tough Love"...so many truth bombs dropped.
Idk I appreciate all the thought and care that went into this video, but I really feel like it oversimplifies a lot of women. I guess I just thought we were beyond pitting ourselves against our sisters out of jealousy because boys pay more attention to them?
I think it's human nature tbh
Guys compete over women too. It’s not just women that get jealous over guys. It’s basic human nature to fight over a mate it’s literally in our dna. We may not like it but it’s always gonna happen.
I think it's first of all simplifying the problem to make it clear and also basic from other people's perspective
Its human nature since the bronze age. Men are the same. Its all based on psychology. It really has nothing to do about pitying against each other as much as it may seem.
I didn't see any pitting against other women. I saw psychology so that we can understand how people, men and women think and behave.
I like your style Shallon. I agree with what you were saying, if you’re not dressing in a way that’s YOU, you’ll feel and look not so good... My personal style has always been chic tomboy. I cover up the goods and I like subtle sexy, not LOUD sexy. I’ve stayed true to that and I always get compliments on my style, just because it’s me and no one else that I’m trying to be. 😉
i know this is an old video, but honestly this is so helpful. you seem so wise
Just be yourself! Being “basic” literally has nothing to do with peoples true identity.
If someone wants to present as “basic” or “weird”, cool. That doesn’t say much about who they really are.
I was a sorority girl, but always kind of a weird girl too. I’m a writer now do my weirdness makes sense. I asked a guy recently if he thought I was weird. He said yes, but he likes it. Go figure 🤷🏻♀️
Shallon Lester I could not agree more!
I think this video does a good job of explaining why I'm so much better with older dudes than with guys my age!
Yesssss I get to start my day listening to a genius
❤This video!! I've always wondered this all the time but no one could answer or expain it to me!! Its a bit frustrating but truth. You keep it real and straight to the point.
Lol, well.. everything i like are trends but I liked and wore them _literally_ right bEFORE it becomes a trend 🤷🏻♀️ its like I'm a natural trend psychic 😂😂😂
Me too
To me, I think the core message is that you shouldn't be showcasing one aspect of your personality solely for the purpose of attracting someone. The relationship should be natural to begin with, right? What's. Natural about putting one side of a four dimensional object on display? People will see the rest when they walk around the object, just like men will see the rest when they hang around you, but no one wants to see more when we present ourselves as one dimensional. Be odd, goofy, extra, whatever, but let it be natural. Be serious when it's time to be serious and sensitive when it's time to be sensitive, and don't base your value as a partner around the one quality in yourself that you think the opposite sex (or same, whatever you like) will be most attracted to. When you start stereotyping them, they start stereotyping you. Present yourself as a human, not a single persona.
And honestly, do you *really* wanna go for someone who spends his time with vapid women? Your pick, just remember that hot ≠ good match.
I totally get this. It's the Aquarius. LOL
Omg she is janurary 23
I have a question for you Shallon! What would you do differently if you were back in high school or college right now? Do you have any regrets? I am super curious!!
I needed this so much ohmygod
You’ve analyzed this phenomenon perfectly. Couldn’t have been said better. Yes and this goes for all guys, even older men who’d you think would have matured haven’t. A lot of men want simple woman because anything else is just too complicated, too much to think about for their little brains lol.
I really appreciate this I’m 22 and I only have had 1 boy friend that didn’t last long but I am definitely weird. And theres nothing wrong with being weird or basic but this really gave me perspective and makes so much sense. Thank you!
They just want a trophy on their arm.
Explains why I could never find a guy at uni loooool
Tell yourself that sis 👍
I wish I found this channel back when I was in college
I was an ugly duckling until about 18 and I constantly felt so annoyed that I was 'different' and wore kind of hippie/boho clothes and people made fun of me relentlessly. I resented these kinds of girls SO MUCH because I thought that all guys wanted this type. But then when I got older I realized that these girls are people just like me. They aren't better than me and I'm not better than them. We are just different. Men who just want a girlfriend to be hot and flatter their ego aren't even my type at all. I want a guy who is well rounded and not just 'one thing' and those are the types of guys who go for me. I would probably die of boredom if I was with the stereotypical 'frat boy jock'. Once you exit the highschool/college sphere you realize that a huge group of men are actually turned off by these girls even to the point that their hotness isn't worth spending actual time with them. At the end of it, the basic guys and girls can live with each other and be perfectly happy...and I can appreciate them when I want a fun but predictable good time.
Hot pocket experience! Haha! Soooo soooo true! Keep it up! 😂👏
Im extremely complicated and i don't want a man who doesnt love it from the first second!
Been with my man 6 years and he got me on day one 🙃
Sending you much love Shallon! Have a great day!
Ugh love all your videos been watching you for years!!!
This makes so much sense though! Like I know I have a great personality but I know I’m quirky different and weird / so a gamble!
I also was an a chi o hahahahaa
Idk how tf I got to this video but here’s my perspective as a frat guy.
She’s basically 80% right. College is 4 years, most of us don’t want to commit. Why spend 4 months working on discovering a couple non conventional girls when I could be easily getting 10+ “basic” girls, that are as routine as brushing my teeth. Not objectifying here, I’m convinced they feel the same way about men.
Shallon, you are the cooler sister I never had. I love the confidence and positivity focus you present. My absolute favorite thing about your videos would be the actual advice and practical solutions you provide. This year, I want to level up my life in key areas of career and relationships. Thank you for the content you have covered. It has given me some serious motivation to step up in the areas that need improvement.
Eh no, most men never move beyond this stage of development. To be fair, most women don't either. People want easy lives. It's why I'm alone and will be alone for the rest of my life. It's why most people have mediocre careers, etc. If you want easy, you'll get it, but may not get much out of it.
I also love when basic women call themselves weird. No, you aren't weird. If you are reading this right now, you probably aren't weird. I'm ugly, been that was since I exited my mother's womb, people let me know constantly. If you are "weird", trust me, people went out their way to tell you and you aren't going to be listening to someone like her. She's not for you, she's for pretty and young people. Move along, we have real problems people like this cannot help with. They have no understanding of who we are and the lives we have lived. Therapy is for us. Furthermore, most of what you are talking about require money. No poor people don't get move around and travel everywhere. That doesn't make them boring. WTF? And please stop using "like" as filler. I'm sure she's a nice person, but she's not for people with real problems. And I dress like an elementary art school teacher, I'm not changing that, screw men.
You are amazing. Great explanation
please tell me what fall out boy song is about you omg
yt put this in my recommended and i checked it out today, dang you are woke! definitely a helpful message for boys and girls
Trendiness is secondary to hotness, always. A good body trumps good style. Guys just want a bangin bod, which makes sense, but can be a depressing truth if you’re putting effort into a cool outfit. If you have a flat stomach and a juicy ass, whatever outfit accentuates your hotness is the one guys will gravitate to lol
This was a great video! Really glad I found it today♥️
Thought she was gonna say some metal band and then she goes and say my chemical romance like that isn’t basic Lmaoo loved the video tho
I wouldn't call it basic but I'd say popular for sure haha. and there are popular metal bands as well.. I feel like basic would be like the music you hear all the time on the radio and in stores and stuff? idk
Shallow, great advice. Also I love you’re hair wavy! Love from Australia x
10:50 was totally me in high school and in college i attempted to revamp my look and i found an amazing guy who actually liked me despite my weirdness and weird interests. We are total opposites but it just worked, i think because we were both open minded to trying to like each other's interests. In high school I knew the " popular " boys were SECRETLY into the same things i was but we never worked out because we each had ridiculous standards for our partners.
Instant subscriber! I’ve clicked so fast when I saw this video in my feed. Girl, you’re awesome! Greetings from Romania ❤️
Listen if you’re one of those stylish girls. On rare occasion dress down. My friend did that and boy did all the boys go crazy. Desirable and relatable at the same time. Just find the balance
what do you wear ?
I have the problem in that there are two parts of my personality that are very different. On one hand, I'm a very emotional, artistic/creative person with a lot of niche interests, and on the other, I'm conservative politically and Christian. I get rejected by Christian men because I'm not a basic Barbie, and I get rejected by artsy weirdos like me because of my beliefs. Both of these parts of me are too important to push aside or pretend aren't there, so I've just kind of given up hope that I'm going to find anyone like myself. Cause no matter what, people don't like me.
I love that you cover things I'm not even thinking about. I feel more educated.
Shallon: Don't wear crop tops if you go to Syracuse. It's weird. It's cold up there.
Me, who wears crop tops and goes to Syracuse: ...wig
Laura Lance I felt this SU girls iron skin snowstorm who? Idk her 💅💅
shallon this video is criminally underrated
Sometimes shallon sounds like she lives her reality based on Gossip Girl, which is a bit sad considering she's over 30. I find this video to be very much geared towards high school and college ages 17-23.
"Weird art girl" , "different" etc. Lol what??? People have real life problems and issues as adults. No one cares if you're wearing the right PINK bedazzled velour sweatpants and push-up bra.
Ladies you should always take care of yourself to the best of your ability. Buy yourself nice clothes, groom your appearance, etc. But you should also be comfortable and do what you like. Guys are attracted to confidence and girls who like themselves. You don't have to try to be anything. It's not that hard to get a boyfriend.
yes she makes me feel bad in this video for being 'done up'. I love dressing feminine, looking good etc. but I also have a lot of darkness and depth to my character. A lot of people think that pretty girls are dumb or shallow. Just because somebody takes pride in his/hers appereance doesnt mean this person is dumb/shallow. It hurts me so much when people hate me for no reason because of my looks. In the darkest times, when I was depressed because of my abusive home, all I had was putting on makeup and nice clothes as my escape
Shallon: first of all I love you! To all the others. I highly recommend you to study in Europe because here it is the other way around. University guys go to slam poetry, eat healthy and love off cinema movies. I u are this random sorority ( I had to look up that word I am German ;-)) kind of girl u will defenitly not date anyone from a University in Berlin Florence or Paris. So girls stay weired and live abroad to study. Here the weired is the normal
Weirdness? You aren't weird, you are a very smart person.
Your capacity to understand the space around you is unbelievable.
Obviously you need to be stimulated, and with a basic man you get bored, because a cell with a computer...don't work.
You a very smart, you make me think about things that I never had noticed.
Damn
Bless your reference to Alessia cara. I've thought that for the last few years and now have the words to communicate why.
Same, she sounds so damn whiny in that song 🤣🙄
I am loving the upgraded format! I always love hearing what you have to say! and Nivea is great right!?
Yeah cuz my chemical romance, animals, and artsy movies are “edgy” “alternative” and don’t Forget!! “Weird”. So different THAN ALL THE OTHER BASIC GIRLS!
The term is Stacy
You are amazing I’m soooooooo glad I have stumbled upon your channel 😍😂
But Sorority Girls are typically fit, trendy and gorgeous, they care about their looks. If that means basic, then i'll take the basic title too while having all the hot college boys in my dm's lmao! 💖✨
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We as women shouldn't think of basic as a bad thing or continue to categorize ourselves unless we don't mind Men categorizing Women? Yes, there are classes of people; High class and Low class. We are all women and we all deserve to feel amazing about ourselves. Women are enough, as we are, but we should definitely be the best versions of ourselves.
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Sorry this is a little off topic but I thought other women should read this. 💕
Yea, some ppl are just jealous of these types of girls and don’t get why guys like them
Nicole A it’s not jealous, I wouldn’t trade my looks and personality for being a blonde bimbo, but it just frustrates me that guys are so superficial and small minded to go for girls who are complete airheads and bitches instead of girls who are intelligent and unique. I mean some of these girls are so fake and lack substance but guys don’t care as long as she has an ass and ditzy personality
Guys go after girls for those reasons you listed but when they leave college (if they didn’t marry one) they’ll want a girl who’s also intellectual as well.
Lulu Love Most guys don’t care that much about intellect. They care about looks and cooking
Nicole J I think some do but not all guys want a girl who’s just pretty and will stay at home and have sex with him. I think some will want a girl he also connects with & share the same passions with. If he doesn’t and just wants a girl like you said who will cook for him then unless you want that too it’s best to just move on and wait for the one that wants an intellect too.