I had an ex that kept reaching out to get together but always was “too busy” with work. It took me awhile to realize that if he wanted to make time to get together he would!!!!
@@laurac86 Ya sounds like he just wanted his ego stroked by seeing if he still had you on the hook. Guy I stopped seeing is doing similar shit. He doesn't give a f about me at all, he just cant stand that I stopped chasing him and have had it with his games.
It should take more than 2-3 texts for a girl to reply. One text doesn’t cut it for me. Men need a solution to their dick problem and female need to make it tougher than anything else they experienced.
@@Telegrm-t_OnlyPwr No one should have to practically beg you to respond by sending 3 text messages at once though. Of course people are told not to do that exact thing because otherwise they'll come across as desperate. Men are just going to assume that you're not interested and move on to someone who will actually show interest in talking to them.
SUMMARY 1. don’t text him first 2. stick to a character count 3. don’t use emojis 4. don’t answer a question he didn’t ask and keep it short 5. don’t ask two questions in a row 6. never send nudes
These videos have legit changed my life. I feel a difference in myself and my dating life with your advice. I’ve gotten similar words of wisdom but watching your videos have really kicked me into gear. Thank you so much Shallon!! 💛
Listen to this woman! Her advice might end up saving you from a divorce one day. Today's crush can easily turn into future ex-husband from hell. I'm so glad my mom always said never chase after a boy and much less never fight over one. If some other girl wants him and he's "torn", then buh-bye!
"It's about equality, gir -" "It is not." 😂 This channel should have been in my life about 10 years back already. That would have safed me a loooo(...)t of time.
I’ve spent the last month binge watching your videos to help me get over a guy. It helped enough to attract a new guy into my life & we are in the texting phase so THANK UUUU for everything 💓💓💓
also pro tip: IF you choose to send a nude, watermark it. you can download an app for it. Just watermark it with something like "sent to [his name], not allowed to share". So that he can't leak it online without being called out for it.
I feel you on the nudes thing. I'll never ever send em. Even in a relationship I'd never do it. And yeahh people love to say you never know until you're in the situation...but this is literally a non negotiable.
When she was imitating the tone in how girls text... “I don’t want anyone to be mad, are you in a good mood? ME TOO! I created the MOOD.” I Laughed out loud .
I knew my ex was a super narcissist, but I never knew to what level till I watched your videos. Thank u for doing what u do and being your authentic self omg if I learned what I’ve learned from your videos when I was younger I could have avoided so much bullshit and heart ache. Your videos should truly be a requirement for every adolescent girl. Your videos should be taught as a class in high school not only for girls, boys could benefit from your videos too. Your so well spoken and a inspiration for anyone trying to learn about themselves in a introspective way.
Shallon, I have notes in my phone from your videos. I’ve learned so much and have a completely different outlook on basically everything when it comes to dating. I’m currently working on myself & staying single but in a couple years when I’m ready to date and I enter my next relationship I’ll report back. 😊
Thanks Shallon - that’s all so true ... and still we wrestle with ourselves about texting first and because men are wired the way they are that puts us on the back foot for an unequal relationship - men being men! Like you I’ve done it all more often than I like to admit to myself and every time it was the wrong (destructive) thing for me. We need for our own self esteem to resist resist resist. The end result will be the same but we keep our sanity and that’s a good result. It leaves you in a vulnerable position and not emotionally healthy for a woman. A quality man doesn’t play that nasty game.
I’m not texting first and I’m not giving my number unless 1) the guy asks and 2) I actually want to talk to him. I think to myself “would I ever want to propose to a man?” No! So in a smaller scale example, I’m not asking a man to talk to me, pay attention to me, ask me questions, etc.
I catch myself all the time trying to find excuses why a guy doesn't text like he doesn't know what to say, he wants me to text him to show I care etc but in the end the question is why doesn't he feel the need to prove himself to you, why is he just going on living without the urge to reach out and realize it's his responsibility to show he cares? I'm convinced now most guys would‘t even expect that if they like and respect you. It goes against the natural male- female dynamic if you have to run after him instead of him trying to get what he considers a woman that’s worth it. Males of every species court women. It’s that simple and like you said everything else is indication of indifference or mind games.
Thank you for this video! Everything you’re saying not to do or avoid I’m either dealing with or I’ve done. Lesson’s learned and I’m NEVER allowing it again. Here’s to being smarter and wiser.
I related to this so much. Like everything you said, I was like "She is so right." and I could think about a scenario in my life that was a great example of what you were talking about. Thanks Shallon! Please don't stop making videos I LOVE your videos! :)
I have seen so many of the dating advice created by guys but your series spoke to me! Completely hitting the spot in all areas. I so wished I have known about wat you said waay earlier.. No matter where guys are from, they act the same way universally
I m also a hahahaha-er, and the last guy I hung out with was a Lol-er, he used to use LoL at the end of every text. I pointed it out to him that he uses Lol a lot (sorta made fun about it) and for a while I had started using LoL whenever I wanted to end a conversation with him.
I have used lol a lot but in an ironic way because lol is so ridiculous thing to add on messages, or use in conversation, but now I think I'm going to stop it 😂😂😂
Thank you so much for this video❤️ it helped me realize that the guy I was dating at the time just wasn’t that invested so him breaking up with me wasn’t my fault
Your videos helped me realize good guys fuckboys in my life, and I need to let them go. Cause I need to make room for quality guys in my life. Just like you said, the one who sees my values. Thanks alot, Shallon ❤️
hahaha! "shuckin' and jivin'"!! Yes, I was laughing out loud! Great vid Shallon! I just found you last week. I appreciate you bringing up these good points. It blows my mind at how much I gave away in the past compared to how little I got.
If he likes you enough and he wants to get to know you and potentially have a thing with you HE will text you first he will go and get what he wants its so true overtime iv made the first step its never gone anywhere because he isn't that interested
Not texting a guy first for sure Will consciously try to not chase them, it's just that when someone shows interest in me I get attached sort of but I keep tab I do let it effect me. Now I am trying to get chilled w it as much as possible. I have this fear that he will lose interest in me and whatever.
I wanted to talk to this guy cause I'm stressed because college and familiy problems so I'm rewatching Shallon's videos to remember that iit doesn't worth it. Love u, big sis
Those men are probably used to girls being "cool" and "fun", no pressure so if you are the one to put boundaries and more serious about dating they think you're the problem. Women lost their self worth and guys know they'll find another one that will put up with their BS in no time especially with so many hook up opportunities. It's hard to find someone that likes you for you, not just bc you‘re the next best thing and easy
I’ve stopped responding and he keeps messaging. “You can be a nice guy fuck boy” yes you’re a loveable rouge but are you good for my mental health 👀. I actual feel in control for the first time with guys and this is a stark difference to the me with guys last year when I just started watching you! Thank you big sister Shallon xx (I just laughed out loud at the Simba singing but I refuse to use “lol” too)
It is funny how as a fuck boy manipulator I have purposefully ignored women or reserved my emotions. In reality what I wanted was to make the women who ignored me want me more. Its shitty but it has worked. I wanted to give women the challenge that they wanted. Maybe your videos can help me grow a little.
I really feel like saying things like “an alpha male would chase you, etc...” is a form of toxic masculinity. For one, I do not need a man chasing me, he can chase me when I let him into my life, but until then, establishing that pretense sets men up at a place of power where he gets to decide if he wants you or not. Some men take this too far and chase a women to the point that is stalkerish, scary and disrespectful especially after she has said no. Second, being an “alpha male” is a social construct. At the end of the day, all that matters is how your person is like. Some men are just naturally aggressive, some are passive. My man for example, is the silent stoic type, and he is also super shy when it comes to romance. He would almost never text me first in the time he was getting comfortable with me so it left me to reach out to him. That being said, this whole dynamic puts too much pressure on some men and has women relying too much on them. Women need to start showing interest in a very subtle way (disguise your interest under an interesting topic, make it so subtle he can’t tell) first and looking for a response. Sometimes the response is platonic, sometimes it isn’t even there (take a hint then🤣). Regardless, the main thing is to make sure you’re seducing him (physically, intellectually and/or emotionally) and pushing and pulling with him (sometimes you’ll text him first with high energy, sometimes you’ll wait for him). It’s all about balance and more often for the women it’s all about playing a subtle and enticing game of seduction. Don’t be afraid to text him first!
The thing with sending pics, if you're inclined. Always wear, bra, undies or cosy (they're more provocative and sexy anyway). Do not include full head shot so that you cannot be identified if things go south 😁
“If he’s not texting you, it’s because he doesn’t want to” - 🙌🏼 remember this, ladies! (Myself included!)
I had an ex that kept reaching out to get together but always was “too busy” with work. It took me awhile to realize that if he wanted to make time to get together he would!!!!
@@laurac86 Ya sounds like he just wanted his ego stroked by seeing if he still had you on the hook. Guy I stopped seeing is doing similar shit. He doesn't give a f about me at all, he just cant stand that I stopped chasing him and have had it with his games.
I have literally lost contact with guys because they haven't texted me first
I don't regret 😌
I literally cannot text or message first I just can't.
Yessss!!!
I have blocked dudes for "hi" No time for that bs u can't form a sentence? Boy bye!
It should take more than 2-3 texts for a girl to reply. One text doesn’t cut it for me. Men need a solution to their dick problem and female need to make it tougher than anything else they experienced.
@@Telegrm-t_OnlyPwr No one should have to practically beg you to respond by sending 3 text messages at once though. Of course people are told not to do that exact thing because otherwise they'll come across as desperate. Men are just going to assume that you're not interested and move on to someone who will actually show interest in talking to them.
"guys start wars.. let him text you first" ... love you shallon🤣
SUMMARY
1. don’t text him first
2. stick to a character count
3. don’t use emojis
4. don’t answer a question he didn’t ask and keep it short
5. don’t ask two questions in a row
6. never send nudes
Why can’t we use emojis
@@samarztk to keep him chasing you! if you show everything fun in the first place they'll get bored fast☺
@@samarztk It's childish!
These videos have legit changed my life. I feel a difference in myself and my dating life with your advice. I’ve gotten similar words of wisdom but watching your videos have really kicked me into gear. Thank you so much Shallon!! 💛
Totally agree 👏🏽
Same!
same! I wish had seen this video when i was 17, it would have saved me from so many heartbreaks, especially when it comes to "passive reciprocation".
“Dont ever sent nudes to a guy, EVER” -Shallon Lester
Truer words have never been spoken, a true queen!
Listen to this woman! Her advice might end up saving you from a divorce one day. Today's crush can easily turn into future ex-husband from hell. I'm so glad my mom always said never chase after a boy and much less never fight over one. If some other girl wants him and he's "torn", then buh-bye!
On dates I dont care if there is a veeeeeeery long silence. If he’s not putting the effort let there be silence lol
I do that on the phone but Idk if that's. Rude I used to try hard but I stopped
"It's about equality, gir -"
"It is not."
😂
This channel should have been in my life about 10 years back already. That would have safed me a loooo(...)t of time.
I’ve spent the last month binge watching your videos to help me get over a guy. It helped enough to attract a new guy into my life & we are in the texting phase so THANK UUUU for everything 💓💓💓
But did you text first?
@@544CampStreet Never!
@@erikaenchante Have fun dying alone.
also pro tip: IF you choose to send a nude, watermark it. you can download an app for it. Just watermark it with something like "sent to [his name], not allowed to share". So that he can't leak it online without being called out for it.
This is GENIUS!
They can still leak it tho
“Hey, I just saw a dog!” I was in stitches! You know the younger me so well! 😂😂
I've been asked for nudes so many times my answer has always been "no". They trade it like Pokemon cards. They do. Don't get it twisted.
The nudes conversation needs to be LOUDER FOR THOSE IN THE BACK
I feel you on the nudes thing. I'll never ever send em. Even in a relationship I'd never do it. And yeahh people love to say you never know until you're in the situation...but this is literally a non negotiable.
shallon: “emojis are for little asian girls”
me: wait...i’m a little asian girl tho..?
So can we use emojis? 😃
little asian girls can be FIERCE AF
Exactly lmao love my emojis gives me the feeling of emotion in my texts.
When she was imitating the tone in how girls text... “I don’t want anyone to be mad, are you in a good mood? ME TOO! I created the MOOD.”
I Laughed out loud .
So funny you said "I am big sister" cause that's what me and my friends call you
"Emojis are for little Asian girls", but I AM a little Asian girl Shallon! Ahaha love your videos too much I am on a binge watch train right now
I knew my ex was a super narcissist, but I never knew to what level till I watched your videos. Thank u for doing what u do and being your authentic self omg if I learned what I’ve learned from your videos when I was younger I could have avoided so much bullshit and heart ache. Your videos should truly be a requirement for every adolescent girl. Your videos should be taught as a class in high school not only for girls, boys could benefit from your videos too. Your so well spoken and a inspiration for anyone trying to learn about themselves in a introspective way.
Shallon, I have notes in my phone from your videos. I’ve learned so much and have a completely different outlook on basically everything when it comes to dating. I’m currently working on myself & staying single but in a couple years when I’m ready to date and I enter my next relationship I’ll report back. 😊
This is so truee!!
I stopped asking this guy questions unless he asked me some!
And I NEVER EVER EVER text guys first !
Big sister Shallon 🙌 we have needed you since the beginning of time. Thank you for these videos
Thanks Shallon - that’s all so true ... and still we wrestle with ourselves about texting first and because men are wired the way they are that puts us on the back foot for an unequal relationship - men being men! Like you I’ve done it all more often than I like to admit to myself and every time it was the wrong (destructive) thing for me. We need for our own self esteem to resist resist resist. The end result will be the same but we keep our sanity and that’s a good result. It leaves you in a vulnerable position and not emotionally healthy for a woman. A quality man doesn’t play that nasty game.
I have never had anyone explain this to me as well as you have. Thank you.
I’m not texting first and I’m not giving my number unless 1) the guy asks and 2) I actually want to talk to him. I think to myself “would I ever want to propose to a man?” No! So in a smaller scale example, I’m not asking a man to talk to me, pay attention to me, ask me questions, etc.
When men asks me for a pic, I send a pic of something random... or if they ask for a specific pic, I'll Google it and send that.
Best video EVER about the very beginnings of a potential relationship! A MUST watch to avoid fooling yourself! 🙌😀😍😘
I catch myself all the time trying to find excuses why a guy doesn't text like he doesn't know what to say, he wants me to text him to show I care etc but in the end the question is why doesn't he feel the need to prove himself to you, why is he just going on living without the urge to reach out and realize it's his responsibility to show he cares? I'm convinced now most guys would‘t even expect that if they like and respect you. It goes against the natural male- female dynamic if you have to run after him instead of him trying to get what he considers a woman that’s worth it. Males of every species court women. It’s that simple and like you said everything else is indication of indifference or mind games.
Your make up looks extra good today
needed this to confirm I am texting an F boy correctly! It turns out, I was naturally following all of these steps! great advice
Thank you for this video! Everything you’re saying not to do or avoid I’m either dealing with or I’ve done. Lesson’s learned and I’m NEVER allowing it again. Here’s to being smarter and wiser.
I make every single mistake here, except for sending selfies.
I related to this so much. Like everything you said, I was like "She is so right." and I could think about a scenario in my life that was a great example of what you were talking about. Thanks Shallon! Please don't stop making videos I LOVE your videos! :)
I have seen so many of the dating advice created by guys but your series spoke to me! Completely hitting the spot in all areas. I so wished I have known about wat you said waay earlier.. No matter where guys are from, they act the same way universally
I guess I get a pass since I’m a “little Asian girl” I’m gonna use all the emojis in my bio ❤️🤗🌈😘😁👍🏻
I m also a hahahaha-er, and the last guy I hung out with was a Lol-er, he used to use LoL at the end of every text. I pointed it out to him that he uses Lol a lot (sorta made fun about it) and for a while I had started using LoL whenever I wanted to end a conversation with him.
I have used lol a lot but in an ironic way because lol is so ridiculous thing to add on messages, or use in conversation, but now I think I'm going to stop it 😂😂😂
Shallon is the friend we all women need ❤️💕you’re videos have helped me a lot , you have no idea . Thanks !😘
This should be played in schools it's so good.
I’ve watched videos of man giving advices for dating but hearing it from a woman is totally different n hits hard ❤️
Saving this for my "Dating" playlist 👌great advice, again! 🤗 I'm half way through the video but I already know this is GOLD
Dont overthink it ladies. If he doesnt respond in kind, he doesn't want you, want you. Move on or tell him if you're looking for something more.
I have no idea what I am learning from these vids but I sure am learning a lot of vocab
I just love you so much for being the big honest and loving sister I never had. Thank you so much Shallon ❤️
Great video! You have a way of making things crystal clear.
I hope you know how amazing you're ♥️😭 I've been doing it the wrong way all this time DAMN😂 man keep giving us this quality content. X
One smiley face when he nervously asks you to hang out when he comes back to town in a few days...won't kill an aloof vibe, however 😁 excellent video
Thank you so much for this video❤️ it helped me realize that the guy I was dating at the time just wasn’t that invested so him breaking up with me wasn’t my fault
"Captain save a conversation" lmao OMG love that
Your videos helped me realize good guys fuckboys in my life, and I need to let them go. Cause I need to make room for quality guys in my life. Just like you said, the one who sees my values. Thanks alot, Shallon ❤️
hahaha! "shuckin' and jivin'"!! Yes, I was laughing out loud! Great vid Shallon! I just found you last week. I appreciate you bringing up these good points. It blows my mind at how much I gave away in the past compared to how little I got.
I literally love u and admire you so much ! Love the things you have to say!
Girl your speech about equality gave me liiiife
Noooooooooo nudes is good news. Never ever text first. No lol or emoji. Keep it small and simple. Don't just vomit everything in a text.
I am in awe every time I watch ur videos because I have never realized how right you are.
My new best friend i didnt know i needed!
I've been saying EXACTLY what you said about him always texting first. Makes so much sense
“Hey...I just saw some people walking upright...I know you do too” Hahahaha
If he likes you enough and he wants to get to know you and potentially have a thing with you HE will text you first he will go and get what he wants its so true overtime iv made the first step its never gone anywhere because he isn't that interested
Yes yes yes on that “equality” excuse!!! So true. Get my money right then I’ll text first.
I get where you're coming from with the "lol" thing (and I agree), but goodness, your chihuahua joke made me actually "laugh out loud!"
I genuinely can't 'like' this enough just found your videos today so good!
Not texting a guy first for sure
Will consciously try to not chase them, it's just that when someone shows interest in me I get attached sort of but I keep tab I do let it effect me. Now I am trying to get chilled w it as much as possible. I have this fear that he will lose interest in me and whatever.
Damn, I needed to hear this
“Emojis are for little Asian girls” HAHAHAH
You're inspirational Shallon! Thank you for the advice!
Love your Long videos ... So refreshing!!
That’s soo true I’m always filling in the silence and ask way to many questions I need to stop lol I love ur channel girl u are amazing 🙏💜
Where was Shallon when I was in my prime years?
You're prime baby! Never too old!
I wanted to talk to this guy cause I'm stressed because college and familiy problems so I'm rewatching Shallon's videos to remember that iit doesn't worth it.
Love u, big sis
shallon i did most of your tips about dealing with men.. but i've notice men get threat by me and start to hate me 🤔
Those men are probably used to girls being "cool" and "fun", no pressure so if you are the one to put boundaries and more serious about dating they think you're the problem. Women lost their self worth and guys know they'll find another one that will put up with their BS in no time especially with so many hook up opportunities. It's hard to find someone that likes you for you, not just bc you‘re the next best thing and easy
I’ve stopped responding and he keeps messaging. “You can be a nice guy fuck boy” yes you’re a loveable rouge but are you good for my mental health 👀. I actual feel in control for the first time with guys and this is a stark difference to the me with guys last year when I just started watching you! Thank you big sister Shallon xx (I just laughed out loud at the Simba singing but I refuse to use “lol” too)
I looove your makeup here 😍
It is funny how as a fuck boy manipulator I have purposefully ignored women or reserved my emotions. In reality what I wanted was to make the women who ignored me want me more. Its shitty but it has worked. I wanted to give women the challenge that they wanted. Maybe your videos can help me grow a little.
love you, big sis! thanks for the tips - from Seoul, South Korea
i feel compassion towards girls from this generation. technology has limit their ability to read people and their games.
I really feel like saying things like “an alpha male would chase you, etc...” is a form of toxic masculinity. For one, I do not need a man chasing me, he can chase me when I let him into my life, but until then, establishing that pretense sets men up at a place of power where he gets to decide if he wants you or not. Some men take this too far and chase a women to the point that is stalkerish, scary and disrespectful especially after she has said no.
Second, being an “alpha male” is a social construct. At the end of the day, all that matters is how your person is like. Some men are just naturally aggressive, some are passive. My man for example, is the silent stoic type, and he is also super shy when it comes to romance. He would almost never text me first in the time he was getting comfortable with me so it left me to reach out to him.
That being said, this whole dynamic puts too much pressure on some men and has women relying too much on them. Women need to start showing interest in a very subtle way (disguise your interest under an interesting topic, make it so subtle he can’t tell) first and looking for a response. Sometimes the response is platonic, sometimes it isn’t even there (take a hint then🤣). Regardless, the main thing is to make sure you’re seducing him (physically, intellectually and/or emotionally) and pushing and pulling with him (sometimes you’ll text him first with high energy, sometimes you’ll wait for him). It’s all about balance and more often for the women it’s all about playing a subtle and enticing game of seduction.
Don’t be afraid to text him first!
This informarion is GOLD!
Every woman needs to see this video.
Bravo! You are so humorous, I like it ! Straight to the point.Emojis are for little Asian girls!Totally!
Hi I just wanted to say hi and that I randomly found you via RUclips recommendations...and I’m so happy I did.
this video is so helpful I'm genuinely going to try to follow this
You are the funniest person on this platform
You speak so smart, and in the same time, you are so funny! Very glead to find your chanel!
Thanks for being the big sis I never had 💜
I totally agree! I NEVER text a guy first...
Amazing smart ass advice
Good advice, Shallon! Thanks 💕
i was looking for a video of yours like this because i needed it thank you 💖
You look STUNNING
This whole video is just Shallon calling me out 😂
I really loved this video, your advice is on point.
I don't really LOL, I lol. Like "he THOUGHT lol". Idk Shallon, it hits different. I may just be in denial.
You are so pretty and really smart, I looove your well read mind and advice's, thank you!!
everyone should see this. Great video!
I dont even text or call my boyfriend first and im pregnant. He wants to get married and im like ummmm not yet
Love this! Thank you so much! Learned a lot. 😊
This my first time coming across this channel
You are hilarious.
Your videos have helped me so much sis
The thing with sending pics, if you're inclined. Always wear, bra, undies or cosy (they're more provocative and sexy anyway). Do not include full head shot so that you cannot be identified if things go south 😁