No Interaction, No Existence
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- Опубликовано: 19 сен 2024
- #narcissist #narcissism #hgtudor
When there is no interaction between you and the narcissist you cease to exist, so what does that mean.
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When I ignorantly married my wife I didn't know the facts of narcissism. I vowed divorce would never be an option. NEWS FLASH! Once you know, you accept and understand that divorce is the only option you have with a narcissist!
Not existing through no interaction on my part to the narc is my superpower. It’s like the garbage took itself out.
They all end up lonely and depressed. Seen it. They are lost babies.
I AM 14 months GONE - From the MONSTER
It’s heaven ! Full no contact and will remain as that 🌹❣️
Freedom is sooooo good 💃🥰🦋
Hi
I AM GONE! And glad to be so
This makes so much sense. Finally an explanation as to why I felt I didn't exist to the narcissist, except when it suited them. The communication and interaction were for the purpose of control. In actual fact I didn't exist. I am enjoying no contact. I don't miss any of the manipulations.
Here here I agree👍🏻
@@ericaknesek3266*hear hear.. as in "hear that man!" (Or woman)
This video so accurately captures the mentality of the narcissist. Both from a practical account of narcissistic behavior all the way through to the underpinnings of object relations theory. When the baby sees the mother the mother exists and when she goes away the mother goes away. Object constancy emerges at a later stage and the baby
realizes mother still exists when she goes away. So for the narcissist object constancy fails to emerge rendering the people they interact with as binary objects. It's like they can switch their attention on or off by changing the dial of a radio tuner and bam you're there. Move the dial to the right or left and bam, your gone and another person appears in their mind. Each person is neatly compartmentalized, separate and distinct from each other, without any integrative relation to each other. The concepts in this video are not new but hearing this portrayal first hand from HG was a mentally orgasmic experience. The scope and unifying of concepts delivered in this video are key to understanding the pathology of narcissism. Thank you HG for another brilliant and entertaining video!
You are welcome Mark and your observations are accurate.
✨
Spot on accurate. A mutual friend said “It’s as if you died, he acts as if you are dead, you never existed.”
Yeah well. My Ex Narc no longer exists to me either. After 21 years together, I'm walking away with our son. And unlike his my now choosing to discard him right back is permanent. 4 months no contact. He has lost his family. Still he got what he thought he wished for, the new supply dont meet his needs. I no longer care. He doesnt deserve my energy or time anymore
Here yah sister!!!
Stay in that mind set! Good one!🌷
If you didn't care about him you wouldn't know that his new supply doesn't meet his needs.... You wouldn't know anything at all about what he's is up to if your No Contact was properly done. Good luck to you. :)
@@kandoo1316 Honestly, nothing and no one can truly satisfy the narcissist’s needs for any length of time because they are black holes of need.
I 👍 agree.
This guy is so on point you got to take his warnings seriously..he gives it to you “ hot from the pot”..I’m learning so much and as I learn I’ve come to the conclusion that “ forewarned is forearmed “ in much appreciation for H.G. Tudor ..
I'm sorry but both of my wx narcs. Had a very strong obligation at their job...rarely took a day off
I always felt sorry for him. Until he devalued me in such cruel ways and words. I found out about narcissism from googling why does my husband hate me. Five hundred things came up about narcissism. This was in 2017 while I had escaped to help my sister while she was I'll. What a revelation. It's the playbook that baffles me. How are they really basically all the same? Lower, mid range, all this...they basically operate yo fuel themselves through cruelty. It's fascinating and horrifying
Because it’s the same demon in all of them
This is a great video that explains so well that very strange feeling I've had with Narcissist friends where they completely forget to show up for something that was deemed important, that was discussed several times in advance ... and then ... nothing. They are nowhere to be found.
It's fascinating to hear out of the mouth of a narcissist!!
I walked on eggshells so many years trying to be more loving more caring more generous more sweet LOL
What I received was disrespect and it got worse and worse over the years!
I am gone from living like that. I have blocked the narcissist from all areas of my life!!
I received a message through a family member LOL The narcissist got in touch with them and told them to tell me if I need a ride anywhere they'll take me anywhere I want to go LOL I told my family member I would not take a ride for them under any circumstances... They replied to me not even in a Ferrari?
My reply.. not even in a limousine!
It feels good to be free from such an evil evil creature!
Honestly speaking
Thank you Sir for exposing the narcisists. Im an Empath, and yes I love people and I care about people. And even if I was broken by some former partners who were narcisists Im happy Im an Empath because I am real, my love is real, my emotions are real, my care is real. But it is important for me to understand how the narcisists operates just to avoid them as a relationship with them is nothing more than a lie.
I've experienced this trait when dealing with a number of people. Your explanation of it as an aspect of narcissism is extremely helpful and makes it a "red flag" to look out for.
I completely understand what you’re saying about control. I was briefly dating a man ( for 1 month) and during this time we had lengthy phone conversations (4-6 hrs worth), there was daily texting, and we met up ( I met him through an app).
Then one day radio silence. I texted him 2 days later asking him if he was okay, and if a friendship was something he was still interested in ( no pressure) ( b/c the last convo we had-he sounded stressed). I got no answer... so I sent him a msg, telling him that I’m shocked after all our conversations about how we’re transparent ppl- that he would ghost. I really laid into him. Lol
Then I get an instant text back. A long msg, saying that he’s going through all these excuses and that he wasn’t ghosting, and that he was alarmed that I told him off like that. I apologized, and told him that how he feels is valid, but so is how I feel- so I wished him the best...
This man in response, went on about how I am amazing and beautiful and how he still wants to date me...etc... after I was attempting to end it with him gracefully...One week later: I find that I was “unfollowed” and deleted off of his social media. With no warning.
This is ABSOLUTELY about control. He couldn’t handle that I had any autonomy in ending the relationship, so he feigned interest (to give false hope and manipulate) so that he had full control in ultimately rejecting me. COMPLETELY NARC behavior.
Lol were we talking to the same guy? 🤔😂
I always imagine narcissist that way. I can picture them like a 5 year old who has 20 toys in front of them. So his mom buys him new toy car which is new shinny and it sparks instant interest, he always plays with his toy and brings it out everywhere. He never looses it out of sight. But then that toy gets used, isn’t as shiny anymore and he got a new toy so he is impressed with his new toy and leaves the old one on the shelf and so on, and so on thill the rest of his life.
How I imagine narcissist when his empath ex finds new love interest. He feels like someone took a toy he deposited on his shelf. How dare someone touch his toys. Doesnt matter if he doesnt play with it anymore it is still in his ownership. Crazy but think this sums it really well.
Well said
Don't stop thinkin' about tomorrow
Don't stop. It will soon be here.
It will be here, better than before.
Yesterday's gone. YESTERDAYS GONE!🎵🎶 Leave narcissists in their Twilight Zone.
Thank you. I have identified the narcissist at last. I am always the one to send an email. Always believe someone when they tell you who they are
This is the stuff that helps me sleep at night. Thank you HG. Well done.
I was told "it's like you were just gone" He meant I didn't exist. I get it now.
Mine used to tell me "you think, I ever get occupied in thoughts about you? I don't even think about you for a second."
@@supermcfly3103 they are such awful, vile people aren’t they?! I’m not even remotely capable of saying something that cruel to any human being...it wouldn’t even come into my thoughts to say something like that to someone I’ve been I’ve been romantically involved with😔😢😞
Vile, awful creatures... all of them
This should be mandatory listening for for all Psychology majors at some point…. You shouldn’t be able to get your PhD without listening to all of this
Soooooooooo very correct
Amazing. Explains why my friend never seemed like he was really there.
This freak moved in the house 2 doors down from me. That was the beginning of his downfall. I contacted the other woman. We got together and compared notes, became friendly ( no, I don't trust her ) He , in a drunk stupor invited us both over for a bar-b-q on the same day, so we showed up together. He flew into a narcissistic rage and attacked me. Hurt me pretty badly. I had him arrested immediately and now he's facing some serious trouble.
I had been no contact for a month before the altercation, I did this partly to confront him and partly because I thought this would help the other woman gain her freedom. But she went back to him 4 days later. He's physically abused her numerous times but she always dropped charges. Not me. I'm pushing forward legally and No Contact from now until eternity. I have a protective order so if he tries to contact me he's going back to jail.
And the other woman, she is on her own. Some people don't want to be freed.
Hopefully after your court appointment you’ve employed a “vigorous no contact regime as HG Tudor has steadfastly recommended.
Crazy, the world has gone mad.
I have listened to sooo many help videos for narcissism and by far, this channel has been the best of education.
Thank you and you are correct.
I'm free!
Narc free for over a year. No contact.
I have to say Hg tutor I have learned so much about narcissism on your channel thank you.👋🏻 from America
Good stuff HG! This is worth its weight in glitter ✨
Oh well from what your saying I dont exist to him. Well that's suits me just fine. I dont want him or need him. And I dont want a lame ass Hoover on my doorstep!
Make sure you have a solid no contact regime to keep the narcissist away from you.
@@hgtudor-theultra Indeed I will HG. Thanks for sharing your insight. Very much appreciated
It seems they always need us more than we need them
Thank you HG your legacy continues
Damn, that was a harsh one and explains so many many situations I have found myself in over the years.
So perfectly discribed everything to the T. Thank you sir.
Lol “throwing a brick thru our window” 😆 your humour truly amuses me!!!
It really is smashing.
I never understood the exe forgetting family b-days year after year.
He'd actually get angry that I remembered or was organized, keeping notes or reminders for family B-days or events.
It was like some confusing and very bizarre competition he had if I brought a B day up.
It was strange.
Now 'knowing the narcissist' through HG, it all makes perfect sense.
Everyone is a disposable object.
All except Mommy.
Mommy's b-day was always remembered.
Always shopped for w such delicate care. Holidays includef.
Even that was grossly weird.
Glad I have this education to reference during my recovery.
This is Perfect! I finally get it! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Thank you.
This explains it all. 100%.
Well that answered all the questions about his tardiness, for almost everything he did! Thanks!
You are welcome.
Yea see my narc was always punctual his tardy date with me was the proverbial straw leading to our demise
And yes, I guess that’s what we all want. If I’m not interacting with you, that means I don’t need anything from you so get lost. You don’t exist to me either.
This is coming from an IPPS who escaped.🤣🤣🤣and I’m thinking I’m all painted that darkest black of all times.🖤🖤🖤😁where I don’t give a rat. He can even add more layers of it.
Indeed.
I already figured that's how it felt about me anyway, already had mental funeral, worst thing it could do is slither back
One night, I told my ex narc that I did not want him to come over.
I literally did get a brick through my window.
I guess he thought that if I was scared I would ask him to come over, (I didn’t). The next day I found another brick in my yard, I guess he missed the first time! The next time I did see him, as he was walking up, I saw him scanning my windows, looking for the broken one. He denied everything, of course.
Omg...are u living my life😟🤯..my ex just did this two weeks ago..he threw a brick in my car and living room window because he was angry that I didnt open my door when he came over..and he denied it too..wow
I forgive him. But that's about the past bring reconciled. And NOT about any future consideration.
Well said 🙏 I needed that
I'll miss him in ways. But he'll miss me more and that is my sweet revenge.
Thank you for the excellent information. It has been extremely useful study information for me so I wanted to thank you again. I see you describing empaths and narcissists and to me maybe these are different nature personality styles people can have BUT since we ARE all humans, what is most intriguing to me is that in that case the behaviour of the narcissist must be a CHOICE, and IS at ALL TIMES calculated even if it comes natural, otherwise there would be speak of 'not being responsible for ones choices due to mental illness'.
This is dead on the money
Makes perfect sense
Thank you.
Harry will never see the truth to his wife's narrarcism, thank you for this channel HG.
No interaction, no existence: for the narcissist! But you know, the world goes on. Everyone is there. Only the narcissist can not experience the essence of life. This is the tragedy of being used but never seen.
Hey, I hadn't thought about throwing a brick through his window! Great idea!
I always felt sorry for my mother. I felt obligated to take care of her, if only I knew she was a narcissist sooner. I know you won't read this H. G. Tudor nor care, but I just wished I had found you sooner!
This is so spot on
My mother in law used to get excited about funerals
Must be the canapés afterwards.
@@hgtudor-theultra Lol u r so easily mean... ^_^
As did my ex! What better way for him to get narcisistic supply from all those people in one place. Such a sick individual!
My father used to get my mother to read the deaths out of the local newspaper while he was having his dinner. They're both loved if someone they knew died
Thankyou H.G.Tudor,
Your wisdom has worked well.
Your instructions have great validity.
It worked well today 20th of February 2021.
The problem left after I turned my back on it.
Thanks HG. Much appreciated plain english explanation. .✨
My ex would call me for something, and I'd help. She'd say, "thank you so much! I'll call you later.".....then crickets. I could feel the complete disconnect as soon as we hung up the phone but didn't know that's what I was feeling because I didn't know what I was dealing with....
Mine would claim a bad memory caused by the (prescription) drugs he had to take.
It seems great to be a narc I could never ! I don’t know how it even possible to not remember event for people I care about.That so strange my dad I think he is a mid-range narc he thinks he the best thing since sliced bread. The first person I had an intimate relationship was his copycat. That so strange this mindset. He is weird as fuck. I am happy that I have to do the work and move on. They can never move on and stay in the same dead end jobs. And they envy you for what you have. But they can never put the half of the effort that you made. But that ok then. I don’t worry anymore I get knowledge and hopefully. I’ll find someone who is real. And have real empahty and intimacy 😊.
It makes me laugh every time you say ‘thrown a brick through our window’ this crossed my mind many times, but of course I never did it. I’m curious to know how many bricks have been tossed through your windows?
None.
Lmmmmao!!!!!
As much as you may want to throw a brick through the window...if you know what they really are, you know that's a DANGER to you but damn it would be fun
🤣
HG my favorite narcissist🥇 now that you taught me a lot 🎯 now that I'm aware of my emotional thinking😏 I know how to keep it in check🕵️♀️ if it's a duck it's a duck🤣
If this is true, out of sight out of mind..then why do we get hovered when we've gone complete no contact for quite some time ?
Good point.
You need to listen again, this is explained in the video.
That's the million dollar question.
They Hoover trying for supply
@@mine176p THAAAANNNKKK YOU!
Thank You!!!
Only during love bombing stage they’re not late, infact earlier than you when suppose to meet up!!
Mine still try to add me in social media by using fake accounts every now and then.
Mine leaves me & is surrounded by his yes men & women .... taking his drugs & raving lol .... then after 6 months .... i get a txt .....i missed you. So much I thought about you every second of everyday 😂😂😊 as soon as his new supply left he had missed me .... no card for my birthday no call ... nothing ..... too busy with his next appliance .... 6 weeks no contact so far .... best decision I ever made after 5 years living with a fowl mouthed nightmare .... I’m free .... he never turned up on time either .... this is so true thanks HG ... I never existed when he lived here .... let alone now 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
That sounds like my ex too!! Raving and drugs and sex.. perfect place for a narcissist. Well done x
I thought the constant “lack of punctuality” was due to controlling all the people waiting for the narcissist ensuring her control over others with the added bonus of receiving all the attention when she finally shows up to the promised event. The negative attention is forced upon everyone affected by the tardy narc which then fuels her even more.
Also...he was always the first to initiate contact..be that via phonecall/text etc. Is this just when they're love-bombing? I'm confused as if I dont exist unless I'm in front of him or text him, why does he always 'chase" or 'initiate'?
I was told once I have a gift for you, and what was that?! That person. 🤦🏻♀️ no thank you, keep it
No Contact for 4 mos, then he hoovered me back in by paying the mortgage,utilities a few other things, so I am now disabled and unable to move, leave, plus I have custody of my grand daughter because her mother is disabled, too, and a drug addict. I am stuck. Peter,peter pumpkin eater, etc. Well I can go low contact and so I do as often as possible, but when I am really sick he helps by cooking for our grand daughter,etc....so I am doing the best I can UNDER the circumstances, but since he is afraid of police he doesn't touch me anymore, but the verbal abuse continues...I hope the rest of you ladies can leave and I beg you to leave before you get too sick or too old. Please go NOW. Things never get better, narcs never get help because they do NOT think they need to because they are not an abuser...you are!
What a sick person to act this way... scary
You mistake obligation, it's love,there is a huge difference, obligation is tit for tat,what you folks like to do,love doesn't have resentment or harm to another.
If this is true.. .why does the narcissist still call me weekly (restricted number) after we've been out of the entanglement for over 2 yrs. No contact is in place & I don't run in the sames circles nor communicate with anyone he knows. Sometimes he leaves a voice-mail & periodically changes his number to catch me off guard. I block the new number then he goes right back to calling from restricted or attempts to call from blocked number.
You need to listen again, this is explained in the video.
@@hgtudor-theultra I listened again and my question is left still unanswered. There would be no reason for this narc to have me running through his mind on such a high frequency as 2 -3 times a week if I'm out of sight & out of mind. He remembers my birthday with no fuel provided. It's been almost 2 whole years and I am truly out of sight.. .just make it make sense!
It is explained in the video. You are not running through his mind on a high frequency. Something or someone is causing you to enter the sphere of influence 2-3 times a week, this causes a hoover and then if the Hoover execution Criteria are met, he hoovers you. You are out go sight, then he may see a car which reminds him of yours, boom, you are in his mind, this causes a hoover trigger. It is as I explained. He is not sat there dwelling over you, instead something or someone is causing you to enter his mind. Perhaps he has a picture of you which he sees and thus he is reminded of you, maybe a friend mentions your name, perhaps he hears a song which causes him to remember you, there are many different hoover triggers.
@@hgtudor-theultra Damn.. .poor narcissist even a normal person is not triggered that often to contact an ex. I hope those triggers hunt him until the day he dies & his stupid non-self has to call my number & dial *67 prefix going through all the trouble only to get ignored over & over again (BLOCKED).. .it serves him right to be a slave to his own MASTER!
It's so hard to remember that they're like emotional toddlers who never developed object permanence or autonomy.
No contact with my narc but she still uses my Netflix and still on my phone plan. Lazy lazy narcs. When I cut her off I would be the worse person in the world. I booted her off Netlix the phone is next. The empath in me is hoping she’s getting the point but I can’t care about her problems.
But but....I don’t continuously think about anyone either, thoughts do come and they do go. Example-my daughter breaks her wrist, I worry & I feel bad for her, but not exactly every second of every day.
So...this is normal. They can pretend all they want that I don’t exist in their mind.
Imagine if you and the narcissist were the only two people on Earth. And then the narcissist left you.!!!! You don't exist anymore!!!!
Thank you …HG❤
Highly doubt this or they would move on.
Super important video, yet again 👏
H.G. Thank you for this video.. So I'm wondering , if there is no contact at all ( me or the Narc) and I don't exist, then how does he remember to hoover? Is it that pop up thought in his head that comes at any moment?? Also, how many (on average) compartments does the Narcissist have in his head (dealing with IPPS,IPSS, DLS...etc...) to not overload, and keep things straight?
He talks about hoover triggers in his videos.
He does not remember to hoover. You may enter the first five spheres of influence causing a Hoover Trigger and then if the Hoover execution Criteria are met, you get hoovered. If you do not enter the first five spheres (because of your no contact regime) you still always have the risk that you will enter the sixth sphere (the narcissist is reminded of you by someone or something and/or the narcissist just remembers you as a random thought) and then that is a Hoover Trigger which, if the HEC are met, leads to a hoover.
You lot think about us all the time .
The narc never forgets about there carnage.
Emotionally vacant.
But my narc was obsessed with me stalking me all the time 24x7. Creepy.
How?
Well if I don’t exist to the Narcissists who seemingly still love to Watch me, then for the love of Power and Control could these Narcs please go away already. How am I even on their radar still?
Could be anything remembering that person of you. Called the hoover triggers. Which is why HG also suggests deleting social media in no contact, so they cannot get triggered.
Uugg if only.
A very good information and esencial to now more about the transtorn ....narcissist.
Thank you.
So as a shelf appliance - why does one get Hoover storms? Ie - he’ll message or call excessively everyday for a week or so, I respond and then he goes MIA suddenly? Then the process repeats every few months
I gaveback what he gave. IT backfired he was in deep shit neededmy help. I gaveexcuseslike he did. A so called friend
brilliant so empowering to know this
Thankyou HG
Explain very well ..thank you.
I disagree. My ex has stalked me for years and there has been no contact. So...... there’s that
I hope this is true...last thing I want is him and new supply rumination about me. Seems being against me was what made them pull together. If he Hoover me I must call the law. New supply had plan to kill me
Translation: When there is no interaction between us and you, YOU stop existing
Thanks
If this is true why do many of them gossip and scheme on ppl that are not present
That's rubbish. My ex psycho (low range) narc texts every few days, even when I told him I have a beautiful man now!
Listen again. You are coming onto his radar, thus you exist again and a hoover follows in order to assert control.
Of course he does. He has competition now.It's not about you. He can't handle you have moved on. It's always about him. His ego, control. Mine used to harrass me when HE had another woman. Lunatic
So this is why no contact works?
Thank you.
Because they are evil no love
Why do they stalk then ??
Thankyou for the info - very interesting. I once had a narc keep messaging me though and I'd read it but not reply. So he'd message again a few hours later. This went on for a whole day until I realised he had blocked me on an app...which instigated me to message and ask why. He then said because you ignored me. So - why wasnt I out of his mind the moment I first ignored him? Because he saw it as a narc injury?
I was hoping this would be the case soon as I went NOSO but nope unfortunately I’m in the mist of a serious smear champaign...I pissed them off when it was realized. I just wanted to disappear in their eyes like I didn’t exist.
Yep. I am here for God. Grateful
I am right here.
@@hgtudor-theultra
Hope you have a nice weekend. Thank you always and forever
@@hgtudor-theultra I want to do your birth chart/blue print for you HG.
@@hgtudor-theultra 😂
@@hgtudor-theultra Best reply ever!
Hg, Narcissist is the person, and narcissism controls the behaviors that are manifested and played out by the narc toward the victims so not thinking about you is the narcissism telling the narcissist depending on the school do this to get the prime aims.