The Narcissist Has Not Forgotten You

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  • Опубликовано: 9 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 348

  • @josieo2678
    @josieo2678 3 года назад +237

    I find it empowering to view them as appliances too, once I’ve determined that they are in fact narcs. You wouldn’t expect to interact or fall in love with a toaster, would you? So no need to hope for contact. They didn’t love me? Great. Honestly, I didn’t either. It was all a fantasy that I chose to believe for a while, and they perpetuated, but that person never existed. How can you fall in love with a non existent person. Empaths aren’t in love either, they are addicted to the golden period.

    • @narnia139
      @narnia139 3 года назад +13

      You have an extremely pragmatic and very lucid way of thinking 😆 combined with the right eloquence to express it...my compliments dear 💞 exactly what you said am doing...I just haven't thought about putting my thoughts and actions into words till I read your comment 😊👍👍👍

    • @mrslatham
      @mrslatham 3 года назад +9

      Brilliant!!! I'm going to try to reboot my mindset now.

    • @carriebell3566
      @carriebell3566 3 года назад +2

      @@narnia139 Bravo! 👏🏼👏🏼

    • @di3486
      @di3486 3 года назад +23

      Empaths fall in love with the image of themselves the narc reflects back to them. So you actually were in love, with yourself!

    • @ballerina5876
      @ballerina5876 3 года назад +2

      Agree 100%

  • @mysticme777
    @mysticme777 3 года назад +286

    They never forget the ones who escaped and wounded them and their ego...

    • @candycanes7581
      @candycanes7581 3 года назад +56

      Mystic Me - ya think?… It would make me happy to know that I am a constant thorn in that psychos side.

    • @mine176p
      @mine176p 3 года назад +10

      Oh goodie, well it was over 30 years ago, sometimes felt like he was paying me back for disappearing when we were dating when we were teenagers, makes me wonder sometimes if that didn't have anything to do with him being the way he is, would explain his hatred of me

    • @michellesamantha6282
      @michellesamantha6282 3 года назад +9

      I agree

    • @michaelmewis4761
      @michaelmewis4761 3 года назад +23

      I wounded the narc very deeply, even though it was not meant to...

    • @ManifestingMagician2323
      @ManifestingMagician2323 3 года назад +6

      💯

  • @ntombifuthiyika5975
    @ntombifuthiyika5975 3 года назад +193

    This makes sense. They don't care much who they are with as long as they are with someone who can be controlled.

    • @sharoncorrell943
      @sharoncorrell943 3 года назад +5

      Yes, he traded down for sure.

    • @sharoncorrell943
      @sharoncorrell943 3 года назад +5

      And it lasted 4 months....she canned him.

    • @mllezhn1612
      @mllezhn1612 3 года назад +16

      Makes sense. Why would you keep pressing buttons on an appliance that doesn't respond

    • @MrMharris1990
      @MrMharris1990 3 года назад +9

      Yes, this makes complete sense. Just anybody will do for them.

    • @katarinatibai8396
      @katarinatibai8396 3 года назад +3

      They are like a theck - no mather wich houst they have as long they can suck blood.

  • @keep_it_real_1
    @keep_it_real_1 3 года назад +76

    I have been no contact for a year now. Out of the blue, a month ago, I received an email "please let me know if you are ok, a yes or no would suffice" !!!!!!! 😳😳😳😳😳 I blocked the email 😁

  • @boardingpassjunkie
    @boardingpassjunkie 3 года назад +15

    NO CONTACT....NOTHING WORKS BETTER!🚫🚷📵

  • @mnelson2008
    @mnelson2008 8 месяцев назад +6

    He told me I was the one. That I have always been the one. That soon he would leave his abusive wife. I told him we couldn't see each other anymore until he left her. He told me we would be together soon and thathe would call when they separated. Never heard from him again. As an appliance, I lost my value. I called his bluff and the house of cards fell.

    • @mjmoody3796
      @mjmoody3796 3 месяца назад +1

      With a married man though! You deserve everything you got. No better than he is!

  • @meganlangreck2488
    @meganlangreck2488 3 года назад +70

    Ugh I have more of these people around me than I realized.

    • @priscillasmith9309
      @priscillasmith9309 3 года назад +9

      I KNOW RIGHT DAMMMIT THEY ARE EVERYWHERE!!😡😭😒

    • @mllezhn1612
      @mllezhn1612 3 года назад +9

      There's never just one in your life 😲

  • @tricem.2123
    @tricem.2123 3 года назад +47

    I always wondered why my ex would always rage whenever i stayed upset abt something terrible he did the previous week or day. He'd always say ' stop bringing up the f**king past' And i always response by saying 'its not the past it just happened yesterday!'

    • @jeanettegant4945
      @jeanettegant4945 3 года назад +3

      It's maddening, isn't it? One thinks one has a right to be annoyed about something they do that's out of order, even if it's committing a crime, and they say you're mad, mentally ill if you show your annoyance.

  • @emmamonroe3311
    @emmamonroe3311 2 года назад +19

    Makes total sense. Silence for them is the key. This is a mental illness.

    • @Smellslikenarcspirit
      @Smellslikenarcspirit 8 месяцев назад +2

      And a spiritual one ; spiritual assasins hunting for light to fill their black hole .

  • @virginiawomack7167
    @virginiawomack7167 3 года назад +54

    No! He, a very Superior Ultra Narcissist hasn’t forgotten me! I doubt he ever will forget...he will hate me until the day he hits the pits of hell. I feel badly about it, but he deserved everything he got, or shall I say, he lost. Never mess with a woman that’s survivor of a Narcissist exhusband!

    • @tyd8077
      @tyd8077 3 года назад +3

      What did you do 😈 I feel like we could swap stories 😂

    • @mowthpeece1
      @mowthpeece1 3 года назад +6

      Amén! We are a force to behold. By the time we get to our third one we make Godzilla look like a lizard with gas.

    • @narnia139
      @narnia139 3 года назад

      😂😂😂🔥 not all of the victims turn out like this regrettably...I sure did, but I have a friend that although she gets it, she can't...I guess only some of us can turn into Supernovas as HG says... I certainly did explode in the face of the 2nd narc I met intimately...(after my divorce from a Narc obviously...😂)...she still wants to believe there is something good in EVERY human being... I tend to think there's something of the bruised ego of the victim there...they absolutely don't want to admit they threw in the bin 10 years of their lives and got absolutely taken for a ride by an empty wandering skin bag...it's the victims loss anyway..

  • @nikiabutler899
    @nikiabutler899 3 года назад +29

    HG is hilarious!!! The voice and the things he says because his language is so different than how we speak it’s hilarious!!! I love when he’s humorous because he can sound super serious while doing so. His sense of humor is different and I anticipate when he will do it! Thanks for the message HG it makes sense.

    • @karenjohnson5792
      @karenjohnson5792 3 года назад +1

      HG,You have a very seductive voice,is that natural or put on?sometimes you can be very amusing but the fact that you have no soul is disturbing where do you go when you pass? Hell?

  • @nellsmith9721
    @nellsmith9721 3 года назад +40

    I hope mine has forgotten about me certainly feels like it 🥳🥳🥳🥳

  • @anastasia10017
    @anastasia10017 3 года назад +38

    the narcissist didnt care about you when you were there, why would s/he be thinking about you when you are gone ?? you dont exist. they already had someone else waiting in the wings anyway and you were replaced immediately.

    • @davidcoppotelli3957
      @davidcoppotelli3957 2 года назад +1

      I believe that. They didn't care if they did it was Short Lived. You don't matter anymore. That's the Toxic Narcissist.

    • @Ytdeletesallmycomments
      @Ytdeletesallmycomments 2 года назад +1

      Yea they don' t think about you only when they pleasure themselfs. Both of my ex narcs told me the same disgusting thing. Ah well we were always just objects.

  • @stormaurora5536
    @stormaurora5536 3 года назад +25

    Before I knew he was a narcissist, I noticed that. He would focus intently on whatever he was doing and nothing else existed. He would also say that about everything being in the past, even if it was only a few minutes ago. Fascinating.

  • @Choochoo1111
    @Choochoo1111 3 года назад +98

    Yet- He used to “reminisce” about exes with me all the time 😂

    • @dimpleswashington6937
      @dimpleswashington6937 3 года назад +24

      😂 exactly. I too heard a lot about ex's

    • @andriajohnson4741
      @andriajohnson4741 3 года назад +38

      Triangulation..

    • @justthoughts8872
      @justthoughts8872 3 года назад +11

      Mine did too he hated the ex wife I guess she hurt him most But he always spoke favorably of his other women

    • @rustyspork4917
      @rustyspork4917 3 года назад +20

      All my narcs ex's are apparently crazy.

    • @Th3Fab3
      @Th3Fab3 3 года назад +2

      Omg. Same lol

  • @sharoncorrell943
    @sharoncorrell943 3 года назад +85

    Mine may not have forgotten about me, but he isn't one to hoover. He replaced me immediately and has moved on, thank goodness.

    • @Kim-vs4vb
      @Kim-vs4vb 3 года назад +10

      Same with me, he replaced me while I thought we were together, it broke my heart 😔

    •  3 года назад +1

      @@Kim-vs4vb
      I’m so sorry

    • @no89lan3
      @no89lan3 3 года назад +7

      Yes, but keep your no contact regime, as HG says, there is always a chance of they coming back.

    • @no89lan3
      @no89lan3 3 года назад

      @@Kim-vs4vb Same here, GOSO.

    • @lucysmith8326
      @lucysmith8326 3 года назад +3

      @@no89lan3 Yes sometimes it takes years for them to Hoover you

  • @rtgriff77
    @rtgriff77 3 года назад +19

    Very, very very well said. Absolutely the truth. Everything we need to hear but most don’t want to admit.

  • @viviensheffield1119
    @viviensheffield1119 3 года назад +11

    "You are mine" and "I will love you until the day I die" springs to mind. Thanks for this H G.

  • @phillysistajamz
    @phillysistajamz 3 года назад +21

    This is *PURE GOLD*
    Thank you H.D.

  • @trueli4708
    @trueli4708 3 года назад +11

    ...ouch I'm glad that I run away and fight against this weird person.

  • @lisarochwarg4707
    @lisarochwarg4707 3 года назад +24

    Mosquitoes also remember me. That's why they won't go away.

  • @educationalbrowsing8913
    @educationalbrowsing8913 3 года назад +10

    2 Timothy 3:13 But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived.

  • @cindyroberts5053
    @cindyroberts5053 2 года назад +8

    Omg! Thank u I so needed to hear this I've been listening to u for awhile thanks to the pod casts about celebs & and that awful MM - but this one hit home! I was married to a narc for 10 years - I had know idea what one was...but my realtionship with him was bizarre to say the least. I never knew where I stood, never on stable ground, always making excuses and defending him, cleaning up mess after mess.
    I was the last "thing" thought of lierally!
    Funny enough we shared the same birthdate...never ever did I get a happy birthday let alone a gift, no acknowledgment at all! Nothing! So was the entire marriage - I finally left when I was broken, depressed and a mess. But I did ☺

  • @reneeacosta4420
    @reneeacosta4420 3 года назад +11

    Thank you so much for your perspective.... If a person wants to be entangled with a narcissistic-codependent type relationship to each his own.
    But for the one's that desire a healthy relationship... There should be a way out. --I feel this contributes to that. This honesty is so refreshing.... It's the lies/trickery that hurts.

  • @michelleclark8099
    @michelleclark8099 3 года назад +16

    Well explained. “That’s it.”

  • @billfitzpatrick8148
    @billfitzpatrick8148 3 месяца назад +1

    I fell for her , 1985. We married,1996 . We had a child, 2005, and I finally “ met” her, 2018.

  • @jlindb2119
    @jlindb2119 3 года назад +6

    Common sense is if they hoover, and they can't stop, then they are thinking and ruminating about us. We let go and they cannot. We just didn't know that part of their brain never developed.

  • @Resiliant777
    @Resiliant777 3 года назад +6

    Honestly...You are a GENIUS! Thank you so much for educating us! I really appreciate the knowledge you're giving us. You know what...I know you identify yourself as a narcissist...or maybe you are not a narcissist and you are just going into "character as a narcissist"....But - whatever it is...You are a Good Man for creating awareness...whether you are a narcissist or not...it doesn't matter...what you are doing is saving lives by educating people like me that didn't understand many things and got played so many times by narcissists. Thank You!

    • @KarenEvans-gm9yj
      @KarenEvans-gm9yj 7 месяцев назад

      HG is a narcissist. He’s helping us bc we’re giving him supply!

  • @tiggiestigg546
    @tiggiestigg546 2 года назад +3

    They do obsess. They obsess over everyone they've ever been involved with aswell as who they're currently seeing. The obsession doesn't stop them doing anything or switching partners. I've witnessed these obsessive behaviours

  • @rtgriff77
    @rtgriff77 3 года назад +12

    Your wisdom is appreciated 🖤

  • @elsitabebe
    @elsitabebe 3 года назад +24

    He's favorite saying was," you're always dwelling in the past " , "New day, new me". No matter how BAD his behavior was to him it was like it never happened because " that was yesterday, get over it, stop dwelling ". To him the consequences didn't matter. He even told a friend of his that the reason that he was going to marry his recycled supply was because she "doesn't hold my past against me" 🙄 basically he does whatever he wants and she takes it. Damn, it sucks that although he is constantly on the crazy rollercoaster ride with his new victim that there is a chance that he will come back around at some point. He reached out to his ex girlfriend before me when I broke up with him after 7 years. It recently hit me that he told me back then that the ex stated that they would have a 7 years old child together had she not aborted it. He and I started dating 7 years ago and back then he said that he'd been single for a year when we met. Now I'm convinced that I was the new supply at that time while he deserted his ex girlfriend and their unborn child.

    • @md-mx5zb
      @md-mx5zb 3 года назад +5

      Another cloned statement ..." It's the past" ..why am I bringing up past all the time !! ...w something that just happened yesterday. Lol Zero accountability. ALL the same idiots. Jesus

    • @lisabethell503
      @lisabethell503 3 года назад

      Sounds familiar!

    • @nessahughes4175
      @nessahughes4175 2 года назад +1

      All abusers say this lol

  • @Cheetoluv
    @Cheetoluv 3 года назад +7

    The Narcissist that married into our family, knows I'm on to them. They will ignore me. They came for the first time to Christmas get together (ever), they came after everyone learned of them cheating for five years, spent money helping their side piece to live comfortably, while their family was left broke many times. This person at the Christmas get together came over and hugged me good by in front of everyone. I know it was just a power control from them because I know what they are. I just wish that the person from our family that married them would see the light and get away. It's hurting them emotionally and it's hurting the kids.

  • @farahclay912
    @farahclay912 7 месяцев назад +2

    Brilliant. Tell us about narcissist mortification.

  • @JillInTruth
    @JillInTruth Год назад

    Wow. This guy’s content is phenomenal. I’ve just spent a few hours listening to him and I feel like he answered all my questions. That’s rare! Thank you so much for these videos!!!

  • @Head_Hashira
    @Head_Hashira Год назад +6

    narcs are very sad people who live sad experienced lives a person who goes around seeking attention and manipulation and control of others because they are miserable and want to make others miserable too is pathetic they need therapy and to heal to become a whole person and not a parasite

  • @wattsymusicandfilm
    @wattsymusicandfilm 3 года назад +3

    She hasn’t forgotten me, only because we have a son together! She feels nothing for me, the past is the past, it’s over doesn’t mean anything, she wouldn’t even talk about our memories! This has hurt me so profoundly I don’t think I’ll ever recover!

  • @deeva57
    @deeva57 3 года назад +2

    "Not a simple yes or no."
    Infamous answer of the narcissists.

  • @MaryAnderson-xs5wd
    @MaryAnderson-xs5wd 8 месяцев назад +3

    I might be thought of as an appliance. However, I am one with no warranty. When I am done, I am done. No matter what category the Narc falls into his mistake with me is nonfixable.

  • @BabyGirl-mi4ql
    @BabyGirl-mi4ql 3 года назад +3

    These times are an OPPORTUNITY TO ESCAPE!!! Do not waste these opportunities. This is what worked for me: I travel internationally for business. I told the upper lesser type A that I was going somewhere without cell service (I know, how could he believe that??? I only stay in the 5*'s bc of my job, lol) Anyway, he believed it, SO, here is the result: He thought I was UNDER CONTROL yet unreachable so he did NOT track me down physically as he had done so many times in the past, and therefore my no contact regime held up... and it gave me the time I needed to break the trauma bond. Please, victims, use HG's work, and you CAN break free.

  • @ragingphoinix9144
    @ragingphoinix9144 Год назад +3

    Nah. I'm the villain who exposed him. I'm the one he couldn't control. Trust, he isn't coming back.

  • @joannemcevoy4232
    @joannemcevoy4232 3 года назад +5

    I prefer to be off the radar. There is nothing for the narcissist to think about. As I stated to each one of the them at some point, when I began to seethe with anger and slowly get fed up ... 'I am of no consequence to you'. This would be followed up with a blank stare, angry words, some manipulative gibberish to counteract what I said, or they would go elsewhere by storming off. The narcs only think about themselves.

  • @bruji2001
    @bruji2001 3 года назад +8

    They never forget any possible credit balance they may be able to cash in regardless of who may be the potential target/provider.....Jeez! They are absolute parasites!

  • @forensicbadassprofiling
    @forensicbadassprofiling 3 года назад +7

    Once you remove the emotional thinking, you realize they barely thought of you in the relationship, so I think people should get logical here and realize if you've been disengaged from, they're definitely not thinking of you at all.
    It's hard to admit at 1st then you begin to understand ur nothing more than a used toaster.
    And for anyone who thinks anything different then learn from hg education.
    Bc the narcalready got control by thinking ur under their control just by them disengaging. That IS their control. Ur nothing folks 2 them.
    The sooner u come to terms the whole relationship was a lie the better yiour recovery b

  • @karenlenk1724
    @karenlenk1724 3 года назад +6

    We're appliances. Nice.

    • @tyd8077
      @tyd8077 3 года назад +4

      I hope I'm at least an expensive appliance and not like an old washing machine or something 🙄😂

  • @educationalbrowsing8913
    @educationalbrowsing8913 3 года назад +2

    The narcissists that I know (those in the family) do not forget you. Whatever their grievous behaviours, if you counter them in any way they will remember you for life and you won't know until you swim far enough into their waters.

  • @DanTheAnalyst
    @DanTheAnalyst 2 года назад

    It's goes to that lofty level and you dial it down to say mid range and it so accurate

  • @christyannceraso
    @christyannceraso 3 месяца назад +1

    Scurrying lol. Like a rat. Perfect metaphor. He did scurry.

  • @reemhussain3630
    @reemhussain3630 3 года назад +2

    True ...how bad that we know their truth

  • @ajeff6480
    @ajeff6480 Год назад +1

    My narc mother does this. She is 81. Very limited contact. Began noticing a pattern of other of her narc sisters, narc brother etc., with off again, on again relationships. The same with me. I would be back on her radar after 6 months or so then it starts all over again. She hit ground running as if nothing ever happened. Once, back in the day, she went so far as to give a personal letter I wrote her trying to disengage from her to our "priest". Nothing is off limits with these people! He never treated me the same after. My narc sister (lower lesser like our alcoholic father) said when my mother re-married around 8 years ago that she was glad of it because she would stop bothering US now. As carrier empath I was stunned by this comment, but she was right. Her newbie is an alcoholic lesser mid ranger who gave her the nick name " bug" when she was in devaluation! She thinks its cute. As a signal of respect for him he gets a military sounding name for him by using the first name initial and middle name initials as if they are his first name!! He thinks he is God's gift to women and once put his hand on my lower back to "help me up the stairs!" Eww... My sister ended up sleeping with her own daughters' husband and some years later attempted to seduce my narc husband.. Dear Lord Jesus, does it ever stop? Please come soon Lord. Makes me want to live in a box!!! I can't unsee this stuff now. Lord willing I will heal & keep watching HGs videos every day, learning, and read his books (I bought 3 so far).

  • @missj2045
    @missj2045 Год назад +2

    This was very accurate. I'm so happy to be off my ex's shelf. It took a while, but I really don't care anymore.

  • @rustyspork4917
    @rustyspork4917 3 года назад +7

    I put online that i wouldnt work with my narcissist if you paid me. 20 mins later he was round my house to get me under control. According to him im not allowed to put my opinions online lolol

  • @inspectorbsdetector2674
    @inspectorbsdetector2674 3 года назад +18

    My dad was a middle midrange narcissist and ruminated constantly about all of the lost opportunities in his life, playing the victim as to how others held him back. If narcissists forget about the past and move on to what is in front of them, presumably he did this to garner sympathy from the many people he would recount his sad sack stories to and didn't dwell on his past when he had no audience?

  • @sonutab7391
    @sonutab7391 3 года назад +3

    It is what it is - my abusive ex husband's favourite line when his father fell very sick and ultimately passed away. Of course echoed by his narcissistic mother.

    • @mrslatham
      @mrslatham 3 года назад +1

      Heard that one a lot! Mine also said, "I guess it's just something I'll have to deal with."

  • @sandyinkwiggyyassqueen2181
    @sandyinkwiggyyassqueen2181 3 года назад +10

    He unblocked me on twitter and Instagram and made it known. So I didn't respond and deleted my Twitter account and blocked him on instagram. I was the IPPS and he's getting ready to hoover for the third time in four months.

    • @sandyinkwiggyyassqueen2181
      @sandyinkwiggyyassqueen2181 3 года назад +4

      Oh and he's in the big texas blackout storm right now, so , karma

    • @KKk-lz7ut
      @KKk-lz7ut 3 года назад +1

      Sooo funny, mine did the same, he first blocked me when we broke up, and then unblocked me after 30days. I deleted my Instagram and fb about 7 days after breakup, didn’t show I noticed that he unblocked me on WhatsApp 😂 I let this sick child in a body of almost 36years old man play his mind games somewhere else 😂😂😂👋🏼
      you do the same! Don’t give up 🙏🏼☺️

    • @RaHB7
      @RaHB7 2 месяца назад

      He smells dinner

  • @TheRonaldbaxter
    @TheRonaldbaxter 3 года назад +3

    Switch on 🌝
    Switch off 🌑

  • @evemichael3850
    @evemichael3850 3 года назад +3

    :/ it's all relatable. 😞
    ("You cant just forget and move on!" ..)
    I can literally see he doesn't give a damn in his behaviour actions, silent treatment, like all we had meant not a damn thing, no remorse for the way he treated me, chop and go and move on and move on, no guilt reminiscing etc. Its so weird to hear confirmed what I was already seeing but doubted cuz it made no sense... wow. 😥
    *compartmentalising, to uninterested and severe degree... then think they are strong and smart because of it and you are weak for having "yucky feelings" trying to teach you to be like him, if not you're too much trouble for asking questions. He just has a caring lovestyle (says while bullying and putting you down and not caring hes left you traumatised and shaken when his mask dropped ... ) I mean was it even a mask?It was like it wasnt the same person I wouldn't have trusted to tell everything and open up to that degree that much if I knew I was dealing with someone so cold to slash you at your weakest points used against you, binned me and left while my head spinning past traumas he ignited, no explanation for what he did, and asking myself what the hell just happened! - but (him) 'here I go again overreacting "it's only a breakup", I mean I just only get 'triggered' to what he says.. 😳...' idk.) So heartlessly confusing them beings, acts 'nice one minute' scrating your head what you've then done that hes acting openly passive aggressive in your presance, then gives confusing explanations and logic generally, but creamed with a facade of normality and your wrong or crazy, or missing the mark... yet in the beginning you saw a human that could be a forever friend and cared for... fell in love with, so even they have turned bad you still see the humanity in them.

    • @mrslatham
      @mrslatham 3 года назад +1

      I completely identify with all this.

    • @birchthoughts8261
      @birchthoughts8261 3 года назад +1

      Mine just told me to "stfu" when I asked what was going on after he blocked me on everything after he got back with his ex.... we work together.... then he said "you were the thing standing in the way of me getting what I want, so I had to get rid of you. Don't take it personally"
      Charming!!!!!

  • @minion2266
    @minion2266 3 года назад +2

    I love listening to your voice.

  • @AnnaSus-q4g
    @AnnaSus-q4g Месяц назад

    How recognizable✨️

  • @BR9900-w5l
    @BR9900-w5l 3 года назад +6

    So if he's sitting on social media hiding in the shadows then I can only assume he hasn't forgotten. Lol.

  • @instagamrr
    @instagamrr Год назад

    God this is just endlessly fascinating to me. Currently seeing a narc, and from your info i was able to see I was a secondary source getting the shelving dynamic. In many ways I like it, cause I don’t have to waste energy maintaining the relationship with the narc either, while I try to find a real partner in my life. But occasionally I have to put him in his place if he tests me too much, and then I’m able to observe him scrambling just long enough to ‘get control’ (or so he thinks), and then go silent until inevitably I hit him up a few weeks later because I want something and it’s like the past is forgotten about. Although this time I may have gone too far and caused a narcissistic injury, so I’m not sure if things will continue. We’ll see if time resets it.
    The only thing is I swear I wish I could just forget like a narc does. I unfortunately cannot - I remember and have to battle my emotions to keep myself in check, which requires energy. It’s the reason I can never truly compete with a narc long term. They will always outlast me because their energy doesn’t leak like a sieve into emotions and empathy in particular. They still have other emotions, like rage, that can be terrifying.
    Anyway, it’s absolutely bonkers how accurate your information is. You’re brilliant. Thank you, as always, for sharing your insight with us!

  • @monicacordelia9545
    @monicacordelia9545 3 года назад +15

    I really appreciate all of your videos... I was watching the Bachelorette on Netflix, such a dysfunction show, and the love bombing is disturbing!!! 😂

    • @hgtudor-theultra
      @hgtudor-theultra  3 года назад +30

      When you access my work, you start seeing the world very differently.

    • @vaniar.7396
      @vaniar.7396 3 года назад

      What is the name of the show?

    • @liyahashley404
      @liyahashley404 3 года назад

      @@hgtudor-theultra thank you

    • @carriebell3566
      @carriebell3566 3 года назад

      @@vaniar.7396 the Bachelorette

  • @karrinrachelle
    @karrinrachelle 3 года назад +13

    Yea that’s what a couple of the psychics told me about him, it’s like I never existed when I’m not around, or even when we were together he was playing single/overly flirty?? sort of with a lot of people essentially the majority of the time almost-like out of sight out of mind kind of thing they eluded too vaguely with all that seems like. I do recall this one time he seemed especially out of character for the character he was playing with me the majority of the time anyways, and made it a bit much with the flirty-ish comments with This waitress friend, it was so weird, and she’s a nice person and all, but anyone would be like .. Seriously?? I know that’s not very nice, but honest okay.. But not even just that, they’d be like that because it’s obviously generally seen as socially awkward and rude to be that much like that being with your girlfriend and all especially, but regardless. Guess nothing really matters when you pretty much just view everyone as an appliance though, and even looks, kindness, personality, activities, all people have done for you and tried to do and the goodness they’ve shown you, and more then aren’t much a priority on your radar like for 70% of us.

    • @sharoncorrell943
      @sharoncorrell943 3 года назад +2

      My exnarc was very flirtatious too at times. It's like he had zero concept of what was appropriate behavior. He is a frontman in a band which just made him worse because of the attention he got. He wasn't in a band when we met but as soon as he started back and I went to two gigs, I knew it was not going to go well and it didn't. His new supply was at the 2nd show they did and I could tell by social media something was up. I called him out about it and he discarded me three days later. It's been four months now so the lovebombing is fading and she will soon see the mask slip if she hasn't already. 😊

  • @dawnserrano737
    @dawnserrano737 3 года назад +1

    Good! Forget, I did!

    • @dawnserrano737
      @dawnserrano737 3 года назад

      I dont care or think about the jerk! He deserves everything he gets, aweful person, God will deal with it!

  • @godlovesyousomuch5894
    @godlovesyousomuch5894 3 года назад +7

    So really the narc is totally controlled by every one they met bc they have nothing

  • @luckylass5444
    @luckylass5444 3 года назад +1

    It sounds like narcissists never just Netflix and chill. Too much scurrying and plotting, that’s exhausting.

  • @cherirohan675
    @cherirohan675 10 месяцев назад

    Spot on. All true🙏

  • @projectbandshirt4329
    @projectbandshirt4329 Месяц назад

    All they want is supply, resources, endless attention, financial assistance, the need to control and alienate, manipulate and abuse. If you don’t comply, their supply is at risk, and you get their wrath. They don’t always retreat, even if they have new supply and are engaging in character assassination. I’ve had zero interactions with my ex narc, he’s had other supply, yet continues to attempt contact almost daily. He’s vindictive yet I refuse contact.

  • @lovelyoungman
    @lovelyoungman 3 года назад +5

    What kind of miserabile life is that?!

  • @kimwill3420
    @kimwill3420 3 года назад +9

    Would you say every one who's watching and listening to you. Are Your fuel HG

    • @MariaJimenez-ye9sn
      @MariaJimenez-ye9sn 3 года назад +5

      He believes we are...

    • @user-jr2gb9ou8b
      @user-jr2gb9ou8b 3 года назад

      At this point...I think it's fuck fuel...It might be a "calling"..like a "Make shit right"MOVE.....who knows....but its RIGHT and effective as fuk...period

    • @user-jr2gb9ou8b
      @user-jr2gb9ou8b 3 года назад +1

      His purpose.....whtever....is helping possibly millions....NO QUESTIONS ASKED

  • @Pipsvw
    @Pipsvw Год назад +2

    I think I’m going to use to reverse narc my narcissist …. Totally view him as black band forget he existed - and if it comes until my radar I’ll view him as the appliance he was - a sperm donor

  • @teshuahyisreal158
    @teshuahyisreal158 3 года назад +5

    I hope he lose his memory than because i dont belong to him he even had his new supply trying to tell me "We belong to him" Im like here we go with this mind control.

  • @seochr
    @seochr 2 года назад +7

    once you realise and understand narcissism, their behaviour becomes hilarious. theres a constant mini soap-drama going on within themselves.. never-ending like "the day of our lives" cheap, constant and repetitive

  • @marti77k84
    @marti77k84 Год назад

    You’re hilarious, some of your videos I can’t stop laughing so I have to stop them and go back and watch them again.. bcuz it’s right on target 🎯

  • @wms72
    @wms72 3 года назад +2

    I see. That's why my ex doesn't contact me. He's asserting control by refusing to contact me. He was great at stonewalling me during the divorce. His pathetic little victory.

  • @draganabrkic9906
    @draganabrkic9906 3 года назад +13

    Thank you HG. Great video. Would it be possible to make a video on the types of narcissists and intimacy? Of course I will not write details of my experience. The only thing I will say is that it seemed " robotic", no emotions. Highly disappointing.

    • @hgtudor-theultra
      @hgtudor-theultra  3 года назад +11

      See The 10 Rejections of Intimacy and Why the Narcissist Rejects Intimacy.

    • @draganabrkic9906
      @draganabrkic9906 3 года назад +3

      @@hgtudor-theultra Found it and everything is 🎯 Thank you HG.

  • @maroneem3209
    @maroneem3209 3 месяца назад

    That’s very true

  • @clairewhite5490
    @clairewhite5490 3 года назад +1

    Liking the Tudor treatment.

  • @GuardianAngel..
    @GuardianAngel.. 3 года назад +8

    My f****g ex wife Grrrrr, that one made me laugh 😂

  • @kittenhasclaws3006
    @kittenhasclaws3006 Год назад +1

    I’ve got one for you.. (and yes I did purchase your parental narc literature, extremely helpful, thanks 😊) The narcissist suddenly paints the step-daughter white after her mother dies. Of course it’s a manipulation to “steal” (another story for another time - of Double talk & Narc f*ckery) the entire estate without resistance .. but imagine how bizarre to have always been painted black - and now your suddenly “white”. Even more bizarre - the way I’m no longer taking the bait.. it’s like he knows something is different but his narcissism won’t allow for the truth (that I have been educated) … HG .. he’s hugging me.. okay - he keeps 🤬 hugging me and taking me to lunch and visiting.. I’m thinking this performance is over the top.. he’s obviously controlling my capacity to sabotage his new facade - how did I not see his drama before?? That man never hugged me in his life! I just bite my tongue and observe.. as his “new” supply - one of my mothers couturiers - is now is his “new” girlfriend… (Can I see him kicking his lips to triangulate me with her - yes!) I mean it was two weeks after the funeral.. The end of their ‘Book End’ era - the performance was epic.. and all I could think was “..how I could’ve missed that this is obviously the template for my conman addiction?” The whole thing feels like a movie.. of course.. What a Shiester! .. He even threw a fit while reading that she cheated in her journals - as if he wasn’t the same,, pure theatre) feels unreal.. like decades.. and then “..ok well now onto the next facade.”
    Anyway, just adding to your “outrageous ways narcissists behave” data base. I haven’t babbled at you in ages. Hope all is well - I see you’re taking the world by storm. Thanks so much - as always. Because at least now I can see what’s really going on. ✨🙏🏼🥂

  • @OhhKikka
    @OhhKikka 3 года назад +1

    The Ultra gets fuel from reminiscing on every interaction we had several years ago, over the course of a few years. He writes about intricately detailed memories... in extremely unique and interesting romantic language. He certainly keeps a firm grip on my mind. I come onto the radar when things and activities he associates with me enter his mind one way or another, e.g. tea, honey, yoga, fitness, catching a flight, certain international and domestic cities, mountain cabins, spas, particular sensual pleasures, ice cream, every change of season, sundresses, bikinis, leather jackets, boots, scarves, lingerie, bathtubs, blondes, full moons, rainstorms... my absence.

  • @rachelmarchant2081
    @rachelmarchant2081 3 года назад +1

    OMG, I closed down my social media accounts to rid myself of my current narc. well my ex from 20 years ago that i now realize is also a narc is trying to reach me. WTF. Had he been spying this whole time. This is really creepy. I never had him on my social media ever. it's been over 20 years.

  • @susielee8101
    @susielee8101 3 года назад +4

    I respect all that you’re telling us, Sir, but please give us a video how to survive our PTSD from our toxic relationship. It’s almost impossible to break that trauma bond no matter how hard I’ve tried. Knowing he’s bad for me I’m still stuck at missing our honeymoon periods. The thrill of making up after breaking up has poisoned my Brian after nine years of the coaster roller ride.

    • @triplejmom7826
      @triplejmom7826 2 года назад +2

      You will probably want to read his book “exorcism” at least as a starting point. Good luck to you. There are many books for you to choose from to help. 🙏🏼

  • @tonya--7704
    @tonya--7704 3 года назад +1

    Of course not. They're talking cr*p about you to anyone who will listen even 20 years after you're gone.

  • @sonnyortiz4943
    @sonnyortiz4943 3 года назад +1

    It's like clockwork with her, send random text messages to see if I will respond, used as just another pawn in their game.

  • @lyndamitchelle4536
    @lyndamitchelle4536 3 года назад +3

    Get all the information available so you will know what to look out for and go one with your life. Forgive them and press forward.

  • @ldn1929
    @ldn1929 3 года назад +9

    If the narcissist stays withdrawn after u put him/her in their place. For instance you told them to get lost after they tried to speak to you. Now that they quiet where normally they would say something from time to time. Do they really think that's control? How????? 😂 😂 😂
    If someone tells me "get lost" and I stay away it's rather stupid of me thinking that I'm in control, in control of what exactly lol

    • @erickatownsend9156
      @erickatownsend9156 3 года назад +6

      Because they got fuel from your response negative energy fuel them also when you go off on them they are happy cause they were able to pull it out of you. The best response it to say nothing i mean zero and block them out your life

    • @wms72
      @wms72 3 года назад

      No, they are not in control in that situation. But you don't exist for them until something reminds them of you. Then, they can assert control by refusing to contact you.

  • @niajuita7424
    @niajuita7424 3 года назад

    Very scaryyyyy statement HG..loveeeeee your videos..

  • @justthoughts8872
    @justthoughts8872 3 года назад +6

    I'm giving you all the fuel you will need today. You are just magnificent

  • @mariamkinen8036
    @mariamkinen8036 3 года назад +4

    It's the narcs , who need psychotherapy.

  • @shereehudnall4220
    @shereehudnall4220 3 года назад +3

    There is something missing with the narcissist. They miss out on so much because they care nothing for anyone but themselves.
    A narcissist isn't the only one who puts things in boxes. How do think we survive after being used?

  • @shamshadmughal1628
    @shamshadmughal1628 Год назад

    Thankyou

  • @Dtella55
    @Dtella55 3 года назад +18

    I wish he would forget I existed and stop stalking non-stop breaking into my home and car and stealing any and everything...he got with 3rd party narc and she stole his money and he lost everything in divorce now he trying to coming back for narcissistic supply money...s*x and housing...now he is envious and jealous still trying to destroy me...

    • @hgtudor-theultra
      @hgtudor-theultra  3 года назад +30

      You need to work on the no contact regime as something is causing Hoover Triggers.

    • @CarterSams
      @CarterSams 3 года назад +3

      Non stop breaking into your home? Call the cops.

    • @Thang4321
      @Thang4321 3 года назад +2

      As much as I feel for your situation and hope you all the best, I do think, without you enabling, he won’t be able to come back for sex, house or whatever.
      Ignore him, stay no contact, block him, call the police on him if he’s around ur place

    • @drbrendatomanek
      @drbrendatomanek 3 года назад

      Stalks me in obscure places, went to text him regarding behavior and I’m blocked! He is a well respected attorney whom is a pillar of the community!

    • @familiamckenziefriend1130
      @familiamckenziefriend1130 3 года назад +5

      @@markg2307 you can report to the police, seek injunction orders and not have sex with people. We can control our own actions and behaviours.

  • @janelleespinosa6247
    @janelleespinosa6247 3 года назад +2

    HG, I hear you say...their Narcissism won't let them...is there absolutely NO choice for them? Can't they control their speech or anger enough not to hurl daggers at their IPPS or others? Is there NO accountability bc of the Narcissism?

  • @starqueenlotus3755
    @starqueenlotus3755 2 года назад +2

    This is scary. Actually

  • @No-Name-f8p
    @No-Name-f8p Год назад +2

    Empaths: How about when the Narcissist calls you after seven (7) years cause he’s in town visiting his mother and says, “I was thinking about you, come on over.”… and then you laugh. And hang up. 😂?

  • @gostakount7383
    @gostakount7383 Год назад +1

    Isnt this the truth. After five years of zero contact, he showed up in my driveway about two years ago as if he belonged here. I refused to listen to anything he had to say and the only thing I said to him was "Get the f*** out of here" and walked into my house. To my surprise he left, but I think that may have been because he was worried I was going to reappear the shotgun.

    • @zigorxxx
      @zigorxxx 7 месяцев назад +1

      Hahahahahahahahahaha

  • @tracythomson2604
    @tracythomson2604 4 месяца назад

    I agree - re: the York Sisters. Eugenie (in particular) strikes me as 'entitled' - not unlike both her mother and father. I would also question her judgement - she is (or was) 'friends' with Harry's wife - that indicates a lack of judgement (IMO).

  • @kimberlyadams333
    @kimberlyadams333 2 года назад

    Bastante útil video para reforzar mi decisión de mantener el "contacto zero".

  • @msdemeanour
    @msdemeanour 3 года назад +5

    If I am forgotten, why does he keep hoovering with pathetic messages, 5 months after I dumped him?

    • @hgtudor-theultra
      @hgtudor-theultra  3 года назад +9

      Listen to the video. You are coming on the radar and at that point you are no longer forgotten.

    • @annemarie226
      @annemarie226 3 года назад +1

      Its a challenge to understand how their mind works for sure. Mine calls me daily, at random times but only once a day. His number is blocked but he calls from No Caller ID and it shows on my phone. It’s frustrating but I do my best to ignore it. It’s just for the sake of getting the blocked number to show on my phone and he doesn’t let it ring long enough to get to the VM recording. He’s been doing that for months. Every single day.

    • @marcdonvito6485
      @marcdonvito6485 3 года назад +1

      @@annemarie226 My system is based on white list/black list/unknown. You build a white list of all people whose numbers you will answer. Then a black list of blocked numbers. All other calls are unknown, so you do not answer but go to voicemail. Your unknown ringtone should be very non-intrusive so you are not bothered. Your voicemail greeting should NOT include your name or address.
      Most unknowns will not leave a message, so no problem. Very few unknowns are harmful, and can be moved to the blacklist. Recently I received an unknown with someone screaming obscenities, so I just blocked it and it went away. Never answer "No Caller ID".

    • @lastmanstanding9408
      @lastmanstanding9408 3 года назад +2

      @@annemarie226 yes, mine happens in blocks lasting weeks at a time. Just different numbers and silent calls, 4 times in one day. So irritating and he knows it. Like he wants to hear voice but can't speak. Block each number but more come through. He is with new supply and does it just during working hours so supply won't know. Sneaky low life.

  • @terribrown4683
    @terribrown4683 3 года назад +1

    Yea I'm pretty sure I'm forgotten