Same! I've been friends with surface level people and it always never feels as authentic as it could so what I'm gonna do is put myself out there but also be safe and my most authentic self- no longer hiding to be or fit someone else's preference ❤ We got this!!
Why don’t lonely people here find each other and make some friends? We can not meet but at least we can make a call and share. Just randomly drop your ig, and reach people out 🧐
I have friends but I’ve never had a best friend. All of my friends frequently make plans without me and I want that deep connection with a friend. I’ve always wanted a friend that feels like family and knows me like how my family knows me. But I’ve always been the odd one out. Even as I try to talk to new people that may also feel out of place they all don’t feel like I’m their best friend and don’t know me deeply. They all don’t want to truly know me I feel like I’m always the person putting in the effort. The friends I do feel a deep connection with they have their own best friends and don’t want to talk outside of class or we don’t have time.
I have never relate to something so much as this. I hope you find people in your life that cares about you and prioritize you as much as you do to them! 🤍
No fr why is it so hard to find someone to consider a best friend? There’s been four different people in my life who I’ve wanted to consider a best friend and they all either laughed to my face or told me they already have someone else they consider a best friend even though we talk(ed) every day
I think it’s probably unlucky surrounding but also the expectation to meet someone and they will be your best friend just because they are the odd one too. I think best friend(s) are like falling in love, you find during time if there is that type of chemistry, or if it is just casual friendship. If both “partners” are equals and do the equal lifting to support the relationship. And sometimes even best friends stop being that because life drifts you apart. For me what helped was approaching people just to know them without placing the expectation of a specific outcome on them. Obviously I think it’s normal to have the need for a chicken soup friend, and not blaming anyone at all, just sharing what helped me in my approach to then find people that have become true pillars of my life: start accepting them and what they are able to offer as I’d like for them to do with me (with the reminder tho to not accept bullshit)
I heard somewhere that expectation is the root of unhappiness and expectation puts a stress on everyone in the interaction. So, i think when you meet someone new, you can just share things and see if they reciprocate. if they don’t, you can just let the friendship go, there’s no need to try making it into a deeper friendship.
So true I think expectations and excessive fantasies ruin sometime your life, and I get easily disappointed or offended for ex., but people don't have to play according my rules
I wholeheartedly agree about keeping that regular report! You cannot call me a close friend if you’re not following me in life. That includes regularly keeping up w me and me doing the same for you. I change so much, experience so much. You cannot know me if you don’t know all the ways I’ve changed and that takes regular communication.
This video unfortunately made me realize that I have been a chicken soup friend but I guess no has truly been the same for me. I am rlly struggling with friendships and trust at the moment because I had a pretty big falling out with my bff. I hate not having a chicken soup friend when you were hurt by what u thought was one.
I'm in the same boat. I've definitely had friends i thought i was really close with, but it ended up they didn't really match that. It really sucks, but whatever you do, don't let it make you bitter. Keep searching and you will find the person/people you're looking for
this was so nice ive lately thought about how i always put off opportunities to deepen my friendships bc I'm not in the right headspace and wont be good company. I've also felt that as a result although i want a chicken soup friend, i don't blame my friends for not doing things bc i am also hesitant to be a chicken soup friend for them. as in i have a wall up and I'm scared of vulnerability. although that is getting better and better as i make small strides in doing things out of my comfort zone
woah omg I’m actually internally tearing up from this comment I wrote 3 weeks ago :,) I’m so glad ppl resonated with feeling like this and to whoever reads this in the future I just went out again today with friends and felt similarly but I’m proud of me for not listening to the thoughts that I am not good enough to be around friends
Like many other people in the comments section, I've never had a best friend. I always feel like I'm the one that puts in more effort than the others, or the one that gets left out. When I entered University I finally got the friend group I've always wanted. This was the first time in my life I felt like I've belonged and people actually accepted me for who I am. Unfortunately after we graduated everyone parted ways, as we were all foreigners that came from different countries. I now live in another country, miles away from where I was born. It's been many years but I'm struggling to develop close friendships here. I really envy people who have a solid group of friends around.
I can relate to making good friends when I went to college. I don’t know if you want any advice, but maybe you could reach out to them and try to arrange a video call once a month or something similar.
Omg that's happening to me as well too. It's horrible :(( I've never had a real best friend like one you know all about and they know everything about you and you can spend a while not seeing each other and then when you do, it's like you saw them yesterday and you don't even drift apart and stuff. until I met my "best friend", who like yours is not the same as she used to be and I can tell that we are drifting apart as well.. :( I'm so sorry that's happening at the moment for you, I really really hope things get better for you
I don’t have any chicken soup friends. I have made the effort and have been made fun of and treated badly, gaslighted horribly. When I’ve been their biggest cheerleader and they couldn’t even show up for me. But that’s my energy and that’s theirs. I’ve done A LOT of healing. And I know when I do move places my chicken soup friends will find me. Or at least I hope I will. Thank you for this video!! Not a lot of people would talk about this ❤❤ so thank you!!
I have a lot of friends. I hate myself for being so friendly. But i never had someone whom i can call bestfriend. Those people that i call friends never really gave the same energy the same way I do to them. Most of my friends got married, had kids but no one ever invited me to be one of their kids godparents or to be one of thier bridesmade. I always feel like just the sidekick , the extra companion, the "just someone they know"' I feel being out of place. I always try to be a good friend, someone they can rely on. I always support everything about them, achievements . I always compliment them, support thier business and all . But they never did the same to me, not even a simple share or like. I really wanna know what's really wrong with me. I am not even sure already if they really see me as a friend. I hate myself being a people pleaser and in the end no one ever do the same even bare the minimum as a friend. So I am now trying to learn to set my boundaries. i dont wanna be the same people pleaser, stupid friendly person
Just wanted to say, you’re not a “stupid friendly person” and nothing is “wrong with you”. What you expect is reasonable, it’s just they couldn’t or didn’t want to give the same to you. That’s not your fault. You sound lovely and I hope you find your chicken soup friends who will show up for you like you do for them and that they help you realise that your needs and wants aren’t “stupid”. 💛
I have a few friends, we hangout maybe once a month if time allows it. But I really want a chicken soup friend who will be by my side when I have a bad day or when I feel lonely. I don't have any close friendships and all of them feel superficial. Its also my fault partly since I don't want to make that deeper connection, and its different for everyone. Like other people have said, others may already have close friends of their own.
A couple years ago I gave several of my "friends" my number then dipped, told them to reach out to me if they wanna talk. Two years went by hearing nothing from any of them until about a month ago when one texted me that one of our mutuals had died. Long story short, it's worth leaving a group that doesn't value you, and finding/building a new group that actually cares about you.
To ease the hurt of being neglected I always tell myself that it's natural for my friends to drift away from me, but sometimes I think that that is not something I'd do to them... I wish I too have people who don't give up on me easily. It makes me hesitate to reach out to them because I think the reason why they don't reach out to me anymore is because they might not like having me around????? which might be untrue but I just can't help thinking about it that way. Anyway thank you so much for sharing your concern, Ze! I clicked immediately when this video showed up on my feed as it truly describes how I'm feeling. I hope you find your chicken soup friends really soon
A true and good friend is like your partner but without the romantic/sexual aspect lol We all deserve a chicken soup friend and I'm glad you've found someone like that 💓
It hit me, about 10 years ago that I didn’t have any chicken soup friends. I noticed I was always the one putting in the effort to call, schedule hangouts, etc. I decided to label all those friends, acquaintances. After a debilitating injury, all those acquaintances went away, except for 1. It took a bad injury for me to truly find my one, Chicken Soup friend, but I’m glad I found them and I hope to find even more! Thank you for sharing your story and your advice! 🙏🏾
oh my gosh this really resonated with me 😭 it's been 7 years since i moved abroad and i've only made one friend that i meet regularly (like 4 times a year) and i have no close friends. growing up i've always had different group of girl best friends. but it was easier back then when you met each other at school every single day, had the same interests, and went through the same challenges. but when you grow up, it's so hard to meet people who actually matches your energy and 'get' you because you all have different backgrounds and stories. i have best friends but they're all back home - the key difference is that i can really be vulnerable in these friendships. i can always talk about my feelings, hardships, anxiety and depression and they would understand and give me long answers and not just this 'oh i hope you feel better soon!', they actually care because they understand it. i feel what you said about the key to making meaningful friendships being 'opening up' - i don't think i've really ever opened up to anyone here in this country. anyway, great video
Give opening up a try to people you feel like could be your future close friends, and see how they hold your vulnerability! If they’re really your people, then you’ll feel supported and understood~
(haven’t watched the video yet) omg this is exactly what I’ve been feeling like lately… I used to be really close with this one friend, but she suddenly started getting closer and closer with another classmate (which is completely normal, our friend circles are bound to change, and that classmate is such an amazing person in every way possible and I love her with my whole heart, because she’s really supportive and nice) and I’ve been feeling like we’re drifting away… I mean it’s not like we even share the same interests, style, future plans, dreams, music taste or if I ever even have wanted to be like her, but I have so many fun memories with her and I don’t want to let go off them… I just don’t want to be alone when it comes to school - when we’re told to get in pairs during PE or when we have to chose someone to do a project with, I’m scared I’ll have no one to be in a pair with in school… But hopefully I’ll stop feeling this way soon… and start being okay with being my own company.
omg you are so sweet you deserve to find someone who really appreciates you because just from this comment i can tell that you spread such a kind and positive energy!!! But also remember that being alone is completely fine because at the end of the day we are our best companion, and when you aren't looking for something specific everything comes
you sound like an amazing soul and so is your friend! I'm sure that if you express how much you value them, that they will really appreciate your candidness. I've been in your shoes throughout my life, and new friends will always come through new environments/experiences as long as you maintain an open heart and mind 💗
Im a 21 year old in new york currently trying to better myself for me and my doggie with seizures. Im fighting my bad thoughts so i can be a good mom for my furbaby
Its really important to me to know that other people feel this way too (i mean, it sucks, but at least we feel this way ✨together✨). The only 'best friend' ive ever had was not a best friend at all; she bullied me under the guis of friendship, and ive since struggled immensly with friendship. So thank you So much.
This video came to me at the right time. I feel like I’m not really close with my friends. I do hope to have a chicken soup friend. I don’t know if it’s just me but I feel awkward around my friends. Sometimes it doesn’t like they’re my friends. I think I needed to see this video because I’ve been distant from everyone.
I, like many others who commented on this video, don't have a chicken soup friend, but this video has motivated me to start trying to be one for the friends I have. I really stand by the rule of treating others the way you want to be treated, and after reflecting a lot about all the past friendships I've had, I realized I didn't put much effort into communicating or trying to hang out with them outside of school. I was always too nervous to ask and spent my time waiting for someone else to, which of course barely ever happened.
few days ago i turned 27, and for 2 years in a row people that i consider as close friends didn't remember my birthday at all. it makes me wonder if we were actually close, or we finally grew apart.
I've also turned 27 recently and there's been a lot less birthday wishes, belated wishes etc. it really sucks, especially if there are no wishes from the people we considered close 😢
I really connect to the stuff she is saying. When you don't get the emotional support form your blood family the it is just hard to expect that from your chosen family. People really don't make efforts these days. They take friendship as granted. In my case I try to make plans,meet my friends but they just don't make efforts . That's why making close friends with whom you share emotional intimacy is so hard.
I love this video so much, it's honestly so comforting. I rly needed this yap cuz I used to have a friendgroup of 5 best friends of 6 years and we were so close we were basically chicken soup friends and we experienced everything together and were just the closest and I recognize that's so rare now. But it fell apart because of conflicting values, people changing, blah blah. I could talk for hours about how close and special we were to each other like we never had to doubt our closeness, we knew we were some of the most important people in each others' lives (after family). Now I found so many new friends, who I am so so grateful for, but often I feel so sad, empty and lonely because it just doesn't feel the same. We're just not as close. They just don't get me as much as *they* did. But also i need to be grateful and not set unrealistic expectations- we've been friends for only 6 months, while I was friends with my old friends for 6 entire years. I'm so grateful for my new friends anyway. Anyways, this video helped me a lot and thank you so much again. I hope we can all create our chicken soup friends. :)
I really resonated with your thinking. Also chicken soup friend immediately made me think of 心灵鸡汤, which is a way of saying comforting but includes the word chicken soup in it haha. Excited to see more of your content❤
I hit 25 a few months back and literally had an entire re-evaluation of my life and friendships. I've outgrown some people recently, others I outgrew years ago. I've hidden who I've been for so long to be nicer, sweeter, more gentle and feminine when I naturally have a toughness to myself. I'm still sweet, and gentle to an extent but I've learned to swap the niceness for kindness and show up as the friend I wish I had growing up and start showing up as someone I'd like for another person to meet and enjoy the company and presence of 😊
Maybe it’s because I’m neurodivergent but I also feel like as a friend sometimes I need my friends to let me know what kind of support they need & also I try to express where my energy level & capabilities are when things happen - because sometimes there is no energy there either & we’re both going through it and can commiserate. But I do think expecting someone to know what you want from them for support without expressing it is unfair. Hopefully this came off the way I meant it to 😆 Okay so I wrote that before the video was over but you do stress communication. It really is paramount to having a friendship like that
What you said really makes sense to me. If you don’t mind me asking, how did you know you were neurodivergent? I think I might be neurodivergent but I am not sure because I don’t have any official diagnosis. Also if you are not comfortable you don’t have to answer the question
That's so cool, because I don't communicate about such things with my friend, but I'm low-key afraid of talking things that trigger me. I also have a thought like not everyone is ready for such deep discussions, about feelings, triggers, problems.. So I decided to leave the situation and the person cuz it was so weird that there were no complaints towards me but I have opposite feelings towards this person so complicated 😹😹
I'm about to enter college and I've been thinking a lot about the type of friends I wanna make and... I feel like you defined it perfectly ~ I can't wait to find my chicken soup friends ☺
love all this advice. i feel like i want to be a friend like this to someone. i've always kept people at a distance subconsciously because all my best friends have always left me when i was younger but now i think its time to change.
I feel seen. The moment you said Chicken Soup friend, I was like yup, lets read, cuddle, and eat soup in silence together. Friends to me are the people that fill in my cozy spaces of home, space, and time.
Wow I can related to almost everything you said. Love the concept of chicken soup friends. So sweet of your friends to come by! Hoping to more friends like that where I’m at in California ❤ Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences.
This video just put all the feelings I’ve been having lately into perfect words and I also love the chicken soup analogy :D One of the things that I struggle with tho is I do put in the effort I do put in the energy but I never receive the same level back so it makes me question sometimes wether friendships are worth it at all but I really really have hope and want to find a chicken soup friend I hope we can all experience that at least once in our lives
I am 24 y.o too, and I relate to you so much. I have two really good friends but its long distance.. its so hard and I feel lonely sometimes. You are so brave for sharing that on RUclips. so Be proud 🎉❤
i had been in a friendship era. they were literally nice to one another but there was a situation which made us be separate. im extremely missing my girlsss❤️🩹
yes. now i will watch the video post-video edit: good video. i've just started college so i have a huge increase in opportunity to meet and get to know people which is something i've been hoping for for a long time. the emphasis on healthy and communicative friendships is good (i really need that drilled into my head). also, this is a good overlap with the topic i've been exploring which is having girl friends as a trans girl. it's something i'm very not used to, but really need. i can see it coming soon and i'll be doing my best to have it work out.
This was such a lovely video 😭 thank you for making it, I felt like I needed it. And I absolutely love the phrase "chicken soup friends" ❤ it depicts the idea so well. Like you spoke and explained it so well, put my feelings and thoughts into words! Thank you 🌷
I have been feeling really lonely for a really long time, so this video really talked to me. I have a few friends, none I would consider a chicken soup friend, because as much as I am that type of friend to them, they're not to me. I used to be really sad about it but now, I try to do things on my own if no one is here to do it with me. I'm proud of myself for doing things, even if I'm alone, but I really wish I could find some people who would enjoy to do things with me, and who would bring me some chocolate muffins when I'm feeling bad or I'm sick.
I wanna say something is sometimes the mistake is not in the people u meet the mistake is in u look at people and also watch yourself with them if we all see other people r toxic so will never be anyone look at how u behave cuz sometimes u r the toxic friend
I used to have a close friend. She always listened my problems. We laughed and chatted almost every day and when during lockdown we stopped but when I met her at school after lockdown it didn't feel like we didn't talk much for months. We had a great bond. But just a few months ago another girl came in between and we've grown distant. The other girl is a total b. We don't talk like before but when we do it doesn't feels right. It feels like I'm talking to a whole new person a stranger. Maybe I'm really not fun at all.
Especially sucks when you’ve felt this way for years and then someone becomes your best friend but you can never tell them that they are. You know if you do they’ll tell you they don’t have a best friend…they have multiple close friends. I don’t relate to this at all……
I no longer have any want or desire for a friend that understands me at a deeper level. I have had one in my entire life, I knew him for 10 years and was literally the best man at his wedding, and he so easily wrung me out and tossed me aside. I'm not saying he forgot about me, but he betrayed my trust so thoroughly that I literally needed to cut him out of my life. I am a very deeply introverted individual and have much difficulty even getting so close and opening up to people, but the feeling of having someone "get" me is slowly fading over time. I'm not that close with my family and while I do have friends I feel like I am just entertaining to be around. But I'm too old to start over. My life is too busy now and I enjoy and am thankful for the company I do have.
Can u make more videos to sharing about how to keep closer any relationship in daily life? Thats not a bad idea? Your video touch my feeling, hopefully u can upload more videos 🎉🎉🎉
Hey, I saw this video pretty late but this really speaks to me! I feel like, another thing is that COVID happened. Changing how everyone feels about each other, but I'll keep pushing to be the chicken noodle friend, because I love people!!! I hope everyone can find their chicken noodle friend, but I'll always be lurking on social media for a new friend. :D
I’ve never related to something so much. I’ve never have chicken soup friends and I want them so much. Recently I got sick and told my friends that I’m not doing well and all they responded with was “that’s great” (sarcasm) or “that’s not good”. Kind of sucks, especially when I get pretty much the same treatment from my family. It feels like the only way to get any kind of attention at all is to scream out and get angry but that’s what I’m desperately trying not to do. Usually this also results in a bad reception anyway. Hoping one day I can find at least one friend who actually makes an effort or sympathises with me. For now I guess I have to be my own friend and make myself happy how I can :) Sending happiness to everyone
I have felt like this and my only close friend was my girlfriend. We did everything together, but a few weeks ago she broke up with me. I’ve never felt so alone.
I've had good friends before, and my only friend right now I consider my best friend. But even then, because of the distance (he lives in the US, I live in Asia), I still feel lonely. On top of that, the way we became friends is complicated. He used to bully me when we were children, but apologized sincerely when he moved to the US and learned from his mistakes. We've bonded, and it feels like we're equals, but I can't shake the thought that I want a friendship that started with mutual respect. It's difficult, I want to be surrounded by people who love me, but I just can't seem to find any.
I relate to this very much. But I think I need to be more of the chicken soup friend because I had a friend who was that for me back in the day and we are no longer friends. I’m part to me but also it was not healthiest friendship as well. I hope she’s doing well and hey we still follow eachother at least😅 Can you make more videos like this? I love your vibe(,:
I was actually looking for a comment like this My chicken soup friend changed and it started to feel one sided, but I've moved on now But now I want a close friend
In my experience I don’t want to judge those friends who only send messages because I left my hometown and being in long distance friendships has its negatives and people can’t send you a chicken soup online so maybe if I was near them and asked them for support i’m sure they would definitely help me.
I just moved with my bf, while I love hanging out with with him I know I also need friends in a new city, I just don’t know how to put myself out there. Starting with no one is just so intimidating
This may sound silly but one of the reasons i feel like i lack a chicken soup friend is that people arent allowed round my house! I would love to invite people round all the time if i could (cause i would never invite myself round to someone elses house) but instead if i ask someone to hang it always feels like there has to be a purpose to that hangout as if chilling and chatting isnt enough 😅I have some great friends in my life that Im always happy to be there for but it never feels like anyones there for me. Maybe when i go to uni things will be different.
You are good person, beautiful and mindful. I am sure you can come accross to good friends... thanks for your great video dear. Wish you all the best...
what a beautiful way to put it, chicken soup friends 🥹 it's so important to cultivate this type of relationship in our lives- working on becoming this type of friend to the lovely friends i have! thanks for this lil yap sesh ♡
I'm the popular girl who gets on well with everyone. Almost everyone loves me but I'm never part of their friend group I'm alone in a crowd and feel lonely idk what to do to have close friends
I just want solid girl best friends group 😭😭
Same! I've been friends with surface level people and it always never feels as authentic as it could so what I'm gonna do is put myself out there but also be safe and my most authentic self- no longer hiding to be or fit someone else's preference ❤ We got this!!
i feel like all my life i just wanted a chicken soup friend, why can't i find any? in any friendships i've been in they have always been one sided..
I’ve been feeling the same lately and it’s driving me crazy how lonely i feel 😢
If ur comfortable with sharing ur insta or other social media platform I would love to be a chicken soup friend (if I can)
Me too...
same
Why don’t lonely people here find each other and make some friends? We can not meet but at least we can make a call and share. Just randomly drop your ig, and reach people out 🧐
I have friends but I’ve never had a best friend. All of my friends frequently make plans without me and I want that deep connection with a friend. I’ve always wanted a friend that feels like family and knows me like how my family knows me. But I’ve always been the odd one out. Even as I try to talk to new people that may also feel out of place they all don’t feel like I’m their best friend and don’t know me deeply. They all don’t want to truly know me I feel like I’m always the person putting in the effort. The friends I do feel a deep connection with they have their own best friends and don’t want to talk outside of class or we don’t have time.
I have never relate to something so much as this. I hope you find people in your life that cares about you and prioritize you as much as you do to them! 🤍
No fr why is it so hard to find someone to consider a best friend? There’s been four different people in my life who I’ve wanted to consider a best friend and they all either laughed to my face or told me they already have someone else they consider a best friend even though we talk(ed) every day
@rainydays2904 whaat, why can’t they just have multiple best friends. Does there really have to only be one ‘best friend’? That sucks.
I think it’s probably unlucky surrounding but also the expectation to meet someone and they will be your best friend just because they are the odd one too. I think best friend(s) are like falling in love, you find during time if there is that type of chemistry, or if it is just casual friendship. If both “partners” are equals and do the equal lifting to support the relationship. And sometimes even best friends stop being that because life drifts you apart.
For me what helped was approaching people just to know them without placing the expectation of a specific outcome on them. Obviously I think it’s normal to have the need for a chicken soup friend, and not blaming anyone at all, just sharing what helped me in my approach to then find people that have become true pillars of my life: start accepting them and what they are able to offer as I’d like for them to do with me (with the reminder tho to not accept bullshit)
I feel you
ok but this window set up and puppy companion is so adorable!!!
Yess!!!
I heard somewhere that expectation is the root of unhappiness and expectation puts a stress on everyone in the interaction. So, i think when you meet someone new, you can just share things and see if they reciprocate. if they don’t, you can just let the friendship go, there’s no need to try making it into a deeper friendship.
So true
I think expectations and excessive fantasies ruin sometime your life, and I get easily disappointed or offended for ex., but people don't have to play according my rules
I wholeheartedly agree about keeping that regular report! You cannot call me a close friend if you’re not following me in life. That includes regularly keeping up w me and me doing the same for you. I change so much, experience so much. You cannot know me if you don’t know all the ways I’ve changed and that takes regular communication.
This video unfortunately made me realize that I have been a chicken soup friend but I guess no has truly been the same for me. I am rlly struggling with friendships and trust at the moment because I had a pretty big falling out with my bff. I hate not having a chicken soup friend when you were hurt by what u thought was one.
awwh noo I really hope you do find a chicken soup friend don’t loose the inner chicken soup energy you have
I'm in the same boat. I've definitely had friends i thought i was really close with, but it ended up they didn't really match that. It really sucks, but whatever you do, don't let it make you bitter. Keep searching and you will find the person/people you're looking for
this was so nice ive lately thought about how i always put off opportunities to deepen my friendships bc I'm not in the right headspace and wont be good company. I've also felt that as a result although i want a chicken soup friend, i don't blame my friends for not doing things bc i am also hesitant to be a chicken soup friend for them. as in i have a wall up and I'm scared of vulnerability. although that is getting better and better as i make small strides in doing things out of my comfort zone
Cheering for you :]] I resonate with your experience a lot. Hope to find our chicken soup friends someday.
woah omg I’m actually internally tearing up from this comment I wrote 3 weeks ago :,) I’m so glad ppl resonated with feeling like this and to whoever reads this in the future I just went out again today with friends and felt similarly but I’m proud of me for not listening to the thoughts that I am not good enough to be around friends
Like many other people in the comments section, I've never had a best friend. I always feel like I'm the one that puts in more effort than the others, or the one that gets left out. When I entered University I finally got the friend group I've always wanted. This was the first time in my life I felt like I've belonged and people actually accepted me for who I am. Unfortunately after we graduated everyone parted ways, as we were all foreigners that came from different countries. I now live in another country, miles away from where I was born. It's been many years but I'm struggling to develop close friendships here. I really envy people who have a solid group of friends around.
I can relate to making good friends when I went to college. I don’t know if you want any advice, but maybe you could reach out to them and try to arrange a video call once a month or something similar.
I technically have a "best friend" but she's not the same as she used to be and I can feel us drifting apart :(
Omg that's happening to me as well too. It's horrible :(( I've never had a real best friend like one you know all about and they know everything about you and you can spend a while not seeing each other and then when you do, it's like you saw them yesterday and you don't even drift apart and stuff.
until I met my "best friend", who like yours is not the same as she used to be and I can tell that we are drifting apart as well.. :( I'm so sorry that's happening at the moment for you, I really really hope things get better for you
I wish i had a friend or even a friend group
I don’t have any chicken soup friends. I have made the effort and have been made fun of and treated badly, gaslighted horribly. When I’ve been their biggest cheerleader and they couldn’t even show up for me. But that’s my energy and that’s theirs. I’ve done A LOT of healing. And I know when I do move places my chicken soup friends will find me. Or at least I hope I will. Thank you for this video!! Not a lot of people would talk about this ❤❤ so thank you!!
1:06 hehe ur doggie is soo cute.
I have a lot of friends. I hate myself for being so friendly. But i never had someone whom i can call bestfriend. Those people that i call friends never really gave the same energy the same way I do to them. Most of my friends got married, had kids but no one ever invited me to be one of their kids godparents or to be one of thier bridesmade. I always feel like just the sidekick , the extra companion, the "just someone they know"' I feel being out of place. I always try to be a good friend, someone they can rely on. I always support everything about them, achievements . I always compliment them, support thier business and all . But they never did the same to me, not even a simple share or like. I really wanna know what's really wrong with me. I am not even sure already if they really see me as a friend. I hate myself being a people pleaser and in the end no one ever do the same even bare the minimum as a friend. So I am now trying to learn to set my boundaries. i dont wanna be the same people pleaser, stupid friendly person
Just wanted to say, you’re not a “stupid friendly person” and nothing is “wrong with you”. What you expect is reasonable, it’s just they couldn’t or didn’t want to give the same to you. That’s not your fault. You sound lovely and I hope you find your chicken soup friends who will show up for you like you do for them and that they help you realise that your needs and wants aren’t “stupid”. 💛
I have a few friends, we hangout maybe once a month if time allows it. But I really want a chicken soup friend who will be by my side when I have a bad day or when I feel lonely. I don't have any close friendships and all of them feel superficial. Its also my fault partly since I don't want to make that deeper connection, and its different for everyone. Like other people have said, others may already have close friends of their own.
A couple years ago I gave several of my "friends" my number then dipped, told them to reach out to me if they wanna talk. Two years went by hearing nothing from any of them until about a month ago when one texted me that one of our mutuals had died.
Long story short, it's worth leaving a group that doesn't value you, and finding/building a new group that actually cares about you.
You're so so so underrated!! Your editing style, your voice, music, everything about this video is just perfectt
Thank you so much!! 🩷
To ease the hurt of being neglected I always tell myself that it's natural for my friends to drift away from me, but sometimes I think that that is not something I'd do to them... I wish I too have people who don't give up on me easily. It makes me hesitate to reach out to them because I think the reason why they don't reach out to me anymore is because they might not like having me around????? which might be untrue but I just can't help thinking about it that way. Anyway thank you so much for sharing your concern, Ze! I clicked immediately when this video showed up on my feed as it truly describes how I'm feeling. I hope you find your chicken soup friends really soon
A true and good friend is like your partner but without the romantic/sexual aspect lol
We all deserve a chicken soup friend and I'm glad you've found someone like that 💓
It hit me, about 10 years ago that I didn’t have any chicken soup friends. I noticed I was always the one putting in the effort to call, schedule hangouts, etc. I decided to label all those friends, acquaintances. After a debilitating injury, all those acquaintances went away, except for 1. It took a bad injury for me to truly find my one, Chicken Soup friend, but I’m glad I found them and I hope to find even more! Thank you for sharing your story and your advice! 🙏🏾
oh my gosh this really resonated with me 😭 it's been 7 years since i moved abroad and i've only made one friend that i meet regularly (like 4 times a year) and i have no close friends. growing up i've always had different group of girl best friends. but it was easier back then when you met each other at school every single day, had the same interests, and went through the same challenges. but when you grow up, it's so hard to meet people who actually matches your energy and 'get' you because you all have different backgrounds and stories. i have best friends but they're all back home - the key difference is that i can really be vulnerable in these friendships. i can always talk about my feelings, hardships, anxiety and depression and they would understand and give me long answers and not just this 'oh i hope you feel better soon!', they actually care because they understand it. i feel what you said about the key to making meaningful friendships being 'opening up' - i don't think i've really ever opened up to anyone here in this country. anyway, great video
Give opening up a try to people you feel like could be your future close friends, and see how they hold your vulnerability! If they’re really your people, then you’ll feel supported and understood~
since yesterday i've been watching more "deep" content and this one is my fav so far!!!
(haven’t watched the video yet)
omg this is exactly what I’ve been feeling like lately… I used to be really close with this one friend, but she suddenly started getting closer and closer with another classmate (which is completely normal, our friend circles are bound to change, and that classmate is such an amazing person in every way possible and I love her with my whole heart, because she’s really supportive and nice) and I’ve been feeling like we’re drifting away… I mean it’s not like we even share the same interests, style, future plans, dreams, music taste or if I ever even have wanted to be like her, but I have so many fun memories with her and I don’t want to let go off them… I just don’t want to be alone when it comes to school - when we’re told to get in pairs during PE or when we have to chose someone to do a project with, I’m scared I’ll have no one to be in a pair with in school… But hopefully I’ll stop feeling this way soon… and start being okay with being my own company.
omg you are so sweet you deserve to find someone who really appreciates you because just from this comment i can tell that you spread such a kind and positive energy!!!
But also remember that being alone is completely fine because at the end of the day we are our best companion, and when you aren't looking for something specific everything comes
@@windyafternoonn omg stop, you did not just read all that 🥹 ilysm dear, thank you ☹️♥️
you sound like an amazing soul and so is your friend! I'm sure that if you express how much you value them, that they will really appreciate your candidness. I've been in your shoes throughout my life, and new friends will always come through new environments/experiences as long as you maintain an open heart and mind 💗
Im a 21 year old in new york currently trying to better myself for me and my doggie with seizures. Im fighting my bad thoughts so i can be a good mom for my furbaby
YOU GOT THIS!!!!!! YOU'RE DOING REALLY WELL
Its really important to me to know that other people feel this way too (i mean, it sucks, but at least we feel this way ✨together✨). The only 'best friend' ive ever had was not a best friend at all; she bullied me under the guis of friendship, and ive since struggled immensly with friendship. So thank you
So much.
This video came to me at the right time. I feel like I’m not really close with my friends. I do hope to have a chicken soup friend. I don’t know if it’s just me but I feel awkward around my friends. Sometimes it doesn’t like they’re my friends. I think I needed to see this video because I’ve been distant from everyone.
Don't worry, it's not just you
are you kidding meee??? i absolutely adore the setup, your apartment is so cute!!
Thank you so much!!
I, like many others who commented on this video, don't have a chicken soup friend, but this video has motivated me to start trying to be one for the friends I have. I really stand by the rule of treating others the way you want to be treated, and after reflecting a lot about all the past friendships I've had, I realized I didn't put much effort into communicating or trying to hang out with them outside of school. I was always too nervous to ask and spent my time waiting for someone else to, which of course barely ever happened.
Your words and the atmosphere you create in this video through the setup is so comforting :)
few days ago i turned 27, and for 2 years in a row people that i consider as close friends didn't remember my birthday at all. it makes me wonder if we were actually close, or we finally grew apart.
I've also turned 27 recently and there's been a lot less birthday wishes, belated wishes etc. it really sucks, especially if there are no wishes from the people we considered close 😢
I really connect to the stuff she is saying. When you don't get the emotional support form your blood family the it is just hard to expect that from your chosen family. People really don't make efforts these days. They take friendship as granted. In my case I try to make plans,meet my friends but they just don't make efforts . That's why making close friends with whom you share emotional intimacy is so hard.
I love this video so much, it's honestly so comforting. I rly needed this yap cuz I used to have a friendgroup of 5 best friends of 6 years and we were so close we were basically chicken soup friends and we experienced everything together and were just the closest and I recognize that's so rare now. But it fell apart because of conflicting values, people changing, blah blah. I could talk for hours about how close and special we were to each other like we never had to doubt our closeness, we knew we were some of the most important people in each others' lives (after family). Now I found so many new friends, who I am so so grateful for, but often I feel so sad, empty and lonely because it just doesn't feel the same. We're just not as close. They just don't get me as much as *they* did. But also i need to be grateful and not set unrealistic expectations- we've been friends for only 6 months, while I was friends with my old friends for 6 entire years. I'm so grateful for my new friends anyway. Anyways, this video helped me a lot and thank you so much again. I hope we can all create our chicken soup friends. :)
I really resonated with your thinking. Also chicken soup friend immediately made me think of 心灵鸡汤, which is a way of saying comforting but includes the word chicken soup in it haha. Excited to see more of your content❤
I just wish I could talk to the other girls in my classes without feeling embarrassed or ashamed 😭
You can do it!
I hit 25 a few months back and literally had an entire re-evaluation of my life and friendships. I've outgrown some people recently, others I outgrew years ago. I've hidden who I've been for so long to be nicer, sweeter, more gentle and feminine when I naturally have a toughness to myself. I'm still sweet, and gentle to an extent but I've learned to swap the niceness for kindness and show up as the friend I wish I had growing up and start showing up as someone I'd like for another person to meet and enjoy the company and presence of 😊
Literally going through all these feelings right now! Yes to everythingg
Maybe it’s because I’m neurodivergent but I also feel like as a friend sometimes I need my friends to let me know what kind of support they need & also I try to express where my energy level & capabilities are when things happen - because sometimes there is no energy there either & we’re both going through it and can commiserate. But I do think expecting someone to know what you want from them for support without expressing it is unfair. Hopefully this came off the way I meant it to 😆
Okay so I wrote that before the video was over but you do stress communication. It really is paramount to having a friendship like that
I'm 100% with you on that!!
What you said really makes sense to me.
If you don’t mind me asking, how did you know you were neurodivergent? I think I might be neurodivergent but I am not sure because I don’t have any official diagnosis. Also if you are not comfortable you don’t have to answer the question
That's so cool, because I don't communicate about such things with my friend, but I'm low-key afraid of talking things that trigger me. I also have a thought like not everyone is ready for such deep discussions, about feelings, triggers, problems.. So I decided to leave the situation and the person cuz it was so weird that there were no complaints towards me but I have opposite feelings towards this person so complicated 😹😹
I'm about to enter college and I've been thinking a lot about the type of friends I wanna make and... I feel like you defined it perfectly ~
I can't wait to find my chicken soup friends ☺
Yes! Making friends intentionally and knowing what you want is going to be so helpful 💓 best of luck!
love all this advice. i feel like i want to be a friend like this to someone. i've always kept people at a distance subconsciously because all my best friends have always left me when i was younger but now i think its time to change.
I feel seen. The moment you said Chicken Soup friend, I was like yup, lets read, cuddle, and eat soup in silence together. Friends to me are the people that fill in my cozy spaces of home, space, and time.
Who knew there was Soo much depth in a friendship ✨
love the aesthetic, vibe, message, and dog
Wow I can related to almost everything you said. Love the concept of chicken soup friends. So sweet of your friends to come by! Hoping to more friends like that where I’m at in California ❤ Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences.
This video just put all the feelings I’ve been having lately into perfect words and I also love the chicken soup analogy :D
One of the things that I struggle with tho is I do put in the effort I do put in the energy but I never receive the same level back so it makes me question sometimes wether friendships are worth it at all but I really really have hope and want to find a chicken soup friend I hope we can all experience that at least once in our lives
I am 24 y.o too, and I relate to you so much. I have two really good friends but its long distance.. its so hard and I feel lonely sometimes. You are so brave for sharing that on RUclips. so Be proud 🎉❤
This made me realize, that I don’t have that “chicken soup friend”. I was always that friends, but nobody ever been for me.
Subbed, this is something I've been thinking about recently and you articulated it so clearly
aw i loved this video!! friendships are so important 💕
Ahh thank you Mina!
i had been in a friendship era. they were literally nice to one another but there was a situation which made us be separate. im extremely missing my girlsss❤️🩹
it happens sometimes, and there's always room for reuniting in the future if that's something y'all want 💗
I feel the same!
yes. now i will watch the video
post-video edit: good video. i've just started college so i have a huge increase in opportunity to meet and get to know people which is something i've been hoping for for a long time. the emphasis on healthy and communicative friendships is good (i really need that drilled into my head). also, this is a good overlap with the topic i've been exploring which is having girl friends as a trans girl. it's something i'm very not used to, but really need. i can see it coming soon and i'll be doing my best to have it work out.
This was such a lovely video 😭 thank you for making it, I felt like I needed it. And I absolutely love the phrase "chicken soup friends" ❤ it depicts the idea so well. Like you spoke and explained it so well, put my feelings and thoughts into words! Thank you 🌷
thank you for watching and connecting with my thoughts 💗
I'm so grateful this video came to me. I really needed it ❤ thank u for sharing it and making me realise that I'm not alone
I have been feeling really lonely for a really long time, so this video really talked to me. I have a few friends, none I would consider a chicken soup friend, because as much as I am that type of friend to them, they're not to me. I used to be really sad about it but now, I try to do things on my own if no one is here to do it with me. I'm proud of myself for doing things, even if I'm alone, but I really wish I could find some people who would enjoy to do things with me, and who would bring me some chocolate muffins when I'm feeling bad or I'm sick.
unfortunately my close friends aren't always with me now. Making new friends at school is so hard!
i totally understand that! I hope that you can find wonderful new friends soon
fr…it’s so awkward to try fitting yourself into already established friend groups 😢
your westie is so so so cute
listened to this while i journal and i looked up for a sec ur dog is so freaking cute 12:09 T__T
Hahahaah thank you!! He just has to be in every video
I can relate to this. I have some friendships, but I’m not willing to reach out to develop closer friendships. Thanks for this video!
I wanna say something is sometimes the mistake is not in the people u meet the mistake is in u look at people and also watch yourself with them if we all see other people r toxic so will never be anyone look at how u behave cuz sometimes u r the toxic friend
Love the aesthetic in your video!
A warm video 💕
just subscribed! excited to see more
this is the first video I watched from you and I loved it!! I'm going to subscribe
Aw thank you for watching and staying 🫶
u should rlly start a podcast!! ur voice is super calming omg
I used to have a close friend. She always listened my problems. We laughed and chatted almost every day and when during lockdown we stopped but when I met her at school after lockdown it didn't feel like we didn't talk much for months. We had a great bond. But just a few months ago another girl came in between and we've grown distant. The other girl is a total b. We don't talk like before but when we do it doesn't feels right. It feels like I'm talking to a whole new person a stranger.
Maybe I'm really not fun at all.
Especially sucks when you’ve felt this way for years and then someone becomes your best friend but you can never tell them that they are. You know if you do they’ll tell you they don’t have a best friend…they have multiple close friends. I don’t relate to this at all……
your voice is so comforting
I recently found your channel and love your content. Just subscribed!
Ah thank you sm! ✨
I no longer have any want or desire for a friend that understands me at a deeper level. I have had one in my entire life, I knew him for 10 years and was literally the best man at his wedding, and he so easily wrung me out and tossed me aside. I'm not saying he forgot about me, but he betrayed my trust so thoroughly that I literally needed to cut him out of my life. I am a very deeply introverted individual and have much difficulty even getting so close and opening up to people, but the feeling of having someone "get" me is slowly fading over time. I'm not that close with my family and while I do have friends I feel like I am just entertaining to be around. But I'm too old to start over. My life is too busy now and I enjoy and am thankful for the company I do have.
Can u make more videos to sharing about how to keep closer any relationship in daily life? Thats not a bad idea? Your video touch my feeling, hopefully u can upload more videos 🎉🎉🎉
Hey, I saw this video pretty late but this really speaks to me! I feel like, another thing is that COVID happened. Changing how everyone feels about each other, but I'll keep pushing to be the chicken noodle friend, because I love people!!! I hope everyone can find their chicken noodle friend, but I'll always be lurking on social media for a new friend. :D
ur bestfriend is next to you!
NEEEEED THIS ON SPOTIFY PLS🙇♀️🙇♀️
I’ve never related to something so much. I’ve never have chicken soup friends and I want them so much. Recently I got sick and told my friends that I’m not doing well and all they responded with was “that’s great” (sarcasm) or “that’s not good”. Kind of sucks, especially when I get pretty much the same treatment from my family. It feels like the only way to get any kind of attention at all is to scream out and get angry but that’s what I’m desperately trying not to do. Usually this also results in a bad reception anyway. Hoping one day I can find at least one friend who actually makes an effort or sympathises with me. For now I guess I have to be my own friend and make myself happy how I can :)
Sending happiness to everyone
I have felt like this and my only close friend was my girlfriend. We did everything together, but a few weeks ago she broke up with me. I’ve never felt so alone.
yes
Literally how i feel 😢❤ described it perfectly, love from germany ❤
I wish I could meet more people like you! I relate so much to you and also want a chicken soup friend💖🥺
i love this video! let’s yap some more because i’m subscribed now
Your dog is so cute ❤
I just found your channel and I loooove your content
New subscriber btw!! 🫶
Thank you!!!
🌻
Oh, I love this video so deeply. I crave a chicken soup friendship.
I've had good friends before, and my only friend right now I consider my best friend. But even then, because of the distance (he lives in the US, I live in Asia), I still feel lonely. On top of that, the way we became friends is complicated. He used to bully me when we were children, but apologized sincerely when he moved to the US and learned from his mistakes. We've bonded, and it feels like we're equals, but I can't shake the thought that I want a friendship that started with mutual respect. It's difficult, I want to be surrounded by people who love me, but I just can't seem to find any.
I relate to this very much. But I think I need to be more of the chicken soup friend because I had a friend who was that for me back in the day and we are no longer friends. I’m part to me but also it was not healthiest friendship as well. I hope she’s doing well and hey we still follow eachother at least😅
Can you make more videos like this? I love your vibe(,:
I was actually looking for a comment like this
My chicken soup friend changed and it started to feel one sided, but I've moved on now
But now I want a close friend
My former chicken soup friends found other ppl and now I’m a little lost
There are so many people who would relate to your experiences and would then be willing to create even more meaningful friendships ✨
In my experience I don’t want to judge those friends who only send messages because I left my hometown and being in long distance friendships has its negatives and people can’t send you a chicken soup online so maybe if I was near them and asked them for support i’m sure they would definitely help me.
How do you go about telling people what you’re looking for? Is it when u start getting close?
omg this qn has been on mind for awhile ,, this video that reached my explore page at this moment is #fate
I was think that it's only me
I just moved with my bf, while I love hanging out with with him I know I also need friends in a new city, I just don’t know how to put myself out there. Starting with no one is just so intimidating
This may sound silly but one of the reasons i feel like i lack a chicken soup friend is that people arent allowed round my house! I would love to invite people round all the time if i could (cause i would never invite myself round to someone elses house) but instead if i ask someone to hang it always feels like there has to be a purpose to that hangout as if chilling and chatting isnt enough 😅I have some great friends in my life that Im always happy to be there for but it never feels like anyones there for me. Maybe when i go to uni things will be different.
You are good person, beautiful and mindful. I am sure you can come accross to good friends... thanks for your great video dear. Wish you all the best...
what a beautiful way to put it, chicken soup friends 🥹
it's so important to cultivate this type of relationship in our lives- working on becoming this type of friend to the lovely friends i have!
thanks for this lil yap sesh ♡
OH MY GOD EVEYONE HERE GETS ME
🥰
I'm the popular girl who gets on well with everyone. Almost everyone loves me but I'm never part of their friend group I'm alone in a crowd and feel lonely idk what to do to have close friends
i asked 13 people if they wanted to hangout yesterday, every single person said no
hey! how do you edit the coloring on your video? it would mean a lot if you would answer ❤
your dog looks like snowy from tintin
Totally!! Haha he gets that all the time
All my life my mom and my sister are my only best friends for me