Thank you all for the warm comments... so glad to see that this topic is resonating with you guys.. Hope we all remember to be kind to ourselves, don't stress out.. and understand that it's absolutely okay to take some time...
I came across this amazing video through RUclips recommendations, and both the filming techniques and content are outstanding! But what shocked me even more was the photo at the end of the video, which made me realize that we were once at the same church in Taiwan. I could hardly believe it was true!
The older I get, the more I learn that "love" in relationships is really about letting out the love within us and sharing that energy. It's not about getting something out of someone else. True love is just self-love that you let out of your cage.
I'm a hesitator for sure. It was subconsciously ingrained in me when I hit puberty. You can't date, you need to finish your education, have a stable job, be more responsible, be more put together, be mature...And bcos I haven't felt I've accomplished all of this, I never felt I'm ready to be in a relationship
Both of you are w0rthl3$$. And thankfully, life, nature and Blokes will not forgive you for believing in the nonsense and wrong ways that you did. It's payback time.
This video brought tears to my eyes. I’m turning 31 in a few days. Never been in a relationship because I don’t feel good enough. “Maybe when I lose weight” “maybe when I have a better job” “maybe when I have a better personality” and constantly making excuses “I’m too busy”
When You have a relationship with yourself, then you will stop feeling not good enough, when you relate to yourself you will love your body enough not to over feed it, and give it healthy exercise to keep it fit, when you truly love yourself you will start living the vocation you truly aspire to, and when you undo the fate of the personality that was created for you by your family and culture in childhood, you will begin to create a mature adult taking full responsibility for your own destiny creating the life you want to live, every morning when you wake up you have 2 choices, make excuses or take actions to implement your highest potential and then loving yourself that much will attract another compliment who also loves themselves and open to sharing that love. You have another 5 years before you peak, best not waste another day. Good luck.
I’ve been obsessed with this idea ever since I started reading 'The Seduction Alchemy' by Sophie Carter. Why don’t we talk about this stuff more? GIRLS, you need to check that out!
As an artist, I find that seeking love is like painting a perfect masterpiece-all the colors need to harmonize, but they don’t always blend as I envisioned. No matter how much I pour my heart into things and people, this canvas of true love often ends up in incomplete tones. It’s often how people navigate their feelings, that constant fear of taking risks and opening up. Yet, deep down, I hope to discover which colors will finally fit into this picture. And just as Bob Ross reminds us, 'We don’t make mistakes, just happy little accidents.' Maybe these unexpected turns in my journey are simply part of the process, leading me to a love that is richer and more vibrant than I ever imagined.
As a 50 y.o. man, I'm astounded at the depth that some of the content creator have while being so young. I'm proud of the next generation of our beautiful world with all the good & the bad.
The reality is, love has nothing to do with relationships, the best description of love is selfless giving without any expectation of reciprocity. Relationships are mostly about what value both parties provide each other. Love is something that can’t be exchanged as value, it’s given at the pleasure of the giver
This comment is great!! Love is giving without you needing anything in return! Love is when you are complete within yourself … you are love, you need nothing but only want to give love to the other, this is the most beautiful feeling ever! The moment you “want” something for yourself from the other … love disappears in an instance.
Great advice and I can attest to it. When I was in my twenties and thirties, I was chasing perfection. I dated, went around and around emotionally from one woman to the next. Thought I had found THE ONE twice only to have things fall apart. Was lonely and hopeless at 39. Then in my forties, I tossed away the list I had in my head. I tried to live in the moment. When I met my wife, I knew very quickly she was someone I could make a life with. We have been together for twenty-one years now. I can say hands down that my fifties were the most enjoyable decade of my life. So, bottom line, is it is never too late. Life is full of twists and turns. You just need to be self-aware enough to see love (whatever that means) when it is staring you in the face. That comes by first loving yourself.
@@xpiredskillz5326 Communication. It sounds so cliche, but it's true. Take the time to talk each day, even if it is only for a few minutes. "How was your gorgeous day" is a daily question we ask each other. Then we either laugh and complain how lousy it was or regale each other with something good that happened. My wife is a natural comic. She can mimic anyone and tells great stories. I guess it was something she learned when she was a school teacher in Japan. I bring a more analytical approach to dealing with whatever problem she might be dealing with, which she appreciates. "I have a question, Mr. Analyst," is the question that often leads to an hours-long discussion that can range from international affairs to the cost of living to quantum mechanics. We listen to each other. We fill in each other's gaps. We complement each other. And, most importantly, we give each other step massages when the other is down and needs to feel good.
@@sandbagger1912 That sounds so sweet! It warms my heart that you and your wife have such a great bond and compliment each other very well. A little happiness added to my day.
Every relationship experiences challenges, but there is always a way to progress. My marriage was tested by significant problems, but with appropriate help, my wife and I worked through them and strengthened our bond. Solutions are available if you’re ready to put in the effort and work together. Stay hopeful-there’s always a way.
I’m dealing with major issues in my relationship and can't imagine losing her. I love and miss her dearly and am prepared to do whatever is needed to have her back in my life. Any advice or direction you can offer would mean a lot to me.
Saying farewell to someone you love dearly is never easy, but in my case, I had the assistance of a spiritual counselor who saved my marriage from falling apart. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
I appreciate your direction. I'll swiftly look her up online. Thanks. I'm hopeful that following this course of action will bring about positive changes for me too; her absence is deeply felt.
True love is having a best friend through thick and thin. You make compromises for each other and love one another even when you’re upset with one another. It’s having the patience to learn and grow together.
@@Jadenyoung1this is just a negative mindset. finding true love is the point of dating. it’s a process, and it takes time. no one meets the love of their life immediately, unless they do get really lucky lol. keep meeting people, keep loving. you’ll find that person in time
I would say that I'm also a Maximizer. A quote that has helped me overcome this and to re-align my mindset is "Grass is not greener on the side. Grass is greener where you water it". Don't get pressured by social media. Fall in love when you are ready, and when you know someone is there to catch you.
Ooooh I like that quote much better. Tis true. Finding green in others outside of you can never be found because perfection does not exist. Gotta create that green within us, then everything else around us can seem more solid.
Hesitator here. I always knew about me hesitating in relationships because I'm extremely introverted. To be weary of those blindspots is something that will hopefully help me in the future.
There is someone and that someone is you. The Universe can see you through your eyes. Be appreciative of yourself because regardless of someone else being there (They will come one day), you got you until the end of the line. Wishing you the Love you deserve. 💙💙
@@Patapoon Exactly this! I’ve struggled with believing that I need someone else to appreciate my beauty, but I recently started learning to do so with myself 🩷
I feel it too. I guess you're a woman, I am and this is something deep, perhaps we're taught to feel* worthy only when others look at us. The revolution is to understand that ourselves are the primary givers and receivers of that beauty. Be kind to yourself ❤
This is quite reasonable yk. For example in my case after a breakup I was really overthinking a LOT about how I'm probably not good enough for anyone or something like that. I noticed how bad I was feeling and kind of locked myself out of the dating scene for quite some time and tried to sort things out with my mind, put a goal to love myself more and accepted that if I won't find anyone then that's ok as long as I feel good in my own company and if something WILL happen one day then I'll be happy with someone and share the love I have with that person. And there, by accident, I've met someone I feel safe and peaceful with and things seem pretty effortless with them. We can literally sit in silence and still have an amazing time together (I've known them for some time but couldn't see my true feelings before my journey)🩵 Of course you have to put your energy into every relationship, just don't make yourself feel exhausted from every interaction you have, that's really unhealthy. So my conclusion is: You can't truly love if you don't love yourself first! So go into the world when you're ready for it ⭐💖 lots of love and good luck out there P.S. That "marry your best friend" statement is true, I really recommend building deeper romantic relationships on friendship and getting to REALLY know each other instead of jumping into something that could lead you to a bad heartbreak later (speaking from experience) :')
It's common for relationships to encounter obstacles, but there is always a solution. My own marriage faced considerable issues, but with appropriate guidance, my husband and I worked through them and deepened our connection. Solutions are achievable if you're ready to work together. Stay hopeful-there's always a way forward.
I'm facing significant relationship problems and can't stand the idea of losing him. My love and longing for my partner are profound, and I'm ready to do anything to restore our connection. I would greatly appreciate any advice or help you could give.
Parting with someone you love is always a challenging process, but in my experience, I had the guidance of a spiritual guide who prevented my marriage from collapsing. His name is Father Akunna.
I just searched for Father Akunna online indeed he is a very generous man and the most powerful spell caster that I have ever seen he brought my husband back to me with so much love ❤
After experiencing the end of a nearly 5 year relationship at 39 years old, I think my approach is going to be to do the things that bring me joy, with other people when possible, and do my best to be someone who others would like to be around. Eventually something will turn out. Making perfect the enemy of good is a great way to ruin nearly anything.
8:00 I am absolutely a hesitator because I 100% set unrealistic expectations for myself, sometimes even if nobody else has them of me. I'm always telling myself I'm not ready I need to do this, I need to do that instead of just jumping straight into it head first. So I did, I jumped right in. I am now here, wishing I did it sooner, but I am glad I am doing it now. We will see if it ends up fruitful, because even if it doesn't, I think I'm, just gonna do it again and push my comfort zone further and further until I grow!
I am a hopeless romantic. When things are going great, everything is perfect and I feel like the universe has blessed me. Then things go wrong, it's the other person not seeing how sensible my ways are... The problem is them and not me. So I go out and continue to believe the next one will be the *right* fit for me. Thank you for pointing out that I should appreciate the love that is shown and that is right in front of my eyes. Easy to overlook this until it is gone for good. Then regret sets in. Also, learn to love yourself. And never stop learning. 🎉❤
You literally have the mindset my ex has lol he got rid of me for someone new in the last months of our relationship. Cheated on me, yes. With the girl he told me I shouldn't worry about, only, now I know I wasn't crazy for assuming she was more. He thinks he's found the better fit in her. Yet he thinks the Universe has abandoned him if every single aspect of his life isn't going right. Mfker, please. Good riddance 😂
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
I am a hesitator, since dating is never a thing for me in my whole 24 years lol. Sometimes I kinda regretted not to try dating when I'm in college, because as I got older, I find it way too hard to meet someone. Hope sooner or later, I will meet someone who loves me for who I am, though :)
Omg i feel the same way. I never tried in college because i was focused on my studies etc but now im working, ive hit 26 and am still alone. Its sooooo hard to date so im really worried. But i wish you the best of luck as well
@@hpfusion8842I personally think it's better to regret not having dated anyone yet than to regret miserably failed relationships. You are the lucky one in my eyes 😊
same, I’ve seen few good looking guys but not same course as me, i just shrugged it since I focused more on my goal to graduate, study well to be responsible and mature, and friends. sometimes I feel so ordinary and boring compared to others because I don’t like to experience pain.
Thank you so much for this, This made me realize that there is nothing wrong with me but there is wrong how I see things are. My past relationships always make me feel like I’m crazy for wanting genuine not perfect relationships because all they do is lie/cheat. This literally saved my mind & heart today.
I think there's been a huge shift between releasing our masculine and feminine energy, which is also the energy of love. I got myself an ebook that explains how to unleash feminine aura, the ebook is from synfla, and Chloe, thank you for this amazing video.
I got goosebumps seeing this ,she explained it perfectly, I feel like love cant be truly defined, everyone has their own definition of love ,falling in love is this weird feeling but u like it ,it's like this person is ur home ,it's beautiful and risky
This video really opened my eyes about a few things i’ve been doing wrong. I also started reading the book Celestial Soulmate by Lentlish, and it’s full of great advice on mindset, cold approaches, and building confidence. With the stuff i’ve learned from you and the book, i’m finally ready to take action and meet new people.
When you talk about finding the perfect partner - the person who is perfect for you - I think it's valuable to consider that nobody starts off perfect at anything. People are complicated creatures, and, like with anything complicated, it takes practice to become great at learning how to be a good partner (in general and for your significant other specifically). There is no perfect person - yet - because we are all something that takes practice.
Love is being kind to each other, caring and cherishing, working together to find a solution and building happiness and making life and the world around us more precious for each other. Every women that I’ve been with refused to accept this, and always, always strive for more, and more. And the one who remained is defeated into submitting to kindness, cherishing and growing together, like a beautiful flower reaching out to the sun, but can never touch it.
One of my favorite love songs is Compartir by Carla Morrison and my favorite line goes like "Quiero aprender a entender al mundo contigo" which translates to "I want to learn to understand the world with you." The first time I heard it just struck me as such a beautiful sentiment.
@@govindsharma8698 firstly they are likely a man as not everyone with a female profile pic is a women, secondly im sure they love very far away and in a different country. I aint got time for long distance relationships
I'm the hesitator. I really thought I wouldn't be included in the archetypes when you first mentioned them, none really stood out to me just by their names. Then you explained each one of them and it made perfect sense.
Honestly, I enjoyed this video with soft and warm expressions, slowing down that makes the purpose of love so touching. Love is accepting someone as they are and trusting each other even if the future is unsettling. Even with the up and down being committed to each other is what sparks quality in that person.
Not going to lie, a maximizer type of partner sounds like an absolute nightmare to me. I'd be crushed if I found out the person I loved secretly wished I was "5% hotter" or compared me to someone they deemed more attractive or "better" than me.
Yeah and one of the conclusions of the video is to settle. And I’m not sure if it would be that comforting to the partner that they are secretly being settled for
"maximiser" is just a term for people who always keep their options open. they always want the better looking, more successful more this and that etc. the grass is greener on the other side type.
But that's the beauty of it though, there probably is someone 5% hotter somewhere out there but like Chloe said it's that constant commitment everyday to give everything you have to this person despite all these idealistic thoughts and noise, to cultivate something much deeper is what I assume love is
Nobody is in one single category, everyone has more or less measures of each. People need to stop putting tags and systemitizing things, people used to take things simple back then, no systems just go out and live life.
I never imagined that I could find something so relatable in a random RUclips video. I hadn't heard of the term before, but now I know I'm definitely a hesitator, not only in romantic matters but also in every other aspect of life. I'm always hesitant to do things because I suppose I'm not good enough. I need to prepare a lot of things in advance, try to be the perfect version of myself before attempting to do anything, otherwise, I would fail or couldn't enjoy the result as much as I expected. I've missed a lot because of that, and when I realized, I was also aware of the fact that time was not waiting for me, I'm not young anymore. But it's never too late. I'm starting to change my messed-up life, giving up on playing games all day, learning new things for a new career journey, trying to use dating apps again, going out more often, interacting with more people... then hopefully I can find someone out there to experience something people call love.
Stumbled upon this in my front page and glad I clicked. I have realized alot of what is mentioned myself already over the endless nights of reflecting, but it's always great to see it put into words/video and pick up a few other tidbits. I identify most with the hesitator, but I am learning to let go of it (partly) and just let myself go along with what comes.
Thank you very much for making this video. Something I wanted to add; although it's not the best decision to come up with a meters-long scroll of wishes and needs and whatnot you hope to find in a partner, it's still good to make this clear to yourself; what are you looking for? What is important to you? That not everything is perfect, doesn't mean you should settle for something that's simply not doing you good. I also believe it is impossible to find someone for you, let alone hold a relationship, if you don't love yourself first.
Hey Chloe! Very well put together video - great structure, clear message and a pleasant voice. Kept me hooked all the way through. I think people often confuse love with lust. Your ending words sum it up perfectly: love is choosing a person again and again even if someone better comes along.
Thank you YT for recommending me this video. Through out my life I been asking the same question “what is love?” I have come up with many many different definition and meanings of ‘love’ and it really gets complicated when I starts overthinking about it. For a while I have given up on loving myself and people around me. But now the definition of love I have “ love yourself unconditionally first before loving someone else” Often when we want love, we want someone else to love us and forget about taking care of ourselves and forget this simple act of self care.
Love means putting the other ahead of yourself, very hard work long term, but when each does this for the other, long term love happens. It's not luck, it's work, feelings grow stronger with mutual self sacrifice. Good luck.
Thank you for this comment. I always think about love as a moment with a very beautiful woman, but maybe that's not the best strategy. While it is difficult to search for long-term serenity qualities in ourselves and others, still I find it difficult to focus on those qualities when I am thinking about someone. They don't seem to be there. And I have another issue which is that I can be clear in my intentions not only within myself but also expressing them to the other person. But usually it seems that when we express an appreciation people usually run away from us. If I tell a woman I've met for the first time that I really liked her appearance and I would want to know her better maybe she will tell me that A she's already engaged or B she won't answer. Maybe I should try, but still difficulty arises easily in this situations.
I disagree, love means loving tourself first, putting that boundary and then comes the harmony between two people. Without self love there can never be mutual love
Excellent. I met a couple who stayed many years together and I asked them their secret. She told me something I didn't expect and something I will always remember. She said the key is commitment. Love can get you there. Commitment keeps you there. And that is all part of love.
im def a hesitator, after my last relationship i constantly felt like i wasn’t enough for them or for the next person. which is totally not true. i think for you, being a maximalist isn’t a bad thing. i think it’s great to have high standards, as long as you are willing to connect with someone. if your standards are getting in the way of you getting to know if someone is right for you then maybe it’s a sign to lean into that fear and just try. thank you for this video, you seem very sweet and it’s really admirable how much thought you’ve put into thinking about love. unfortunately it’s so rare to find that these days.
pausing at 8 minutes to say that I'm the "hestator" some many times where I've crossed these landmarks in my life where I told myself I'd be ready to date. as I'm getting older, I've been facing myself way more and seeing this pattern of always trying to chase a goal to feel worthy of something/someone will be listening to the rest of this video to hear it all out 😌
I love how you post about stuff very relatable to women in their early to mid 20s I love your editing, videography, your voice, and the message of the video! I hope that you can continue to enjoy posting videos without being fixated on the number of views or likes as your channel grows bigger! Your channel is such a gem!
this video explains it so beautiful! as o grew up with my partner I felt that love is the feeling that makes you stay, forgive, and move on after some "mistakes" being made. every day I loved him more and more, and got more and more patient.its a very beautiful feeling
I'm a hesitator type mixed with the romantic type. Beautiful video! I hope you and all the people in the comments find a lovely relationship and their missing partner. I really get that "want to connect emotionally, intelectually and spiritually". I have drift away even from friends because of wanting this connection with people... It's hard, it's lonely but we'll get there. Good things take time.
A lot of this is true. I used to really care about how I look. Now I’ve come to realize that pretty good looking. Lots of self love and self focus fixed a lot of my insecurities. I believe I’m getting closer to finding my someone. You seem like a chill person. Very pretty also. I think you’ll find someone to connect with! :)
I just want to comment on the cinematography - it’s beautiful and reminded me of the feelings I’ve felt when I watched early Wong Fu Productions videos. Please continue creating!
This video came up on my feed at the right time, thank you! It gave me some things to think about. I used to be a really big romanticizer and during my first relationship I came to realize that I loved the idea of love so much as well as the idea of soulmates and because of it poured all my heart into the relationship, tried to do all i can to be the best partner for the person i saw as my soulmate. After 4 years the relationship ended leaving me drained, lost and a hesitator.
First and foremost, this video was beautiful. I think I am a hesitator. I have been always putting dating off because of me not being ready enough. I think that if a person is willing to be with me, share their life with me and handle my weird ass, the least I can give them in return is the world. So here I am trying to work harder and harder. As time passed, I realized that I building this unnatural and fantasy like expectations for myself, I have blocked everything else that is important in life. You go around and look at people, watch couples, people younger than me, being more happy and content than me and its like, what am I even doing? trying to be something impossible, I have missed what is front of me. I have had chances to talk with people, maybe I could have been in a relationship ages ago and also had been more closer to that perfect image of myself than I am now. Someone 5 years younger than me told me something a few days ago. He said, "I think I have found someone. I don't know if she is the perfect one...but, she is the one. I want to get better for her, for us. I want to be healthier, I want to be more active. She is here with me at the moment and that's all that matters to me. I am 100% sure that we together will be able to get somewhere further than what I alone could have ever gotten alone and with that stoic mindset. I have been too fixated on being perfect, thinking way too hard about the future without even knowing whats right in front of me. English is not my first language so sorry for the grammar. All I want to say to the people reading this and trying to get into a relationship or looking for someone. Just let things be, don't think too much. Even when you are out meeting someone, try to enjoy the moment. live 100% in the present and I assure you, your future will be 100% better. Love for me isn't all that complicated. Its a feeling that makes me at ease. Something I can return to no matter what. It is something I am 100% confident in. Its right now and italso is in the future. . Thankyou Chloe for this amazing video, keep on growing and shining.
I'm the type of person who wants to be able to take care of the people he loves without being taken advantage of. I want to find someone who I believe has good qualities, and I have, but they don't always reciprocate-and that's okay. Truthfully, honesty to me is so important. I've always wondered how others viewed love. I don't have a type, per say, but more of hopes for meeting a decently good person that I connect with.
My perspective of love is from someone who’s completely in love and each day even harder, there was no checklist, just someone I met whom after that I missed without reason.I didn’t met him with the context of dating, in fact not even in the context of meeting each other, we just met and eventually found excuses to meet each other, other times we met by accident… we just kept seeing each other, out of wanting to be with each other, out of wanting to be ourselves with someone else. We tend to not be ourselves with others, well that’s one of the reasons I decided, I don’t care how he views me, even if we don’t get to be a couple but I gotta see him constantly, I cannot let this synergy end here or be forgotten. Eventually we got a little tipsy and kissed each other. For me love, romantic love, is something that could grow beautifully with anyone if both put the effort, but there are sometimes when is something more than beautiful by it’s nature, the only effort you put is searching time to be there, time to be with that person whom if you’re with you feel yourself, you feel free, someone who if you’re with you feel like your own person grows, your spirituality grows. Love has endless beautiful surprises, hope y’all get to experience it
Love ❤️ is Who you Are as Eternal Consciousness having a temporary journey in the space suit of the body until discarded at death, to die to each moment is to Live the Love that you already are always have been always will be, and when one stops pretending to be otherwise by clinging to the temporary for security when there is none, the bubble of delusion bursts and you wake to the reality of the Love that you are, and then you will naturally attract a compliment, birds of a feather stick together, be the one you seek, find the lover that you are. Be Love Beloved One! ❤
one advice. nobody likes when their own beauty is based on someone else. just say she's beautiful. thats enough. comparing or making ocmment like what u did does not make the reciever happy about it. example. Omg u look a lot like fiona from shrek. not really a good compliment eventhough I have good intention
13:46 im still figuring this out but i think love is when someone can see you at your worse and still be with you, it's not about being with someone only at their best but to also see them fall and rise again, there's a saying that 'If you can watch me fail over again, and still be with me, then I want you in my success' like there's often times people leave when things get hard, but it's those people who stay behind to support you that really matter, and love is unconditional.
She finally made it to the place where we both belong. I thought i was the only one who knew where it was. Even if she just visits from time to time. I am not alone.
Dear i can't believe that you are only 31... I'm just over 50 and been through a divorce and many relationships and have never been able to get out of this list place over been. This video has opened my eyes and made me think twice about what I've been looking for all my life. I thank you so much for what you have given me. You will find someone i am sure🙏🙏
I used to be a romanticizer for sure. I still love love. I met someone this year who was beautiful inside and out, but she was all three, a romanticizer, a maximizer, and a hesitater. I was willing to commit, but she wasn’t. I was willing to let her grow with me, but I realized I had to let her grow on her own. It really sucked breaking up with her because I finally felt like I had a real best friend and life partner. We went on so many adventures and had perfect chemistry. But she wasn’t ready. She didn’t want to commit. And as perfect as we were together, she wasn’t strong enough to hold on to one person right now. She wasn’t ready. Timing is just as important as chemistry, unfortunately. Sometimes there’s nothing else we can do. Sometimes things don’t work when you do absolutely everything right. And that’s sucks. To me, love is the meaning of life. It’s commitment, I agree. I think it’s sacrifice. I think when you like someone, that has to do with attraction. But love is when you know there are things you don’t like, things that will be hard. But you stay together anyway. At its worst? Love is one-sided. But at its best, love is reciprocated.
I think I'm a hesitator. It is not because I'm trying to grow out of a certain phase of life, it's because I've never been in a relationship before (I am 21) and I'm too scared of making mistakes that will lead my very first relationship to an end. I guess it's my fear of failure kicking in here, plus I irrationally want a romantic relationship to be my first and the last one. So whenever I feel an ounce of negativity, I find myself backing away from a potential relationship. Because I don't want to get myself into something that I don't strongly believe that will work out. It's toxic, I know, no wonder why I'm still single :')
I completely agree with your definition of “Love”.. To me, “Love” is… elusive.. Life throwing a lot at me right now more than ever before and I can’t even begin to try to look.. for love. There are of course different levels of love. There is the primal attraction and physical attributes. Then there are the qualities in one’s personality that you only get to know over time. Then there are fundamentals themselves needed to make any relationship work: open honest communication to build trust, emotional intelligence, kindness, willingness to forgive, ability to compromise, empathy.. and the list goes on.. It’s difficult, time consuming, expensive, and you need attention to detail.. to say the least.. Maybe.. one day..
Tip 2 : Drop the checklist. (instantly make a new checklist ^^) And yes, I sadly relate to the 12 years apart parents who are constantly bickering, giving us their children a really not healthy model to shape our conception of love and couple. I've also struggled a lot to value love over other things like my passion and career (animation, and later on, photography), or friends, as my views on couple dynamics was always heavily polluted by my parents constant fights since I was a kid. So in a sense, pretty early on, I linked my celibacy as independence and freedom (I could travel wherever I wanted whenever I wanted at the pace I wanted, could go watch whatever movie or eat whatever food without having to wait or agree ith someone else, could go out and back to sleep at the hour I wanted without anyone nagging me...), and most importantly, peace, which were far more valuable to me. Only problem is : I got a bit too comfortable in my singleness. While I certainly enjoyed it in my 30ies, now in the middle of my 40ies (and no job prospect, since AI has destroyed my entire industry), I'm stuck living with my mother at 40+ yo, with a misery salary from some side gigs, and no financial independence to be even able to date. But well, I guess since I'm single and without a family to take care of, I can still somehow survive the blow. It would have been that much more painful if I had to raise a family. So yeah, while singleness is great, don't get too comfortable in it in the long run... As for all your tips, all those are great tips. I would add a few things about why it's so hard to find love nowadays : Your generation (gen Z, born post 2000's) have grown up in the era of Internet, that was compounded by the creation of smartphones, which have been ubiquitous since the early 2010's. That, coupled with the fact that social medias (regardless of if it's IG, FB, Twitter, Tinder, RUclips, Snap, Tik Tok, etc) are inescapable, since everyone has direct access to them at the tip of a finger, is a direct obstacle to patience and commitment. After all, "Since the whole world is accessible at my fingertips, why should I settle for the less perfect version of the man I can find /deserve ?". It's very much the maximizer mentality you mentioned, which hits pretty much 80+% of youngsters nowadays. That mentality is what transforms anyone showing up in pictures on your tinder or bumble or whatever as mere pixels in jpegs instead of fully fleshed individuals. It's a miracle if people even bother read the bios, now (happens only if the person is easy on the eyes first). Add on top of that 8 years of post MeToo neo-feminism that pits all women vs all men without exceptions, and while MeToo itself was a long overdue movement that had all the best intentions of the world (justice for the sexually abused women in the world), its aftermaths also managed to do a lot of collateral damage by giving power to a lot of opportunistic women eager to by ruin a lot of innocent men's lives and careers in court by gaslighting any attempt of advance as sexual harrasment or assault. And now, after 8 years in a row of this sh*t, people are wondering why men flirting with girls is a thing of the past ? Add on top of that 2-3 years of social jail due to the pandemics lockdown, where lot of your generation should have been out and partying, mingling, dating, and instead were locked at home doing zoom parties, and are now completely pulling a blank when it comes to act as a human being in front of other people. Dating was already not an easy task back in my days, 20 years ago, but goddamn, at least we were the last generation who did it the old way, face to face, human to human, with actual consequences should we mess up (like a slap in the face), and actual tingles in the spine when we actually ended up together. And that was precious ! Seeing how it has devolved these past 10 years, with nobody meeting face to face at first, swiping left and right like there's no tomorrow, as if it was some sort of twisted online videogame, I can't help but feel for your generation. We didn't have it easy, but it was still much easier than the shitty hand you guys and girls were handed. Good luck to you. You seem to be an actual treasure, both emotionally and intellectually, on top of looking like an fairy of ancient chinese legends, and the man who you will settle with might be an extremely lucky guy (I say might coz of course you might not be perfect, and I'm sure there are a lot of quirks and flaws you carefully leave out of your vlogs, but I mean, who is perfect, nowadays ? ^^). To finish, that was a fantastically narratively built video. I can tell you took a long time to shoot and edit it. For some reason (might be my animation short director bias), I feel like you'd make a fantastic animation film director. You certainly got the eye, the emotion and the pacing for it. Starting with your parents arguing in the distance to loop it back at the very end with the family photo album with them during your childhood is some high level emotional storytelling loop worthy of Pixar (great ref to UP, btw). Take care, I hope you can one day find someone to settle with and be comfortable, and stay safe inside during this horrendous typhoon day (I've heard it's the biggest to hit Taiwan since 1996).
Tip #1: Know Your Blindspot, are you a Romanticizer? Maximizer? Hesitator? Tip #2: Throw Away Your Checklist, instead of surface level qualities, prioritize maturity Tip #3: Don't Fall Into the Interview Trap, be present like with friends, try to have fun Tip #4: Take An Experimental Approach, try new activities to keep things fresh Tip #5: Don't Let Perfect Be the Enemy of Great, constantly wondering what else is out there makes you miss out on what you already have, appreciate the love and support you have I summarized the tips in hopes that it would help cement these ideas into my head. I'm a hesitator, but not anymore, I thought that I didn't have the right to love, because of my current circumstances of being jobless, not having everything figured out, and idea that I should be focusing more on studying how to break into another career field. But now I see that I can still prioritize loving and being loved, it's always been a matter of will, not time or what I should or shouldn't be doing. I'm still figuring out how to meet new people to vibe with though. Maybe I'll update my old dating profile with better pictures. Love, to me, is loyalty, being there when things are bad, and being there when things are good. Never giving up on them. I just have to get better at choosing who to be loyal to, maybe by focusing on a person's long term qualities and maturity. Take care, thanks for sharing, I subscribed
the part of being jobless and not knowing what to do hits home, i feel afraid of properly telling someone how i feel because i don't believe the current me could be liked or loved back but your comment gives me a bit of courage 🫡
This guy gets it. Especially with the perfect, great part. Guys and girls: don't pay attention to social media when it comes to relationships. It will mess up more things than you realise. Itl make you doubt yourself- doubt your partner. Trust me, trust your partner, don't trust social media May you all find love one day
Beautiful notes. I would just say, don't entertain yourself too much with dating apps. I've been there for some time but the harsh truth is that people there think the others are replaceable, your crush might be some swipes away. When you're in person, you bring more effort and presence into the moment and can see a person through their dimensions, Vs in dating apps you only measure by looks or filters!! Go outside, force yourself to meet people in real life, no matter how small the interaction is
wow, I just finished the video and I'm stunned how good it was. I felt so warm and calm listening to you talking, your voice is soothing. It also went really well with the mood you set with the music choices. Regarding the types of daters: I see traits of all of them within me. I love love, but I think I'd be logical enough to not end a relationship when things get hard. I gave up on a few opportunities because I thought it's not good enough, but I think I'm aware I won't end up with a super model who loves videogames. I also gave up on dating temporarily to make myself more attractive by working out and finding a new job, but I wouldn't run away if love finds me during the process. I'm pretty sure my mindset for love has evolved to be quite solid, yet I am still alone at 32. It's tough out there, but I haven't lost hope, yet.
Your outlook on all of this is very similar to my own. It makes me hopeful that there are more people out there like this :] I have yet to meet them in my life, but I wish the best of luck to all of us. Love is a decision.
Wow what a comfortable voice, comfortable background music, sweet script, just the type of video to relax and reflect on the thought that dating doesn't necessarily be have to like they show in TV show or any other fictional things,it is about understanding and always choosing that one person ❤
Thank you for this. I just ended a seven-year relationship and have been going through a lot these past few days. I keep asking myself the same question: "What is love?" Just when I thought people simply move on, always seeking the next best thing, you showed up-and I’m glad you did. You put things into perspective and gave me a little hope.
This is a wonderfully warm and inspiring video. And you, Chloe, seem a gift to us all. Any guy would be truly blessed to grow old with you (and, full disclosure, that’s coming from a guy). Be patient - something tells me that you’ll find the one who recognizes that instinctively and the ‘decision’ to which you allude will come very naturally.
I’m 25, and have been a single guy for almost 5 years now. This video really resonated with me! While the free time of being single has been nice for life productivity, eventually it wares on you. This is especially when like you said, all of your friends are getting married and having kids. It’s been really easy to say “I’m focusing on myself”, so I definitely think I’m the hesitator type lmao. Wishing you the best in the future!
Can totally relate to that struggle. Meeting people was never an issue for me. Finding that connection is. I don’t fall into any of those categories. I recently found out that some people are more rationally attracted to others. It’s that case when you go down your list of specs and fall for the person you admire (理性吸引）. Some people are instinctive （直觉吸引）that’s my case. There’s no reason why instinctive fall for someone, they just do. My piece of advice would be “learn to be happy with yourself and being happy with someone as a bonus. Don’t put your happiness on someone’s else shoulders”. For me love is a lot of things. If I had to put it in one word I would say that love is faith.
I’m a hesitater…I often find myself delaying putting myself out there to get the love I want and deserve. All because of superficial things; my status, my appearance, and overall who I am as a person was what I thought I needed to change to get that love. But you shouldn’t have to change and wait to have a person fall for you. Growing in love matters more than falling in it…go find your person :))
I am very ugly and boring also introvert with a low self esteem and so I grow up to have this belief that people like me are not meant to be loved and live that beautiful experience
coming from one person who struggles with self esteem to another, self-awareness is a good thing to have. Ask yourself this: are you actually "ugly" and "boring", or did other people make you feel this way? Were you born with this "ugliness", or did you reach a point in your life when people started to tear you down with hurtful words? It can be difficult and frustrating to do so, but rejecting other peoples' opinions of you, and instead pointing out features you like about yourself, or are admirable (can be physical, emotional, personality-based traits) will help with self-perception. Building a relationship with yourself by treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and patience will make you feel better about yourself. Basically, putting yourself down only makes you feel worse, so stop. As for introversion, unfortunately you have to force yourself to a certain extent to start conversations with people you're interested in, keep the convo going by any means (as long as you both are comfortable, don't force connections), or be lucky enough that the person you like is an extravert and takes the reigns in talking to you lol. Even if you don't end up in a relationship with someone else, your relationship with yourself will remain.
Idk it's less about being ugly and more are you willing to put in the work to actually find what you want. Dating when you feel this way can be heartbreaking work though, so if you don't want to put in the work it's completely valid
It all comes down to mindset, I don’t believe people are inherently ugly and boring. But if you think you are, you won’t try to learn valuable social skills or learn upkeep your appearance in ways that would suit you and your personality. Enjoy your life, enjoy yourself and love yourself with care. Confidence and genuine self love is a foundational building block for anything in life and in turn you would become more attractive to the eyes of others
I have look for love for a long time. Now I think love is everywhere. There is always someone out there who cares about each one of us. Just spread our love and good energy will surround us forever!
1. no, there will be no perfect guy/girl for you out there. if there are, they're mostly players. 2. you already know this. the older you are, the longer your list will be. 3. I agree with you, in the end it is just commitment. because no matter how much you love him/her now, it will fade away and commitment is the only thing that keep us together. 4. if you do not want to be dissapointed then don't go out in the first place because they will dissapoint you. btw you look like Moon Ga Young.
I relate to this so much… I’m the hesitator. I kept saying once I heal my eczema, once I fix my teeth, once I’m mentally stable and love myself… and then 10 years passed. Now I feel too old, even if I’m told I’m still young.
While this all address the mindset behind dating, it doesn't actually answer how you actually go about finding people to even go out on dates with. Nowadays, everyone is unwilling to even get to know you if you don't already know each other. People have very closed circles and they're very judgy on first appearances. Most people will be ready to dismiss you right away as a non-option. That is the most challeging part in my experience.
I usually dont make any comments, let alone like or subscribe, but ur cinematography is so good i had to. On top of that, content is very relatable , insightful, find it very helpful . ❤
You seem like someone who genuinely has all the qualities for a loving and supportive relationship. Lot of women today are competitive, combative and extremely picky that it is ruinous to the whole process of finding and choosing to stay with someone
I feel similar things recently. Love or whatever that emotional feeling you try to put on somebody does not comes from my check list or from the partner. It's inside me. When I'm ready to truely love myself, then I'm ready to love someone. I had waited so long to find someone who could color my world. However, once my world became colorful and vivid, I just came across to "the soulmate". As I am attracted to the colorful world someone has, so does the partner. The feeling that I don't have to paint my lover, and viceversa is what we feel "stable".
This made me cry, literally! 😭 It's incredibly relatable. Growing up without a father has been tough for me. I've always longed for a father's love. I'm really broken inside because of his absence. I always think that love isn't genuine. I feel it from people around me. My mum married another one - who's a narcissist and manipulative - which really made me realize it's better to be alone than being with someone who'll torture you physically and emotionally. I'm really afraid to embrace love because something is holding me back, and that is ... I don't want to experience what my mum went through with her husband. Although I know not everyone is bad and there are still good people out there, seeing many broken marriages in this generation makes me wonder if true love exists anymore. P.S. I forgot to mention... I identify as both a maximizer and hesitant dater. I really have high expectations for physical appearance, emotional compatibility, and social status, yet I'm hesitant to try due to feelings of inadequacy. Aside from my trauma, I've also got many insecurities that hold me back from trying dating. I'm still 23 and I think that's okay. I'm still exploring, and figuring all things out.
Thank you all for the warm comments... so glad to see that this topic is resonating with you guys..
Hope we all remember to be kind to ourselves, don't stress out.. and understand that it's absolutely okay to take some time...
Really love your style. Remember me a little bit of "beyond ghibli" vibes. Keep it up!
I came across this amazing video through RUclips recommendations, and both the filming techniques and content are outstanding! But what shocked me even more was the photo at the end of the video, which made me realize that we were once at the same church in Taiwan. I could hardly believe it was true!
Hello, are you still single? You're so cute and beautiful. I want to be your boyfriend. I love you
What a great and inspiring video that is. Thank you so very much. I hope you're doing fine and have a wonderful time 😊
2025 Happy New Year...Beautiful movie...I loved it. Wish you find your one and only soon.
The older I get, the more I learn that "love" in relationships is really about letting out the love within us and sharing that energy. It's not about getting something out of someone else. True love is just self-love that you let out of your cage.
That's such a beautiful way to explain it ❤
At what age did u realise it?
I dont understand how people have to LEARN that. if you dont have that mentality in from birth, you are just bad
I heard a quote that "Love is what happens when we STOP trying to figure out who deserves it" and I feel that it's similar to what you said.
Ah so love undeserving ppl got it😂 @@alexanderk6340
The cinematography is through the roof.
The effort into detail is amazing. I had the same impression, such good quality
Yessss wanted to say the same! Such an eye candy this is not just a video it’s a whole movie ! What a talent, Chloe!
This
It feels like a artsy movie from the 2000s !!!
It's giving those types of Chinese family movies with that rustic hazy colour grading to it.
I'm a hesitator for sure. It was subconsciously ingrained in me when I hit puberty. You can't date, you need to finish your education, have a stable job, be more responsible, be more put together, be mature...And bcos I haven't felt I've accomplished all of this, I never felt I'm ready to be in a relationship
yes this. im such a hopless romantic but part of me refuses to allow it until I've built the life I want
Both of you are w0rthl3$$. And thankfully, life, nature and Blokes will not forgive you for believing in the nonsense and wrong ways that you did. It's payback time.
@@sleepiisings You ain't romantic.
@@sleepiisings yeah exactly, the life that I want or even the perfect person that I want to be
omg this is exactly how it’s been for me as well
This video brought tears to my eyes. I’m turning 31 in a few days. Never been in a relationship because I don’t feel good enough. “Maybe when I lose weight” “maybe when I have a better job” “maybe when I have a better personality” and constantly making excuses “I’m too busy”
When You have a relationship with yourself, then you will stop feeling not good enough, when you relate to yourself you will love your body enough not to over feed it, and give it healthy exercise to keep it fit, when you truly love yourself you will start living the vocation you truly aspire to, and when you undo the fate of the personality that was created for you by your family and culture in childhood, you will begin to create a mature adult taking full responsibility for your own destiny creating the life you want to live, every morning when you wake up you have 2 choices, make excuses or take actions to implement your highest potential and then loving yourself that much will attract another compliment who also loves themselves and open to sharing that love. You have another 5 years before you peak, best not waste another day. Good luck.
Just fucking start giving the guys who do hit on you and download all the apps you can and find a gentleman!!!!! Sorry became a bit toxic
@ lol I’ve been on and off apps for over 12 years. Made some friends but no relationships.
@@no-one0425 maybe u r not taking care of your personal health and wealth?
happy late 31st birthday
I’ve been obsessed with this idea ever since I started reading 'The Seduction Alchemy' by Sophie Carter. Why don’t we talk about this stuff more? GIRLS, you need to check that out!
As an artist, I find that seeking love is like painting a perfect masterpiece-all the colors need to harmonize, but they don’t always blend as I envisioned. No matter how much I pour my heart into things and people, this canvas of true love often ends up in incomplete tones. It’s often how people navigate their feelings, that constant fear of taking risks and opening up. Yet, deep down, I hope to discover which colors will finally fit into this picture. And just as Bob Ross reminds us, 'We don’t make mistakes, just happy little accidents.' Maybe these unexpected turns in my journey are simply part of the process, leading me to a love that is richer and more vibrant than I ever imagined.
This comforts me, thanks
i love how you described it! so thoughtful and poetic but very true 🤍
Perfection is the willingness to be imperfect.
Exactly right
That was so beautiful
Wtf this is top level cinematography
As a 50 y.o. man, I'm astounded at the depth that some of the content creator have while being so young. I'm proud of the next generation of our beautiful world with all the good & the bad.
Next generation is always better than the one before. We've actually come a long way as humanity 😊
The reality is, love has nothing to do with relationships, the best description of love is selfless giving without any expectation of reciprocity. Relationships are mostly about what value both parties provide each other. Love is something that can’t be exchanged as value, it’s given at the pleasure of the giver
best comment tbh
This comment is great!!
Love is giving without you needing anything in return! Love is when you are complete within yourself … you are love, you need nothing but only want to give love to the other, this is the most beautiful feeling ever! The moment you “want” something for yourself from the other … love disappears in an instance.
Thisss
Just suck it up and go find a hooker. Pay her enough and you will get both
You've said it best, yea
Great advice and I can attest to it. When I was in my twenties and thirties, I was chasing perfection. I dated, went around and around emotionally from one woman to the next. Thought I had found THE ONE twice only to have things fall apart. Was lonely and hopeless at 39. Then in my forties, I tossed away the list I had in my head. I tried to live in the moment. When I met my wife, I knew very quickly she was someone I could make a life with. We have been together for twenty-one years now. I can say hands down that my fifties were the most enjoyable decade of my life. So, bottom line, is it is never too late. Life is full of twists and turns. You just need to be self-aware enough to see love (whatever that means) when it is staring you in the face. That comes by first loving yourself.
that's so inspirational. Do you have any specific advice for maintaining a healthy/happy relationship?
@@xpiredskillz5326 Communication. It sounds so cliche, but it's true. Take the time to talk each day, even if it is only for a few minutes. "How was your gorgeous day" is a daily question we ask each other. Then we either laugh and complain how lousy it was or regale each other with something good that happened. My wife is a natural comic. She can mimic anyone and tells great stories. I guess it was something she learned when she was a school teacher in Japan. I bring a more analytical approach to dealing with whatever problem she might be dealing with, which she appreciates. "I have a question, Mr. Analyst," is the question that often leads to an hours-long discussion that can range from international affairs to the cost of living to quantum mechanics. We listen to each other. We fill in each other's gaps. We complement each other. And, most importantly, we give each other step massages when the other is down and needs to feel good.
@@sandbagger1912 That’s beautiful 🥹 I’m happy that you found each other 🩷
@@sandbagger1912 That sounds so sweet! It warms my heart that you and your wife have such a great bond and compliment each other very well. A little happiness added to my day.
@@sandbagger1912 how do you know she the one? And know she is someone you could life with?
Every relationship experiences challenges, but there is always a way to progress. My marriage was tested by significant problems, but with appropriate help, my wife and I worked through them and strengthened our bond. Solutions are available if you’re ready to put in the effort and work together. Stay hopeful-there’s always a way.
I’m dealing with major issues in my relationship and can't imagine losing her. I love and miss her dearly and am prepared to do whatever is needed to have her back in my life. Any advice or direction you can offer would mean a lot to me.
Saying farewell to someone you love dearly is never easy, but in my case, I had the assistance of a spiritual counselor who saved my marriage from falling apart. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
I appreciate your direction. I'll swiftly look her up online. Thanks. I'm hopeful that following this course of action will bring about positive changes for me too; her absence is deeply felt.
You should... I promise you will not regret it
Why are you doxing your marriage counselor
True love is having a best friend through thick and thin. You make compromises for each other and love one another even when you’re upset with one another. It’s having the patience to learn and grow together.
sounds...like a myth? Doesnt seem realistic anymore. Dating people tells you this fairly quickly..
@@Jadenyoung1well, sure. But doesn’t mean it’s impossible
@@Forgottengs2ddess Not saying its impossible. Just very, very, very unlikely to find
@@Jadenyoung1this is just a negative mindset. finding true love is the point of dating. it’s a process, and it takes time. no one meets the love of their life immediately, unless they do get really lucky lol. keep meeting people, keep loving. you’ll find that person in time
@@Jadenyoung1 That's a super negative mindset to have. With that mindset you're bound to not find anyone
she looks just like hanni. and this type of videos are so cozy, love when they show up on my feed
she is
She looks like hanni mix with sulli
@@DarkHal0she does! 😮
Someone said it 👏
i thought she looks like sulli
I would say that I'm also a Maximizer. A quote that has helped me overcome this and to re-align my mindset is "Grass is not greener on the side. Grass is greener where you water it". Don't get pressured by social media. Fall in love when you are ready, and when you know someone is there to catch you.
Ooooh I like that quote much better. Tis true. Finding green in others outside of you can never be found because perfection does not exist. Gotta create that green within us, then everything else around us can seem more solid.
Hesitator here. I always knew about me hesitating in relationships because I'm extremely introverted. To be weary of those blindspots is something that will hopefully help me in the future.
It's a real pain, when you're dress and look so cute and you look so young and shiny, but there's nobody who can receive and enjoy all that beauty.
There is someone and that someone is you. The Universe can see you through your eyes. Be appreciative of yourself because regardless of someone else being there (They will come one day), you got you until the end of the line. Wishing you the Love you deserve. 💙💙
😅@@Patapoon
@@Patapoon😅
@@Patapoon Exactly this! I’ve struggled with believing that I need someone else to appreciate my beauty, but I recently started learning to do so with myself 🩷
I feel it too. I guess you're a woman, I am and this is something deep, perhaps we're taught to feel* worthy only when others look at us.
The revolution is to understand that ourselves are the primary givers and receivers of that beauty. Be kind to yourself ❤
I'm for sure a Hesitator. My inner voice always reminds me I'll be ready when I'm emotionally intelligent and available
This is quite reasonable yk. For example in my case after a breakup I was really overthinking a LOT about how I'm probably not good enough for anyone or something like that. I noticed how bad I was feeling and kind of locked myself out of the dating scene for quite some time and tried to sort things out with my mind, put a goal to love myself more and accepted that if I won't find anyone then that's ok as long as I feel good in my own company and if something WILL happen one day then I'll be happy with someone and share the love I have with that person.
And there, by accident, I've met someone I feel safe and peaceful with and things seem pretty effortless with them. We can literally sit in silence and still have an amazing time together (I've known them for some time but couldn't see my true feelings before my journey)🩵
Of course you have to put your energy into every relationship, just don't make yourself feel exhausted from every interaction you have, that's really unhealthy.
So my conclusion is: You can't truly love if you don't love yourself first! So go into the world when you're ready for it ⭐💖 lots of love and good luck out there
P.S. That "marry your best friend" statement is true, I really recommend building deeper romantic relationships on friendship and getting to REALLY know each other instead of jumping into something that could lead you to a bad heartbreak later (speaking from experience) :')
It's common for relationships to encounter obstacles, but there is always a solution. My own marriage faced considerable issues, but with appropriate guidance, my husband and I worked through them and deepened our connection. Solutions are achievable if you're ready to work together. Stay hopeful-there's always a way forward.
I'm facing significant relationship problems and can't stand the idea of losing him. My love and longing for my partner are profound, and I'm ready to do anything to restore our connection. I would greatly appreciate any advice or help you could give.
Parting with someone you love is always a challenging process, but in my experience, I had the guidance of a spiritual guide who prevented my marriage from collapsing. His name is Father Akunna.
I'II quickly search for him online. Thank you.
I'm optimistic that taking this approach will yield results for me as well; his absence is keenly felt.
I promise you will not regret it.
I just searched for Father Akunna online indeed he is a very generous man and the most powerful spell caster that I have ever seen he brought my husband back to me with so much love ❤
The camera work, editing and storytelling of this video is fantastic! Well done 👍
Exactly!
0:15 only 15 secs in and you already just described my entire family life
Wowwwwww you made this like a real tv drama. Well done!
After experiencing the end of a nearly 5 year relationship at 39 years old, I think my approach is going to be to do the things that bring me joy, with other people when possible, and do my best to be someone who others would like to be around. Eventually something will turn out. Making perfect the enemy of good is a great way to ruin nearly anything.
8:00 I am absolutely a hesitator because I 100% set unrealistic expectations for myself, sometimes even if nobody else has them of me. I'm always telling myself I'm not ready I need to do this, I need to do that instead of just jumping straight into it head first. So I did, I jumped right in. I am now here, wishing I did it sooner, but I am glad I am doing it now. We will see if it ends up fruitful, because even if it doesn't, I think I'm, just gonna do it again and push my comfort zone further and further until I grow!
You're w3ak.
Good luck 💗 I wish I could do it too. Pls update us from time to time
I am a hopeless romantic.
When things are going great, everything is perfect and I feel like the universe has blessed me.
Then things go wrong, it's the other person not seeing how sensible my ways are... The problem is them and not me. So I go out and continue to believe the next one will be the *right* fit for me.
Thank you for pointing out that I should appreciate the love that is shown and that is right in front of my eyes.
Easy to overlook this until it is gone for good. Then regret sets in.
Also, learn to love yourself. And never stop learning. 🎉❤
You literally have the mindset my ex has lol he got rid of me for someone new in the last months of our relationship. Cheated on me, yes. With the girl he told me I shouldn't worry about, only, now I know I wasn't crazy for assuming she was more. He thinks he's found the better fit in her. Yet he thinks the Universe has abandoned him if every single aspect of his life isn't going right. Mfker, please. Good riddance 😂
before i even got into the topic of your video i noticed that your film making skills are showing!! the aesthetics are immaculate
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
you helped me realize that my definition of love is “me”. thank you
I am a hesitator, since dating is never a thing for me in my whole 24 years lol. Sometimes I kinda regretted not to try dating when I'm in college, because as I got older, I find it way too hard to meet someone.
Hope sooner or later, I will meet someone who loves me for who I am, though :)
Omg i feel the same way. I never tried in college because i was focused on my studies etc but now im working, ive hit 26 and am still alone. Its sooooo hard to date so im really worried. But i wish you the best of luck as well
@@hpfusion8842I personally think it's better to regret not having dated anyone yet than to regret miserably failed relationships. You are the lucky one in my eyes 😊
same, I’ve seen few good looking guys but not same course as me, i just shrugged it since I focused more on my goal to graduate, study well to be responsible and mature, and friends. sometimes I feel so ordinary and boring compared to others because I don’t like to experience pain.
I’m 27 and I just recently found a partner and dated for the first time. You will find a person for you , as long you don’t stop looking.
Thank you so much for this, This made me realize that there is nothing wrong with me but there is wrong how I see things are.
My past relationships always make me feel like I’m crazy for wanting genuine not perfect relationships because all they do is lie/cheat. This literally saved my mind & heart today.
I think there's been a huge shift between releasing our masculine and feminine energy, which is also the energy of love. I got myself an ebook that explains how to unleash feminine aura, the ebook is from synfla, and Chloe, thank you for this amazing video.
Occult practice
Love to me is the commitment to making the other person's happiness one of the most important things to you, and vice-versa
I got goosebumps seeing this ,she explained it perfectly, I feel like love cant be truly defined, everyone has their own definition of love ,falling in love is this weird feeling but u like it ,it's like this person is ur home ,it's beautiful and risky
love is when someone shatters your present reality
This video really opened my eyes about a few things i’ve been doing wrong.
I also started reading the book Celestial Soulmate by Lentlish, and it’s full of great advice on mindset, cold approaches, and building confidence.
With the stuff i’ve learned from you and the book, i’m finally ready to take action and meet new people.
I searched for it out of curiosity, and I’m so glad I did. Just started reading, and it’s already helping.
When you talk about finding the perfect partner - the person who is perfect for you - I think
it's valuable to consider that nobody starts off perfect at anything. People are complicated creatures, and, like with anything complicated, it takes practice to become great at learning how to be a good partner (in general and for your significant other specifically). There is no perfect person - yet - because we are all something that takes practice.
Love is being kind to each other, caring and cherishing, working together to find a solution and building happiness and making life and the world around us more precious for each other. Every women that I’ve been with refused to accept this, and always, always strive for more, and more. And the one who remained is defeated into submitting to kindness, cherishing and growing together, like a beautiful flower reaching out to the sun, but can never touch it.
One of my favorite love songs is Compartir by Carla Morrison and my favorite line goes like "Quiero aprender a entender al mundo contigo" which translates to "I want to learn to understand the world with you." The first time I heard it just struck me as such a beautiful sentiment.
Im 26 and been single all my life. Im a hesitator. Wish me luck.
Also just want to say you have an amazingly calming voice i love it
im a year younger, unfortunately i feel like im a mixture of all but more heavier on the hesitator side. im trying too and good luck! 😊
@valleyofthedolls thnx. Its easy being a hesitator. Good luck too. I was crying today, pretty sure ill be alone forever.
@@hpfusion8842you both are one year apart why not date each other. Just saying.😉
@@valleyofthedollsread my previous comment.
@@govindsharma8698 firstly they are likely a man as not everyone with a female profile pic is a women, secondly im sure they love very far away and in a different country. I aint got time for long distance relationships
I'm the hesitator. I really thought I wouldn't be included in the archetypes when you first mentioned them, none really stood out to me just by their names. Then you explained each one of them and it made perfect sense.
Honestly, I enjoyed this video with soft and warm expressions, slowing down that makes the purpose of love so touching. Love is accepting someone as they are and trusting each other even if the future is unsettling. Even with the up and down being committed to each other is what sparks quality in that person.
Not going to lie, a maximizer type of partner sounds like an absolute nightmare to me. I'd be crushed if I found out the person I loved secretly wished I was "5% hotter" or compared me to someone they deemed more attractive or "better" than me.
Yeah and one of the conclusions of the video is to settle. And I’m not sure if it would be that comforting to the partner that they are secretly being settled for
"maximiser" is just a term for people who always keep their options open. they always want the better looking, more successful more this and that etc. the grass is greener on the other side type.
But that's the beauty of it though, there probably is someone 5% hotter somewhere out there but like Chloe said it's that constant commitment everyday to give everything you have to this person despite all these idealistic thoughts and noise, to cultivate something much deeper is what I assume love is
@@monkeyseemonkeydo1794 jiat do looksmaxxing bro
Nobody is in one single category, everyone has more or less measures of each. People need to stop putting tags and systemitizing things, people used to take things simple back then, no systems just go out and live life.
I never imagined that I could find something so relatable in a random RUclips video. I hadn't heard of the term before, but now I know I'm definitely a hesitator, not only in romantic matters but also in every other aspect of life. I'm always hesitant to do things because I suppose I'm not good enough. I need to prepare a lot of things in advance, try to be the perfect version of myself before attempting to do anything, otherwise, I would fail or couldn't enjoy the result as much as I expected. I've missed a lot because of that, and when I realized, I was also aware of the fact that time was not waiting for me, I'm not young anymore. But it's never too late. I'm starting to change my messed-up life, giving up on playing games all day, learning new things for a new career journey, trying to use dating apps again, going out more often, interacting with more people... then hopefully I can find someone out there to experience something people call love.
Stumbled upon this in my front page and glad I clicked. I have realized alot of what is mentioned myself already over the endless nights of reflecting, but it's always great to see it put into words/video and pick up a few other tidbits. I identify most with the hesitator, but I am learning to let go of it (partly) and just let myself go along with what comes.
Thank you very much for making this video.
Something I wanted to add; although it's not the best decision to come up with a meters-long scroll of wishes and needs and whatnot you hope to find in a partner, it's still good to make this clear to yourself; what are you looking for? What is important to you? That not everything is perfect, doesn't mean you should settle for something that's simply not doing you good.
I also believe it is impossible to find someone for you, let alone hold a relationship, if you don't love yourself first.
Hey Chloe! Very well put together video - great structure, clear message and a pleasant voice. Kept me hooked all the way through.
I think people often confuse love with lust. Your ending words sum it up perfectly: love is choosing a person again and again even if someone better comes along.
Thank you YT for recommending me this video.
Through out my life I been asking the same question “what is love?” I have come up with many many different definition and meanings of ‘love’ and it really gets complicated when I starts overthinking about it.
For a while I have given up on loving myself and people around me.
But now the definition of love I have “ love yourself unconditionally first before loving someone else”
Often when we want love, we want someone else to love us and forget about taking care of ourselves and forget this simple act of self care.
Also my new favorite RUclips channel 🥰💗
Love means putting the other ahead of yourself, very hard work long term, but when each does this for the other, long term love happens. It's not luck, it's work, feelings grow stronger with mutual self sacrifice. Good luck.
Thank you for this comment. I always think about love as a moment with a very beautiful woman, but maybe that's not the best strategy. While it is difficult to search for long-term serenity qualities in ourselves and others, still I find it difficult to focus on those qualities when I am thinking about someone. They don't seem to be there. And I have another issue which is that I can be clear in my intentions not only within myself but also expressing them to the other person. But usually it seems that when we express an appreciation people usually run away from us. If I tell a woman I've met for the first time that I really liked her appearance and I would want to know her better maybe she will tell me that A she's already engaged or B she won't answer. Maybe I should try, but still difficulty arises easily in this situations.
I disagree, love means loving tourself first, putting that boundary and then comes the harmony between two people. Without self love there can never be mutual love
Excellent. I met a couple who stayed many years together and I asked them their secret. She told me something I didn't expect and something I will always remember. She said the key is commitment. Love can get you there. Commitment keeps you there. And that is all part of love.
im def a hesitator, after my last relationship i constantly felt like i wasn’t enough for them or for the next person. which is totally not true. i think for you, being a maximalist isn’t a bad thing. i think it’s great to have high standards, as long as you are willing to connect with someone. if your standards are getting in the way of you getting to know if someone is right for you then maybe it’s a sign to lean into that fear and just try. thank you for this video, you seem very sweet and it’s really admirable how much thought you’ve put into thinking about love. unfortunately it’s so rare to find that these days.
pausing at 8 minutes to say that I'm the "hestator"
some many times where I've crossed these landmarks in my life where I told myself I'd be ready to date. as I'm getting older, I've been facing myself way more and seeing this pattern of always trying to chase a goal to feel worthy of something/someone
will be listening to the rest of this video to hear it all out 😌
I love how you post about stuff very relatable to women in their early to mid 20s
I love your editing, videography, your voice, and the message of the video!
I hope that you can continue to enjoy posting videos without being fixated on the number of views or likes as your channel grows bigger!
Your channel is such a gem!
this is so cute. the cinema, the voice, the aesthetic. SO CUTE. love it
Marriage is finding someone who suits you the most.
Love is finding someone you're willing to give everything for.
this video explains it so beautiful! as o grew up with my partner I felt that love is the feeling that makes you stay, forgive, and move on after some "mistakes" being made. every day I loved him more and more, and got more and more patient.its a very beautiful feeling
I'm a hesitator type mixed with the romantic type.
Beautiful video! I hope you and all the people in the comments find a lovely relationship and their missing partner.
I really get that "want to connect emotionally, intelectually and spiritually". I have drift away even from friends because of wanting this connection with people... It's hard, it's lonely but we'll get there.
Good things take time.
A lot of this is true. I used to really care about how I look. Now I’ve come to realize that pretty good looking. Lots of self love and self focus fixed a lot of my insecurities. I believe I’m getting closer to finding my someone. You seem like a chill person. Very pretty also. I think you’ll find someone to connect with! :)
I just want to comment on the cinematography - it’s beautiful and reminded me of the feelings I’ve felt when I watched early Wong Fu Productions videos. Please continue creating!
This video came up on my feed at the right time, thank you! It gave me some things to think about. I used to be a really big romanticizer and during my first relationship I came to realize that I loved the idea of love so much as well as the idea of soulmates and because of it poured all my heart into the relationship, tried to do all i can to be the best partner for the person i saw as my soulmate. After 4 years the relationship ended leaving me drained, lost and a hesitator.
First and foremost, this video was beautiful.
I think I am a hesitator. I have been always putting dating off because of me not being ready enough. I think that if a person is willing to be with me, share their life with me and handle my weird ass, the least I can give them in return is the world. So here I am trying to work harder and harder. As time passed, I realized that I building this unnatural and fantasy like expectations for myself, I have blocked everything else that is important in life.
You go around and look at people, watch couples, people younger than me, being more happy and content than me and its like, what am I even doing? trying to be something impossible, I have missed what is front of me. I have had chances to talk with people, maybe I could have been in a relationship ages ago and also had been more closer to that perfect image of myself than I am now.
Someone 5 years younger than me told me something a few days ago. He said, "I think I have found someone. I don't know if she is the perfect one...but, she is the one. I want to get better for her, for us. I want to be healthier, I want to be more active. She is here with me at the moment and that's all that matters to me. I am 100% sure that we together will be able to get somewhere further than what I alone could have ever gotten alone and with that stoic mindset.
I have been too fixated on being perfect, thinking way too hard about the future without even knowing whats right in front of me.
English is not my first language so sorry for the grammar. All I want to say to the people reading this and trying to get into a relationship or looking for someone. Just let things be, don't think too much. Even when you are out meeting someone, try to enjoy the moment. live 100% in the present and I assure you, your future will be 100% better.
Love for me isn't all that complicated. Its a feeling that makes me at ease. Something I can return to no matter what. It is something I am 100% confident in. Its right now and italso is in the future.
.
Thankyou Chloe for this amazing video, keep on growing and shining.
I'm the type of person who wants to be able to take care of the people he loves without being taken advantage of. I want to find someone who I believe has good qualities, and I have, but they don't always reciprocate-and that's okay. Truthfully, honesty to me is so important. I've always wondered how others viewed love. I don't have a type, per say, but more of hopes for meeting a decently good person that I connect with.
My perspective of love is from someone who’s completely in love and each day even harder, there was no checklist, just someone I met whom after that I missed without reason.I didn’t met him with the context of dating, in fact not even in the context of meeting each other, we just met and eventually found excuses to meet each other, other times we met by accident… we just kept seeing each other, out of wanting to be with each other, out of wanting to be ourselves with someone else. We tend to not be ourselves with others, well that’s one of the reasons I decided, I don’t care how he views me, even if we don’t get to be a couple but I gotta see him constantly, I cannot let this synergy end here or be forgotten. Eventually we got a little tipsy and kissed each other.
For me love, romantic love, is something that could grow beautifully with anyone if both put the effort, but there are sometimes when is something more than beautiful by it’s nature, the only effort you put is searching time to be there, time to be with that person whom if you’re with you feel yourself, you feel free, someone who if you’re with you feel like your own person grows, your spirituality grows.
Love has endless beautiful surprises, hope y’all get to experience it
honestly the best way is , just go with flow , accept everything as it is, enjoy the journey and there memories even if there is no finale.
Love ❤️ is Who you Are as Eternal Consciousness having a temporary journey in the space suit of the body until discarded at death, to die to each moment is to Live the Love that you already are always have been always will be, and when one stops pretending to be otherwise by clinging to the temporary for security when there is none, the bubble of delusion bursts and you wake to the reality of the Love that you are, and then you will naturally attract a compliment, birds of a feather stick together, be the one you seek, find the lover that you are. Be Love Beloved One! ❤
you got my like the moment yo u describe what is love, the music in the ground, the asteric, the light
OMG, she looks like Hanni fron New Jeans 😻😻😻😭😭😭😭
Na more like a mix of minji and hanni
one advice. nobody likes when their own beauty is based on someone else. just say she's beautiful. thats enough. comparing or making ocmment like what u did does not make the reciever happy about it. example. Omg u look a lot like fiona from shrek. not really a good compliment eventhough I have good intention
@@albertjai9174Why are you speaking on behalf of everyone? How do you know nobody likes it?
Yeah specially at the last part of the video .
She reminds me of Sully from fx
13:46 im still figuring this out but i think love is when someone can see you at your worse and still be with you, it's not about being with someone only at their best but to also see them fall and rise again, there's a saying that 'If you can watch me fail over again, and still be with me, then I want you in my success' like there's often times people leave when things get hard, but it's those people who stay behind to support you that really matter, and love is unconditional.
She finally made it to the place where we both belong.
I thought i was the only one who knew where it was.
Even if she just visits from time to time.
I am not alone.
Dear i can't believe that you are only 31... I'm just over 50 and been through a divorce and many relationships and have never been able to get out of this list place over been. This video has opened my eyes and made me think twice about what I've been looking for all my life. I thank you so much for what you have given me. You will find someone i am sure🙏🙏
I used to be a romanticizer for sure. I still love love. I met someone this year who was beautiful inside and out, but she was all three, a romanticizer, a maximizer, and a hesitater. I was willing to commit, but she wasn’t. I was willing to let her grow with me, but I realized I had to let her grow on her own. It really sucked breaking up with her because I finally felt like I had a real best friend and life partner. We went on so many adventures and had perfect chemistry. But she wasn’t ready. She didn’t want to commit. And as perfect as we were together, she wasn’t strong enough to hold on to one person right now. She wasn’t ready. Timing is just as important as chemistry, unfortunately. Sometimes there’s nothing else we can do. Sometimes things don’t work when you do absolutely everything right. And that’s sucks.
To me, love is the meaning of life. It’s commitment, I agree. I think it’s sacrifice. I think when you like someone, that has to do with attraction. But love is when you know there are things you don’t like, things that will be hard. But you stay together anyway.
At its worst? Love is one-sided. But at its best, love is reciprocated.
Love is an illusion. Loving is learning how to be patient and kind to another and receive in kind.
I think I'm a hesitator. It is not because I'm trying to grow out of a certain phase of life, it's because I've never been in a relationship before (I am 21) and I'm too scared of making mistakes that will lead my very first relationship to an end. I guess it's my fear of failure kicking in here, plus I irrationally want a romantic relationship to be my first and the last one. So whenever I feel an ounce of negativity, I find myself backing away from a potential relationship. Because I don't want to get myself into something that I don't strongly believe that will work out. It's toxic, I know, no wonder why I'm still single :')
I completely agree with your definition of “Love”..
To me, “Love” is… elusive.. Life throwing a lot at me right now more than ever before and I can’t even begin to try to look.. for love.
There are of course different levels of love. There is the primal attraction and physical attributes. Then there are the qualities in one’s personality that you only get to know over time. Then there are fundamentals themselves needed to make any relationship work: open honest communication to build trust, emotional intelligence, kindness, willingness to forgive, ability to compromise, empathy.. and the list goes on..
It’s difficult, time consuming, expensive, and you need attention to detail.. to say the least..
Maybe.. one day..
Tip 2 : Drop the checklist. (instantly make a new checklist ^^)
And yes, I sadly relate to the 12 years apart parents who are constantly bickering, giving us their children a really not healthy model to shape our conception of love and couple.
I've also struggled a lot to value love over other things like my passion and career (animation, and later on, photography), or friends, as my views on couple dynamics was always heavily polluted by my parents constant fights since I was a kid.
So in a sense, pretty early on, I linked my celibacy as independence and freedom (I could travel wherever I wanted whenever I wanted at the pace I wanted, could go watch whatever movie or eat whatever food without having to wait or agree ith someone else, could go out and back to sleep at the hour I wanted without anyone nagging me...), and most importantly, peace, which were far more valuable to me.
Only problem is : I got a bit too comfortable in my singleness. While I certainly enjoyed it in my 30ies, now in the middle of my 40ies (and no job prospect, since AI has destroyed my entire industry), I'm stuck living with my mother at 40+ yo, with a misery salary from some side gigs, and no financial independence to be even able to date.
But well, I guess since I'm single and without a family to take care of, I can still somehow survive the blow. It would have been that much more painful if I had to raise a family.
So yeah, while singleness is great, don't get too comfortable in it in the long run...
As for all your tips, all those are great tips.
I would add a few things about why it's so hard to find love nowadays :
Your generation (gen Z, born post 2000's) have grown up in the era of Internet, that was compounded by the creation of smartphones, which have been ubiquitous since the early 2010's. That, coupled with the fact that social medias (regardless of if it's IG, FB, Twitter, Tinder, RUclips, Snap, Tik Tok, etc) are inescapable, since everyone has direct access to them at the tip of a finger, is a direct obstacle to patience and commitment. After all, "Since the whole world is accessible at my fingertips, why should I settle for the less perfect version of the man I can find /deserve ?". It's very much the maximizer mentality you mentioned, which hits pretty much 80+% of youngsters nowadays.
That mentality is what transforms anyone showing up in pictures on your tinder or bumble or whatever as mere pixels in jpegs instead of fully fleshed individuals.
It's a miracle if people even bother read the bios, now (happens only if the person is easy on the eyes first).
Add on top of that 8 years of post MeToo neo-feminism that pits all women vs all men without exceptions, and while MeToo itself was a long overdue movement that had all the best intentions of the world (justice for the sexually abused women in the world), its aftermaths also managed to do a lot of collateral damage by giving power to a lot of opportunistic women eager to by ruin a lot of innocent men's lives and careers in court by gaslighting any attempt of advance as sexual harrasment or assault. And now, after 8 years in a row of this sh*t, people are wondering why men flirting with girls is a thing of the past ?
Add on top of that 2-3 years of social jail due to the pandemics lockdown, where lot of your generation should have been out and partying, mingling, dating, and instead were locked at home doing zoom parties, and are now completely pulling a blank when it comes to act as a human being in front of other people.
Dating was already not an easy task back in my days, 20 years ago, but goddamn, at least we were the last generation who did it the old way, face to face, human to human, with actual consequences should we mess up (like a slap in the face), and actual tingles in the spine when we actually ended up together. And that was precious !
Seeing how it has devolved these past 10 years, with nobody meeting face to face at first, swiping left and right like there's no tomorrow, as if it was some sort of twisted online videogame, I can't help but feel for your generation. We didn't have it easy, but it was still much easier than the shitty hand you guys and girls were handed.
Good luck to you. You seem to be an actual treasure, both emotionally and intellectually, on top of looking like an fairy of ancient chinese legends, and the man who you will settle with might be an extremely lucky guy (I say might coz of course you might not be perfect, and I'm sure there are a lot of quirks and flaws you carefully leave out of your vlogs, but I mean, who is perfect, nowadays ? ^^).
To finish, that was a fantastically narratively built video.
I can tell you took a long time to shoot and edit it. For some reason (might be my animation short director bias), I feel like you'd make a fantastic animation film director. You certainly got the eye, the emotion and the pacing for it. Starting with your parents arguing in the distance to loop it back at the very end with the family photo album with them during your childhood is some high level emotional storytelling loop worthy of Pixar (great ref to UP, btw).
Take care, I hope you can one day find someone to settle with and be comfortable, and stay safe inside during this horrendous typhoon day (I've heard it's the biggest to hit Taiwan since 1996).
Tip #1: Know Your Blindspot, are you a Romanticizer? Maximizer? Hesitator?
Tip #2: Throw Away Your Checklist, instead of surface level qualities, prioritize maturity
Tip #3: Don't Fall Into the Interview Trap, be present like with friends, try to have fun
Tip #4: Take An Experimental Approach, try new activities to keep things fresh
Tip #5: Don't Let Perfect Be the Enemy of Great, constantly wondering what else is out there makes you miss out on what you already have, appreciate the love and support you have
I summarized the tips in hopes that it would help cement these ideas into my head.
I'm a hesitator, but not anymore, I thought that I didn't have the right to love, because of my current circumstances of being jobless, not having everything figured out, and idea that I should be focusing more on studying how to break into another career field.
But now I see that I can still prioritize loving and being loved, it's always been a matter of will, not time or what I should or shouldn't be doing.
I'm still figuring out how to meet new people to vibe with though. Maybe I'll update my old dating profile with better pictures.
Love, to me, is loyalty, being there when things are bad, and being there when things are good. Never giving up on them. I just have to get better at choosing who to be loyal to, maybe by focusing on a person's long term qualities and maturity.
Take care, thanks for sharing, I subscribed
the part of being jobless and not knowing what to do hits home, i feel afraid of properly telling someone how i feel because i don't believe the current me could be liked or loved back but your comment gives me a bit of courage 🫡
This guy gets it. Especially with the perfect, great part.
Guys and girls: don't pay attention to social media when it comes to relationships. It will mess up more things than you realise. Itl make you doubt yourself- doubt your partner.
Trust me, trust your partner, don't trust social media
May you all find love one day
Beautiful notes. I would just say, don't entertain yourself too much with dating apps. I've been there for some time but the harsh truth is that people there think the others are replaceable, your crush might be some swipes away.
When you're in person, you bring more effort and presence into the moment and can see a person through their dimensions, Vs in dating apps you only measure by looks or filters!!
Go outside, force yourself to meet people in real life, no matter how small the interaction is
@@marte1376 You're probably right, it's more fun to try to get to know people in person anyway.
wow, I just finished the video and I'm stunned how good it was. I felt so warm and calm listening to you talking, your voice is soothing. It also went really well with the mood you set with the music choices.
Regarding the types of daters: I see traits of all of them within me. I love love, but I think I'd be logical enough to not end a relationship when things get hard. I gave up on a few opportunities because I thought it's not good enough, but I think I'm aware I won't end up with a super model who loves videogames. I also gave up on dating temporarily to make myself more attractive by working out and finding a new job, but I wouldn't run away if love finds me during the process.
I'm pretty sure my mindset for love has evolved to be quite solid, yet I am still alone at 32. It's tough out there, but I haven't lost hope, yet.
Your outlook on all of this is very similar to my own. It makes me hopeful that there are more people out there like this :]
I have yet to meet them in my life, but I wish the best of luck to all of us.
Love is a decision.
Wow what a comfortable voice, comfortable background music, sweet script, just the type of video to relax and reflect on the thought that dating doesn't necessarily be have to like they show in TV show or any other fictional things,it is about understanding and always choosing that one person ❤
I love your music selections :) minor details but im a sucker for details.
Thank you for this. I just ended a seven-year relationship and have been going through a lot these past few days. I keep asking myself the same question: "What is love?" Just when I thought people simply move on, always seeking the next best thing, you showed up-and I’m glad you did. You put things into perspective and gave me a little hope.
This is a wonderfully warm and inspiring video. And you, Chloe, seem a gift to us all. Any guy would be truly blessed to grow old with you (and, full disclosure, that’s coming from a guy). Be patient - something tells me that you’ll find the one who recognizes that instinctively and the ‘decision’ to which you allude will come very naturally.
I love this comment. Thanks for empathizing with the struggle of someone who doesn't know when true love is coming
I’m 25, and have been a single guy for almost 5 years now. This video really resonated with me! While the free time of being single has been nice for life productivity, eventually it wares on you. This is especially when like you said, all of your friends are getting married and having kids. It’s been really easy to say “I’m focusing on myself”, so I definitely think I’m the hesitator type lmao. Wishing you the best in the future!
Can totally relate to that struggle. Meeting people was never an issue for me. Finding that connection is. I don’t fall into any of those categories. I recently found out that some people are more rationally attracted to others. It’s that case when you go down your list of specs and fall for the person you admire (理性吸引）. Some people are instinctive （直觉吸引）that’s my case. There’s no reason why instinctive fall for someone, they just do. My piece of advice would be “learn to be happy with yourself and being happy with someone as a bonus. Don’t put your happiness on someone’s else shoulders”. For me love is a lot of things. If I had to put it in one word I would say that love is faith.
I wish for everyone to find someone that actually loves them ❤
thank you ❤ i wish you the same 💌
I’m a hesitater…I often find myself delaying putting myself out there to get the love I want and deserve. All because of superficial things; my status, my appearance, and overall who I am as a person was what I thought I needed to change to get that love. But you shouldn’t have to change and wait to have a person fall for you.
Growing in love matters more than falling in it…go find your person :))
I am very ugly and boring also introvert with a low self esteem and so I grow up to have this belief that people like me are not meant to be loved and live that beautiful experience
coming from one person who struggles with self esteem to another, self-awareness is a good thing to have. Ask yourself this: are you actually "ugly" and "boring", or did other people make you feel this way? Were you born with this "ugliness", or did you reach a point in your life when people started to tear you down with hurtful words?
It can be difficult and frustrating to do so, but rejecting other peoples' opinions of you, and instead pointing out features you like about yourself, or are admirable (can be physical, emotional, personality-based traits) will help with self-perception. Building a relationship with yourself by treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and patience will make you feel better about yourself. Basically, putting yourself down only makes you feel worse, so stop.
As for introversion, unfortunately you have to force yourself to a certain extent to start conversations with people you're interested in, keep the convo going by any means (as long as you both are comfortable, don't force connections), or be lucky enough that the person you like is an extravert and takes the reigns in talking to you lol. Even if you don't end up in a relationship with someone else, your relationship with yourself will remain.
Idk it's less about being ugly and more are you willing to put in the work to actually find what you want. Dating when you feel this way can be heartbreaking work though, so if you don't want to put in the work it's completely valid
It all comes down to mindset, I don’t believe people are inherently ugly and boring. But if you think you are, you won’t try to learn valuable social skills or learn upkeep your appearance in ways that would suit you and your personality.
Enjoy your life, enjoy yourself and love yourself with care. Confidence and genuine self love is a foundational building block for anything in life and in turn you would become more attractive to the eyes of others
I have look for love for a long time. Now I think love is everywhere. There is always someone out there who cares about each one of us. Just spread our love and good energy will surround us forever!
1. no, there will be no perfect guy/girl for you out there. if there are, they're mostly players.
2. you already know this. the older you are, the longer your list will be.
3. I agree with you, in the end it is just commitment. because no matter how much you love him/her now, it will fade away and commitment is the only thing that keep us together.
4. if you do not want to be dissapointed then don't go out in the first place because they will dissapoint you.
btw you look like Moon Ga Young.
I relate to this so much… I’m the hesitator. I kept saying once I heal my eczema, once I fix my teeth, once I’m mentally stable and love myself… and then 10 years passed. Now I feel too old, even if I’m told I’m still young.
While this all address the mindset behind dating, it doesn't actually answer how you actually go about finding people to even go out on dates with. Nowadays, everyone is unwilling to even get to know you if you don't already know each other. People have very closed circles and they're very judgy on first appearances. Most people will be ready to dismiss you right away as a non-option. That is the most challeging part in my experience.
Agreed 100%. Even I'm very skeptical about making new friends
@@rosesareromsee even making new friends is really hard, i find that i can only do it online reliably
About Time being shown as the pinnacle of love in a movie is the representation that matters to me. I love about time sm and im so happy you do too
I usually dont make any comments, let alone like or subscribe, but ur cinematography is so good i had to. On top of that, content is very relatable , insightful, find it very helpful . ❤
I love that you put subtitles in all the video, because i'm not a native english speaker, and with the subtitles I understand better all the video :3
You seem like someone who genuinely has all the qualities for a loving and supportive relationship. Lot of women today are competitive, combative and extremely picky that it is ruinous to the whole process of finding and choosing to stay with someone
"The answer was never out there to be looked for..." that's it right there 👏thank you for sharing
Love is a decision,,, what an insight !
Yes a choice 😊 like having coffee black.
I don’t want to live with someone who has a different worldview than mine. But I know eventually I’ll get desperate & settle down. Life goes on
4:03 I chuchkled because just after you said "We need... strategy." the song started with "I don't wanna to be a one man woman..." o_O
😂😂😅a1
I feel similar things recently. Love or whatever that emotional feeling you try to put on somebody does not comes from my check list or from the partner. It's inside me. When I'm ready to truely love myself, then I'm ready to love someone. I had waited so long to find someone who could color my world. However, once my world became colorful and vivid, I just came across to "the soulmate". As I am attracted to the colorful world someone has, so does the partner. The feeling that I don't have to paint my lover, and viceversa is what we feel "stable".
原來漂亮的人 也會有焦慮😂， 加油 所有的一切都是更好的緣份。
（該回森林囉！ 哥布林 在一起 強大！！）
This made me cry, literally! 😭 It's incredibly relatable. Growing up without a father has been tough for me. I've always longed for a father's love. I'm really broken inside because of his absence. I always think that love isn't genuine. I feel it from people around me. My mum married another one - who's a narcissist and manipulative - which really made me realize it's better to be alone than being with someone who'll torture you physically and emotionally. I'm really afraid to embrace love because something is holding me back, and that is ... I don't want to experience what my mum went through with her husband. Although I know not everyone is bad and there are still good people out there, seeing many broken marriages in this generation makes me wonder if true love exists anymore.
P.S. I forgot to mention... I identify as both a maximizer and hesitant dater. I really have high expectations for physical appearance, emotional compatibility, and social status, yet I'm hesitant to try due to feelings of inadequacy. Aside from my trauma, I've also got many insecurities that hold me back from trying dating. I'm still 23 and I think that's okay. I'm still exploring, and figuring all things out.