Secrets Behind Britney Spears Meltdown: How to Stop Trying To Save Someone! | Shallon Lester
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- Опубликовано: 15 сен 2024
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Britney Spears has another public meltdown, this time at Chateau Marmont, and doesn't seem to think there's an actual problem. Was the Free Britney conservatorship movement a bad idea? I'll tell you how to know when to away and how to stop trying to save someone!
www.passes.com...
#celebritygossip #britneyspears
#shallonlester @britneyspears @dailymail
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💜About Shallon Lester💜
CELEB GOSSIP AND LOVE LESSONS!
Got a love, dating or friendship question? You've come to the right place! I'm Shallon Lester, a two-time published author, NYC magazine editor and star of Howcast's viral kissing videos. I spill the tea on celebs like Kylie Jenner, the Kardashians, Beyonce, Shawn Mendes, Justin Bieber, Hailey Baldwin, Rihanna and more, breaking down their relationships, scandals and psychology to see what lessons WE can learn, and give you no-nonsense advice and real-world tips on everything from dating apps and players, to family and friends!
Stopping yourself from living doesn’t always stop other people from dying. That hits hard, but is spot on!
It’s a line from the golden girls 😂 and I’ve never forgotten it!
Good luck trying to stop anyone on the planet dying!! It’s actually part of the life experience 🙄
@@TheMisterMarilyn good grief, you completely missed the point 🤦🏻♀️!
@@shallonlesterIt's difficult to show gratitude for covert help. Whom do you thank and for what? It is never valuable when someone helps you on things that you have a stance on that they don't know about. Do you want help with learning to appreciate older men?
I don’t think she doesn’t wanna be saved. I think that the controllers are starting the narrative of what is going to be her cause of death that they’re going to announce to the public
The saddest thing is when the "broken person" you're trying to save is your parent or child. Sadly, i have experience with this 💔 It's heartbreaking.
Thank you for this one!
I can’t even imagine. I mean, yes I can- my father was a very broken person and I had absolutely nothing to do with him. Mostly because he didn’t want much of anything to do with me and I truly now see that as a blessing. Because exactly, I would’ve moved heaven and earth to try to save or fix him, and I do that enough without even having that in my history!
@@shallonlester I am so, so, sorry you had that experience and thank you for sharing. It helps for people to feel less alone in it. So many of us have had fathers who were not the parents we deserved, I think it can put a lot of passion into someone to not repeat the mistakes of our family's past.
@@shallonlester I broke off contact with my father a couple of years ago because he was just too toxic. Not without a warning though, I tried everything else before doing that. But no remorse/apology whatsoever, so I stopped talking to him eventually.
He then died last year and completely disowned me beforehand (he must have re-written his will after we stopped talking). He had literally written that I wasn't his daughter anymore.
Some people truly don't deserve kids..
So true. Though, usually it is the parent who is actually responsible. Like in Britney's case...
Shallon trying to go through Britney's Instagram captions is everything 😂
They are def the most unreadable captions I think I've ever seen, my eyes water just looking at them
@@FishareFriendsNotFood972 lmaooo omg me too, I have to read them like 10 times and still idk 🤷♀️
I wish she would have used her Crystal voice 😂
Shallon, I'm Latina from LA and you naileeeeed it with the VATO 🤣🤣 So true!! Every Latino has a son/brother/cousin like this guy.
Yes, and it’s the biggest embarrassment.
Once I started feeling mentally healthy, I began standing up for myself and being assertive. Before that, I was always caught up in trying to help others, using their problems as a way to avoid facing my own. I kept telling myself I had to prioritize helping a family member instead of focusing on my own well-being. But then, as I started reflecting on myself and working on my own growth, I realized something important: to really help someone, they have to be willing to help themselves first. A lot of the people I was trying to help were just stuck in this cycle of victimhood.
Shallon losing it over "space three exclamation point" got me cackling ngl 😂😂😂😂
shallon pls make a vid about drake i know he’s not worth your time but i wanna see you drag that man
😂
Oh my god yes!!!
😂
Okay, so I was a big member of the Free Britney movement, and I actually think Shallon and I can agree here! 🙂I am not of the opinion that Britney Spears is mentally stable. I am of the opinion that we should not enslave the insane, therefore I think the whole 'is Britney stable or not?' question to be really beside the point. Let's talk about the rights of the insane! Hopefully we agree people with diagnosed mental disorders should still have constitutional rights, right? The conservatorship was enslavement. I think we need to be very aware of the history of 'helping the mentally unstable' being used to enslave and torture women back in more sexist times. Women were thrown into mental institutions for trying to divorce their husbands, for having affairs, for all manner of 'unruly' behavior. And then, the women who persisted in fighting back were often lobotomized. I hope we can all agree here that even being fully mentally unwell does not justify non consensual lobotomization.
Meanwhile, mentally unwell MEN like Kanye West, are not institutionalized, not put into conservatorships, and get to just continue all their nutso decisions, with no one taking away their legal rights under the veil of 'helping' him. I agree with Shallon, stop trying to 'help' Britney! Unless she wants treatment, she should be able to live her life in as wacky and strange a way she wants. I do not need to support ANY of Brittany's life choices, I merely support her legal rights to make her own choices. I think if she destroys her own life and refuses help, that, while tragic, would be her choice, and the alternative, of imprisoning the mentally unwell, under the guise of 'helping' them, is worse. (P.S.-I DO support taking away someone's legal rights to make their own choices when they commit crimes against others.)
Britney
Exactly
@@mandycaz5562 thx!
If someone is psycotic they cannot make choices for themselves , they are literaly out of touch with reality, and nobody does lobotomoes anymore
Exactly. People need to just leave her alone. With Britney’s past I understand why she’s be mad that someone called 911 and paramedics and an ambulance for a twisted ankle. She doesn’t want that kind of attention. She could have quietly and privately been driven to a doctor. People need to just leave the woman alone. Let her live as she wants.
As far as your neighbor, some married women are threatened by single ones.
💯
So true, so sad 😞 like girl YOU don’t even want your paunchy ass husband you think I DO?? Sit down.
@@shallonlester 😆 exactly
Shallon did you see Kim get boo’d at the Tom Brady roast and how well she reacted/non-reacted? Think this a great video topic considering you’re big on non-reaction rn and also how it’s a complete opposite to Taylor Swift- still crying about something 8 years ago.
love Kim of hate her, her reaction/non-reaction was to die for, loved it
I agree! That would be a good video topic
In my humble opinion, these corally, warm pinks are YOUR colours Shallon 🤩 You look reallt radiant and glowy
She looks absolutely stunning 🤩
agree 😍✨
I have a feeling her story wont end well.
😔
Poor woman
I agree, it’s really sad.
E True Hollywood Story, right there.
😪
I agree, unfortunately she just keeps spiraling out of control.
My ex died 6 months ago from alcohol abuse.. for 8 years he would sit on the couch after work till he passed out...watching tv...and I would be standing there with a smile encouraging him to come outside to enjoy the sun or Maybe go for a bushwalk or something because he sat there drinking and not moving..everyday for 8 yrs... until one day he looked at me and he said.. do you think I'm not happy... ? I am doing exactly what I want to be doing right now... My brain almost melted... With Shallons advice I let him go and he latest 6 months .. but I'm glad I did it ..hope my account helps.
This is frightening. My husband is like this, but not with drinking, just with the lethargy. I know he is depressed but I wish he could find a different path
I’m so sorry you went through this.
I’m so sorry you went through this. My ex also died 6 months ago from alcohol abuse. He would go through 2-3 months of sobriety and would make so much progress with his life, only to relapse and have it all come crashing down. He was also mentally, physically and emotionally abusive to me when he would drink. I had to physically move away to another country in order to end the on-again-off-again cycle we were in for 4 years. Leaving was so hard but the pain I feel now that he’s gone is something else. I’m slowly processing it all.
1:24 Babes they weren't asking for my help, *they EXPECTED it.*
Care seekers single out the care takers.
I'm tired from all the years I gave advice, help, a shoulder to lean on, brainstorming sessions, free consulting, toilet to dump all their negative, pent up emotions, their full-time forever on call favourite therapist.
I finally killed my codependency and realized I was dealing with selfish takers.
They always had the combination of high self-absorption & low empathy.
I put in the time and work to heal & growth *on my own* they can do the same.
Givers need boundaries because takers have none!
I used to be the clean up crew. Once I stopped trying to clean up for my family it got easier to stop for other people
...and also, sometimes the person just isn't ready to change...because even though we're helping them, they are going to have to do the work of changing
"Chasing the dragon" that is EXACTLY how it feels when you're dealing with a broken/toxic person! The amount of will power it took me not to respond to a delusional "you'll be my 13 reason why!" message from my narc cousin was a Herculean effort. 😅
Oh I know. It’s SO HARD to break the addiction and it’s pretty chilling when you realize that you DO indeed have an addiction to their issues
I had an absolute "relationship of compliance" with my sister and mother. I'm the only 1 to have kids in my family and both thought I HAD to drive over 100 miles to THEM to make visits w- my kids convenient bc they figured I "owed them" and if I didn't I was accused of "blocking their love" of my children. My family had to move for $ reasons and then they insisted that I fly across the country at least 3x a yr.
My mother died of cancer about a yr ago. I've been back once since. Didn't visit sis. It kills me sometimes bc I remember the good times we have shared but it's not enough AND I don't want my kids to learn that one sided relationships are ok. I've been NO CONTACT for almost a yr now. Time does help. It does get easier. Stick with it and stay strong.
It sounds corny but I sing Miles Cyrus's song "Flowers" and it really helps. "Love me better...I CAN LOVE ME BETTER baby"
Brit is literally in the same boat as Kyane West but no-one is trying to put him into a conservatorship. They both definitely need an adult, but they just don't want help clearly. It's scary that we watch real mental health episodes live. Without the money, you would see both of them homeless on the streets and you would be scared of both. I do wish them help, it's devastating to watch
Your hair color and makeup look is beautiful! So fresh faced and springy 😃
Thank you so much!!
I think the problem with gunning for a conservatorship with Britney is that it's discriminatory and misogynistic (I know, I know. This word is heavily overused now; but it really applies here).
See, celebrities/actors like Charlie Sheen and Mathew Perry, comedians like Chris Farley and David Spade, musicians like Marvin Gaye and M.C. Hammer all went "crazy" and spent extravagant amounts of money on drugs, hookers, homes, not paying taxes, etc. for seasons of their lives. They all went into debt and/or got in trouble with the law; yet were never talked to about a conservatorship or "oversight".
They made their own money and were allowed to spend at their own discretion without anyone ever thinking of stepping in because they were "grown men". This is also a very, very short list of famous men I mention whom this applies to and their behaviors were never considered "weird" or something we believed we had the audacity to stop; especially in Hollywood. More so, it was even expected and "normal" behavior.
It has never made any sense to me that women like Britney Spears and Amanda Bynes are somehow "different". There are a lot of paralells between Britney and Charlie and they both wound up with a diagnosis of Bi-polar. The only differences in how they were treated is age and sex.
Thank you for saying this!
The seemingly out of nowhere, “I’m moving to Boston !!! Peace ✌️ “ really was the cherry on the cake for me 😂 Also, honourable mention to the random tulip emojis after “I need an espresso”
I was on a comment thread about this on Reddit and delusional Stan’s were like “I actually think she would do really well in Boston and she should move!” Like… THATS what you took away from her rant? Lol
That "We" referring to Cowboy, so wholesome 😂
My son!
Hair looks so pretty and I like her outfit.
I thought y’all were talking about Britney in the thumbnail for a second 😂. But yeah Shallon looks fabulous today💕
She’s looking her age tho not that anything is wrong with that
@@Bunny11344?? unnecessary comment
@@lydiawilkss why is looking your age a bad thing tho?? She does but it’s good means she’s lived life.
She’s out there talking about her nice white teeth when comparing to the uk in the video with Taylor swift and her ex and appearance but I guess cause you’re a fan girl you can’t say anything bad right?
I’m averse to wanting pity from others. It carries an icky feeling. It’s too close to being a victim for my liking. A certain level of empathy, when required or deserving, makes sense. Be aware of ppl around you that either demand pity, or construct a narrative looking for that result.
I’m the same way. It makes my skin crawl to think people pity me. Do you want empathy from your friends but not this undertone of “feel bad for her because she can’t do any better”
@@shallonlester Exactly! It’s precisely that feeling. This topic is in line with the “I’m good enough just the way I am” talk. Well, not really. If there’s certain aspects of yourself that are either hurting your relationships or your progress/growth in life, face it and address it. Ask for help if necessary. Adjusting and improving is lifelong. This radical self-acceptance is destructive to say the least. And these types of ppl are exactly the fans of Britney who supported this “freedom” for her. Thanks, Shallon! -Candice.
When I saw the story I legit thought ppl are doing a throwback story of when she had that break down in the 2000s, was shocked to find out this happened a few days ago.. also Paul soliz is totally reminding me of k-fed
Britney only dates trash men
She admitted in her book she loved adderall it made her not depressed, if you abuse them, I’m talking 4-5 pills a day, it’s essentially meth, no wonder her judgment is off.
He just looks......like I would not want to smell him.
@@KO-dv1fk it would explain her appearance and teeth. That’s very sad. I’m sure her parents tried helping her with rehab but she didn’t think anything was wrong with her.
Kevin Federline… I don’t understand why the association with this man now.
It was a different time back then. Of course normal people already could tell that Britney wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, but her mental issues weren’t so known like it is now.
Let’s not pretend that Britney doesn’t like married men with children or pregnant women.
It’s the third man with this one, it looks like it’s a fetish of hers to engage with men who have a pregnant partner or little kids at home.
That says a lot about a person, especially about a woman.
Britney is not serious person, probably never have been.
She is selfish, narcissistic, irrational, irresponsible, dishonest and a manipulator.
Kevin Federline might not have been a knight in shining armour, he wasn’t famous and he didn’t had a career like hers, but people shouldn’t blame him.
Britney ran towards him, he was most definitely star trucked by her and corrupted by her money.
Not saying that he was a saint because he left his pregnant girlfriend for Britney, but I’m sure that he has been manipulated and blinded by her bomb loving tendencies.
She makes me think about a black widow. 🕷️ Ready to hunt males and unstoppable, focused on taking them in her web of insanity.
Then when they leave, they get accused of being mean and users.
It’s her fault… She knows that men cannot take her seriously.
She might be ok for a one night stand, but I highly doubt that any man would like to have a serious relationship with Britney.
She seems to be exhausting, difficult and stressful to be around with.
I think years ago it was easier to fall for her, because she was younger, looking less complex, very pretty, famous, rich, powerful, with a hot body, with the blonde dumb attitude that was still a thing, I’m sure she still relies on that personality.
Thing is, times has changed, and also many men have changed.
Many men won’t waste their time like this, they might use her in bed because of her exposed libido, but she doesn’t seem to have anything else to offer.
I mean, they might benefit from her for a while, but when you deal with a “cr4zey” person for too long, you just want to escape.
Shallon HOW do your videos literally always pinpoint exactly where I am in life 😭😭😭😭thank u for your advice girl you have no idea how helpful you are to women everywhere 🥰🥰
Oh my gosh……..you are simply the best! Seriously. I’m a 64 yr old woman who has DONE THE WORK!!! You are FILLED with TRUTH!!!!!!
I love your insight Shallon but the definite bonus is your literacy and mastery of the English language! Love it so much!
I’m living for Vulnerable Shallon, it makes me like her so so much more.
Your videos inspire and motivate me SO much Shallon
❤Thank You I needed to hear this. Having survived colon cancer and now being diagnosed with lupus and 4 other autoimmune diseases my inner self has been trying to get my attention. Now I’m going to focus on me and not be the savior that everyone turns to. You are so right about it’s easier to deal with someone else instead of fixing what needs to be fixed in your life. I really appreciate your perspective and honesty. Much love and blessings to you and your family ❤
The worst part of this story is that her fans will still say that it’s other’s people fault, her entourage, her family, JT probably.
Yeah, I do think that the drugs (lithium) they gave her during the conservatorship fried her brain, though. Although Shallom has claimed Britney had a drug abuse problem so maybe she would have done it to her herself eventually ?
The sad thing is that she’ll never ask for help, cause in the past, that same help, paralyzed her😐
YES! Huge problem with that, because she, like everyone, needs a support system, but I can imagine she's way too paranoid to trust anyone
I can't imagine taking Shallon's friendship for granted, I'm going on a Shalligator trip one day to meet and thank her!
She was in a conservatorship for reason. Not saying her family did not have a vested interest; they are vile, but it’s increasingly clear her rights need to be protected at all costs. She clearly is incapable of looking after herself.
Totally. Her fans can’t see that 2 things can be true: that conservatorship was bad but she did need one.
First they put her on serious medications that were not needed to fix her mental problems (as we all have depression), then screwed her public image (I want to shave my head completely from time to time too, it’s not that deep if you are bullied by people and press) and then they got conservatorship, because they screwed her. You would’ve need a conservatorship after months on lithium and god knows what else.
@@shallonlester yeah but as I have commented it should have never been her greedy father who was in charge. Someone who has her best interests at heart would be suitable, so clearly not anyone from her trashy family. In my country, we have this law that conservators can't make real money off of conservatees. That protects conservatees from getting abused for money!
Probably the way her family and their orbiters handled the conservatorship (literally making her a slave to support all of them) and the flawed laws that allowed them to do so for 15 years is what pushes people to the other extreme, which would be denial.
I hate armchair diagnosing, but she probably suffers from a condition in which periods of mania and periods of lucidity alternate, but mental illness is not a crime, you don't take people's rights away because they're sick.
And this comes from a person whose life was literally save by my 60 pounds arse being dragged to a treatment facility in Switzerland, but I was a minor, and that's the only reason why that was legit.
I think she’ll be fine I don’t think she will end up like Elvis Presley or Aaron Carter she doesn’t seem like she uses illegal drugs she dances a lot I think she’s just sad cause she misses her old life her kids and wishes she had a happy family. Her toxic poisonous family didn’t help !!! They pimped her out
I have been watching you for years. Years. I just broke up with my boyfriend of four years. You were there for me before I got with him, during, and now after. I watched the long distance relationships videos and I didn't hear your warnings. I listened to your videos about victim mentality, and I was not only too enabling to him, but trying to "make it work" which just turned me into a control freak. He didn't care to be pushed around because it just meant he didn't have to lift a finger. I didn't realize how much of our "intimacy" was totally and utterly sexual. I felt quite objectified. It's over and I'm left here wondering, who am I when I'm not trying to please a man that doesn't respect me? It's tough but I'm ready to find myself. I went through all this when I should've listened to Shallon. Thanks for everything. This time, I'm staying on track. I don't have to do jack shit for any man if I don't want to.
The Bipolar groups I’m in on Facebook have been discussing her manic episodes. I do feel for her. My arrested development has me stuck in my preteen state or early teen state so either emotionally BSC or detached and dissociated are my defaults.
Unfortunately you can’t take people with you who don’t want to come and letting them go can be the healthiest thing to do.
What are called those bipolar groups?
I don’t think Britney Spears is a bad person she seemed like a kind hearted humble southern belle . Truthful a lot went on with Timberlake and he got a pass !! She was always being abused her family is poison I think she is lonely !!! I think she’ll be fine I don’t think she will end up like Elvis Presley or Aaron Carter she doesn’t seem like she uses illegal drugs she dances a lot I think she’s just sad cause she misses her old life her kids and wishes she had a happy family. Her toxic poisonous family didn’t help !!! They pimped her out
Love the backdrop and the dress. Spring-Shallon 💐🌺
I was waiting for you to comment on this nightmare.
The more I heal, the less I tolerate and I actually sound meaner sometimes. I was not expecting that, so I totally relate!
21:57 reminded me of a line from 13 reasons why "I've got nothing left to lose. That makes me the dangerous one." gives me chills everytime!!
Im month into drastically minimising contact with my parents, I've experienced enmeshment and parentification particularly with my mum, since I remember i felt like her 'friend' and emotional support. She was a victim of my overtly abusive and temperamental father and I've always perceived her as such until a month ago when she decided to open her heart to my dad again after divorcing him 2 years ago, he didn't change and is still abusive. When I witnessed it something clicked and I felt so much suppressed rage and just heard that inner "ENOUGH!" When I became certain about my decision i felt so relieved, this sense of freedom is only increasing and I feel like it's a new beginning in my life of fully stepping into my power and establishing boundaries.
Yes Shallon!!!
Recovering Co-dependent right here 👋🏻
And I mean - husband went to rehab and now I’m doing both individual and group therapy to change - level of co-dependency!
I went from being a people pleaser who lived in constant anxiety of not being/doing enough while literally doing too much, to now finding more balance (it’s a work in progress, to change my ways, but I’ve come far!)
I’ve made plenty of enemies since then, and while at first I felt sick to my stomach about them, with distance and time, I’ve come to respect myself and trust myself more. I’m no longer afraid to speak my mind and stand up for what I think is right, even if it inevitably means doing the opposite of pleasing certain folks :-) Speaking my mind and working on boundaries has also helped my relationships - I’m no longer resentful because I went along with whatever others wanted. I live with less stress. My whole life has changed for the better. For once, I feel like I’m really rooting for myself and caring for myself first and foremost.
Ps. The book that rocked my world and really catapulted me into this better way of being is Melody Beady’s “Co-dependent No More”. It’s the holy grail, a classic.
I now can see so clearly when others take on too much in order to please others, resulting in their mental health struggles.
I can talk about all this for hours and days, and felt compelled to share! For anyone who is wanting to become less of a people pleaser and more of a self pleaser, there are so many amazing books and resources and therapy to do so, and it’s actually easier to do than you may think!
🦋
I was a caregiver for my grandmother who suffered from dementia. As her illness got worse she was extremely verbally abusive. Being the person who is keeping her alive but also being the one who had to say no was so hard. My mother and my sisters were the only support. But my aunts would laugh when she insulted me and treated me badly. So now I am very careful to not let other peoples problems become my problem. Friends and family.
Here's a thing, I'm not aBritney stan. I'm pretty neutral. The girl obviously needs help, but not necessarily conservatorship. The conservatorship is for people who have severe mental decline, like dementia or situations where they are much more incapacitated, yes, even more than Britney is. That's not what she needs, but she certainly needs something.
Completely agree, and also, as an attorney, what the court was doing in that case was highly unethical and I think it's important to shed light on how the legal system can be misused by powerful parties. Even if you don't care about Britney, conservatorship abuse is really important for everyone to know about.
You both are absolutely right and I don’t know why this concept is so hard for people to understand! C-ships are not mental healthcare. Humans have civil rights despite America devolving into a series of angry mobs and people wanting to punish her for being mentally ill. I used to work at a state hospital where the patients who were conserved by the state had more severe psychological and developmental issues yet they received much better care correct medication and more freedoms than she had. And no one was there for a mood disorder only. What she experienced was straight up abuse that should not be repeated.
@@FishareFriendsNotFood972Also, is your pic of Orson Bean? I loved that actor. 😊
@@rinnypink Yes! I love him, he was such a kind soul and my surrogate grandpa 🙂
@@FishareFriendsNotFood972 Very cool. IRL or on film? He seemed very kind in addition to being funny.
Is it wrong to say I have been waiting for this video all weekend? 🤭
Hey everyone always remember that you deserve a sweet and loving partner in your life
So do you honey bunny!!
I'm here! Saw the notification and clicked so fast. You called it Shallon. Bask in the glory of being able to say " I told ya so!!!!!
I don’t want to talk to people doing a service just the basics, hello, that’s perfect and thank you 😂
Exactly. I will pay MORE to not be spoken to
I realize I've been the biggest Barbara the Builder. I've wasted years of my life without a single success story or a single grateful person. With my last partner, I realized I was more focused on fixing him because it was easier than fixing myself. It took me a while, but I finally wised up and left. Despite being blocked, both he and his momma are begging me to take him back. Well, that's not happening. My greatest hope is I stop falling into that pattern and fix myself.
Hi, Sephora staff member. The lights are so bright and awful because it shows up better on surveillance cameras. They redid a lot of stores last year and yeah, everything is a different color in there now.
Wow
You are the big sister I never had. Thank you with all my heart💓🙏🏽
It is soooo hard when it’s your teen/young adult child. 😢
You're right she's crazy....but I can't help but love her! I really feel like her parents, managers, bad friends used her for money. I feel like that kept her "dependent and crazy". They never wanted her to be "independent and healthy"
Why did she have to perform instead of educating herself about life, going on yoga retreats, therapy or just chilling? I just hate that her family made her work. She worked enough. God knows how many meds she had to be on to show up. That's my only issue. She should be controlled with "no work allowed unless evaluated by a doctor to be healthy enough to go public"?
Britney might still be rebelling against her parents on some subconscious level. She might not take her medication just to spite them. This is just my theory though. It could still be that Britney is just very sick and too sick to take her medication.
I freaking LOVE that my neighbour two doors up hates me 😊 because I don't take any of her shit, from day one of moving in I refused to put up with her dog dropping it's ass by my gate and her not picking it up, I put a bag over my hand picked up the pile her dog had left and threw the contents on to her doorstep, return to sender
Then her boyfriend watched my gardening most of the summer last year, I'm a 34f fit hourglass and 5ft7 and she's looks like an angry frog. So her catching him watching me was hilarious and her hate fuels me because it stems from standing my ground and refusing to have people acting like irresponsible trash around me.
My days of keeping my mouth shut for fear of being disliked are behind me, why should I be silently frustrated wasting energy, when I could be actually happy?😂
lol you’re so right about Sephora lighting. Unless you’re as made up as the ladies at the counter you don’t want to look into the light or you might think you need an IV stat 🤪
She communicates the way she did as a teenager. She never learned any different in 20 years of prison. What do you expect? …I fail to see Brittany as a predator tho.
She's not a predator but she is manipulative. And she takes zero accountability.
shallon pls make a soft girl era video! i have been so bad at being a doormat and would love to hear how your glow up matched your attitude, i have cognitive dissonance when I know i'm gorgeous, sweet, and smart but have a horrible time demanding respect and enforcing boundaries! love you smmm queen thank u!
I love but also hate when you click a Shallon Lester video thinking she's just going to go off on some celebrity, and then 10 minutes in you're forced to confront an existential truth about your own life/relationship. Fun times!
All drink and drug users are potential terminal cases. It’s incredibly painful to unhitch yourself from someone who doesn’t want your help, and also be prepared for them to throw that exact thing right in your face. Make sure you have a good friend who can support YOU when dealing with a situation such as being discussed here!!
But the bottom line is: “why do I have to hurt me to show that I love you?”
You don’t!! 🙏
I just think that Britney situation is more complicated than just dealing with a person who doesn't want to be saved, yes she is mentally ill but she was abused by people who were supossed to help her, and she can't trust people now. The trauma she went through is something noone will understand, hell not even celebrities nowadays.. the way she was chased and picked appart by the media, constantly shamed, ignored by her dad, considered not sane enough for making decisions or eating a burger yet she sane enough for working non stop. And the thing is all the world grew up feeling entitled of her life, stripping her dignity from her and today people still treat her like she belongs to them. That south park episode of her portraid it so well. Helping her is not really a concern, its about control.
Girl the whole britney cultural thing should be studied you should do a video on that! Lol it'd be interesting
Wow, I had no idea that Britney and Sam had even gotten married, and now their divorce is already finalized and she has a new boyfriend. Wtf 😂
I had the "I'm okay with being the villain" epiphany about three years ago and it was so liberating! I felt my body instantly relax the moment I said it, and I decided I wouldn't be twisting myself into knots to get approval anymore--especially ideological approval. That started a positive snowball effect which changed my life for the better. 10/10 recommend. My other favorite phrases are "Well, they're just gonna have to be mad" and "Eh, they'll get over it."
Same, I also tried to help people in my family and be patient about how they treated me cause you know they are siblings/aunts/parents etc so you have to forgive. Nope! Not anymore. It’s me, myself and I right now.
I still can't believe what's happened to her and how her life has turned out. I was 11 when she first got famous and everyone just adored her. She was perfect and her life seemed perfect. I was obsessed and wanted to be her.
Just look what was going in behind the scenes.
I think the industry really screwed her up. Idk who's enabling her crazy IG posts. 🥴 Oh btw, the blue wall looks gorgeous! 😍
In my opinion, she is a woman that deserves all the freedom in the world, including competent help for mental issues. The conservatorship did not do her any favors, because it was not instilled with good intentions. The money is gone, and the mental state is worse. She might be the craziest kook in the world, she has the right to live her life and spend her money how she sees fit. Could she die - sure, could she get better - sure. It's up to her, not TMZ.
Reminds me of my brother. Wont take any advice to improve his life because he says we are "too negative" while he is practically homeless. A lot of people judged us the main family for kicking him out because they dont know the real truth
I think Rihanna put this perfectly after she realized going back to Chris Brown wouldn’t work:
Admitting to Vanity Fair in 2015 she was "that girl" who felt she could change a man, she shared, "You realize after a while that in that situation you're the enemy. You want the best for them, but if you remind them of their failures, or if you remind them of bad moments in their life, or even if you say I'm willing to put up with something, they think less of you-because they know you don't deserve what they're going to give. And if you put up with it, maybe you are agreeing that you [deserve] this, and that's when I finally had to say, 'Uh-oh, I was stupid thinking I was built for this.' Sometimes you just have to walk away."
Shallon, why do you always refer to yourself as mean, when it’s patently obvious that you are nothing of the kind (unless everything you have ever posted online is totally fabricated and you are some other person entirely off camera!!)
I have a feeling that to have the honour of being able to call you a friend would be something to really cherish!!
I don’t know why, but I just see so much in you, extremely deep with multitudes of levels, which in my book goes towards an intrinsically fascinating individual!!
And I don’t want anything from you…just facts as I interpret them!! 🌟
When everyone was saying release her from her father's conservatorship I was on this site saying she can't handle life without someone keeping her in check and actually her dad is the only one that could ever keep her on track.
Gosh this video is so inspiring. I was over the Britney topics, but I know to never skip a Shallon video, which I'm so glad I didn't because this really freshened my perspective!
You speak such truth and wisdom! Thank you, as always.
The sephora lighting 😂 girl i just stick to skin tints. I still can't nail my undertone let alone my foundation shade. 😵
Same, I have NO idea my undertones. I’m pink so…warm? But I’m evil also so…cool?? I don’t know!
@@shallonlesterHow can I get this on a necklace? Best thing I have read today. ❤
At this point, randomly choosing a number for my foundation online has more chances of matching my skin tone than Sephora
Cool
Oh hell, in the Applebees parking lot, Shallon? 😂😂😂
WE NEED A VIDEO ON RECOVERING GOOD DAUGHTERS!
Wow I ended up crying watching this, definitely something I needed to hear but didn't want to, tnanks Shallon❤
“Malignant empathy “.
As a Mexican living in LA I found the vato/chola reference very hurtful. Been a fan of Shallon since 2018, very disappointed.
I miss the times where people weren't that easily offended as you. Let me guess you're born after the 2000s?
Lol I was born in 1990 so no and I agree with you everyone is afraid to speak now because everything has to be politically correct but this comment was extremely ignorant and disrespectful. I worked my ass off to become an engineer so it is exhausting to be minimized to a vato or chola just for having a Hispanic last name.
@@stephanievazquez3342 There is another comment here from someone else similar to you who's laughing about it. I'd do some introspection why it triggers you since it seems you shouldn't identify with it hence it shouldn't bother you.
@@JaZmine147Well, it has a whole history behind it. like the bandana they're wearing on their heads it's a nod to they're native roots (you can find pictures of Native Americans of Mexico wearing that same bandana) the word cholo has several meanings, in some places it means native or mestizo but in nahuatl is Xolotl it mean servant. when people migrated to the US from Mexico they didn't have anything so they made a subculture, it didn't used to be about being a punk, gang's or fights, it was about finding a place to belong. sadly everything gets perverted.
you're so funny 😭 SUBSCRIBED
A wise woman always tells me, “You are not a rehab for broken men.”
She always reminds me that “you promote what you permit.”
Thanks for the content. It always makes me laugh. I'm from the Deep South and it's hard for me to feel comfortable expressing myself loudly as a female. Your channel is helping me grow quite a bit. If men want us to be submissive then they need to provide. And if they can't provide, then they're the ones who need to shut up.
I've learned over the years to not help anyone unless they ask me directly. Of course, if I see someone in my physical vicinity who is in obvious danger, I'll step in. Otherwise, I just tell them of my concerns regarding their behaviour etc and if they say they are fine, I back off. But I let them know I'm available if they're ready for help.
You can't do anything about the path that someone has chosen for themselves. Forcing your help onto another only makes them hate and resent you, the relationship gets destroyed and they will still do what they want anyway. If they come to me for help and I help them and then they just spiral back or don't take my advice, I'm done with them for good. Good luck, sister, I'm not here to be your crutch or your therapist.
I had a rough go of it at my last job bc I was the only one without a husband and/or kids
Its like me and you telepathically are connected and you give advice at exact time I need it!!!!! ♥you are my favorite for so long now
She should have stuck with her ex husband. People say he's a gold digger but I think they loved each other. He was so beautiful
You aren't a "villain" - maybe the middle ground is to just introduce a positive subject with the self-destructive person. Get them "on" something else, for a few minutes. It can't hurt and it might help.
(I had to remind myself recently to not spend my time and effort trying to fix someone, so I'm right here for this. )
I don't have enemies. I have defeated foes
I read that as defeated toes
Wow the description of the burnt toast mom was dead on 😫😫😫
A really good book is codependency no more by melody beattie it’s helped me sooo much with this! Highly recommend
We’ve got to learn to accept the apology we’re never gonna get.
Shallllonnnn you look GORGEOUS
Needed to hear that Winston Churchill quote. I’ve always been a people pleaser and always the caregiver to everyone in my life but I have felt a shift in myself lately. It has made me feel like a terrible woman though. It’s tough to explain but it’s a good shift for me at this point in my life.
Question: how to not feel like a martyr when i cook, clean, work full-time and raise my babies? It’s almost impossible..
People her fans went on that her family were bad people and she should be on a conservatorship. Well look what's happened since she's not been on it married and divorced in 6 months then hooked up with a random criminal? This is just the beginning?
I fear this is absolutely the beginning
My daughter is an alcoholic...she is 26...it was so hard. It still is but i finally, finally after going to Alanon for 8 years, i have detached with love. I can be the soft place for her to land, with boundaries but i cant change her. Itnis very difficult putting yourself first. It gets easier once we do it a fee times. You are completely rigjt!
Love this video....and it made me think that having someone not accept your help/advice stings because it comes with a feeling of rejection as well. Almost as if the help you're trying to provide them isn't "good enough" for them.
I remember a while ago, my mom was (and still is) struggling with her weight. At the same time, I was getting into shape and changing my eating habits. She would call and complain to me about not fitting into her clothes or how she always felt crumbly and I would say, "Come on a hike with me" or "How about eating more vegetables" and it was always met with a shrug-off or a blunt "no" and I started to feel like my mom didn't value my advice or didn't want to spend the time with me, and I started to feel rejection. I also started to feel resentful toward her because here she was, taking up my time and emotional space, complaining about herself, but clearly didn't want to do anything about it. Then it dawned on me that, yeah, she's not going to change. She just wants to complain. That made it easier for me to understand and not take the situation as a rejection. Now, whenever she starts to complain, I just go grey-rock.
I'll give advice if it's asked for, but I won't hand it out freely.
Shallon!! saw a bumper sticker that said "live, laugh, love If that doesn't work - Load, Aim, FIRE" it reminded me of you 💅💕
I think people went too far in the Britney camp. I, like everyone else, wanted her to be free from what seemed like an oppressive and corrupt conservatorship, HOWEVER excusing her manic episodes and clear BPD for the sake of “freedom” is also NOT helpful. People wanted to find someone to blame for this, so they keep dragging Justin Timberlake down, but it’s not his fault. We’ve got to be HONEST and implement a helpful plan to actually get her the help she needs, (if they really care)
Agreed! As a member of the movement, I participated as an attorney, who just didn't want courts to use a mental health episode to completely strip women of their rights, but the members of the movement who tried to paint Britney as the most stable mother alive were misguided. She was never all that stable, but in my opinion, no one is Hollywood is. I do disagree with you on what 'we' must do though for Britney. It's not our problem anymore, and if she doesn't get help now....that's on her. We freed her from basically prison. The rest is on her, and honestly, I think the less the public pays attention to her now, the better.
She's as crazy as the rest of us but doesn't know to not share it publicly. Life just sucks. People just suck. She just doesn't know all that is usually hidden.
🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥 I’m praying for Britney