Oh hell no! I would never loan my car to anyone for their vacation. That's crazy! They shouldn't be taking vacations if they don't have the money for it. That's the reality of the situation.
You can notify your insurance company what you are doing and they can put a temporary driver on your policy. That doesn't remove all of the liability from your lap, but some liability will be assumed by the relative.
I had a co worker who borrowed her only car (a costly one) to a neighbor to see a relative. There was a really bad downpour and the water reached the car, got inside (leather seats) eventhough it was parked far from the road. She had a full cover but the insurance company gave her a hard time, didn't want to respond, saying "the motor was still working", she even had to rent a car to go to work. When they finally responded, she got herself a lesser priced car. I had an uncle that would always say, there are two things you don't borrow: your car and your wife.
Agreed. 💯💯💯 I would never impose that type of burden on someone. I would never ask in the first place. That's embarrassing. If I can't afford to rent a car, then I can't afford my vacation.
I'd feel so bad about protecting my wife, home and new baby's finances, .... that I would give them a Rolex watch, grandmas wedding ring, a bucket of KFC and kidney in case they ever needed a spare.
I had relatives (by marriage) who were just cheapskates. They would have tried to borrow a car even though they could afford to rent. But they were too cheap to fly so no problem 😂
Last year we have 3 neighbors that wanted rides to 4 different grocery stores. They would not use UBBER because they might get in an accident. They wouldn't use home delivery services, they refused to take the taxi or city bus. I called my insurance company and they said that I better not take a penny or a coffee from these 3 ladies or we become a taxi with insurance. Also, they said it is a home policy NOT a school bus policy and that once we run out of coverage they can sue us for our home and money. The rides stopped that day !!
I don't understand the brass of people who would not only ask you for a ride to the grocery store but would ask that you take them to more than one store, presumably looking for the best prices. When you say they refuse to use Uber or a taxi or a city bus and even refuse a home delivery service, it sounds to me like someone needs to impress upon them the idea that beggars can't be choosers. If they don't have a car or are unable to drive, they just might have to put aside their preferences and go with what is available and I don't think it should be you. I am an old woman (I'm pushing 80), almost totally disabled, and I live alone, and I do not ask my neighbors for rides ANYWHERE. I get my groceries through Shipt. I select my groceries online and an employee of Shipt actually does the shopping and delivers the groceries to my home and will even bring the bags into my kitchen. I have even had them offer to put my groceries away for me but I refuse this offer because I tell them if I don't put the things away I probably would have trouble finding everything when I needed it. Maybe you could suggest that they use that service. I have used Shipt for probably five years and I am very pleased with them.
@@maryannanderson2213 I told them that the liability is too much .These are users that people call narcissists. I have always been independent like you Mary. Your parents must be proud of the values they taught you. I am 65 and this has made me pay more attention to the intentions of takers in society.
Yeah, I don't think I would have helped them if that was the case. The moment it becomes and errand service and especially if repeated, the answer is "no" because you can see they plan to use you. It wouldn't even be about the gas money.
If you would actually tell your insurance company that they paid for the ride in any way then you're too honest you don't have to tell your insurance company about every little thing that you do with the vehicle that you pay to insure if you give someone a ride and they pay you for the gas or your time or trouble in any way that's between you and them keep your insurance company out of it
My husband’s 26 year old niece recently wrecked her car and asked if she could borrow our Tesla for a few weeks while she had her car fixed. She has a ton of money from an inheritance, but she opted out of rental car coverage with her insurance that her mom was paying for. I was like floored that she would ask such a thing.
your story already explained why she would ask that, that girl never had to be responsible for anything in her life including making her own $$ to support herself, you think she knows what it means to think for other ppl?
4:15 Ok, now THAT’s an important context that informs a better decision. “We’ve been saving for the coming of the baby, so we’ve been using old cars for our short commutes that are not road safe for longer trips. We recommend you get a rental.” That’s very different…
I was the go-to person for house sitting and dog sitting. My sister used me for dog sitting, which also turned into staying at her house for 3 or 4 or even up to 8 days at a time. It meant me taking time off work. Because my work schedule is 3:30a.m. to 10a m, then again, five pm to 7pm and up at two thirty to go to work, which is impossible to do when I have to deal with taking a dog out in the morning. My daughter also had me dog sitting and house sitting when she was married, and there were times I spent ten or twelve days at their house. Now she lives with her boyfriend and they have a dog. When they planned a 10 day vacation traveling out in the Midwest, Plans were not made for dog sitting ahead of time and when it got close to their vacation, then she asked if I wanted to dogsit. The issue I always had with dog sitting was that i'm taking my vacation time two spend taking care of their responsibility, and they're going on vacation. My daughter and my sister live very close to me. The dog sitting was stressful due to the fact that I also would come home in the morning. Do what I had to do at my house. Take care of my cats and my responsibilities, visit with my husband, then go back to their house to take care of what needed to be done. Then go back to visit my husband around dinner time. Hang out a little bit, grab stuff for the next day. Go back to their house. I was exhausted and stressed out by the end of it. When my sister, who is divorced, sold her home and moved in with her boyfriend, I stated my dog sitting days were over. My sister then, Not long after that, ask me to dogs it for a weekend and I told her that I would not be able to do it. A few days later, she then asked me if I could dog sit at the end of the month a different weekend so I finally had to say that II am no longer dog setting for anyone. I do not want to do it at all for anyone.Anymore. She said she understood and she was okay with it. She did pay me for dog sitting, which I very much appreciated it. As far as dog sitting for my daughter and her boyfriend, I absolutely did not want to start getting into that habit. Also, the dog belonged to her boyfriend for 2 years before she moved in. So technically, it's his dog and my thoughts were that. Shouldn't he be the one finding someone to dog sit his dog? I set my boundaries with my daughter and my sister. I felt guilty. I felt bad about that, and I felt like a mean person, but it felt good being strong enough to say no. It was freeing.
I let my buddy take my truck to go on a 3400 mile trip to drop in his ex off in their home state and tow her car all the way there. I just did brakes and rotors before he left so it would be safe, he brought it back with 4 warped rotors and some new noises. I’ll never loan a car out like that again.
I had a landlord who repeatedly asked to borrow my truck so she could pick up furniture, exercise equipment that she bought on FB Marketplace. I always said no. She was so annoying.
My son in law wasn’t comfortable with me using his car while I was there so he offered to pay for a rental.❤ Ultimately I paid for my own but I thought that was a kind offer. And we get along. Great since we both love my daughter! And now he has a soft spot in my heart as well 😊
Oh hell no... another reason my insurance is low is that I notated that I am the ONLY driver, not my wife, not my children (as they grew up), not the neighbor, no one.
I'm surprised you were able to do this. My insurance automatically added my husband and elderly mother on my policy because they assumed all licensed adults in the household had access. They wouldn't let me change anything until after my husband passed away and after my mother ended up in a nursing home temporarily.
Man, there's a reason John is a professional... I never even thought about how boundaries can cause misunderstandings on both sides that cause both sides to hate each other. His advice to get that clarification is huge. If they really are skipping the visit because they couldn't use the newborn as an excuse to go sight-seeing, then Greg and his wife can rest easy knowing they're in the right for removing those family members from their lives.
This is so true because people have a tendency to misconstrue communication. The guests can say in the future that the couple didn't care to see them, without mentioning or perhaps even remembering the underlying contingencies.
We don't let anyone else drive our cars ever. It always sounds friendly until there's an accident and they don't want to be responsible. I have paid to rent my son a car when he comes to visit because I know he can't afford it, but I wouldn't let him drive our cars.
Yes, they're going to need time to themselves. The parents will need to sleep when they can with a brand new baby. They don't need the burden of hosting houseguests.
Dr John, plz don't suggest that cut-offs are ridiculous. They can b very healthy and necessary. I was the scapegoat in a narcissistic family system. Those ppl are not going to change. My life and mental state have improved greatly since I detached. I wouldn't want ppl like me to hear you and go back to where they came from. No hate. Love your show and have learned a ton from it. Thank you!
Yes and amen. What a wonderful thing it would be to have a family that was mentally healthy enough to talk to but unfortunately, not everyone has that option.
I lent our teenager's car to a neighbor and good friend who's only car broke down and be needed a car to get to work. It was supposed to be a week but ended up being a month and a half. It came back with a full tank of gas, a fresh oil change, detail and a wash and wax. Looked better than ever. I'm not opposed to loaning people and extra car, but you have to be smart about it. And I offered, he didn't ask. I wouldn't loan mu car to these people in this circumstance.
Hard no. There is a big difference between someone borrowing my beater truck to move a couch for a couple hours, and my regular car for a whole road trip. Get a rental car, dude. If they can't afford a rental, they also can't afford my deductible if they crack mine up.
They're just going to borrow someone else's car. That's who they'll visit "for a few days". Nope, especially for a few weeks. I don't generally loan my car out anyway, nor do I borrow anyone's vehicle. I rent a car if I need one.
People just think they are entitled. I have a Jeep. I use it for camping and off roading. I put a LOT of money into upgrades. It's my hobby and it's my happy place. I had family members ask to borrow my Jeep. Nope. I told them they can rent one at many places to offroad and try out. I never heard from them again. Bye.
The extended family has known for a full 9 months this baby will be born around the holidays. They saved the money for plane tickets. But the cost of a rental car is the reason they aren't coming??? No, that's just stupid. If they have 2 weeks off from work, they can drive themselves to Texas from anywhere in the continental U.S., save the plane ticket money, and have their own vehicle to travel around in. But it's not about time or money. They are being despicable USERS and I feel so sorry for his wife because she is seeing her family for who they really are. ☹😞
This call reminded me of a difficult time when I planned to attend a funeral in upstate New York during the dead of winter, amidst a snowstorm. I intended to fly in and asked if someone could pick me up at the airport, as I hadn’t driven in snow for nearly 30 years and didn’t trust myself to navigate the icy roads in a rental car. However, I was informed there was no room for me, so I made the painful decision not to attend. It wasn’t out of selfishness or a desire to inconvenience anyone; it was simply a matter of safety, as the conditions were hazardous for anyone to be traveling. Unfortunately, some family members never forgave me for not making the trip, though my decision was made with the best intentions and genuine concern for everyone’s well-being. 😊
I had a family member who doesn’t own a car ask me to add them to my insurance temporarily so that they could rent a vehicle without paying for a wildly expensive policy from the rental company. That was a no
The question is completely out of line. Borrowing a car for a road trip is full of risks. The easiest response is to say you will check with your car insurance policy. Chances are they won’t recommend it and you can blame it on your insurance.
Liability is real and I called my insurance company and they did not like my wife driving 3 people on our street for groceries. It's a family vehicle and in all fairness a ride every 2 years for a neighbor is normal and we have UBBER and other services in our city. ALSO I have a scammer aunt that bumped her knee get a ride from my favorite uncle in the 1970's. The aunt put in 15 claims over the next year.
Clearly the parents aren't actually interested in spending time with their daughter and actually help her post-partum. Very sad and predatory. Remove the vehicle from the equation... and they suddenly "Don't want to visit" at all. That's heartbreaking.
I had a neighbor do me like that. She figured I was a stay at home mom, so I didn’t need my car since I wasn’t going anywhere when my husband was at work, with a new baby. She would ask to drive my car to work. I went for it a little bit but felt real uncomfortable bc the vehicle is in my name, my insurance, my responsibility. I had to tell her she can’t keep driving it bc of liability. She stopped talking to me.
I wish I knew if the relatives were planning to stay in their home the nights they are in town or if they were going to rent a hotel room. I might say, "I cannot loan you my car because it is so old that I don't think it could stand that sort of trip; however, you can stay with us those nights and with the money you save on a hotel room, you can pay for a rental car." If they STILL get ticked off, I would understand that they just want to use me and my conscience would be clear at telling them NO. BTW, it seems to me that if you have a newborn that would be the very worst time for you to entertain guests. Your wife will feel awful and will be operating on very little sleep and the added stress of additional people in the house is not something she needs to endure. I personally would not want to have a house full of company if I had a new baby because while I wouldn't want to get crazy about it, I don't think I would want a lot of random people around my newborn perhaps sharing who knows what kind of germs with baby. Also, with baby crying and keeping people awake all night, I would think it wouldn't be very pleasant for the visitors either. This was a good decision you made and if they choose not to come that's their call and I don't think you should feel bad about it.
I would not allow it due to liability reasons. One major accident and they could lose everything. No way would I take that risk unless I was in a financially secure way with umbrella insurance. There is also a risk they could drink and drive. This family is not in a position to do this.
@@mtbokor1969the presence of auto insurance doesn’t mean unlimited protection. If the person has state minimum liability, a small accident can exceed those coverages. With the average cost of a new vehicle, a lot of of people are dangerously underinsured. Lot more to think about than just that.
@@TheSonyExperience INSURANCE NEVER means unlimited protection. You are a moron if you only keep minimum insurance on a vehicle. Lending it out is the least of your worries. How does buying a new vehicle equate to ppl taking minimum insurance?
@@mtbokor1969 Hey " Jack " my 25 year old neighbor wanted weekly trips to grocery stores to save money and an UBBER could get her killed ?? So, if we kept doing these rides and she gets into an accident with 2 million coverage with her becoming a vegetable after an accident I was told the Government would sue us for millions more after the 2 million runs out. 16 years old's think they shouldn't worry about getting pregnant..... because they are young and dumb ! " Adults look at liability and consequences and we don't gamble with safety or our finances because we are not gamblers.
@@mtbokor1969 we agree, but that doesn’t matter. They have one car over 200K and one that is probably relatively recent above 100K. The most common liability covered by Americans is 25K/50k/50k. With those cars, the 200K is most likely liability only. So the point is, most people know auto insurance protects people with permission to drive it. It doesn’t negate OPs comment about your still putting risk to your family, because accident claims vary tremendously. I’m an accident only involving the family members against maybe a stationary object could total the car. That car may only be worth $5K. They don’t have $5K to drop on a new car by the man’s comments. So it’s quite shortsighted to just think ohh the insurance will handled it.
Please don't do this. I let my longtime (now ex) boyfriend's buddies borrow my car to do an errand and it came back with almost no gas and my seats repositioned and some things gone. They never gave me any money and I'm scared to think what they were driving to and/did while in it.
This is so familiar and nothing to do with a car. I’ve lived abroad for decades. Some cities, only my parents ever visited. More attractive tourist destinations, third cousins of friends of friends of friends suddenly wanted to see me. Funny how few came when I said I could not host them and suggested affordable hotels. Hold your boundaries.
I had a situation once that was slyly done but didn't involve money or cars. Mental manipulation is just that. It is so sickening and sad that friends or relatives make a demand that then turns into further manipulation! Tell the parents to rent a car, period and don't let them guilt trip you.
My wife’s mother & father in law borrowed my pickup to take their camper on a trip. Their pickup was in the shop. They were gone for 4 days. We got a call from them. My father in law said there home and if I want this piece of crap back you need to come & pick it up. Because he’s not driving it nowhere.
What if they borrowed one of the cars for 2 weeks and something happens to the car left with you? You wouldn't have a backup and be home with a newborn! That was just rude to ask and even ruder to cancel because of it.
This makes me sad. My mom flew to the US from Ireland just to cook and clean and mind my toddler when I had my second baby. She would come no matter what!
Good for you saying no to these lame cheapskates This was a shameless request to basically have you foot the bill for their free vacation. Absoeffinglutely not😂
We borrowed my father and mother in laws vehicles often. They insisted we take them. This was when we were younger. They had newer, more trustworthy vehicles back then.
I would have said sure to most of my family … but if you said no and they got sour and entitled about it , then I would never back down on that position just because of their response
The kind of person who would insist on such an imposition is just bad news all around. I am positive that regret would follow. I wouldn't even want them overnight in my home.
My brother asked me to borrow my car to go to New York for the weekend (3 hours away). The same day I got my car back, the transmission went out....... Don't be dumb like me
This reminds me of my brother. He lives out of state and only comes home 2-3 times a year. He always expects someone to pick him up a the airport 1.5 hours away and then borrow a car for the week. Even though he makes great money and could easily afford the rental. My mom finally said something about it last year and he just threatened to not visit anymore. 🤦😡
Greg lives in Houston. It's not as though they're in Austin or San Angelo where it's a bit more of a central area. Houston is tucked away on the Gulf Coast. What if your car breaks down 500 miles from Houston? How are you going to get it fixed and get it back to Houston? Shame on her parents for wanting you to chip in for their vacation.
As someone who lives in Rhode Island and has relatives in Texas, I feel called out! lol!! But, you're right. You can drive most anywhere in RI in an hour. But, DFW to El Paso is a looooooong drive!!
Something they didn’t bring up,is the issue of liability in case of an accident. If somebody who’s not on the insurance policy gets into an accident, the insurance company would weasel out of coverage because, generally, insurance companies are in the business if denying coverage moren than of erring it.
4:50 I saw a video where an American asked how close a city in the united kingdom was to England from London was amazed because it was an entirely different country however only 2.5 hours away. Makes you realize how massive the us is compared to other countries
Don't let anyone who is not on your car insurance policy drive your car. It's a liability issue. Your insurance company might not cover you if they are in an accident in your car. Also, they might sue you if they are in an accident.
I drive a truck for a living. No one drives any of my vehicles. Not even my old man. I wouldn't let my old man take my pickup to the store, I'll lend out sugar and eggs, not mt vehicles.
I look at it like this... it's a liability issue. Only person/people I would let borrow my car is the 1) person that can crash my car and I take the loss with the expectation that they won't pay me back(only my dad falls under that category as I would personally drive my mom around for the most part). 2) If I know they are rich enough financially well enough to pay me off in cash immediately if they crash my car.... Even so if they crash into someone and there are personal injuries involved it falls on you!
Nope I have been there done that it doesn’t work very manipulative. But how about they go to one of the other peoples house and borrow their car and come see you
I consider myself a generous person but I draw the line when it comes to my car. What if they get in an accident? I started a new job years ago and a woman was asking me to drive her home regularly because we lived close. If i get in an iaccident, she would be suing me because she doesnt have money. People should get their own car. It puts the other person in a bad situation. Im not trying to be mean.
My wife's nephew comes out to ski every year and use our Sequoia for a week of skiing and last year chose to go to a resort that is 65 miles away rather that the local one 20 miles away and racked up over 1000 miles on it, gotta stop
i have allowed my brother to drive my car when he flies in to visit but he pays for gas and has to bring it back every day, but own 2 cars no car notes and he let me use his car when he was a otr trucker for a year. If gonna visit family besides me in my car imma go with him cause i wanna see family to.
They can rent a vehicle. I have a family member who has extra vehicles. When I go see them next spring I will be renting a vehicle. Anything can happen and I am not even going to be asking her if it is ok.
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I had family fly in and use my car. But this was for a few days. And they certainly didn’t expect it from us! Two weeks is a long time. With a baby on the way, and not sure if it’s your only vehicle. And going around road-tripping for two weeks opens you up for a lot more risk of an accident. I understand if they couldn’t afford it. But how much gas would they be using for two weeks? They could just rent a car with that money anyway. Surely they wouldn’t send you the gas bills on top.
I worked in medical billing for personal injury cases (90% of which are auto accidents) do not let anyone guilt you into lending your car
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Oh hell no! I would never loan my car to anyone for their vacation. That's crazy! They shouldn't be taking vacations if they don't have the money for it. That's the reality of the situation.
Amen
Not to mention the insurance issues. If they get in a wreck, it’s on YOUR insurance. Not the borrower’s
You can notify your insurance company what you are doing and they can put a temporary driver on your policy. That doesn't remove all of the liability from your lap, but some liability will be assumed by the relative.
That depends on the state sometimes it’s the driver, regardless of who the owner of the vehicle is.
Insurance not gonna cover your guests.
Correct and the insurance premiums would go up after the wreck.
I had a co worker who borrowed her only car (a costly one) to a neighbor to see a relative. There was a really bad downpour and the water reached the car, got inside (leather seats) eventhough it was parked far from the road. She had a full cover but the insurance company gave her a hard time, didn't want to respond, saying "the motor was still working", she even had to rent a car to go to work. When they finally responded, she got herself a lesser priced car. I had an uncle that would always say, there are two things you don't borrow: your car and your wife.
If they can’t afford a rental car, they can’t afford their desired vacation. Very weird, manipulative, bold behavior.
It is really pushy. I would never ask something like that of someone. I would be embarrassed.
It will eventually create resentment
Agreed. 💯💯💯
I would never impose that type of burden on someone. I would never ask in the first place. That's embarrassing. If I can't afford to rent a car, then I can't afford my vacation.
I can't IMAGINE myself even ASKING such!
I know what you mean. I would be embarrassed to ask something like that of anyone.
If they damage the vehicle, they can't afford to fix or replace it.
I'd feel so bad about protecting my wife, home and new baby's finances, .... that I would give them a Rolex watch, grandmas wedding ring, a bucket of KFC and kidney in case they ever needed a spare.
And I bet they won't be that appreciative anyway!
I had relatives (by marriage) who were just cheapskates. They would have tried to borrow a car even though they could afford to rent. But they were too cheap to fly so no problem 😂
Most people hate boundaries!!!
Family & neighbors & as soon as you say NO they get pissed!
No way. That’s so unfair for family to even ask that!!!
Last year we have 3 neighbors that wanted rides to 4 different grocery stores. They would not use UBBER because they might get in an accident. They wouldn't use home delivery services, they refused to take the taxi or city bus. I called my insurance company and they said that I better not take a penny or a coffee from these 3 ladies or we become a taxi with insurance. Also, they said it is a home policy NOT a school bus policy and that once we run out of coverage they can sue us for our home and money.
The rides stopped that day !!
I don't understand the brass of people who would not only ask you for a ride to the grocery store but would ask that you take them to more than one store, presumably looking for the best prices.
When you say they refuse to use Uber or a taxi or a city bus and even refuse a home delivery service, it sounds to me like someone needs to impress upon them the idea that beggars can't be choosers. If they don't have a car or are unable to drive, they just might have to put aside their preferences and go with what is available and I don't think it should be you.
I am an old woman (I'm pushing 80), almost totally disabled, and I live alone, and I do not ask my neighbors for rides ANYWHERE. I get my groceries through Shipt. I select my groceries online and an employee of Shipt actually does the shopping and delivers the groceries to my home and will even bring the bags into my kitchen. I have even had them offer to put my groceries away for me but I refuse this offer because I tell them if I don't put the things away I probably would have trouble finding everything when I needed it. Maybe you could suggest that they use that service. I have used Shipt for probably five years and I am very pleased with them.
@@maryannanderson2213 I told them that the liability is too much .These are users that people call narcissists.
I have always been independent like you Mary. Your parents must be proud of the values they taught you. I am 65 and this has made me pay more attention to the intentions of takers in society.
Yeah, I don't think I would have helped them if that was the case. The moment it becomes and errand service and especially if repeated, the answer is "no" because you can see they plan to use you. It wouldn't even be about the gas money.
If you would actually tell your insurance company that they paid for the ride in any way then you're too honest you don't have to tell your insurance company about every little thing that you do with the vehicle that you pay to insure if you give someone a ride and they pay you for the gas or your time or trouble in any way that's between you and them keep your insurance company out of it
Greg dodged a bullet. He doesn't need this type of family visiting while they have a newborn. They would be an extra burden on them
“Give them a path back.” That is so mature: humbling.
My husband’s 26 year old niece recently wrecked her car and asked if she could borrow our Tesla for a few weeks while she had her car fixed. She has a ton of money from an inheritance, but she opted out of rental car coverage with her insurance that her mom was paying for. I was like floored that she would ask such a thing.
If she's good looking I might let her borrow my car. 😂
your story already explained why she would ask that, that girl never had to be responsible for anything in her life including making her own $$ to support herself, you think she knows what it means to think for other ppl?
sounds like a Teaching opportunity
Well now, it is just a Tesla after all....😆Unbelievable!
I haven’t even watched the video yet and I’m screaming HELL NO!
Another example of how family just love taking advantage of you and using you.
People think everyone is operating from the same definition of love. We are not. Define it. Some people's definition is CLEARLY: Let me do whatever.
Exactly
4:15 Ok, now THAT’s an important context that informs a better decision. “We’ve been saving for the coming of the baby, so we’ve been using old cars for our short commutes that are not road safe for longer trips. We recommend you get a rental.” That’s very different…
I was the go-to person for house sitting and dog sitting. My sister used me for dog sitting, which also turned into staying at her house for 3 or 4 or even up to 8 days at a time. It meant me taking time off work. Because my work schedule is 3:30a.m. to 10a m, then again, five pm to 7pm and up at two thirty to go to work, which is impossible to do when I have to deal with taking a dog out in the morning. My daughter also had me dog sitting and house sitting when she was married, and there were times I spent ten or twelve days at their house. Now she lives with her boyfriend and they have a dog. When they planned a 10 day vacation traveling out in the Midwest, Plans were not made for dog sitting ahead of time and when it got close to their vacation, then she asked if I wanted to dogsit. The issue I always had with dog sitting was that i'm taking my vacation time two spend taking care of their responsibility, and they're going on vacation. My daughter and my sister live very close to me. The dog sitting was stressful due to the fact that I also would come home in the morning. Do what I had to do at my house. Take care of my cats and my responsibilities, visit with my husband, then go back to their house to take care of what needed to be done. Then go back to visit my husband around dinner time. Hang out a little bit, grab stuff for the next day. Go back to their house. I was exhausted and stressed out by the end of it. When my sister, who is divorced, sold her home and moved in with her boyfriend, I stated my dog sitting days were over. My sister then, Not long after that, ask me to dogs it for a weekend and I told her that I would not be able to do it. A few days later, she then asked me if I could dog sit at the end of the month a different weekend so I finally had to say that II am no longer dog setting for anyone. I do not want to do it at all for anyone.Anymore. She said she understood and she was okay with it. She did pay me for dog sitting, which I very much appreciated it. As far as dog sitting for my daughter and her boyfriend, I absolutely did not want to start getting into that habit. Also, the dog belonged to her boyfriend for 2 years before she moved in. So technically, it's his dog and my thoughts were that. Shouldn't he be the one finding someone to dog sit his dog? I set my boundaries with my daughter and my sister. I felt guilty. I felt bad about that, and I felt like a mean person, but it felt good being strong enough to say no. It was freeing.
NO. I had folks tried to treat me like a car rental. Repairs were all mine. NO
I let my buddy take my truck to go on a 3400 mile trip to drop in his ex off in their home state and tow her car all the way there. I just did brakes and rotors before he left so it would be safe, he brought it back with 4 warped rotors and some new noises. I’ll never loan a car out like that again.
I had a landlord who repeatedly asked to borrow my truck so she could pick up furniture, exercise equipment that she bought on FB Marketplace. I always said no. She was so annoying.
Tell her to go walk around the neighborhood and to go easy on the Big Macs. She'll lose weight with no need of equipment.
My son in law wasn’t comfortable with me using his car while I was there so he offered to pay for a rental.❤
Ultimately I paid for my own but I thought that was a kind offer. And we get along. Great since we both love my daughter!
And now he has a soft spot in my heart as well 😊
Relatives like that are selfish and entitled. Direct them to Google for hotels, restaurants and car rentals.
Oh hell no... another reason my insurance is low is that I notated that I am the ONLY driver, not my wife, not my children (as they grew up), not the neighbor, no one.
I'm surprised you were able to do this. My insurance automatically added my husband and elderly mother on my policy because they assumed all licensed adults in the household had access. They wouldn't let me change anything until after my husband passed away and after my mother ended up in a nursing home temporarily.
Man, there's a reason John is a professional... I never even thought about how boundaries can cause misunderstandings on both sides that cause both sides to hate each other. His advice to get that clarification is huge. If they really are skipping the visit because they couldn't use the newborn as an excuse to go sight-seeing, then Greg and his wife can rest easy knowing they're in the right for removing those family members from their lives.
This is so true because people have a tendency to misconstrue communication. The guests can say in the future that the couple didn't care to see them, without mentioning or perhaps even remembering the underlying contingencies.
We don't let anyone else drive our cars ever. It always sounds friendly until there's an accident and they don't want to be responsible. I have paid to rent my son a car when he comes to visit because I know he can't afford it, but I wouldn't let him drive our cars.
If a baby is due, I'm sure you don't want company anyway.
My first thought
Yes, they're going to need time to themselves. The parents will need to sleep when they can with a brand new baby. They don't need the burden of hosting houseguests.
Dr John, plz don't suggest that cut-offs are ridiculous. They can b very healthy and necessary. I was the scapegoat in a narcissistic family system. Those ppl are not going to change. My life and mental state have improved greatly since I detached. I wouldn't want ppl like me to hear you and go back to where they came from.
No hate. Love your show and have learned a ton from it. Thank you!
Yes and amen. What a wonderful thing it would be to have a family that was mentally healthy enough to talk to but unfortunately, not everyone has that option.
Absolutely not! For all the reason discussed! And why do so many people put so much emphasis on the holiday season, those relatives can visit anytime
Why would they expect to put all the miles on your car as opposed to a rental car? Some families just don’t get it.!
@toddmacdowall4924 -- Crazy that relatives would ask to borrow someone car for two weeks driving around Texas, of all states.
I lent our teenager's car to a neighbor and good friend who's only car broke down and be needed a car to get to work. It was supposed to be a week but ended up being a month and a half. It came back with a full tank of gas, a fresh oil change, detail and a wash and wax. Looked better than ever. I'm not opposed to loaning people and extra car, but you have to be smart about it. And I offered, he didn't ask. I wouldn't loan mu car to these people in this circumstance.
Hard no. There is a big difference between someone borrowing my beater truck to move a couch for a couple hours, and my regular car for a whole road trip. Get a rental car, dude. If they can't afford a rental, they also can't afford my deductible if they crack mine up.
They're just going to borrow someone else's car. That's who they'll visit "for a few days". Nope, especially for a few weeks. I don't generally loan my car out anyway, nor do I borrow anyone's vehicle.
I rent a car if I need one.
If someone borrows my car I assume they're going to bring it back and something will be wrong with it and I'm stuck with the bill, so it's a hard no.
Some people just find it hard to say no to favors because the ones asking make them feel guilty.
People just think they are entitled. I have a Jeep. I use it for camping and off roading. I put a LOT of money into upgrades. It's my hobby and it's my happy place. I had family members ask to borrow my Jeep. Nope. I told them they can rent one at many places to offroad and try out. I never heard from them again. Bye.
I'll see them next time. Have a great trip.
What could Possibly Go Wrong!!!
Car accident totalling the car. Them blaming you and suing you.
😂😂
😂😂😂
“No worries if not” and then they’re upset when not 😂
Great point!
They should fly to another family member and borrowed their car to drive to you. Perfect you set boundaries!! Congrats on the new baby Greg.
The extended family has known for a full 9 months this baby will be born around the holidays. They saved the money for plane tickets. But the cost of a rental car is the reason they aren't coming??? No, that's just stupid. If they have 2 weeks off from work, they can drive themselves to Texas from anywhere in the continental U.S., save the plane ticket money, and have their own vehicle to travel around in. But it's not about time or money. They are being despicable USERS and I feel so sorry for his wife because she is seeing her family for who they really are. ☹😞
This call reminded me of a difficult time when I planned to attend a funeral in upstate New York during the dead of winter, amidst a snowstorm. I intended to fly in and asked if someone could pick me up at the airport, as I hadn’t driven in snow for nearly 30 years and didn’t trust myself to navigate the icy roads in a rental car. However, I was informed there was no room for me, so I made the painful decision not to attend. It wasn’t out of selfishness or a desire to inconvenience anyone; it was simply a matter of safety, as the conditions were hazardous for anyone to be traveling. Unfortunately, some family members never forgave me for not making the trip, though my decision was made with the best intentions and genuine concern for everyone’s well-being. 😊
I had a family member who doesn’t own a car ask me to add them to my insurance temporarily so that they could rent a vehicle without paying for a wildly expensive policy from the rental company. That was a no
Tell the family members to get auto insurance as a driver only. I don't own a car but do carry insurance to drive a rental or any car.
What could go wrong? 😂
@@AccidentalHiker1Very good idea that I was not aware of!
The question is completely out of line. Borrowing a car for a road trip is full of risks. The easiest response is to say you will check with your car insurance policy. Chances are they won’t recommend it and you can blame it on your insurance.
Liability is real and I called my insurance company and they did not like my wife driving 3 people on our street for groceries. It's a family vehicle and in all fairness a ride every 2 years for a neighbor is normal and we have UBBER and other services in our city.
ALSO I have a scammer aunt that bumped her knee get a ride from my favorite uncle in the 1970's. The aunt put in 15 claims over the next year.
They never should have asked
Yep. To me it’s a sign to never include them in anything from there on.
Clearly the parents aren't actually interested in spending time with their daughter and actually help her post-partum.
Very sad and predatory. Remove the vehicle from the equation... and they suddenly "Don't want to visit" at all. That's heartbreaking.
They can get a rental car!!
Avis, Hertz!
I had a neighbor do me like that. She figured I was a stay at home mom, so I didn’t need my car since I wasn’t going anywhere when my husband was at work, with a new baby. She would ask to drive my car to work. I went for it a little bit but felt real uncomfortable bc the vehicle is in my name, my insurance, my responsibility. I had to tell her she can’t keep driving it bc of liability. She stopped talking to me.
The best outcome was when she stopped talking to you. No one needs a conditional friend
Perfect! She stopped talking to you, so she won't be for any more favors.
I wish I knew if the relatives were planning to stay in their home the nights they are in town or if they were going to rent a hotel room. I might say, "I cannot loan you my car because it is so old that I don't think it could stand that sort of trip; however, you can stay with us those nights and with the money you save on a hotel room, you can pay for a rental car." If they STILL get ticked off, I would understand that they just want to use me and my conscience would be clear at telling them NO.
BTW, it seems to me that if you have a newborn that would be the very worst time for you to entertain guests. Your wife will feel awful and will be operating on very little sleep and the added stress of additional people in the house is not something she needs to endure. I personally would not want to have a house full of company if I had a new baby because while I wouldn't want to get crazy about it, I don't think I would want a lot of random people around my newborn perhaps sharing who knows what kind of germs with baby. Also, with baby crying and keeping people awake all night, I would think it wouldn't be very pleasant for the visitors either. This was a good decision you made and if they choose not to come that's their call and I don't think you should feel bad about it.
I would not allow it due to liability reasons. One major accident and they could lose everything. No way would I take that risk unless I was in a financially secure way with umbrella insurance. There is also a risk they could drink and drive. This family is not in a position to do this.
You have auto insurance to protect you against liability of someone else driving your car
@@mtbokor1969the presence of auto insurance doesn’t mean unlimited protection. If the person has state minimum liability, a small accident can exceed those coverages. With the average cost of a new vehicle, a lot of of people are dangerously underinsured. Lot more to think about than just that.
@@TheSonyExperience INSURANCE NEVER means unlimited protection. You are a moron if you only keep minimum insurance on a vehicle. Lending it out is the least of your worries. How does buying a new vehicle equate to ppl taking minimum insurance?
@@mtbokor1969 Hey " Jack " my 25 year old neighbor wanted weekly trips to grocery stores to save money and an UBBER could get her killed ?? So, if we kept doing these rides and she gets into an accident with 2 million coverage with her becoming a vegetable after an accident I was told the Government would sue us for millions more after the 2 million runs out.
16 years old's think they shouldn't worry about getting pregnant..... because they are young and dumb ! " Adults look at liability and consequences and we don't gamble with safety or our finances because we are not gamblers.
@@mtbokor1969 we agree, but that doesn’t matter. They have one car over 200K and one that is probably relatively recent above 100K. The most common liability covered by Americans is 25K/50k/50k. With those cars, the 200K is most likely liability only. So the point is, most people know auto insurance protects people with permission to drive it. It doesn’t negate OPs comment about your still putting risk to your family, because accident claims vary tremendously. I’m an accident only involving the family members against maybe a stationary object could total the car. That car may only be worth $5K. They don’t have $5K to drop on a new car by the man’s comments. So it’s quite shortsighted to just think ohh the insurance will handled it.
Please don't do this. I let my longtime (now ex) boyfriend's buddies borrow my car to do an errand and it came back with almost no gas and my seats repositioned and some things gone. They never gave me any money and I'm scared to think what they were driving to and/did while in it.
Unfortunately, you can’t pick your family folks
No No No. Bet they'll use it and be ungrateful. If they crash your car or mess up the interior, etc. bet they won't fix it.
This is so familiar and nothing to do with a car. I’ve lived abroad for decades. Some cities, only my parents ever visited. More attractive tourist destinations, third cousins of friends of friends of friends suddenly wanted to see me. Funny how few came when I said I could not host them and suggested affordable hotels. Hold your boundaries.
I had a situation once that was slyly done but didn't involve money or cars. Mental manipulation is just that. It is so sickening and sad that friends or relatives make a demand that then turns into further manipulation! Tell the parents to rent a car, period and don't let them guilt trip you.
My wife’s mother & father in law borrowed my pickup to take their camper on a trip. Their pickup was in the shop. They were gone for 4 days. We got a call from them. My father in law said there home and if I want this piece of crap back you need to come & pick it up. Because he’s not driving it nowhere.
" JUDGE JUDY " : " No good deed ,......goes unpunished. "
😲
What if they borrowed one of the cars for 2 weeks and something happens to the car left with you? You wouldn't have a backup and be home with a newborn! That was just rude to ask and even ruder to cancel because of it.
Their family sounds awfully stressful. I would absolutely wait till after the baby was born and settled in
Depends on the family members and relationship. My siblings or parents no questions asked.
Nah. Maybe around town for the day. Not a 2 week road trip
This makes me sad. My mom flew to the US from Ireland just to cook and clean and mind my toddler when I had my second baby. She would come no matter what!
Good for you saying no to these lame cheapskates
This was a shameless request to basically have you foot the bill for their free vacation. Absoeffinglutely not😂
We borrowed my father and mother in laws vehicles often. They insisted we take them. This was when we were younger. They had newer, more trustworthy vehicles back then.
I would have said sure to most of my family … but if you said no and they got sour and entitled about it , then I would never back down on that position just because of their response
Exactly... that response would destroy any chance for a future possibility of a yes
The kind of person who would insist on such an imposition is just bad news all around. I am positive that regret would follow. I wouldn't even want them overnight in my home.
My brother asked me to borrow my car to go to New York for the weekend (3 hours away). The same day I got my car back, the transmission went out....... Don't be dumb like me
Cheap people don’t need to vacation on some other expense! Set boundaries to these cheap family members!!
Cars cost way too much. No one drives my car
Learned the hard way.
Yeah my car is only insured for my use.
Not even you drive your car? You said no one. 😂
@@BREEZYM6015 🤡
@BEEZYM6015 😂😂 that's a good one 😅
This reminds me of my brother. He lives out of state and only comes home 2-3 times a year. He always expects someone to pick him up a the airport 1.5 hours away and then borrow a car for the week. Even though he makes great money and could easily afford the rental. My mom finally said something about it last year and he just threatened to not visit anymore. 🤦😡
Win-win, am I right?
Text ? Email ?
Buh bye😂
@@peacepharvin7799
Yeah I would just tell him to just text or email instead with a threat like that.
It's nice when your family picks you up from the airport.
Of course he can rent a car.
My answer would be NO!! They can rent a car or not go.
Greg lives in Houston. It's not as though they're in Austin or San Angelo where it's a bit more of a central area. Houston is tucked away on the Gulf Coast. What if your car breaks down 500 miles from Houston? How are you going to get it fixed and get it back to Houston? Shame on her parents for wanting you to chip in for their vacation.
I forgot about the caller living in Houston. These relatives might be going as far as Dallas. That's a heckva drive.
@@lovethemflowers Lubbock.
We have a family rule that we never loan out our vehicles.
Very nervy request, then they threaten you. Be glad they are not coming to visit.
This is a big No!!!
They need to flat out say due to my wife being due we need to have both vehicles in case we need it if something were to happen
NEVER enable your friends or family. It's not loving.
As someone who lives in Rhode Island and has relatives in Texas, I feel called out! lol!! But, you're right. You can drive most anywhere in RI in an hour. But, DFW to El Paso is a looooooong drive!!
Something they didn’t bring up,is the issue of liability in case of an accident. If somebody who’s not on the insurance policy gets into an accident, the insurance company would weasel out of coverage because, generally, insurance companies are in the business if denying coverage moren than of erring it.
4:50 I saw a video where an American asked how close a city in the united kingdom was to England from London was amazed because it was an entirely different country however only 2.5 hours away. Makes you realize how massive the us is compared to other countries
Tell them No. you have a baby coming. It’s selfish of them, not you.
No. Don't let them "borrow" the car.
Point them at a beater to buy for the 2 weeks and then they can resell it.
"Greg, is your car in a safe place?"
🤣
Don't let anyone who is not on your car insurance policy drive your car. It's a liability issue. Your insurance company might not cover you if they are in an accident in your car. Also, they might sue you if they are in an accident.
I drive a truck for a living. No one drives any of my vehicles. Not even my old man. I wouldn't let my old man take my pickup to the store, I'll lend out sugar and eggs, not mt vehicles.
I look at it like this... it's a liability issue. Only person/people I would let borrow my car is the 1) person that can crash my car and I take the loss with the expectation that they won't pay me back(only my dad falls under that category as I would personally drive my mom around for the most part). 2) If I know they are rich enough financially well enough to pay me off in cash immediately if they crash my car.... Even so if they crash into someone and there are personal injuries involved it falls on you!
Depends on the situation. If I had a extra car laying around sure you can barrow it (especially if it's an older car) but I don't.
Plus, two weeks, even with the inlaws traveling part of the time...WAY TOO LONG when you have a newborn!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nope, get a rental
Nope I have been there done that it doesn’t work very manipulative. But how about they go to one of the other peoples house and borrow their car and come see you
LOL LOL
No car sharing unless it's an absolute emergency.
I consider myself a generous person but I draw the line when it comes to my car. What if they get in an accident? I started a new job years ago and a woman was asking me to drive her home regularly because we lived close. If i get in an iaccident, she would be suing me because she doesnt have money. People should get their own car. It puts the other person in a bad situation. Im not trying to be mean.
My wife's nephew comes out to ski every year and use our Sequoia for a week of skiing and last year chose to go to a resort that is 65 miles away rather that the local one 20 miles away and racked up over 1000 miles on it, gotta stop
i have allowed my brother to drive my car when he flies in to visit but he pays for gas and has to bring it back every day, but own 2 cars no car notes and he let me use his car when he was a otr trucker for a year. If gonna visit family besides me in my car imma go with him cause i wanna see family to.
They can rent a vehicle.
I have a family member who has extra vehicles. When I go see them next spring I will be renting a vehicle. Anything can happen and I am not even going to be asking her if it is ok.
I did it once. Gave them a car with a full tank. When I got it back. 1/4 tank. Takers take.
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I load my pickup out and it was wrecked, so don't loan your vehicle
Everybody's different but I wouldn't even think to ask this of anybody!! I would barely ask to go to the grocery store let alone a tour of TEXAS!!SMH
If this is how they behave, you may have saved your other relatives from their unreasonable demands as well.
@rebekah.2187 -- Hadn't thought about that. Might have done OTHER family members a favor.
We asked those distant family, friends to come near the family home, and met up there. Borrow a car for part of days. Staying near family!
Don’t lend your car to anyone. It’s a problem if and when an accident happens.
I had family fly in and use my car. But this was for a few days. And they certainly didn’t expect it from us! Two weeks is a long time. With a baby on the way, and not sure if it’s your only vehicle. And going around road-tripping for two weeks opens you up for a lot more risk of an accident. I understand if they couldn’t afford it. But how much gas would they be using for two weeks? They could just rent a car with that money anyway. Surely they wouldn’t send you the gas bills on top.
Your videos are always so colorful and fun! Thank you for your sincerity and talent in creating funny content!🚘🌒🦌