My Wife Went Behind My Back! (You'll Want To Watch Until The End)
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- Опубликовано: 3 мар 2022
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The biggest problem I have is this guy left his newborn infant and a toddler over a motor vehicle.
and over 5k - which they could have paid down in 2 months maximum. And he will misrepresent his wife and his actions on the radio. This was about HIS power to not "allow" her to buy the car she wanted, which cost measly 5k more (and it is measly compared to the debt they paid down in the previous year).
He left before the car discussion. Shes a mama bear protecting her little cubs
He was gone before he left 😢
Not over a motor vehicle, over her breaking her word. It goes deeper.
That conversation didn’t go as well as he thinks it did
He had the balls to call in and conveniently leave out the fact that he had already left her. Wow.
He needed to feel justified in what he did
@@theirmom4723 exactly what I was gonna day. He weaponized Dave's teachings against her and then asked him if what he did was right to justify his guilt.
@@theirmom4723 Amen! This kind of people are ugliest.
@Obsidian No. He left her by, you know, leaving. She did not leave him. She should've never done that, but she didn't actually leave. Also, he sounds like he just didn't want any real compromise. Why was he arguing about what kind of car when he was probably barely going to be there. He sounds like he was barely there and you have to wonder if that was part of the point of the job even if he wouldn't say that.
Nah he left after the call, she is making this stuff as she goes along with the financial infidelity, so he left later, it's pretty obvious.
I was a "married single mom". People at school and in the community had no idea I was married because my former husband was never around. He wouldn't EVER pick the children up from school, even when I injured my leg - in the winter - in Canada. It was no fun.
Single now and happy. 17:04
Better to be alone than with someone who makes you feel alone.
That man is an arsehole 😂...thus he will never be short of women going after him 😅.
@@LindaMeade
Not for the children, statistically.
When a spouse and/ or parent says “I help where I can,” my senses are heightened. Don’t help where you can, be an equal contributing participant!!
EXACTLY
@@Noone73902 totally agree!!!
I agree. My husband works a lot and would never say that. He is all hands on deck whenever he’s home. He doesn’t try to help. He does help!
I appreciate the mentality of “equal contributing” however broken down into reality of life, it is NEVER always an equal contributions. There are going to be seasons of life where one is down, be it health reasons, going back to school, etc. During these seasons, there must be agreement and understanding, but above all loving respect for one another. My personal example is early on as we were growing our family, my husband very much was a strong partner in every way, including domestic household chores. We made it through the years of young kids because we had each other’s back. Now almost thirty years later together, he has a bad back injury, and struggles daily with pain. I completely understand his limitations and do not mind having less of his physical health around the house. Life brings us all through different seasons of life. It is a wonderful thing to have people in your life who are compassionate and understanding. Let’s be less focused on selfishness and be a blessing to those we are so fortunate to have in our lives.
I took it that he helped out when he was home. Kinda hard to help much around the home or with kids when you are out working and gone all week
So glad they played the follow up, I had a gut feeling the guy was a weasel and wasn’t telling the full story. I’m glad she heard the call and emailed in!
That's definitely the vibe I got.
She wasn't any better than him
She probably heard it b/c, he insisted...you know he was strutting around like peacock in full plume
At least 50%of OTR truckers are just pretending be married ..it legitimizes them and gives them an excuse to not set up house with any other women..(if he already isn't living a secret life somewhere on the other side of the country)..
She just as bad as him
"I'll try and be brief" lays out whole life.
If I ever needed to call Dave (I'm in the UK, so i doubt I could call in), I'd be brief and concise.
These people that beat around the bush are so annoying.
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💬📞👆thanks for watching
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Do or do not, there is no try. Lol
It's always a bad sign when they lead with "I'll be brief."
Husband had no empathy for his wife, and like Dave said, he weaponized the Ramsey financial advice.
We don't know that, that's what she said. But what we do know is she made a major purchase without agreement - that shows no empathy for her husband.
@@ppumpkin3282 You may be right. On the other hand, she is stressed out of her mind, feeling like she has no control over her life. She gets a brief moment of freedom from her parents, than gets married. Kids come. Has to deal with a control freak. I know, I was that guy, worked all the time. Controlled everything. Eventually, realizing the dam was about to break, thought, might be easier and cheaper to relinquish some control. Changed my life. Within less than 10 years of her working, she made way more income than me. Wanted me to take the early retirement option so she could accept a promotion. Was needed in order for me to take care of our youngest. So far so good. Maybe I was lucky.
He also doesn’t seem to want to work things out with his wife. Just punish her for her mistakes. He sounds like a control freak
@@kaitlinb361 she may have made a mistake, but eventually you break. Not sure it was a mistake or a normal human reaction.
The new baby isn't his ....I bet lol
It seems like an overreaction. I could understand if she took 5k and blew on something that wasn't a need. This isn't a betrayal. If pride is removed, it seems that she made an executive decision that helps her carry the literal load she has right now.
I agree. She wasn't acting like a child. She was thrown under the bus twice. Used car prices are crazy high. An additional $5000 for a car is maybe just buying something relatively reliable. If a wife and mother ever needed to be supported and cared for it is certainly right before giving birth. A daunting process even if it happens multiple times a day everywhere. Poor woman. I wish her the best...and a better husband, ideally the same one but improved! 🙏
@@mwilson1223 She already has her own debt on student loans and collections. Bad idea.
Yes! Who leaves over $5000 - he was gone before he left 😢
He’s an absent father with a control issues and she a married single hormonal pregnant woman who is scared.
married single
She feels like a married single mom, therefore that is how she's acting. She's also working two jobs while being pregnant and caring for a toddler. She is absolutely overwhelmed and looking to find something to make her happy/reward herself for everything she is doing. It's either that or become depressed/resentful. This could also be her way of avoiding arguing with her husband about how much time be spends away from home, thereby making herself appear ungrateful.
Why is she working two jobs while her husband is making bank as a truck driver?
@@randymorrison1761 gazelle intense to get out of debt
It seems She’s working the steps at the expense of her sanity! Or she was until she purchased the van.
I just don't think a truck driver and a woman working two full-times jobs should be having more children, really. They are overworked and underpaid as it is. Maybe they need to sell their house and get something more affordable. How can she work full-time with a newborn with him on the road?
Per usual. Living in a first world country still talking about "feelings" . This is why it's so easy selling to women .. completely irrational decisions.
Sounds like he wanted an excuse to leave his wife, kids, and all the work and responsibility.
EXACTLY !!!!
Sounds like he feels betrayed to me. Who knows how she feels. Reality is they both or entitled to how they feel In the moment. And they are entitled to whatever action they take. But as a relationship is a team effort and trust is everything… without trust there’s not much hope. Without hope is misery and misery is suffering. No HAS to suffer even when actively suffering
Wrong. He made a mistake marrying a single mother. Huge mistake. She wants help not a husband. She lied and went behind his back and Dave is making all kinds of excuses for behavior. She’s awful and just felt like she’s married now she can spend money she doesn’t have. Horrible.
@@dcg590 She was not a single mother when she married him
He had already left.
Definitely a marriage problem, not a financial problem. They are not a team, they are against each other and that is not going to work
She’s working two jobs. Maybe he isn’t listening to her. You cannot drive a broken down junker when you have babies, you must have dependable transportation.
Agree. Your wife is doing alot to keep the family ok so do you really want to put her in that situation and get into a bigger mess by having her return the car😬
Yes. A $2,000 car sounds like what they can afford, but how dependable would that be?
Older car needs more investing in to maintnace..
He didn’t indicate the car was a broken down junker. He said it was tight on space.
Let’s be real, a lot of this calls we’re not getting half the story, and it’s usually someone trying to paint themselves as a saint. Don’t believe Instagram, people. Everyone is suffering behind the scenes.
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@@viawhatsapp2525I have reported you as fraud. I hope you go to jail soon 🙂
Ain't that the truth. This need for people to paint themselves as saints or "winning" is more and more ridiculous. I have a friend who goes all over the country with a sports network she works the major sporting events and post on IG daily, when I spoke with her, she said that her world is in confusion and crazy. I told her that it looks like she's been doing well for herself. Her response: It's just pictures.
@@juancarrillo1270 Same
Why is it crazy to assume that someone misbehaved in a marriage? People make dumb marriage mistakes all the time. You make it sound like he painted her out to be a demon with no redeeming qualities. THEN I would be skeptical cos why would anyone marry someone that's a monster?
wow cant believe the turn this segment took towards the end. I have to say some of these calls with families having spousal issues, it will be a good to hear from both sides rather than just one caller.
A good counselor can read between the lines.
in the words of my wise grandmother, " there's no pancake so flat that there's not two sides to it."
The inherent issue with calls like this one is that there's always another side to the story. Good on Dave for (a) trying to see it from the wife's point of view during the original call and (b) doing the follow-up segment after the wife e-mailed the show.
I agree, the problem is if it had been a woman calling in about her husband, he probably would have called the guy a wuss, said he should “man up,” and not sought to hear his side of the story. There are tons of examples of this double standard throughout the channel.
@@superblump87 Just search the channel for "my husband" and see how many times he asks for the husband's perspective. Find one example.
@@superblump87 nah Dave for sure is like that. I somewhat agree with him in the sense that the man simply is the captain of his ship at all times. But the way he quickly goes about putting the guy down with very little information is definitely off putting to many guys. I think he should be a bit more neutral but then he wouldn't have an entertaining show would he?
Then you don't know Dave Ramsey
@@volcomsocom He literally called her crazy. The only reason her side came out is because she emailed them. Get over yourself.
Buying the van was a good idea. After a divorce she will probably not qualify for a loan and she needs a safe vehicle for the babies .
Update: They came back and did their Debt Free Scream together. Dave didn’t remember them, but I sure did!
Me too! Just can’t remember which program has their debt free scream on.
I think Dave is right. She is feeling like a single mom trying to do what she needs
She lied and her husband can't trust her. Not right whatever her feelings are.
Wrong. She’s a pos single mother looking for help not a husband. He made a huge mistake marrying her. She’s not ‘doing what she needs’ she’s a liar and thinks because she’s married now she can spend money. Dave is off on this one. She’s ungrateful and disrespectful
While recieveing her husband's paycheck. I guarantee his income is paying the bills. Her income was being used as a way to get through baby step two.
I takes two people to get pregnant so he needs to support her. The kids need grown up parents.😊
@@johnfreeman9766that’s true but he delayed way too much the decision even when she was close to have the baby and he travels a lot, leaving her alone to deal with the house and kids.
I knew something was up when the husband said his "wife" has student loans and she has old charge off bills. He didn't say "we have student loans".
Because "they" don't lol
She bought the van to show him that he doesn’t control her even though he might believe he’s entitled to that power.
She bought the van to make him angry, not to prove she wasn't under his control. She could have done that without going further into debt. She said she likes the idea of debt for a vehicle but he didn't, but that wasn't the main argument. She just wanted a different, reliable vehicle. Instead, she decided to pump up their debt too.
Ah, so in your world its ok to make a major purchase without your spouse's agreement.
Well I don't agree with everything he is doing. But according to scripture he does have the power and authority.
She probably wanted the van fir the kids. Nice, safe and comfortable
I’m ioo
Dave's story at the end was the best advice from the whole video... You want to win in marriage. It's not either or, it's how do we accomplish both of our goals.
I hope he reads my comment. You can return a car within three days, BY LAW. Make her return it NOW!
@@charlesg7926 he moved out, didn't u hear? How may u leave pregnant wife few days before a birth? She needs to have at least driving car, and that's what she got. Will pay off debt later, but if something happens to her or newborn? She was a mama bear, needed a transportation cause she may not rely on him. He left!!! Or I did not hear well?!
Broken people equal broken relationships
She wasn't selfish. Her husband didn't care if she and their children had safe, reliable transportation. He is ok with her working full time and doing the bulk of the work around the house and with the kids. She did what she had to do and she's probably better off without him.
I agree, he moved out and she is expecting baby, she thought I'll get what I can in the moment, reliable or any car(since we don't know if she had driving car) is a priority right now for single mom.
@Margaret O They're still a married couple. He's a trucker so he's away from home most of the time.
@@medusa8019 that's not what she wrote, he packed and moved?!
I think she will fair far better as a single mom. He sure is no help but just another child.
@@carolswitzer5451 -nope, no one wants a single Mom!
From experience, because I’m
A truck driver, HE NEEDS TO COME OFF THE ROAD ASAP. That’s just the beginning, if he don’t come off the road, divorce will come in the future
Yep I know the feeling. I had to get out of the Navy to save our marriage. That was 17 years ago. Still going strong after 30 years.
@@KP-hi1om heh
He had already left her when he called in, he just failed to mention that part.
Love Dave, when the show came back and had the wife side. I was like Worldstar!!!! 😂😂
this is a perfect example of how you need to hear all sides of the story from both or all people involved before passing judgement.
What would her side be? "Uh, I DIDN'T do the thing he said I did."
@@luminous6969 he conveniently forgot to tell them that he left his pregnant wife.
@@rayn1ful That could be a lie. People lie. She had to save face so she had motivation to make something up to make him the bad guy instead of her. I'm guessing that they're both lying about parts of the story and like Dave said they're a hot mess.
We don't know if either was telling the truth, but both agree she made a major purchase without agreement. The best way is to get them on the phone together. Dr. Laura doesn't this a lot, she gets the other person on the phone. She's also good at sniffing out bullcrap.
If only both political parties and the US understood this
Lol calls like this make me never ever wanna get married 🤢
Good idea!
Don’t
I bet he had planned to leave and didn't want to create any new debt because he wanted to be free. It's easier to start again with no debt. This is not about a vehicle. Why leave a pregnant wife because she bought a vehicle to transport his children. It's dis honoring but could've been solved with dialogue.
I agree. He left and took all his things. No way this wasn’t planned. He was justifying his abandonment and painting himself as the saint.
But clearly the dialogue is not being heard between both parties. But pulling out the home before the birth of their 2nd child, that's rough
@@sweetesthoneybee Or he’s had enough of her bringing in more debt as he struggles to pay it off? Loans in collections is very telling of her history with money. If the genders were reversed Dave would tell the woman she’d be better off without her man child husband and people would agree. Babies don’t hold marriages together.
Men plan for the future, so many women make emotional decisions. It makes no sense at all
He should dump her.
When I hear stories like this it makes me never want to get married and continue to be financially successful on my own and make every darn decision on my own.
I love how Dave sees below the surface and knows what's really going on! Amazing! Divine discernment!
"When she won, I won!" I love it!!!
He packed up and moved out over a $10K vehicle loan? Sounds like he's looking for an excuse to get out of the marriage.
Right? Just pay it off and talk about never doing that again.
I would just let it go. You can’t even get a divorce for $5k, plus the spouses of truckers have to do a lot of things on their own. My mom buys cars all the time, my dad doesn’t want to mess with it when he gets off the road
He left because she lied. Writing a 5 paragraph justification tells me (from experience) that this isnt the first time.
Lol, yea because all spouses occasionally go off and spend thousands without talking about it with the other spouse it's no big deal 😂, My boy is getting a divorce because his wife cheated I'm going to use this logic and advice he lets it go the guy probably just put the tip in....
@@maryfields877 Or realize later that it was one of the best decisions she made buying that car for "HER" family. I wonder how many tattoos HE has gotten without consulting her. Those arent cheap!
There's always two sides to every story. Ramsey Solutions should do more of these follow-ups, and entice the other half to call in and give their side of the story.
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what other side of the story could there be to someone making a purchase? the purchase was made and it was out of budget. Not sure what other side you're expecting.
Lol your insane, she got car fever and led with her emotions and betrayed her husband's trust
Let’s be honest, both Dave Ramsey and our biased society itself, never wants the man to give his side of the story. If he does, he’s told that he’s complaining; a sissy; etc… Women are basically a privileged class
I own a company and my wife also owns a woman owned company, that is very publicly woman owned. Customers treat her so much nicer and they give her so much more leeway about everything. Whereas when my company does a perfect job, people aren’t even grateful, they just expect it. If she does a perfect job they shower her with gifts and five star reviews and compliments, it’s funny how that works
I’m happy that her company is doing great though. Because we both benefit from any money either company makes. I’m just saying society is kind of unfair. It really sucks for unmarried men, thank Godddd that I’m happily married and my wife is smart and hustles like I do
I love how candid and real Dave is. At first I thought he was this guy who was just good with money but it's cool that he shares that his marriage wasn't always rainbows and butterflies and that he was once in debt and other real life things. He doesn't sugar coat things but he's still kind.
… and just a couple of days ago, this couple was doing their debt free scream on the debt free stage. So glad this story has a happy ending.
Do you have a link for it?
Cool! I'm glad they were able to work out the manipulation and control problems.
This VERY couple? They resolved their issues and got out of debt together? Get out...
He never should have went back on the road before getting her in a new car. He is just abandoning her and those kids and going about his life.
She knew what she was getting into. If I were them I would try and figure out another way to get that 5K balanced out. Something else has to give.
As an otr driver, a lot of times drivers are only home for 34 hours. If they talked about it, that might have not been enough time to find what they were looking for. He went back to work because he had to. Don't be so quick to judge.
Listen all to the end. Husband left her and left info out. I know she’s pregnant but I’ve been there - nobody with just two kids needs a van. Just a reliable 4-door car.
We have one kid. We had a Caravan and an Expedition. Overkill I know but we never lacked for room.
Maybe she c. U cked him? 🧐
We didn't buy a van until our third child. Two children usually fit well in a regular sedan. No problem buying larger, if it fits in the budget.
@@eurekahope5310 Keeps mother in laws away too!! we don't have room for you to go with us lol
@@forgotmylogininfo this is the real answer!
Also I love her for responding tho. He is mad that he will probably have to pay that extra debt in the divorce settlement smh.
It's so frustrating that men have been buying cars for generations without consulting with their wives, but if a wife who works full time and is doing all the childcare buys a car for herself she's viewed as insane or stupid. Buying a safe car to transport your babies around is not selfish. It's not like she went out and bought an expensive sports car like so many men do when they have a mid-life crisis. It sounds like she tried to get her husband's approval many times, but he refused, so she had to do what was best for her and her kids.
So to fix a problem is to do what is wrong just because of history? referring to your opener, that sounds like a spoiled child. I may not disagree with the analysis or overall picture. Some men did something somewhere at sometime so now I can do X. weak answer.
They were on the same page and then she did something they didn't agree on. It's not about what a man does vs what a woman does. This is about a husband and his wife.
This is actually stupid.
I agree with you, even though it stings. You're right
It’s the fact that they had agreed on something, and she turned around and went against what they had agreed upon. Stop making this about gender. It’s a humanity thing.
your videos keep me on track Dave in the day to day. Working on becoming debt free and I am running like a cheetah! Thank you!
Listening to him talk, I'm so glad this is not my husband. Geesh, And then has the audacity to call a show. Wow he's a piece of work
The husband said they already had an suv to begin with and had one kid and were expecting a second kid and were trying to pay off their debts. If they thought putting two car seats in an suv was “tight”, they should have tried squeezing them in a two-door car! At any rate, finding a larger vehicle without taking on more debt proved difficult and the husband obviously didn’t see it as imperative. The wife felt disrespected because he just left the situation unresolved so she disrespected him back and resolved it. His moving out was to punish her.
I think he was taking about a crossover (like an Escape) and it's genuinely difficult to get two rear facing car seats in one of those and still fit yourself between the seat and steering wheel.
💯
You're right. I've been there...many times.
Exactly 💯
Thanks for doing an update (or both sides to a call). Great video!
This episode is a prime example of why financial advice is subordinated to relational matters. If the marriage is busted then balancing a budget is the least of the problems. You have to be a marriage counselor first then financial advisor second.
Yep, the way I would describe calls like this is: the financial issues are only a symptom of the real problem
She's not feeling loved and he's not feeling respected way before this van purchase. This is a crazy cycle that ended badly, and still can be fixed even if they keep the van, if they get on the same page and deal with their emotions.
If I was pregnant and my husband walked out on me, I wouldn't want counseling. That would signal the end of the marriage in my mind. She's no saint, and they both let it go too far before they sought outside help. But the marriage is over.
Sounds like you read and are quoting from the book "Love & Respect". Good read.
@@deborahdebaccoweddle2420 Or she read Cracking the Communication Code written by the same author. Both books great read
Exactly. Women need love, men need respect
Just wait until he has to pay child support and possibly alimony and have to take the kids on the road with him every other week! He’s had it easy! He wouldn’t help her get a vehicle and she was running out of time before the baby arrives!
True That! Say it louder for the husband's in the back.
Why would he owe child support and alimony if he takes the kids every other week (50/50 custody)? Sounds pretty discriminatory.
He will have to get a new job. 🙂
@@brahtrumpwonbigly7309 how is he going to have the kids every other week when he's on the road
That’s what I thought.
She was not selfish, she was thinking of having a more suitable car for her children as her husband wanted to control her choice. In the end she made a choice. She works two jobs, she will be able to pay the car off with or without him in the future.
I think she was overwhelmed by his talking and him explaining how things were going to go. She probably can’t get a word in edge wise cause he never shuts up long for someone else to say something. This guy is in love with himself and his own voice.
BINGO
He has no realistic view of himself at all. Narcissist and Mama's boy husband. 🍼 😭
I agree. My husband is just like this.
@@BluebonnetShelley Why are you still with him then? Lol
@@BluebonnetShelley are you in danger?
George coming in with the finisher of "They've got a child on the way, and right now they're being children".
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No she’s being a child. She’s the one going behind her husbands back.
Hey! We are still driving our 2000 Astro with 313k miles on it. I am driving the grandkids around in it now. It is the GiGi mobile!! It’s paid off and gets from point a to point B. And we’re loving life!!
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Thank you for this video along with the followup. I hope this couple gets the help they need to save their marriage. My heart breaks for their children! 💔
I doubt that this will end up well.....the distrust and the throwing the other under the bus on national radio is hard to accept.....poor children ....
They sound like kids
It was easy to see he was on the road and his wife was handling everything. He didn't need a different vehicle she did. So really wasn't a problem for him.
He was only thinking about himself not thinking from her perspective he's not around to tow it around the kids and make everything accessible for kids and for her with her shopping taking her babies with her he wasn't thinking about her at all. I'm on her side I think he's so selfish person that's what I think.
@@sherylmohn6334 I carted around two children in a compact sedan until I was pregnant with child number three. I didn't mind because it financially made sense. Unless the car is unsafe, getting a large vehicle is a luxury for a family of four, not a necessity.
@@eurekahope5310 A lot of people like throwing money around for their "needs", but it usually turns out they think they "need" what everybody else has, not what is necessary.
@@eurekahope5310 and did you also run the house alone and hold a full job ? Sure she could somehow have managed, but he was not willing to let her have the more practical vehicle that cost 5k more. But she is working fulltime and they paid down a LOT of debt in the year before. The 5k more would have been settled within 2 months.
If the car breaks down, if loading the car is tiresome - she cannot call him, he is on the road. And she cannot say to him, stay with the kids and I drive to the grocery store (or the other way round). She either needs a babysitter (which is also a hassle, never mind the money OR that the kids are already in daycare) - or she needs to do those things WITH the babies in tow.
an unpractical car gets a nuisance pretty soon. And it is not like they were in financial trouble because of that extra cost. Not with their household income.
If you are about to be foreclosed, then you have to make do with what you got.
@@brahtrumpwonbigly7309 The car is a tool to handle everyday life and if 5k can make it easier on her, that is a justified need. it is not like they were in financial trouble or like she asked him to "bend" the principles all the time. We also do not know that she ever agreed to religiously ! follow the DR principles. She certainly was a good sport and supported her husband. Who btw massively violated the principles himself when running off with 50 % of the emergency fund.
It was his control and him telling her what car - in his opinion - she was getting. Never mind the good income, never mind her wishes or her contribution to that household income.
I appreciate Dave's desire to see both sides & understand the whole situation.
The root cause to any divorce is selfishness. Thats a tough disease to cure since it takes a willingness to look at your own self & accept there are things in yourself that need adjustment. Been there experienced that & now single after 38yrs of marriage thx to the damage done by continual selfishness. It is fixable but requires work. Most selfish people arent interested in work sadly.
I don't blame her at all for wanting something reliable when she has two small children, including a newborn, and her husband, who is already gone all the time, is actually leaving her. And how DARE he take part of the emergency fund when she is a pregnant, soon to be single mom...
Right.. like a pure idiot. We know the numbers, the kids are doined
Reliable doesn't always mean brand new.
You should blame her! They both wrong
I think they’re both handeling the situation extremely poorly I feel so bad for her but dropping 10k and putting yourself in debt isn’t very smart either I hope she pulls through and hey babies are okay
How dare she be a sneaky snake and go behind the back of someone she claims to love. You can look at it from multiple angles.
One of the reason I will never take a job that will take me far off from my family : Marriage is difficult to manage when both partners are around, worse off when one is on the road. Good for him the family is very young, he need to get back home and win the trust of the wife or else its going to get worse with time.
We just downsized our van to subcompact suv with two kids. It’s so much smaller and it’s hard to get used to but we are loving it so far! We’re also loving the no payments!
The only time the size has become an issue is when we go camping…but we figure it out and make it work. You don’t HAVE to have a larger car!
I’m guessing she actually NEEDED the van, with the third child (new baby) coming in a week! And $10,000 isn’t crazy, especially when you don’t have another way to tote all of your kids safely around. It isn’t just about her safety here. It’s three little babies AND her.
I remember back in the day, people would pack six kids and the luggage in a station wagon and go half way across the country, no seat belts or baby seats.
She needs to sue him for child support since he wants to be so grown
My first thought upon hearing that he took half of the emergency fund - is that he's getting ready to file for divorce....
I will never understand how people think they have more say than the other. A marriage is a bond of unity. If you want to be in complete control stay single. I respect and need my Wife's say on what WE do for our household. If we don't work together, our family/household will fail!
Sadly, I don't have this.
Amen!
You’re a soy
I think he needs to communicate better with his wife. The wife is right... it is not worth destroying your marriage over a $5K increase in a vehicle purchase. You can't cry about spilled milk. But my rule of thumb is don't buy a new vehicle (or used) unless you have cash on hand. I also think Dave's advice is bad advice... which is sell the van back to the dealership for a $5k loss and then buy something for $10K less ($15K plus the $5k loss). It is not like she purchased a vehicle for twice the price... it is $5K more.
Yeah I agree with you. Sometimes you have to live with your mistakes. You make good money. Hustle and grind to pay off the van in less than a year.
I think I've only heard him say this when the loan is a high percentage of their income. i.e they have a 30k loan on 30k income.
@@KP-hi1om That is just it... the husband thinks they don't make enough money. And to me life is not about paying debts, it is about saving and investing and changing your family tree.
There's too much justification for bad decisions on both there parts. The phone call to Dave was once again trying to justify what he had already chosen to do and maybe even to embarrass her as well because things were already put in place he had already left so this really wasn't fair to Dave in the crew. So much deception manipulation and justification
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Sounds like you manipulated yourself into believing her side of the story.
Dave is right on the money, she is just feels emotionally abandoned.
This is one of my favourite episodes! I've watched it about 4 times now. 😂😂
He used (twisted) your advice as an excuse to leave
Taking half their money ? Suspect there is another woman
Definitely can see where she come from (married single mom). Been there. The follow up email was great. Her side of the story cleared up a few things.
That's one thing I learned from Dave was about financial infidelity. My ex would do this fairly regularly. The final straw was when he railroaded me on the use of a large loan we got for our business. I am happy to be the only one making choices on my money now.
The same as you, my ex-husband was a spendaholic. I now have peace and money, something I would never have had had he not divorced me. You never what is around the corner.
If you allow someone to railroad you, then you allowed someone to railroad you.
@@ppumpkin3282 well I guess he tried but I didn't allow it, to be exact.
WOW, what great advice from Dave on this ...
I’ll never understand why people think adding another child to a broken marriage is going to fix things. Babies are wonderful but they require so much time, energy and money. Maybe she thought he would take a job at home if she had another baby. She challenged his manhood and he packed up his marbles and left. Yeah we need more real men like him, not.
manhood ????
are you ill
Maybe having a second baby wasn't sone big manipulative plan on her part. Maybe it wasn't a plan at all even...these things do happen. Ask both my kids...2 kinds of birth control...We plan, G-d laughs.
He may have already moved out when he made that call or was planning to behind her back. I probably wouldn't buy a car if your relationship is already rocky. Maybe that's why he was upset. It wasn't that she bought it, but she bought it and I'm trying to exit this relationship.
@RUclips VeterinarianYou do know you can be a local truck driver or psbly he had another career b4 driving truck.
@@TWLogik that adds new perspective to it. He didn’t want to spend much money.
Look, I don’t see how someone can be 39 weeks along with a toddler working full-time with expectations to keep working full time with a spouse gone most of the time. Her pressure valve became the car. I don’t think this is a “he’s responsible with debt and she isn’t” since they’ve paid off a huge chunk already. Recommit, listen and respect each other, and agree to never act unilaterally moving forward.
I’m about to have my 3rd and I work full time. My husband is gone a ton with work too.
@@vchafab That is not ideal
Lord have mercy working full time while heavily pregnant. Maybe we should marry men who can actually afford to take care of us or we be wiser with reproducing/ timing
@@vchafab and are you proud of that? Happy?
I am here for the part two/follow-up episodes. More, please!
He doesn’t sound controlling at all, he sounds frustrated. I was married to someone who on a daily basis would have “financial commitment” conversations with me and turn around and blow the doors off the entire budget. There are people who just don’t give a rip.
I guess you didn’t listen to the end like the title says to. He is very controlling and manipulative on top of all that
@@DrzKing09 He did manipulate by saying he would not agree to anything but they still could not afford the car regardless. Lots of kids and stuff to lug around is what some people may say are reasons to go into more debt. There should have been more of a compromise.
I'm thinking you aren't very intuitive. He sounded 100 percent like he is controlling and talks down to her.
Agreed. I divorced mine.
Most females are adult children
What a puke leaving his wife who is ready to give birth to his 2nd child. Seems like she needs to find a real man.
Had to get my fiancé in a larger vehicle this past year before our second came along. It’s a very stressful situation as it is, but you have to work together and get things done. We came up with a number we could afford and she told me to find her something and that she trusted my decisions. Sometimes you lead, and sometimes you follow.
Well technically, you shouldn't combine finances until marriage. The data shows that it could be very costly to the marriage
@@benjamintantalo9576 They are already doing things backwards, with kids they might as well combine finances.
Once you have kids that’s when you know your woman is committed to you. Men always lead as much as you can as long as you have common sense, otherwise she loses attraction to you over time.
@@BlowitAllUp lol suuuure buddy, cause single motherhood isnt at an all time high 😒
@@FlutterSwag Yeah western women are very untrustworthy but it’s still your child so it’s not as bad to support it. Every new father should get a paternity test though.
Can't believe the amount of ppl supporting this woman
Such good insight on the situation
The husband being gone all the time forced her to have to think like a single mom. And, he did what he wanted, not what was best for the family. She could not count on him. And, she was right.
I'm the only one in my family who doesn't have a kid and every time I get asked when I'll have a kid, I say I'm not ready. I don't even know if I want kids. I am not married yet so that's a conversation for down the road. I never want to make my future wife ever feel backed into a corner. I try to learn from other peoples mistakes because learning from my own is muuuch harder. Straight up.
People ask you when you’re gonna have a kid when they know you aren’t married? Lol that’s weird
Take a chill pill Dave. $5000 more on debt when you’re needing room in the car for another kid? Seriously. That said, she shouldn’t have done this without her husband being on board.
She’s the one who’s going to haul the kids and all the paraphernalia around in that car.
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It's not the 10k. It's the trust It's the mindset people. Behavior is the hardest thing to change people. That's 99% of most people's problems.
I'm confused about the reason why he was ARGUING with her about the car she would be driving? AND if he moved out, then why is he giving his opinion again? I'm so confused...
edit: Now learning their income, the $10K vehicle she wanted isn't unreasonable from a purely financial point of view... DONT AGREE with her going off doing her own thing BUT the husband sounds like a gaslighting control freak... humble opinion.
Yes!
Communication is key, despite the necessity. Poor communication will destroy your relationship,
I wonder if she was “nesting”. I have six children and have done some crazy things in the nesting phase of pregnancy. It doesn’t excuse what she did and it may be part of the motivation.
SIX
We had a two toned burgundy Astro mini van back in the early 90's!
Dave Ramsey you're awesome and very wise!!!!
It sounds like she was nesting. This is a highly emotional period of time where a mom is in preparation mode for a new baby. On top of that she was backed into a corner. Where her husband was not working with her to solve her situation, she made a emotionally driven decision to solve it. I get it. It would be better for them to plan something big like this as a team, so it’s sad they didn’t. Where they make 135k he really should just buck it up, keep the car for their kids, and pay it off in the next month or two before moving on to their other debts. Marriage counseling probably would really help them too.
Ya I’m 5 minutes in and to me I’m getting the impression that he might be a bit of a cheap a$$ control freak. It’s $5000. If they make that much they can afford it.
I hear so many of these excuses for women that choose terrible behavior over everything else and then justify it because they know tons of people they don't even know will come running to the rescue, like you just did.
@@faradaysage15 I get your point. I don’t really feel like I am siding with her though, just being understanding of her situation. I really think it’s important to be on the same page as a spouse and compromise with them until there’s a good solution for the family. It didn’t sound like either the husband or wife in this scenario did that very well.
As a mom of six I totally agree
Yes def men don’t get it at all
It was his idea to get a new vehicle…he brought it up???
She sounds an overwhelmed single mom.
George Kamel’s intellect and rationalization is waaay beyond his years.. I wish i have friends that thinks and speak like him haha!
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HUH? He appears to parrot the baby steps and try to be Dave - and is sorely LACKING In wisdom or experience. He's a nice young man who tries, but he is very inexperienced and it shows continuously.
What I tell my husband when he has an impulse to make a big expense that I dint agree with is "look if you go down I go down and I and your children will suffer the consequences so lets analyze this. A lot of the times is not that I am against his wishes but I realized that he is being impulsive and not thinking about all the ramifications of his decision.
The dude sounded like a saint. Always gotta hear both sides of the story.
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I had an ex that went behind my back as well... both financially and relationship wise.... good times
There is definitely a breach of trust no matter what each person feels.
I can't even imagine going behind my husband's back and making a big financial decision like that. Wow.
*nods humbly* that means that you were raised correctly with a sense of respect for the word " team" which is precisely what a real marriage.....should be.
Cheers to ya
Right??
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I couldn't understand this either. Obviously there was more to the story, but still, getting mad and trying to get back at him by going 5k more into debt is just a horrible idea.
@@brahtrumpwonbigly7309 HeLpLiNe📞💬👆.
I personally would not want to be married to an over the road truck driver, to me that’s not making a life with anyone. Plus you never know what they’re doing when they’re not with you and yeah I know that sounds like a trust issue but one should always be aware of that.
She should have a big say in what she is actually going to be driving because she is going to be the driver of it and she is also holding down the fort which you’re not doing, This relationship is going sideways.
I can see why she bought the van I think she knew that he was going to leave so she might as well get a loan out while she can still use his name on the loan because she doesn’t work and have the money so that’s why that happened
She worked full time - and they paid down a LOT of debt in the year before. the 5k that the other vehicle cost more they could have paid down in 1 - 2 months.
“You’ll sit on a rusted five gallon bucket in the driver’s seat if I don’t agree on what to buy.” I’m so sorry for you lady and being a single Mom of two is going to be hard, but it’s going to be better than what you’re living now.
This guy sounds just like Tom Mabe. Thought this was gonna be a prank call for a minute there. Lol!!!
“I’m gonna keep this brief..”. *sigh*……