My Husband Has Given Me an Unrealistic Ultimatum!
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- Опубликовано: 25 май 2020
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Has given*
Give financial advice not marriage advice, or change the name of the show. Dude kept prying in the woman's business that she didn't want to talk about.🤡🤡🤡
Mr. Ramsey and Dr. John, the advice you give these wives doesn't sound remotely close to the biblical model for marriage. You sow the seeds of enmity in the heart of the wife towards her husband and you undermine the husband by not supporting the authority he has in the biblical model for marriage. If your advice is meant to be secular you need to let the callers and your audience know that is your position.
VernonU your living in the wrong century man
That would make this the Jerry Springer show not the Dave Ramsey show😂
I wish you had a segment "where are they now" and tells everyone what happened to these people a year on from the phone call!
Yes I'd love to get an update in a year.
Yes....that would be great to know what the results were!
Yes that would be sooo good
This is excellent idea! I often wonder 'where are they now'.
You don’t want to know.
If my husband told me he’s leaving with or without me my soul would be crushed with the realization that he just doesn’t love me the same.
BUT, you might come to the realization that you are better off without him.
@@lindap.p.1337 that doesn’t erase the majority of a decade you have spent building your life with another person. Totally, do what’s right but we only get so many decades. Realizing the love of your life doesn’t feel the same is crushing, there’s no getting around that.
@@abbiemarie19 if the feeling isn't mutual than it means that person was never the love of your life. People forget that they can feel strongly for someone, but they can always move on and feel even deeper for someone who feels the same. When they find that, all of that time with someone else completely erases
I really want to hear the husband's side of the story
You already have, he's sick of his wants being completely ignored and everything being about her. You can tell by the way she answers.
He doesn't want to be with her anymore ..
In a lot of these relationship/marriage questions, I wish we heard both sides. I understand why we can't. But the truth is usually somewhere between the two stories.
Maybe he just wants to give up on city life. Maybe he wants to re gear their lives. She clearly wants a big job. I also would lo e to hear his side!
It does not matter he wants out.
My next door neighbor gave a similar ultimatum to his wife. She didn't want to move because she had a close-knit family here. It turned out that he had a mistress waiting for him in the new location.
That was my thought, too. He already has her replacement lined up. I don't know how she could miss that ice cold "invitation," but he clearly expects her to get the message.
My soon to be ex was dumb about his ultimatum. He told me specifically he wanted to California to be with his girlfriend and if I didn't come he would let the house foreclose (we have a kid so I'd end up stuck if we moved too). I just flat told him, go ahead and bye. (He changed his mind because she dumped him and was shocked I wasn't changing my mind about the divorce) 🙄
@@jessicaolson490 good choice. Keep the faith in yourself & life.
Good for him.
@David Kopp a husband should not commit adultery.
As important as money is in a marriage, respect and communication comes first
Real wisdom right here 👍
True. Respect and communication lead to everything else.
Agreed, but he probably had it saying it 50 million times...lol
@@pkal244 💯💯💯
I'm a big fan of the show. I've NEVER seen this anywhere else. This is extremely illustrative for anyone, whether you are in a relationship or not.
Emotionally, he's already gone.
@kaz z LOL
You are RIGHT.
Spiritually, they are in hibernation.
two words - sexless marriage
She's a feminist. What do you expect?
She will hear this call a year later and cry. . She doesn’t even realize how bad it is . She is in her head
oh.. man.. I felt this.
She doesn’t want t9 leave her job... in a male-dominated field. It is likely she has a “work husband”. This is all hinged on her job. No one is attached to a job, they are attached to the people they work with.
@@katiejon17 I disagree. Some people have careers they love that are male dominated. Engineering, finance, etc.
@@73cidalia clearly my point was not that some people have careers in male-dominant fields that they love, but rather that she is choosing this specific job and location (not relocating and getting new employment in her field) over her own family. It’s likely because she is having an affair with a coworker. It’s either than or she loves her job more than her family. Either way, she’s no good.
Strange how the seven year old daughter is mentioned and then quickly forgotten.
Yeah, that was bizarre. Shouldn't that be the first priority?
Agree. They flew by that. Pretty big thing!
Staying in a broken marriage solely for the benefit of the child does NOT benefit the child. Dave was right in asking about the health of their marriage, especially because the caller seemed to be ignoring that critical factor.
@@username00009 Actually, it has pretty much been proven that keeping the marriage together for the child DOES benefit the child! Unless there is violence in the marriage, parents should put themselves second and wait until their kids are 18 or be willing to have a very amicable divorce where the kids are still put first until they are adults.
@@sortathesame8701 Nope, the studies stay having HAPPILY married parents does the most benefit to children. Parents that are together but clearly disrespect/hate each other are considerably worse for children than parents that are (amicably) divorced but happy.
He is going to have 2 1/2 properties after this call..
lol
He is going to get banged up for sure
Yep should have divorced her before he inherited the properties
Tennessee has no fault divorces.
Gotta love marriage huh.
@@melindaunknown6411 No fault divorce is for when two people agree to go their separate ways amicably, which this woman is obviously not going to do if she can get 2.5 houses out of it now.
There has to be more to the story. She has the opportunity to stop working and live off of the properties and doesn’t want to? She’s definitely keeping that job as a safety net because she doesn’t feel secure in the marriage. This life opportunity would be a no brainer for a couple in a healthy marriage. They definitely need a marriage counselor.
Callers with marriage issues always try to make themselves look like the victim and the other the villan.
Theres allllllllways more to the story
That, and she has the opportunity to live in Chattanooga instead of Atlanta. So yeah, there's definitely more to it.
Or maybe she doesn’t want to stop working? Just because you have life made and you could retire early doesn’t mean everyone wants to sit at home collecting money just waiting to die. You’ll become miserable very quickly. If my wife and I have more than enough income to stop working our jobs at 35. If we ever settled down and stopped our jobs we would be going nuts as would most.
Yep. These guys do not understand women. She wants power and authority in the relationship he is giving it to her by leaving.
I think the husband is still grieving for the loss of his parents. He wants to move back "home." Grief makes people unreasonable. It also amplifies underlying problems, like those within a marriage.
@tahoemist98: Railroad men, bounty hunters and Deke Thornton?
Thank you this way exact thought too.
Tam712, I couldn't agree more.
Mind reading isn't a thing.
She said "my career, my opportunities". He's not grieving, he's been replaced by "her career"
Video hasn't started for me yet. But I think she should sell the car
😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂
I'm literally dying laughing! 🤣
💀😂😅😂😅
Lol
My coworker was presented with this ultimatum. She give up her career in DC and agreed to moved to Texas with him. Shortly after she got there, he wanted a divorce. It didn't go well. They were married 11+ years.
H Yim and then you’re stuck there if you have kids.
Right! If he doesn't love her enough to sit down and discuss this, without caring if she comes or not, she'll end up leaving what she has behind and getting divorced shortly after moving.
Yeah to me it seems like you’d only ask in this way because you want them to not go. Years ago I was offered an opportunity in another city and I asked my wife, girlfriend at the time, if she wanted to go. I told her if she didn’t want to go that I’d turn down the job. It would have never occurred to me just tell her I was going and she could come along if she wants.
That is sad 😢. I hope she landed on her feet.
Texas has great divorce laws.
He's done with you...
She knows there are problems in the marriage...
She just doesn't want to say it
She's got her head in the sand and wants to blame everything else for his ultimatum other than that something has happened to put such a strain in her marriage that he's done screaming at her to help him fix the problem. People don't just wake up one day and say "I'm going to give the love of my life an ultimatum."
Oh jus sounds like a typical woman to me..good for him! I wanna move back to Nevada where I'm from im having the same issue with my girlfriend not wanting to leave her comfort zone n take a chance
And it is completely fine if they can solve it on their own
It means doing the 1 thing women can't stand, taking responsibility.
@@spongymcfonsworth , My ex husband had this love for his animals and expect me to live in a zoo. All my pleas and reasoning, he would not listen!! people can be stuck in their ways, not necessary evil. I have no choice, divorced him and move on. I have remarried 3 years ago to a wonderful man that is so much alike to my values.
She sounded like she was in the bargaining/denial stages of grief
Absolutely in denial !
She is. And she didn't want to hear it-from her spouse nor Dave & John.
He would strand her in TN with no resources, since she would have lost her job & has no family or friends to help her!!
My dad gave the same ultimatum to my mom about either moving to Argentina with him or separate for good. Its a power play to give an ultimatum like that. They could collect the money from the rental properties and still stay in Atlanta for her sake, its a move that really means "im pretending to make it seem like its YOUR choice when I've already made up my mind. If you divorce me then I don't take the blame of the divorce"
Dude....maybe your dad wanted to retire in Argentina....MAYBE THATS ALL IT WAS lol
@@Macheako lol they werent gonna retire in their late 20s.
@Full Tilt Boogie Yes, to call your own wife a "puta" would mean you want the best for her and to just "retire". What Dave is saying is true, he just wants to leave HER but its a convenient out to say "I gave her the option to move with me and she didnt want to".
Ahh, Chattanooga isn’t Argentina. This couple is extremely disconnected. That’s why John and Dave focused on they need counseling before they can fix the living choices. It could be he is running off without regard to her, but it could also be that he had tried to get through to her about their problems and she has been unwilling to hear. Sometimes a relationship requires an ultimatum to continue or break when ending an unhealthy pattern is needed, no matter the cost.
Could be. But also consider that they may be paying a mortgage in Atlanta. And probably a high one at that. Why not move into the house that they can live in for free in Tennessee and pay no mortgage? Having no mortgage would expedite the process of getting out of debt. So yes they could potentially still live in Atlanta but likely at a high cost. I think the husband is just debt focused like she said. I would love to hear the other side of the story though, that would help put things into perspective. Either way there is something up with him being just willing to leave his wife behind like that.
"Is your marriage in trouble?"...."It might be." O come on you know the answer.
She wasn't expecting the conversation to go this way.
She sure wasn't!!
I have a friend whose husband walked in when his wife and 9 kids were at dinner and said "I'm moving to NYC. You kids can come. Not sure what your mom is going to do." They're divorced, she's very happily remarried, and he's is still in shock and completely miserable. His kids can't stand him. 🤷♀️
He got what he thought he wanted but the grass is rarely greener
Can't imagine what happened to cause him to do that. Oh wait I can, most likely a whole marriage worth of infidelity
This marriage is toast. Whether she goes or stays, it’s over.
Right. They've already been through counseling.
@Brian Waller 🤯🤯🤯
@Brian Waller Wait that was your wife in the video? If so she didn't mention all of that.
@@traceford4904 I NEED TO KNOW TOO!
Brian Waller I’m sure that she would probably give anything to be a healthy, successful, working member of society. Unfortunately, that’s the thing about illness-it strikes whoever and whenever. Do you suppose she already knows you view her as a burden? She probably just spends most of her days thinking-waiting for the moment when you walk out. If it were me, I would prefer that you get it over and done with. Anything is better than being viewed with contempt.
He doesn't want to be with her. Pretty clear and simple. He's giving her an ultimatum because he is not counting on her going.
Hit the road, Jack!
And passing the guilt onto her, instead of taking the responsibility for an ended marriage on himself.
Or it’s like Dave and John said. He’s done screaming trying to fix things. It may not be him that’s the problem.
@@BlueDauntlessOh it’s him He has a side piece for sure
These people don't call Dave for financial advice. They call him for marriage counseling 😆
Thank God he added Dr. Deloney to his Team!!
I think a lot of people dont want advise, they want approval on their bad behavior.
That's like his whole thing, the financial problems begin with emotional and relationship problems. I love how he comes at everything from a human level.
@@racebannon96yep
Money is a BIG part of all relationships; It shows you where your heart is and where you spend your money or save your money, your heart is.
It always surprises me how much wisdom these guys have beyond financials. It really feels like they understand: It's not about the freaking money.
on the outside looking in!!!!
This marriage is gonna drop faster than the next market crash
Market not crashing for the rest of your life.
Borj Did you foresee corona happening? No? Then you can’t say anything like that again and be correct.
@@boertje
It will definitely come again at some point a crash
feel bad for her
@@boertje markets are consolidating over the next few months. Expect another dip before it continues upward.
I totally agree with Dave. I'll bet he's tried to talk about this with his wife many times, and she doesn't listen. Just like she really didn't listen to what Dave was trying to communicate what the true issue was.
Maybe ..however ...Dave is just talking to HER ....not BOTH of them ....
That is possible. She is so focused on the financial end of this picture; I would be wondering why my spouse is treating me like a disposable unit.
This lady is completely delusional and very arrogant, you can hear it in her voice. These two are trying to get through to her and she’s like a robot. I have a feeling she doesn’t respect her husband one bit and he sees an opportunity to leave her while he disguises it as “the debt-free option.”
I think she's a capricorn - very stubborn - always right - very much in her head and has no clue what it means to have emotional needs.
Projection?
Her answers are completely rational
I feel like this guy felt trapped for whatever reason for a while and then when he got his inheritance he saw it as a way out and now hes running
@BubonicTonic I am just thinking abt their little 7 year old daughter, such a shame
@BubonicTonic yeah he is going to divorce her, he has been frustrated for awhile. She needs to stay and work because he’s going to divorce her either way
completely agree, i was in same shoes. my ex wife decided to go the strong independent woman route. we parted ways, im happiest than ever, my career went up like tenfold, and life became a Buddhist's peaceful utopia.
@@Asmodeius that's gives guys like me hope. Wish you all the best bro
Can't really say that he is running. It's not about money, it's about her perceived security and getting things her way. Got a bit of princess in her.
I'm moving to a new place, with your without you, doesn't just fall out of the sky
And based on the fact that she's not even listening to the people she called to ask for advice, she probably hasn't been listening to her husband very much either
They both saw this coming 100 miles away (parents eventually passing). He either never expressed his thoughts (unlikely.....as a spouse would ask this), or she doesn't listen.
LOL🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
She's in denial, she probably also doesn't love him that deeply, it's hard to have a deep relationship with someone that checked out. She's probably struggling with letting go of a 10 year relationship she's comfortable with. She shouldn't leave her friends and career for someone that could care less. Even if she goes they will be divorcing in a few years.
@@jessicaolson490 He is the one with the upper hand in their years and will just continue to go up.
The financial windfall he had gave him to motivation to leave her. So sad!
Wow, I wish I heard this three years ago. Same thing happened to me. She told me she was going to move south with or without me. We moved to TN. I gave up a good job and once we got there and I got established she told me she did no want to be married anymore and stepped out. Boy Hindsight is 20-20!
Partners don't give each other ultimatums.
So sad that many couples do that.
It's a marriage, not a business partnership, if a wife will not obey her husband it's effectively over.
Exactly, it’s bad way of communication, unless they want to leave
They do when one of them doesnt care anymore
@@costakeith9048 I don't know what century you're lost in, but obeying is not the same thing as submission. Read your Bible. Partners don't give each other ultimatums.
My husband did that to me 5 years ago. I had a wonderful job in NYC and my husband got a job in California. I made the decision to move to California, my husband quit his job after a few months. I became bitter, we separated 6 months ago. We never fight but we never solve problems. We talk more now that we are apart. 33 year marriage
We need to hear his side of the story. She is leaving out something.
She's definitely not telling the whole story. Any couple would jump at a paid for house and four paid for rental properties. She could start her own business.
@Johnny Five she puts herself above her family.
It depends on what kind of job she has. Does it seems secure? What's her salary? How's the work environment?
@@rayj.9568 shes a contractor. She works gig by gig. She is actively looking for new work.
yeah. i think something is missing. she is a contractor. i mean...they can live debt free and from the rental properties, I would go in a heart beat. i don't know..
I think you all may have missed that a big part of her reluctance to move is being 100 miles from family and friends ... that’s a big change and has nothing to do with “feminism”
He doesn’t get to just take your daughter , get a lawyer
I feel like they hit the nail on the head in the second part from his prospective. She is chasing dollars in her career and he’s burned out and now has the chance to simplify life.
Maybe she was chasing money for her CHILD
@@georgewagner7787If they’re both working and have one kid, I doubt it.
The child is probably in school and daycare with both of them working.
He wants out of the rat race. Paid for house. Rental income. Boom done. That is not a bad thing. Many families would love to be in this position.
Maybe she’s got a different plan and she can sense a divorce in the future.
@Anne Day She should stay behind for all of what you said Anne.
Paid for house doesn’t include electric, water etc…and the man doesn’t have a job he just has 4 rental properties and on his back
He doesn't need to move to another state -- he can just sell one of the properties and have all his debts taken care of.
She dont trust her husband....thats why she is clinging to those jobs/ job opportunities....
good point, I think you might be right
the only thing a woman loves more than her husband and a free and easy lifestyle is her boyfriend
Nailed it.
I don’t blame her! How can u give your wife an ultimatum
@@kazzTrismusnot necessarily, what he’s doing isn’t a safe idea, I understand him wanting to get out of debt so sell some of the properties and pay off debt
I gave my ex husband an ultimatum: Get on the Dave Ramsey plan or get lost. Well... I had to get a personal protection order on him. I guess he really didn’t like Dave’s plan. Fast forward two years and I’m on Baby Step 6. 😎
Anne Day He wasn’t abusive until after I decided to go through with the divorce. He was used to getting his way for so long. He thought it was unfair that I no longer had to work two jobs or overtime to support his lifestyle. He liked spending money on cars, parties, other women, the latest phones, and vacations. I’m sure it was a shock to the system when the divorce was finalized that triggered the threats.
aprilracine Kudo to you girl!!!
Kudos lady
ABSOLUTELY AWESOME!! I CAN'T clap enough!!👏👏👏👏There is NOTHING like peace of mind COMBINED with a plan. We can ALL be winners at life.👍
I’ve never heard Dave say to throw this ultimatum at a spouse. It’s always been talk with them because their vote is just as important as yours.
Looks like she is emotionally clueless. All I hear is words like strategy, plans..etc.
This is a defensive mechanism working unconsciously. She hides her fear behind calculation.
Completely in denial
Yes
It's very clear with the way the caller hesitated when questioned about the health of the marriage that it's over.
I'd love to hear what hubby and his mistress are doing these days.
🤭😂😂😂😂
LOL
Maybe she’s cheating.
Me, too.
The guy has 5 properties plus any other assets they have. they could retire yesterday. If her career in Atlanta is so important she can stay there and work. I would be retired and enjoy my life somewhere else.
The fact that he's giving her an option to stay raises eyebrows because they are married. To me it sounds like he's trying to get rid of her.
Friend Friends Yeah it would definitely be interesting to hear his side of the story too. I have a feeling we’re missing some details.
There are 5 inherited properties, he wants a divorce. Inherited properties are not marriage assets to divide. He just won the divorce lottery, just give her the GA home.
@@friendfriends2444 It's possible that he told her let's move to TN and she refused. And he told her again that he wants to move to TN and she kept refusing.
Then eventually he said, I'm giving you an ultimatum. I'm going to TN, either you come or stay it's upto to you.
@@farzana6676 I have a friend who did the same thing with his wife but he moved to Florida. She chose her adult daughter over her marriage and he left her. He's living his best life now.
It sounds like the man lost his parents and want to enjoy life.
Bingo! Idk how she didn’t see the bigger picture! They need Counseling.
Exactly.
Yup
Loved: "The worst part of moving is you go with you." - Epic wisdom!
Just 10 small words, but ignoring it could be 10 years or more of emotional agony and torture.
Exactly Granny always use to say where ever you go "There You are "
..."no matter where you go...there you are"...
..."you can't leave you at home"...
Yes, but for which one?
My 54yr Married Dads Marital Advice to me.
Without Communication there's no Compassion.
Without Compassion there's no Compromise.
Without Compromise there's no Commitment.
Just always remember it all starts with Communication.
She doesn’t see the issue...or is in denial. Maybe she was the breadwinner and now he has the opportunity to take more control....he’s not happy...she doesn’t see it.
I hadn't thought of that possibility, interesting!
She is a control freak. She can't let her husband be the leader of the family
Brian G C seen too many failed relationships because of this. And secretly the women despise their partner for being puppies like that. It’s simply unbalanced.
interesting take.
@@pspspsp1010 Yeah why whatever woman I end up choosing to be my wife is never going to be a control-freak. A woman that lets her man lead will be happier for it, and the man too. A woman trying to lead causes her to be unhappy/unsatisfied and the same goes for the man. Only one partner can lead, and when women do it the relationship suffers. Also, when I say lead I don't mean dominate. There's always discussion/compromise as a couple/unit, but ultimately ONE decision is made, so naturally someone takes the lead.
We need to hear the husbands side of the story.
For curiosity?
@SSSWLAFAAFCYeah112 5 properties could be worth $100k or $1M. You don't know that so you can't make assumptions about worth and the impact on the decision. While your assumptions about her are a possibility, the reverse could be just as true. He issued the ultimatum and could be planning the divorce. I agree with FitTruckingGamer, and I would love to hear his side because there was too much missing from hers.
100% He May have been trying to communicate to her what the plan needed to be for a long time, but she is married to her career, not him. She’s fine with a HCOL area and $40K in student loans- no mention of or question about who is raising their 7 year old while she advances her career? He has an opportunity to provide for his family- debt-free and her resistance to that is selfish. Her career is just not that important, but it is her idol that she worships. Her whole identity is her career- she went into debt for it. She’s willing to stay in debt for it. She has totally abandoned her identity as a wife and a mother- and that’s if she ever had it in the first place. They could has pressed her a LOT more on that point. Who do you want to be? A whatever it is you do for a living? Or a wife to your husband and a mother to your 7 year old girl? I know who they need her to be- and the reason he’s willing to let her go is that she long ago abandoned her family.
Maybe she puts more stock in her HCOL Atlanta lifestyle and her career than being a wife and a mother. Perhaps he’s willing to let her go because she long ago abandoned him? Maybe she just hasn’t been paying attention? She seems to have an idol: her career. She’s got $40K plus in debt and a seven year old daughter- does this strike anyone as incongruent?
@@paulstrauss9146 sadly I agree. this is really sad and 10 years still at 40k in debt, what happens when he leaves she will be stuck in debt for ever.
Dave is right about the ultimatum....no one issues an ultimatum unless they can live with the answer either way. Translation: Husband doesn't really care whether you go or not.
And just like that.....
everyone forgot about the 7 yr old child. 🤔
Thank you!!! They are a family! They need to act like adults and make the best decision for the family. They are putting their personal desires over their child.
You don't stay in bad relationships for the kids. You leave for the kids! Don't damage them by having them watch you suffer and be unhappy for years!
Once a person starts noticing children being disregarded, they are surprised at how often it happens. Makes me so mad. But they will be very quick to say "my kids are my world", but actions speak much louder than words.
@@rachellebrown9830 I thought that, but it turns out that many people don't think so. I left a terrible marriage, he was a terrible father, too (he wouldn't even answer if his kids called him "Dad"; they had to call him by his first name. And yes, they look exactly like him in case anyone wonders.). However, my friends and several family members told me that the kids would never forgive me, and that I was scarring them for life!
I KNOW HES LEAVING HER AND THE KID
Doesn't matter if she goes..if she's/ he's not in love with the other. They will have the same problem there. They might even be in a worse situation if she does go.
Exactly! And i bet she knows it. If they were in a happy marriage, he wouldn't be giving her an 'ultimatum' and she wouldn't be so nervous to start on this new adventure with him.
If my husband said this to me, I'd offer to help him pack.
That's right. He be paying a loooot of child support
He wouldn't miss you a day. Here is your stupidity. 5 Houses paid off 4 rented that as to be about 6 thousand dollars per month it's hard to manage Houses away that far what she's not saying is she wants him to sell everything. So I would tell you goodbye even if I was married to you for 20 years with 4 children even give you two of the Houses. And Dave Abram didn't ask Sarah if she wanted to move. This is not a uncertain move about money. There is probably money in stocks and bonds and 401k. Why does she want to stay in Atlanta?.
@@diannathornton2911You joined in a Christian marriage and refuse to follow your husband's lead, instead choosing to flex this power you have through the modern marriage laws (his income being higher or primary breadwinner). Disgusting.
A lot of this is coming from the death of his parents. It's almost like a mid life crisis.
He has been unhappy and it seems like she doesn't understand why he is unhappy and she doesn't care why he is unhappy.
My husband did the same thing to me, said we move or you stay and we divorce. I moved with him but he had a plan, once we got to our new place in another state, he asked me for a divorce and yes we did divorce. turns out i did ok after that divorce.
I died when he said BYE FELICIA 😂🤣😂
MY life MY opportunities MY career. You’re married with a kid lady. There’s other people.
You don’t get the real issue here. She said my this my that just because she needs some excuses to confirm for herself that she can’t go with him because of her situations, not because her husband doesn’t want her anymore.
true, this is what our egocentric society is going for.
She could be teaching her child to tolerate being treated as a lesser person if she stays.
I had a similar situation when i was stationed in Mobile, Alabama. I am from Texas and after the relationship got serious I told my girlfriend at the time (now my wife). That as soon as I get out of the service I am moving back home because Texas is the move best financially and family wise many times over the next 3 years. Every-time I was respectful and said l understand if you want to stay with you family because leaving you family if very hard and gave her an out if she wanted to. She never really gave me a response and I dont think she rally ever believed me.... but she did when I started packing the U-haul.Long story short she decided to come to Texas 13 years ago and we now have 2 kids the rest is history.
This guy just see's a better debt free life in TN and she probably chose not to listen and now the decision is staring her in the face.
DR. John. You are an great asset to this show.
haha I don't think he's very eloquent and he jumps to conclusions way too quickly
I want to hear from the guy. I would jump at an opportunity like this, work for ourselves and be there for my child.
That's not the point. The point is the ultimatum and how he proposed it; that's a sign of a bad marriage.
Edit: I do agree with you, though. If the marriage is good, then it's a super good opportunity.
@@kevinworley7096 She could be lying about the style of the ultimatum. We only have her side of the story.
@@YadraVoat
That is true. Either way they in bad shape
+1 I think she might be mischaracterizing the nature of his ultimatum.
The problem is that if she doesn't have a job in the new place and he wanders out of the marriage, which he probably will given the fact he's giving an ultimatum, she won't have anything to fall back on. If he gets a good lawyer he can leave her with nothing, and her career will be over, as well.
Amanda, he wants to go to Tennessee by himself. He's just doesn't want to be the one to say it's over. Instead, he wants you to be the one who makes the "choice" to end the marriage by opting to stay in Atlanta. That way, he can avoid feeling like the bad guy. The first hard truth in any longstanding but dying relationship is that someone has to be willing to be the bad guy who calls it as it truly is and says "I'm not going to do this anymore." Understandably, nobody wants to be that person, but someone has to in order for both people to be set free. Best of luck to you.
True enough
But you don't know what it is she could of made a big deal are fight over it who knows
Always two sides to every story! I'm sure she's a saint!
Love how he doesn’t blame anyone. He just try’s to understand this situation.
Parents just have died. They left him the family homeplace and 4 rental homes. That is a residence with emotional history tied in, plus income from the rentals. If the homeplace is already paid off, and the rentals are too, then being the Landlord is THE PLAN. I pray the 7 year old is not being used as a pawn.
Gave this a thumbs up, solely because dude on the left said “bye Felicia” bahaha
She’s got it together and likes her life no one can blame her for that….its hard to compete with feeling safe
Sounds like my parents.
My dad had a vision/plan, and my mom consistently told him no. They had a hard time before the 2008 recession, and he want3d to rebuild, and she kept saying no.
No matter what he asked, she said no. Eventually, he stopped asking and filed for divorce.
This caller was not listening to Dave and John, which makes me feel she has not been listening to her husband.
This is the first take I’ve seen where people had criticisms of the wife that actually makes any amount of sense. Most people are just saying “submit to your husband!!” and, “she just loves her job more than her husband!!” as if it’s somehow reasonable to propose an ultimatum like that out of nowhere 💀
But if this is the case and the husband has finally had enough of being steamrolled by his wife, then yeah. I don’t blame him. But John and Dave are totally right. They need to find a marriage counselor or something before they make any other decisions.
Thank you Dr. John for noticing the disconnect and trying to get her to focus on that part.
There is always two sides of a story
3 sides when the truth comes out
There "are" always two sides...grammar please.
Dianna Thornton that’s how I choose to write
@@bigd3721 that's very basic correct grammar.
The sweet woman who called reminds me of a situation I saw. The woman would constantly accuse her husband of all the things she was doing. Accusing him of divorce, while the whole while he didn't want one, and she constantly was saying we need a divorce. I am betting her husbands side sounds more very reasonable when you get the other side of the puzzle to hear.
I think you are spot on.
Yep.
Yep.
She kept saying "my career, my options, my this my that" Imagine the poor guy hearing it all day long.
my xw tried that.. she is now me xw
I’m glad you guys went back to reflect on the situation from where the husband was possibly at. I listened to the caller and didn’t even consider the possibility that she wasn’t listening to his pleads for an extended period of time
That's called a separation, which happens before a divorce more often than not. She needs to go to counseling on her own if he won't.
It's hard to judge without hearing the other side, if he just wanted out he would have just left but the fact that he invited her to come makes me think that she is the problem, she is putting herself and her career before the marriage and it had to come to this point because she just won't listen.
Too many women are married more to their careers than their spouses.
That’s it, this guy doesn’t feel heard.
The marriage is broken....all inherited properties are assuredly put in his name...she leaves Atlanta & her earning power....she’s burdened with $42K debt in her name....moves with her child to Tennessee....will probably be employed by husband helping with his real estate management....more fights ensue shortly after move...he files for divorce & gets child custody...she now has no job & is $42K debt....he buys her single bus ticket back to Atlanta...The End.
@@boatsie I'm sorry you have little faith in people but everyone is not the person that hurt you
Exactly, Imam.
That marriage is done, the woman doesn't even know how to listen to Dave -.-
She's in a panic, desperately trying to drown the voice of her fears with that inane chatter about money and strategy.
They want her to be emotional so badly. I want my daughter to be like this lady. Worry about if it makes financial sense for you, not about pleasing someone that doesn’t want you anymore. If this was a guy calling they would have focused more on the financials, but since its a woman they focused on “healing” and “fixing” a relationship she’s already tried counseling for. Go be happy, ma’am.
I want my daughter to be perceptive enough to know when her marriage is in trouble
Denial
And go be happy sir! It works both ways, doesn't it?
Her heart sounds so heavy! ❤️
She's in a panic, poor woman. She's not thinking rationally at this point.
I wonder what were the basis for them wanting counseling. Dave has talked about how money amplifies anything already happening. For those of us in a committed relationship we would move anywhere to support our loved ones. But this is an issue for both parties in this marriage.
Yeah, dude wants out.
This is not a job or money issue. It’s a relationship issue.
When my marriage wasn’t working out, that’s exactly how it felt, hey this is what’s going on get on board or get lost. That’s why we ended in a divorce.
Rule number one of emotional abuse : Never let an abuser move you to a different location.
Number 1!!
Good point
how do we know he's an abuser?
This statement obviously written by a woman. How do we know there’s abuse and he’s the abuser?
Way to promise “for better or for worse” and be so ready to leave her if she doesn’t agree.
But it's OK to force him to stay where you want, regardless of what he may want?
Dr. John, you look/sound much more comfortable on air now then you did your first two shows. Whatever you’re doing is working. Keep up the good work!!
It's really refreshing to see Dave leading with bold curiosity, he's usually curious but this was a different kinda Dave. I'll stay tuned.
HES FOUND THE RED PILL
Yes, it sounds like it!
What is the red pill?
@@brooklynqueen8356 Man-children who use abusive tactics to manipulate women into doing whatever they want with no consideration for her well-being.
@@sarahb8147 Um that is not what red pill is. I am a woman and I know that this is a made up definition that you just said. It is basically when a man does not want to become married or just not deal with abusive women. Not all red pilled men are against marriage per say but they are all against feminism and the way women abuse the system while neglecting anything a man does.
@@dorlisastjean4072 I am well aware of what red pill is. I have spent a lot of time on their subreddit. You have the right to defend whatever degeneracy you want to, but you don’t need to explain them to someone who already knows.
*These situations aren't random, there were signs or overt statements ignored*
No one just wakes up one day and say to themselves "I think I'm going to tell the love of my life that I'm moving and that they can come if they want, or don't." Something has happened and this guy is done trying to fix it himself while she buries her head in the sand.
@@jwebby85 true!
@@jwebby85 ??? 10 years ago, I told my wife, in ten years, I will retire, I am going to move.
It is more important to me to leave this Sh**hole, than anything else.
My wife said to me :in ten years, I will retire, I am going to move.
It is more important to me to leave this Sh**hole, than anything else.
I bet, if she was retired, she would still want to live in Atlanta.
They're going to get a divorce whether they move or not. She just doesn't see it and he won't admit it. He doesn't just want to leave Atlanta, he wants to leave you.
"The sidewalk you're walking on doesn't exist anymore."
I found that phrase hilarious and at one point very relevant to me.
Of all the cohosts I've listened to, I like this gentleman best. I know one day Dave will have to be replaced, and this is the first one I feel could carry the same aggression needed to get people's attention without being too mean. Good job!
Haha, didn’t expect the “Bye, Felicia” comment. Nice job, Dr. Deloney!
Me either...
🤢🤢
Ugh..
That has more to do with the marriage. Seek counseling if you want to stay with that guy.
I think it's waaaayyy too late for that! He's already checked out of the marriage. He probably already has her replacement lined up. He expects her to take the big ole hint. That was a real bucket of ice water he poured over her; she's trying very hard to pretend otherwise.
I like that they reviewed afterwards and tried to understand better from both perspectives.
They nailed it, she was ignoring what he wants and he's had enough of a one sided marriage. He might not even be giving a true ultimatum and might just be trying to wake her up and make her realize she needs to stop being so selfish.
I don’t get how she’s selfish especially since we are only hearing her side. They have a life where they are and he wants to uproot them and it probably has a lot to do with the grief he’s experiencing.
She might be selfish, but if my marriage were on the rocks, I’d be scared to leave my support system and any stability in my own income to go. Moving with someone who already is wishy-washy about you isn’t going to suddenly make him recommit to her.
I'll go anywhere my hubby wants to go. What a great plan...debt free with homes paid off. That sounds like an amazing strategy. I'd be game. 100%.
He is chosing money and another location over the person he said I do to. He's just not in love with her anymore.
Try this tell your significant other you want to move somewhere they don't want to live and that you would still go without them and see what they say.
She should just do like Eddie Murphy jokes about. divorce him and take half of everything. that includes half of the inherited properties.
@@neilffmc592 Inherited property is not treated the same as community property so no she won't be taking half of what he inherited.
Wish my ex had the same mentality! Lol
So leave ur family an friends , no job . An move to a different state ( that u don’t get help pick out )
And you would be an ex wife in a completely unfamiliar location.
Sad that she is even considering going because basically he is treating her like she has no decision in this craziness he has already decided for her & that is not a marriage!
It would be interesting to learn more about “how to get your spouse on board.”
I love this extended after caller talk...please do more ❤️
She doesn't love him anymore. He's just trying to get a reaction out of her. She's the one that wants to leave unless it's gonna benefit her plans
I doubt you're getting the whole story here.
Exactly what I was thinking
I've only been watching these Dave Ramsey videos for a couple of days. Gotta say, you guys are SPOT ON with your advice, and not just financial advice, but life advice. You are providing a much needed service in a very productive way, to people who need it. (hope they are willing to listen). God Bless.
If this guy is the sole / main breadwinner, his wife should be supporting him.
Really need to hear the husband's side of the story anyway
I would like to hear his point of view in the words he used in that conversation, before making a conclusion!
If it has been less than a year or two since their death, I would encourage him to seek grief therapy. I lost my FIL, MIL, and husband in the space of about 3 years. People get crazy when they're grieving. I really don't see how they can work on the marriage without him dealing with his grief.
Oh my goodness I could not even imagine. I hope you are doing well!❤️
Thank god they brought up possible points of view from the husband
shes a contractor. she can find work in the new city. Its crazy to stay with 4 rental properties.