'Gays Too Precious To Risk In Combat'
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- Опубликовано: 24 фев 2008
- Gen. McBrayer discusses how valuable homosexuals are, and why we must never put their lives at risk by allowing them in the military.
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Развлечения
"Seven" no hesitation whatsoever
He did the math
Cue Ball no, there's a department in the military dedicated to calculating the value of gays to straights
@Thuzar Because that's the conversion rate of homosexual life to heterosexual life
well there are researchers and thesis its scientifically proven that the number is 7
@@BackgroundDude because it's science.
"how many-"
"seven."
did you also watch the video?
@@pierreo33 AHHHHHH
16 years later and this is just now showing up on my feed?
Average the onion experience
Crazy
Yeah 😆
Yea ditto
God bless this video
Fun fact the Greek had a gay troop called The Sacred Band of Thebes, 150 gay couples. It was thought lovers would fight more fiercely than strangers.
You mean the Ancient Greek right?
@@drrisen-9442 yes my bad lol
That was the thebans that had the sacred band of thebes
@@jacobjones1457 The Thebans were Greek.
@@jasonwilliams8016considered visiting Greece, now I don't know... 🤔
Due to inflation, the life of a gay person is now worth eleven soldiers. But aside from that, still very accurate.
Gays immune to inflation 😂
@@panzerofthelake506But the straight people being compared to are not, which is why the value of the gay person does not trail by the losing value of the hetero variety.
Ignorant butthole
Biden : " I made gays worth more! That's Bidenomics folks!"
We have since moved from the "gold standard" as a measure of economy, switching to the much more valuable and stable "gay standard"
Me, bleeding out on the battlefield: “That was all for you, Neil Patrick Harris.”
Worth it.
Kneel down to Neil, the king
Thank you for "doing your part" (nobody choke on a crayon, Starship Troopers reference)
Neil Patrick Harris is gay?!?!
@@youtubeaccount2302 of course he is, he's an absolute chad.
"Seven"
Hes asked this question monthly
He said it likes its a factual thing that has been researched 😅
I thought it was because he said they protect the gays like they’re Snow White? As in the soliders are the seven dwarves for each gay man
he's just floating in the air near the pentagon
😂😂
“how many mens lives equal one gay man?”
*no hesitation*
“seven”
“General!”
I f*cking died at that point!😂
That line murdered me.
The lack of hesitation killed me 😂
Hesitation is defeat.
"why are you gae?"
"because I'm precious"
Awwww cute as hell
xd
This one haha
My precious
"hu ses I'm precious?"
"u are precious."
This pops up on my feed every couple of years and every time I need to click on it lol. The “only group left untouched by war” and “seven” make it SO GOOD
God bless America and her gays
"their pure minds should be reserved for thoughts of man on man or woman on woman romance"
@@Garathon god bless gays
I've never felt more appreciated in the last 16 years. Thank you, general.
Same
I salute you 🙂↕️✊ precious homosexual
"ohh look at me im 'gay' and i need to say it to every stranger on the internet"
@@San-yc3lcthats ok san, you can continue being gay 😊
@@San-yc3lc🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈Congrats San!!!🥳🥳🥳
"How many soldiers' lives is a gay's life worth?"
"Seven."
And that's where I lost it.
And you have 7 likes now, i dare not ruin it.
@@ajorngjdonaydbr 71 now
Homosexuals in army are a common thing. Gays in army? I already hear Chinese, Russian and North Korean tanks bruming.
@@ancientslav4863 what?
@@ajorngjdonaydbr i dare not be the 8th like for YOUR reply
I love how he just said 7 without thinking about it
Gay to straight conversion ratio
Clearly, they had top men working on that answer.
Its science
It was either in the script or on the Que card.
I was browsing old comedy videos I liked to add to a comedy playlist, as I clicked this I started actually laughing just from remembering this joke.
That “seven” was definitely agreed upon in advance
Haters will say it's fake.
_I'm not usually homosexual_
_But when I am, it's because there is a war happening_
LMAO
I know this is a joke, but i'd rather prefer dying in the war than to kiss a guy on the lips🤢.
@@coolconduct2495 cool, now go back to your normal life
@@coolconduct2495 thats kinda gay bro
@@coolconduct2495 Mmh, I'd kiss a girl for $100. You do you I guess-
I think he's just afraid that his boyfriend would get enlisted
that’s actually really wholesome 🥺
No
Exactly 😥 a tale as old as time....
You mean "drafted", don't you, Schmucky?
arent we all. bless.
Judging by comment age, it looks like the algorithm pushes this out with each presidential election.
It's pride Month you silly Billy
16 years ago. How precise this is in 2024.
Even the 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' is the complete opposite of 'Pride' 😂😂
@@TrevorJennings-rd6lvwhat a weird bot
@@TrevorJennings-rd6lvwe're fine, - vaccination saved us as well as millions of other people!
Isn't science fantastic? 🤗🍻
@@lisette2060No it didn't.
Because ... The social patterns never change. Just the clock facings.
"7"
No hesitation. He knew that. It's basic logic.
It's basic maths. They teach it in year 1
It's the first thing they teach you in military school
777 Likes. Perfection.
I mean duh, who doesn’t know it?
He look like the kind of general that did a PHd in War Studies to come up with that conclusion
His straight up no hesitation answer of "7" just bust me up everytime
dumbledore: so you split your soul into how many parts again?
voldemort: 1:06
Lol yeah the straight faced short answer of 7 without any elaboration had me rolling.
its just such an arbitrary number lmao
7" busts me up every time, too.
Of course the military has a doctrine for this, it couldn't go unregulated.
Happy Pride month you precious gays 🏳️🌈✨
Shut up
@@ULFcsoh I see, you’re an edgy 11 year old.
Thanks
@@ULFcs Cringe pfp
@@ULFcsanime kid diddler
I agree 100% my fragile psyche absolutely shouldn’t be subjected to the horrible sights that occur on the battlefield 🏳️🌈✨💅😤
Nh
If I ever become a streamer, that's going to be one of my sound effects:
"God bless America and her gays,"
Do it. Plz.
Send channel link right now or it'll never happen
No one is stopping you
@@flameBMW245 my empty wallet and school laptop are tho
@@astroboystan damn man, i was looking forward to a new streamer popping up, hope you can go through with your wishes i guess
"How many soldiers lives is the life of one gay man's worth?"
"Seven"
No hesitation or second thought.
This calculation has been made before.
i wanted to like but then i saw the current count and just take this as a like
He almost says it with some disdain as if he's questioning himself how the reporter doesn't already know the information lol
Incredibly based
@@manshark3 the education system has really failed us, this study should be part of the common core
Rainbow bro. 7 colours
The people that are mad clearly don’t have any common sense or media literacy 😭
I know this was a joke but kinda made me feel loved
Ikr! But does that mean only half of me can go to war since I'm bi??
‘YOU KILLED 7 OF OUR MEN!!!!’
‘But you killed one of our gays.’
‘Fair enough.’
A soul for... souls
@Giovanni Mendez yup
Progress
We're all numbers
Dude f a primate in the A
I will risk mine and 6 other heterosexuals lives in the name of protecting the gays
thank you for your sacrifice
thanks big johnny
Gay
thank you big johnny :)
You are a true ally :) thank you
Well, this aged like a fine wine. Like a delicate, gay wine....
“Seven.”
HIS IMMEDIATE ANSWER FUCKING KILLED ME
“God bless America and her gays.” -Gen. Robert Mcbrayer
(-.-)ゝ
This should be written on the dollar bill. 🤔
@hafs reader yes yes, and a hail Satan to you as well my friend!
Why is America feminine?
Who decided that?
amen
"God bless America and her gays."
"God save the Queens."
@@steelrarebit7387 underrated comment
War Inc. hahahha
@@joksizantos7520 No. The Queens. You made it worse.
"I did it for the girls and the gays that's it"
Why did it take me 16 years to see this lmfao
I appreciate you guys not taking this stuff down.
Why would they?
why would they? not only is it satire, but its incredibly gay-friendly lmao. the onion has always been leftist
@@insertname1857 yes but we have a lot of emotional individuals who are stupid on the left and instantly want things gone if they don’t like something. The idea of satire is too difficult for some of them to even understand.
@@AyeAyeAyeAyo No one's freaking out over this dude
@@vapingfury4460 okay vape master
That firm, matter-of-fact “7” fucking took me out
Clearly they had formed a committee to study it and he had read that report.
Same lol
I had to replay the next 30 seconds or so because I couldn't concentrate. But I went back to the 7 and laughed again.
hahahahaha same
Me too rofl
When he said "seven" he said it instantly without hesitation, firmly and confident, this number is not just an estimation, but the result of serious studies and assesments involving analysts, sociologists and military experts
Love it lol
One for each colour of the rainbow
It also implies that although America's gays are precious, there is a certain number of soldiers that become more important.
Now just imagine how valuable a gay soldier would be.
@@ster2600 🤣
@@Resi1ience Simple math; 7 times 7 is 49.
I had to watch it again to read the headlines scrolling across the bottom of the screen. "30,000 people drafted to live in nebraska"
The only form of acceptable discrimination.
unfortunately they got rid of that law to draft innocent gay people that actually want to fight in the first place for some reason
i can’t handle how seriously he said 7. he didn’t even flinch. i’m crying laughing.
me too, its laughable to think gays are worth 7 when in actuality they are worth 50.
You stand by this bigot?
Lol that was pretty funny
that's exactly where I lost it too :))
I think there is an actual reason they did that...there have been so many times where i am watching a news interview and the person being interviewed will say something strange (really bazar) and the reporter doesn't follow up on what they had just said. As if they are just reading a list as they go.
A bisexual is worth 3.5 soldiers.
are we not pure enough
LOL
Yeah, I could probably take 3.5 soldiers
@@clawlion8 me too ;)
@@pearly2346 wait 3.5 what like half a torso or something
And this is why America remains the greatest country in the world. Name one other country that takes care of its people like America. You can’t🫡🇺🇸
It's satire
@@PatrickstardevourerI thought the original comment was satire
this comment section really exemplifying that illiteracy statistic huh. never let it be said that subtext and satire aren’t wasted on americans
99% of the people here understand it's a joke are you just saying this to make yourself feel intelligent or do you just hate Americans?
Sort by new 😂@@Awesomeness4627
Bro really wanted to sound smart
It used to be satire 16 years ago, bub.
@@max7971it's still satire now. Anyone who believes this is actually happening has to be living in an echo chamber
I remember watching this as a young closeted gay boy and it was comforting to know that my life is seven times more valuable than a straight man's
7
nicksurfs1 that’s pretty stupid
i hail you, almighty gay lord
Same, God bless America and her gays.
Thank you for your gayness. America is forever in your debt.
It has been the solemn oath of every man in uniform to lay down his life in defense of America's precious, precious homosexuals.
mercster You know, when I saw your prof pic, I thought you would say something that's the oppisite. Good on you.
The Elders Plot twist: you’re the judgmental one.
Or to lay down with Americas precious , precious homosexuals too. Lighten up just trying to have a chuckle no disrespect intended. I admire the army for the sacrifices they make.
Sarcasm lol
Good on you, you watched the same video as everyone else, here's a trophy.
God bless America and her gays. 🇺🇸🦅💅
Nh
Why tf I am seeing this 16 years later in my feed
*WW3 about to start*
You know, I'm something of a homosexual myself.
😂😂
Praise Canada for the invention of self-identification.
Underrated comment lmfao
Profile pic checks out.
I'm glad it was shit five months ago too. Time has lost meaning
I feel bad for Onion. They can't make stupid news anymore cause the real news already too stupid.
Lol, I'm dead 😂
and people getting offended by anything now
and then we have the ones that think satirical news is real news 🥴🙄
cringe unoriginal comment that you will find in every satirical video on youtube
Corona too
as a gay dude, i feel protected 😂
Happy pride month to whoever also set the comments to newest in attempts to find people who think this is real
Thanks man
God bless America and her gays
great minds or something like that
does that mean bisexuals are worth 3 1/2 ?
Lameashellcosplay Bisexuals are equal to three fifths of a man, so gays are worth 11.666 bisexuals.
No, it worth 8, 7+1
Aight wtf.
That's so stupid, this the problem with this law. It's clearly 5. 50% of 1 straight person is 0.5 plus 50% of 1 gay person is 4.5. it's fundamental algebra. 1s /2 + 1g/2 =1b.
How much are pansexuals worth
"They're special. Pure and rare, like a gleaming diamond"
Wait, that's really touching to hear.
Edit: When the fuck did I get these likes-?
Consensually?
Are you of legal age?
Call the authorities
You are a victim
I don't cuz I'm not gay.
I think...
Putin saw this 16 years ago and thought it was real.
Like the many, many layers of a croissant or a Photoshop document, so too are we gathered.
One gay soldier's life is equal to seven straight soldiers' lives because that's how many colours there are in the rainbow.
Oh! I didn't catch that, thanks!
indigo doesn't belong in the rainbow smh
Red orange yellow green blue purple
The pride flag is not a real rainbow
Pride flag has 6 colours though. It used to have 8, but then it was brought down to 7, and then to 6. There's just one purple on it. I think the removed colours were turquoise and pink, but I'm not certain on that, if someone knows more, feel free to correct.
Anyone else get this randomly recommended after 13 years!??
Yes, and 2021 is the perfect year to laugh at this shit xDDD
Yeah, haha. Wonder how the algorithm decided to put this on our feed.
Yep
Yup
Yes
Feels right to have this recommended during pride month
showing this to the government when I get drafted (it’s creeping up y’all)
"How many soldiers' lives is one gay man worth."
"Seven."
lmfao
I dont get it
@@DanT-dh8lz they're saying that one gay mans life is "worth" 7 soldiers life. so saying that a one gay man is equally as important and precious then 7 soldiers. (if that makes sense)
He didn’t even stutter 💀
@@DanT-dh8lz it funny bc his bullshit sentence sounds so natural.
They’re not wrong though
The thought of anyone of these could be someone's first Onion video gives me so much joy.
if you sort by new you can find some amazing comments
@@eltiolavara9 I know what I'm doing for the next hour, thank you 😅
T he is IS my first Onion video! :D
@@ianjames1754 are you ok?
I’m not sure how I got this on my page, but this is my first ever onion video. Laughed my a$$ off. Sending it to everyone I care about.
GOD BLESS AMERICA AND HER GAYS 🗣🗣🦅🏳️⚧️🔥🔥💯💯🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🦅🦅🏳️🌈🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🔥🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🗣🔥🏳️⚧️🛬🏢🏢🔥🔥🔥🦅🦅
RAHHHHHHH!!!!!!🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🔥🗣🗣🔥🇺🇸🇺🇸🔥🗣🗣🇺🇸🔥🔥🔥🇺🇸🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🔥🔥🗣🔥🔥🗣WE OWN THE MOON!!!!
Nh
@@gaesnek I just noticed the twin towers “joke”
“Not coool dude,” - Chris McLean
This video uploaded when i was 10
And now youtube out of nothing decided to suggest it to me
Lol
Same, lol, and it's surprisingly relevant still
When you're so woke that you discriminate against gays because you love them.
and you are onion and start 10 years before everyone else
Twitter movements in a nutshell
God bless America and her gays
You know, I like murder but war is just too noisy so thanks for the discrimination bestie😌
That's transcending being woke and becoming a full-on insomniac instead
"How many men's lives equal one gay"
Bro without blinking:
"Seven"🤣🤣🤣
😅😅😅
It’s just scientific fact.
He literally blinked as he said that
@@michaelmonstar4276 what scientific fact ?
Go back to your dream alien
Not rocket science
has it really been 16 years?...
This video is older than me but im JUST now getting it on my FYP.
As a pure minded gay homosexual, I thank the heterosexuals who shield me from the horrors of war.
I thank the REAL MEN who shield me .....................
Thank you for your service
@@za9393i dont know what youre implying. Nothing more manly than 2 men
@@mixedvibes9613Except for three men
@@unconcernedcitizen4092 ah, my apologies
If WW3 ever breaks out I’m kissing the first guy I see
Rules have changed fool. If you did that you would just be gay. Pretend to be transgender. That's what works now I think.
(Btw 2010 was the year the military allowed gays to serve.)
So you're confessing you are gay if we are all going to die?
I mean alright but I think you shouldn't be afraid to come out before then.
@@bryan0x05 I’m not gay but I’d kiss a dude idk what the means
@@dimthecat9418 that sounds pretty gay to me.
@@dimthecat9418 that means gay or bi
That fact this got recommended to me during Pride month lmfaoo
Happy Pride Month!
I am a straight heterosexual man currently on the way to enlist in the military. Don't worry gays, I and seven other soldiers will be ready to protect you and even risk our lives doing so. Consider this as a promise.
o7
A BI guy thanks you for your service.
@The Real Joe Biden eh, it’s more like I can eat both tuna and sardines. Same number of fish in the sea, I just get to eat both.
Thank you 🙏😔
Thank you, heterosexual. We appreciate your dedication.
Life, liberty, and the pursuit of protecting homosexuals
You'll never get me aliiiiive!!!
Im an American!!
o7
I like how no one recognize this quote
@@hotdog0275 I don't
@@MargaritaMagdalena ay it is the declaration of independence ay
This video comes up on my reccomendations randomly every few years and I watch it everytime
Rewatch this but just read the feed at the bottom of the screen
Sometimes I believe the onion is just a news network from an alternate dimension where humanity is just slightly more wholesome and weird.
Me, thinking back to the report on cutting off a childs life support because she just looks at her smartphone and rolls her eyes.
ah, yes.
One where the hapless fuckwits can't even handle an omelette.
Wholesome?
Isn't it satire ? Isn't the point of satire to make fun of concepts and people by showing how ridiculous they can get ?
Aren't some people already idolising homosexuals ?
Oh and most importantly... How is that wholesome ?
“God Bless America and her gays” gets me every time
😂😂
Unironically ZOG’s creed
It's so based
Are you assuming America's gender?
That needs to be a t shirt.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 "a snow white colt. We must protect them" this man for President Right Now
16 years later, pride month, what a day
"How many soldiers lives is the worth of one bisexual man?"
"3.5"
*starts stating the ratio of "every gender"*
None
And then I saw that this man was no general at all, but the Loch Ness monster!
@@noobyfromhell
Three fitty!!!
THIZ KILLZ ME IM DYING CURRENTLY
"God bless America and her gays" I died
I died on seven.
I died seven times
😂 😂 😂
I bet Lady Gaga stole that line from the general lmao
"for God and the Gays"
WTF 😂😂😂😭
My guy didn't even stutter with that seven. Not even a second thought. Like 1+1=2.
I got this in my recommended during Pride month of 2024
Same
I think the algorithm is self aware, there's no way this was a coincidence
General at gays: precious sweetheart so precious
General at straights: FIGHT FOR OUR TWINKS, NON-BINARY BABIES, PILLOW PRINCESSES, OUR TRANS KINGS AND QUEENS
As they should.
Neocons/neolibs be like.
AngelusVastator
stfu✨
yess
TheSaidd Kitsune
yes it’s bad
1:12 "Boring guy dies". Poor boring guy 😢
F
Eh, he was a 7th of a man anyways.
Same as the episode about Annoying man get his First Amendment rights taken away hahaha.
He will be missed
😐😑😔🙁😢😭
This is my first Onion video!
"30,000 people drafted to live in Nebraska" The text crawl is fucking genius.
Lmao never noticed that
Oh my god
“Boring man dies”
you should see the text on the subway one "fast places insist food servings should not be measured in feet"/
sometimes on onion vids i don't even pay attention to the ppl talking and just read the scrolling news headlines XD
LMAO. HE SAID “7” SO QUICKLY.
God bless America and her gays lmao
i am so weak from laughing rn
No
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@Maria Garcia he literally said her gays but pop off🥴
Day 640 of adding useless pronouns wherever they fit:
If it weren't for relics such as this, no one would ever believe there was a time when the Onion was funny
Gay person) "Oh I broke a nail"
Army General) "Get that man a Medic sergeant!"
Soldier in the corner with a bullet wound: *:')*
@@hollybutler4885 It’s fine he’s one of seven lmao
Don’t worry my nails are too short to break. God bless.
@@frostyskeletons8950 -America and her gays
@@frostyskeletons8950 you do Not know how much Joy I got from just making that joke
Honestly, I think the funniest part is the news scroll on the bottom.
"US Mathmaticians Round Pi Down to Three," killed me.
No
Yes
So
Meh
TRU!
Thanks for the chuckle!
that delivery of “Seven” sent me
Ok, I’m looosing my mind seeing how many people are asking if this is real or not. Cmon guys. It’s obviously real. The onion has never lied before, so I’d doubt they would start now
Exactly
I hope that one day they will understand
Well it would have been 13 years ago, not now.
"C'mon man!"
This Is fake no doubt
*When war breaks out*
Me: You know, I'm somewhat of a homosexual myself.
You'll be required to prove your orientation in front of seven seven star Generals..It's the law.
@@stephenpmurphy591 RAM RANCH
@@PinkOrangeOrangePink 😂
@@PinkOrangeOrangePink bro wtf😂
(・_・;)
I don't think I fully comprehend the exchange rate.
If you're bisexual, are you worth exactly 3 1/2 soldiers? I'm polysexual, would we need to find our own percentages based on the number of genders we're attracted to?
Oh god, pansexuals are so expensive!
Bisexuals are worth 3
Polys are worth 5
Pansexual are 6
AroAces are 9
actually because of inflation gays are now worth 12
@@GasperV0if the number of equivalency to straight people increases based on the number of types of people they can be attracted to, why would the aroace community be worth 9 per individual?
I love how he has an exact number of how many soldiers a gay person is worth
"30,000 people drafted to live in Nebraska" o my god 😂😂😂
The horror
Oof that's worse than getting drafted for the hunger games
So if you can get drafted to live in nebraska and I have lived there all my life doesn't that make me a professional Nebraskan?
@Mansoor Shakeel achievement unlocked! The good life! Be recognized as a veteran Nebraskan.
"Served two tours in Omaha... lost a lot of men. Something that always comes from war is regret, and I have a lot of regrets that follow me like ghosts that haunt graves. I still hear the screams, sometimes..."
the definitive "seven" killed me
Rip
He said it like it’s an elementary fact that everyone already knows lol
Comedic genius
Literally is your straight. We have to protect our precious homosexuals.
YES