How to Not Get Murdered When Hooking Up - Natasha Vaynblat - Stand-Up Featuring

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  • Опубликовано: 14 янв 2019
  • Natasha Vaynblat describes tutoring New York City children, attempts to explain a woman’s surreal makeup and shares her strategy for how to safely hook up with a stranger. (Contains strong language.)
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Комментарии • 717

  • @omnium_gatherum
    @omnium_gatherum 5 лет назад +1233

    "Thank God you're here. He's.. SO small"
    😂😂

  • @ryanbuell4587
    @ryanbuell4587 5 лет назад +4432

    I like how conversational her delivery style is. Like she's not making a big show of being on a stage/holding a mic. She's just telling funny stories like we're her friends.

    • @CCartman69
      @CCartman69 5 лет назад +165

      friends? Oh shit, did she just teach me shapes? That bitch! ;p

    • @savanahstrange
      @savanahstrange 5 лет назад +6

      I hope to have that comedy style one day lol

    • @TheNews1990
      @TheNews1990 5 лет назад +2

      Agreed... but the fucked up part is she just suggested what Winestein, and a whole bunch of others over the past year have done as a viable option for dating someone. They all had Air P-in-Vs... They even called them that. Just like she just did. It sounded like some sort of sexual assault cult. He "time shared" an apartment he owned with Mario Batalli (and a few others), and that's how they found out they called it an Air P-in-V.

    • @cp_digital
      @cp_digital 5 лет назад +1

      Ryan Buell it was an okay set, didn't find it lol funny. I Prefer standups like jb Smoove or Brody Stevens. I like when comics get animated, it keeps me engaged. different strokes for folks, I guess

    • @Vomitcake
      @Vomitcake 5 лет назад +4

      I don’t need anymore friends

  • @yahkovfreeman5720
    @yahkovfreeman5720 5 лет назад +3162

    The “burly homosexual man” part got me😂

    • @DissociatedWomenIncorporated
      @DissociatedWomenIncorporated 5 лет назад +36

      I _definitely_ need to hire a bear as a bodyguard.

    • @DissociatedWomenIncorporated
      @DissociatedWomenIncorporated 5 лет назад +11

      @@confusedwhale, I mean I know you were trying to be funny and all, but have you never heard of the concept of shifts?

    • @dOVERanalyst
      @dOVERanalyst 5 лет назад +5

      @@DissociatedWomenIncorporated what's a shift?

    • @DissociatedWomenIncorporated
      @DissociatedWomenIncorporated 5 лет назад +13

      @@dOVERanalyst, you know, like a work shift. A bear does a few hours, then another bear comes in, relieves him of duty. So there's always _someone_ there, but it's not the same person all the time.

    • @dOVERanalyst
      @dOVERanalyst 5 лет назад +5

      @@DissociatedWomenIncorporated ah, right right...my bad..I work in shifts, myself. I'm an RJ. But, suddenly the bear thing got me somewhere else...
      Thanks for taking the time to explain!
      instagram.com/rjmrunmayee

  • @adamcochran1309
    @adamcochran1309 5 лет назад +2872

    She dresses like a 90's teacher. I didn't know those shirts still existed.

    • @MCAndyT
      @MCAndyT 5 лет назад +126

      It's in again. 18 year old college students dress like this now!

    • @civildissension
      @civildissension 5 лет назад +113

      Young ladies dress like old pedophiles now. It really confuses the pedophiles.

    • @thomasbarchen
      @thomasbarchen 5 лет назад +24

      @@civildissension Yeah, now who would have thought that pedophile fashion would be the thing today?

    • @nyknoco2866
      @nyknoco2866 5 лет назад +4

      What are those shirts called?

    • @HerveBoisde
      @HerveBoisde 5 лет назад +41

      She makes the mom jeans look kinda hot too.

  • @brettabraham
    @brettabraham 5 лет назад +2554

    I love her delivery. It always feels like there's another part of the joke coming and keeps you listening intently

  • @Dazyet
    @Dazyet 5 лет назад +923

    “Is this the man of my dreams or is he going to put me to sleep forever” 😭😂😭

    • @lemaygaming6952
      @lemaygaming6952 4 года назад +26

      @Badger BadgerBadger Seek help.

    • @Ameborl
      @Ameborl 4 года назад +6

      Haha! Yea first time I went to a guy’s apartment I didn’t know very well I straight up told him “Hey, my sister has your name & address and if I don’t check in with her at a pre-set time she will call the cops.” You never know who you can trust first time.

    • @phrogtime1513
      @phrogtime1513 4 года назад +2

      I thought she was gonna say “is this the man of my dreams or just my soulmate”

    • @veronicastandridge4541
      @veronicastandridge4541 4 года назад +1

      Or third or fourth time.

    • @margaritam.9118
      @margaritam.9118 4 года назад +1

      Badger BadgerBadger ok I’m gonna convince you you’re my sugar daddy, open your wallet, sir 😌

  • @Noble713
    @Noble713 5 лет назад +1672

    Re: her "AirP&V" idea ....the Japanese have already mastered this, they are called "love hotels". Basically hotel rooms with condoms, karaoke machines, mood lighting, and opulent bathrooms that you rent for ~3 hours just for hook-ups. Great for keeping your Tinder matches from knowing where you live.

    • @drunkenrobot3976
      @drunkenrobot3976 5 лет назад +233

      But what about the burly homosexual man?

    • @mellodees3663
      @mellodees3663 5 лет назад +200

      @@drunkenrobot3976He's listening in a conjoined room.

    • @reggaemuffin838
      @reggaemuffin838 5 лет назад +53

      we have those in argentina, with mirrors in the ceiling and jacuzzis

    • @sparecoochiemaam2562
      @sparecoochiemaam2562 5 лет назад +40

      It’s about time. I’m tired of meth heads threatening to murder me and my family after I didn’t answer my phone when we sposed to hook up

    • @whatteamwildcats4033
      @whatteamwildcats4033 5 лет назад +64

      @@sparecoochiemaam2562 I was actually excited about dating but after reading that, nevermind dying alone sounds good

  • @platystrophia
    @platystrophia 5 лет назад +728

    I LOVE a good cubism joke!

  • @zyxwut321
    @zyxwut321 5 лет назад +713

    Boomboxes, e-mail, high waisted mom jeans, oversized glasses, drab page boy haircut. Did I stumble upon a particularly well preserved 1990s comedy routine?

    • @eleanortaylor4768
      @eleanortaylor4768 5 лет назад +21

      I guess the look has come back in cause im 19 and this is how me and all my pals dress, didn't know it was a 90s style, huh.

    • @queenannsrevenge100
      @queenannsrevenge100 5 лет назад +35

      In the 80s teens were imitating some 60s styles, in the 90s they were imitating some 70s styles, in the 00s some 80s styles - we just keep recycling pieces of decades over and over again 😁

    • @USBEN.
      @USBEN. 5 лет назад +2

      Bruh u saw a real wahmen .

    • @GundamGokuTV
      @GundamGokuTV 4 года назад +12

      @@queenannsrevenge100 It's the 20/30 year nostalgia cycle. Think about it. What's really big in media right now? IT, Stranger Things, Blade Runner, they are remaking and recreating what people remember the 80s as. In the 70s it was the 1950s, think Grease, the 80s it was the 50s and 60s Back to the Future and Hairspray for example. In the 90s/00s you had people looking back to the 70s. That 70s Show ran from 1998-2006. Boogie Nights and Dazed and Confused take place in the 1970s and were released in the 1990s. Right now the 80s are nostalgic for a lot of people. But I can already see the trend of 90s nostalgia coming to the fore front. As someone born in 1993 I love stuff from the 90s and I've seen plenty of kids on campus wearing Blockbuster and Polaroid T-Shirts. Soon you'll be seeing more 90s inspired movies. Give it 5 years and the 80s trend will have been replaced with the 90s trend. It's weird we are a people that are always wishing for the good old days.

    • @Kazekoge101
      @Kazekoge101 4 года назад +2

      GundamGoku (scoffs while driving away in rickety 2003 Camry)

  • @invisiblebully171
    @invisiblebully171 5 лет назад +919

    The tutor joke was very clever and witty I lol

    • @TakeAsNeeded4Pain
      @TakeAsNeeded4Pain 5 лет назад

      Ya, that joke would've killed if she was doing a set at the Home for Seniors or in a teacher's lounge.

  • @ishipitlikefedex2610
    @ishipitlikefedex2610 5 лет назад +167

    "not like a grizzly bear, but like a burly homosexual who will wrestle him into submission" I'm in tears and my family doesn't know what's going on because a can't breathe to tell them 🤣

  • @Grayyv12
    @Grayyv12 5 лет назад +356

    2:06
    I could only think about “maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s clinical depression”

    • @mennaebrahim4930
      @mennaebrahim4930 5 лет назад

      OMG same!!

    • @sonquatsch8585
      @sonquatsch8585 4 года назад +1

      i thought totally maybe it's maybelline. but her 90s late 80s get up had me in that era already.

    • @ahxel8173
      @ahxel8173 4 года назад +2

      she said "maybe she invented cubism", not clinical depression.

  • @bluestrife28
    @bluestrife28 5 лет назад +380

    I just decided I love her. The bear twist joke at the end sold it. She has a deadpan way like Wendy Leiberman one of my childhood fave comedians . New fan!

    • @marching27
      @marching27 4 года назад

      was drinking coffee when she did the bear joke-- almost choked and died. Sold.

  • @donloxy24
    @donloxy24 5 лет назад +733

    Holy shit she used to teach atmy high school. I had her for my third period English class

    • @nicksheerin6520
      @nicksheerin6520 5 лет назад +18

      Was she cool

    • @danpina17
      @danpina17 5 лет назад +274

      Sorry you hate making friends now

    • @vadaski5038
      @vadaski5038 5 лет назад +19

      Did you smash...

    • @donloxy24
      @donloxy24 5 лет назад +6

      pineappledaddy lol huh?

    • @donloxy24
      @donloxy24 5 лет назад +57

      Nikki Sheerin one of the coolest teach upped her humour game too

  • @YayaIsSilly
    @YayaIsSilly 5 лет назад +200

    Was not prepared for a bear joke 😂

  • @JasonB95
    @JasonB95 5 лет назад +21

    Her delivery was spot on. The conversational tone and pace made it way more interesting. I found myself chuckling nonstop even between the jokes.

  • @mynameisntleo
    @mynameisntleo 5 лет назад +73

    This lady is great. I hope she gets an hour special, I'm sure she deserves it and could easily fill it with material.

  • @realnovadamus
    @realnovadamus 5 лет назад +130

    Her flow is excellent.

  • @SmilingJack100
    @SmilingJack100 5 лет назад +40

    Entire set was 100% worth it just for "Air P in V" such a good pun!

  • @Seapatico
    @Seapatico 5 лет назад +1071

    That was fantastic

    • @jacobtech7
      @jacobtech7 5 лет назад +6

      I think she could have really good dry comedy if she tried to. Not many people like it dry (phrasing), but I think she'd rock it

    • @JiBenJiBee
      @JiBenJiBee 5 лет назад +1

      I really enjoyed it as well.

    • @TheNews1990
      @TheNews1990 5 лет назад

      Agreed... but the fucked up part is she just suggested what Winestein, and a whole bunch of others over the past year have done as a viable option for dating someone. They all had Air P-in-Vs... They even called them that. Just like she just did. It sounded like some sort of sexual assault cult. He "time shared" an apartment he owned with Mario Batalli (and a few others), and that's how they found out they called it an Air P-in-V.

  • @c.d.b.1010
    @c.d.b.1010 5 лет назад +2

    That was a super fun watch. She was IN her performance. Like in that flow, you know? Her style is just so... pleasing. She is a master storyteller, for sure.

  • @Gravyman
    @Gravyman 5 лет назад +22

    At first I thought she was dressed in a 90's outfit for fun, then she mentioned kids with a boombox and I was completely mindfucked! "Was this actually filmed in the 90's?!?! She looks like a female Seinfeld. It can't be, but she looks so young though. How the fuck is the video quality so good??" Then she started talking about Facebook posts and I was relieved.

    • @cmays7094
      @cmays7094 5 лет назад +1

      90s style is back!

  • @samc4201
    @samc4201 5 лет назад +69

    I didn't expect this to be as funny as it was

  • @0Y0L
    @0Y0L 5 лет назад +286

    Really clean funny jokes. obviously intelligent. she's very sweet, with dark crazy side possibly/hopefully. Definitely one of the top ones from what I've seen lately.

  • @han7era
    @han7era 5 лет назад +7

    2:53.... SO ADORABLE! I love her giggle so much, I love her so much??? Send help, I’m swooning.

  • @NomNomGirl1
    @NomNomGirl1 5 лет назад +167

    This should have more views. She’s really funny

    • @ColoRADbro420
      @ColoRADbro420 5 лет назад +3

      It will get way more views. It was just released today. I agree though she is funny

  • @Sammipewpew
    @Sammipewpew 4 года назад +99

    She’s wearing the bisexual uniform

    • @gwynneio
      @gwynneio 3 года назад +3

      Oh yeah I have that outft. And that haircut

    • @tanvikejriwal1
      @tanvikejriwal1 3 года назад +7

      I had that outfit since before I realized I was bisexual. My body knew 😂😂😂

  • @lunafrankenstein2566
    @lunafrankenstein2566 5 лет назад +35

    Hilarious and very well written, can't wait to hear more.

  • @rainbowslushy223
    @rainbowslushy223 5 лет назад +33

    i'm really liking the support for female comics

  • @martinpotts
    @martinpotts 5 лет назад +58

    She’s good 👌🏻

  • @kspooks
    @kspooks 4 года назад +3

    Burly homosexual man that will wrestle him into submission got me 😂😂

  • @jordancarey8907
    @jordancarey8907 4 года назад +7

    I'm totally stealing this "is this the man of my dreams, or the one who puts me to sleep forever"

  • @KevinTKeith
    @KevinTKeith 3 года назад +1

    First time I've seen her. She's just great!

  • @supakawaii69
    @supakawaii69 4 года назад +2

    Flawless set and delivery !! Love her !

  • @zeroxeroFX
    @zeroxeroFX 4 года назад +1

    She’s so smart. Wish there were more comedians like her.

  • @wetflowers
    @wetflowers 5 лет назад +3

    she’s so good! clever and genuinely funny. she seems like a great friend to have :)

  • @opiyomack5754
    @opiyomack5754 5 лет назад +3

    This is golden!

  • @nightcoresubliminals2038
    @nightcoresubliminals2038 4 года назад +3

    I made the bear joke in my head and then cried laughing when she said it XD

  • @Ramonerdna
    @Ramonerdna 5 лет назад +8

    The cubism joke is on a whole other level though

  • @KittySnicker
    @KittySnicker 5 лет назад +13

    “Thank God you’re here. He’s so small.”

  • @bearfamous_
    @bearfamous_ 5 лет назад +11

    She's so charming

  • @zuzannatomaszewicz6420
    @zuzannatomaszewicz6420 5 лет назад +1

    We need more of her ! She is great 😄

  • @briannahile2417
    @briannahile2417 5 лет назад +4

    She is hilarious, I could have watched her tell jokes for an hour! Wish the video was longer.

  • @michellea.4243
    @michellea.4243 5 лет назад +3

    That was suprt enjoyable, I hope i get to watch her again!!

  • @TurdSandwich12345
    @TurdSandwich12345 5 лет назад

    That was great!

  • @zionakinjide650
    @zionakinjide650 5 лет назад +4

    you can't not be funny with her sense of style...love it.

  • @hxshxt3530
    @hxshxt3530 5 лет назад

    Great delivery, great content, amazing job

  • @estebeerwinkel6198
    @estebeerwinkel6198 5 лет назад

    Brilliant, with useful tips 💯

  • @hasseaouled6032
    @hasseaouled6032 5 лет назад +2

    She has the most adorable delivery lol

  • @jrod1845
    @jrod1845 5 лет назад

    Love it. Nice job

  • @AlexaBellaMuerte
    @AlexaBellaMuerte 4 года назад +2

    "No thanks I got enough worksheets" i Lol'd

  • @MsZephyra
    @MsZephyra 5 лет назад

    Laughed out loud - good set and delivery!

  • @Kuskdk
    @Kuskdk 5 лет назад +3

    Loved that cubism joke - very intelligent

  • @AndreJungermann
    @AndreJungermann 5 лет назад +4

    Air PnV XD that was wonderful

  • @sportyjen62
    @sportyjen62 5 лет назад +3

    real witty set!

  • @OldRaver
    @OldRaver 5 лет назад +1

    Love smart humour.
    More!!

  • @alisky8551
    @alisky8551 5 лет назад

    That was refreshingly funny!

  • @markmcgwincomedy
    @markmcgwincomedy 5 лет назад +2

    This chick is fantastic. I'll have to keep my eyes out for her. Maybe one of the funniest up-and-coming comedians I've seen in a while

  • @MrTacoSr
    @MrTacoSr 4 года назад

    What a natural style! Good jokes, and even better delivery

  • @David-su2lb
    @David-su2lb 5 лет назад +5

    She's awesome

  • @ThrifterPickerShipper
    @ThrifterPickerShipper 5 лет назад

    Love her comedy, she is great!

  • @dmitriykozmin3091
    @dmitriykozmin3091 4 года назад

    amazing!

  • @Shinyshoesz
    @Shinyshoesz 3 года назад

    Loved it. Enormously creative :)

  • @JJ-mu3um
    @JJ-mu3um 4 года назад

    Just awesome

  • @PedroCarvalhoLC43
    @PedroCarvalhoLC43 4 года назад

    her stories kept being better! i'm hooked!

  • @lizchehovskaya
    @lizchehovskaya 5 лет назад +3

    That's soooo hilarious!

  • @paulleisureman6189
    @paulleisureman6189 4 года назад

    Great set, super funy

  • @meadowshorerecords8138
    @meadowshorerecords8138 5 лет назад

    Great set... Shes great!

  • @crimsonraen
    @crimsonraen 3 года назад

    Hahaha This was so great! :D

  • @shethewriter
    @shethewriter 5 лет назад

    Oh man she’s great. Will watch more!!

  • @alexbirch7665
    @alexbirch7665 5 лет назад +27

    Fantastic comedy, also I'm distracted by your beautiful shirt. I want it so badly 😊

    • @nvaynblat
      @nvaynblat 5 лет назад +16

      Alex! That shirt is one of my favorites, so glad you spotted it! I got it at a thrift store in Brooklyn.The brand name is Sybill.

    • @hkskings
      @hkskings 5 лет назад

      Natasha Vaynblat congrats you got a new sub.

    • @nvaynblat
      @nvaynblat 5 лет назад +1

      @@hkskings Amazing!

  • @brilleargasm7342
    @brilleargasm7342 4 года назад

    Brilliant!

  • @nii_amart
    @nii_amart 5 лет назад

    great set...

  • @daniellolp
    @daniellolp 5 лет назад

    This is really good stuff

  • @LukeAurio
    @LukeAurio 5 лет назад +41

    Man. If only we could see more of her work Every. Damn. Day. *Hmmm*

  • @clumsiii
    @clumsiii 5 лет назад +1

    good shit!

  • @destinya874
    @destinya874 4 года назад

    She is GOOOOOD

  • @lafitatafita497
    @lafitatafita497 5 лет назад +3

    *SHES HILARIOUS*

  • @professormancaptain4210
    @professormancaptain4210 5 лет назад

    That pool in money joke at the end is great.

  • @things_i_say5951
    @things_i_say5951 5 лет назад +163

    Yay! A funny woman that looks like a human being. Jeans, tennis shoes, comfort. Loved her jokes.

    • @Ls20
      @Ls20 5 лет назад +32

      "looks like a human being" ..... as opposed to what?

    • @things_i_say5951
      @things_i_say5951 5 лет назад +2

      @@Ls20 Barbie

    • @Ls20
      @Ls20 5 лет назад +15

      @@things_i_say5951 I guess you haven't watched a lot of funny women then

    • @flacidhouse350
      @flacidhouse350 5 лет назад +1

      @@things_i_say5951 Yeah, Jeneane Garofalo and Paula Poundstone really set an unattainable standard of beauty.

    • @josyjump
      @josyjump 5 лет назад

      @@Ls20 point was she isn't all fake eye lashes n tits out.. I'd imagine..

  • @adamarens3520
    @adamarens3520 4 года назад

    Her voice is my ASMR, I love it.

  • @EH012
    @EH012 5 лет назад

    She's so gooooood! More funny content there than in half an hour of other comics

  • @hiroshir
    @hiroshir 4 года назад

    Love all the art references. Liked!

  • @kathleent6150
    @kathleent6150 5 лет назад +8

    Lol, I do the bread crumb thing too 😅

  • @pamelawright5043
    @pamelawright5043 5 лет назад

    That was really good.

  • @evildoesnotsleep-x2b
    @evildoesnotsleep-x2b 5 лет назад +3

    love her routine

  • @WorldWideAmbient
    @WorldWideAmbient 5 лет назад +1

    Witty comedy. Love it

  • @finnsterling6514
    @finnsterling6514 2 года назад

    She's awesome.

  • @alainaswoveland3022
    @alainaswoveland3022 5 лет назад +1

    3:12 is so relatable though, like even with everyday things like I'll smile and wave at a stranger passing by (if I'm in a safe location obviously I dot need that going wrong) and in the back of my head i just go "what if that lady/guy is a f ing serial killer" they now know I'm friendly,dammit.

  • @oliverwilson11
    @oliverwilson11 4 года назад +3

    1:00 I like how the 5 year old New York kid has the same voice as Bernie Sanders 😂

  • @nawasaka
    @nawasaka 5 лет назад

    SO GOOD

  • @margaritam.9118
    @margaritam.9118 4 года назад

    I fall in love with her watching Your Worst Fears Confirmed.

  • @JavierFernandez01
    @JavierFernandez01 5 лет назад

    How did I not see this yet?!

  • @r.s.mendoza8085
    @r.s.mendoza8085 5 лет назад +4

    Solid set. Nice flow. Where's the rest?

  • @polarisgemini52
    @polarisgemini52 5 лет назад +63

    Female Comedian: H
    Men in the comments section: SHE'S BETTER THAN AMY SCHUMER

  • @guillaumefunke3649
    @guillaumefunke3649 4 года назад

    She KILLS IT

  • @chriscraig8832
    @chriscraig8832 5 лет назад +6

    Funny and cute!

  • @dearchloe3175
    @dearchloe3175 5 лет назад

    Omg, YES with the teaching NYC kids

  • @cieraleal6412
    @cieraleal6412 5 лет назад

    The way she talks is so nice 😂

  • @CassandraDarling
    @CassandraDarling 5 лет назад

    dude friggin amazing