Dan Cummins: TRYING TO GET BETTER [FULL Comedy Standup Special]
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- Опубликовано: 31 май 2024
- Recorded in Minneapolis at The Parkway Theater on Saturday, December 10th, Dan's 4th hour special (following Crazy with a Capital F, Don't Wake the Bear, and Get Outta Here; Devil!) is his best.
Recorded in front of an enthusiastic audience of Timesuck podcast fans, and fans of his Scared to Death podcast as well, Dan talks about everything from the nonsensical political polarization of America, to abortion rights, to hunting, how modern language expectations could destroy his style of comedy, the problem with the intersection of religion and politics, and much more. All in his signature style of social commentary and sarcastic absurdism. Please watch, like, subscribe, and share!!
00:00 Intro
00:47 We're All Random D**kheads
02:29 Hold On To Your Apocalypse Horses
03:31 Bill Gates' Evil Beakers
05:19 Holocaust Denier Holocaust
05:46 Your God Is Ronald McDonald
10:51 You Don't Have to Be FOX or CNN
12:37 Nobody Knows What Sky Daddy Wants
15:49 Every Joke Has a Victim
22:07 Bend the Knee
26:49 Glory Be To Gilead!
34:28 Hunting Is a Kindess
36:52 A Happy Family Hunting Tale
40:06 RIP Richard Bartholomew Cummins
44:32 Sloths and Sea Turtles
47:34 Emo Sad-Boy Owls
51:37 Creepy Mama Bird
56:02 Match the Photo Voting Test
57:46 Maybe The Fart Jar Crowd Shouldn't Vote
1:00:46 Vote For Cummins/Hotdog Anderson
1:04:41 Get Out Of Your Echo Chamber, Crybaby
1:07:16 Perseverance Fairy
Check out tour dates: dancummins.tv/
THANK YOU for supporting this independent, self-funded project! If this special can get enough views to support another tour, I'll make another special. But I can't do that without your support!
The best way to support me? Come see me LIVE! Bring friends, coworkers, family, anyone you can! dancummins.tv/tickets/
Don’t see your city? I’ll be announcing a 2024 theater tour soon full of ALL NEW material.
Follow me on all socials for updates, or listen to the Timesuck and/or Scared to Death podcasts.
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More About Dan:
Dan is a comic and podcaster currently living in Couer d'Alene, Idaho with his wife and children. Dan’s unique blend of dark absurdism and storytelling began in Spokane, Washington over 20 years ago at a comedy open mic in the corner of a sports bar.
In 2006, Dan's standup first appeared on television, appearing on Comedy Central's Live at Gotham and on the Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson. In 2008, he had his first televised special with a Comedy Central Presents 1/2 hour. In 2010, Comedy Central gave him an hour special, Crazy with a Capital F, that was also later licensed for several years to Netflix. He also appeared on The Tonight Show (appearing again 4 years later). Dan's appearance on Comedy Central's This is Not Happening in 2015 has almost 4 million views. In 2012, he released the third of five comedy albums on Warner Brothers Records, Hear This!, which became one of the top spinning comedy albums on Pandora and made Dan one of Pandora's most popular comedians, racking up over 500 million spins and over 400,000 stations created. In 2016, he released the hour special, Don't Wake the Bear, on Amazon. In 2020, Get Outta Here; Devil! followed on Amazon. Both currently hold 4.5/5 star ratings or better. Dan also hosts two very popular podcasts, Timesuck and Scared to Death. Timesuck has been downloaded/streamed over 100 million times, and Scared to Death has been downloaded/streamed over 50 million times.
#dancummins #standupcomedy #comedy
Dan Cummins: TRYING TO GET BETTER [FULL Comedy Standup Special] 
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THANK YOU so much for all the support! Blown away by the views and response in the first week! HOW CAN YOU HELP/SUPPORT?
Watch this special until the end and then like, comment, subscribe, and share! It's all about RUclips's algorithm. The more engagement and the more love this special gets, the more it will be recommended to new viewers, which is how I make new fans, and get to keep touring to make new specials.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DOING ANY OF THIS! It helps SO much.
Also - if you like it - come see me LIVE! And bring everyone you know! dancummins.tv/
Don’t see your city, we’ll be announcing a 2024 theater tour soon.
Every show is new material that hasn’t been released yet.
Follow me on all socials for updates:
Instagram: instagram.com/dancumminscomedy
Facebook: facebook.com/dancumminscomedy
TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@dancumminscomedy
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!
You sir, are an inspiration 😅
Hilarious, but the Gates 🐓🍭ing was really odd. Considering he went to Jeffrey's Island 36 times
7:38 Who let Dan in my front yard?
😂@@skeetorkiftwon
Even if he was in on the Epstein stuff, that still wouldn't make him an evil illuminati mass poisoner of humanity in general @@a.k.4o
I'm just so glad something good could come from a man whose father is one of the most prolific serial killers to ever walk the earth. I would like to think Dan's comedy somewhat offsets the horrific deeds of his dad.
Not only is Dan's dad a serial killer, he also burned down the Library of Alexandria and because he did we don't have the knowledge to create fireballs!!
Gosh Dang! Oh my heck!
He read my comment on timesuck! I have achieved greatness.
I'm a huge timesuck fan
Girl what
It takes a special kind of finesse to insult every audience member in the room on some level and yet everyone still leaves smiling. Loved it!
hahaha. Glad you noticed that! It keeps it interesting for me.
Oh please do better then that.
@@BadMagicProductions Keep Preachin'~!!!
@@BadMagicProductions And Sky Daddy wants you to keep the topical funny pourin' up! Keep turning our polluted waters into wine, Dan!
And to get people laughing at abortion jokes! Well done!
This special has the best opening joke. I live for the delivery, and the look in his eyes, when he says “who the fuck are you?” 😂
Thank you!! 😂
Best standup special by an adult keychain maker I’ve personally ever witnessed. Comedic gold, 3 out of 5 stars, wouldn’t change a thing.
Fuck your stars he's on his on scale that's incomparable to anyone. Good sentiment nonetheless just rude af to put it that way remember that
Oh my heck gosh dang! Can't wait to crack open a can of WHIPPLE and watch this.
NIMROD..... IS PLEASED!!
Dan, you will never know how grateful I am for you and this little world you've built in my head. Between your comedy and podcasts, I have been able to walk through some of the most difficult times in my life because of the laughter and perspective you've brought me. With all I've got, thank you. And much much love!!
- Chaotic Neutral Cosmic Reptile
that is so incredibly kind! Glad that Bad Magic and Dan can be something you can count on .
Thank for watching! And I'm so glad that I've been a part of your journey for the past few years. Much love right back at you. Hail Nimrod!
He truly built a community filled with like minded people that support each other. Get so much love from any platform and when I run into a fellow sucker in person, we just start to talk and laugh. I cry for the people that have not heard him. Also, RIP Dick B Cummins
Can we have a moment of silence for Dick B Cummins? Dick, even if we didn't know him, dick was important to us all. I actually remember the first time I met Dick. He was firm, but soft. Letting me get used to him and his ways inside me. He stood straight and erect. Dick never slouched in my presence and always gave it to me straight. A few times he had to give me a pounding for not be a good boy, but then, he filled me with love. RIP D.B.C. #letbillkill
It’s really brave what he does. Putting himself out there. Especially knowing damn well what his father did.
And his brother 🤫
What did they do
Everything. You don't wanna know.@@kevinmcdonald951
@@kevinmcdonald951his dad is the most prolific serial killer of all time.
Ok, what did he do…
From the top rated Bon Jovi cover artist to stand up comedian this man can do it all
The best thing about Dan is how he can piss me off and make me laugh at the same time, he’s truly a master mush mouth wordsmith.
Discovered Dan right before I got pregnant in 2019. His comedy and podcasts got me through a horrible and lonely relationship, helped me laugh my way out of postpartum depression, and because of Dan I met my now husband. Impacting so many lives for the better in so many ways.
CULT CULT CULT!
the only guy you'd get a hallpass with 😅
@@martiand1882 🤣
Best hour I've seen in a very long time. His flow is so perfect for each segment. Master of his craft!!!!
Thank you!!
Hes just kidding its second best to the second season of Pee-Wee's Playhouse@@BadMagicProductions
One of the best and most underrated comedians.
Thank you!
I agree 100% I've been listening to Dan for years and I expected this special to be in a sold out arena. My favorite comedian BY FAR ❤
Ive been working so hard on catching up on Timesuck, started in January of 2023. Currently on 341, love him so much! He has so much passion in everything he does! My wife and I saw him in bloomington this year and it was amazing! He has changed my life in such a positive way it's fantastic! Love you Dan!
Thank for watching! Please like and share!
Better than any Netflix comedy special by far!
thank you!
Oh, better than Dave Chapelle? Pull your head out your ass haha
I'd say better than most, exceptions are Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock, Tom Segura imo.
@@MultiTravellingman Plus a few more. Not that this isn´t a fucking amazing special. I laughed from start to finish.
I'm just glad that Dan took the treacherous journey and traveled through a black hole to entertain us
😂 “Mayor of fun town” - OMG! 😆 Dan is comedy gold!
"What shouldn't you give your baby?" Lady in the crowd: "Switchblade!". Dan thinking about the answer: "You can't give a baby a switchblade! Now another type of knife, that depends on the dexterity of the baybyyyyy."
Built such a great community. ❤
❤
Thank you Dan!!! I’ve been following Bad Magic for a few years now. In a really bad spot tonight decided to hide from the world and watch this. Timesuck and Scared To Death are two things I look forward to every week. You guys are like family. Thanks for everything brother
I've been listening to this in bits at the gym to get me through my cardio. Really hard to not die laughing at the Dick B Cummins part. RIP in peace Dick.
My husband showed me timesuck, I'm obsessed with scared to death by my own right. Can't wait to see this!
Thank you!
Welcome on board ...
Love this guy. If you haven't seen him live, go! We've seen him three times, and will again when he's in the neighborhood
The part where he ate the peanut butter from a plate after he shat it out is pure gold! SHOWBIZ!!!
One of the best comics/podcasters/overall human beings stricks again with this hilarious new special. You can't be sad and listen to Dan Cummins, it's impossible.
My wife and I are so stoked for this! Our Sunday evening just got so much better. Much love to the Bad Magic crew from the East Coast ❤✌️ SHOWBIZ!
where on the east coast?
@@feversandmirrors Pennsylvania: home of the Amish, and so, SO much coal.
Nc part of Charlotte's most broadcast lmao
M
Absolutely fantastic! Just like Dan himself, his comedy just gets better and better over time!
3 out of 5 stars wouldn’t change a thing. Hail Lucifina!
I love how he calls out real life things and then spins it with other real life things. Making "touchy" subjects hilarious.
If Im upset, stressed, or just plain bored, Dan Cummins makes it better.🥰
Sometimes I regret what I say seconds before I even say it. Hail Nimrod!
I don't always think before I speak, because I like to be just as surprised as everyone else, at what comes out of my mouth..
I'm going to have to watch this on repeat all week 😅
please do! like and share!
I dont care how many people Dans dad has brutally murdered in cold blood or how many innocent bananas have been abused and used for sexual pleasure rather than enjoyed for their natural wonders. This is by far one of the best stand up specials i have seen in a long time. Its progressive but not restrained. Its conservative but not ignorant or dismissive. Its what a lot of people need right now, and i really hope it reaches people that have created personalities behind lopsided parties
Next level! Haven't grinned and laughed like this in a long time. Mucho respect Sir Cummins!
Been listening to him for years. Never disappoints! Thank you for all the laughs sir!
Thank you!
Thanks Dan! I'd have been happy to pay for it. It's amazing you gave it to us for free!❤
Easily in the running for best special of the year so far! FANTASTIC job, Dan!!
Perseverance Fairy has to be one of my all time favorite bits...When we heard it for the first time in Philly, I had literal tears streaming. Keep up the amazing work Dan! Hail Nimrod to you!
3 out of 5 stars. 100% recommended. Dan you have been my favorite comedian for years and years and this special is no different. Hail Nimrod! Hail Lucifina! Good boy Bojangles! And blessed be to MMM! ❤ Get this man a Netflix, Hulu, and Prime special now gosh dang!!!!
I saw this special 3 times in person, in Springfield Missouri, St. Louis Missouri, and Louisville Kentucky, and honestly it was worth seeing it that many times, I love everything Dan puts out and it was amazing to get to see him in person. Hail Nimrod 🖖
Thank for watching, Ethan! Please like and share!
Lucky you!
Dead-head traveling to see the same show three times? I get it.
I kid, I kid!
Love with all your heart.
Claus Swab is behind it. "Release the Kraken" was brilliant, doubt many got that haha
Listen, we all wish that Dan’s dad wasn’t the most prolific serial killer in all of history. And, we all wish that he didn’t completely level the library of Alexandria before we all got to learn about the ability to rule with magic fireballs. But, history is what it is. And, I feel Dan’s ability to make us laugh, more than makes up for his horrible father’s bad, bad deeds! Hail Lucifina. Good boy Bojangles, What is big deal??!!
Dan is always amazing. Hardest working podcaster and comedian. Please share.
I found Dan through Scared to Death which led me to Timesuck which led me to Dan’s comedy. I’m so happy we’re getting a full comedy special! Thanks for all the laughs, Dan ❤
You should listen to his earlier stuff when he was doing it full time befor the podcasts
Same route for me. So glad I found him too.
same route for me. I love the joke about his daughter being a sociopath
This special filled a hole in my heart as deep as a black hole, May the light from this special shine like a white giant for trillions of years to come.
How can Dan be so funny, with all of the pain his Dad has caused the families of his victims? Maybe someday, he’ll come clean and tell where the bodies are.
My husband and I sat down to watch this together tonight, and I swear this was the best Sunday we’ve had in a long time! Now my husband (who wants to start comedy) is on the couch writing a joke down 🥺 He’s so precious. Thank you so much for inspiring him! It was great to meet you a few years back in Cleveland. Hope to come to another show soon!!
If you're in Cleveland, the Funny Stop in Cuyahoga Falls does open mic nights. Good place to get started. Good luck to your hubby!
@@dorosz817 he is so excited to go! Thank you so much!!!
Dan, you have no idea how much I look forward to your new episodes of Timesuck and Scared To Death each week. You provide such a great community for all of us to be a part of and you are the best entertainer. I appreciate your wife, Lynze, too. I think the way you both work together really makes Bad Magic Productions superior to other entertainment businesses. Thank you for this standup special! You have my vote for three out of five stars!
That is so nice, Paul! I really appreciate you saying all that ❤
Literally the best! Love him, his stand up & the podcasts!!! I got to meet him & Lynze in Dallas in February. Such great humans! Love you Dan & Lynze!!!
Bad Magic didn't ship my nipple clamp keychain in discrete packaging and now my mailman won't make eye contact.
One of the best comedy specials I've seen in years! cry laughing the entire time! Literally Wouldn't change a a single word or comedic beat! Utter perfection!!
Three out of 5 stars
Thank you, Andrew!
amazing! like and share!
3 out of 5 stars, loved it dan. top notch as always 👌🏽
Me begrudgingly waiting until the kid s bedtime to watch this! Lol. Hubs and I have been like, we can't wait to watch Dan all weekend!
Words cannot express my excitement! Dan's the man!!!
First time ever hearing Dan. Hillarious, original and refreshing comedy😀
Check out his 'Dont Wake the Bear' album. It's my fav 🤌
Will do!
Dan has always been one of my favorite comics! Love his comedy! Another hilarious special!
Hail Lucifina! Praise Bojangles!
Saw him in Richmond last weekend working new material-what’s insane is, as good as this special is, his brand new, barely tested stuff is EVEN BETTER. You just keep getting better Dan, and that’s fn amazing man! So much love from NC.
Wow!! Thank you so much!!!
this guy should be running for the Senate!
I'd vote for him!
How have I not found your material before? You quickly joined my top 5 favorite stand up comedians list 😂
Yessss
Welcome to the show fellow meat sack
Oh boy. Here come the spoons mf'er.
Because others diminished knowledge with their opinions😮😅😊😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@mikekersey7923still waiting to hear the news that Dan was killed with spoons by an elderly former cafeteria worker.
I’ve watched this so many times!! Too funny!!😂
"The light is always green when you refuse to kneel" needs to be merch 😂😂😂
hahaha- right?
Dan was my introduction to standup as a kid with his first Comedy Central Presents set. I always get excited when I see he has new material.
I think hands down Dan's Dad Burnt down the Library of Alexandra. for that 3 out of 5 stares.
Absolutely incredible special praise Bojangles. The fact that every big company that does specials turned this away is criminal and shows how very little they care about actual good stand up, Well done Dan you crushed it man thank for putting it up on RUclips for free.
I’ve been listening to Dan for years! My wife surprised me with tickets to see him in St. Louis for my birthday an loved every minute of it! Also RIP Dick B Cummins 😂
😂
AMAZING! Be sure to like and share!
I want the bbq rape gang tshirt
Loved meeting you all! It was worth the 10+ hour drive each way to be there for this special 💕
Every damn time I watch this special I love a new bit more than the last one I thought was my favorite.
Loved Dan since finding him on Pandora while I’d make wedding cakes, can’t believe the son of one of the most prolific serial killers truly puts out such great content all these years later. So underrated!
Are you referring to Gordon Cummins? He died 35 years before Dan was born?
@jasoncoppinger5188 nope. Known only as Dan's Dad...he traverses the country on his spree of carnage. Many of his horrible acts are attributed to others...so he continues his hunt.
Be ever so careful. And always remember #DadWatch
Pretty sure my spouse and I saw this standup 2 or 3 times in person (we have a Dan problem😂) and are watching it AGAIN… and enjoying it just as much as the first time ❤️
Thanks for watching!
hahah- that's awesome! like and share!
Is a Dan problem easier to manage than a drinking problem? I've been toying around with the idea of converting my problems.
This is the most I laughed for a comedy special in a long time.
Three out of five stars… wouldn’t change a thing. Seriously, Dan is not only a comedic genius, but also an inspiration for those of us who have trouble pronouncing basic words but still want to go into a field where reading and public speaking is essential.
Sometimes I wish I didn’t make it through my wreck. And then I use this. Thank you Dan for the deliciously dark humor.
Thanks for being here! Glad I can make you laugh.
I love that Dan's stand-up keeps getting better and better, but he doesn't lose his dark humor edge that makes him who he is. 3 out of 5 stars!
3/5 is awful lol this was much better than 3/5
If you know, you know ;)
@@jonw8697you obviously don't know the inside joke
I like his dark humor the best. Sometimes he gets too deep into the parenting jokes which does nothing for me. I don't have kids and am not amused by them. Plain don't like kids. I get that he's trying to be relatable and a lot of people have and like children though.
@@jonw8697 3/5 is a podcast inside joke for perfect
“3 out of 5 stars, wouldn’t change a thing.”
Dan remains one of my all time favorite comedians. Nimrod is pleased and Bojangles is a good boy!
First time seeing anything by Dan Cummins, just scrolling over YT. But I enjoyed the hell out of that. Great stand-up. Funny, relevant. Cynical, yet hopeful. Real, but not super serious about every single thing.
Appreciate the upload 👌🏾.
Wonderful stand up. Very funny. Thanks for the laughs.
I was legit in tears several times. 3 out of 5 stars
wouldn’t change a thing!
Truly unique. No comedian today compares to Dan's style. Tackling taboo topics that no one wants to discuss; the mark of a great comedian.
Not dangerous repeating the mainstream lies
TOO FUNNY!! LOVE THIS GUY
"I used to have a older brother" is so simple but absolutely sent me. RIP Dick B Cummins
3/5 Wouldn’t change a thing. Hopefully this gets out there like it deserves. Dan’s great and his stand up keeps getting better.
Never laughed harder or more genuinely than when I got to see Dan live! Absolute pro, and his humor hits just the right spot between ridiculous and extremely relatable. Hail Nimrod!
Thanks for the kind words!
4:45 “Let Bill Kill” I don’t think I’ve heard of that since Gravity Falls
Dan absolutely nailed the Eastern Barred Owl is the Ric Flair of the woods. I hear those crazy bastards all the time
I've been hooked on Dan ever since my wife introduced me to him. We seen him in Indianapolis and it was one of the best shows I've seen.
This man can not do wrong!! This special was his best by far. Smart, witty, vulgar when appropriate, and always thought provoking. Wouldn't change a thing! 3 out of 5 stars!
How have I never heard of this guy?! He’s frkn hilarious!!😂
Had the pleasure of sitting in the audience for this one! Stoked to watch it again!!! 🎉❤🎉
Thank you for being such an incredible, standup comedian, and all-around entertainer. I have been looking forward to this special and I can’t wait to share it with everyone.
thank you!!!
Im playing it again! Chain smoking some Dan Cummings!
I've been a fan [f Dan's standup for almost a decade. Love Timesuck and Scared to Death. Great job, man!
At least once a day I am trying to figure out what to listen to , then I remember this, then I remember it doesn’t come out for another day, and then I repeat the cycle 😂 super stoked Dan !!
Dan is hilarious! Timesuck Podcast is the best. 3/5 stars. Wouldn't change a thing!
So happy to know that Dan continues to be a good boy and goes pee pee on the potty.
drank an entire can of Black Hole Whipple before watching the show. I could taste the jokes. 3 of 5 stars!!
its amazing to see how well Dan's comedy has evolved over the years, he even came to my podunck backwater town about a year ago, this guy is legit
This was so much fun to watch live! Another incredible special. Best comedian of all time.
Thank for watching! Please like and share!
Best giggles I've had in a while ❤ 3/5 💫 all winners here! WIZARD FIGHT! WIZARD FIGHT!
We legit need a cross over podcast with Dan and Joe about hunting elk for Lindsay
This set had been doubled over laughing so hard I could barely breathe at times, crazy funny!
Absolutely baffling the talent this man has! 3/5 stars wouldn’t change a thing
That is as enjoyable as stock photos of an old man eating grapes in the wood. IYKYK
I cannot wait!! this has been on my calendar since it was announced! Dan, I listen to/watch your comedy on repeat and I still laugh every time!
Thank you to the whole Bad Magic crew for always giving it 100%!
Awesome! Thank you!
Super excited been waiting for weeks
so happy you enjoyed it! like and share!
@@lynzecummins9261 done and done, Lynze!! So honoured to be a part of this family and community that you and Dan have created!!