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My Ex Says They Want Space or Time
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- Опубликовано: 12 сен 2018
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When your ex, or your boyfriend or girlfriend, says that they want and need space or time, it's frustrating and confusing.
When your ex wants space after a breakup, you might wonder how much they want.
You might even contact them to ask if they have had enough space and feel that they should now have what they asked for and be ready to continue their relationship with you.
It can cause intense anxiety on the part of the person being asked to give the space or time to an ex or to a boyfriend or girlfriend.
You are anticipating them being ready or them having a decision about getting back together with you or wanting to continue dating you.
People often respond very poorly to this request by doing the opposite of giving time and space.
Sometimes people try to overwhelm the other person with their presence, insisting that two days has been enough time and space.
As Coach Lee says, it's up to them how much time they feel they need and often, it's not about space and time at first.
Sometimes it's a lazy way of breaking up with you.
Some ask, "If my boyfriend, girlfriend, or ex says they want time or space, do they mean that they want to breakup?"
Sometimes that is the case. Other times they are concerned that the relationship is moving too quickly.
They might be concerned that it's artificial or that you are more invested than them. It's key to pay attention to what Coach Lee says in this video about the importance of truly giving them all the time and space that they need and to allow them to come back to you when they are ready.
Do not reach out asking if they have had enough time and space. That will result in a negative response and will cause them to doubt that you understand or that change has happened in enough quantity.
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For the accompanying article to this video, go to myexbackcoach....
Hands down the best in relationship advice. Coach lee nails down every topic. Sometimes I’ll read the topic of someone else’s video and they never even touch on it. I wish I found you a long time ago. But then again your material helped land me an even better woman. Keep up the good videos coach lee!
Coach Lee , you are the best. I would've never thought of the topics you lecture to
Listeners. My eyes are now open and have more knowledge on regarding relationships especially my own.
Thank you! You are awesome.
When your ex says they need "space"... make them feel like an astronaut!
Exactly.
I will remember this FOREVER! GREAT MOTTO!
I was really sad before reading this comment ...
♥️
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!🤣
I watch your videos everytime I feel anxiety for my ex and it really helps me a lot. You deserve a nobel prize man.
I notice he uses aa monotone to keep your interest at a certain level so that you dont overreact and lowkey that is a godsend because very few people do it and it really helps in relieving anxiety
i agree. sometimes it even helps me fall asleep. thats a compliment
Me too I oftentimes take long baths while watching these videos to make me feel better.
They definitely helped me
@@charles-kim.travels I also use them to fall asleep and I don"t even tho k I want my ex back.
I have been spending so much time listening to Coach Lee. I miss my ex so much. I am doing the no contact deal. I pray it works.
Me and my partner broke up a few days ago. I said I love her and she said she loves me. She said she still wants to build a future with me etc. Best thing to do is let your ex call or text you first. Give it time, I know it's shit but I know we're going to get back together just like you and your ex will get back with you. My ex still called me babe tonight, that's a good sign. She's the love of my life. Good luck
I pray for you and me and for everybody else that had a wonderful relationship with their ex but made mistakes like fighting, jealously, neediness.
Update???
@ Alexandrine Bernard thats amazing to hear. At least you guys have started taking things slow. It must be hard to start to develop those feelings again, afraid thats they will leave again. I hope in my situation, she comes back, even if it is slow I wouldnt mind. I know i pressured her to hangout all the time and i regret that now and would change immediately. She dating someone right before me for years and we jumped in. It went fast but naturally and she said so too. I just hope she comes back and it goes well. Its now been 5 days that she hasnt contacted me but I plan on waiting at least 3-4 weeks before I even decide to text her first.
Any update with the ncr?
THIS IS WHEN YOU GO NO CONTACT!
The best part is that if they do want you back, they have to work twice as hard the second time compared to the first time because for one, they broke up with you, and two, you could see things objectively not only with yourself but your ex as well, giving us the superior advantage of knowing exactly what we want, raising the bar for them compared to before.
All I know is that if my ex wants me back, he will have to work for it way more than before, otherwise byebye
So there is a chance to get them back when they ask for space? For a short term r’ship?
Another on point video. “I need space” is a passive-aggressive, path of least resistance break-up statement. I elected to hold my ex accountable by informing him he earned the space he desires. Four months of NC as of today (8/21) which will ultimately morph into a lifetime. As I said in another post, “I AM the prize.” I will not be downgraded, sidelined, spoken to unkindly/disrespectfully or Friend Zoned. I am done.
Thank you, Coach Lee, for your measured, well-reasoned videos.
Coach Lee, man yu definitely gave me a different perspective. No contact really works.
To be honest it doesn’t always mean that. Sometimes it does, but every situation is different
No it’s not. I (woman) asked for space before in my relationship and it’s just because I been so overly stressed with life. My god this is why ppl are single nowadays. Nobody gives ANYONE the benefit of the doubt! Humans NEED space we aren’t supposed to be under someone 24/7.
@@iwonderwhatmydognamedme4000 for real. These days most people think everything has to be perfect and exactly how they imagined it. I had a friend tell me that it’s weird and not okay that the girl I love has taken 3 months of space and that it’s not real love bc if it were love, she wouldn’t need space. I told her that that’s unrealistic and explained the situation to her and that I completely understand why the girl and I needed space for a few months.
@@Jakuboooooooooo I blame social media and fake relationship influencers. Everyone thinks “if they don’t drop down to their knees and beg for you they aren’t the one” like what?!?!
Space is important because it can
rekindle a relationship, stops the overthinking, stops the useless and pointless fights and basically lets the dust settle and it forces people to miss their partner.
If you and your girlfriend need as much space as possible to work things out that’s your business and nobody can or should tell u otherwise…you know each other best.
My bf of 3 years we been through it we had months of space before and the longest was 10 months (we were broken up) but it felt like just space because I knew it wasn’t over forever.
Currently now, space is needed again I recently moved out on my own and dealing with my mental health and my physical health (this randomly popped up) and I haven’t been myself and he’s noticed and it sorta pushed him away because I been very clingy. So he suggested I take some time to myself to relax and calm down and get everything sorted out…it does scare me but I also know that he will come back around again.
Sorry for the long message 🥴🥴🥴🥴 I’m here if u wanna talk more about ur situation ! I love listening and giving advice
8:35 asking about what they've been up to is the best advice when having that face to face conversation after the time off. They'll give you their part of their story and it'll be your time to shine and tell them how much you've grown since the breakup.
I personally got involved into volunteering at church to sort out clothes for the homeless as the winter is comming here in Canada. Started reading books from HBR to improve emotional intelligence and managing yourself. IF (read it in capital letters) she comes back and have that talk, she'll be more than impressed to see i've grown to be a better man than when she left.
it's been radio silence for two and a half weeks now but I'm taking that time off to see friends and go walk in the nature, choosing trails on the countryside to get away from the stress of the big city and breathe fresh air so when she eventually takes tabs on me, she'll see i'm not one of those guys who cry themselves to sleep. Women LOVE and WANT an independant man who doesn't depend on them to live their lives.
NO ONE will ever take back someone who is still the same when they left. this is your time to shine, self reflect and improve in every aspects of your life.
Thank you Coach Lee, you've been an eye opener as other coaches only repeat the same vague statements.
Coach lee is the bomb. Caring, funny somehow, and sooo wise
Hey Coach Lee, you should do a video on The Grass Is greener syndrome. Theres alot of people these days going through these breakups.
Keep up the good work!
Go see love chat about that
I have binge watched you & I came across this. WOW coach Lee, this video is a story of my relationship rn. You hit the bullseye! My bf suddenly asked for NO CONTACT bc he needed to re-eval our relationship. After being a loser for 3 days, I finally followed the NC rule. I'm going on 4 weeks of NC now, and I have not been eating nor sleeping much. Nights are the hardest. It's silent & sad. Coach, shamefully I broke the NC just few days ago. I texted my bf saying "baby, I'm sad. I miss you." He called right back and said, "I miss you too baby. Thank you for giving me the time & space." The NC is brutal! I'm meeting with a Family/Relationship Therapist tomor 09.13.2022, and his apt is next week. He said he doesn't want to breakup but we gotta make a change in our relationship. Wish me luck! Your words comfort me tremendously coach. Thank you!
I gave him 1y..his time and space. And he is not sure. And i think its enough.
Sounds like enough. I would move on if I were you.
@@RealCoachLee so true
That was a long time. It’s two months since I last heard from my boyfriend. It has been so hard, I feel like if he doesn’t reached out on 3rd month, I will break no contact. I would rather live without hope than keep waiting and I don’t know what I am waiting for
@@RealCoachLee see my comment that I just posted today on this video. I know you are busy, but I'd like to send you an email about the situation if I could. What is a good email address for you?
1 year was Wayyy more than enough, i hope you found someone better
The best video on RUclips in regards to space and time. My ex has asked for both and I've been in No Contact for 5 days. Breakup was four weeks ago. Kept in contact every few days, didn't beg but talked and it went nowhere. Went No Contact for a week and broke after she posted an "abandonment" post on her social media. Caved and regretted it. Don't fail their test and stick to NC. Purchased Coach Lee's Breakup Kit and each day has been getting better.
How did it pan out for you mate?
Went through it multiple times. Just move on, they meet someone else, don't have any expectations, leave and never receive them back.
Don't worry yourself anymore, there is a powerful man who helped me get my ex back even less than 12 hours faster. This is my story; I and my ex have been together for about 20 years and will finally have agreed to get married and I was very happy when he told me that the will should get married and I was totally satisfied with the joy of finally getting married to the man of my dream... A week before the day of our weeding my ex called me and said that he could not continue the wedding, I was shocked and he ended the call. I tried to control myself so I wouldn't end up in the hospital because of the shock, although I called for help every night to get my ex back. Then I heard everyone in South Carolina USA testifying from a powerful man who did a good job helping them get back there permanently and tried to get in touch with this man because I had no hope of getting my ex back. Finally, I quickly got in touch with this powerful man on WhatsApp for help and he told me not to worry anymore, that my ex is coming back to me permanently in less than 12 hours. I didn't believe, but I tried. Surprisingly, after this powerful man helped me, my ex really came back to me in 12 hours, just like the powerful man told me and he even asked for my forgiveness. So if you really want your ex back faster now, I recommend you to this powerful man who helped me... send him a message immediately on WhatsApp with +1 (937)-826-2489... Now I am finally married to the man of my dream and make sure you don't lose hope in getting your ex back and make sure to send this powerful man on WhatsApp the number I just gave you if you really want your ex back... Good luck👻👻
Coach Lee has most definitely helped me to save my relationship. My girlfriend who wanted space contacted me after 3+ months of radio silence. Yes, I made mistakes at the start, but then I followed Coach Lee’s advice. I agree, you must back off and give them the time & space they asked you for, it’s so so important IF you want this person back. You also need to manage your own anxiety and work on yourself. I was devastated initially, but I’ve definitely grown into a better and stronger person. As Lee says, do not punish them or pursue them or be defensive, you will only regret doing this and destroy your chances of reattracting this person back; who would want to be with a partner like that.
What happened after that
Why tf would you want someone back if that "space" was used to see someone else
If that's the case no. But if real space. Ok
Just leave and find someone that appreciates you!
Hi coach Lee. About 3 weeks ago my bf said he needed some time to himself but assured me we weren't breaking up. I did message him every few days and he would reply, he never initiated. Now it's been 4 days and he neither he or I have messaged each other. Should I just carry on in NC until he reaches out? Technically we are still together.
It’s amazing how accurate coach Lee is, AMAZING.
To be honest when my long distance ex of two-three years was talking to a "guy friend" for too long one night, I later got into an argument about it with her (because she had plans with me, and was being affectionate towards me moments earlier) and I asked her for space. She seemed to understand my perspective and so I reassured her it wouldn't be long, but next thing I knew it was her pulling away from me now.. She also seemed surprised and upset when I called her the next day, because I was done needing space and wanted to apologize for maybe going too hard on her. Later found out though she was now asking me for space because she ended up at his place, and basically eventually left me for him. The breakup was unclear so I was strung along for 2 months (saying she still loves me, etc), and is with another guy now only two weeks later from when the guy she left me for broke up with her. It's unclear if I'll ever get her back again but I sure hope this eventually clears up, and we could have a very happy and healthy relationship again. I waited three years for her without even one date. I can't and don't want to let her go without knowing if there's a chance. We genuinely had a good relationship, with tons of chemistry. I've never been closer to anyone before, and I know that she can say the same. I genuinely don't think she meant for this, and does still love me but can't seem to forgive herself (or have enough desire to go back into an LDR with me). It was definitely very odd and confusing how our relationship came to that, but I seem to understand more and more about each day. Slowly learning to forgive and heal from it.
Thank you Coach Lee for all the videos. It's been helping me a lot. I genuinely feel like you're one of the few coaches who understands, that sometimes wanting or letting an ex back into your life can be okay. I believe toxic relationships should end, but in my type of circumstance when a relationship was very good, I have trouble believing that advice. It takes two to make a relationship work, but I also believe that sometimes for a relationship to last I think the pain is worth fighting for, and at times is necessary in order for there to be growth. My parents don't exactly have the spark like they may have had in the past (mostly due to my Dad's PTSD I think), but if there's one thing I'm proud of them for it's their desire to still make it work. Even if it was just "for the kids" (despite us essentially already being old enough to understand). Was tough growing up like that, and thought many times my Mom should just leave my Dad if that would make her happy. But I forgive them, and now actually appreciate the fact that they didn't end up divorcing. Especially because my Dad is actually doing much better now than he was. Things couldn't have improved like this, and lasted for as long as they have if it wasn't for my Mom's forgiving heart. As as well as my Grandma's. Likely wouldn't have had that close influence I had from my Grandpa growing up before he died, if my Grandma couldn't have seen a future with him anymore. I'm thankful for that.
Anyway, I know I can forgive my ex for what I was put thru but I guess the real question is if she can? and if she'll even come back..? I believe she's seeing a therapist at the moment once every two weeks, but it's also unclear if that is helping. If we get back together though I'd definitely like to seek some sort of extra counseling, just to make sure our relationship could be turned back around again. Genuinely hoping my relationship could be saved. She doesn't believe it, but she was always my dream girl from the very start. I looked for a particular girl for years, and she was the one who checked off all of those boxes. I'm sure I could find someone else or be on my own, but life would still be so much better with her in it. Hoping and praying that she truly learns, and comes back to me.
Day 14 Today I'm anxious but I keep watching your videos it's helping me along!
Update?
Update bro?
update?
Needed to hear this. My boyfriend of 5 months had a big fight. After clearly communicating my desire to work things out, extension of an olive branch, and telling him I care and support him he needed to think things through and what he wants after stonewalling my efforts. Haven’t heard from him in 8 days (yes I’m counting FML😢) and am having a rough day. Wanted to ask him where he was at….but I cannot invade his space. So flipping hard.
I'm going through the same thing
What if they dated someone else. How can you not ask. I wouldn't want to be with someone who wanted space just to mess around with someone else.
If they are dating someone else after taking a break or space from you it's their loss not yours.
don't worry there is someone watching from sky. if you dont find him attractive again it means he messed up with someone
This is what happening with me RN
@@aditisharma2982 stay strong everything will be alright
Ditto. Me neither
why do you think they need space from you , because there is another one on the screen to test it out
I over extended myself when my ex blocked me. I sent 2 letters, tried to talk to mutual friends. It didn't go well. I was at their mercy and I declared no more. I've since recoiled and gone into no contact. I'm working on myself and discovering who I truly am. I'm rebuilding myself piece by piece. If she never comes back. At least I will be ready for that and my future. Hope for the best, be ready for the worst. Now unfortunately for me she's also a content creator....so by the algorithms when she posts new videos.....I see them there. Can't ignore watching some of them. But I speed through it and go back to what I'm doing. Coach Lee's videos are so informative.....they provide a bigger picture. A way forward. Two options are put before you. They come back OR they don't. During NO CONTACT you have OPPORTUNITY. Take advantage of that time. You can be better by the end of it all and either be your best for your ex or be your best for someone else. Either way it's a win win.
BROKE UP TRIGGERED BY COVID19.
My partner for 4 yrs just broke up with me 3 days ago. Mentioned that he realised during lockdown ( due to now work) that he’s not ready to settle-down, he’s no longer happy and don’t want to be unfair to me.
He told me his plans in helping his parents and siblings and that he needs to grow. Even wished me to find a better man. I asked him to stay and i will support his plans but he refused to.
Yesterday we moved out and he went to his family. He brought back my stuff and he even include his valentine gift😪 and it made me cry a lot.
I don’t understand after 4 yrs. he can pursue his plans while staying with me. Though he looked depressed , totally messed up and bothered due to family financial problems and the effect of quarantine.
How you doing now? I'm terribly sorry to hear this.
One more thing, if someone asks for space. Why should you make them love you again. A matured person doesn't need space but sit down and talk like grown ups
Someone asking for space isn’t a good sign… 2 people in a relationship should be able to communicate their needs and what bothers them, my now ex asked for space for no particular reason at all, left me wondering why he feels the way he does, if someone asks for space they are in some way unhappy/suffocated in the relationship, that’s a bad sign, what about your feelings? I think that if someone truly loves you they communicate and solve the problem right then and there or just break things off for good instead of putting you trough the torture.
Daria Rubin, I highly recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit which will help you immensely. It's POWERFUL Kit that has strategies for every situation including yours.
myexbackcoach.com/ebk
Exactly
I ended things because amongst other nasty things they went to stay with another woman over valentine's day instead of us spending that time together. They told me I was unreasonable!!??. I was due to have investigations for cancer so was a bit on edge. Since confirmed.
I messaged them twice but then they asked for space as if I'd been hounding them. Me telling them about my cancer diagnosis crossed with this message.. they didn't respond.
I don't want them back.
Some people ask for time and space so they can cheat - because they were “on a break”, it can also be a form of punishment if the other person broaches an issue they don’t wish to resolve.
Was in a relationship for 3 months, I made a mistake, I apologized, she accepted my apology, but still broke up with me a few days later.. we had a great relationship before the breakup, never one fight. I did do some begging at first, but I don't think I did too much damage. We broke up 9 days ago, and I'm on day 7 of no contact. Last message from her, said she needed time and distance, so hopefully that means she will come back. I'm going to hold strong, and not contact her.. although we work together, so it's a little tricky.. Thank you for your wise words of wisdom, Coach Lee.
update?
@@marcalvarez4760 It's been 7 weeks of NC, but nadda.. I do work with her, and we have exchanged some work related email messages but that is all. She definitely does not want to talk to me. I honestly don't think I will ever hear from her again, as I did all the wrong things the first 24 hours after the breakup.. and there may be external forces such as friends, and family preventing her from reaching out (I'm 17 years older than her). But no contact was definitely the best thing, as it gave me strength, to start dating again. Although I still love her.. I am pretty sure if I would have did no contact right away, without the groveling, she would have reached out. Lesson learned!
He said he wants space and that he doesn't have the love to give that I deserve and that he felt trapped. He also said he still wants to hang out and go out for drinks once in a while. He left me with hope. But then now, I feel as though he was just trying to soften the blow. He was emotional. I'm confused. We had a good relationship but the last two weeks he seemed frustrated when he would invite me out and I show up.
I really needed to hear that. Thank you so much.
Wow, this is exactly why I believe he broke things off. We both were overzealous.
My bf of 4 years asked for space a few times, but I was never able to give it due to how clingy I was. He wanted to break up a few times, but somehow I held us together, begging, pursuading, even guilting. It was obvious he was losing emotional and physical attraction, especially the last year of our relationship, but we were still best friends and had so many good times together. We went through hard times in life together too. I thought the connection would come back for him when our lives started to take off, which we had been working hard towards for years and were finally ready to get started. Just before we were about to finish that chapter of our lives, he broke up with me. No arguing or anger from either side, just a painful conversation. He said he didn't see a happy future with me and needed to have space to grow and find himself, and he couldn't do that when I was around. He was never able to say with confidence that he loved me. I've been in NC 2 weeks now, is there any hope even if he's had a lot of time to think about this decision but finally I let him follow through?
I hope you don't mind if I try to help... I'm in no contact also and I'm working through Coach Lee's videos to help myself - from what I've learned so far I think Lee would say yes, there's a chance your ex will reach out. However, the length of the delay (like you say, he'd decided perhaps more than a year before it happened that he wanted a breakup) may decrease those chances and probably will lengthen the time required in your ex's relief period, before he really starts to feel the breakup and can start to miss you and all the other stages can take place (hopefully culminating in your relationship being renewed!). The most important thing, I believe, is that you be very committed to no contact (it will need to be him contacting you, that he's gotten past the clingyness back to how he feels for you) and that you work on growing in yourself, so that whether he comes back or you meet someone else better suited to you, your lover doesn't have to be driven off ever again by clingyness. I'm trying to learn that myself 😉 It's challenging, but I think it can done!! Good luck 😁
@@lynnestuart9796 your reply really helps, thank you :) I really hit a low this week and to be honest, I have nearly lost hope. It's barely been 3 weeks, but feels like months. I don't think I can make it to 3 months NC, but I will hold on as long as I can. The fact that he could never say he loved me is the hope-crusher. How could he ever come back to someone he never loved? Maybe the good memories I hold dear are tainted for him by how he was feeling about us for so long. I've heard limbo being mentioned on other forums, and I'm for sure there. Not ready to let go, not ready to move on, but also not fully clinging as I once did because I have to [painfully] face reality. Thanks again for your words :)
update?@@erevive9987
Holding someone to their words, got it
Man I love you coach Lee you always speak the truth. You are like the T.D Jakes, Jim Rohn, Toby Robins of dating! Thank you so much! 🎉
Brandy thank you for such kind words!
The old adage: “Be careful what you wish for”. Wish granted.
I think some boundaries need to be set. Someone can't keep you on hold indefinitely. Are they looking to date someone else. During this time???
Don't worry yourself anymore, there is a powerful man who helped me get my ex back even less than 12 hours faster. This is my story; I and my ex have been together for about 20 years and will finally have agreed to get married and I was very happy when he told me that the will should get married and I was totally satisfied with the joy of finally getting married to the man of my dream... A week before the day of our weeding my ex called me and said that he could not continue the wedding, I was shocked and he ended the call. I tried to control myself so I wouldn't end up in the hospital because of the shock, although I called for help every night to get my ex back. Then I heard everyone in South Carolina USA testifying from a powerful man who did a good job helping them get back there permanently and tried to get in touch with this man because I had no hope of getting my ex back. Finally, I quickly got in touch with this powerful man on WhatsApp for help and he told me not to worry anymore, that my ex is coming back to me permanently in less than 12 hours. I didn't believe, but I tried. Surprisingly, after this powerful man helped me, my ex really came back to me in 12 hours, just like the powerful man told me and he even asked for my forgiveness. So if you really want your ex back faster now, I recommend you to this powerful man who helped me... send him a message immediately on WhatsApp with +1 (937)-826-2489... Now I am finally married to the man of my dream and make sure you don't lose hope in getting your ex back and make sure to send this powerful man on WhatsApp the number I just gave you if you really want your ex back... Good luck👻👻
My ex keeps contacting me, but i asked for space, she is even in a new relationship 😂😂
This vid came out 8 months too late lol. I begged and cried for 2 weeks back in January when my ex said this, and sent 2 drunk texts in early March. That seems to have been my undoing. I'm in over 6 months NC now, and I've given up hope. She's gone. Been dating other women since May because I had a gut feeling she was gone for good.
bro i didnt cry and also 8 months nc. it doesnt matter if you cry or not. they will soon forget that. i have also given up hope. brother I think we must both stay strong and keep moving forward in life. it is difficult but it must be done. we are more worthy than the fools who dumped us.
+Chris Bryant Yeah.. I mean you'd figure 6 months would be enough for her to send out a "feeler" text to me to see how things are, but whatever. She probably was just drunk on that "honeymoon phase" love with me, and never actually cared. This is why I disagree with coaches that preach against dating other women during a breakup. I've been doing it since May. Nobody should put their life on hold for an ex. Work on yourselves and practice the new skills you've learned on new women. It's the best way to get into good habits.
thelegionary07 g
When they cant move quick emotionaly..they should stay at home and not searching for relationship.
Whit 44y ..you should know what you want..or not?
I’ll be watching this video a few times to let it all sink in. Very insightful as always, thank you.
me and my girlfriend argued and we're making a break of 2 weeks, and she tells me that i need to show her that i changed, and empty words won't make her want to come back, she says that i need to something
what can i do?
Is this the same when someone tells you I need a space or let's take a break from relationship?
In most of cases, there's someone else and they want you as backup. Start to move on and don't receive them back.
My ex blocked me on everything, I have to use email to contact with him. However, whenever I communicate, he just got angry and said we need distance to heal. I just love him and wish I would be a person make him happy
Same situation. How did it go?
my ex broke up with me over a really stupid fight that led to other issues around end of March. i gave her 5 days here and there then we’d strike up conversations, she was mostly still confused over her emotions over me and missed me “every day” etc etc. then around mid april she met some gamer guy (completely online he’s 2k miles away) and they sort of... started spending an outrageous amount of time together non stop. i ended up having to delete her from steam so i couldn’t see them gaming together. fast forward to 2 weeks ago she reiterated that her and this guy weren’t doing some online thing, that she was treating me differently because i hurt her feelings but that she forgave me, and that she just needs space. i replied “ok” and haven’t heard from her since
fast forward and i am working out non stop, bought my dream car (jeep wrangler sport), and recently posted some cool pics of me in my jeep and some workout progress photos with a lot of girls flirting with me in the comments. i decided to flirt back, playfully etc but definitely direct. is flirting back with these girls the WRONG move in the long run? i’m not actively seeking them out, the girls are chasing me. what do i do? i’d like to get the ex back, but i don’t want her to resent me.
(P.S. i did display some neediness to her and jealousy)
Or they need undisturbed time to groom the monkey branch
Great advice. If they come back. Slmetomes space means seeing other people. Happened to me. I'm that case you need to leave them not ignore it.
My situation is really weird. We split after 1 yr and a month of being together, and she said she lost feelings, that the spark was gone. She said I didn’t feel like a lover anymore and she needed time and space to see if she missed me, that she wasn’t sure if she was completely done or wanted to try again. We spent the following week kind of testing the waters while I did the habitual pleading and asking where things went wrong, to which she answered “I honestly don’t know, in my opinion you did nothing wrong”. Eventually I got it out of her that things had gotten stagnant, and she said that she asked for space and hoped I could respect that. Promptly began no contact, and she proceeded to contact me 4 days later asking how I was doing, what I was up to, and what my shoe size was (it was pretty close to Christmas). Once that convo tailed off, she left me on read and has remained that way since. She always watches my stories and her family keeps reaching out, but she herself has been silent the whole time since that last convo. At this point I’m just trying to juggle her wishes of space to sort her feelings out and my own very direct nature to just come flat out and ask where this is going so I’m not wasting my time.
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When they ask for space it means they are about to dump you.
I agree!
Going through this now.. Best advise Ive seen on this topic ! Thankyou ! I said Ill wait to hear from him after he asked for space again after i asked how much space he needed.. So I will wait until he reaches out now.. I know im on the right track thanks !
Gave my ex space, we seen each other and we hugged, after she said see that's progress is this good?
My ex wanted space but he was involved with another woman. His idea was to live in the basement and see this other woman .We have 2 kids. I decided to put a bullet through it and divorced him. He moved out with the other woman had a baby with her and the relationship ended after a while. She had another child. It was one BIG mess.
You’re the best! I subscribe to one other coach but The advice to ignore my ex’s call (because it will build up her ego) put me off. I think I’ll just stick to you ❤️
my bf of almost 5 yrs asked for a break/space whatever , even though I'm hurting I know we love each other and I know we can make it work and hope he uses this time wisely and really think about our future NC for one week now its really hard but I'm gonna do me been exercising crazy lost 10 lbs due to this but tryna keep strong and use this time to re evaluate everything in my life not just relationship
i experienced this, when you both know it can work its hard. i followed coach lee’s NC rule and she started reaching out by posting messages on her whatsapp status. i learnt that if you respond then they know youre there.
its like they know that u know it’ll work but if youre unwilling and unresponsive then they’ll value what u had more.
Coach Lee I’m going to disagree with you here. I gave mine space he came back on his own. I told him what I expect and agreed, 3 weeks later he discarded me. Relationships are not all FUN they are responsibility. He left 2x bc it got to serious and when he saw I wasn’t playing he left. If I had continued on playing around having fun he would think great we can go another year or so like this and that is not what I needed or wanted after investing a year and half of having “fun”
not the punish as coach lee says but they would come to you in your terms . they need to make it up to you in some way . or as you said it will happen again if there is no consequences when they try to disappear and go for another man , woman during that time . they will do it again because you are taking them with no punishment , no consequences
She already broke up with me 6 weeks of nc she reached out and then said she needs a lil more space. I saie no problem enjoy your holidays
You're a king homie. She either gonna waste her opportunity to win you back or ask to hang out. Either way, you're unfazed, and I love it
This was brilliant
My ex asked me for space but he had already broke up with me. I think it creates a lot of confusion. We are no longer together and I'm doing good on my own
Thanks for this great advice coach Lee. You’re amazing !!!
Coach Lee thank you I been so hurt lately I just didn't know how to cope with my ex as for space and I started being very clingy and annoying from watching the videos I can really focus on my value
Or she knows and treats you like a simp knowing you’ll always be there, and uses that phrase every time she has a wild hair, and wants to satisfy that urge.
This is exactly what they think.
He asked for space before he broke up with me. We lived together so I did what I could but then he’d always come to me and act normal again, then he got mad I wasn’t giving him space so he broke up with me. He’s still in love with me I feel it and saw it. But when I moved out he said he just needs time and he wishes I gave this to him when we were together to avoid all of this. It’s so confusing :/
Hannah Snickers, I highly recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit for you which is excellent and it will help you.
It's a POWERFUL Kit which has EVERYTHING in it including strategies for every situation.
myexbackcoach.com/ebk
My ex said she need time and space... I wonder if she's going to calculate velocity...
Lets suppose that you gave them the time they wanted and now the two of you are dating again but your ex mentions that during the break up they hooked up with another person. How you should react to a statement like this considering you want your ex back?
What happened in the end?
she says to better herself she wants time and space but pisses off with another man in 2 week...
I wish I found this sooner
Were together nearly a year, she ended it saying she needs space, now i did break nc after 4 weeks to say i had picked up belongings then tried the reattractment text 4 weeks later, msgs were indifferent, im just done now tbh, i might block her everywhere.
I saw this too late...I feel even if I gave her more space then outcome would have been the same.
Thanks, this is one of the most helpful relationship advisor, coach video topics.
She asked for some space just to found out she spent it with another guy. now moving on.
Coach, do a video about us who are in between 2 and 3 months of no contact. We need your encouargement!
Keep going nc is a marathon
Just start dating. It's time:-)
Coming up on four months of NC for me after a very loving 8 year relationship that just turned sour in the last year. It's hard to hold onto hope.
What if my ex thinks that I am waiting for them? Even though I've been in no contact for a week.
Such a great video! Spot on advice. Thank you so much.
Yeah I got texted to leave her alone don’t call so I’ve been
My ex asked for couple days he said he need it space I gave him a week then he said when I'm going to see u I told him one day I needed my space also then we got back happy ..a month later we separated he drinks heavy and Chase women's no respect toward me I'm so sad I tried so hard
+19199806974⏯⏯❣⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️ Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of breakup.,
+19199806974⏯⏯❣⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️ Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of breakup.,
It makes me feel like a person likes to move on, because they want multiple relationships.
My ex told me not to flirt with her because is not ok...now she has a new bf but she told me she loved me before. What to do?
Go No Contact!! Maybe she will reconsider her new relationship or she is doing it just so she can move on easier from you or she wants you to be jealous! Stay strong and have hope but still work on yourself!
Coach wtf. My ex reaches out after a month when she is in a rebound (its failing or already failed) and she tells me everything she misses about me, then shes hot and cold, and told me a few times she needs time yet continues to talk to me. I dont get this situation AT ALL. She sent it to me again today and I've just ignored it. Is this the right decision?
Same!! She keeps telling me that sex is wayyy better with me, she still wants to sleep with me and she still loves me, I try to NC but she text me "good morning" almost every day! But she was telling me two weeks ago (we broke up a month ago) that she really needs time.... wtf am I supposed to do
@@INUK090 well mine just dumped her rebound and wants to get back with me. I said nope. I need time to think about all of it. I'm getting my phone blown up. If they do want to come back they need to understand what they did ain't right and learn a lesson. After that I may think about it.... 😁
@@riverking3874 Thats perfect! Have some dignity, keep your head up and every thing will fall into place! 👌👌
@@INUK090 thanks brother wish you the best in your situation as well
Hey coach lee i apologize for missing the call my phone was lost and returned thank you.
Alex c
You are how I cope Lee
He also says he misses me and loves me but we can't get back now in the future he says
Then tell him good luck
Do not contact him.. You will just be hurt again. Think of your dignity, first of all. What they said does not matter. They walked away!
Hes thinking of you while he stirs his new girls bowl of mac and cheese
This also means AKA to continuing seeing and talking to the person i cheated on you with much easier, which was the case with my ex.
exactly! "I need a break because I want to check that other chick",
Coach Lee is so wise!
My bf and I have been together for two months. In the beginning it was intense. We never said the words “I love you” but we had an emotional and physical attraction. It seemed we connected. Recently, he texted me that he had personal things going on in his life and asked for a couple of days to process things. So I gave it to him. No questions asked. I didn’t beg, plead, or text him after that. It’s been a week. No word. I don’t know if I was too clingy or he does have personal things to process. Friends tell me he broke up with me via text. So do I continue to give him space and wait? And if so, for how long? I do want to be with him. (I posted this question on another site as I wasn’t sure where it should go)
did you guys talk again?
Update?? Im in a similar situation. Just curious how it went for you
Is no contact always effective even if you’ve broken up with your partner multiple times as well?
J J why is that crap? I thought it a good question. Kind of applies to me, albeit not so much breakups me being “on a break” (not sure what that even means, just got told it)
update
I have been in NC for 2 weeks, my best friend talks to my ex and at the last talk he said to her that he still loves me, misses me and that he is not sure If the break up was an good idea. In your relationship I was quite selfish you can say because of my insecurities that he doesn"t love me but than his family came to the picture and his dad blamed me for evertyhing in his life including that he has a tumor on his brain bc of me...we fought with my ex for like 3 months nonstop bc of his family, school, covid but always solved everything but than the next day all over again. I still love him very much and I even figured how to solve our problems with my insecurities about his family and everything but before I could tell him everything he has broken up with me by letter bc he couldn't look me in the eyes bc he would never stick to the break up. Do you think I still have some chance? I really love him and I want to give him space and time to heel and the same for me and I just want him back in my life forever
My ex broke up with me 3 weeks ago. She said she needed space and until now we talked occasionally and finally I told myself that I need to do no contact. For the whole month of September, I'm not going to contact them. Wish me luck
How it go
How did it play out?
this videos sums up that women are always right
Well explained.
I always thought they needed a xtra room built , plus a couple of clocks & time pieces..
Idk I think it's a pretty deserved question to be answered if they've been messing around during their "personal time"
After exactly 30 days of no contact he calls me and asked if we could just be friends for now. I told him no. I just don't know what else to do it's been almost a week since he called about friendship.
Sometimes someone in his shoes is doing that to just keep you close. You did well. Now stay in no contact.
Thank you
My ex reached out on day 28 and thanked me for giving them space they asked for.. even though they didn’t even ask for any space 🤨
What happened? Did you get back together?
Not ex- current relationship. Does that change anything?
ok so I have just moved into a non-coming back state of mind about my ex and then now this is a different pov. i'm so confused. But actually, right now I wanna know if I want to get back with my ex or not. Relationships are a crap-load of crap
What you confused about my brother
This is the best video on this subject
When Alice wanted Space Jackie Gleason said: I will send you to the Moon Alice.
Hollywood and real life are as different as night and day.
@@RealCoachLee yep
This really was aimed towards me
Me too
woww you are amazing in explaining and making it open for us