Wow. Hearing that his whole family was sitting around reading his diary aloud literally made a wave of nausea cascade through my body. That family is disgusting.
I've heard so many stories of parental figures reading the diary, not liking what was written, and punishing the kid in some way. I've also heard the story of the stepmom either listening in to therapy sessions, or having her bestie therapist that she recommended to OP, share the deets. Add in the recent Depp/Heard lawsuit where their diary and therapy sessions were made public to the world, and I've decided I'm happy staying anonymous, letting my dark secret thoughts fester into oblivion.
I think it’s pretty obvious that OP in this story is the scapegoat for the family. They preached privacy because deep down inside they knew they weren’t respecting his. Nor did they care.
Yeah the diary story ,your parents are enormous AH'S , first off they shouldn't read it no matter what, if they were really doing it to make sure he's OK then why share it with the siblings?? OP go no contact with the whole lot of them. I guess his parents never heard Practice what you Preach. Absolutely horrible parents and siblings.
@@arleneclark6369 but even going completely no contact, make sure to take prizes sentimental personal possessions with you, but never admit it. If they accuse “wow, that must really hurt having something so personal and private taken from you, out there in the world where you don’t know who might have it or what they might do with it.” If they try to get threatening, “wow, I hope you never inadvertently treat whoever might have it like that. They might destroy it, or spread it around.”
The mommy one: the stepmom told the child to dlc all he mommy. Hell no. She is not mommy. OP was gone fit work, sometimes you can’t take ur child on work trip.
4 months is no big deal AT ALL. My dad was in the Army and ended up getting sent to Korea for the first year of my life. I don’t even remember it. When I was growing up he would be sent on TDY (temporary duty) for a few weeks here, a few months there. We missed him of course, but that was just life. He didn’t freaking *abandon* us. By the way, this was also in the 70’s and 80’s when long-distance communication was almost exclusively via paper letters (phone calls were expensive and sometimes difficult if he wasn’t stationed in a city). The issue here isn’t OP’s non-existent “abandonment” but the stepmother’s creepy overstepping of boundaries.
Why are mons always expected to reject a good promotion that helps with the family but dads are encouraged? Either dads are as important as moms like people say or they aren't and people just want to reduce moms to incubators and walking milk cartons
Yea but people would give the guy way more shit for leaving for 4 months then the mom did the mom abandoned her kid then got mad when someone took her place and most promotions don't require you to abandon your child for 4 months you're making a mountain out of a mole hill since these weren't normal circumstances
Reading someone else's diary is like looking into their heart and soul. Reading it without permission is one of the worst non-physical violations I can think of.
Curses only work when the "cursed" believe the curse is real. It only "worked" because the "cursed" believed the curse was real and subconsciously did things to bring about bad things.
When my mother was with her ex, his younger children loved her so much they starting slipping up and called her mommy. They were 3 at the time. She would correct them and remind them they have a mommy who loves them very much. Eventually she suggested that they can pick out different name just for them. They liked that idea. Correcting a child does not mean rejection of their affection. Even though she & my ma were not on the best terms, it was a respect factor & understanding as a parent not to cross certain boundaries.
It would be one thing if op’s child called his step mom mommy on his own, but her telling him to call her mommy is crossing a boundary and I don’t think it’s wrong for her not to want the step mom as involved when she’s acting shady and when op does for whatever reason already have sole custody. If the dad wants to complain about being kept from his child or not getting to chose who’s around his child he can go back to court for partial custody instead of lying to op. It’s also funny that the parent who has sole custody is getting called out for “abandonment” when 1) the child was left with the other PARENT and 2) there was an established time line they would be gone for WORK. Apparently leaving your child with their father while communicating what’s going on and most likely calling the child while gone is abandonment.
Wow. If it had been the mom that cheated and the kid was calling her affair partner "daddy" I have a feeling a lot of people would have responded differently.
Third story, No one finds it suspicious that OP's son did not react when OP called for him? He didn't do anything until she picked him up? After four months he should have been thrilled that his mommy was there. He is five, he didn't forget what his mom looked like. Who hasn't seen videos of men and women of the military coming home and surprising children (and pets) after being gone for months or a year. And OP's son had no reaction to her return? Instead of banning the step-mom she needs to immediately see a lawyer about parental alienation because no kid would ignore their mom without a given reason.
I am surprised the ex did not go for full custody, based on abandonment, while she was gone. I picked up on the child not recognizing his mother. Did she not have any facetime contact with her while she was gone? Did she never call him? Something is not right. Why didn't her ex, emotionally, prepare her son for her return. Make me wonder if she was totally no contact with her son when she was gone. With the "call me mommy" thing going on I am sure the child was told that he was living with them from now on, but OP needed to maintain contact with him, on a frequent regular basis, to reassure him that she loved him and was returning and to help him count down the days until she came home.
@@mimiNana-yi4cy On the custody thing, there seems to have been an agreement that he stay with his father while she worked. Otherwise there would have been an agreement that she could take him out of the country for four months. If she could have even taken him due to work. It is not abandonment if you have to leave for work, otherwise everyone in the military abandons their kids when they get deployed. She had to make the choice to leave for four months to make a better life for her child or wait for the next opportunity. It would have been nice if she had mentioned if she was calling/facetiming her son. Someone in the comments believes that the step-mom is trying to get that ready made family and become the boys new mommy and kick out the old.
@@mimiNana-yi4cy abandonment? How? Father would have been told she was away for 4 months otherwise its a CPS issue. Any court would throw out a custody request based on a false abandonment claim.
@@TipTheScales27 Your kids would rather play and ignore you after not seeing you for four months? If it a day or a weekend fun trip I can see that, but FOUR months? After two weeks on vacation my cats are all over me and I have to peel them off for the next three days. Op's son ignored her when she called his name and only reacted when she picked him up. This is not how a child reacts after seeing their mommy after missing her for four months. Something is wonky.
story 2 update: if you wanna read the title is "AITA for moving out after realizing my ENTIRE......". he describes his university situation and wanted to speak again. apparently he is not as good as his siblings and has social anxiety that the parents refused to get therapy for so instead tried to intervene like this. coz siblings didnt need therapy and its a waste of money. as always tears, screams and kick them out
Story1: Huge NTA, and I love OP's style! Aww the sticky-fingered MiL won't talk to OP any more? I call that a win! But seriously she should scold her fiance right back. MiL thinks she got it bad with OP's "curse"? She should consider herself lucky she didn't get real trouble, and land in jail! If fiance seriously thinks OP's in the wrong when MiL stole her ring, hellooooo dog-house! Glad the fiance got his act together, and got the key back.
First story. The suggestion of telling the Brazillian grandmother about the ring story was fantastic. Depending on the grandmother, she could really play into it at the wedding.
Story 3: NTA. Look, maybe your sensitive about this woman, but by no means are you crazy for demanding that she not be called “Mommy”. If you have full custody why is this even a conversation? Can ExHusbands new Wife not be just as close with him as “Stepmom” or whatever her actual name is?
for 4 months that lady was mommy. she fed the child made sure they went to bed took care of them took them to the doctor. SHE WAS MOMMY. if OP was that upset then the bitch shouldn't have left her child.
My siblings and I had a stepmom and our mom was mom, but my former stepmom who we still love as dearly as she does us was mama Marcie. No one including my mom had any problems with it. They were good friends who both only cared about us that we were well taken care of and happy. The title difference respected both women and their parts in mine and my siblings lives. Mom never felt any jealousy or worry because her bond with us was very strong. No one could replace her in our lives and she knew it. Mama Marcie got the respect she well deserved as a loving stepmother of having mama in front of her name. However in this case nope, no way and how inappropriate and disrespectful that the stepmom is being called "mom". Again my stepmom knew her place, showed respect and never stepped on my mom's toes. She told us to call her mama Marcie not mom out of respect for my mom. Mama Marcie would never have done anything like that which explains a lot about why my mom never ever had any issues with her and greatly returned that respect.
Isn’t that the kids call? If he likes her and wants to call her mom then wouldn’t op telling him not to cause him to feel unnecessarily guilty and confused? Why make it into a big deal? The ship sailed so trying to backtrack it now will just make the kid think he did something wrong and that he isn’t allowed to like his dads wife.
@@tracim3080 That's making the assumption that it was the kids choice and not what he was told. There is also the fact that he is a kid and kids don't know what's appropriate and what's not so it's the adult's role to tell the kid what is and isn't appropriate. The bottom line here is that both the dad and stepmom did do something wrong in allowing him to call her mom for ANY reason and that breach of respect and possible parental alienation is something that needs to be dealt with. If the child is told they did nothing wrong because they didn't know any better, it was the adult's who allowed it who made the mistake then I think the kid will handle it ok.
@@cisio64123 it’s making an assumption either way. Ops is going crazy when she doesn’t need to. She makes assumptions about her ex cheating, she makes assumption about them trying to replace her, she makes assumption about everything. She needs to calm the hell down and relax. Her son is 5, the woman looked after him for 4 months. At that age he thinks any female who is taking care of him equals mom. It’s what the majority of children books and shows are likely to teach him. Not a lot of kids entertainment that explain divorce and step parents at the 5 year old level. Especially since the kid would have just started school so there is a very good chance the other kids called the woman dropping them off/picking them up “mom” so he just called the woman driving him to in from school mom.
Story #2 is the exact kind of thing that makes me hate the idea of a diary. It would be so easy for people to break your trust and look at all the personal, private details inside.
Tbh the rest of the family are kinda lucky .... shit like that is a good way to get unalived if you are the parents ... they’re called psychotic breaks for a reason
The story about the diary is horrendous. There is something so incredibly SICK about what the family did. It's bad enough having parents do it. But having your parents reading it to your siblings for entertainment.... I am sensing some strong narcissistic personality disorder in this family. Run OP. And don't look back.
Re the stepmother who told OP's son to call her mommy--that can backfire big time. My husband's horrible ex had him calling his stepfather Daddy and his actual father by his first name. My poor 8 year old stepson developed a nervous tic over what he was supposed to call who at what house. Now, decades later, stepson has gone low contact with her and her other son is completely no contact. Both boys refuse to have kids. She did it to herself.
Story 2: NTA. Unless your legitimately scared for someone’s safety or well being then there is NEVER an excuse to invade someone’s privacy. I would have sent out post about this and any other “sensitive” information on social media before cutting them out.
I agree. I always liked writing in a diary but was always concerned someone would read it too. This, I have a password protected journal on my computer. Much safer.
This story disgusted me. Lit it's unjustifiable no matter what. If you aren't getting permission from that person then don't touch no ones personal private stuff.
I never kept a diary, but I had a lot of penpals starting at 16 and continuing into my 30's. I would write long letters. My mother once told me she wanted to read the letters I wrote and received. My mother is a narcissist and she was training me well to be a doormat, but I scared her when I exploded and told her she had no rights to what I wrote. Then she changed her tune and from then on told me no one would be interested in what I wrote anyway. Strange, they kept answering my letters...
Gigi and whoever else agrees with her needs to get the hell on . Why do people feel they're entitled to wear someone else's wedding dress that has EXTREME sentimental value is beyond me.
I have a very strong feeling that the ex wouldn’t like it if OP’s next partner is called daddy or other daddy. This whole crap is disgusting and using the child. Step parents, especially the ones who were side pieces, need to know their place. That woman and the ex don’t care about anyone but themselves. Wife #2 unknowingly made room for the next mistress while she’s being so desperate to pretend to be mommy to have some fantasy family instead of creating her own.
@@velvety2006 And taking advantage of the kid's vulnerable state to do so. I agree with the commenter who pointed out that the kid would have felt abandoned, and it wouldn't be hard to do.
@@black1917 especially if op decides to go on another few month's work trip, it would not be to difficult to prove for the dad that the kid has more stability with them, the parents that don't leave for months on end for work
All these wedding dress stories make me even more appreciative of how lucky I was with mine. I found it on the first place I looked, in less than an hour, it was exactly what I was looking for, and it was under 300 bucks. Even better, my sister-in-law/maid of honor did the alterations for free as a wedding present. I have always known how lucky I was, but yeesh, some people really are nuts about a freaking dress!
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!! That woman is not that kids mommy. I wouldn't want him calling her mommy either. I know plenty of friends who's parents remarried and the step parent is always called by thier first name.
So much evil gets away without punishment because "what's best for the children" I will forever call bs on that nonsense. What's best for the child is to not be around people that think that behavior is even remotely acceptable.
Story 1: I LOVE how OP came up with that story! I have one for you. It's important to understand that when it became possible mark diamonds with a unique id many insurance companies quickly required all that didn't have it to have it done in order to insure the diamonds. At the time, I had it done on all of them just for security purposes (and because I thought it was a really cool idea.) If I remember correctly, it cost me $100 to have all of the diamonds I had done.....9 in total. My mother died when I was in my teens. I inherited ALL the jewelry (only girl.) Because of that I was in possession of 3 flawless diamonds worth a LOT of money. All were set in rings. One was left for me and my mother asked that I give my nieces a ring each when they got engaged. I chose mine and put it away. Then when the girls were teens, they each chose the diamond they wanted (all worth the same, but the cut was different.) The one I chose was set in my mothers engagement ring and I loved it as is. The other two settings were.....not great. When the oldest was discussing marriage with her boyfriend, he came to me and showed me a design he and created and asked if it would work with that diamond. It would. He agreed (written contract) that in the event that they didn't marry, we would either remove the stone and return the setting or pay him for the setting. When the diamond was appraised, he was so stunned he called me and told me what it was worth, asking if I was sure about just giving it to my niece. I told him I was and the ring was created. He brought it to show it to me. It was perfect. He proposed to her, she accepted, and all was well. It's important to understand that when laser etching to identify diamonds became a thing, most insurance companies required all that didn't have it to have it done in order to insure the diamonds. She was spending the weekend with her dad and stepmom when the ring went missing. She had taken it off and left it on the dresser while she helped with yard work and went swimming. Her stepmom said it was dirty and she had taken it to the jewelers for cleaning. My niece was livid but stepmom cried a bit that she was just trying to be nice.......so my brother took her side. The ring was returned the following Friday. Niece was staying at MY house that weekend.....because she was still mad. She picked up the ring and came back to the house. The light hit it just right and I froze. I know it wasn't the same stone. I went to the safe and grabbed the paperwork on the ring and took her to a local jeweler to have the id number checked. It wasn't the same stone. We told him what had happened. Because of the ID number of the new stone he was able to locate the jeweler who had swapped the stone. The "owner" had wanted it put into an antique ring she had. It was stepmom. I went to my brothers house and gave him the information. When confronted, stepmom denied it, of course. My brother believed her. When I told her she could had over the ring OR I was pressing charges, she and my brother were both mad at me for threatening her. She was shocked to find out that diamonds were traceable. She still denied it and appealed to my niece. My brother stated flatly that my niece would NOT be pressing charges. I agreed. As *I* was the legal owner of the diamond, *I* was pressing charges for theft. She asked me why a 23 year old deserved such an expensive diamond when SHE, the wife of my brother (They had been married for about 6 months at the time, known each other for about 18 months) got a cheaper diamond (SHE picked it out!) I told her, "because my mother said so!" I told her we had the jeweler who made the swap on record, we had her on security tapes, I had proof that the ring originally had my mothers diamond in it and the jeweler made the swap. I WAS absolutely going to press charges to get that diamond back. I told her to give me the ring or I was going to call Amy. My brother looked at me for a second and told her to give it to me. She refused and I picked up the phone to call Amy. She handed over the ring. I had the diamonds swapped back. Amy is my best friend. And my attorney. THAT was the first shot fired in a 5 year war.......yes, I eventually won the war. Story 2: I would absolutely go no contact over this. If there is so much as a whisper on social media, I would out them ALL for the invasion of privacy.
10:55 this comment REALLY just got under my skin, she didn't abandon her child?? he was with his dad, how would it be any different if they weren't divorced and the wife had gone on a business trip then? I swear these are the same types of people to make false CPS reports to spite parents they don't like
MIL deserves the dark karma that came her way for getting into OP and fiance's home uninvited and taken what wasn't her's in the first place fiance needs to chill out and scold his mom for her actions
Step mama being called mommy: she is not his mommy just the hoochie that had an affair with his papa. Remind his papa of that and scare him be like: " I know, I have photos of the two of you." Then let him squirm. Kids don't just call people a parental title unless they're told so.
Story 4: NTA. So what I’m hearing is you’ll have less events to plan for AND you won’t have to deal with at least 2 toxic people in your life? Sounds like a benefit to me!
Story 1: I got a good laugh out of that story! It sounds like something that should be on a sitcom! Lol 🤣 OP is NTA and I bet the MIL will think twice before stealing or crossing OP again.
When I was younger one of my aunts took my diary to church and read it to the congregation. I was put on punishment and no, she rarely attended and no one thought it was wrong at all 😢
Nta. They stomped all over your personal boundaries and privacy. They made it a group event even. I would have went off. On the parents and siblings. It would be game on. I wouldn't write another word. I would tell them another thing. I would expose everything I knew about them. These things are disgusting wastes of deplorable skin. They are just pathetic and horrible. OP get out asap.
Don't write another word, and before they can read it anymore, burn the diary. Now the parents are going to wonder why their kid doesn't see them anymore.
Drop the kid of fathers house, tell him to enjoy his new mother. Second option gather past evidence and take ex to court for full custody with the excuse of parental alienation.
Do NOT give her your dress. No Way No How. Its was made with love for you,keep it for your daughter,if she wants it, do not force her to wear it. Go no contact with the mad side.
Reading OP's diary. Nope, nope, nope!!! That is one of the worst betrayals that can be done by a family member. And to have it done by the whole family? No family board game night in that house with a loving family. As far as I'm concerned, they would be totally dead to me!
Story 2: Is this an episode of Bob's Burgers and they are all reading Tina's diary? Anyway those parents are such huge a-holes. Keep away from those toxic weirdos. Why would anyone read anyone's diary? Gross!
First story. NTA. So your fiance is okay with the fact that his own mother is a thief and enable that behavior?! OP, you should think twice before marrying this man. He already show you clearly that he is a mama boy.
The boyfriend in the final story is wild! "I'm really close to the siblings I shared my whole life with. So this stranger should be really important to you, because you have the same sperm donor." Why does blood automatically mean "family" to some people?
@@athenastewart9167 I "lied" for years to every body who asked about my bio-fathers second family. I knew I had step-brothers and sisters, but told everyone I had two brothers and one sister through him when he died I found out I had three brothers and a sister through him thus I "lied" about how many half brothers I had (5). OP lied about not having a sibling period, as she knew she had one, that they where not family is a whole nother story. I too would "wonder" what else she were hiding. I am very close to my brothers and sister from my Mothers second marriage, but have no contact with my paternal sibs. OP could have easily explained as I do that we never met so never got to know each other till recently so have never been in nor wanted contact with each other. Also in many places OPs sibling is one of her heirs and BF should know this if the relationship gets more serious.
I would wonder what his reaction would be if she said she was adopted. Demand she does a 23andme test to see if there are any relatives out there she doesn't know about?
@@lyndatuttle imagine the bio-dad was an actual sperm donor. Should OP claim that half dozen unconnected children as her siblings, because they share DNA?
Story 2: Don't let them know you see them. Start writing in the diary about horrible things your parents are doing to abuse you when your siblings are not around. Stuff that would put them in prison for a long time.
Diary OP you have taken mature decision by moving out. No conflict, just remove yourself from this situation… low contact is also right decision. I respect your way of just removing yourself from position of disrespect.
I love that fiance in 1st story in the end rolled with the story of malicious intent from OP's thread suggestions which probably only made MIL even more nervous but has to pretend she did it with good intentions in front of her son haha
OP, who had his diary on display for the whole family, must have something unusual about him for even his siblings were sharing his diary. I thought that was so weird that even his parents were in on it. Since OP moved out on his own, I'm assuming all the siblings were adults. How come every last one of them had no shame?
On the family reading diary.... You are better off without those kind of people in your life. Go and stay NC. Also spread to extended family the truth about why you cut them off. No one will trust them nor should they.
Most of the time if you believe in bad luck, curses etc. It is a self full filling thing. I step on cracks to break my mother's back as a child. Hopping & praying that it would slow down her abuses. But nope it did not work. I love my black kitty. I love Fridays the 13 & look forward to them. You MIL fulfilled her own curse for stealing your ring! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Third story this is one of those situations where you're not in the wrong here but this is one of the grounds for parental alienation may come into play here. Think about it you reluctantly decided to go South Korea for 4 months for work and then you come back and your son is calling his stepmother Mommy and your ex-husband doesn't correct him and is someone encouraging it. Something tells me that he's trying to replace you in the eyes of your son with his now wife who he cheated on you and left you for. You're not in the wrong here but the fact that he's going back to seeing his son once a week tells me that his wife has been taking care of your son and basically saw this as the perfect opportunity to be his mother. You're not in the wrong here but be prepared you may have to prepare yourself for another custody battle because the husband is trying to get his one big happy family wish and you're not allowing it
@@stirrednotshaken4823 oh trust me the moment that happens she will cut contact with the sun and make her husband not want anything to do with him. But she's trying to play the whole idea of let me get this child under my skin first then I'll have my own and we'll be the dream family we always wanted
Diary story: ask for a sit down with all of them, and if they can explain themselves and reasonably justify this behavior, and make you feel safe, you’ll resume contact. Otherwise, it’s minimum 1 year no contact. Ask them to justify invading your privacy like that, and explain how it makes you vulnerable and open to abuse based on your private thoughts. After at least the parents immediately defend themselves and say none of them would ever do that, tell them how your siblings already have, and describe what they said. Tell them unless they’ve got something to say that starts all of them admitting they are crap people for doing this, and admitting publicly what they did and that’s why he moved out, you’ll see them in a year, and if anything comes out, you’ll start sharing all their dirty little secrets, which will be much more exciting because you’ll just make stuff up. Oh, and I might also steal any of their wedding albums or similar. Hold them hostage for good behavior. It basically comes down to what the one commenter said, about not seeing how it could be justified - it can’t.
S1: i salute this OP. When being nice doesn't work .... What kind of brain damage, of such people like this MIL, compels them to continue acting in a way as to force son, DIL to go NC and no chance of meeting grand kids. Then we hear the familiar, "woe is me"
1 - NTA and you are brilliant. And yes... good he took back the key but still, change the locks. And do have the stones checked. 2 - NTA but your whole family certainly is. The only thing you need to say to them (via text) is 'I cannot believe that all my privacy has been breached by the people who preached respecting privacy to me the most. I need time. I need space. I need you all to leave me alone for as long as I need to be away from you all and that might be a very long time. Might be forever. ' DO make sure you have all your important papers, change your phone #, block them accordingly. Go zero contact. What horrible people. 3- ETA. All the adults here that is. And you better get some therapy about this. I get that you had to take the opportunity of the job in another country for 4 months but of COURSE they'd bond while you were gone. I am absolutely also side-eyeing step-mom how inappropriate to tell a young child to call her mommy. Did you FaceTime your son daily while you were gone? His attitude needs some adjusting but so does yours. It's gonna take a lot more than you telling your ex you don't want him around her. And no, you do NOT have the right to keep him from his father and his step-mother. Do the right thing for your son. Work out your own issues about this and get your son into therapy. 4- NTA. Sorry Gigi NO means NO. Do put the dress in a safe place and stay low contact with all those crazy entitled selfish people. 5 - NTA, your BF is and I would really reconsider if he's worth keeping.
Brazilian Witch Doctor Helped OP Get The Ring Back: NTA, but take the ring and your fiancee to the jeweler that he had gotten it from and have the ring assessed for damage. If she wasn't trying to steal the stones out of it there's still a chance that the settings could have been damaged wherever she was hiding it. Also, tell hubby wedding is on hold until the locks are changed as good fences make for good neighbors and locked doors make for good families.
The stepmom definitely did something to manipulate the child to her side while his mother was away for four months definitely something weird going on there psychologically
Last Story.. I have a older half sister from my dad 1st marriage. And till this day I don't consider her as my older sister or one of my sisters. Beside she don't see us as her younger siblings either. She knew about us since we were little and us siblings only found out about her when im about to go into middle school.
You either need to move far, far away from your future MIL or else break off the engagement bc she is never going to stop and trust me, 30+ years of non-stop drip, drip, drip toxic influence on your now husband will ruin your marriage.
The one with the “secret” half sister: I sometimes tell people I’m an only child, because that’s how I was raised. My mom had two kids, but my brother died 3 days after he was born-he never came home, so I never knew him. I’m my mom’s only living child. My parents divorced when I was two, and he remarried and had three kids, so I have a half-brother and two half-sisters, but again, I wasn’t raised with them. Still, when I talk about them I call them my brother and sisters. My mom remarried too, and my stepdad had two kids from his first marriage, so I have a stepbrother and stepsister, and when I talk about them I call them my brother and sister, but they were raised by their mom in another state. I’m sure people kinda get whiplash if I’ve told them I was an only child, and then mention a sibling in another context. I am not lying at any point in this. I’m just talking about whatever is relevant in the conversation I’m having, rather than telling people my entire life story every time the subject of family comes up. People need to understand that these days families are complicated, and it can be in fact true that a person like me is an only child who has five living siblings, and had a sixth she never met.
Okay I must say this, when marrying someone you also marry their family, unless they have cut their family off. If your soon to be in-laws are terrible people (like the MIL in this story) DO NOT MARRY THEM, seriously it is never worth it.
I disagree with you 100%. My MIL was a bitch from hell who made her best to make her son's life as miserable as possible, my SIL has taken after her mother - but our marriage has been 100% worth it.
Last story - I have a half brother by my dad's second wife, whom I've never met; two step brothers, two half brothers, and a half sister by his third wife, a half-sister on my mom's side from her second husband, and a step-sister from Mom's third husband. I usually just say I'm an only child.
This is why my diary is in English, most people I know don't know English more than a few basic words, much less complex sentences. Her family is so disgusting, but I am glad she got out safely.
"Do you have siblings?" is a very common first date question. However, "my dad isn't my biological father and my bio dad has another family" is not a first date disclosure. OP's answer wasn't a lie. It was the simple truth to a complicated question. When OP's relationship progressed so did her disclosure. As we build trust we share more of ourselves. OP shared an intimate detail about herself. Instead of being flattered that OP opened up to him her boyfriend shamed her for not sharing that truth earlier when they were perfect strangers. WTF.
It's not that hard to say I have a half sibling that I'm not associated with or since you're going the whole comfort route maybe say idk it's complicated or I'm not comfortable talking about that she kept the lie up for an entire year I assume she saw a future with this man so it will also affect him it's also reasonable to wonder what other things she lied about since she lied about one of the foundations a relationship is built apon its like lieing about debt if you don't feel comfortable talking about something then say that instead of lieing and making the question what else you're lieing about estranged siblings are still siblings
I'd still be inclined to take that ring to a trusted jeweler to verify it is what was originally bought. Too many shysters out there. It would have been funny if grandmother would have played along when she met her future MIL though. I must admit that their resolution was more grown up albeit less funny than my idea.
Story 1 - Girl, why isn't your fiance handling his crazy mother? He is spineless. Its all fine in the beginning of your marriage but let me tell you, it's not so "fine" 10 years later. In-laws are one of the top reasons for divorce. It's fine having crazy in-laws but your spouse needs to protect you from their behavior. The husband saying "you know how she is" to excuse this behavior is a HUGE red flag. (Edit: I'm glad to hear the husband is stepping up).
Story #2 that is the EXACT reason why I have never and will never keep a diary, it will always be found and read, privacy is an illusion when it comes to diaries.
Parental alienation is something that can lose you parenting time. Talk to your lawyer or go to court.
Yeah. Op is definitely guilty of that and should be censured.
Wow. Hearing that his whole family was sitting around reading his diary aloud literally made a wave of nausea cascade through my body. That family is disgusting.
I've heard so many stories of parental figures reading the diary, not liking what was written, and punishing the kid in some way. I've also heard the story of the stepmom either listening in to therapy sessions, or having her bestie therapist that she recommended to OP, share the deets. Add in the recent Depp/Heard lawsuit where their diary and therapy sessions were made public to the world, and I've decided I'm happy staying anonymous, letting my dark secret thoughts fester into oblivion.
Agree! Bad enough if the parents did it, but having a "book club" WITH THE SIBLINGS?! Holy crow that is absolutely horrible
I think it’s pretty obvious that OP in this story is the scapegoat for the family. They preached privacy because deep down inside they knew they weren’t respecting his. Nor did they care.
Yeah the diary story ,your parents are enormous AH'S , first off they shouldn't read it no matter what, if they were really doing it to make sure he's OK then why share it with the siblings?? OP go no contact with the whole lot of them. I guess his parents never heard Practice what you Preach. Absolutely horrible parents and siblings.
@@arleneclark6369 but even going completely no contact, make sure to take prizes sentimental personal possessions with you, but never admit it. If they accuse “wow, that must really hurt having something so personal and private taken from you, out there in the world where you don’t know who might have it or what they might do with it.”
If they try to get threatening, “wow, I hope you never inadvertently treat whoever might have it like that. They might destroy it, or spread it around.”
The mommy one: the stepmom told the child to dlc all he mommy. Hell no. She is not mommy. OP was gone fit work, sometimes you can’t take ur child on work trip.
4 months is no big deal AT ALL. My dad was in the Army and ended up getting sent to Korea for the first year of my life. I don’t even remember it. When I was growing up he would be sent on TDY (temporary duty) for a few weeks here, a few months there. We missed him of course, but that was just life. He didn’t freaking *abandon* us. By the way, this was also in the 70’s and 80’s when long-distance communication was almost exclusively via paper letters (phone calls were expensive and sometimes difficult if he wasn’t stationed in a city). The issue here isn’t OP’s non-existent “abandonment” but the stepmother’s creepy overstepping of boundaries.
Why are mons always expected to reject a good promotion that helps with the family but dads are encouraged? Either dads are as important as moms like people say or they aren't and people just want to reduce moms to incubators and walking milk cartons
Yea but people would give the guy way more shit for leaving for 4 months then the mom did the mom abandoned her kid then got mad when someone took her place and most promotions don't require you to abandon your child for 4 months you're making a mountain out of a mole hill since these weren't normal circumstances
She didn't TAKE the ring, she STOLE the ring, I would have called the cops after her first excuse
I’d tell my mommy’s boy fiancé if he didn’t call the cops and have her arrested, wedding OFF
Reading someone else's diary is like looking into their heart and soul. Reading it without permission is one of the worst non-physical violations I can think of.
Then to top it off by making it a family bonding spectator sport...that goes far beyond violation, that's pure evil in it's cruelty.
Story 1: NTA. 👏👏👏👏 Bravo OP! Excellent use of mind games and karma! MIL “Cursed” her own darn self. 🤣
Now that I think about it. This is an excellent example of the placebo effect :P
Curses only work when the "cursed" believe the curse is real. It only "worked" because the "cursed" believed the curse was real and subconsciously did things to bring about bad things.
When my mother was with her ex, his younger children loved her so much they starting slipping up and called her mommy. They were 3 at the time. She would correct them and remind them they have a mommy who loves them very much. Eventually she suggested that they can pick out different name just for them. They liked that idea. Correcting a child does not mean rejection of their affection. Even though she & my ma were not on the best terms, it was a respect factor & understanding as a parent not to cross certain boundaries.
It would be one thing if op’s child called his step mom mommy on his own, but her telling him to call her mommy is crossing a boundary and I don’t think it’s wrong for her not to want the step mom as involved when she’s acting shady and when op does for whatever reason already have sole custody. If the dad wants to complain about being kept from his child or not getting to chose who’s around his child he can go back to court for partial custody instead of lying to op. It’s also funny that the parent who has sole custody is getting called out for “abandonment” when 1) the child was left with the other PARENT and 2) there was an established time line they would be gone for WORK. Apparently leaving your child with their father while communicating what’s going on and most likely calling the child while gone is abandonment.
Wow. If it had been the mom that cheated and the kid was calling her affair partner "daddy" I have a feeling a lot of people would have responded differently.
Third story, No one finds it suspicious that OP's son did not react when OP called for him? He didn't do anything until she picked him up? After four months he should have been thrilled that his mommy was there. He is five, he didn't forget what his mom looked like. Who hasn't seen videos of men and women of the military coming home and surprising children (and pets) after being gone for months or a year. And OP's son had no reaction to her return? Instead of banning the step-mom she needs to immediately see a lawyer about parental alienation because no kid would ignore their mom without a given reason.
I am surprised the ex did not go for full custody, based on abandonment, while she was gone. I picked up on the child not recognizing his mother. Did she not have any facetime contact with her while she was gone? Did she never call him? Something is not right. Why didn't her ex, emotionally, prepare her son for her return. Make me wonder if she was totally no contact with her son when she was gone. With the "call me mommy" thing going on I am sure the child was told that he was living with them from now on, but OP needed to maintain contact with him, on a frequent regular basis, to reassure him that she loved him and was returning and to help him count down the days until she came home.
@@mimiNana-yi4cy On the custody thing, there seems to have been an agreement that he stay with his father while she worked. Otherwise there would have been an agreement that she could take him out of the country for four months. If she could have even taken him due to work.
It is not abandonment if you have to leave for work, otherwise everyone in the military abandons their kids when they get deployed. She had to make the choice to leave for four months to make a better life for her child or wait for the next opportunity.
It would have been nice if she had mentioned if she was calling/facetiming her son. Someone in the comments believes that the step-mom is trying to get that ready made family and become the boys new mommy and kick out the old.
My nephews are like the OP’s son. They HATE leaving if they’re having fun. I don’t think it’s that deep with her kid
@@mimiNana-yi4cy abandonment? How? Father would have been told she was away for 4 months otherwise its a CPS issue. Any court would throw out a custody request based on a false abandonment claim.
@@TipTheScales27 Your kids would rather play and ignore you after not seeing you for four months? If it a day or a weekend fun trip I can see that, but FOUR months? After two weeks on vacation my cats are all over me and I have to peel them off for the next three days. Op's son ignored her when she called his name and only reacted when she picked him up. This is not how a child reacts after seeing their mommy after missing her for four months. Something is wonky.
story 2 update: if you wanna read the title is "AITA for moving out after realizing my ENTIRE......". he describes his university situation and wanted to speak again. apparently he is not as good as his siblings and has social anxiety that the parents refused to get therapy for so instead tried to intervene like this. coz siblings didnt need therapy and its a waste of money. as always tears, screams and kick them out
Story1: Huge NTA, and I love OP's style! Aww the sticky-fingered MiL won't talk to OP any more? I call that a win! But seriously she should scold her fiance right back. MiL thinks she got it bad with OP's "curse"? She should consider herself lucky she didn't get real trouble, and land in jail! If fiance seriously thinks OP's in the wrong when MiL stole her ring, hellooooo dog-house! Glad the fiance got his act together, and got the key back.
I might have told her to put fresh chicken bones under her pillow during a full moon to remove the curse.
Hello doghouse? It would be hello break up for me
@Devil Kitty i agree I would have done the same thing
Story 1: Op is a genius. Why tf would the MIL steal her engagement ring? That's wtf she gets! 😂😂😂
Being a native Brazilian I have never been so proud.
First story. The suggestion of telling the Brazillian grandmother about the ring story was fantastic. Depending on the grandmother, she could really play into it at the wedding.
Story 3: NTA. Look, maybe your sensitive about this woman, but by no means are you crazy for demanding that she not be called “Mommy”. If you have full custody why is this even a conversation? Can ExHusbands new Wife not be just as close with him as “Stepmom” or whatever her actual name is?
for 4 months that lady was mommy. she fed the child made sure they went to bed took care of them took them to the doctor. SHE WAS MOMMY. if OP was that upset then the bitch shouldn't have left her child.
My siblings and I had a stepmom and our mom was mom, but my former stepmom who we still love as dearly as she does us was mama Marcie. No one including my mom had any problems with it. They were good friends who both only cared about us that we were well taken care of and happy. The title difference respected both women and their parts in mine and my siblings lives. Mom never felt any jealousy or worry because her bond with us was very strong. No one could replace her in our lives and she knew it. Mama Marcie got the respect she well deserved as a loving stepmother of having mama in front of her name. However in this case nope, no way and how inappropriate and disrespectful that the stepmom is being called "mom". Again my stepmom knew her place, showed respect and never stepped on my mom's toes. She told us to call her mama Marcie not mom out of respect for my mom. Mama Marcie would never have done anything like that which explains a lot about why my mom never ever had any issues with her and greatly returned that respect.
Isn’t that the kids call? If he likes her and wants to call her mom then wouldn’t op telling him not to cause him to feel unnecessarily guilty and confused? Why make it into a big deal? The ship sailed so trying to backtrack it now will just make the kid think he did something wrong and that he isn’t allowed to like his dads wife.
@@tracim3080 That's making the assumption that it was the kids choice and not what he was told. There is also the fact that he is a kid and kids don't know what's appropriate and what's not so it's the adult's role to tell the kid what is and isn't appropriate. The bottom line here is that both the dad and stepmom did do something wrong in allowing him to call her mom for ANY reason and that breach of respect and possible parental alienation is something that needs to be dealt with. If the child is told they did nothing wrong because they didn't know any better, it was the adult's who allowed it who made the mistake then I think the kid will handle it ok.
@@cisio64123 it’s making an assumption either way. Ops is going crazy when she doesn’t need to.
She makes assumptions about her ex cheating, she makes assumption about them trying to replace her, she makes assumption about everything. She needs to calm the hell down and relax.
Her son is 5, the woman looked after him for 4 months. At that age he thinks any female who is taking care of him equals mom. It’s what the majority of children books and shows are likely to teach him. Not a lot of kids entertainment that explain divorce and step parents at the 5 year old level.
Especially since the kid would have just started school so there is a very good chance the other kids called the woman dropping them off/picking them up “mom” so he just called the woman driving him to in from school mom.
Story #2 is the exact kind of thing that makes me hate the idea of a diary. It would be so easy for people to break your trust and look at all the personal, private details inside.
That's why people now have a Personal diary on their phones who is locked protected
Tbh the rest of the family are kinda lucky .... shit like that is a good way to get unalived if you are the parents ... they’re called psychotic breaks for a reason
@@stirrednotshaken4823 it’s a good way to have a lot of your sentimental, cherished belongings disappear.
The story about the diary is horrendous. There is something so incredibly SICK about what the family did. It's bad enough having parents do it. But having your parents reading it to your siblings for entertainment.... I am sensing some strong narcissistic personality disorder in this family. Run OP. And don't look back.
Re the stepmother who told OP's son to call her mommy--that can backfire big time. My husband's horrible ex had him calling his stepfather Daddy and his actual father by his first name. My poor 8 year old stepson developed a nervous tic over what he was supposed to call who at what house. Now, decades later, stepson has gone low contact with her and her other son is completely no contact. Both boys refuse to have kids. She did it to herself.
Story 2: NTA. Unless your legitimately scared for someone’s safety or well being then there is NEVER an excuse to invade someone’s privacy. I would have sent out post about this and any other “sensitive” information on social media before cutting them out.
I agree. I always liked writing in a diary but was always concerned someone would read it too. This, I have a password protected journal on my computer. Much safer.
This story disgusted me. Lit it's unjustifiable no matter what. If you aren't getting permission from that person then don't touch no ones personal private stuff.
I never kept a diary, but I had a lot of penpals starting at 16 and continuing into my 30's. I would write long letters. My mother once told me she wanted to read the letters I wrote and received. My mother is a narcissist and she was training me well to be a doormat, but I scared her when I exploded and told her she had no rights to what I wrote. Then she changed her tune and from then on told me no one would be interested in what I wrote anyway. Strange, they kept answering my letters...
@@lyndatuttle her comment “no one would be interested…” is classic narcissistic gaslighting and manipulation. So sorry you had that in a mother.
@@lisalee2594 thank you. Strangely enough, I am learning a lot of techniques in dealing with her from Reddit and tiktok. Therapy is helping too.
That child should NOT be calling anyone else Mommy!
Story 2)
Wait, they invited your _siblings_ to these read-alongs?
Bro wtf, Shinobi ghost these people 😀
Gigi and whoever else agrees with her needs to get the hell on . Why do people feel they're entitled to wear someone else's wedding dress that has EXTREME sentimental value is beyond me.
The only ones being selfish and entitled are those demanding the dress.
I have a very strong feeling that the ex wouldn’t like it if OP’s next partner is called daddy or other daddy. This whole crap is disgusting and using the child. Step parents, especially the ones who were side pieces, need to know their place. That woman and the ex don’t care about anyone but themselves. Wife #2 unknowingly made room for the next mistress while she’s being so desperate to pretend to be mommy to have some fantasy family instead of creating her own.
I wondering if they are trying to win the kid over, to get more custody so that the husband has to pay less support
She already spends her time on her back so it should be easy to get knocked up!!
@@velvety2006 And taking advantage of the kid's vulnerable state to do so. I agree with the commenter who pointed out that the kid would have felt abandoned, and it wouldn't be hard to do.
@@black1917 especially if op decides to go on another few month's work trip, it would not be to difficult to prove for the dad that the kid has more stability with them, the parents that don't leave for months on end for work
All these wedding dress stories make me even more appreciative of how lucky I was with mine. I found it on the first place I looked, in less than an hour, it was exactly what I was looking for, and it was under 300 bucks. Even better, my sister-in-law/maid of honor did the alterations for free as a wedding present. I have always known how lucky I was, but yeesh, some people really are nuts about a freaking dress!
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!! That woman is not that kids mommy. I wouldn't want him calling her mommy either. I know plenty of friends who's parents remarried and the step parent is always called by thier first name.
So much evil gets away without punishment because "what's best for the children" I will forever call bs on that nonsense. What's best for the child is to not be around people that think that behavior is even remotely acceptable.
Step mother knew she crossed the line have a toddler that's not her's call her mommy. OP needs to put a stop to this now
Honestly wouldn’t marry the fiancé if his mother is like that
Edit; got to the fiancé taking the key back hell yeah.
To Hannah... I agree...It is a gut instinct sign! She needs to nip this behavior of the MIL right in the bud now!
Personally I'd have changed the locks as well
@@lauralfreeberg2179 Yeah, this. Mommy dearest could have made a duplicate and that was why she willingly gave the key back.
Story 1:
I LOVE how OP came up with that story!
I have one for you.
It's important to understand that when it became possible mark diamonds with a unique id many insurance companies quickly required all that didn't have it to have it done in order to insure the diamonds. At the time, I had it done on all of them just for security purposes (and because I thought it was a really cool idea.) If I remember correctly, it cost me $100 to have all of the diamonds I had done.....9 in total.
My mother died when I was in my teens. I inherited ALL the jewelry (only girl.) Because of that I was in possession of 3 flawless diamonds worth a LOT of money. All were set in rings. One was left for me and my mother asked that I give my nieces a ring each when they got engaged. I chose mine and put it away. Then when the girls were teens, they each chose the diamond they wanted (all worth the same, but the cut was different.) The one I chose was set in my mothers engagement ring and I loved it as is. The other two settings were.....not great. When the oldest was discussing marriage with her boyfriend, he came to me and showed me a design he and created and asked if it would work with that diamond. It would. He agreed (written contract) that in the event that they didn't marry, we would either remove the stone and return the setting or pay him for the setting. When the diamond was appraised, he was so stunned he called me and told me what it was worth, asking if I was sure about just giving it to my niece. I told him I was and the ring was created. He brought it to show it to me. It was perfect. He proposed to her, she accepted, and all was well.
It's important to understand that when laser etching to identify diamonds became a thing, most insurance companies required all that didn't have it to have it done in order to insure the diamonds.
She was spending the weekend with her dad and stepmom when the ring went missing. She had taken it off and left it on the dresser while she helped with yard work and went swimming. Her stepmom said it was dirty and she had taken it to the jewelers for cleaning. My niece was livid but stepmom cried a bit that she was just trying to be nice.......so my brother took her side. The ring was returned the following Friday. Niece was staying at MY house that weekend.....because she was still mad. She picked up the ring and came back to the house. The light hit it just right and I froze. I know it wasn't the same stone. I went to the safe and grabbed the paperwork on the ring and took her to a local jeweler to have the id number checked. It wasn't the same stone. We told him what had happened. Because of the ID number of the new stone he was able to locate the jeweler who had swapped the stone. The "owner" had wanted it put into an antique ring she had. It was stepmom.
I went to my brothers house and gave him the information. When confronted, stepmom denied it, of course. My brother believed her. When I told her she could had over the ring OR I was pressing charges, she and my brother were both mad at me for threatening her. She was shocked to find out that diamonds were traceable. She still denied it and appealed to my niece. My brother stated flatly that my niece would NOT be pressing charges. I agreed. As *I* was the legal owner of the diamond, *I* was pressing charges for theft. She asked me why a 23 year old deserved such an expensive diamond when SHE, the wife of my brother (They had been married for about 6 months at the time, known each other for about 18 months) got a cheaper diamond (SHE picked it out!) I told her, "because my mother said so!" I told her we had the jeweler who made the swap on record, we had her on security tapes, I had proof that the ring originally had my mothers diamond in it and the jeweler made the swap. I WAS absolutely going to press charges to get that diamond back. I told her to give me the ring or I was going to call Amy. My brother looked at me for a second and told her to give it to me. She refused and I picked up the phone to call Amy. She handed over the ring. I had the diamonds swapped back. Amy is my best friend. And my attorney.
THAT was the first shot fired in a 5 year war.......yes, I eventually won the war.
Story 2:
I would absolutely go no contact over this. If there is so much as a whisper on social media, I would out them ALL for the invasion of privacy.
10:55 this comment REALLY just got under my skin, she didn't abandon her child?? he was with his dad, how would it be any different if they weren't divorced and the wife had gone on a business trip then? I swear these are the same types of people to make false CPS reports to spite parents they don't like
MIL deserves the dark karma that came her way for getting into OP and fiance's home uninvited and taken what wasn't her's in the first place fiance needs to chill out and scold his mom for her actions
Step mama being called mommy: she is not his mommy just the hoochie that had an affair with his papa. Remind his papa of that and scare him be like:
" I know, I have photos of the two of you."
Then let him squirm.
Kids don't just call people a parental title unless they're told so.
Exactly
And when he calls her bluff about the photos and uses all of this as a way to get custody, oh, what laughs will be had!
S2: WOW THATS SO FKED UP. The entirely family is INSANELY fked up
Story 4: NTA. So what I’m hearing is you’ll have less events to plan for AND you won’t have to deal with at least 2 toxic people in your life? Sounds like a benefit to me!
Story 1: I got a good laugh out of that story! It sounds like something that should be on a sitcom! Lol 🤣 OP is NTA and I bet the MIL will think twice before stealing or crossing OP again.
When I was younger one of my aunts took my diary to church and read it to the congregation. I was put on punishment and no, she rarely attended and no one thought it was wrong at all 😢
See now the BF is in trouble because his plan to sell his first born of an only child mother to demons is absolutely ruined
I'm adopted. Biologically, I have 7 siblings. Legally and emotionally, I have 1.
Nta. They stomped all over your personal boundaries and privacy. They made it a group event even. I would have went off. On the parents and siblings. It would be game on. I wouldn't write another word. I would tell them another thing. I would expose everything I knew about them. These things are disgusting wastes of deplorable skin. They are just pathetic and horrible. OP get out asap.
Don't write another word, and before they can read it anymore, burn the diary. Now the parents are going to wonder why their kid doesn't see them anymore.
Last story… op is Nta and quite frankly I would dump that bf for being so quick to judge and accuse. Huge red flag and surely op can do better.
Never write down anything you don't want to answer to in court.
I'm just glad adultery is a punishable crime in my country.
Drop the kid of fathers house, tell him to enjoy his new mother. Second option gather past evidence and take ex to court for full custody with the excuse of parental alienation.
NTA in clear child alienation story
NTA in "lying about sibling" story. I have 1 sibling but 2 step sisters. I never mentioned steps moms kids.
LOL The ole cursed ring. Every family should have one.
Do NOT give her your dress. No Way No How. Its was made with love for you,keep it for your daughter,if she wants it, do not force her to wear it. Go no contact with the mad side.
Reading OP's diary. Nope, nope, nope!!! That is one of the worst betrayals that can be done by a family member. And to have it done by the whole family? No family board game night in that house with a loving family. As far as I'm concerned, they would be totally dead to me!
Hells to the no, don't lend out your wedding dress. Keep it for your little girl
Yeah... its not normal to tell kids to call you mommy when you're not their mom.
Tell her you'll remove the curse if she pays for the honeymoon.
Don’t loan the dress out. Not even related. How dare she blame you for having to pay for her own dress.
Scolded !? Let’s not marry this man.
Not just reading the diary, but doing so as an event for the whole family?
I enjoy hearing him laugh 😂
Story 2: Is this an episode of Bob's Burgers and they are all reading Tina's diary? Anyway those parents are such huge a-holes. Keep away from those toxic weirdos. Why would anyone read anyone's diary? Gross!
Stepmother reading my diary is the reason I stopped "journaling".
First story. NTA. So your fiance is okay with the fact that his own mother is a thief and enable that behavior?! OP, you should think twice before marrying this man. He already show you clearly that he is a mama boy.
The boyfriend in the final story is wild! "I'm really close to the siblings I shared my whole life with. So this stranger should be really important to you, because you have the same sperm donor." Why does blood automatically mean "family" to some people?
Because they don't know any better.
@@athenastewart9167 I "lied" for years to every body who asked about my bio-fathers second family.
I knew I had step-brothers and sisters, but told everyone I had two brothers and one sister through him when he died I found out I had three brothers and a sister through him thus I "lied" about how many half brothers I had (5).
OP lied about not having a sibling period, as she knew she had one, that they where not family is a whole nother story.
I too would "wonder" what else she were hiding. I am very close to my brothers and sister from my Mothers second marriage, but have no contact with my paternal sibs. OP could have easily explained as I do that we never met so never got to know each other till recently so have never been in nor wanted contact with each other.
Also in many places OPs sibling is one of her heirs and BF should know this if the relationship gets more serious.
I would wonder what his reaction would be if she said she was adopted. Demand she does a 23andme test to see if there are any relatives out there she doesn't know about?
@@lyndatuttle imagine the bio-dad was an actual sperm donor. Should OP claim that half dozen unconnected children as her siblings, because they share DNA?
@@lyndatuttle there's a difference between not knowing and deliberately lieing which is what she did
S1 - The comment that the curse doesn't work when there is not any bad intention can backfire. What if she HAD bad intentions? Haha.
That was kind of the point, she would have to admit she had bad intentions if she continued to harass them XD
Story 2: Don't let them know you see them. Start writing in the diary about horrible things your parents are doing to abuse you when your siblings are not around. Stuff that would put them in prison for a long time.
Time to roll out the stories of sexual abuse. The more hardcore, the better.
I have a half brother and sister that I don't claim. Didn't grow up with them and have seen them maybe twice in my life.
Diary OP you have taken mature decision by moving out. No conflict, just remove yourself from this situation… low contact is also right decision. I respect your way of just removing yourself from position of disrespect.
No contact would be better.
I love that fiance in 1st story in the end rolled with the story of malicious intent from OP's thread suggestions which probably only made MIL even more nervous but has to pretend she did it with good intentions in front of her son haha
THEY WERE SAPOSE 2 ALWAYS KEEP HIS MOTHER ON HIS . MIND , THEY BRAINWASHED HIM
OP, who had his diary on display for the whole family, must have something unusual about him for even his siblings were sharing his diary. I thought that was so weird that even his parents were in on it. Since OP moved out on his own, I'm assuming all the siblings were adults. How come every last one of them had no shame?
OP1, dump him. He'll never stand up for you.
Tell her also your grandma, curses those that snoop, blames or even hates you.
S1..that's what she gets..bravo
On the family reading diary.... You are better off without those kind of people in your life. Go and stay NC. Also spread to extended family the truth about why you cut them off. No one will trust them nor should they.
Most of the time if you believe in bad luck, curses etc. It is a self full filling thing. I step on cracks to break my mother's back as a child. Hopping & praying that it would slow down her abuses. But nope it did not work. I love my black kitty. I love Fridays the 13 & look forward to them.
You MIL fulfilled her own curse for stealing your ring! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
How does an engagement ring get so dirty before the wedding? Made up by mom.
Third story this is one of those situations where you're not in the wrong here but this is one of the grounds for parental alienation may come into play here. Think about it you reluctantly decided to go South Korea for 4 months for work and then you come back and your son is calling his stepmother Mommy and your ex-husband doesn't correct him and is someone encouraging it. Something tells me that he's trying to replace you in the eyes of your son with his now wife who he cheated on you and left you for. You're not in the wrong here but the fact that he's going back to seeing his son once a week tells me that his wife has been taking care of your son and basically saw this as the perfect opportunity to be his mother. You're not in the wrong here but be prepared you may have to prepare yourself for another custody battle because the husband is trying to get his one big happy family wish and you're not allowing it
@@stirrednotshaken4823 oh trust me the moment that happens she will cut contact with the sun and make her husband not want anything to do with him. But she's trying to play the whole idea of let me get this child under my skin first then I'll have my own and we'll be the dream family we always wanted
tell a person they are cursed for bad behavior and they will get hurt why? because they always act like aholes so bad things happen to them.
Diary story: ask for a sit down with all of them, and if they can explain themselves and reasonably justify this behavior, and make you feel safe, you’ll resume contact. Otherwise, it’s minimum 1 year no contact.
Ask them to justify invading your privacy like that, and explain how it makes you vulnerable and open to abuse based on your private thoughts.
After at least the parents immediately defend themselves and say none of them would ever do that, tell them how your siblings already have, and describe what they said. Tell them unless they’ve got something to say that starts all of them admitting they are crap people for doing this, and admitting publicly what they did and that’s why he moved out, you’ll see them in a year, and if anything comes out, you’ll start sharing all their dirty little secrets, which will be much more exciting because you’ll just make stuff up.
Oh, and I might also steal any of their wedding albums or similar. Hold them hostage for good behavior.
It basically comes down to what the one commenter said, about not seeing how it could be justified - it can’t.
Reasonably justify? The fact that the siblings went STRAIGHT to using what OP wrote as a weapon against him shows their intentions.
S1: i salute this OP. When being nice doesn't work .... What kind of brain damage, of such people like this MIL, compels them to continue acting in a way as to force son, DIL to go NC and no chance of meeting grand kids. Then we hear the familiar, "woe is me"
Yeah I experienced something similar to story 2 that and is the reason I stopped having a journal at all
1 - NTA and you are brilliant. And yes... good he took back the key but still, change the locks. And do have the stones checked. 2 - NTA but your whole family certainly is. The only thing you need to say to them (via text) is 'I cannot believe that all my privacy has been breached by the people who preached respecting privacy to me the most. I need time. I need space. I need you all to leave me alone for as long as I need to be away from you all and that might be a very long time. Might be forever. ' DO make sure you have all your important papers, change your phone #, block them accordingly. Go zero contact. What horrible people. 3- ETA. All the adults here that is. And you better get some therapy about this. I get that you had to take the opportunity of the job in another country for 4 months but of COURSE they'd bond while you were gone. I am absolutely also side-eyeing step-mom how inappropriate to tell a young child to call her mommy. Did you FaceTime your son daily while you were gone? His attitude needs some adjusting but so does yours. It's gonna take a lot more than you telling your ex you don't want him around her. And no, you do NOT have the right to keep him from his father and his step-mother. Do the right thing for your son. Work out your own issues about this and get your son into therapy. 4- NTA. Sorry Gigi NO means NO. Do put the dress in a safe place and stay low contact with all those crazy entitled selfish people. 5 - NTA, your BF is and I would really reconsider if he's worth keeping.
Brazilian Witch Doctor Helped OP Get The Ring Back: NTA, but take the ring and your fiancee to the jeweler that he had gotten it from and have the ring assessed for damage. If she wasn't trying to steal the stones out of it there's still a chance that the settings could have been damaged wherever she was hiding it. Also, tell hubby wedding is on hold until the locks are changed as good fences make for good neighbors and locked doors make for good families.
The stepmom definitely did something to manipulate the child to her side while his mother was away for four months definitely something weird going on there psychologically
S1 NTA she lied she stole it. She's cursed lol. Your fiance better step up.
Last Story.. I have a older half sister from my dad 1st marriage. And till this day I don't consider her as my older sister or one of my sisters. Beside she don't see us as her younger siblings either. She knew about us since we were little and us siblings only found out about her when im about to go into middle school.
You either need to move far, far away from your future MIL or else break off the engagement bc she is never going to stop and trust me, 30+ years of non-stop drip, drip, drip toxic influence on your now husband will ruin your marriage.
The one with the “secret” half sister: I sometimes tell people I’m an only child, because that’s how I was raised. My mom had two kids, but my brother died 3 days after he was born-he never came home, so I never knew him. I’m my mom’s only living child. My parents divorced when I was two, and he remarried and had three kids, so I have a half-brother and two half-sisters, but again, I wasn’t raised with them. Still, when I talk about them I call them my brother and sisters. My mom remarried too, and my stepdad had two kids from his first marriage, so I have a stepbrother and stepsister, and when I talk about them I call them my brother and sister, but they were raised by their mom in another state. I’m sure people kinda get whiplash if I’ve told them I was an only child, and then mention a sibling in another context. I am not lying at any point in this. I’m just talking about whatever is relevant in the conversation I’m having, rather than telling people my entire life story every time the subject of family comes up. People need to understand that these days families are complicated, and it can be in fact true that a person like me is an only child who has five living siblings, and had a sixth she never met.
Okay I must say this, when marrying someone you also marry their family, unless they have cut their family off. If your soon to be in-laws are terrible people (like the MIL in this story) DO NOT MARRY THEM, seriously it is never worth it.
You are not also marrying their family if you can’t keep boundaries with your relatives you’re part of the problem!
I disagree with you 100%. My MIL was a bitch from hell who made her best to make her son's life as miserable as possible, my SIL has taken after her mother - but our marriage has been 100% worth it.
Last story - I have a half brother by my dad's second wife, whom I've never met; two step brothers, two half brothers, and a half sister by his third wife, a half-sister on my mom's side from her second husband, and a step-sister from Mom's third husband. I usually just say I'm an only child.
Story 1, NTA, and I wouldn't marry into that family.
This is why my diary is in English, most people I know don't know English more than a few basic words, much less complex sentences. Her family is so disgusting, but I am glad she got out safely.
Feel so bad for you It would be a no contact with everyone who in family who thought it was ok to invade my privacy
"Do you have siblings?" is a very common first date question. However, "my dad isn't my biological father and my bio dad has another family" is not a first date disclosure. OP's answer wasn't a lie. It was the simple truth to a complicated question. When OP's relationship progressed so did her disclosure. As we build trust we share more of ourselves. OP shared an intimate detail about herself. Instead of being flattered that OP opened up to him her boyfriend shamed her for not sharing that truth earlier when they were perfect strangers. WTF.
It's not that hard to say I have a half sibling that I'm not associated with or since you're going the whole comfort route maybe say idk it's complicated or I'm not comfortable talking about that she kept the lie up for an entire year I assume she saw a future with this man so it will also affect him it's also reasonable to wonder what other things she lied about since she lied about one of the foundations a relationship is built apon its like lieing about debt if you don't feel comfortable talking about something then say that instead of lieing and making the question what else you're lieing about estranged siblings are still siblings
No your not she has no right to steal your engagement ring change your locks keep her out of your home...
I'd still be inclined to take that ring to a trusted jeweler to verify it is what was originally bought. Too many shysters out there. It would have been funny if grandmother would have played along when she met her future MIL though. I must admit that their resolution was more grown up albeit less funny than my idea.
Diary story, Too bad you don't have the money to hire a PI to dig up all the dirt on your parents then go public with the info.
NTI because if it was the ex and the his ex wife and the kid called his step father daddy ,he would be pissed ..
Let's hear it for the 'witchy' people out there!
Story #2. Write some outlandish stuff to poison each other.
Story 1 - Girl, why isn't your fiance handling his crazy mother? He is spineless. Its all fine in the beginning of your marriage but let me tell you, it's not so "fine" 10 years later. In-laws are one of the top reasons for divorce. It's fine having crazy in-laws but your spouse needs to protect you from their behavior. The husband saying "you know how she is" to excuse this behavior is a HUGE red flag. (Edit: I'm glad to hear the husband is stepping up).
Story #2 that is the EXACT reason why I have never and will never keep a diary, it will always be found and read, privacy is an illusion when it comes to diaries.