For the dad who keeps coming into the room. Ask out loud in front of others why he feels the need to walk in on you naked all the time. Tell him you find it a little unnerving because you feel he is perving off of you. See how fast his behaviour changes after that convo.
I Think OP should have a couple drinks of "liquid courage" if he can't do it without, then walk around the house bare naked for a while include a meal or two. When someone knocks on the door (or pretend) say "I'll Get It!" Either dad will take the "Hint" or if he doesn't, then tell him you'll not be paying Rent because people who do Can Expect a level of privacy that you Don't Receive!
Alternatively, press sexual harassment on dad. If he goes ballistic, tell him he can shut it down and respect your privacy, or expect it to be leaked to neighbors, collegues etc that he gets off looking at his naked daughter and daughter filed sexual harassment.
@@arleneclark6369 and every priest in the Catholic Church is a man, but they mainly abused boys. Whatvis your point? There is nothing stopping a pervert father from focusing on his son.
Story 1: NTA. Look, it IS a taboo to come out at someone’s wedding. But they 100% egged you on. And frankly speaking it’s shouldn’t be acceptable to push people on others be you think they should just conform to your wants already.
Agreed, his parents goaded poor OP until he finally hit his breaking point, he should definitely go low contact with his family for sometime with the exception of Julia. Much kudos to her for being in her brother's corner! :D OP's dad is especially gross with his backwards, outdated standards of masculinity with that "Sissypants" dig.
@@WyntheRogue same with who ever said "if you're wired wrong." is also a gross person. And that one commenter saying OP is the AH for "chosing to come out on her wedding day" is so dead wrong and misunderstood the whole story. 😑
First story the OP did not "choose" to come out there. They were tired of being poked at and insulted and exploded. The fact that him coming out to defend himself "ruined her wedding" but her parent insulting family members didn't is such an awful thing. Last story the MIL literally sat on the team's bleachers that opposed her grandson to get at the OP. She was willing to hurt her grandson for the sake of a petty fight. I'd say OP is in the right to say she isn't allowed at any more if she is going to hurt the child to hurt OP. What a horrid person
@@ivayloivanov7231 there is no indication in the story to show that OP is in love with his new BIL. Where did you pull that out of? OPs family was asking for that reaction they poked at him until he blew up. He deserves better and the bride was asking for her wedding to be ruined. I would of told my parents to cut it out.
@@CelesteMinerva Im 40 old male and my family never ending harass me to find a wife and have kids! I dont care! Im not gonna ruin some one life for it! Only snowflake woke ppl. are like that! The must be the center of attention forever!
Oh SHUT UP, OP didn’t take attention off the wedding couple, his toxic Dad did in the first place by PUTTING all the attention on OP’s love life, OP did nothing wrong and i’m really sorry he’s got such a toxic family but his sister sounds cool
I think the YTA poster didn’t listen to the part where OP was saying their family is very disapproving of same sex relationships. In a situation like that, I don’t blame OP for keeping it to themselves. It the dad was a really mean butt and started the whole debacle. OP should dump them all except for Julia. She sounds like a wonderful sister.
No,no, the victim always has to think about FaMiLy, but the bullies don’t, in a few years we will see a post with “ my sister wants to live with me because she is homeless”. Lol.
@@AuskaDezjArdamaath pretty sure that commenter decided OP was the bad guy here either because of being a insulting jackass on the regular themselves, a bigot, a bridezilla, or some combination.
Last story: "His friends saw what grandma did and made fun of him. Even his coach told him to tell his grandma the next time she comes, she better sit on the right side." Grandma embarrassed her grandson! What she did in no way supported her grandson. Her intent may have been to hurt her DIL, but she hurt her grandson more - in front of his coach and teammates! That is inexcusable! OP is NTA! If grandma is going to pull stunts like this, it's best that she stay away! The dad, of all people, should know better! How could he take his mother's side against his wife's - and subsequently against his son??? He has to know how wrong what his mother did was and how it would affect his son! If he doesn't, he is a complete AH!
Yeah, and replying to a couple of comments from that story: "How could they notice her while focusing on the game?" The son said friends, not necessarily all of which are teammates. "You can't ban MIL unless you have some way to keep her off school property." No, but the coach can. If he noticed too and told the kid his grandma better sit on the correct side next time, and finds out it was maliciousness instead of confusion, you bet your buns she gets banned. The kid's dad is clearly a moron and doesn't support his son over his mommy.
Yeah I agree with you completely it was a clear opie's not the asshole but you could clearly tell that people here don't understand What it means to sit on the other side.
@@obsidianofblades I hate it when people say oh that's should be the last option fucking no if they hurt my kid that's the 1st option. And I will raise hellfire to make sure they never see my kids again
Story 1 Nta: If it was just the parents it would have been bad but the minute the bride (sister) said something she lost the right to have the attention on her.
@@natekendall1976 if she didn't want him to snap like that they shouldn't have been baiting him. Like the one commenter said,the bride could have shut it down before that happened.
@@ginabell694 how about, instead of wanting to stand out and make a scene, like they seem to enjoy doing, he could have left. They have ribbed him about it for a while and he chooses to snap at his sisters wedding. I don't think he is single through choice....he sounds like a dhead
@@natekendall1976 I don't know where u got that he enjoyed being berated by his homophobic family til he couldn't take it anymore. He even tried to keep it together. The other sister wanted to say something about it before he did. If my family were to continually make comments like that to me yeah I'm gonna blow up at them. Those people sound insufferable.
Nice to see you in a last story that you guys support narcissistic behavior, calling Op The bad guy one where is your mother-in-law is literally acting like the unreasonable one. The problem is clearly with a mother-in-law and you’re so focused on OP and her behavior, what the hell is wrong with these Redditors. Oh I forgot, they are the same people who say that someone controlling when Op gets mad for understandable reasons, like literally nearly burning down the house or support domestic abuse.
I went to the post there are a lot of nta but too many esh. The top is an info post. It's an idiot though being like why are people not paying attention to the game. This channel seems to pick yta when reddit actually says different.
The only thing OP did wrong was the way she aproached MIL after the game. She shouldn't have talked about her feelings but her sons feelings: "So beause you have a dispute with me, you go and hurt you "beloved" grandson? What does it do to me if you sit on "our" side, the opponents side or naked in the middle of the field - all you did acomplish is that you grandson will remember, that his grandmother doesn't support him, but his opponents." If the MIL still doesn't get it, maybe the husband can explain to her how the sitting arrangements for "home" and "guest" supporters work....
Final Story: NTA. First off, the size of the crowd means a lot in sports. The fact that she sat on the opposing teams side was an insult. Secondly her reasoning of “I’m mad at you and I don’t want to sit near you” is BS. The benches are plenty big on both sides, she could have been mad and supported her Grandsons team.
Yeah. Grandma said she was sitting there to piss off OP, but to support her grandson. She could have sit somewhere else in the grandson’s team side if she was there to support the kid. These benches are usually across the playing field from each other. There might have even been a bench space on the same side that was even further away then the spot she took opposite OP.
@@MildredCady that old biddy knew exactly what she was doing and she WAS NOT supporting her grandson. If she was she would been on the opposite side of her grandson's side away from mom. From the action she took, I don't think she likes the kid much either.
She was trying to prove a point that she hates OP but by proving that point she outed herself to her grandson that she cares more about hating his mother than supporting him and everyone knew it... Word will spread and when those bombs drop OP and the kid will be unscathed
Family, including the bride: /gives snide comments to OP, knowing how hurtful they are and thinking OP won't retaliate due to social convention because it's bad to cause a scene at somebody else's wedding/ OP: /just admits he's gay to get his family off his back/ Family: OMG YOU RUINED THE WEDDING BY USING IT TO COME OUT!
Story 1.. OP’s was pushed into making the reveal.. if Michelle is mad, she should be mad at her father and OP didn’t choose to come out, he was basically bullied into it! Story 2...Op pays rent, she has a right to privacy and to lock the door.. she should see if she can move out..maybe find a room mate..
Michelle joined in on the needling in Story 1, so *if* OP's reaction "ruined" her wedding, then she has ONLY HERSELF to blame for not only not stopping it, but actively ENCOURAGING the needling.
@@helar2574 He's a little vague as to whether or not his mother has also walked in on him naked... And you do realize dad could have the hots for his SON, right?
Grandma story: NTA MIL sounds like the type of woman who would use the kids to get back at her ex, MIL become the instant idiot when she started using the kid to get back at OP. The husband should be more concerned with how his mom is treating his son than calling his wife controling for getting tired of grandmother's bs.
Story 2: It' only me, or someone else thinking, that father is kinda pervert? if he go into YOUNG children bathroom without knocking, it's not even privacy thing anymore
Last Story: OP’s NTA. Everyone is forgetting the grandson. OP might have a grudge with MIL but the grandson is pissed at his Grandmother because she embarrassed him by sitting with the opposition. If the MIL has a problem with OP, there is a whole side to choose from where she does not have to stand next to her. The MIL was making a statement to OP and didn’t care her grandson got caught in the middle and neither did daddy! OP had hers son’s back and I;m amazed most can’t see that!
I have no idea how anyone could say that OP was the a hole there. I suspect its because she is a mother, people expect ridiculous things out of mothers. Theyre damned if they do and damned if they dont. If she hadn't confronted MIL about it they would be bitching about how she didnt do or say anything....
Right?! Why tf did she need to sit with the opposition couldn't grandma just...Not sit next to OP?! Husband siding with his mother here is a huge problem.
I can understand GM making a stink about showing up then sitting as far away from OP as possible on the same side, it's shitty but at least it's still supportive and not something to get around outside the family. What she did was force public conversation from strangers about the family disfunction. I can't say OP is ultimately right but I can say grandma is wrong and even that she doesn't give a damn about her grandson if it means winning an argument.
Story 2: NTA. My petty Butt would just start walking around buck naked. See how long “No privacy” sticks then. Furthermore aren’t you paying for your room?
Story 3: NTA. Kick him out. I get he just trying to help his Brother, I don’t care. You have children to take care of, he can be acting like this. Kick his butt out and to come back when he’s ready to put his Wife and children first otherwise tell her where to send the divorce papers.
He said you are getting a big tax return! She Should have said Ya & I just Took A Pay Cut! Taxes will help out for a while but his brother isn't going to Pay Back the money He Takes! Takes not Barros‼️😠
Agree!! Also I'd question if he left his job as accountant more so because he's an idiot than for the kids as OP got laid off so they have NO money coming in but his brother deserves $400 worth of gifts cause he's bored???..... Yeah dont trust his "budgeting skills" or give the brother another penny!!
11:55 "My mom and dad surprisingly sided with her and they don't usually do that." Is that... is that because you're the spoiled golden child who's used to getting her way with her parents? I think that might be it.
Last story: I seriously do not understand all of the YTAs??? MIL was the one who escalated and decided to hurt her own grandson just to get back at Op. She knew what she was doing. If she was 'so upset' she could've just sat in different seats while being in the correct side. Yeah, as a kid, it's gonna hurt when your grandparent couldn't act like an adult for this one short event for you. Op is NTA and the MIL is childish. I can see why they don't get along and it's not Op's fault.
@@black1917 nah dude wtf they just banned all actual lesbian spaces on reddit. Wtf are you even talking about? Pfffft reddit as a collective hates women.
First story: The one who said OP was TA had such a bad take. Obviously if his family is making comments like this, why would he feel comfortable about coming out to them before this? I knew I was aro-ace at 23. It took me 11 years to come out to my mom because the first time I ever thought to broach the topic with her she sounded so disgusted by the very concept of asexuality that I never brought it up again. The people you love the most have the greatest ability to hurt you with their rejection, and you have no right to shame someone for staying closeted if that is better for their mental/physical well-being. Also, his dad called him out and embarrassed him in front of all those people. And the rest of the family kept pressing even though they KNEW he was uncomfortable with it. OP snapping back was a complete natural reaction. If they weren't ready for it, then they should have left him alone.
The family was verbally abusive to OP at the wedding, and it was totally okay to stand up to the abuse by shutting it down. I dont think abusers deserve perfect weddings. Call it instant karma, if you like.
Unless the grandma is horribly losing her vision or becoming more senile, she's in the wrong. Why on earth would you sit on your grandson's opposing team side? And the son isn't dumb. I'm pretty sure the reason why he's not talking to anybody is because he realizes how much this stuff happens and it centers around him and gets started by his grandma. Man, redditors are dumb sometimes
Last story: she absolutely does have the right to decide who shows up at the school for her kid. She can ask the school to escort MIL out whenever she tries.
At 15 I played JV football and hardly anybody showed up to watch other than family (there no bleachers they either stood or brought their own chairs.). So identifying grandma on the opposing side is very easy and a slap in the face of the kid and his team. The coach can ban grandma for disrupting team cohesion and morale. Dad is wrong defending his mother for sitting on the wrong side and the old biddy knew exactly what she was doing.
I agree the father said her going to the son's games was a way of bonding?? How much bonding is going on when she sits in the opposing bleachers?? Your husband is an idiot, the grandson should tell his friends and coach ,well my grandma is a big baby and when she's mad at my mom she takes it out on me , how's that for " bonding" ??
You are paying rent. This means you have a legal right to privacy and to be able to secure the space you pay rent on. You either need to move on that violation or find somewhere else to crash for the time being. Either way, you need to cut contact with your parents.
just press sexual harassment charges. Or ask the neighbors if you can move in since your dad is a pervert and gets off seeing you naked. Preferably ask all the neighbors to see which has the best solution. Then you either have a place to move out, or at the very least, a very ostracized dad.
Final story The heck is up with those comments? The OP is NTA Grandma SHOULD be banned if she's going to pull crap like that. The husband is also the AH for sticking up for his mother.
The story where the dad keeps barging in I have a weird feeling about The sister says he's done it to her too I think he either gets off on seeing his kids naked or gets off the power he feels when making his kids feel shame with him seeing them naked. It's like he rushes into their room everyday after work for his 'Fix'
Or he is like my dad who thinks doors are inconvinient and in the way. My dad is a workaholic and if he wants to do something he wants it now and he always barges into all rooms searching for me no matter if i am in my room, the kitchen coooking, the shower, the toilet. Does not matter. He gets annoyed if i do someting i cant drop right then and there and help him right now. He gets annoyed if i wear no bra and house shoes because i cant help him in garden because i need to change first. Pc Games you cant pause are especially bad because he cant wait the 5 seconds it takes me to find the next safe point. One time a female friend showered at my place and he tought it would be no problem to go in because he had seen me naked and she is the same gender. His parents also have no lock on the only toilet which makes family gatherings really arkward and i hate to go to the toilet there because occupied signs and my bag in front of the door get ignored by some family members, especially grandpa who once started peeing standig up right next to my while i washed hands. Thank god i moved out recently. So much better. So peaceful. No constant interruptions because he needs someone to hold something or assist otherwise.
@@kitarrah1422 she was really creeped Out by my dad and avoided him. I know he did not want to perv on her but its very embarassing for him to act this way towards her or anyone really
That last story was annoying. Pretty obvious grandma was using the game as an opportunity to be petty not support her grandson. If that were true she would have been on the right side. She didn't have to interact with OP, didn't even have to acknowledge her existence. But if she was there for her grandson, she should have shown that.
First story: NTA, they literally kept pushing OP to their breaking point. Also funny how belittling OP in a speech isn't a big deal to bridezilla, but OP supposedly destroyed her wedding day.
Our wedding we couldn't care less what people wore or how they looked, we just wanted family and friends to share our day. Got some fantastic pics lol. We also payed for all the bridesmaid outfits and bought gifts for them and groomsmen as thanks for their help.
For my wedding, I told my bridesmaids I wanted sapphire blue, and let them go from there. Everything else was up to them. They were different body types and styles, including a gender fluid person. I wanted them to have dresses they liked and felt most comfortable wearing. They looked great!
3:54 NTA!! Paying rent but still no privacy even though OP is an adult and his dad removes his bedroom door? I would have removed ALL the interior doors!
Brother needing boardgames: A trip to the budget toy store and then the post office would have been cheaper. Don't marry this man until this is sorted.
Story 1: NTA. It sounds like the focus was already off of the bride and groom with how much attention they brought to OP by putting so much energy into asking about OP's love life and making bullying statements. They are lucky OP didn't tell them that if they sent for the bridesmaid he would not be able to control himself and would have to propose to her on the spot and then follow through.
The Bridezilla was asking her sister to change herself, not just for ONE day, but for some length of time.....for the stagette and other celebratory festivities. She was even making all the people in her bridal party stick to certain aesthetics, for all of these events.
"People make sacrifices for weddings" sure when they're reasonable like childfree or please where a particular colour theme and do you know what the ppl that DONT want to make that "sacrifice" do.. they opt out of of attending all together or like OP's sister being involved in anything official!! AH's like OP should hire fricking actors instead of putting their poor family/friends through EXPENSIVE (as THEY have to pay) BS changing everything about themselve so the AH can have their "perfect day" or photos or whatever else nonsense reasons they give. I'd just refuse to attend as can't be arsed with BS drama and go lc with sister and stb-husband as they BOTH sound like AH's
Story 4: YTA. If it was just the piercing’s I could agree, But you are trying to justify POUNDS of makeup to put on her arms and dying her hair? She likely had to bleach the crap out of it just to get the pink color and you want her to undo it?
Right as long as the piercings can be safely taken out and put back in. I would like to ask the bride if when the other sister gets married would she color her hair green, get her make-up and hair styled how her sister wants it and PAY for it? Plus pay for a dress that she probably doesn't like or will ever wear. The Bride is ridiculous and her fiance is extremely naive or just agreeing with bride so she isn't a B to him. The bride is basically saying I want my sister to be my bridesmaid but I don't really want people to know the real sister.
Also, notice how she said her parents usually side with her and shes so surprised her parents are with her sister? What an entitled brat. That groom is going to have a hell of a time when that behaviour starts getting directed at him.
With the second story you're not in the long hair however you basically need to move out immediately because your father is not going to have it your sister and mother have pretty much basically let him be who he is. And to be honest they've just caved. You even need to move out or you need to be prepared to just have a nervous breakdown. You're not in the wrong here but this is only going to get worse this time progresses and you need to either have a serious family meeting about this or be prepared to move out and go low contact with your father for a while
OP didn't come out at his sister's wedding. He was pushed out by constant ridicule until he couldn't take it anymore and he snapped. If anyone "ruined the wedding", it was OP's father who couldn't keep his big mouth shut.
Story 1 - he was set up. They goaded him till he snapped so they could yell and blame him and probably disown him too. NTA and he should go no contact with everyone except the nice sister.
9:09 hubby needs therapy himself (even if his brother refuses it). He also needs to learn the difference between NEEDS and WANTS! I feel bad from the brother (who really does need therapy) but he is manipulating OP’s husband.
Wedding tattoo story: reasonable wedding requests are "don't wear white" and "bridesmaids have their hair in updoes if they have long hair" or maybe "have your nails painted a certain way". Asking someone to change their hair colour, etc. is completely ludicrous. If she didn't want her sisters tattoos on display she could have made all the bridesmaids where similar but different dresses, but give her tattooed sister one with longer sleeves. And about the makeup: covering up tattoos requires either a lot of make up or special makeup ment to go over tattoos, which isn't cheap and also wearing heavy duty makeup is super uncomfortable.
I like that idea but would add a stipulation that OP doesn't actually burn the doors so the dad doesn't try to make OP pay for new doors. Instead, hide the doors and get some similar looking wood, break it up and throw it on the bonfire so they think you have burnt the doors.
Story 1 that YTA is BS!! "You had years to come out and could have come out at any time and you chose your sisters wedding"??? Sorry but NO!! 1. OP doesn't owe the family any explanation about his personal life and given how the AH's behave I don't blame him for not telling them. 2. Don't tell a victim of bullying NOT "teasing" to just "brush it off as it's nothing new"?? Like what it's OK to be harassed/bullied so long as the bride gets her perfect day 3 and lastly how exactly was OP supposed to respond after to these AH's repeatedly trying to set him up and prying into his life when they won't drop the "why haven't you brought a nice girl home" BS and were about to drag a bridesmaid into their BS to humiliate OP??..... Oh no that's right OP was supposed to just "suck it up".... I'm glad OP has one family member on his side, the rest of the AH's I'd tell to go screw themselves and go NC!! NTA but please ditch these toxic AH's
1st OP didn't "choose" to come out at the wedding. Constant harassment is what lead to him dropping the one fact about himself that would stop the bs. That YTA was annoying.
The wedding was already ruined when the family made the event into a bully fest. Since the wedding party did not stop what was happening, it was more their fault than OP's.
So daddy is walking randomly into rooms of the older sister? And the son has to learn to live with it? I'd never return home if it was happening, infact they never saw me again...
The story about the parents not giving any privacy was my childhood. 🙃 at the very least though, I think they would recognize my rights if I was paying rent there. To even suggest sole ownership when you are letting someone else pay for 1/3 is delusional. OP should stop paying bills immediately and until the door is returned. And of course gtfo of there.
The Yta comment in the first post I don’t think that he understood that Op had not told the family he was gay because he knew that most of the family would disapprove of that orientation
1. Op's Father and Mother was the AH's. 2. Move immediately and stop paying rent. Dad's the AH. 3. Separate your finances. Make the Brothers take care of their own finances. Talk to a Lawyer about future Divorce. Husband and his Brother are the AH's
No lock: you should show him what no privacy is like. Take all the inside doors including the bedrooms and bathrooms while everyone is out. If mom and sis have a problem, remind them you ALSO pay the bills and it must not be that bad if it was ok for him to do it to you. I also would move out ASAP. That way you are not endangering them but still making a point.
I hate story one these type of people don't ever care who their child is with as long as it's the opposite gender doesn't matter if their abusive, controlling, a cheater
The first “yta” commenter is ridiculous. “Took attention off the couple”? It wasn’t on them. The attention was on op very much against his wishes. Besides what wedding do you literally focus 100% on the married couple for like 6 hours?
The comments on the final story really shows that most of Reddit doesn't understand how sports culture works. If your son/grandson is playing for Team Blue, you absolutely *do not* sit on the Team Red side. The side you sit on declares which team you support, and sitting on the opposing team is a massive insult. I don't like sports, and even I know that you don't sit on the opposite team's side.
Story 2: NTA. My dad did the door thing too! One day I just came home from school and he’d removed my door handle so I just had a hole in the door and no way to close it. I asked him why as I hadn’t gotten into any trouble recently, and he told me that he was the “king of this house” and had decided to take back the privacy he’d offered me my whole life so I didn’t “get any ideas” now that I was in high school. Op is as much the idiot as I was in that situation.
My dad did the same thing when I was 17 because I got a D, even though my bedroom was right next to my 15 year old brother's room, and he also invited over his buddies all the time. I also shared a jack and jill bathroom with my brother, and because of a mistake in building the house, the only door to the bathroom that could lock was the one attached to my bedroom, and my brother would always forget to unlock it when he was done for the entire 15 years we lived there together
Story 1: I find it funny that OP’s sister thinks he ruined her wedding and not her parents. He should have loudly added “you will get a son in law with me, he is waiting for me to get home and propose after this wedding. I will video it and put it in the family group chat and on all social media platforms and tag you all to it!”
To too blessed....Shame on you for trying to hurt the parents more and for using the name too blessed when you don’t follow what the Bible teaches about homosexuality.
@@sandyo1063 if you “follow the Bible” then you know not to judge... HYPOCRITE! F*ck off with your BS. I love all as I want to be loved and I sin like ALL PEOPLE do! My sins are no less than someone who is gay. Sick of man written Bible thumping “christians” who weaponize the Bible to fit the bull$h*t that spews from their mouths. Go repent! God makes no mistakes. When you prove that God said what was written, then come back to look down on me for loving all as equals.
Last story: totally out of the box idea here: let the grandson decide whether he wants grandma to rock up at any future games and everyone gets therapy, especially the adults.
If you don't want a bridesmaid with tattoo's...don't ask a woman with tattoo's to be a bridesmaid. Tattoo's are permanent, it is literally her skin. NO ONE is going to alter their skin tone just to fit your wedding aesthetic.
@@owenfautley And her sister told her no. So obviously, she needs to skip the wedding altogether, as she cannot and will not 'conform' to a formal attire for this event.
Story 4: NTA you have two choices, either suck it up and have her in the wedding or remove her from the bridal party. Last story: NTA players and coach know family members if she goes to games.
Ok so what brought my YTA for the controlling bridezilla is when she was upset that mommy and daddy didn’t side with her. So she’s used to getting her way and for once her parents realized the monster they created and now want to put their foot down. I guess better late than never but she is definitely going to try a few more stunts.
I agree with the theory that the family at least suspected Op was gay in the first one judging from their comments. To add to it, they might have tried to confirm the suspicions with the questioning and just didn't think of him actually coming out
The OP in the last story did absolutely nothing wrong. I would never allow another family members disagreements with how I parent be taken out on my child. Ever. Scorched Earth. No prisoners
The one to call story 1 OP the AH...why should OP keep accepting it, especially when they are trying to tear him down in front of his family? I didn't know that weddings needed a sacrificial lamb to legitimize the couple.
Story 2: Stop paying rent. It’s his house, not yours. Do exactly whatever your chores were when you were a kid as your household contribution. If he starts acting up about you not paying, tell him you won’t unless you get a rental contract-it’s his house, after all. You don’t want to overstep again, so you should get all the terms in writing.
Story 2. OP, if you are brave, walk around naked as you don't have privacy and your parents often are walking on you, it shouldn't make much difference to them. I am sure your father wouldn't like it and maybe then you can reset the boundaries. Sorry, I am petty and an AH.
For the privacy story, I would walk around the house stark naked until I got the door back. “What? Oh, I thought there was no need for privacy? Why should I hide anything?”
Story of the brother.. If Chris gets a check on Friday, he can wait until then he and buy the stuff himself! Story of bridesmaid... Op knew her sister was tattooed, pierced, and dyed.. she didn’t have to ask her if she wanted her to look “ normal”.
Story 4: It sounds like you only like the idea of you sister in the wedding but you don’t actually want her in it. I hate it when people say stuff like “If you loved me you would compromise. It’s not that big a deal”. You are literally asking her to get rid of all the unique things that make her her. 10 years down the road you won’t even remember anything about you sisters hair and tattoos on your wedding day. Just focus on the actual important thing: getting married
Agree!! She doesn't actually want her sister in the wedding she wants the imaginary BS version she has in her head and calls sister "a spoile brat" for not agreeing to her BS. Stories like these make me think why don't these AH's just hire actors then?? Pay them enough and they fit the description of your "perfect wedding".... I know it's money and them expecting their loved ones to put up with their crap. If I were the sister I just wouldn't attend and take myself of the whole drama!! Even if she goes as a guest and dress accordingly for a wedding but tats and peircings still showing you'll have to listen to years of BS from OP about how you "ruined her photos"
Yeah if u loved me u would compromise, well if u love your sister u would accept her as she is. It's not a rule that your sisters have to be in your bridal party, so either u shouldn't have asked her or u should accept who she is and not have these ridiculous rules for her.
I'm confused at how people are thinking it op that wants the sister there. It sounds more like the parents to show a "family" unit. Most parents that show favoritism are the one to hide that they favor one kid. The fact op said that the parents side with her more tells you how it may show favoritism if the sister didn't show up
Story 1, NTA they all made comments about him. That woman had the gale to say he ruined her wedding when she just said the offensive saying "wired the wrong way".
Story 3: OP could have told the partner to tell the mooching BIL to go to his local public library if he's board. Some have games you can check out and lots of other neat stuff, and it's all FREE!
Take the door off the parent’s bedroom and put it on his door. Dad is TA and a bully. NTA! YTA! If OP doesn’t want her sister as a bridesmaid she should not have asked her. Why doesn’t OP want her to drop out? Let her drop out and find someone who can conform to her aesthetic.
It's probably more the parents that want the look of a "family" unit to hide that they favor the op more. She probably hiding that their paying the wedding so them siding with the sister is telling that they want the sister not op.
2nd story; How can the home belong to OP's father if OP is paying 1/3 of the rent? Rent,= rental property. OP should move out. If you are paying an equal portion to live somewhere, the you do not get treated like a 2nd class citizen.
I don't understand this toxic mindset of people thinking no one in a house deserves privacy. Start walking in on your parents every time they try to get it in & see how quickly he gets on board with the privacy. Even in 50s this mentality wouldn't have flown.
Bridezilla story: simple solution- if the sister told OP that she had to die her hair, wear at least temporary tattoos, and get a bunch of piercings, and wear an a outfit she’d consider awful, would she? Considering the way she’s acted, and her comments about the parents usually siding with her, she’s a spoiled brat, bear golden child, and will be lucky if her sister attends at all
Story 2-He has a freaking sister?! Does his creepy parent walk in on her or is it reserved for his male child? This is unacceptable. Total disrespect of body and space and-again-uber creepy.
Story 2: If you pay rent, you have rights as a tenant, and that includes privacy. I would sue him for harassment and for violating tenant rights. I’d report him to the state/provincial housing authorities. That family is toxic and abusive. Withhold all future rent and sue for your paid rent money back.
For the dad who keeps coming into the room. Ask out loud in front of others why he feels the need to walk in on you naked all the time. Tell him you find it a little unnerving because you feel he is perving off of you. See how fast his behaviour changes after that convo.
I Think OP should have a couple drinks of "liquid courage" if he can't do it without, then walk around the house bare naked for a while include a meal or two. When someone knocks on the door (or pretend) say "I'll Get It!" Either dad will take the "Hint" or if he doesn't, then tell him you'll not be paying Rent because people who do Can Expect a level of privacy that you Don't Receive!
The girls on their dad's side may find themselves without doors, themselves. Dad is a control freak and a perv.
Alternatively, press sexual harassment on dad. If he goes ballistic, tell him he can shut it down and respect your privacy, or expect it to be leaked to neighbors, collegues etc that he gets off looking at his naked daughter and daughter filed sexual harassment.
@@cptfwiffo Op is a man he has a sister.
@@arleneclark6369 and every priest in the Catholic Church is a man, but they mainly abused boys. Whatvis your point? There is nothing stopping a pervert father from focusing on his son.
Story 1: NTA. Look, it IS a taboo to come out at someone’s wedding. But they 100% egged you on. And frankly speaking it’s shouldn’t be acceptable to push people on others be you think they should just conform to your wants already.
Agreed, his parents goaded poor OP until he finally hit his breaking point, he should definitely go low contact with his family for sometime with the exception of Julia. Much kudos to her for being in her brother's corner! :D OP's dad is especially gross with his backwards, outdated standards of masculinity with that "Sissypants" dig.
@@WyntheRogue same with who ever said "if you're wired wrong." is also a gross person.
And that one commenter saying OP is the AH for "chosing to come out on her wedding day" is so dead wrong and misunderstood the whole story. 😑
So tact isn't a thing anymore if you're gay?
First story the OP did not "choose" to come out there. They were tired of being poked at and insulted and exploded. The fact that him coming out to defend himself "ruined her wedding" but her parent insulting family members didn't is such an awful thing.
Last story the MIL literally sat on the team's bleachers that opposed her grandson to get at the OP. She was willing to hurt her grandson for the sake of a petty fight. I'd say OP is in the right to say she isn't allowed at any more if she is going to hurt the child to hurt OP. What a horrid person
Nah he want to be prima donna! From all reaction - say hes sick or something! But he want to ruin wedding. Maybe OP is in love whit the groom?
@@ivayloivanov7231 there is no indication in the story to show that OP is in love with his new BIL. Where did you pull that out of? OPs family was asking for that reaction they poked at him until he blew up. He deserves better and the bride was asking for her wedding to be ruined. I would of told my parents to cut it out.
@@CelesteMinerva Im 40 old male and my family never ending harass me to find a wife and have kids! I dont care! Im not gonna ruin some one life for it! Only snowflake woke ppl. are like that! The must be the center of attention forever!
Oh SHUT UP, OP didn’t take attention off the wedding couple, his toxic Dad did in the first place by PUTTING all the attention on OP’s love life, OP did nothing wrong and i’m really sorry he’s got such a toxic family but his sister sounds cool
I think the YTA poster didn’t listen to the part where OP was saying their family is very disapproving of same sex relationships. In a situation like that, I don’t blame OP for keeping it to themselves. It the dad was a really mean butt and started the whole debacle. OP should dump them all except for Julia. She sounds like a wonderful sister.
No,no, the victim always has to think about FaMiLy, but the bullies don’t, in a few years we will see a post with “ my sister wants to live with me because she is homeless”. Lol.
@@AuskaDezjArdamaath pretty sure that commenter decided OP was the bad guy here either because of being a insulting jackass on the regular themselves, a bigot, a bridezilla, or some combination.
the bride seemed totally ok with it when they got to bully OP 🙃 but ohh noo OP doing anything about it suddenly gets the waterworks out
Last story: "His friends saw what grandma did and made fun of him. Even his coach told him to tell his grandma the next time she comes, she better sit on the right side." Grandma embarrassed her grandson! What she did in no way supported her grandson. Her intent may have been to hurt her DIL, but she hurt her grandson more - in front of his coach and teammates! That is inexcusable! OP is NTA! If grandma is going to pull stunts like this, it's best that she stay away! The dad, of all people, should know better! How could he take his mother's side against his wife's - and subsequently against his son??? He has to know how wrong what his mother did was and how it would affect his son! If he doesn't, he is a complete AH!
Well yes, clearly this grandma hates her DIL more than she loves her grandson. And it shows.
Yeah, and replying to a couple of comments from that story: "How could they notice her while focusing on the game?"
The son said friends, not necessarily all of which are teammates.
"You can't ban MIL unless you have some way to keep her off school property."
No, but the coach can. If he noticed too and told the kid his grandma better sit on the correct side next time, and finds out it was maliciousness instead of confusion, you bet your buns she gets banned.
The kid's dad is clearly a moron and doesn't support his son over his mommy.
Yeah I agree with you completely it was a clear opie's not the asshole but you could clearly tell that people here don't understand What it means to sit on the other side.
@@obsidianofblades I hate it when people say oh that's should be the last option fucking no if they hurt my kid that's the 1st option. And I will raise hellfire to make sure they never see my kids again
You really love that !!!!!! button, huh?
Story 1 Nta: If it was just the parents it would have been bad but the minute the bride (sister) said something she lost the right to have the attention on her.
so sister teases her brother and deserves her wedding ruined.
This is why people are sick of this bulls*it
@@natekendall1976 if she didn't want him to snap like that they shouldn't have been baiting him. Like the one commenter said,the bride could have shut it down before that happened.
@@ginabell694 how about, instead of wanting to stand out and make a scene, like they seem to enjoy doing, he could have left.
They have ribbed him about it for a while and he chooses to snap at his sisters wedding.
I don't think he is single through choice....he sounds like a dhead
@@natekendall1976 I don't know where u got that he enjoyed being berated by his homophobic family til he couldn't take it anymore. He even tried to keep it together. The other sister wanted to say something about it before he did. If my family were to continually make comments like that to me yeah I'm gonna blow up at them. Those people sound insufferable.
@@natekendall1976 Yes. Sister 'teases' her brother and deserves her wedding 'ruined'.
Nice to see you in a last story that you guys support narcissistic behavior, calling Op The bad guy one where is your mother-in-law is literally acting like the unreasonable one. The problem is clearly with a mother-in-law and you’re so focused on OP and her behavior, what the hell is wrong with these Redditors. Oh I forgot, they are the same people who say that someone controlling when Op gets mad for understandable reasons, like literally nearly burning down the house or support domestic abuse.
Thank you!
Reddit is a cesspool tbh. The worst of the worst are there. I still remember how long it took them to ban r/jailbait
I went to the post there are a lot of nta but too many esh. The top is an info post. It's an idiot though being like why are people not paying attention to the game. This channel seems to pick yta when reddit actually says different.
@@lexi6916 nah, he usually takes the story on the first few hours.
The only thing OP did wrong was the way she aproached MIL after the game. She shouldn't have talked about her feelings but her sons feelings: "So beause you have a dispute with me, you go and hurt you "beloved" grandson? What does it do to me if you sit on "our" side, the opponents side or naked in the middle of the field - all you did acomplish is that you grandson will remember, that his grandmother doesn't support him, but his opponents."
If the MIL still doesn't get it, maybe the husband can explain to her how the sitting arrangements for "home" and "guest" supporters work....
Final Story: NTA. First off, the size of the crowd means a lot in sports. The fact that she sat on the opposing teams side was an insult. Secondly her reasoning of “I’m mad at you and I don’t want to sit near you” is BS. The benches are plenty big on both sides, she could have been mad and supported her Grandsons team.
Yeah. Grandma said she was sitting there to piss off OP, but to support her grandson. She could have sit somewhere else in the grandson’s team side if she was there to support the kid. These benches are usually across the playing field from each other. There might have even been a bench space on the same side that was even further away then the spot she took opposite OP.
@@MildredCady that old biddy knew exactly what she was doing and she WAS NOT supporting her grandson. If she was she would been on the opposite side of her grandson's side away from mom. From the action she took, I don't think she likes the kid much either.
Those idiots calling OP the AH probably never played sports or have children who play sports.
She was trying to prove a point that she hates OP but by proving that point she outed herself to her grandson that she cares more about hating his mother than supporting him and everyone knew it... Word will spread and when those bombs drop OP and the kid will be unscathed
Exactly what I was going to say, the crowds are tiny and, if granny shows up at all games, people would notice her
Family, including the bride: /gives snide comments to OP, knowing how hurtful they are and thinking OP won't retaliate due to social convention because it's bad to cause a scene at somebody else's wedding/
OP: /just admits he's gay to get his family off his back/
Family: OMG YOU RUINED THE WEDDING BY USING IT TO COME OUT!
Bride offered to "set him up" with one of the bridesmaids.
I think she was the one who ruined the wedding.
Story 1.. OP’s was pushed into making the reveal.. if Michelle is mad, she should be mad at her father and OP didn’t choose to come out, he was basically bullied into it!
Story 2...Op pays rent, she has a right to privacy and to lock the door.. she should see if she can move out..maybe find a room mate..
Thankfully OP is man in story 2, otherwise story would go to some incest way
Michelle joined in on the needling in Story 1, so *if* OP's reaction "ruined" her wedding, then she has ONLY HERSELF to blame for not only not stopping it, but actively ENCOURAGING the needling.
@@helar2574 Sadly, it still could despite OP's gender.
@@helar2574 He's a little vague as to whether or not his mother has also walked in on him naked... And you do realize dad could have the hots for his SON, right?
@@helar2574OP has a sister, and I'll bet she has it happen to her, too.
Grandma story: NTA MIL sounds like the type of woman who would use the kids to get back at her ex, MIL become the instant idiot when she started using the kid to get back at OP. The husband should be more concerned with how his mom is treating his son than calling his wife controling for getting tired of grandmother's bs.
Right?? She was USING the child, hurting the child to hurt the childs mom, who the fuck does that?? Fucking psychos thats who
Story 2: It' only me, or someone else thinking, that father is kinda pervert? if he go into YOUNG children bathroom without knocking, it's not even privacy thing anymore
Yup, controlling and perverted.
They're not young anymore. Which makes it even weirder.
Last Story: OP’s NTA. Everyone is forgetting the grandson. OP might have a grudge with MIL but the grandson is pissed at his Grandmother because she embarrassed him by sitting with the opposition. If the MIL has a problem with OP, there is a whole side to choose from where she does not have to stand next to her. The MIL was making a statement to OP and didn’t care her grandson got caught in the middle and neither did daddy! OP had hers son’s back and I;m amazed most can’t see that!
I have no idea how anyone could say that OP was the a hole there. I suspect its because she is a mother, people expect ridiculous things out of mothers. Theyre damned if they do and damned if they dont. If she hadn't confronted MIL about it they would be bitching about how she didnt do or say anything....
Oh hay ya!!! preach it!
Right?! Why tf did she need to sit with the opposition couldn't grandma just...Not sit next to OP?!
Husband siding with his mother here is a huge problem.
ya was wondering if the comments read the same post mil went out of her way to hurt her grandchild to get back at op.
I can understand GM making a stink about showing up then sitting as far away from OP as possible on the same side, it's shitty but at least it's still supportive and not something to get around outside the family.
What she did was force public conversation from strangers about the family disfunction. I can't say OP is ultimately right but I can say grandma is wrong and even that she doesn't give a damn about her grandson if it means winning an argument.
Story 2: NTA. My petty Butt would just start walking around buck naked. See how long “No privacy” sticks then. Furthermore aren’t you paying for your room?
Story 3: NTA. Kick him out. I get he just trying to help his Brother, I don’t care. You have children to take care of, he can be acting like this. Kick his butt out and to come back when he’s ready to put his Wife and children first otherwise tell her where to send the divorce papers.
He said you are getting a big tax return! She Should have said Ya & I just Took A Pay Cut! Taxes will help out for a while but his brother isn't going to Pay Back the money He Takes! Takes not Barros‼️😠
Agree!! Also I'd question if he left his job as accountant more so because he's an idiot than for the kids as OP got laid off so they have NO money coming in but his brother deserves $400 worth of gifts cause he's bored???..... Yeah dont trust his "budgeting skills" or give the brother another penny!!
11:55 "My mom and dad surprisingly sided with her and they don't usually do that." Is that... is that because you're the spoiled golden child who's used to getting her way with her parents? I think that might be it.
OP is paying rent for his room and is entitled to privacy. I'd move out of that house as soon as possible.
Last story: I seriously do not understand all of the YTAs??? MIL was the one who escalated and decided to hurt her own grandson just to get back at Op. She knew what she was doing. If she was 'so upset' she could've just sat in different seats while being in the correct side. Yeah, as a kid, it's gonna hurt when your grandparent couldn't act like an adult for this one short event for you. Op is NTA and the MIL is childish. I can see why they don't get along and it's not Op's fault.
Because its a mom she is damned if she does and damned if she doesnt.
@@xElvirax Actually this one IS weird, Reddit is pretty consistent in their hate for MILs and their misandry towards fathers.
@@black1917 nah dude wtf they just banned all actual lesbian spaces on reddit. Wtf are you even talking about? Pfffft reddit as a collective hates women.
@@xElviraxCountless prior posts prove otherwise.
@@xElvirax Mothers are a protected species on reddit. They are almost always given the benefit of the doubt.
First story: The one who said OP was TA had such a bad take. Obviously if his family is making comments like this, why would he feel comfortable about coming out to them before this? I knew I was aro-ace at 23. It took me 11 years to come out to my mom because the first time I ever thought to broach the topic with her she sounded so disgusted by the very concept of asexuality that I never brought it up again. The people you love the most have the greatest ability to hurt you with their rejection, and you have no right to shame someone for staying closeted if that is better for their mental/physical well-being.
Also, his dad called him out and embarrassed him in front of all those people. And the rest of the family kept pressing even though they KNEW he was uncomfortable with it. OP snapping back was a complete natural reaction. If they weren't ready for it, then they should have left him alone.
Didn't you ever think that it might have been one of the AH family members who posted the YTA comment? I'd bet on the bratty bride
Duh he can leave you know? But noo he must show hate toward wedding...
@@ivayloivanov7231 They would have called him out for leaving too!
@@nancyomalley6286 So? Bride dint harass him! Why hurt her? Oh i forgot: All woke ppl. are like that! They all go full entitlement... ESH here.
@@ivayloivanov7231 In what way did he show hate towards the wedding?
The family was verbally abusive to OP at the wedding, and it was totally okay to stand up to the abuse by shutting it down. I dont think abusers deserve perfect weddings. Call it instant karma, if you like.
Unless the grandma is horribly losing her vision or becoming more senile, she's in the wrong. Why on earth would you sit on your grandson's opposing team side? And the son isn't dumb. I'm pretty sure the reason why he's not talking to anybody is because he realizes how much this stuff happens and it centers around him and gets started by his grandma. Man, redditors are dumb sometimes
Last story: she absolutely does have the right to decide who shows up at the school for her kid. She can ask the school to escort MIL out whenever she tries.
Especially since MIL is doing it to spite/hurt OP through her son.JustNoGrandma And husband should either take action against his mom, or get out.
At 15 I played JV football and hardly anybody showed up to watch other than family (there no bleachers they either stood or brought their own chairs.). So identifying grandma on the opposing side is very easy and a slap in the face of the kid and his team. The coach can ban grandma for disrupting team cohesion and morale. Dad is wrong defending his mother for sitting on the wrong side and the old biddy knew exactly what she was doing.
I agree the father said her going to the son's games was a way of bonding?? How much bonding is going on when she sits in the opposing bleachers?? Your husband is an idiot, the grandson should tell his friends and coach ,well my grandma is a big baby and when she's mad at my mom she takes it out on me , how's that for " bonding" ??
You are paying rent. This means you have a legal right to privacy and to be able to secure the space you pay rent on. You either need to move on that violation or find somewhere else to crash for the time being. Either way, you need to cut contact with your parents.
just press sexual harassment charges. Or ask the neighbors if you can move in since your dad is a pervert and gets off seeing you naked. Preferably ask all the neighbors to see which has the best solution. Then you either have a place to move out, or at the very least, a very ostracized dad.
Final story The heck is up with those comments? The OP is NTA Grandma SHOULD be banned if she's going to pull crap like that. The husband is also the AH for sticking up for his mother.
Right?? Because she is a mom she is damned if she does and damned if she doesnt. Nothing she could do or say or not would please them.
The story where the dad keeps barging in I have a weird feeling about
The sister says he's done it to her too
I think he either gets off on seeing his kids naked or gets off the power he feels when making his kids feel shame with him seeing them naked.
It's like he rushes into their room everyday after work for his 'Fix'
Or he is like my dad who thinks doors are inconvinient and in the way. My dad is a workaholic and if he wants to do something he wants it now and he always barges into all rooms searching for me no matter if i am in my room, the kitchen coooking, the shower, the toilet. Does not matter. He gets annoyed if i do someting i cant drop right then and there and help him right now. He gets annoyed if i wear no bra and house shoes because i cant help him in garden because i need to change first. Pc Games you cant pause are especially bad because he cant wait the 5 seconds it takes me to find the next safe point. One time a female friend showered at my place and he tought it would be no problem to go in because he had seen me naked and she is the same gender. His parents also have no lock on the only toilet which makes family gatherings really arkward and i hate to go to the toilet there because occupied signs and my bag in front of the door get ignored by some family members, especially grandpa who once started peeing standig up right next to my while i washed hands. Thank god i moved out recently. So much better. So peaceful. No constant interruptions because he needs someone to hold something or assist otherwise.
I was thinking that too once he said sister.
@@sabinemetzger3219Geez! That's awful! What was your friend's reaction?
@@kitarrah1422 she was really creeped Out by my dad and avoided him. I know he did not want to perv on her but its very embarassing for him to act this way towards her or anyone really
That last story was annoying. Pretty obvious grandma was using the game as an opportunity to be petty not support her grandson. If that were true she would have been on the right side. She didn't have to interact with OP, didn't even have to acknowledge her existence. But if she was there for her grandson, she should have shown that.
Jup. If she was that pissed off at DIL she need not sit in the same row as her but at least in the same section.
The person who calls OP the AH in story 1 is the true AH and sees nothing wrong with harassing people into snapping at them
This 100%
First story: NTA, they literally kept pushing OP to their breaking point.
Also funny how belittling OP in a speech isn't a big deal to bridezilla, but OP supposedly destroyed her wedding day.
OP should take the door of their parents room to see how he likes it then make his bedroom door locking from the outside.
Our wedding we couldn't care less what people wore or how they looked, we just wanted family and friends to share our day. Got some fantastic pics lol. We also payed for all the bridesmaid outfits and bought gifts for them and groomsmen as thanks for their help.
For my wedding, I told my bridesmaids I wanted sapphire blue, and let them go from there. Everything else was up to them. They were different body types and styles, including a gender fluid person. I wanted them to have dresses they liked and felt most comfortable wearing. They looked great!
I told my moh to wear whatever she wanted out of her own closet.
3:54 NTA!! Paying rent but still no privacy even though OP is an adult and his dad removes his bedroom door? I would have removed ALL the interior doors!
Brother needing boardgames: A trip to the budget toy store and then the post office would have been cheaper. Don't marry this man until this is sorted.
Story 1: NTA. It sounds like the focus was already off of the bride and groom with how much attention they brought to OP by putting so much energy into asking about OP's love life and making bullying statements. They are lucky OP didn't tell them that if they sent for the bridesmaid he would not be able to control himself and would have to propose to her on the spot and then follow through.
The Bridezilla was asking her sister to change herself, not just for ONE day, but for some length of time.....for the stagette and other celebratory festivities.
She was even making all the people in her bridal party stick to certain aesthetics, for all of these events.
"People make sacrifices for weddings" sure when they're reasonable like childfree or please where a particular colour theme and do you know what the ppl that DONT want to make that "sacrifice" do.. they opt out of of attending all together or like OP's sister being involved in anything official!!
AH's like OP should hire fricking actors instead of putting their poor family/friends through EXPENSIVE (as THEY have to pay) BS changing everything about themselve so the AH can have their "perfect day" or photos or whatever else nonsense reasons they give.
I'd just refuse to attend as can't be arsed with BS drama and go lc with sister and stb-husband as they BOTH sound like AH's
Story 4: YTA. If it was just the piercing’s I could agree, But you are trying to justify POUNDS of makeup to put on her arms and dying her hair? She likely had to bleach the crap out of it just to get the pink color and you want her to undo it?
Right as long as the piercings can be safely taken out and put back in. I would like to ask the bride if when the other sister gets married would she color her hair green, get her make-up and hair styled how her sister wants it and PAY for it? Plus pay for a dress that she probably doesn't like or will ever wear. The Bride is ridiculous and her fiance is extremely naive or just agreeing with bride so she isn't a B to him. The bride is basically saying I want my sister to be my bridesmaid but I don't really want people to know the real sister.
Also, notice how she said her parents usually side with her and shes so surprised her parents are with her sister? What an entitled brat. That groom is going to have a hell of a time when that behaviour starts getting directed at him.
Yup.
Story one. He didn't take the attention away from the bride, the father did!!!!!
With the second story you're not in the long hair however you basically need to move out immediately because your father is not going to have it your sister and mother have pretty much basically let him be who he is. And to be honest they've just caved. You even need to move out or you need to be prepared to just have a nervous breakdown. You're not in the wrong here but this is only going to get worse this time progresses and you need to either have a serious family meeting about this or be prepared to move out and go low contact with your father for a while
Story one fair play i love it trying to hook you up put you in the spot light and you did good by saying..no thanks im gay!!love itx
OP didn't come out at his sister's wedding. He was pushed out by constant ridicule until he couldn't take it anymore and he snapped. If anyone "ruined the wedding", it was OP's father who couldn't keep his big mouth shut.
Story 1 - he was set up. They goaded him till he snapped so they could yell and blame him and probably disown him too. NTA and he should go no contact with everyone except the nice sister.
9:09 hubby needs therapy himself (even if his brother refuses it). He also needs to learn the difference between NEEDS and WANTS! I feel bad from the brother (who really does need therapy) but he is manipulating OP’s husband.
Wedding tattoo story: reasonable wedding requests are "don't wear white" and "bridesmaids have their hair in updoes if they have long hair" or maybe "have your nails painted a certain way".
Asking someone to change their hair colour, etc. is completely ludicrous. If she didn't want her sisters tattoos on display she could have made all the bridesmaids where similar but different dresses, but give her tattooed sister one with longer sleeves.
And about the makeup: covering up tattoos requires either a lot of make up or special makeup ment to go over tattoos, which isn't cheap and also wearing heavy duty makeup is super uncomfortable.
OP With no privacy, when they are all out the house, remove every door and have a bonfire and then see how they like it!
I like that idea but would add a stipulation that OP doesn't actually burn the doors so the dad doesn't try to make OP pay for new doors. Instead, hide the doors and get some similar looking wood, break it up and throw it on the bonfire so they think you have burnt the doors.
Story 1: NTA, what did the family think was gonna happen when OP got fed up of there constant teasing?
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes
Story 1 that YTA is BS!! "You had years to come out and could have come out at any time and you chose your sisters wedding"??? Sorry but NO!!
1. OP doesn't owe the family any explanation about his personal life and given how the AH's behave I don't blame him for not telling them.
2. Don't tell a victim of bullying NOT "teasing" to just "brush it off as it's nothing new"?? Like what it's OK to be harassed/bullied so long as the bride gets her perfect day
3 and lastly how exactly was OP supposed to respond after to these AH's repeatedly trying to set him up and prying into his life when they won't drop the "why haven't you brought a nice girl home" BS and were about to drag a bridesmaid into their BS to humiliate OP??..... Oh no that's right OP was supposed to just "suck it up"....
I'm glad OP has one family member on his side, the rest of the AH's I'd tell to go screw themselves and go NC!! NTA but please ditch these toxic AH's
1st OP didn't "choose" to come out at the wedding. Constant harassment is what lead to him dropping the one fact about himself that would stop the bs. That YTA was annoying.
Especially when the bride was in on it.
The wedding was already ruined when the family made the event into a bully fest. Since the wedding party did not stop what was happening, it was more their fault than OP's.
So daddy is walking randomly into rooms of the older sister? And the son has to learn to live with it? I'd never return home if it was happening, infact they never saw me again...
The story about the parents not giving any privacy was my childhood. 🙃 at the very least though, I think they would recognize my rights if I was paying rent there. To even suggest sole ownership when you are letting someone else pay for 1/3 is delusional. OP should stop paying bills immediately and until the door is returned. And of course gtfo of there.
The Yta comment in the first post I don’t think that he understood that Op had not told the family he was gay because he knew that most of the family would disapprove of that orientation
1. Op's Father and Mother was the AH's.
2. Move immediately and stop paying rent. Dad's the AH.
3. Separate your finances. Make the Brothers take care of their own finances. Talk to a Lawyer about future Divorce. Husband and his Brother are the AH's
First story… HE DID ruin the wedding with his outrage!!! GOOD!!! They shouldn’t have bullied him into it.
Last story: How the freak are there so many comments saying op is ta? The grandma is a horrible narcissist and the husband is an enabler.
No lock: you should show him what no privacy is like. Take all the inside doors including the bedrooms and bathrooms while everyone is out. If mom and sis have a problem, remind them you ALSO pay the bills and it must not be that bad if it was ok for him to do it to you. I also would move out ASAP. That way you are not endangering them but still making a point.
Sister at wedding: YTA, Just don't have the sister there rather than treating her like a pariah.
I hate story one these type of people don't ever care who their child is with as long as it's the opposite gender doesn't matter if their abusive, controlling, a cheater
"Why didnt you come out sooner" says the straight cis person not being confronted by a hostile family.
The first “yta” commenter is ridiculous. “Took attention off the couple”? It wasn’t on them. The attention was on op very much against his wishes. Besides what wedding do you literally focus 100% on the married couple for like 6 hours?
The comments on the final story really shows that most of Reddit doesn't understand how sports culture works. If your son/grandson is playing for Team Blue, you absolutely *do not* sit on the Team Red side. The side you sit on declares which team you support, and sitting on the opposing team is a massive insult. I don't like sports, and even I know that you don't sit on the opposite team's side.
Story 2: NTA. My dad did the door thing too!
One day I just came home from school and he’d removed my door handle so I just had a hole in the door and no way to close it. I asked him why as I hadn’t gotten into any trouble recently, and he told me that he was the “king of this house” and had decided to take back the privacy he’d offered me my whole life so I didn’t “get any ideas” now that I was in high school.
Op is as much the idiot as I was in that situation.
I hope you realize that you were not an idiot at all.
My dad did the same thing when I was 17 because I got a D, even though my bedroom was right next to my 15 year old brother's room, and he also invited over his buddies all the time. I also shared a jack and jill bathroom with my brother, and because of a mistake in building the house, the only door to the bathroom that could lock was the one attached to my bedroom, and my brother would always forget to unlock it when he was done for the entire 15 years we lived there together
Story 1: I find it funny that OP’s sister thinks he ruined her wedding and not her parents. He should have loudly added “you will get a son in law with me, he is waiting for me to get home and propose after this wedding. I will video it and put it in the family group chat and on all social media platforms and tag you all to it!”
That woulda shut the dad & everyone else TF up too. LoL
I’d block those annoying people.
And that’s how you get disowned. Typical gay thought.
To too blessed....Shame on you for trying to hurt the parents more and for using the name too blessed when you don’t follow what the Bible teaches about homosexuality.
@@zerotodona1495 and that's bad because...? Being screwed by a cactus is better than being family with toxic people.
@@sandyo1063 if you “follow the Bible” then you know not to judge... HYPOCRITE! F*ck off with your BS. I love all as I want to be loved and I sin like ALL PEOPLE do! My sins are no less than someone who is gay. Sick of man written Bible thumping “christians” who weaponize the Bible to fit the bull$h*t that spews from their mouths. Go repent! God makes no mistakes. When you prove that God said what was written, then come back to look down on me for loving all as equals.
Last story: totally out of the box idea here: let the grandson decide whether he wants grandma to rock up at any future games and everyone gets therapy, especially the adults.
If you don't want a bridesmaid with tattoo's...don't ask a woman with tattoo's to be a bridesmaid.
Tattoo's are permanent, it is literally her skin. NO ONE is going to alter their skin tone just to fit your wedding aesthetic.
@@owenfautley And her sister told her no. So obviously, she needs to skip the wedding altogether, as she cannot and will not 'conform' to a formal attire for this event.
Story 4: NTA you have two choices, either suck it up and have her in the wedding or remove her from the bridal party.
Last story: NTA players and coach know family members if she goes to games.
Ok so what brought my YTA for the controlling bridezilla is when she was upset that mommy and daddy didn’t side with her. So she’s used to getting her way and for once her parents realized the monster they created and now want to put their foot down. I guess better late than never but she is definitely going to try a few more stunts.
Dad: I'm both respecting your privacy by knocking but also asserting my authority as your father and coming in anyway.
I agree with the theory that the family at least suspected Op was gay in the first one judging from their comments. To add to it, they might have tried to confirm the suspicions with the questioning and just didn't think of him actually coming out
The OP in the last story did absolutely nothing wrong. I would never allow another family members disagreements with how I parent be taken out on my child. Ever. Scorched Earth. No prisoners
First story: he was literally called a sissy in front of everyone! That YTA is stupid.
The YTA is probably the bride!
The one to call story 1 OP the AH...why should OP keep accepting it, especially when they are trying to tear him down in front of his family? I didn't know that weddings needed a sacrificial lamb to legitimize the couple.
Sure, BIL, we'll help you out but only AFTER you attend counselling.
Thanks again XOS. Have a great day
Story 2: Stop paying rent. It’s his house, not yours. Do exactly whatever your chores were when you were a kid as your household contribution. If he starts acting up about you not paying, tell him you won’t unless you get a rental contract-it’s his house, after all. You don’t want to overstep again, so you should get all the terms in writing.
Last story: Grandma is abusing her grandxhild to get back at OP. Definitely keep her away from your son.
Grandma literally sat in the one place that shows she *doesn’t* support her grandson. She just wants to stir up crap
#1 nta, they were 💩 talking and you fight back. Good on op.
Can brides stop asking people to change the way their friends look.
Story 2. OP, if you are brave, walk around naked as you don't have privacy and your parents often are walking on you, it shouldn't make much difference to them. I am sure your father wouldn't like it and maybe then you can reset the boundaries.
Sorry, I am petty and an AH.
I was totally thinking the same thing. I'm petty enough to go one better and get the naughty toys out. 🤣
Last story: the grandma can support her grandson however she wants. By supporting the other team? Most the commenters on that seem to be clueless.
God what a bridezilla. Your sister will never be close to you, forever.
For the privacy story, I would walk around the house stark naked until I got the door back. “What? Oh, I thought there was no need for privacy? Why should I hide anything?”
Story of the brother.. If Chris gets a check on Friday, he can wait until then he and buy the stuff himself!
Story of bridesmaid... Op knew her sister was tattooed, pierced, and dyed.. she didn’t have to ask her if she wanted her to look “ normal”.
An important thing to remember about Bridezillas; Godzilla is not always the bad guy in the movies
Story 4: It sounds like you only like the idea of you sister in the wedding but you don’t actually want her in it. I hate it when people say stuff like “If you loved me you would compromise. It’s not that big a deal”. You are literally asking her to get rid of all the unique things that make her her.
10 years down the road you won’t even remember anything about you sisters hair and tattoos on your wedding day. Just focus on the actual important thing: getting married
Agree!! She doesn't actually want her sister in the wedding she wants the imaginary BS version she has in her head and calls sister "a spoile brat" for not agreeing to her BS.
Stories like these make me think why don't these AH's just hire actors then?? Pay them enough and they fit the description of your "perfect wedding".... I know it's money and them expecting their loved ones to put up with their crap.
If I were the sister I just wouldn't attend and take myself of the whole drama!! Even if she goes as a guest and dress accordingly for a wedding but tats and peircings still showing you'll have to listen to years of BS from OP about how you "ruined her photos"
Yeah if u loved me u would compromise, well if u love your sister u would accept her as she is. It's not a rule that your sisters have to be in your bridal party, so either u shouldn't have asked her or u should accept who she is and not have these ridiculous rules for her.
I'm confused at how people are thinking it op that wants the sister there. It sounds more like the parents to show a "family" unit. Most parents that show favoritism are the one to hide that they favor one kid. The fact op said that the parents side with her more tells you how it may show favoritism if the sister didn't show up
@@owenfautley Oh, she can ASK. And she did ask. And she was told no. Now she has to deal with that no.
Story 1, NTA they all made comments about him. That woman had the gale to say he ruined her wedding when she just said the offensive saying "wired the wrong way".
"WIRED WRONG" EXCUSE ME?!?!??!?!???!!!
Story 1: OP, you did Not ruin the wedding, your family did, especially your dad.
It’s NOT normal to give people a budget of how much they must spend on you or for your wedding …. That is beyond entitled!
#1 NTA Michelle's wedding and she says, "I can hook you up unless you're wired the wrong way." She started this then complains? They sound abusive.
I’m sorry but tax money was always her money. It’s not money they didn’t have before paying taxes. They just sent it on a trip! 😂.
Story 3: OP could have told the partner to tell the mooching BIL to go to his local public library if he's board. Some have games you can check out and lots of other neat stuff, and it's all FREE!
Take the door off the parent’s bedroom and put it on his door. Dad is TA and a bully. NTA!
YTA! If OP doesn’t want her sister as a bridesmaid she should not have asked her. Why doesn’t OP want her to drop out? Let her drop out and find someone who can conform to her aesthetic.
It's probably more the parents that want the look of a "family" unit to hide that they favor the op more. She probably hiding that their paying the wedding so them siding with the sister is telling that they want the sister not op.
2nd story; How can the home belong to OP's father if OP is paying 1/3 of the rent? Rent,= rental property. OP should move out. If you are paying an equal portion to live somewhere, the you do not get treated like a 2nd class citizen.
I don't understand this toxic mindset of people thinking no one in a house deserves privacy. Start walking in on your parents every time they try to get it in & see how quickly he gets on board with the privacy. Even in 50s this mentality wouldn't have flown.
No privacy: The dad is off his hinges. Move away. If you can't move out, dress in fetish clothing in your room just to show him the value of privacy.
Bridezilla story: simple solution- if the sister told OP that she had to die her hair, wear at least temporary tattoos, and get a bunch of piercings, and wear an a outfit she’d consider awful, would she?
Considering the way she’s acted, and her comments about the parents usually siding with her, she’s a spoiled brat, bear golden child, and will be lucky if her sister attends at all
Clearly, the father likes catching his son naked. It's weird AF, but I can't come up with another explanation. Move out, don't give them another dime.
Story 2-He has a freaking sister?! Does his creepy parent walk in on her or is it reserved for his male child? This is unacceptable. Total disrespect of body and space and-again-uber creepy.
Story 2: If you pay rent, you have rights as a tenant, and that includes privacy. I would sue him for harassment and for violating tenant rights. I’d report him to the state/provincial housing authorities. That family is toxic and abusive. Withhold all future rent and sue for your paid rent money back.