To be honest I've struggled with this. I've always been worried about what others were doing and being left behind because of the moves they were making that I wasn't. So now I'm determined to become a designer and putting what you speak into practice to be an effective designer. Gonna start hooking up with other designers here in the Philly area
@@vincentpollack It didn’t work out and because here in my city, you gotta pretty much know someone to get your foot in the door. I did manage to secure a internship with a startup but they couldn’t guarantee employment or references so my experience wasn’t that great. I made the switch to cyber security and doing way better than before.
I just read a psychology study that made college kids read/grade each others papers. It found that the kids who graded papers with similar quality work to their own were more likely to continue to do well and graduate the class. However, those who graded papers that were waaay better than theirs were much more likely to perform poorly on their next paper and/or drop out. They concluded that social comparisons made to people with much better skill sets to our own made us feel like we were much worse than we actually were and caused us to basically give up. That there was no point in trying to improve since someone else was much better already and we wouldn't ever be as good. I think this study seemed to pretty accurately show what many people feel. Especially now with social media and everyone showing their facade life to the world. It makes others feel like they'll never be able to get to that level when in reality if they keep focusing on improving they will.
Yup....It almost seems like we go straight to the end results instead of concentrating on the path. It's tough. We search for the glory moments and when we do, we tend to get depressed or unmotivated because we aren't there yet. Great advice Mike!
Thanks for this bro. I have a bad problem with always looking through facebook or Instagram. When ever i see a photo of people partying or enjoying them selves and im just sitting at home after work , it makes me feel mad , and sad sometimes. I really gotta take your advice and just focus on my self.
I have been struggling with this for a long time,thinking about other people and then feeling discouraged with my own life. It has reached a point where it has affected me a lot in regards to my studies,for example if I am studying a topic,immediately my mind is shifting to someone else who already know the topic and how they are better at it than me and it just makes me anxious to continue to study. I really want to stop thinking about others but I don't know how because everything is making me think of other people in stead of my own life, it is just so hard. Another thing that is also affecting me a lot is if I do focus on myself, I fear the people like friends that I had would go or stop speaking to me the way they did or if I become distanced from others. I really need to take more control of my life but I don't know how or where to start.
About the friends part, idk about u, but I only share stuff with a couple friends that I'm really close with and share the same energy with. The rest I keep as acquaintances. Main point is, try to have a more private and small social circle to focus on yourself
@@starlight4323 I have always had a small circle of friends,and kept everything about my life private but this thought of loosing the small amount of friends I have because of focusing more on myself scares me a lot
There is this girl in my class and she’s very smart and people now see her as the smartest out of everyone else in the class and I hate that saying but I need to focus on myself more than what she’s doing to be honest I need to learn and your video is helping me already I need to focus on myself and what I need to do I don’t need to be better than her to do what I need to do
Thank you so much. This really helped today. I was feeling bad about how some people treated me; but now I just realize focusing on myself makes everything else irrelevant.
Excellent advice Mike. Thank you. I have been so caught up worrying about what other people are doing and not focusing on my own life. This video was perfect for me!
Awesome video, Mike! 100% agree! It's dangerous to your own growth to live vicariously through others. It can sometimes give us a false sense of accomplishment, just like if we watch our favorite team win on TV - even though _we_ didn't win anything, _they_ did. It's almost as if you get a mental reward from watching other people succeed, but I think it can really hurt motivation, you know: _“YAY my team won, today was a good day!”_ - but of course it can also be a source of inspiration to see someone else succeed, _so it's all about the dosage_ - there's a method to the madness.
This simple concept is so valuable. I remember how my dad would mention similar things when I was younger. I this way of living allowed him to retire at 46 years old.
When you focus on yourself and not others you can think clearly because only focus on the things you can control if you worry about others life not good because u can't control what they do and don't know what they do. Make your dreams come true also if u play boxing or other sport your going to be like I won't let you beat me so you can be happy u need to make yourself happy there's other people who don't care about u and why I should I care about others life when they mite not even like me but I liked your video you have positive set of mind with this video
Right now. I'm living with the kind of people who won't let me learn how to do my own errands and have a life of my own because they might gaslight me and cop Attitudes at me !
this is so easier said than done for me. i've exerted lots of mental willpower into trying to stop myself from comapring myself with others but at the end of the day, i still can't focus on myself :(
It can be hard, too. Because when you are so passionate with your own growth and life. People will gravitate towards you and realistically, you won't have time for them. Sometimes, you won't even know much of what is going on in their lives, because you're so driven and lost into your drive, that it can offend them and you won't even know it. But you can feel it, if that makes sense? But I'm going to end this with a quote from who I think was whom quoted it; "Successful people never worry about what others are doing." -Oprah Winfrey
You are awesome, I just thank youtube for coming across with your channel a few years ago, one of the best decisions I made was to pay for your online training course, literally, changed my life. Keep up the excellent work.
O man...how come suddenly you recorded this video. And how come I suddenly see this after four years that you uploaded this. I am really hurting my life with this problem. On the otherhand tehre is my husband who os really affected by the bad results of my thoughts. I want to save both of us from the negative effects. This video helped me today. Thank you❤
I have been investing in apartment rentals sense 2013 and I still live in my apartment it’s a 2 bedroom i have 2 kids and a husband . My family and friends are Trying to distract us . We don’t want to buy a house right know we would rather invest in business . They are saying things like buy a house. But the thing is I understand this one thing. I understand if you want a different life you have to be willing to take calculated risk . I don’t want to work for other people all my life. My mindset is different. I invest in passive income streams like apartment rentals or any business that’s is giving me income. But they are like I am not enjoying my life that I will be old when I enjoy my money. What is enjoy everyone has different meaning of that.
I struggle with this. I swear I am a good person, following my dreams, I love particular people deeply and I try to always help those I see good in without expecting anything back. But this keeps happening to me, mostly with 2 people in particular, 2 girls my age who were once my friends (they don't know each other) but now I really despise them. They are both very unlikeable people and they have annoying personalities. Hard people to be around with specially if you really get to know them. One of them was actually very rude to me. They are both very immature too (and they both have many things in common... I noticed that once I ended my friendships with them). Here's the thing, every time I find out about something good going on in their life it just makes my blood boil... I don't like feeling this way but I genuinely believe they don't deserve good things to happen to them. One more than the other really but I just hate them both 🤣. Ironically neither of them is liked by much people, they don't have many friends (or any at all really...) one of them is a mommy's girl and the other is a selfish conceited twat. Can't help to feel this way but I'm also tired that it affects me so much, because really whatever happens to them, either good or bad, doesn't affect my life in the slightest. I just don't think it's fair that them being so annoying, selfish and immature should be able to accomplish their dreams without payback for the bad they've done. And not just to me really... one of them is not even a good person. The other is just annoying but I don't think she's a bad person really. But one of them is. She's toxic. Yet she is kinda successful... why does this affect me so much and why do I feel so much disgust towards these people? They are no longer part of my life...
Great advice and video. I got one questions. I have been watching so many other videos and research on this topic. And also how to move forward. But not sure which is the right steps to take??
Short, powerfull video! Been lookin’ for this kind of video man thanks. Better then all those 20 min videos of improving your own shit and other stuff. This in my opinion tops all of them.
don’t say that you can’t do that you can ! you are strong enough to do whatever you put your mind to. people only put out their best so stop comparing their best to your worst. it’s not worth it !!🤍
We are not in a race I don’t hold a conventional view I’m not concerned with being the best, or being better than you I’m concerned with being better than me At the highest levels, that’s the only better of even trying to be - Homeboy Sandman
Awesome video very inspirational! Mike Locke I was wondering which adobe should I have Fireworks or Dreamweaver? which will be more useful for web designer/ Ux/UI designer. Thank you so much!
We can relayed this topic of how to stop focusing what others do with comparison because when you follows the others you compare your life with them and that can lead to depression or social anxiety
I hate myself because my highschool class were such fuckin dicks to me and somehow they are living lives with families.....thank you for this video....I needed this.
Some of my classmembers also have relationship with Our old teacher. Like friendship ( im Sure they dont hang out every weekend etc but still im tonafraid to aproch and say hi and when i had the chance for such a relationship a few years ago i was to afraidcto take it. AMD only reason i startet thinking about it again was runing into them.meting infront of this grocery store geting stuff. Propaly to Grill
@@indedgames4359 hey im glad you responded im actually doin alot better been doin my own thing gotta good paying job and kinda been finding the roots to my problems i dont blame my problems on highschool anymore it is what it is but healing is a long long road
I dunno but everytime I just couldn't stop focusing and carrying what others doing especially in my social circle or the close person i knew.......😢just feeling sad that everytime i find out that my friend is always going out without me and doing their thingy happily and im not Invited to join woth them ...just i feel so overwhelmed and my heart just pounding so fast and i couldn't think clearly, this so worse for my mental health..help, im easily getting sensitive , and get depressed by this thought, no i just couldn't stop have this kind of carrying what people in around me doing. Just like...ya......like in ur circle friend just two of your friends are the close and just u left and never get blended into their community. I feel so sick of it. So everytine their laugh together doing playful thing going hangout without me knowing or get asked by them 😢i always get so so sad ....like ....im so dumb to care about this but i just get disappointed how stuck am i in social, i even don't know how to get into new social circle when i have very heavy social anxiety disorder
Even more important...stop worrying about what other people eat, read, watch, wear, etc. If you're vegan, good for you, but don't look down on people for not being what you are.
It is sad to talk to a person who is always filtering their life through what other respected people say, do, buy, think…. Because you feel like they are so anxious and only worried about keeping up with others and not examining what they believe and want to bring about… their prompts for action are just what someone else did and it’s stressful to listen to them do this verbally without introspection.
"If you continuously compete with others, you become bitter. If you continuously compete with yourself, you become better!"
+nadiainthesky Well said! :-)
Nadia thanks for those words. They are true and until you read them people just plod along suffering.. thank you 😙
Love this
It's true
Love
I never had the best grades , the best clothes I was always envying thank you man really changed my perspective
To be honest I've struggled with this. I've always been worried about what others were doing and being left behind because of the moves they were making that I wasn't. So now I'm determined to become a designer and putting what you speak into practice to be an effective designer. Gonna start hooking up with other designers here in the Philly area
Update?
@@vincentpollack It didn’t work out and because here in my city, you gotta pretty much know someone to get your foot in the door. I did manage to secure a internship with a startup but they couldn’t guarantee employment or references so my experience wasn’t that great. I made the switch to cyber security and doing way better than before.
@@gabrielnathaniel6959 Keep working hard I believe in you！
@@gabrielnathaniel6959 *Keep putting in that work I believe You king🙏🏽✨*
@@mambawolf4792 thanks a lot man I truly appreciate you King
I just read a psychology study that made college kids read/grade each others papers. It found that the kids who graded papers with similar quality work to their own were more likely to continue to do well and graduate the class. However, those who graded papers that were waaay better than theirs were much more likely to perform poorly on their next paper and/or drop out. They concluded that social comparisons made to people with much better skill sets to our own made us feel like we were much worse than we actually were and caused us to basically give up. That there was no point in trying to improve since someone else was much better already and we wouldn't ever be as good.
I think this study seemed to pretty accurately show what many people feel. Especially now with social media and everyone showing their facade life to the world. It makes others feel like they'll never be able to get to that level when in reality if they keep focusing on improving they will.
Yup....It almost seems like we go straight to the end results instead of concentrating on the path. It's tough. We search for the glory moments and when we do, we tend to get depressed or unmotivated because we aren't there yet. Great advice Mike!
Thanks for this bro. I have a bad problem with always looking through facebook or Instagram. When ever i see a photo of people partying or enjoying them selves and im just sitting at home after work , it makes me feel mad , and sad sometimes. I really gotta take your advice and just focus on my self.
I have been struggling with this for a long time,thinking about other people and then feeling discouraged with my own life.
It has reached a point where it has affected me a lot in regards to my studies,for example if I am studying a topic,immediately my mind is shifting to someone else who already know the topic and how they are better at it than me and it just makes me anxious to continue to study. I really want to stop thinking about others but I don't know how because everything is making me think of other people in stead of my own life, it is just so hard.
Another thing that is also affecting me a lot is if I do focus on myself, I fear the people like friends that I had would go or stop speaking to me the way they did or if I become distanced from others.
I really need to take more control of my life but I don't know how or where to start.
I can relate sm to this. But I'm learning to take things at my own pace
About the friends part, idk about u, but I only share stuff with a couple friends that I'm really close with and share the same energy with. The rest I keep as acquaintances. Main point is, try to have a more private and small social circle to focus on yourself
@@starlight4323 I have always had a small circle of friends,and kept everything about my life private but this thought of loosing the small amount of friends I have because of focusing more on myself scares me a lot
There is this girl in my class and she’s very smart and people now see her as the smartest out of everyone else in the class and I hate that saying but I need to focus on myself more than what she’s doing to be honest I need to learn and your video is helping me already I need to focus on myself and what I need to do I don’t need to be better than her to do what I need to do
Thank you so much. This really helped today. I was feeling bad about how some people treated me; but now I just realize focusing on myself makes everything else irrelevant.
I really needed to hear this. Thanks Mike!
You are such a wise man, I'm glad I came across your channel :)
Exactly ✊🏿
This message came at a great time.Thanks Mike.
Excellent advice Mike. Thank you. I have been so caught up worrying about what other people are doing and not focusing on my own life. This video was perfect for me!
Man, thanks for this video. I really needed to hear that.
Awesome video, Mike! 100% agree!
It's dangerous to your own growth to live vicariously through others. It can sometimes give us a false sense of accomplishment, just like if we watch our favorite team win on TV - even though _we_ didn't win anything, _they_ did.
It's almost as if you get a mental reward from watching other people succeed, but I think it can really hurt motivation, you know: _“YAY my team won, today was a good day!”_ - but of course it can also be a source of inspiration to see someone else succeed, _so it's all about the dosage_ - there's a method to the madness.
This simple concept is so valuable. I remember how my dad would mention similar things when I was younger. I this way of living allowed him to retire at 46 years old.
I couldn't agree with you more! Great video!
When you focus on yourself and not others you can think clearly because only focus on the things you can control if you worry about others life not good because u can't control what they do and don't know what they do. Make your dreams come true also if u play boxing or other sport your going to be like I won't let you beat me so you can be happy u need to make yourself happy there's other people who don't care about u and why I should I care about others life when they mite not even like me but I liked your video you have positive set of mind with this video
Excellent Excellent video !
I have a new perspective on my thinking! Thank you, Thank you, THANK YOU!!
My friend wayne needs to hear this!
Right now. I'm living with the kind of people who won't let me learn how to do my own errands and have a life of my own because they might gaslight me and cop Attitudes at me !
this is so easier said than done for me. i've exerted lots of mental willpower into trying to stop myself from comapring myself with others but at the end of the day, i still can't focus on myself :(
I agree 😊 Thank you for sharing
Great Video! So Positive. We're equal, Have the same rights, One person Isn't better than another. We're all winners who can do anything! A+.
It can be hard, too. Because when you are so passionate with your own growth and life. People will gravitate towards you and realistically, you won't have time for them. Sometimes, you won't even know much of what is going on in their lives, because you're so driven and lost into your drive, that it can offend them and you won't even know it. But you can feel it, if that makes sense?
But I'm going to end this with a quote from who I think was whom quoted it;
"Successful people never worry about what others are doing."
-Oprah Winfrey
You are awesome, I just thank youtube for coming across with your channel a few years ago, one of the best decisions I made was to pay for your online training course, literally, changed my life. Keep up the excellent work.
I appreciate this message and your approach. Thank you.
Thanks for the talk. Yes I have fallen in this trap, it does bring me down . Mike you are spot on. Thanks.
Right on, because I don't care about other's or look at their lives or their private live.... I don't care what you think about me!
God bless you for this piece of advice ❤
O man...how come suddenly you recorded this video. And how come I suddenly see this after four years that you uploaded this.
I am really hurting my life with this problem. On the otherhand tehre is my husband who os really affected by the bad results of my thoughts.
I want to save both of us from the negative effects.
This video helped me today.
Thank you❤
Thank you for this video, this is exactly what I needed to see!!
Thank you! Really needed to hear this!
I have been investing in apartment rentals sense 2013 and I still live in my apartment it’s a 2 bedroom i have 2 kids and a husband . My family and friends are Trying to distract us . We don’t want to buy a house right know we would rather invest in business . They are saying things like buy a house. But the thing is I understand this one thing. I understand if you want a different life you have to be willing to take calculated risk . I don’t want to work for other people all my life. My mindset is different. I invest in passive income streams like apartment rentals or any business that’s is giving me income. But they are like I am not enjoying my life that I will be old when I enjoy my money. What is enjoy everyone has different meaning of that.
Thanks for sharing! 👍🏼
my new year's resolution. thank you
Very inspirational thanks for the message!
Thanks for this video !🙌🏽
Real talk, Mike - Love it!
Thanks mike your the best in whole world!
This was really helpful for me and what im going through right now and im grateful this video came to me, youre good with your words
Needed to hear this today. Great message my friend
so refreshing right now! Thank you!
Love this!!!
Great Video! So Positive and True.
TY this is so Awesome
I needed this today. Thank you sir👊
Really needed this
I really needed to hear this you helped me a lot man thank you :)
I struggle with this. I swear I am a good person, following my dreams, I love particular people deeply and I try to always help those I see good in without expecting anything back. But this keeps happening to me, mostly with 2 people in particular, 2 girls my age who were once my friends (they don't know each other) but now I really despise them. They are both very unlikeable people and they have annoying personalities. Hard people to be around with specially if you really get to know them. One of them was actually very rude to me. They are both very immature too (and they both have many things in common... I noticed that once I ended my friendships with them). Here's the thing, every time I find out about something good going on in their life it just makes my blood boil... I don't like feeling this way but I genuinely believe they don't deserve good things to happen to them. One more than the other really but I just hate them both 🤣. Ironically neither of them is liked by much people, they don't have many friends (or any at all really...) one of them is a mommy's girl and the other is a selfish conceited twat. Can't help to feel this way but I'm also tired that it affects me so much, because really whatever happens to them, either good or bad, doesn't affect my life in the slightest. I just don't think it's fair that them being so annoying, selfish and immature should be able to accomplish their dreams without payback for the bad they've done. And not just to me really... one of them is not even a good person. The other is just annoying but I don't think she's a bad person really. But one of them is. She's toxic. Yet she is kinda successful... why does this affect me so much and why do I feel so much disgust towards these people? They are no longer part of my life...
Thanks great advice at right time
Indeed...best video.
That's really a useful advice
Great advice and video. I got one questions. I have been watching so many other videos and research on this topic. And also how to move forward. But not sure which is the right steps to take??
Mike, you nailed this...mantra.
Hey aren't you in that Philly based UX group?
+blu Orange Hi! Yes, I am! Have I met you?
+Gina Davis No we haven't met yet lol but when I went to the group page to see when's the next event your name popped up :)
+blu Orange oh nice! Maybe we'll get see each other at the next seminar! Thanks for reaching out!
+Gina Davis Of course no problem just gotta when Chris wants to hold the next one!.
thanks for this video, that is encouraging.
Very good message! Great video! Thumbs up!
Good job Mike! Great message
Short, powerfull video! Been lookin’ for this kind of video man thanks. Better then all those 20 min videos of improving your own shit and other stuff. This in my opinion tops all of them.
Awesome Mike Thanks!!
I am constantly focused on other peoples friends and lives its sad but I cannot stop :/
don’t say that you can’t do that you can ! you are strong enough to do whatever you put your mind to. people only put out their best so stop comparing their best to your worst. it’s not worth it !!🤍
@@rainswirl9866 thank you so much honestly this made my day I’m honestly in a much better place now and I hope you are happy as well :) 🤍
We are not in a race
I don’t hold a conventional view
I’m not concerned with being the best, or being better than you
I’m concerned with being better than me
At the highest levels, that’s the only better of even trying to be
- Homeboy Sandman
love this
Really good video, Mike! More this motivational stuff.
Great Video Thanks Mike
Thankyou ...i needed this
Great advice. Been subscribed to your channel for a few years now.
platinum member
Words of Wisdom
Thank you for this man.
Great video..thanks it helped me 👍
Mike buddy..thanks a lot..
Thank you so much
Thanks sir
Thanks
Hi Mike
Brilliant introduction, please forward details of your course.
Regards Herbie
Awesome video very inspirational! Mike Locke I was wondering which adobe should I have Fireworks or Dreamweaver? which will be more useful for web designer/ Ux/UI designer. Thank you so much!
We can relayed this topic of how to stop focusing what others do with comparison because when you follows the others you compare your life with them and that can lead to depression or social anxiety
Well man thank you! You are really my inspiration :-)
More vids like this please!!
Thanks Mike, right message at the right time :) (y)
True
great video, really motivated me to work on myself :)
OMG so true!!!
Good insight.
Great Video so true !
Great video and advice as always! :)
thanks for this
this video is very helpful
Real Spill Mike.
I hate myself because my highschool class were such fuckin dicks to me and somehow they are living lives with families.....thank you for this video....I needed this.
Some of my classmembers also have relationship with Our old teacher. Like friendship ( im Sure they dont hang out every weekend etc but still im tonafraid to aproch and say hi and when i had the chance for such a relationship a few years ago i was to afraidcto take it. AMD only reason i startet thinking about it again was runing into them.meting infront of this grocery store geting stuff. Propaly to Grill
However sounded like they havntseen each other in a few years so mayby it Was just catchibg up and nothing else
@@indedgames4359 hey im glad you responded im actually doin alot better been doin my own thing gotta good paying job and kinda been finding the roots to my problems i dont blame my problems on highschool anymore it is what it is but healing is a long long road
love it!
thanks bro
I Just Need a Break From Young Women I really do If I am Not ready I am Not ready
I dunno but everytime I just couldn't stop focusing and carrying what others doing especially in my social circle or the close person i knew.......😢just feeling sad that everytime i find out that my friend is always going out without me and doing their thingy happily and im not Invited to join woth them ...just i feel so overwhelmed and my heart just pounding so fast and i couldn't think clearly, this so worse for my mental health..help, im easily getting sensitive , and get depressed by this thought, no i just couldn't stop have this kind of carrying what people in around me doing. Just like...ya......like in ur circle friend just two of your friends are the close and just u left and never get blended into their community. I feel so sick of it. So everytine their laugh together doing playful thing going hangout without me knowing or get asked by them 😢i always get so so sad ....like ....im so dumb to care about this but i just get disappointed how stuck am i in social, i even don't know how to get into new social circle when i have very heavy social anxiety disorder
Dammm....🙏💯
Even more important...stop worrying about what other people eat, read, watch, wear, etc. If you're vegan, good for you, but don't look down on people for not being what you are.
It is sad to talk to a person who is always filtering their life through what other respected people say, do, buy, think…. Because you feel like they are so anxious and only worried about keeping up with others and not examining what they believe and want to bring about… their prompts for action are just what someone else did and it’s stressful to listen to them do this verbally without introspection.
Im struggling with this right now .. Im willing to work this out because its toxicating me.
On point!
How do you deal with the competition? What’s the right perspective on that so you don’t feel distracted or intimidated?