Please support our RUclips channel by Subscribing - ruclips.net/user/SaveTheMessenger It means a lot to me to see you want to learn about these topics.
I have subscribed and I always wait for your videos. Make more videos please. Your videos really help. Can you please make a video to help with guys who play mind games and don't express their feelings. I am a very expressive person and I know someone who doesn't even like to show he cares most of the time but the second I back away or back off from him he starts to show care and it's like he gets scared that I will back away completely. But I think it's really unfair to keep doing that to me. Can you help please? Thank you so much for your videos in helping to understand men better and thank you in advance for helping me.
Great video. You see, silent treatment is never a mature way to handle differences. Always best to talk about things. There is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship. I However learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago my wife and I were on the brink of a divorce because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it.
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things!!!
its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
@@oglaskubuotsometimes the best thing you can do for her is to become a better listener ❤ she usually will be very forward throughout the relationship and give you ideas of how to love her the way she wants and needs. Think backwards to those times. God bless
Red flags paid off for me my X and I never hid our phones but then one day I walked by his ringing phone and when I picked it up to take over to him as he was sitting on the couch he said "why are you looking at my phone...sadly the cheater was caught...
The truth is, we all act sh*tty in certain moments, and thats completely normal. Its not about being or even finding the perfect partner. Its about being and finding someone whos willing to grow, adapt, and upgrade themselves, when faced with the challenges and obstacles in life, while sharing life with someone else, and working together with that person, to build a safe place at home where you can both feel safe to be vulnerable and relax, at the end of the day. A place where you dont need to keep up the charade that you show the rest of the world all day long. Its about communicating, even when its hard. Because its usually the most difficult conversations that end up being the most important conversations. No one wants to come home from a long day of work and be talked down to, complained at, and annoyed. Nobody. You can tell someone that you dont like something they are doing, without being negative about it. You wouldnt like it if someone was doing this to you every day, after you just had to deal with your horrible boss, and useless co-workers all day long. So why would you put someone else through that? Listen, if you have to repeatedly tell someone that something they are doing is hurting you, or affecting you negatively, and you dont want to feel that way anymore, and they arent working together with you to figure out a win/win solution, where neither of you are forced to accept your needs not being met, then they dont actually care about you, or the relationship, and you should probably get out now, before 20 years goes by and all youve got out of the relationship is resentment and hate. People should co-operate, compromise, and grow when they are together. You cant force someone to change. Ever. They need to be willing to put the effort in, to find a solution together with you, so that no one is left feeling unheard, unimportant, unloved, and hurt. Remember its not you vs. your partner. Its you and your partner vs. the problem. Because if only one of you "wins" (be it an argument or whatever), then its the relationship thats losing.
Holy. When I started reading this I thought you should be a counsellor . Part way through though we hen referring to boss and co workers....maybe the person needs a better workplace and the partner at home doesn't want to hear about the day to day badness, of which they have no control, dumped on them. Perhaps avoiding dumping day to day stress factors on a partner would be better.
Gaslighting is gaslighting! Someone constantly telling you what you do, say or think is wrong. Telling lies and saying it's not lead me to find out a day after we broke up he was telling lies about another woman being with him. Kept saying she was an "old family friend". Women are not idiots.
The best relationship is the relationship to yourself. Both couples must be whole/ complete before they enter into a commitment, otherwise it wont work. Thus, know who you are, what you want, and where you're heading.❤
Silent treatment is called stone walling. Its a behavior shown by narcissists. There is a big difference between silent treatment abd taking a break to calm down for a few hours. If a guy refused to speak to me fir more than a day I'd be gone.
I've got one. Going to bed angry. There's a lot of things that can't be resolved that night but try to give each other a sense of peace. I felt worse than single on the nights he slammed the bedroom door and one of us slept on the couch or on the guest bed
Silent treatment - stay unaffected! Thats a bad solution. As i i did it for days. But for how long u should react that you are unaffected and how many times. I have been given Silent treatment multiple times i cant even imagine…like 100s of times. Hence dont be with those who do it! Also i have never done it to my parents siblings and etc!
I've never checked my partner phone because if there's trust issues i prefer single Being in a relationship need to know each other very well it's very important 😊 But if u both like each other It is better prefer dating before relationship
Thank you coz u have expressed many things that wud make things better. Yes each one is diff but one needs space n communication is the key it's good to respect ur partner n also appreciate things they do for one another npatience is the key. Thanks ❤🌹🙏
Ismael, where you have been 10 years ago!?!? Like your honesty and approach to women that maybe would not be lisen if you would talk in some other way. (Sorry I am bad in English, never learn it in my life.) Before I was a wreck and needed a man in life just too feel alive. Then I met God. Now I am single, for a 7-8 years, and feel bether now when I am no longer "emotional vampire" or "drama queen". Like your work and hope that girls and women will learn from you!
i don’t believe a man should love me unconditionally. as much as i’d WANT that. a man loving me under certain conditions teaches me to be a better version of myself. men like mature and emotionally stable women. so if a man loves me while i’m all over the place, it’s okay if he didn’t because i don’t blame him. it’s a lot loving someone who isn’t stable. no one is obligated to give me the amount of love that i want
I agree. I don’t think love can be 100% unconditional between couples, but that’s okay. It just means that if someone starts treating me badly, I have the right to leave them.
Hello Ismael!😂 I just found this site yesterday and have seen maybe 12-15 episodes. I think most of your advice is quite valid if not really entertaining. There are a couple of things i would really like to discuss with you about your videos, but I'd rather not say them in such a public forum. I really don't know much about how to send you an.email, but if you'd like to tell me where I could find an address to use, that would be awesome. Thanks so much!
I don't think unconditional love is realistic for relationships outside of childern and pets. As people we set boundaries and those boundaries need to be respected. Now are there people that we will love regardless of their flaws absolutely. But I consider that to be true accepting love not unconditional
Make more videos please. Your videos really help. Can you please make a video to help with guys who play mind games and don't express their feelings. I am a very expressive person and I know someone who doesn't even like to show he cares most of the time but the second I back away or back off from him he starts to show care and it's like he gets scared that I will back away completely. But I think it's really unfair to keep doing that to me. Can you help please? Thank you so much for your videos in helping to understand men better and thank you in advance for helping me.
@SaveTheMessenger Thank you very much for your reply. I have seen your video on emotionally unavailable men and although I did find it to be useful I am still unclear on why they play mind games. Could you help me understand this? As if he is always showing he doesn't care then why does he start showing care when I start backing off? Thank you once again. And please make more videos to help us please.
My X had a favourite one liner that would really hit my angry button: "Your in a C***t of a Mood!". Usually after he had Pis**d me off. 2 reasons, he was the source of my mood and the fact I hated the "C" word. Eventually I turned that one on him!
I am not taking any more advice from men. I am a woman and do not need a man to tell me how to be one. Love me or don't. I don't care. My edit is: there are several things that are genderless that are most important kindness, do not be rude, trusts, tell the truth, do not get angry easily to name a few. The part about being a woman cannot be known to a man nor can the part about being a man be known to a woman but the parts that are important that I listed are what both genders should strive for.
Insecurity: might he be giving you reason to be insecure and ask questions? A guy who says he loves you, then flirts with others? MEN OFTEN MAKE WOMEN FEEL INSECURE IN A RELATIONSHIP. If I feel like that, it's over.
One thing i know if he uses the silent treatment in arguments , i am out. It's too immature and disrespectful and I no longer have time nor energy in my life to tolerate that
Unconditional love is not just a fantasy. Some parents have that for their children. Some relationships that endured the test of time do too. A soldier returned from war injured. He did not love his wife any less nor did she love him less. He asked their friend to satisfy her in bed because due to his injuries he no longer could. He was whole when they married, and though he no longer was due to his employment/ deployment, it never stopped him from wanting her happiness to be fullfilled. Without jealousy, without self pity, they loved each other unconditionally. In your points you said to walk away and return when the arguement is less heated. Then you numbered the silent treatment. Theres a fine line when the pausing an argument becomes the silent treatment. These points go both ways and are not just what women do. A question for you is how do you stop a person from generally exaggerating in discussions where they repetatively use the words always and never?
I don’t agree we have to treat men like children because they’re “unconscious.” I see that in the moment it is better to give them space to cool down because they won’t listen anyway and it’d only make it worse. But afterwards? Ain’t nothing wrong with saying you don’t appreciate silent treatment and you’d rather talk out your problems or at the very least you want him to let you know he needs space
Exaggerated words: 'Always' which may be replaced instead with 'Often': I personally know that every single human being is not Christ (the only being who is Perfect and loves humanity unconditionally). Taught in College during my years of attendance; Before you think about marriage these five areas are where you and your partner should have in common; 1) Faith 2) Politics 3) Education 4) Income 5) Hobbies.
Ismael, you are so cute. If you shave your facial hair, you will be so handsome ! I love your videos, they are educating me; I was never taught any of this male knowledge in school.
![Seungmin "그렇게, 천천히, 우리(As we are)" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kAzmhLHePqU/mqdefault.jpg)
Please support our RUclips channel by Subscribing -
ruclips.net/user/SaveTheMessenger
It means a lot to me to see you want to learn about these topics.
I have subscribed and I always wait for your videos. Make more videos please. Your videos really help. Can you please make a video to help with guys who play mind games and don't express their feelings. I am a very expressive person and I know someone who doesn't even like to show he cares most of the time but the second I back away or back off from him he starts to show care and it's like he gets scared that I will back away completely. But I think it's really unfair to keep doing that to me. Can you help please? Thank you so much for your videos in helping to understand men better and thank you in advance for helping me.
My men is still wearing the ring i gave him , what is the meaning of this
Great video. You see, silent treatment is never a mature way to handle differences. Always best to talk about things. There is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship. I However learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago my wife and I were on the brink of a divorce because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it.
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things!!!
its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
I hope this works for me too, because i am going to look her up right away
You definitely should. You wont regret it
@@oglaskubuotsometimes the best thing you can do for her is to become a better listener ❤ she usually will be very forward throughout the relationship and give you ideas of how to love her the way she wants and needs. Think backwards to those times. God bless
I do not remember giving silent treatment to anybody! It is horrible. Thanks for explaining what you use it for and how to react
Red flags paid off for me my X and I never hid our phones but then one day I walked by his ringing phone and when I picked it up to take over to him as he was sitting on the couch he said "why are you looking at my phone...sadly the cheater was caught...
I'm watching you because i want to prepare myself for my future half. I hope God will give my other half.
The truth is, we all act sh*tty in certain moments, and thats completely normal. Its not about being or even finding the perfect partner. Its about being and finding someone whos willing to grow, adapt, and upgrade themselves, when faced with the challenges and obstacles in life, while sharing life with someone else, and working together with that person, to build a safe place at home where you can both feel safe to be vulnerable and relax, at the end of the day. A place where you dont need to keep up the charade that you show the rest of the world all day long. Its about communicating, even when its hard. Because its usually the most difficult conversations that end up being the most important conversations. No one wants to come home from a long day of work and be talked down to, complained at, and annoyed. Nobody. You can tell someone that you dont like something they are doing, without being negative about it. You wouldnt like it if someone was doing this to you every day, after you just had to deal with your horrible boss, and useless co-workers all day long. So why would you put someone else through that? Listen, if you have to repeatedly tell someone that something they are doing is hurting you, or affecting you negatively, and you dont want to feel that way anymore, and they arent working together with you to figure out a win/win solution, where neither of you are forced to accept your needs not being met, then they dont actually care about you, or the relationship, and you should probably get out now, before 20 years goes by and all youve got out of the relationship is resentment and hate. People should co-operate, compromise, and grow when they are together. You cant force someone to change. Ever. They need to be willing to put the effort in, to find a solution together with you, so that no one is left feeling unheard, unimportant, unloved, and hurt. Remember its not you vs. your partner. Its you and your partner vs. the problem. Because if only one of you "wins" (be it an argument or whatever), then its the relationship thats losing.
Holy. When I started reading this I thought you should be a counsellor . Part way through though we hen referring to boss and co workers....maybe the person needs a better workplace and the partner at home doesn't want to hear about the day to day badness, of which they have no control, dumped on them. Perhaps avoiding dumping day to day stress factors on a partner would be better.
1.React Angrily to criticism
2.disrespecting partners privacy.
3.insecurity
4.keeping score ( doing )
5.silent treatment.
Gaslighting is gaslighting! Someone constantly telling you what you do, say or think is wrong. Telling lies and saying it's not lead me to find out a day after we broke up he was telling lies about another woman being with him. Kept saying she was an "old family friend". Women are not idiots.
Thank you for sharing your time and consideration
The best relationship is the relationship to yourself. Both couples must be whole/ complete before they enter into a commitment, otherwise it wont work. Thus, know who you are, what you want, and where you're heading.❤
Much wisdom in your words.
I really love all of your videos
Amazing teachings! Thank you, Ismael!
You are amazing. TY
Thank you so much for sharing these videos! The are very inspiring and helpful 🙏🏽
Silent treatment is called stone walling. Its a behavior shown by narcissists. There is a big difference between silent treatment abd taking a break to calm down for a few hours. If a guy refused to speak to me fir more than a day I'd be gone.
Thankyou Ismael.. 🎉
Thanks alot
tnx for ur valuable information 🙂
Thank youuu!!! Very helpful ❤❤❤❤
Thank you Ismael for your explicit explanation & guidance once again :)
Glad to see you're learning and growing from my content.
I've got one. Going to bed angry. There's a lot of things that can't be resolved that night but try to give each other a sense of peace. I felt worse than single on the nights he slammed the bedroom door and one of us slept on the couch or on the guest bed
Thank you so much that was great 😊
Thank you sir 😊🎉
Sure I will follow all your tips .
This is an excellent video.
Great video❤
Silent treatment - stay unaffected! Thats a bad solution. As i i did it for days. But for how long u should react that you are unaffected and how many times. I have been given Silent treatment multiple times i cant even imagine…like 100s of times. Hence dont be with those who do it! Also i have never done it to my parents siblings and etc!
Thank you Sir.
Yours videos are great!!!!! It always makes me positive ❤️ love from India 🇮🇳🪷✨
I've never checked my partner phone because if there's trust issues i prefer single Being in a relationship need to know each other very well it's very important 😊 But if u both like each other It is better prefer dating before relationship
Thank you coz u have expressed many things that wud make things better. Yes each one is diff but one needs space n communication is the key it's good to respect ur partner n also appreciate things they do for one another npatience is the key. Thanks ❤🌹🙏
Ismael, where you have been 10 years ago!?!? Like your honesty and approach to women that maybe would not be lisen if you would talk in some other way. (Sorry I am bad in English, never learn it in my life.) Before I was a wreck and needed a man in life just too feel alive. Then I met God. Now I am single, for a 7-8 years, and feel bether now when I am no longer "emotional vampire" or "drama queen". Like your work and hope that girls and women will learn from you!
i don’t believe a man should love me unconditionally. as much as i’d WANT that. a man loving me under certain conditions teaches me to be a better version of myself. men like mature and emotionally stable women. so if a man loves me while i’m all over the place, it’s okay if he didn’t because i don’t blame him. it’s a lot loving someone who isn’t stable. no one is obligated to give me the amount of love that i want
I agree. I don’t think love can be 100% unconditional between couples, but that’s okay. It just means that if someone starts treating me badly, I have the right to leave them.
@@madelynsage8728 yes!!
Yep
True…
I like your delivery, and sharing a bit of your own personal work.
The only people who can give unconditional love are children and parents.
Hello Ismael!😂 I just found this site yesterday and have seen maybe 12-15 episodes. I think most of your advice is quite valid if not really entertaining. There are a couple of things i would really like to discuss with you about your videos, but I'd rather not say them in such a public forum. I really don't know much about how to send you an.email, but if you'd like to tell me where I could find an address to use, that would be awesome. Thanks so much!
I don't think unconditional love is realistic for relationships outside of childern and pets. As people we set boundaries and those boundaries need to be respected. Now are there people that we will love regardless of their flaws absolutely. But I consider that to be true accepting love not unconditional
This. And I would add, SMALL children.
You can love the person unconditionally but not love their behavior.
Thanks for this message.
Reward him when he is open and communicating I didnt understand the solution
Make more videos please. Your videos really help. Can you please make a video to help with guys who play mind games and don't express their feelings. I am a very expressive person and I know someone who doesn't even like to show he cares most of the time but the second I back away or back off from him he starts to show care and it's like he gets scared that I will back away completely. But I think it's really unfair to keep doing that to me. Can you help please? Thank you so much for your videos in helping to understand men better and thank you in advance for helping me.
Go check here on my channel the video I made about emotionally unavailable men.
@SaveTheMessenger Thank you very much for your reply. I have seen your video on emotionally unavailable men and although I did find it to be useful I am still unclear on why they play mind games. Could you help me understand this? As if he is always showing he doesn't care then why does he start showing care when I start backing off? Thank you once again. And please make more videos to help us please.
I just don't think the average mind gamer wakes up and says 🤔 I think I am going to learn how to not play mind games, let me Google that.
My X had a favourite one liner that would really hit my angry button: "Your in a C***t of a Mood!". Usually after he had Pis**d me off. 2 reasons, he was the source of my mood and the fact I hated the "C" word. Eventually I turned that one on him!
I am not taking any more advice from men. I am a woman and do not need a man to tell me how to be one. Love me or don't. I don't care. My edit is: there are several things that are genderless that are most important kindness, do not be rude, trusts, tell the truth, do not get angry easily to name a few. The part about being a woman cannot be known to a man nor can the part about being a man be known to a woman but the parts that are important that I listed are what both genders should strive for.
I personally listen to many women with the hopes of becoming a better partner, brother and son. But I understand if you feel overwhelmed.
@@SaveTheMessengeri edited my comment and I think that probably could cover over alot. 🤷♀️
Insecurity: might he be giving you reason to be insecure and ask questions? A guy who says he loves you, then flirts with others? MEN OFTEN MAKE WOMEN FEEL INSECURE IN A RELATIONSHIP. If I feel like that, it's over.
One thing i know if he uses the silent treatment in arguments , i am out. It's too immature and disrespectful and I no longer have time nor energy in my life to tolerate that
But at times these men don't even allow u to move out without him yet all expenses on me while him he hangs alone is that right?
Unconditional love is not just a fantasy. Some parents have that for their children. Some relationships that endured the test of time do too. A soldier returned from war injured. He did not love his wife any less nor did she love him less. He asked their friend to satisfy her in bed because due to his injuries he no longer could. He was whole when they married, and though he no longer was due to his employment/ deployment, it never stopped him from wanting her happiness to be fullfilled. Without jealousy, without self pity, they loved each other unconditionally.
In your points you said to walk away and return when the arguement is less heated. Then you numbered the silent treatment. Theres a fine line when the pausing an argument becomes the silent treatment.
These points go both ways and are not just what women do.
A question for you is how do you stop a person from generally exaggerating in discussions where they repetatively use the words always and never?
Your comment about "unconscious men" could use clarification.
Train Yourself and your boys to be Men.
I don’t agree we have to treat men like children because they’re “unconscious.” I see that in the moment it is better to give them space to cool down because they won’t listen anyway and it’d only make it worse. But afterwards? Ain’t nothing wrong with saying you don’t appreciate silent treatment and you’d rather talk out your problems or at the very least you want him to let you know he needs space
All of these things DO NOT apply in Narcissists....
The silent treatment is extremely abusive and I will never tolerate it again.
Exaggerated words: 'Always' which may be replaced instead with 'Often': I personally know that every single human being is not Christ (the only being who is Perfect and loves humanity unconditionally). Taught in College during my years of attendance; Before you think about marriage these five areas are where you and your partner should have in common; 1) Faith 2) Politics 3) Education 4) Income 5) Hobbies.
I just have few questions?? How can I get in touch? Mail Id??
No sir that's fighting
I’m not having sex CLEARLY Idc about it
Why is always about the women changing what about the man who is a narcissist?
👍👍
🎉🎉🎉
Sounds like coddling an emotionally immature person. It's not a good strategy in my experience.
No sorry critism wrong or right !!!! Hey man u not know us women are always right listen toyour mother son, they have it right !!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Men that do not talk and they give silent treatment is very immature
If you talked without screaming he should not be silent
🤗
Ismael, you are so cute. If you shave your facial hair, you will be so handsome ! I love your videos, they are educating me; I was never taught any of this male knowledge in school.
😂 He looks good with the goatee and stache though...
Facial hair is whats more attractive tho lol atleast for us young girls
No, you’re fine just the way you are!! You don’t need to change anything! 😊❤
Somehow you do not convinced me with anything. Disasters
Why is it always about the women what about the man who is a narcissist?