These Mistakes Keep 99% of Women Still Single - Relationship Coach Reveals Secrets
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- Опубликовано: 3 июл 2024
- These Mistakes Keep 99% of Women Still Single - Relationship Coach Reveals Secrets
Are you wondering why you haven't found "the best one" yet?
Many women face challenges in their dating journeys. The good news is there are answers, and love is absolutely possible for you. I've compiled a list of seven reasons you might struggle to find a devoted man or husband.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Introduction
00:51 Why Am I Still Single Reason 01
02:18 Why Am I Still Single Reason 02
03:16 Why Am I Still Single Reason 03
04:08 Why Am I Still Single Reason 04
04:57 Why Am I Still Single Reason 05
05:46 Why Am I Still Single Reason 06
06:40 Why Am I Still Single Reason 07
07:46 Ending Speech
1. Unrealistic Expectations
We all have preferences, but a laundry list of non-negotiables might be blocking you from meeting compatible partners. Be open to meeting men who might surprise you, and remember, lasting love is built on shared values and connection, not just superficial traits.
2. Your Attitude
Holding onto bitterness or resentment from past relationships pushes potential partners away. Embrace a positive outlook and focus on attracting the kind of love you desire. Remember, the universe listens to your intentions!
3. Cut Off Your Negative Friends
Surround yourself with supportive and positive people who believe in love. Friends who constantly criticize men are not helping you find happiness.
4. Your Social Media
Your social media profile is your online first impression. Make sure it reflects the kind of partner you seek. Focus on showcasing your passions and positive energy.
5. Stop Trying to Be the Man
Relationships thrive when partners complement each other. Let men be men and allow them to take initiative.
6. Limited Exposure
Expand your social circle and put yourself out there! Join clubs, attend events, or try online dating responsibly. The more people you meet, the greater your chances of finding a connection.
7. Lack of Self Love
Confidence is attractive! Work on building your self-esteem and practice self-compassion. When you love yourself, others can truly love you too.
Being open, positive, and putting yourself out there increases your chances of finding the love you deserve.
Ismael Gomez III
I'm a Cuban - American Relationship Coach, Author, and Speaker.
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© Save The Messenger
KEYWORDS
still single, relationship coach, dating coach, why am i still single, relationships, dating advice, love advice, dating advice for women, relationship advice, relationship tips, relationship, relationship advice for women, best relationship advice, dating tips, why are you still single, relationship expert, reasons you're still single, men psychology in love, men psychology, male psychology, love psychology, psychology of men, man psychology in love, psychology of love,
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It means a lot to me to see you want to learn about these topics.
The notion of a flawless marriage or relationship is a myth. There's no set formula for success; what works for one couple may not work for another. Yet, I've discovered that there's always a way forward, even in the most challenging times. Five years ago, my wife and I encountered significant hurdles in our marriage that nearly led to divorce. Despite the adversity, we managed to weather the storm and emerge from it with our bond renewed and revitalized...
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I can't live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
It's always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing. Her name is monica Erlene mora...
This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.
You won't regret it
Thanks for sharing! What was the most challenging part for you?
My ex bf always got angry each time I told him about my stresses at work. He never wanted to listen to my problems. In fact, I started feeling guilty that I was the one complaining and bringing bad vibes to the relationship.
On the other hand, he spoke a great deal of his work life and home life and I listened. Always.
Ultimately he broke up.
Later in life, I told my guy friends about my toxic workplace and they have listened. Every time.
Took me a long time to realize that I want a partner who shares my troubles, and I should not have to be guilty about complaining stuff.
I was with someone like that. Greatest blessing in disguise when he ghosted me after 6 years. We didn't live together but visited each other regularly.
I appreciate you sharing. What was the turning point for you?
@@SaveTheMessenger Thanks, I like your videos. The turning point for me was my friends listening to my problems and offering solutions. They never criticized me for complaining, rather were happy to help.
It’s hard to get out there when you’re a shy introvert who has been badly bullied and mistreated for most of your life by people you trusted and loved.
“The man of your dreams might not come packaged as the man of your dreams.” Tough love. 💔
Indeed 🙌
For me it's not tough love-it's a common fucking sense. Are you perfect?-NO! Never hold the others to the standards you YOURSELF can't meet.
@@marijajanicijevic8211 no need to swear. Goodness gracious that’s very aggressive YouTubing to a total stranger.
I love the comment...let the man be a man...we need to appreciate our differences and let them show us who they really are!
I appreciate it. Thank you.
I have none of the above mindsets. But at my age (60+) there are few men available.
I agree, hard to find single men around our age, if they are it's generally for a good reason😣
@@dibrooks8313 Same. I'm 48 and too many men are still out here acting like they're 25. Most men simply aren't interested in anything real. They want company and sex on demand from various women at the same time. If they can talk a woman into cooking and cleaning for them, it's a bonus. SMDH at this point. 😒😒
Lol😅😅😅
I am almost 51 and married for almost 24 years and in long-term relationships before that. If something happens to my husband, I will be a 100% proud cat lady. I look a good deal younger, but feel much older. My 19 year old daughter and 22 year old son are in the dating trenches and I'm so happy I'm done with all of it.
Exactly! 👍. 🤗
Most! Men out our, r looking @ the younger women.
"Stop looking" was the best suggestion i ever heard.
Sometimes we block the flow of what can be by constantly looking.
I'm with you on that.
A good man to me as someone that is loyal honest family oriented Has good morals and values is loving caring devoted is not afraid to be vulnerable but strong when he needs to be strong and honest and trustworthy and faithful and walks with the lord
I’m on board.
A man who follows the LORD, with a lot of good character
Ismael, I personally do believe you are the best dating coach. I am 63 yrs old and have been trying online Christian dating sites for several months now. Lots of scammers out there, so you really need to watch for the red flags, and I’ve been ghosted by some men that I considered to be great guys. I take my time, and make sure that we are both on the same page with our faith and beliefs. I am taking a 2 hr flight this weekend to meet face to face with a man that I’ve been talking to for over 2 months now. So I just want to let us “mature” ladies know, that there are good men our age out there, that are looking for good women. Don’t give up, and most of all, don’t rush it. Be your authentic self; that is your natural magnet 💕
Thank you for the compliment and for sharing your story Arlene. Good luck on your date.
I will never go through this heartache again. At 60 and single now...I will stay this way.
I understand that so many women have unrealistic standards for men which harms both the genders, but I think that a woman should not give a man chance if she's not genuinely attracted to him only for the sake of "broadening her mind about her preferences" or just because "he's a good man".
That's why so many women cheat even in happy and healthy relationships.
That's why this mindset in choosing mate always doesn't work out well.
Attraction and desire is key to any long lasting relationship even more than integrity I believe.
Integrity in a man can be developed over time even if he's a Playboy, but if a woman does not develop any spark for the guy at first, chances are she will not develop it later.
I'm single because I make it clear from Day 1 I don't put up with BS.
The happiest periods in my life were when I was single. Then I’d get lonely, find a guy and be miserable again. Vicious circle. It’s pure male arrogance thinking we need men and we want to be “chosen”. When I was young I was “chosen” a lot but as I got older, I realized any man would be lucky to be chosen by me. I chose to stay single but still dating.
And I’ll add that I frequently used men for sex. They think it’s ok when they do it but when it’s done to them, their poor little feelings are hurt!
My husband is a good guy. Clicked out of curiosity 😁 good guys do exist! Been together 8 years, married for 7 years. Good guys do exist 💜
Thanks for sharing your experience. I hope other women here read it.
I love watching your videos! I am a follower from Instagram when you were pretty new. You are an angel in disguise! ❤ Thank you for existing. Thank you for explaining men.
Thank you kindly, you’re a blessing.
Can this old lady who has been happily married for 36 add my tuppence worth? Ok, no one is perfect including you so why should he be? Decide what things are most important to you and look for someone who genuinely feels the same. For instance, I love animals. I married a man who loves animals. I could not have married someone who did not. Marry someone you like, this is what lasts a lifetime. Sex is a trick, played by nature to keep the species going. There will be times when it is the last thing on your mind. If you have a solid friendship and communication you can get through these times. Remember when he is sick you will be the one holding the bucket. My husband has nursed me through 3 cancers because we love and respect each other as friends.
I've always said that each person (regardless of sex) should have three lists; an A-list, a B-list, and a C-list. The A-list is for characteristics you absolutely MUST have in a mate (and they shouldn't have much, if anything, to do with looks since those change over the years). Some A-list examples for me would be: Fundamental Christian (Jesus is his Savior), loves animals, wants to live in the country, has a job (blue or white collar doesn't matter as long as he isn't mooching off of others), has personal integrity/high moral values. The B-list can be extensive since this list is for hobbies/activities that you enjoy doing. There should be some overlap here, but never a complete matchup in everything. That would be boring. The C-list is for things you will not tolerate/accept in a relationship. Some of these things for me would be: Abusive to others and animals (doesn't matter how he treats you, if he is abusive eventually he will abuse you too), a cheater, impatient, a smoker (Yes, I know there are a lot of good men who smoke--I get it. However, I can't tolerate cigarette smoke, was around it too much in my youth.), addicted to drugs/alcohol (they will always be his primary love), a pedophile, etc. I think you get it. When I tell people to make these lists I get shocked looks. They tell me it sounds like a shopping list and to a certain extent, it is. You are looking (shopping) for a life-mate; next to God, the most important thing in the world. By writing down what you really want in a mate you have a much clearer idea of what to look for and you won't be wasting your time or his if he just isn't "the one." And that's a good reason to keep that A-list short and to the point.
You have become my favorite relationship coach because the way you deliver you work & research. It makes me write down or ponder on actionable steps for when I’m ready to get back out in the dating world.
Super grateful. Thank you
I feel accomplished. Thanks for the compliment Sarah.
You are such a wise man ...hopefully some women are listening...loving ourselves and being comfortable in our own skin goes a long way....
I can’t express my gratitude enough.
Woaw, You explained self Concept and law of assumption and also a lot of value here. You're amazing!
I appreciate you took the time to leave such a lovely comment.
Common sense goes a long way. Thank you .... and Nr. 3 definitely
Very helpful! Thank you. 😊❤
Thank you kindly! What do you think about this?
Facebook brought me here , Your my favorite coach now .😍 I'm subscribing!
Welcome aboard.
Thank you for sharing your opinions your expertise love it watching from Phils
I appreciate you.
Thank you so much 😊
Thank you! How do you feel about it?
New Subscriber here...Thank You for sharing..I'm really enjoying and LEARNING!,from your videos...Have a Blessed Sunday🙏
Much obliged, you’re so kind.
❤❤ about dating apps your absolutely correct..
I really enjoyed this ! As a woman that has been single for over 4 years now, it resonated with me. Something I saw the other day that I also have begun to think on, is that women ( I'm sure some men too ) tend to have a fantasy or imaginary relationship already in our mind. That relationship, even though it's not real, has unrealistic standards that any man we try to date will never live up to. I honestly think that the key to finding true love is just being kind, being present and consistent, communicating your needs clearly and having emotional intelligence. It will definitely help us all if we break up with our imaginary and unrealistic boyfriends so we can fall for the real ones !! Thank you for this video and I hope you help so many people self reflect and achieve their goals of finding someone to love.
Yes, I find many people have unrealistic standards and they would rather keep dreaming about their fantasy than having something real that may not check all the boxes for them.
You're already my favourite relationship coach, Ismael. I think that goes without saying. Thank you so much for another great video. I can relate the most with being "Miss Independent" and not having enough self love. But I've taken a break to work on myself. Please keep making such wonderful content. ❤
Wow, that’s fascinating! What advice would you give to someone in a similar situation?
@@SaveTheMessenger I think that being too independent often comes from fear of getting hurt and not being able to trust someone. In the context of romantic relationships, I'm saying I trust someone, but do I really trust him if I don't accept a simple offer such as a drive home? (Even though I know him for some time) This is interconnected with self love because I'm not allowing myself to experience something amazing by holding myself back. So, I would say to work on oneself, whatever that looks like for that individual, be open to help if they need it.
Thanks for your advice, its good to listen to objective advice, friends tend to tell you what they think you want to hear, I need to know where Im going wrong and try to change my mind set 🙏 mine is definately self love❤
I know exactly what you mean. Many friends don't want to hurt your feelings, so they don't give objective, straightforward advice.
I have had a lot of relationships end because a friend of the guy I was dating influenced him against me. Many reasons, jealousy, possessiveness etc
Sometimes men (narcissistic men) damage the relationships of other men and the woman loses
I appreciate you sharing that. How did it make you feel?
Well, prioritize integrity.
For sure.
Great Advice
Thanks a ton.
Like it, thank you
I’m grateful. What are your thoughts?
I need to go out now , Because I'm only stay on the room working all the time.😅
Omg ismael, I'm such an introvert and i can completely relate to point 6.. I've been searching for a partner for about 6 months and didn't find any yet bcz of limited to no social interaction.. by this time I'm kind of hopeless and thinking of ditching my search.. went to dating apps as well but didn't find anyone of my match.. what should i do?
I feel this so much. Aside from bars and clubs, I have no clue where to meet guys (especially safely since I don’t have a group of girl friends I can go with so I’d probably be going by myself). At a loss for where to even start
Do you have communities or meetups in your area? Where do you search for local events in your city?
@May-qb3vx
@mm62426
@@SaveTheMessenger Not really. I live in a small town
Me long distance relationship is boarder line Insanity!!! Don’t do it! Just have fun and you will me so many men!
Que bellooooo❤
Good
Lack of self love. By the time your in college, you've already met like 100 jerks. Man//child, not nice, rude, just wants you to boost their ego. That now at 22 your burnt. Burnt out of the negativity these guys have brought to your attention while your trying to be the loving, supportive girl. So you start to avoid. Your tired of being their mat to walk all over while they're figuring things out. So then you have to take somewhat of the position of a man because there is no man worthy of your time. And the guy always ends up angry at you because they are controlling and think they are the superior/boss in any situation. So here you are, what to do? Improve yourself, ignore the guys, and if one comes along he better bring his A game because your tired of wasting your time.
You only attract what you send out.
I am in my 40s now and honestly I have never met an a**hole. Men (and even most women) have treated me very respectful or they ignored me completely because I was not playing in their league. If you look at yourself as a feminine godess people will look at you like that, too.
Try to change your mindset and everything else around will change.
💯
Ismael is clever
He thought about things
I always truly prefer the truth and I think you pointed out a few traits of my personnality that is not working with men. I guess I have a lot to work on...😢
I appreciate you sharing that. How did it make you feel?
@@SaveTheMessenger Like I'm a failure and worthless in a relationship... Sad.
Is it wrong to have long distance relationship?? I have been through 2 relationships and both were online long distance relationship. Both of the relationships were good.
I watch your videos to get your perspective and see how well you understand this dating/courting/seduction/attraction game.
Here are some of my insights to add to yours
1) Most people are not mature, healed, marketable and balanced enough yet to be in a relationship. They barely know how to have a relationship with themselves. So forget being in a relationship with someone else.
2) you attract partners based on your vibration. If you are low vibe, you will attract another low vibe, low caliber partner because they are there to help you gain self awareness.
3) a majority of relationships are karmic, which means they are there to only teach you lessons. They are not meant to be forever.
4) successful relationships are not the ones that are the longest. Successful relationships are the ones that two souls come together and learned their lessons. I know couples that are together for 2 decades, pretend they are happy but they are not. They haven’t learned their soul lessons, so they are stuck with each other.
You all need to learn relationships from a spiritual perspective, things will start to make a lot more sense when you view it from that perspective.
Thanks for sharing these wonderful points. My plan is to slowly introduce more spirituality in my teachings, but first you have to capture the audience's attention with the basics, then you lead them deeper into the rabbit hole.
@@SaveTheMessenger Great approach as not everyone is into spirituality but before anything you do need to build that audience. You are an inspiration to many and may you have all success. I do look forward to the spirituality bits in the future when the time is right. 👍
much of your reasons are VERY true. hurtful but true. so what would you say to a woman who has been married AND divorced twice and now doesnt trust her own instincts when approached by any man?
Cats
Doesnt SLAP
But funny
I can check off all of the above except getting out of the house. I suppose I can walk around stores or belong to a volunteer committee. Especially since I work with all women. Any other ideas for listeners?
In order relationship to change, you need to change.
Thanks. What’s your take on the matter?
New subscriber here
Sincerely appreciate it. What's your opinion on this?
Exacly
Oh please. Who knows why men choose who they do. I’ve seen them commit to a toxic woman and hold on for his dear life while complaining the whole time. Stop stressing. Move on and quit worrying about the guy who isn’t into you.
Without a doubt.
I do what i want and ended uo with a bad man. Take someone’s thoughts with grain of salt but make sure it’s from happy married and not enemy. My bff was right about my ex!
Not! Trying 2 find a man: especially! @ my age.
#1; "friend's first". 👍. Anyway 🤗.
Also: the men my age: r checking out the younger women.
Don't! Need any drama. 😊
😂😅yes i am perfectionist, beautiful and rich man and polite
Oh dear me my dad's family all bald I love that look..I just want to find a humble honest man I don't care about the outside of anyone I love to write poetry and my latest one talks about that...I would love to have a "law of attraction man" in my life to enjoy whatever time I have left on this earth to share happiness with all our laughs I cant do number 6 Im an intravert...love this thank you as always Ismael
Thank you for sharing. What advice would you give to someone in a similar situation?
@@SaveTheMessenger well not sure if this is what you're asking..but here goes after 30 yr marriage now divorced not by choice.. I moved to a place near a few people and family I've known ..I'm not a drinker but to try to get more out of my intravert self I'd go with friends to local restaurant /bar and have a couple drinks because obviously made me more social but finally quit the drinks as just not me and now I have met others from going there as its a small town, all are very friendly..but just hoping I will figure out a way someday to meet someone as I am very nice to anyone I pass by or in a grocery store always smile and say hi as life is short, be kind to all..and of course keep following you who knows you might bring good luck my way...thank you Ismael for all you do
Hey, thanks for the video. However, out of curiosity why would you push her to be with a man who doesn't speak good English if communication is important to her? that seems like a solid standard to have.
Sometimes we have avoidant tendencies (like her case) and she was always looking for evidence of things that were missing, so she could walk away with an excuse.
❤❤
Du bist auch klasse 👿
When I was younger, I had a stereotype of the man I should be with. Now, almost all my peers are already married and it's hard to meet someone single who intrigues me.
I have an acquaintance whose only criteria were the man to be rich and not arrogant and things worked out great for her.
For me, all the men I'm interested in don't want a family and children. They believe that they can't be free if they have a wife and children. 🤷
Thanks for sharing. What was the most challenging part for you?
@@SaveTheMessenger I think I had another problem that may or may be not was related to this search for the perfect man.
When I was in my early teens, I was bullied by the boys at school (not based on gender, no fight). I hated going to school. For many years I rejected those who were interested in me, for many years I was afraid to show my feelings to those I liked. It wasn't until I got into the Academy and started meeting nice, smart people that I started to shake the fear and my own self-esteem started to improve.
I wouldn't say that I have completely overcome this fear, but it is almost completely overcome.
But....WHERE THEY ARE!!! 😭
I have to be attracted to them in some way too.
actually I'm only 15 and I'm not talking about this video specifically as I'm already young to say"why I can't find my dream guy"lol
But I really like ur channel I don't knoww how I didn't know about ur channel before ,keep going Ismael💗
You're 15???
Why? R u wasting your time? On the channel?
U! Don't! Need it.
Wake-up!!! Little girl!! 👎.👎👎👎👎👎
NoTimeForAnnoyingPeepsIDontTolerateAny1WhoDisrespectsMe
Social media is accurate. I'm looking for jobs and I scrubbed my stupid pictures from instagram and ones with soon to be ex husband!! 🎉🎉🎉 and then made it private. More mysterious! 😂
Always choose mystery 💯
@@SaveTheMessenger Thanks for replying to my comments! Other videos too ☺️
❤
I don’t believe that the universe is God, you lost me there but the rest of the tips are valid.
Men are like women ..... They pick based on looks. I married a 10 who all my girlfriend's dropped over and told me that I had hit the jackpot. But our personalities were very different. Second guy was a 10 ..... Women queuing up and telling me that I was so lucky ..... Actually, realised that I didn't like his personality and he had serious flaws. Stepped back for a couple of years to work out what I really wanted ...... Strong, intelligent, adventurous, fun ..... Realised I was looking for things which weren't physical. Decided to open up my dating. Married again at 46 ...... Never understood the concept of real life until I met him. We knew very quickly that we were right. He is very successful, kind, strong, protective, fun loving, a silver fox ...... And was being totally looked over because he is 5' 6" . Women are their own worse enemies ...
Those are such valuable insights. I hope other women get to learn from your experience. Thanks for sharing.
Lol, let me heal first
ThatsPals
I want a man it’s not that I need a man I want a man I want someone to share my life with to grow old with to have fun with to laugh with to cry with so I have a family with. My whole life since I was very young I have lived a very abusive bad life to where it was drilled in my head that men were bad and I don’t agree with that deep down inside I do not agree with that some of them all because I’ve had a couple bad relationships and it’s kept me single till I found the right one and I believe I have found the right one we’ve been together seven years and I have been conditioned to not need a man which is fine I’m very independent but I don’t want to be totally independent I would like to just sit back and be the woman and not be so Masculine my mother was a masculine woman very controlling very bad woman her attitude stunk and I don’t want to be that way because I don’t think a woman should be that way you should not control a man and a man should not control a woman you should be in equal so yes I would like the man to take care of me but I also want to take care of him by doing what I am supposed to do as the woman
Thanks for telling me about it. What was the biggest surprise you encountered?
Wise women do not wait for men to choose them, instead, they will choose the men they like!!
Easy said than done 😐
I couldn't have said it better.
Dont Care I have NoTimeToWaitSoManyOtherGuysWantMeI'mGettingMadLololAsTheyGettingJealousBeingPaleWithSoMany😀😀😀
If he loves you he will do anything to keep you bottom line. Give yourself a break.
Universe Demons are real.
Explain my uncle then.
What do you mean?
Hahaha.....
Unfortunately, too many women want men to support them and get them nice things. Women can go out to work and provide themselves with those things. Relationships should be 50/50 one way or another. I would just like to have someone I can talk with about everything and anything someone I can see myself having my meals with. Women want dream men, and that is not reality. Men are just as human as much as women are. Women have to unlearn the crap that was drilled in their minds and see reality. Prince charming isn't real. Some women act entitled to money that they didn't earn on their own.
If I make a man feel like a real man, like a hero, like a king and he makes me feel like a real woman, like a goddess that can trust him and his decisions, then this is exactly 50/50.
All in all, you want a women to be your unpaid therapist..
I like that analogy. Agreed.