Father Knows: Doing It For Yourself || Father Knows Something Podcast
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- Опубликовано: 10 апр 2023
- Welcome back to Father Knows Something! Real People. Real Stories. Real Dad advice with a dash of ADHD, and maybe a couple of millennials chiming in from time to time to add their takes.
This weeks episode has Jerry and Justin discussing write-ins involving people who are all on the edge of making a decision for themselves to better their life while also contemplating the effects it will have. From someone who is debating moving away from her mom and her mom's volatile boyfriend to someone who is ready to breakup with their girlfriend who claimed she is ready to propose. As always please leave your advice in the comments!
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I’ve watched every ep and JUST realized I wasn’t subscribed. Honestly thank you for the reminder cause y’all deserve the support!!
Same! Now subscribed!
Same! ❤
Y’all are awful 🤭 Jkjk
As soon as I find a channel I’m into I subscribe immediately, because my train of thought is “oh wow, I’d like to see more of this!” *taps subscribe*. Eh maybe that’s just me 🤷🏽♀️
I also like videos right away as well. I do it so I can keep track of a video I’ve already watched. If it’s not liked, that means I haven’t watched it yet. RUclips doesn’t always do a good job of telling me when I’ve seen a video(the red bar disappears), so I came up with the liking system to keep track of what videos I’ve watched. It’s a win win, helps me and the channel I’m watching lol
@@zaraheart nope not just you.. I do the exact same thing! I immediately subscribed to two hot takes and father knows something! Lol like within the first few minutes into an EP.
@@zaraheart i do the exact same thing with the likes omg! I’ll even unlike and then relike a video i rewatch just to put it at the top 😅
Watching both Justin and Jerry (and Uncle Jimmy? I think that’s his name from a previous episode) talk so calmly has been very healing for me. I have a lot of trauma with men due to ab**e from my father. It has helped so much seeing such kind and caring dudes, especially Jerry and Jimmy as both fatherly figures. I want to say thank you and I hope Jerry knows (and the other guys!) how important he is to those of us who experienced trauma, who are LGBT, and/or otherwise don’t have a positive male role model/father figure in our lives. It is extremely healing to see.
story 2: the fact mom is upset about 'saving face' and gramma knowing what's up and is NOT concerned about her horrible bf traumatizing the daughter tells everything you need to know
Story 2: Your mom is gaslighting you. She's being selfish and willing for your safety and mental health to be in jeopardy. Keep yourself safe. Your mom has to make her own choices just like you. I am so happy you have somewhere safe to live. Don't give that up for anyone.
I started listening to FKS not too long before my ex broke up with me. Somehow, all the episodes so far have been around the theme of heartbreaks, moving on, etc. and it makes me feel less alone in how I feel. I love hearing the advice shared because it’s helped me a lot
Good morning!
#4
I was adopted when I was 15 by an amazing family. My bio fam loved me but really struggled with having the tools needed to be good/healthy parents.
I cut my bio parents out and went to therapy and it helped me heal from a lot of my childhood trauma.
I have a 2 year old son now and they want to be a part of his life. We had a conversation and I set down all of my boundaries and expectations, and now they are amazing grandparents and some of my sons favorite people.
Cutting them out doesn’t have to be forever. Or it can be if that’s what’s best for personal growth.
🤗😭 I love this for you, your son, your parents, your bio parents. The more people that kid is surrounded with the better, but not if they aren't worth it. What a great outcome from one could have turned out bitter.
💛💚💛💚💛💚
For story no 4: the cutting out the mom. I hope the writer may see it. For me it is not my mom, but my dad. I haven't had a relationship with him for over 13 years. I wanted to tell him when I made the decision how shitty he was etc, but he never understood, always got into fights that I was the problem. My advice is, just do it, no point in explaining, just let her not contact you and block her attempts if she insists on reaching out from time to tume when it would look bad for her that you do not talk anymore. Also, when others ask or tell you you should give her another chance, just tell them your life is better without her and you are happier this way, smile and change the topic. Be consistent and you will realize after a year or so how true what you are saying is and stick to your decision. Even when you are angry and would love to hurt them for hurting you, they will never get it and you cannot hurt them with your words, just yourself. I wanted closure, but it is true tgat you are the only one who can give closure for yourself. Good luck!
Good night and good morning everyone ❤ love the new intro by the way!
Me too! it’s so cute
This is honestly an excellent format for people to fill in. Writing your story/problem out, ideal outcome, all that, it really makes you look at it more objectively even by yourself. I think the gf with the bf long distance kinda figured it out for herself by the time she made it to the "ideal outcome".
And for the first story: There is never shame in not getting back together later on. Your whole perspective on live can and will change. In the end he might just not be the right person. But only time can tell.
The second girl, you r incredible. So mature, and great judgement.
38:19 Damn Jerry, Mike Drop! 🎤 I love u sm!
I really needed to hear this episode, thank you dad and Justin ❤
Never been so early! Need to go to bed though, it’s 2AM! So I’m saving this for later today ❤️ Good night or morning to everyone!
I have to comment on story 4. My father is almost exactly like this mother, to a T. We have never had a good relationship, it was emotionally and mentally abusive for me as a child. Currently, I think I've had him cut out for about 3 years now. I sent him a text after an argument basically detailing how terrible he was, and said I would be blocking him. And i did. He has tried to add me on different social media since, but i keep declining. To this day, he continues to make me the bad guy to everyone who asks about me, which is fine. He can keep doing that. Be prepared for your mom to try to do the same things. Be prepared for her to manipulate others into thinking shes in the right. Be prepared for flying monkeys. And in my experience, anyone who tells me I should "try" to have a relationship with my father, I usually just say "nah" and move on.
This. I cut my mom out 10+ years ago and she’s gone as far as to make new social media profiles with different names and message my friends and other family online, as well as changing her phone number repeatedly to harass me after I blocked her. She can villainize me all she wants but I didn’t abuse myself for the first 20+ years of my life soooooo 😅
The end of this made me cry. Love this show so much
What a great surprise for my insomnia! Love the new intro music!
The intro!!!!!!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I just want to say thank you to all of you in FKS and THT❤ you guys never fail to make me feel better on a bad day and you guys give amazing advice! I love learning with all of you on how to better ourselves and we are learning better communication skills forsure haha😂
Story about having the best dad but crappy mom….
As someone who was treated the same by her mother and cut her off after over a decade of abuse I will say this, do what’s best for yourself and stop making her feel like she has the control over the situation to make you feel negatively. Now obviously if your family decides to continue to have a relationship with her that’s their decision and obviously you’ll have to see her at those times if you want to also be there but you need to set clear cut boundaries. And at the end of the day ignore her if she tries to instigate something. After I ended the relationship with my mom she kept texting and calling and trying to make me feel like a terrible person so I blocked her number and blocked her on social media. It’s so hard because every kid (especially daughter) wants a relationship with their mom but I can tell you this now my life is so much lighter and happier without her in it.
Love the new intro Jerry! 🤗
I wish my dad be more like u ...nobody tell him how to love so he never show me how to..that f up lot of relation and I dont know how to handle to handle lot of situation.please keep being u love u guys .xxx❤
I thought I was subscribed 🤣🤣🤣 I wasn’t but now I am
story 3 - ask yourself if the way you feel now is something you could do long-term, and ask yourself if it would ever be easier to leave. Both answers are probably no, make your exit plan.
Story 4: OP, if you’re reading this… do it, please. Do it now. I’ve got a similar relationship with my mother and I’ve let it drag me down into depression. For years and years. I’ve gone no contact now, at nearly 40, when I’m at a place in my life with little to no support system. I wish I’d done this 10, 15 years ago. Now I’m picking up the pieces of myself and trying to undo all the damage she did to my psyche… it’s a lot.
I wish you a healthy, fulfilling life away from this emotionally immature woman. All the best.
i related to this episode way more than i thought i would. wow! ❤😭
Story 5: From what I know it is mission impossible to get out of addiction without professionel guidance. If he is not willing to get help he is not willing to change and get better. You can only control you. So I agree: Get your girls and get out. The situation will not get better for him even if you stay.
loving the intro
The story with the fiancé addiction- unless he takes accountability for his own mental health and addiction he WILL relapse. He is putting it ALL on her right now.
I love you Jerry!!!!! 🫶🏼😘🫶🏼
The seatbelt cracks me up every time! 😂❤️
Story 3: Make firm plans to have a place to live. The breakup and manipulation could be intense.
The Parents are a reasonable short term alternative. If not an option. Maybe find a room to rent like their tenant does.
My reasoning: the description of girlfriend being overly attached and crying for days. This WILL happen. She may even threaten to harm herself. The girlfriend doesn’t have mental stability to treat Op with respect and care.
For the first one: hun, he is in his 20s. Maturity doesn’t start to hit till about maybe mid 30s, closer to 40. You got a long time to wait. If he’s worried about always being with the same person he met at 19, I think he honestly just wants to know what is out there. That doesn’t mean you aren’t a catch! But you will find someone better suited to you. Look at it as an opportunity or join the rest of us and try polyamory. 😅
Story #1: Listen to Space Cowboy by Kacey Musgraves. Feel empowered.
Take it from me story 4 OP with the troubled mother relationship: Do your own thing. You only have one life and keeping that negativity in your life will drain you. I know because I have a mother that EVERYONE knows is a tornado of drama. She's a sociopathic narcissist and it's either her way or the high way, always.
Is there a subreddit for father knows something?
Are you guys able to add time stamps as well?
To OP #4 about cutting off mom: I actually think it'll be harder to hold boundaries with friends & family who stay in touch with her, rather than holding boundaries with mom herself. You could do the gray-rock slow-fade method and slowly cut off contact with her, or you could go cold turkey... I don't think that matters so much. But you should prepare scripts for the family members who try to guilt you into talking to her again.
"I'm not talking about this."
"If you keep pressing this issue, I'm going to leave/hang up."
"I don't need you to understand, I just need you to respect my decision and stop pressing the issue."
"I will reach out to her when I'm ready." (Which you know will be never, but they don't need to know that.)
"These are the consequences of her own actions."
As for any new acquaintances in your life, it might be easier to say that your mom passed away or "is no longer with us." Obviously don't keep it a secret from any future romantic partners, but coworkers etc don't need to form opinions about your situation.
Regarding her as deceased may also help you process your own feelings & grief about the situation.
Where is the google doc for updates?
I can’t find it either!
I wish people would write updates in the comments, if they want to share. And you guys would pin those.
I think the first story, the guy wants to keep her around. Keep her waiting for him. That's why he doesn't want a breakup, just a break. So he can do whatever he wants guilt-free and she'll be waiting for him and she likely won't see anyone else during that time because it's not technically a breakup.
She needs to break up with him the way Jerry said.
I love y’all so much but can we boycott better help!? The controversy surrounding that app is insane
Yeah I hate to see any of my favourite creators promoting better help 😖
First story- that’s code word for, do you give me permission to sleep with this person? To bad he couldn’t just be honest, would save her a lot of trouble.
Holly is out in the world. In fact Holly was partying all night at the club with her doggy friends 😝
Is it just me or the only one that ever seems excited for these eps is Jerry? I feel like he gives his full energy but Justin/Morgan never seem into it idk 😭
I see it!
@@gracekavanah9331 thanks I thought I was crazy
I think Justin is just such a chill guy and Jerry is so animated so they bring different energie
I think it's just because Morgan and Justin have been doing this a while now and Father Knows Best is still quite new for Jerry so he's still excited. He's also quite a bubbly guy, the dynamics are the same on THT
Valerie, Morgan and Justin read, categorize, and then select all the stories for the reads.. so by the time they read me the story, they know what’s coming and I am hearing it for the first time so my reactions are real time. Trust me they’re into this or they wouldn’t be doing it it’s a lot of work I would never believe the work that goes into the show but I witness it every week and those two people, along with all you listeners are the reason… and for that I thank all of us for making this show possible that we can be out there to change all of our lives for the better.. most important thing about life is growth. It’s tough it’s painful but it’s healthy. Dad
I'm really disappointed to see you support better help... so much controversy and false advertising allowed by BH because it helps them make more money. I'd research this sponsor before agreeing to support them again
Holly hasn’t been on in way too long
Her mommy was going through withdrawals….We must share, she gets alot and gives a lot of LOVE
The intro is everything 👏🏻👏🏻 ok I like it, Picasso 🤌