Father Knows: Back To School
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- Опубликовано: 7 сен 2024
- Welcome back to Father Knows Something! Real People. Real Stories. Real Dad advice with a dash of ADHD, and maybe a couple of millennials chiming in from time to time to add their takes.
This episode features write-ins that all deal with different aspects of going back to school. Whether that means going to school, or deciding if its best not to... These are some "seat-belt" stories as dad would say, so we could really use all your help giving these listeners the best advice possible.
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For the first story, it sounds like her parents let her got to school which I'm assuming is a university since she's 22. She should try and see what financial or crisis help her university has available and make an appointment to speak with someone on a day she has classes, so her parents will not suspect anything. The university might also be able to point her to other resources/support networks
ah this is a great advice! Maybe search for academic opportunities outside the country that have the option to work long term. You mentioned support networks, maybe reddit is a good place to find support groups of people who have found migration opportunities.
the first ones as simple as they will never let her leave ever she will get married off once done with college. if she doesn’t make the decision to leave she never will. He’s bang on the nail “mentally hostage” have a plan be prepared when/if you leave. IF YOU REALLY WANT TO YOU CAN
My daughter woke me up. I got excited to see yall posted. I'm scared to blink. One day I will listen to my husband talk about our little boy and baby girl the same way you talk about yours. It's so amazing to see a good dad. It's a rarity, Morgan is so lucky! Thank you for keeping expectations high for dads.
I don't comment alot of videos but after listening to the podcast I wanted to chime in on the sorority story. I was in a very well respected sorority in a southern school, so I completely understand the pressure of joining Greek life because if you didn't it was looked down upon and i was told that was the only way to make friends. I ended up leaving my sorority halfway through my sophomore year, and it was the best decision I made! No one was overtly cruel but I didn't feel like I belonged and I didn't experience the "sisterhood" that so many other women felt. I dreaded going to the events and chapter meetings bc I felt so uncomfortable. So my unsolicited advice is don't stay bc you feel you "should". If its really toxic and you're unhappy, there's no shame in recognizing that this sorority no longer fits your lifestyle or values. I met my favorite people outside of the sorority, and I am so happy I took that leap. Definitely a hard decision and I wish you the best! You got this!
As a first generation student from immigrant parents who now holds an MBA, I think the price of college is a scam, not college itself. To you Morgan it might seem like a lot of it was a bunch of fluff and I’m glad that your background and upbringing allowed for those classes to seem very common sense. From the perspective of a minority, college helped me build the skills and trained my brain to think in ways only school may offer and to prepare you for the workplace.
Thank you for sharing your experience
I love that Jerry knows how important Holly is to the viewers well-being
At almost 30 I deceided to go back to school to get my BSN. I don't think a lot of prople appreciate education right out of high school. If I went right out of high school I would have not put in any work and hated it. I also know a lot of people who did go right out of high school and have a ton of debt and don't use their degree. I didn't want to do that either. After starting my family and my kids are in school I decided I would go back to future my education and help my family and those in my community. I appreciate the time I had between high school and college and now I love to learn. I don't regret not going right of school and I am ready to go back now that I sure of what I want to do.
I was in a sorority. They changed the GPA requirements so I ended up quitting because I wasn’t going to meet the new requirement and most of them stopped talking to me at first and then they all stopped talking to me. I appreciate that it helped me come out of my shell and I met my best friend of almost 10 years through it but once you start struggling grades wise they just kinda stop putting any effort into you.
Jerry I hope you see this, don’t ever feel bad for not getting a traditional education. You have emotional intelligence beyond what most people have, honestly in today’s world being booksmart and traditionally “intelligent” is overrated. We need more people that are emotionally intelligent, the problem is that our society doesn’t value that to the degree it should be valued. Of course there’s value in having an education to work the system but the system is inherently flawed and made out of greed so does one even want to work the system or leave it all behind and create a new one? And that is something I believe you’re a big part of, creating a new system that values personal growth, empathy, connection, respect, love and communication. A system in which human connection is first and everything else second. I hope you can see that and take to heart the importance of what you’re bringing to the world!
Part of the reason I got hooked by THT was because Morgan talked about her experience as an OT. Learning all that stuff about so many different kinds of people gives you a solid perspective on the world. You know that lady's got a great head on her shoulders. Good Job, Jerry, you made a good one. I've got a 9 month old. If I can do half as well for him, he will have a good life. That's all I want in the world.
Finishing up rearranging our bedroom. Perfect time! Thanks❤️
This is my first comment ever but I sort of felt like I have to share what I think.
I am not sure if you're a Muslim, tho from the way your story reads it sounds like you are and you're living in a conservative muslim country. If I'm wrong and you're reading this, feel free to ignore this comment, but if I'm right, here's my take.
You've mentioned your parents are very religious people, though they often put culture above religion and I relate cuz that happens so often in Muslim families. I have had a similar experience but also a somewhat different one, and many of my friends have lived through what you are rn. My take is that try to sit down with your family and talk act your concerns with them from a religious pov. Since they are religious, they'll be more inclined to listen to what you have to say if you use some Hadiths or ayahs to support your cause. In no way in our religion, again, if you're muslim, supports what they're doing from the abuse to the controlling and I bet you could find verses to help your case, and although they may not listen to you at the beginning and try misquoting or using texts out of context, please don't be discouraged, because if you don't approach them in some way this will continue until you're married.
Another thing is that I would urge you to consider what you are willing and unwilling to do. Are you prepared to leave your parents for a while and pursue your dreams in hopes that one day they'll forgive and understand you? Or are you prepared to continue to live the way you are now and not be taken seriously or be living freely unless you're married? Do you care or not act what they think of you or your relationship with them? and so on.
Once you know how far you can go you will get an idea of what you want to do next.
I know some family/friends who did not leave but made sure to just sleep at home and not do anything else (ie. not really engage with their parents.). It was hard of course but they tried to establish themselves from their own home, get a job despite their parent's refusal, get friends to help them get their license, etc, and slowly their parents began to understand their mistakes and realize their child isn't't a child anymore and their rules is harming their relationship. I also know other who left and are happy and who left and regret it. There's an example for every situation, it can go either way for you, but it all comes down to you and how much you want your parents in your life and how much you value your religion.
If you're a muslim and from a muslim country I know it's not as easy to just pack your bags and leave, both legally and religiously, I am not sure how strict your parents are so I don't know how dangerous it would be for you, so my best advice is have a sit down and continue to. One thing I always believed was that as long as you lived under your parents roof, you would have to live by their rules as well no matter how much you dislike them, and the only 2 ways you could change that and live how you like is by speaking with them or by leaving.
Love this and what you guys do! You make a difference in these peoples lives!
Oh my gosh I never expected a creator like! 😭🥰
Woah Morgan! Don't come after my knitting! 😂
jerry - thanks for being my stand in dad since mine is passed on. i’ve loved your guidance and wisdom. thank you for sharing. 💛✨
Thant you !!!!xo
Listening to this after getting home from my second day of college! Thank you for giving me something to listen to while I finish up my online class :)
So early! Good evening everyone! I hope everyone has an amazing week 💖
I know I’m late to this party, but I have sooooooo many thoughts on the college discussion as a grad student and first year writing instructor. First, while I think “Writing 101” is helpful, a lot of people think so for the wrong reasons. Colleges set up first year writing programs with the intention of teaching you how to write in college which is just not possible. You learn how to write based on context and it will change within discipline. I think we discuss rhetorical thinking and considerations that are helpful in every writing situation. Also, I think there are colleges that are not liberal arts colleges and don’t require the “fluff” you mention (see open curriculum colleges, although I know these are not accessible for everyone either!). I agree with Jerry and some other commenters though that even the classes you don’t think you’ll use, you get out of it what you put into it. But if that’s not for you and you need college for your career, look into non-liberal arts colleges! There are definitely so many flaws in the system, just trying to offer some additional perspective! Love this show and THT!
Early as well I’m excited to watch this episode and today would love to some day share a story myself !
Can’t get enough of you guys 🥰
just to correct you Morgan college has never been completely free in the states, California has free tuition for in state students til the 70's, Florida had it for instate students in like 1905-06, there are multiple countries with free tuition though.
Lots of minorities in said states
Love this! You guys are so great :)
The first story: sounds familiar to Rahaf Mohammed. A Saudi Arabian girl who sought asylum in Canada. Her book is called Rebel. Details in OP’s letter mirror this teen’s experience with her family.
For the first story, it almost sounds like she’s a kind-napped child who’s “family” doesn’t want the truth to come out.
I thought that, until they mentioned cultural restrictions.
OMG I THOUGHT THE SAME THING!!!!!! And “cultural restrictions” might just be a lame excuse tbh
living in the roaring 20s, well are living in the not so roaring 20s now :).
To the second story, I think you would need to come up with a plan and lay down the details while talking to your parents. Try to make them see that you have a plan, a solid plan. Maybe it would help them see that you aren't being naive about this and that you have thought this through.
They want what is best for you, but I don't think anyone should be forced to go to college unless they have a goal. It is so expensive and just doing it for the sake of your parents wishes is a waste of resources. My husband and sister are getting their degrees later in life but because they know exactly qhat they want beyond the degree, they have a drive I don't see in most people that go straight to college after highschool
The second ad is with Matt? How are your children? 🥺
The first story is difficult since she doesn`t mention which country she lives in and if them having a different religion is an issue there. At least they let her go to school so maybe when she´s done she can start work and make her own money and leave.
I had my baby on labor day last year, Jerry.
Hi Jerry and Justin
Justin sounds so flat when he says I'm leaving 🙂
Story 1: Ummmmm this might be reaching but as someone who listens to too many true crime stories, it almost sounds like her “parents” kidnapped her when she was too young to remember and is secretly keeping/hiding her from her true parents…. And the “religion” reasons are just an excuse. Idk… am I crazy?!