MY WHITE DAD DID NOT RAISE ME TO BE BLACK
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- Опубликовано: 11 май 2024
- Step into an enlightening episode of AdoptedGals as we welcome Julie from Atlanta to our conversation with Hawa and Emily. Together, they share their unique perspectives and experiences of growing up adopted by white families. Join us as Julie offers insights into her journey, reflecting on the challenges and triumphs she has encountered along the way.
In this candid discussion, Julie, Hawa, and Emily delve into the complexities of transracial adoption, discussing the nuances of identity, belonging, and cultural heritage. They explore the intricacies of navigating two worlds and the impact it has had on their sense of self.
Through Julie's story and the shared experiences of Hawa and Emily, we gain a deeper understanding of the joys and struggles that come with being adopted into a family of a different race. Together, they reflect on their individual paths and contemplate what it means to embrace their identities fully.
Tune in as we honor Julie's perspective and celebrate the resilience of adoptees everywhere, recognizing the strength it takes to navigate the complexities of adoption and identity.
When her dad made the comment about not raising her to be black. I got the same comment. Unfortunately it was micro aggressions like these that made it hard to feel safe even at home. I'd get comments like "Is that a black thing?" A lot. They don't realize that you can't raise us to be white because wherever we go, especially in America, we are black, no matter how articulately we speak we're still black. And will be treated accordingly a lot of the time. On the flip side, in the black community most of the time they don't want to get to know me cause I'm not "black enough." Luckily I do have a diverse loving tribe. All the best to you ladies, and everyone here. ❤
Omg yes! I was always so scared to do things I enjoyed because I thought my family would point me out and look at me weird and ask if that's one of those black things I like to do 😂
Are you insinuating that black people are not articulate? I hope you fully understand what you meant by articulate.
@@deblessedone1735 No not at all. In my case, in order to minimize the ignorance, mocking or aggression from my family, and their friends. I had to speak in a way that was proper or acceptable to them. Not with any kind of accent or slang. Some people would call that articulate. Where I lived was predominantly Caucasian. All I meant was, in my experience and with other black people I've seen. We still get followed in the store, harassed by police, and made to feel less than, no matter how we speak or carry ourselves.
The nuisance is you are “ black “ in race, you are not African American black in ethnicity. You’re a different culture. It’s not about being “ black enough “. You’re not the same culture as I am. If I went to Africa I wouldn’t automatically fit in because my skin is the same color or my hair is the same texture. Nor would I say I don’t fit in because “ I’m not black enough. That flippant dismissive comment is slightly offensive.
I think he meant “ black “ as in didn’t raise you you to be Ghetto. Clearly said it the wrong way.
I absolutely ❤ this conversation!
I'm a 62-year-old blk woman, raised by her blk biological parents, but in an all-whte community in a practically all-whte state. Believe it or not, I went through an identity crisis as well, and experienced some real "culture shock" in college, when I was around other blk people on a daily basis for the first time in my life.
My father never ever had a discussion with me and my sisters about what it was to be blk in America. It was only my mom that exposed me and my sisters to some blk culture.
Wow that’s a new perspective we didn’t think about. Thanks for sharing 😊
I'm black, raised by my biological parents in a diverse, but majority white, community. My parents' friendship groups were also diverse, and not predominantly black. I found Hollywood's representation of "black culture" during my childhood to be too narrow: shows like Good Times and What's Happening!! did not reflect my own black experience. Then came the 1980's with with The Cosby Show, and for the first time I felt like I was seeing diversity WITHIN the black community being reflected. Sadly, we had backlash from people who didn't appreciate the broadening of black representation, and only saw how The Cosby Show didn't reflect them...
There are ways I will always bond with black people over shared issues, but I also recognize that being a minority means that fewer people will just "get" me. The more different they perceive me to be, the harder I will have to work to find common ground, so I do work to some extent to prove to non-black people that I am like them. Fair or not, humans are naturally selfish, and we seek our own comfort. It's in my best interest to put other people at ease if I want relationships with them. Is it "fair" for me to have to work harder? Of course not, but most people don't reach beyond their own comfort level unless it's to their own advantage or unless the true love of God is in them. I find black women to be no different that way, however, lol, and n a group of black women I get less nuanced rejection...
Great conversation, ladies. I'm black and raised by my biological black parents. I'm the youngest of 15 children, and my parents had me at 40 (mother) and 47 (father). I didn't like having older parents growing up, and now I'm so thankful for that 🙏🏿❤
It makes me wonder if there was some degree of self-hate, especially with your dad. Sometimes, one can find oneself in a situation where you're surrounded by whiteness (been there many times as an anesthesiologist), but your home shouldn't be devoid of your culture.
My black Jamaican American parents refused to acknowledge, counsel, or to help us understand occasional racism in our nearly all white communities. So it's not just white adoptive parents; black parents can ignore the challenges we face, too.
Where they came from they didn't live that experience. It would have been new to them too.
What a great conversation ladies. I have some family friends with adoptive black children (now teens/ young adults). Unfortunately I see the similarities in stories that you ladies share. It breaks my heart. I see the lack of the parents trying to immerse themselves into their children’s culture and to understand who they are. Instead I see them doing the exact opposite, especially now that they are old enough to date (the parents really don’t want the kids dating brown/ black people). It’s very upsetting. I am not adopted, nor am I black. However, I am Latina with brown skin who grew up in a white neighborhood, had all white friends. My mom is white. Something that I still appreciate TO THIS DAY, is how my mom uplifted me to feel proud about my brown skin. She knew I’d grow up in a neighborhood that is white. On the topic of hair, I used to get teased for my sideburns - my mom would tell me how lucky I was to have gorgeous black dark hair- some girls have to dye it to get that look. She just always had something to say that would uplift me. I knew I was different but didn’t feel ashamed about it. I think that’s just what it comes down to. Biological or adoptive…these are your kids who are part of your family!!!…take the time to understand them. ❤
Wowww that's so sad they have to experience that. Your mom sounds like she did a wonderful job guiding you in being proud of your identity and the parts of you that are different then hers!
Not sure how or why the algorithm placed this video on my feed, but I’m glad it did. I’m enjoying this conversation. Very interesting, enlightening.
Same here!
This conversation is so needed. My mom was biracial and her father was white. She never knew her father and was never told. She died never knowing and we have no idea who he was or that side of the family. I have white fam out there who have no idea I am alive. Thanks for this video and all the comments.
I am 55 and do not go there on this issue. Much needed. ❤
Have you ever had an intimate conversation with your mom about this? My first question would be under what condition were you conceived? Are you the product of a loving relationship, or a one-night stand? Also, 55 years ago, interracial relationships were not encouraged. Maybe your father's family rejected you and your mother. If she is still alive, please have this conversation with your mother. It will be difficult, but you deserve to have the answers.
I'm sorry. I totally misread your comment. I'm sorry your mom is no longer available in order for you to have this conversation. Things were even worse for your grandparents' generation when it comes to race relations.
This video was so refreshing. As a black American woman growing up in a black neighborhood, but all of the programs I was in was a white space or where I was the minority, it was always uncomfortable having to cater to white people's feeling or make them feel safe. That left me always having to perform so they didnt feel threatened. Even now i have to catch myself when I have to.
As I read and encounter more adopted transracial or biracial children and hearing their stories, more of the dismissal of one part of the children's race or being raised as a specific race not their own is becoming apparent. Thank you so much for this channel. I learned so much as well as related to some of what you were talking about.
Wow! I was adopted at 4 yo by a white family. Thank you so much for this podcast. Been searching social media for groups like this. ❤
Thank you so much and welcome to our channel!! Hopefully one day we will hear your story 🤞🏾
I just came across your channel and this is an amazing conversation. As a counselor, it provides me with the insight to work with clients who’ve had your experience. Thank you so much.
@@kellythecounselor ❤️
As an adopted person, I was told, ‘we wanted you to be what you were brought up to be not what you were born’. Meaning shun the black side of who I am - however, how is that even possible?? Everyone saw/ sees me as biracial and actually they see the black part of me primarily when they look at me. Thankfully my strong willed mind at that time was not about to accept that. I did love my adopted parents but it was a difficult road mainly bc of their not valuing my true racial identity. I believe my mum grew to understand that she was wrong for doing that. Not so sure about my dad in the end. However, regardless of it all I’m thankful for the good parts and the blessings I received out of being with them. At least I didn’t get bounced around foster homes.
The only reason I’m sharing is so that people understand that adopting a black child should never involve even the slightest conveyance of shaming their racial identity.
Thank you for sharing Faith. I’m sorry you felt like you had to forget your black side. It’s a part of who you are and it’s impossible to erase.❤️
@@AdoptedGals hi. I never felt I had to forget my black side. It was to that it was sad for me to know when growing up that my adopted parents did not accept or celebrate the black side of my racial genetic make up/ the reality that I saw myself as black because this is primarily how the world around me saw/ sees me. I was and am happy with being biracial. I never felt I needed to pretend I was anything else.
@@faithhope6770 okay I misunderstood. My apologies. At the end of the day as long as you except yourself, that’s all we truly care about on this channel❤️
I love this comment 💯
I'm glad y'all created this channel. This is an important conversation to have that's not talked about enough. Thank you
Thank you! Welcome to our channel 🎉
Kushe! I'm not adopted. This video's title caught my attention so I clicked. Julie's story is interesting, so thanks for sharing. Also, I have to add that I'm always interested in what my fellow Sierra Leoneans are doing. The topics raised in this discussion are so important. So much of what was discussed is relatable, especially when we talk about moving in white spaces. To Hawa and Fatmata, keep up the good work! Subscribed!
I'm watching you 3 beautiful, Intelligent black women for the first time. Listening to your stories learning and understanding your lives. Those Adopted parents will never truly understand us as a people. You have learned their ways of being an living.But you realize who you are, and their way don't fit in who you truly are.😊
What a wonderful conversation. I didn’t realize that there were so many differences between us. I had a couple of my own, being raised in America. Thank you for sharing!
Racism is about power/superiority..it is about what group is deserving of what resources based on skin color. Racism= economics. And not about liking or loving someone. What confuses people is they confuse racism for bigotry. So, yes, someone who transracially adopts is most likely not a bigot, but that does not mean they aren't racist because they may believe that their " group" there is more deserving of things based on skin color thus why they may believe in racial stereotypes. Racial stereotypes tend to degrade people and that is the point of it.
Thank you all for sharing your story.❤
My adoptive parents are white and I was raised in Brooklyn, NY in the 1980's. My liberal Jewish parents had a problem with most of my friends being Black the I got to high school yet they sent me to Hebrew school to learn to be Jewish! Surely being raised by white parents in Minnesota is difficult but don't think that being in a more diverse area necessarily yields a better experience at least within the family dynamic. It is the intentionality of the parents to raise trans-racial adoptees to be proud of who they are, that matters.
Not sending you to Hebrew school 🤦🏾♀️. Do you think they were subconsciously (or consciously) trying to erase your blackness?
@@rebekahkingbello9560so a Nigerian American adopts a white or Chinese kid and teaches them his local language and cuisine is trying to erase their white or Chinese ness. What kinda of logic is that ?
@@danielakalamudo4360Where are you from?
@@danielakalamudo4360Religion vs culture.
@@danielakalamudo4360a Nigerian American parents not being happy that their Chinese child has mainly Chinese friends is the problem. But it seemed like you glossed over that part.
I almost feel guilty being born and raised in Jamaica. Some people in this country are really weird, it’s just sad.
yeh weird people all over the world so i get it
Great insights ladies, thank you all for enlightening us. As a Black woman raised in California the only thing I could really identify with was having a California “accent”, this apparently meaning white oriented speech. Not only me, the women I was raised with, we were in a community with other Black children but our middle and high schools we were the minority, Mexican, Japanese, Chinese children, so we definitely picked up the speech “isms” of other cultures and retained them into adulthood. There is an expectation that Black women must have some vestiges of a southern accent, as well as other quirks like sudden loud outbursts, head and eye rolls, you get it. So absent those things, you are trying to be white, even if the first white person you really knew was as a young adult. Actually there is more, but wanted to chime in because you all are providing much needed knowledge and perhaps changing the lives of children today.
This was so interesting. Thank you for the insight.
You are not supposed to be either, you’re supposed to be human. People need to learn the difference if we understand that there will be far less racism in this world. Let us love ourselves and each other for being simple human not the colour of our skin.
What an important conversation to have. There is a very popular white family on social media with an adopted Black son. The father just made a video declaring that he is not raising his son to be a Black man. The video made my skin itch because of the very points made by you and your guest.
Just found your channel. I am loving the extra conversations in the comments. As an aunt to an interracial adoptee who is 2 yrs old I am finding this conversation so important! My niece’s story is unique (like everyone’s) she will grow up know some of her birth family and I hope that will be very integral to her well being and identity as she grows up.
I’m white and also have told my black husband that he will be a very important person to our niece as well, he said it was different cuz he’s a man but I still think it will be a positive relationship in regards to her identity as a black woman to not be the only black person in the family whether and I hope they are close. Does being an extended family member matter in this case? Let me know what y’all think.
Welcome to our channel!
That's wonderful that your niece will have at least one other person they may be able to connect with.
As long as they have some sort of mentor figure in their lives when life starts to get rough and they start to struggle navigating their identity and esteem in relation to their adoption and racial experience.
It's important for all family if possible to be supportive and good role models, extended or not. It takes a village
Great video ladies!!!
These are important conversations!
I'm not adopted.
I'm biracial, raised by my white/Jewish mom, with my 2 sisters and one brother and I'm the only black child.
Can relate to a lot of what's being discussed!
Very interesting conversation. I'm glad to hear the discussion. This is where education starts. I was raised by my black mother, but we lived in a white neighborhood because my mother wanted us to have a great education.
I can relate to a lot of what you were talking about. Always being the only black kid in my class or in the group. And learning things like code switching, or reading a room, etc. There were so many things that my white friends didn't understand, and there was nothing more insulting than to have someone tell you to get over it, or that you're making too much of nothing.
Hats off to you ladies for finding your voice and your community. The most important thing is to have people in your life where you can be your true self, whatever that may be, and you don't have to change or hide who you are to be accepted. ❤👍🏽
This popped up on my feed, and I find it so interesting. I'm a Haitian-American woman who was raised to be fiercely proud of her heritage. I feel so sad because you were robbed of who you truly are. I always felt that Black children shouldn't be adopted by non-Black people, you just affirmed it. Even the ones who are not blatant racists with the Savior complex, still don't or can't get it right.
I pray that you ladies have gotten the necessary therapy to help you understand the trauma you've endured and "liberate" you completely. It's amazing how much negativity regarding Blackness and who you are that you may have subconsciously absorbed. These need to be brought to the forefront and dealt with so that your children, if you choose to have them, won't be affected by it. For example, what does it mean to be "The whitest Black girl...?"
Thanks for sharing your story and, also, for this channel. Invaluable for white parents (like me) raising Black children. Such wonderful insights. Appreciate your work. ❤
Glad we were able to reach you. This channel was specifically made for the adoptee and parent ❤️
This is such an eye opening video. I am in a biracial relationshio with kids and i think a lot of this applies to our children as well even being a black woman myself. I understand what you say about the white superiority culture and trying to make them live up to those standards....so much more to comment which ill do later
Excellent discussion!
Thanks for sharing your stories lovely ladies!
Thank you! Welcome to our community 🤠
I love this discussion!
Thank you 😊 feel free to watch our other videos.
The origin of "Black" culture in America ruclips.net/video/FT4NQ9D0M6w/видео.htmlsi=B8FrZ8Zt1fSt5ZDp
Read
"Black Rednecks and White Liberals" by Thomas Sowell
"Uncivil War" by Taleeb Starkes
Ladies, you are all so beautiful, intelligent and very well spoken. You all were able to help us make sense of these experiences. Great job! You got a new subscriber! Love you all.
I will not fault any parent that is fortunate to raise a child of different race. When you are raising a child you are raising a child with naivete and emotion that you are raising your child. In most cases the society will define the child identity. The society will define and categorized the child beyond your control. The society in most cases will pigeon hold the child regardless of the way you see yourself. The society are the culprit of the identity crisis that engulf the child as the child goes through life.
Thank you for sharing
I am from Cameroon and I wonder what part of Cameroon Julie was adopted from. She is beautiful and seems well adjusted in spite of her adoption situation. Adoption is great!
Sending you all ❤ and healing.
To them "Black" means "all the negative stereotypes I believe about Black People that I am most familiar with". In this case, it meant Black Americans.
You are right. And guess what happens when these black kids learn and start to see themselves in their own people and become confident in their black identity? .....the adoptive parents usually no longer want to have a relationship with these kids because of their ignorance, lack of education and also distaste for the fact that the child no longer sees white people as "saviors" or superior to their black culture.
@@AdoptedGals that's just so awful.
The origin of "Black" culture in America ruclips.net/video/FT4NQ9D0M6w/видео.htmlsi=B8FrZ8Zt1fSt5ZDp
Read
"Black Rednecks and White Liberals" by Thomas Sowell
"Uncivil War" by Taleeb Starkes
You don’t understand what’s happening when you’re a child growing up. Which can be a blessing bc you don’t get all the adult burden when you can’t handle it. It’s ok to be realizing it in your later 20s because now you have the adult understanding and independence to figure things out.
These some damn pretty women. Hawa literally looks like an art piece. Gorgeous
Thanks for teaching me something ❤
This is such a fascinating conversation. Can I ask are you able to have honest conversations with your adopting families about this? Or do they get offended if this topic comes up? Or is it a case of let's bury our head in the sand type of thing?
Hawa’s family is more open-minded with conversations like this. However, my family and I don’t have a relationship anymore due to the lack of understanding when it comes to these conversations. it really depends on the family.
We also have done videos where we discuss the fact that there is a alot of guilt tripping that occurs when adoptive kids want to have any criticism of their adoption, especially when it comes to race.
@@AdoptedGalshow about been greatful for what they did for you
The origin of "Black" culture in America ruclips.net/video/FT4NQ9D0M6w/видео.htmlsi=B8FrZ8Zt1fSt5ZDp
Read
"Black Rednecks and White Liberals" by Thomas Sowell
"Uncivil War" by Taleeb Starkes
Learned a lot
White Gunkle here to 2 Afro women. So glad we were I Bay Area but always wanted a Afro auntie for them. Policy and programs needed to include connections the child's community and guidance for adoptive parents as child goes thru stages 😘
I love you girls. This is very interesting.
I learned from tiktok that it's not good to directly adopt a child, but it's best to be the guardian of the child.
That’s interesting. Do you remember the creators name? We would love to hear their perspective😊
@@AdoptedGals mamathaicha is ger name 😊
@@sonderexpeditions thank you 🙏🏾
That’s because the kid does not become a legal heir , etc.
Not good for who?
I think there needs to be a larger realization that “Black” is a race and not an ethnic group. The Black American culture is not their true culture/ethnicity but it is a culture in their nationality.
Yea, racism definitely defines us, unfortunately. Thinking that Black American culture is some low-level culture and deprived of something (that no one can identify without being g racist or biased) just demonstrates that White Saviorship. We don’t have to like each other, only respect. If eyes would open and people would see and read, experience what is Black American ADOS culture and history, they would feel the power and brilliance of the people. It is not a monolith. neither are African cultures.
Anyone adopted as a newborn under 6 months will not go through changes of being torn away from their country. They may go thru changes of being torn away from their mother because the baby build a bond with the mother in the womb.
Anywhere mother is would be familiar, so
there would
be issues with being with another family and the birth mother no longer being there. It is a good thing babies are resilient enough not to hold on to that trauma.
I will say I would not raise
my girls to be Black either. We were life long Republicans as Black people and I do notice the difference between those of us who grow up with the victim mentality in hostel America’s inner cities and poverty stricken areas, nor do I want them to grow up just waiting for a racist to say something. I would have moved in an affluent multi-Cultural area,
so that my girls would
not be ignorant to other cultures and the struggles of starting out with nothing and building your own businesses, even a Law Firm. I would educate them on law enforcement especially with people of color and how to behave or it could mean death, but I would
encourage them to move
about in multi-cultural societies,
because if they can make it in the US,
we
should be able to as well.
Another thing is they are very aware of gov grants for minorities and various subsidies, where Black people who feel like they are the victims not only don’t the apply they do not look for those type of opportunities.
They have a defeatism complex.
I would
encourage her to be around other
Black people who are educated and business minded and to steer away from those
who have nothing going on because they end up in trouble. I hated Black History month when I was a kid because all they talked about was slavery of Black people when there were millions who were here prior
to any slave trade. We all suffered together because they tried to
enslave my ancestors and when they could not they killed them on site. With that said I am sure there
were many they kidnapped and sent to other states
for enslavement. I also believe that stigma gives today ignorant Whites
the wrong ideas.
I mean i get this as the Carlton Banks
Cause black parents, though they ain't mean too, raised a generation of millennials in yt neighborhoods as the token and whew chhhhiillleee, i completely get what yall are saying
loved this so much
Some people will be confused about whom and what !!
As stated, b4 . I was the only black child in my hometown area and at school.. The only time I saw other blacks was when they were changing buses to and from work in the town centre . My dad tells me about nothing... it was my evil stepmother who explained things to me.
But at all times, I know myself and my culture... As a child, it was difficult at times... But I didn't quit...
Situations are handled differently by everyone...
Trying to dilute someone's culture and heritage is more than evil... It's better you stick with your kind... Rather than trying to stain those sister's cultures.
You would be amazed to know that even black kids who grow up in predominantly white communities go through the identity crisis. We have to find our places. We identify with white because of experiences, but get rejected by blacks for not having some of the same experiences. I'm almost 60 now, I've learned who I am and whose I am. But, it was a struggle. Glad you guys exist for one another.
Also, In recent years, I've befriended and unfriended white women with black kids who can't stand black people especially black women. The same for my white male friend who only dates black women. He can't stand black men. Two in particular have the white superiority complex to the extreme. I feel sorry for their kids. They're both unhappy angry parents. The kids are not well either :(
I feel terrible for those children. I hope they are okay mentally. As for the identity crisis. I am so trying to figure that out too lol.
Very interesting.
I don't think any parent raised their children to be black or to understand whatever they think black culture is. The beauty of being black in America is that the culture can be whatever we choose. There is a reason why, too. I do think that people now highlight or reflect on their life and can point out instances where there were teachable moments where the person stood out from the atmosphere they were in at that moment and made accurate/inaccurate assumptions in accordance of what they considered as culture. It would be nice if the US could move away from the discussion of differing cultures altogether, but it seems like everyone wants to keep pushing their own agendas.
2:47 then missionaries/ Christianity is a whole other problem
Great program, learned a great deal! You three intelligent & lovely women are doing a wonderful service for our people who find themselves in similar life situations. The African peoples of the world have fought their way out of over five centuries of enslavement, colonialism, neocolonialism, and poverty. Few other nations could have survived such terrorism and horrow, but we did. The world is changing rapidly. The European world order is dying, the white populations are in decline. These facts, in part, explains the rise of Trump in the USA, and fascism in Europe. However, the die is casted, a new world is a-borning in the ashes of the old. Africa, Asia, and Latin America are the rising powers of the future.
Wishing you three the best years of that future.
Being black or white is not an identity. It is a racial category that began with segregation in the United States in the south because slave owners didn’t want to mix with slaves years after they were freed from slavery.
That’s when signs were put up saying blacks only and whites only. After the civil rights movement ended in the late 69s, discrimination formed throughout the United States against Black Americans so the government had to establish a system that would allow the black race to be treated fairly. That’s when forms were created to establish how many Black Americans were being hired at different jobs and and integrated into schools with White Americans.
Because of the divide of people, two different cultures were established.
I ask you ladies, where does it show that you are legally a Black person? During segregation, it was on your birth certificate that you were either Black, White or other.
Segregate is not a legal system anymore and Black Americans have gained their power in the states after having the Black family in the White House for 8 years, have over 100 black colleges, a black congressional caucus, black mayors, governors, and judges.
I ask you ladies, do you feel that Americans should continue to call themselves Black or White or just Americans?
Have you traveled the world to notice that people are not Black or White? They identify themselves based on their nationality. The nation they were born in.
Are you identified as Black or White on your birth certificate?
We are all human before to be black, white, pink. This kind of trouble is full of typical american stereotype.
I don’t think any parent raises children by colour
Except if you a person of color having to navigate a world where your skin color creates a different reality for you.. That is what these ladies are expressing. Black children raised in healthy homes will often be taught how to navigate the world safely as a black person ... FYI
My only question here is if a black person(black Americans or African) adopted a white or Chinese child. Should the parents pass their culture/heritage to the child or raise them as their skin tone / race.
Of course they would not. First of all, they would not adopt a kid of another race, because unfortunately, many black Americans (dare I say most) are very racist. And blatantly so, too.
Race is central to identity for black Americans. The fact that DEI and other indoctrination systems from the early 2000s (born and bred in universities) have now convinced the masses that the definition of “racist is one who is both privileged and socialized on the basis of race by a white supremacist system”, and that this obtuse definition has seeped throughout civilized society as a dogma, does not erase the fact that a racist is simply one who sees everything through the lens of race. One who divides people into primary groups by race; treats race as “essential”; and is keen to distribute public goods/benefits/what-have-you according to racial group identification and affiliation. This is purely and simply racism. And most black Americans today are perfectly ok with this notion. As are white liberal snowflakes who are hyper-aware of race ALL the time, are constantly apologetic and enjoy flagellation over being white. Most times however, these “self-hating” white people end up being more racist (covertly) than a white old man in Alabama.
Notice I say “black Americans”, because it so happens that in most other countries where black people exist, this is not the case. Now unfortunately, the racist/post-modernist woke virus is invading places like the UK and you might see some contagion of this messed-up mentality in some black people there, too. It is mental slavery and it sickens me as a biracial person myself - and yes I will say biracial as I will not negate my white ancestry in the same way I would never negate my black ancestry. I love and feel pride for my united family. We see each other as people, not skin pigmentation as the current black American culture would want us yo feel. That is what this girl’s father was trying to inculcate in her, to no avail.
White people are not the minority in the US so they will automatically be surrounded by other Caucasians and will see themselves reflected in books, music, movies, TV shows etc. Black parents wouldn't have to hunt high and low to find predominantly white spaces. A child of Chinese descent would need to be raised with intentional exposure to Chinese culture, language etc. Keep in mind that China has more than one language so you would have to be more specific. Chinese communities have Saturday schools that help children learn the languages, culture and traditions. Black people don't necessarily have that.
@@Jeremiah-wl9dm what does seeing other white people in media help the child know about their heritage so I adopt a white kid from the Bronx (with a high likelihood of Italian heritage) and I move to Florida or Nevada. What culture should I teach the child and if child is black but from Detroit and I move to Texas, which black culture should I teach the child. And like you said there different ethnic groups in china , should I trace the child family tree before teaching or imbibing any culture. White is not a culture, neither is black. The aim of adoption is to provide a safe and secure environment for the child to grow and develop to be a useful person in society. Asking some to raise a child in a certain “ culture ” is not necessary, if the child chooses to explore that part of their identity as an adult that is fine but not the responsibility of the parents.
Raising black girls as black girls is also cultural and the right thing to do. Their experience will be much different from yours in life ,infact 99% of a white adoptee's family, as well as white Society will also see them as black. So yes if you are going to adopt no matter their race,you should allow that child to socialize with their others from that race as well as Culture.
@@charnacharna3981 what does black culture entail? Because there different subgroups in the black American culture depending on their state of origin. Should just introduce them to the nearest black community. Should you do these as well for white or Asian adopted children as a black adoptee
I'm curious to know if any of you would have preferred not to be adopted my your white parents?
This is actually a great question and we did a video caption "I wish we weren't adopted by white parents" (a lot of people found that interesting)
How could he? He does not know how
This is like my story
I am a black woman. Look, these folks were trying to work through an unusual situation just like you. Put yourself in their shoes. Everybody makes mistakes even if their heart is in the right place.
Its the responsibility of the oarents to work that odd situation that they created out. Not the child. If you adopt out of your culture you OWE it to that child to learn about their culture. Perios.
@DarkFae888 i agree. @joseannknight8820 honestly as the adult it is your responsibility to figure stuff out for your kids biological or otherwise. I think so many people don't realize how much effort it takes to raise an adopted child. I was adopted by a family member and even then I don't think they know how hard it would be for them and for us.
As an African immigrant to these country I can guarantee you these parents did the best job raising these girls like their white children. The values NOT skin color matter!! This is TOOOO CCRRRRAZZYYY!!! They seem way too fixated on their skin color. What black culture are they talking about?? The gangster ghetto culture?? This has got to STOP. Decent good christians raise you with NO partiality and it is somehow a problem?? This is just Ungrateful of you!
Some people adopt for capitalism and financial game and still have hate against theses kids
Seriously! How does one raise a child to be black, white, brown, red, yellow a/o anything else? I’m not sure that personality has anything to do with skin color. I don’t get it!
That's ridiculous to say you need people to look like you. Never did I ever think such a thing.
Right in my birth country they think money grows on trees and keep asking to borrow money that they don’t pay back 😂
I’m at the beginning here but what’s is this raised to be Black.???
I guess we shouldn’t adopt. Sometimes we thought about it but it’s like no matter what, they’re gonna be traumatized somehow. And it’s 100% your fault cause you made the decision to adopt and didn’t foresee any of their potential struggles. (For context My husband is Haitian and super dark and I’m Puerto Rican and tan). So that’s already 2 different cultures and skin tones. And then throwing in a kid from any background, I guess they’ll just struggle so much with identity.
@@larianyoyola1311 we are pro adoption on this channel.
At the end of the day there are many children that do need to get adopted and whether they stay on the streets or foster care, or get adopted, most of them are still traumatized.
We encourage you to adopt if that's what your heart tells you and your husband to do.
We are here to promote awareness and educate from our personal experiences, not to put a stroke against adoption.
I don't agree with you. Knowing what you already know, I'm sure your own biological children would be raised embracing BOTH beautiful cultures. If you were to adopt a Caucasian child, then you would have to step out of your comfort zone and incorporate his/her culture. That shouldn't be difficult, because in America, the white culture is the dominant and praised culture.
@@ketsiadorce8445 Define white culture and black culture? My husband sees black American culture as “ghetto culture” so because he doesn’t act like that ppl say oh you’re not really black. Black is a skin color, white is a skin color. People don’t know what American culture even is. They’re taught to hate America, its values and regardless of how many generations it’s been they are taught to not see themselves as Americans but as the ethnicity they came from.
Of. Course not 😳
At least you had someone to love and care for you
Yeah, love is great but she also needed to be raise how to function in the world 🌎 as a black woman because that who they are regardless of who and how they were raise. They have to live beyond their family so they need to be prepared. I speak this as a Social worker in adoption and seeing the ramifications of these children not being providing with cultural expectations and assumptions of the society at large. It's a real thing.
Yikes 😬 🤦♀️
The bar is in hell
Parents back then didn't have the resources we all have now. Its unfair to judge them with today's views and knowledge. Im latina and my parents did a lot if not most things wrong, I was finally free when I understood that they did the best they could. Now WE are held to a higher standard, but if they wanted the knowledge I have access to now, they would have to know many languages, live in the library, and work, and clean, and take care of us.....etc..
Do I wish they were better? .....yes ....mabey....should they've been better? ...sure... but at the same time, I wouldn't be me, or know what I know.
My parents still get a lot things wrong, and make mistakes all the time, but there's a lot that they are great at. So now I try to focus on those .... and I reparent" myself by being the best mom I can be.
But nobody gets it right, most of us do the best we can.
It's hard....hard for kids and parents🤍🤍🤍
This is insightful. Sounds like you have done some work to heal.
Unfortunately people of this day can still be ignorant and unaware. Just because the info is readily available does not mean most will take it up on themselves to utilize it.
I don't think they're judging their parents per say. They're just talking about their experience. The problem comes when you raise the issues you had with your parents today with all the information available, and they still don't get it or do not want to see your perspective. That's where the frustration lies.
I think adult children can recognize that their parents didn't do things to hurt them purposefully and that they did the best they could with what they knew at the time.
This conversation should help adoptive parents understand that if you decide to adopt a black child particularly in America, it has to be a very conscious decision.
It's Common sense to not be or say Racist things around any child. And not to allow members of your family to get away with it . I don't understand the excuse that it's a different time or era,In Every Era there are non-Racist white ppl. Ignorance is not an excuse. First of all if you claim to be Christian ,you know what the Bible says about loving your neighbor as you love yourself,you know what the Bible says about being kind etc. And I guarantee you that most of these white people claimed Christianity. It's just Common sense that if you're raising a child of another raise,you teach him and yourself first all you can about his Race and Culture . Wow,I'm shook by the excuses ‼️
We all know that Latinos want to be white anyway...
As a parent born in the sixties and raised kids. I wish I had done a better job. I thought I was doing good by keeping them with food to eat and a roof over their head and in a safe place. But as they are adults now, I found that they needed so much more on a personal level.😔