Видео

That's ridiculous to say you need people to look like you. Never did I ever think such a thing.

Are you single Hawa?

It seems to me that all they do is badmouth their adoptive parents, based on them being white. If that is not racist, then what is? So, is there a trend in the US to segregate by race adoptees and put them only with their own race? Would this not lead to a lot of black children never getting the chance to be adopted? I am not American, so maybe I miss on many of the subtle aspects, but blaming your adoptive parents for all the wrongs of the society is not a good way of going forward. It already seems like a challenge, which guest can badmouth the most their adopted parents. There are no grey areas, no talk about the love and care given, just everything is drawn in black lines. Would it have been better in foster care?

I think he meant “ black “ as in didn’t raise you you to be Ghetto. Clearly said it the wrong way.

Out of the blue, I once had a white customer voluntarily tell me that he was going to raise his mixed black grandson(which he had with him) to be a REDNECK. The boy looked like he might have been 3 or 4. I guess he said that to me because I am Black. But since we live in the South, I thought to myself, "poor baɓy". I'll never forget that, and I still feel sad for that lil boy and pray for him.

What a wonderful conversation. I didn’t realize that there were so many differences between us. I had a couple of my own, being raised in America. Thank you for sharing!

I love you girls. This is very interesting.

You don’t understand what’s happening when you’re a child growing up. Which can be a blessing bc you don’t get all the adult burden when you can’t handle it. It’s ok to be realizing it in your later 20s because now you have the adult understanding and independence to figure things out.

How could he? He does not know how

White Gunkle here to 2 Afro women. So glad we were I Bay Area but always wanted a Afro auntie for them. Policy and programs needed to include connections the child's community and guidance for adoptive parents as child goes thru stages 😘

What an important conversation to have. There is a very popular white family on social media with an adopted Black son. The father just made a video declaring that he is not raising his son to be a Black man. The video made my skin itch because of the very points made by you and your guest.

Anyone adopted as a newborn under 6 months will not go through changes of being torn away from their country. They may go thru changes of being torn away from their mother because the baby build a bond with the mother in the womb. Anywhere mother is would be familiar, so there would be issues with being with another family and the birth mother no longer being there. It is a good thing babies are resilient enough not to hold on to that trauma. I will say I would not raise my girls to be Black either. We were life long Republicans as Black people and I do notice the difference between those of us who grow up with the victim mentality in hostel America’s inner cities and poverty stricken areas, nor do I want them to grow up just waiting for a racist to say something. I would have moved in an affluent multi-Cultural area, so that my girls would not be ignorant to other cultures and the struggles of starting out with nothing and building your own businesses, even a Law Firm. I would educate them on law enforcement especially with people of color and how to behave or it could mean death, but I would encourage them to move about in multi-cultural societies, because if they can make it in the US, we should be able to as well. Another thing is they are very aware of gov grants for minorities and various subsidies, where Black people who feel like they are the victims not only don’t the apply they do not look for those type of opportunities. They have a defeatism complex. I would encourage her to be around other Black people who are educated and business minded and to steer away from those who have nothing going on because they end up in trouble. I hated Black History month when I was a kid because all they talked about was slavery of Black people when there were millions who were here prior to any slave trade. We all suffered together because they tried to enslave my ancestors and when they could not they killed them on site. With that said I am sure there were many they kidnapped and sent to other states for enslavement. I also believe that stigma gives today ignorant Whites the wrong ideas.

Hawa’s facial expression when listening to the very beginning of Julie’s adoption story says volumes. One of which White savior complex comes to mind. 😂 However, I am thankful for those sincere White people reaching out to help anyone in need. They are truly few and far between. Most have a sinister plan for those unsuspecting children. With that said, this is the reason I am thankful for Julie’s story showing her parent were truly empathetic and filled with love. I am a black woman that looks white. I am not biracial. My grandmother was Native American and My Grandfather Indigenous Native American. They both had curly hair, my grandfather had wavy curly, but back in the 1800’s and very early 1900’s the more colored Native Americans the US Census used Mulatto or Negro. Then after a while they changed Mulatto to Negro. but they were Crow Nation and Cherokee. they had 16 kids and they all married either Black people or Native / Indigenous Americans. But due ro the US changing any person of color to Negro, even if we were here before all slave trades we are considered Negros. You know the US had a 1 drop rule. Well I am retired now, but even before then, I found myself in arguments with my ethnicity. I got a speeding ticket decades ago and they put White on race. I told them I am not white, then they put M for Mexican. I told them I am not Mexican, I am Black. they refused to put Black on my speeding ticket. Another time was working for state gov in the south. They have you completing demographic paper work to show they are hiring minorities. They called me to the office after I was working there for like 6 months . They told me they wanted me to apply for a supervisor position ( That I did not want) pulled my files and read my demographics . The HR Supervisor looked at me and looked at the paper work, then stated, I know we hiring minorities at the time of your employment but you did not have to pretend to be a minority to get the job. Then told to me to complete the form again and she will replace the old one, no harm no file. I read the paperwork and said this is correct. She said no the part where you wrote Black. I said I am Black. She told me I was not Black, we went back and forth. I then cracked a joke about never realizing I would have I was Black. She smiled. then laughed. And finally gave in. I told her I was planning to move back to the West Coast so, I really did not want to apply for the and just leave like that. I told them I had no problem training ppl and if they wanted to give me a bonus for the difference in pay we could do that. But something I realize is that in these later times they are becoming stricter with who can be Black or African American. Whereas, in times past they put that down as quickly as possible and forced you to use Black even if you were Native or Indigenous American because they did not want you to have any entitlements, and that was one thing you could depend on being black is no entitlements.

Hawa is cute.

I was adopted by white people with a savior mentality but their whole families ly ended up being racist. Subscribed

Seriously! How does one raise a child to be black, white, brown, red, yellow a/o anything else? I’m not sure that personality has anything to do with skin color. I don’t get it!

I was adopted as a baby but by an older black woman. I was 6 weeks and my mom was 51. The age gap didn’t make a difference until I got older and then our relationship became toxic. I’m 41 and she is 92 now so we have an understanding on both sides now. Healing comes with wisdom and understanding . Don’t lose hope ❤

Do you guys have a video on what you're doing now as far as Jobs and community service if any.

I am a black mother my kids are black I've always told my children you can do whatever you want and both of my children are exceeding in their lives.

You guys are blessed that you escaped the poverty in your country so I believe you should send back as much as you can to your birth family❤

Internationally Raising a black child in a hostile white community is child abuse. White supremacy is so pervasive that calling this out as child abuse is considered unacceptable.

Let's guess on it...They took the $1,800-$2300..per month paid for their kids college, paid their mortgage, paid their Mercedes & credit card bills; ate very well iff the Stamps now called EBT, they lived it up. No you weren't raised 'Blaaack', your now used to good 😊 life suburbs, you don't want the Dusty n...in ghetto projects, melatonin collection 101😮😢😅

Typical, they paid for their kuds college, paid off their Mortgage house, car loan, credit card etc , then dumped you in streets. That's 'The System'..Research since 1930's

Let's guess on it...They took the $1,800-$2300..per month paid for their kids college, paid their mortgage, paid their Mercedes & credit card bills; ate very well iff the Stamps now called EBT, they lived it up. No you weren't raised 'Blaaack', your now used to good 😊 life suburbs, you don't want the Dusty n...in ghetto projects, melatonin collection 101😮😢😅

I have a question, do you ladies plan to adopt? Can you do a video on the ratio of adoptees who in turn decide to adopt when they become adults? I would be interested in seeing that video.

I am a 41 year old single black woman. My little sister is also single and 4 years younger than me. Neither of us has ever had children. We both want to adopt. I have known I wanted to adopt a child since I was a child myself. However, due to a variety of reasons, I have not yet been sufficiently financially capable of doing so. I pray to be able to someday!

Learned a lot

What is white privilege?? White skin gives people some kind of privilege? So according to that logic Lebron James, The Obama girls, Oprah, Steph Curry all have no privilege compared to the majority homeless white people on the streets of San Francisco??? Your race is NOT a problem. I know so many African immigrants who come here with NOTHING, work hard, focus and within ten years are lawyers and doctors and engineers etc. Just saying... white privilege is a racism. To think someone has privilege because of their skin color is SICK!!

I bet and suspect this Julie is married to a white man!

What does it mean to raise your black child to be white?? Just raise them with good moral values. Period. This is the soft bigotry of low expectation. How does a black child differ from a white child?? Your skin color is NOT a culture!! What the heck! MLK said it well that we should be "judged by the content of my character NOT the color of my skin". Your skin color is NOT everything!! Your mother learning to manage your kinky hair is the best thing she really needed to do for you as a child!!

Your parents did the RIGHT thing raising you like they raised their other kids. Anything else would have been discriminatory. You do not need to be in the same place as people who look like you. You need to assimilate. The way you wear your hair is not exactly black now. It looks straightened and like a white person hair. These people probably raised you BASED on their christian values NOT to be BLACK!! It is only reasonable to be honest. These people are white. They loved you just like their other kids. In Cameroon you'd be confronted with TRIBALISM and NEPOTISM. These people did you a favor and you should be more than grateful instead of insinuating they are somehow racially superior! They wanted you to not feel left out!

I am from Cameroon and I wonder what part of Cameroon Julie was adopted from. She is beautiful and seems well adjusted in spite of her adoption situation. Adoption is great!

I’m at the beginning here but what’s is this raised to be Black.???

We are all human before to be black, white, pink. This kind of trouble is full of typical american stereotype.

Thanks for teaching me something ❤

Hey ladies I was raised with a bio mom and bio dad. There are some things that happened to me growing up that I still struggle to let go of even as a grown adult. Some of the issues you have raised also happen with biological parents ie favouritism, excessive discipline especially with boomer parents lol but I assume it cuts real deep when you are adopted because the easiest conclusion can be, "It's because I am not biologically theirs". When it's your biological parent, I think it's easier to gloss over their mistakes compared to when it's an adoptive parent. That's my thoughts. Side note on Hawa's comment about testing boundaries: I am African and if I had ever talked back to my parents or come home past curfew I would have been whooped outta my mind. Sad but funny. 😂😂

It may be useful for you to read" Caste the Origins of our Discontents " by Isabel Wilkerson

Great video ladies!!! These are important conversations! I'm not adopted. I'm biracial, raised by my white/Jewish mom, with my 2 sisters and one brother and I'm the only black child. Can relate to a lot of what's being discussed!

I’m not trying to invalidate what you’re saying, but I wanted to share a different perspective. I grew up with my biological parents and have many similar experiences to what you talk about. Parenting is tough, and our parents made many mistakes. Like you, I have tried to have discussions with my parents on these issues. Some they understand, while others they don’t or refuse to understand. I understand how you may feel that your struggles are because you were adopted, but many biological kids can attest to feelings of abandonment, low self-esteem, rejection and feeling excluded because they’re not the favorite child. What you shared are very helpful tips for adoptive parents, but if you’re an adoptive parent or plan to be, remember that you don’t have to be perfect. If you genuinely love your kids, they can tell. There’s a risk that people may watch these videos and conclude that they can never be good enough to adopt, and there are so many kids out there who need a home - orphans, abandoned kids, etc.

Right in my birth country they think money grows on trees and keep asking to borrow money that they don’t pay back 😂

W people dont come at questions from a place of facts. usually they respond because they are in a perpetual state of anger at black people. they go to bed mad and wake up mad. then they search the internet looking for blk peoples posts to be even more mad . heres the answer to his question. the reason there are not many W kids up for adoption is bacause when the W folks get sick of their kids they just 💀 them. susan smith is a typical example. she drowned her babies then said it was some black men who kidnapped them. dont even get me started with chris whatts or that threadmill father.

Excellent discussion!

I am wondering about your adult relationships. Do you find yourself more attracted to white men?

I feel for the two young women in this video and hope they overcome their racist mindset

Thank you ladies! Love your videos.

But how could he raise you to be black? What is black anyway? That tells you how you look.

Great program, learned a great deal! You three intelligent & lovely women are doing a wonderful service for our people who find themselves in similar life situations. The African peoples of the world have fought their way out of over five centuries of enslavement, colonialism, neocolonialism, and poverty. Few other nations could have survived such terrorism and horrow, but we did. The world is changing rapidly. The European world order is dying, the white populations are in decline. These facts, in part, explains the rise of Trump in the USA, and fascism in Europe. However, the die is casted, a new world is a-borning in the ashes of the old. Africa, Asia, and Latin America are the rising powers of the future. Wishing you three the best years of that future.

Listening to this almost made me cry. I never knew adopted kids go through this. I wish we had a third person on this podcast, someone who was adopted as a baby. I would love to know if their experience was the same. I have an adopted child; I took him in from birth when he lost his mom, a single mother. I can swear that I have a maternal attachment to him, but I don't know for sure because I don't have any biological children to compare with. I may decide not to have any biological children because I wouldn't want my baby feeling left out.

Good to know that white families shouldn't adopt black children

I don't think any parent raised their children to be black or to understand whatever they think black culture is. The beauty of being black in America is that the culture can be whatever we choose. There is a reason why, too. I do think that people now highlight or reflect on their life and can point out instances where there were teachable moments where the person stood out from the atmosphere they were in at that moment and made accurate/inaccurate assumptions in accordance of what they considered as culture. It would be nice if the US could move away from the discussion of differing cultures altogether, but it seems like everyone wants to keep pushing their own agendas.