Fun fact: I used to think everyone in the world needed to be sleeping in order for day to come. One day, I looked at my clock to see it was 12:00 A.M. and since I didn't know daylight savings time was a thing, I checked back an hour later to see it at 12:00 A.M. again and had a mental breakdown because someone wasn't letting morning happen.
@@em7pug26 It's a saying which says that even though I was smart according to the academic system, I wasn't smart in a real world sense. Since time wasn't taught at our school until second grade, it would be a street smarts situation since most parents taught their kids time at this point. Sorry if there was any confusion.
Oh that's what I wish to be in Did I mention that I'm crap at basically every sport. So one of two things will happen either a) I get to die or b) I learn how to play baseball and I'm too lazy to learn how to cook
he is too young.. or too wholesome but wholesomeness wont save him from death after he said "there are monsters in your area" and not "there are monsters nearby" im still annoyed as you can tell XD
Well, it's simple. Through the power of flex tape and astral projection, he came to the conclusion that the soup was a female. Explains why my soup tastes funny
Genie: Alright there are 3 rules, no wishing someone dead, no wishing for love, and no wishing for more wishes Me: I wish my toes were just smaller feet Genie: ....there are 4 rules.
So uh, to let you know, they'd probably also say "Don't wish for something that can't happen." To explain, those feet would have feet and so on, it'd be infinite, but also infinitly costly, so you'd never reach the end. Also, everything is made of stuff, and that stuff is made of stuff, so on so forth, you never reach the end, something has to be non-physical making up that stuff, so we have to have something metaphysical. Now that we know that lamps with porn on them are what make up reality, we can all grab guns and shoot me.
Here what i do. Wish for a limitless debit card. Wish for a infinitely recharging energy crystal. Wish for a new genie. Wish for biological immortality Wish for a infinitely regenerative matter crystal. Wish for a new genie Wish for a perfect body as i see it. Wish for a memory chip with no storage limit. Wish for a new genie. Repeat
@@Pheatan HAHAHA nice I saw your reply in my notifications and was like what the. I clicked on it to see what comment it was replying to and laughed. Nice quote I'm not sure how it's relevant though
Genie: I give you three wishes Me: I want my crush to like me Genie: I can't do that Me: I wish you could Genie:......Outstanding move Edit: Stop liking this shitty comment its not even funny
Alright I have an idea if I wish the genie can’t add more rules, then wish for no rules, then wish for infinite wish. Now I am the new god of this world
7:07 Fun fact: In the phineas and ferb movie they go to an alternate dimension were doofenschmirtz becomes an evil dictator and conquers the tri state area. Don't worry, he doesn't want to erraticate jews, yet.
6:22 Yes, yes I do feel like eating pizza now. Matter a fact I’m eating pizza right now I just finished two slices yum yum yum I sure do love these 3 spoons of warm oil.
Mum's eye : cost 29million Me : gets 30million Me : end up with 59million Edit holy crap. This many likes. Might as well sell my dad's eyes too Edit again: infinite money source if I feed my mum uranium so she gets multiple eyes.
Depends entirely on the country, if the parent of the girl presses charges etc, etc. Most likely nothing will happen, but technically the father could be punished even as a child himself for sleeping with a minor.
Hey, no swearing on my minecraft Christian server. You under arrest for using a swear word. Oh you think I can’t understand? Haha you fool. I can speak the language. Get banned.
The 3 responses to the eye question: The good: i would obviously get her a new eye! Shes my mom! The bad: she’s seen enough The anarchist: sell her right eye and get 59M
20:11 Imagine being that girl's dad when she walks in wearing that shirt, and you start to say something, but your wife is like what's wrong with it? and you pretty much just have to keep your mouth shut...
Imagine an anti-vaxxer taking you to court over a lack of child support. Judge: why haven’t your paid child support? Dad: Well, she’s an anti-vaxxer. Kid will be dead by the time he reaches 5. Anti-vaxxer: how dare you?! Our son is the definition of health! Dad: we can all see “our” brat. He looks like a realistic SpongeBob SquarePants.
a lotta of people are gonna start filling in and saying first. but heyo, they're too late. since people complain about people just saying first and not anything interesting, and they're right.
I mean if my mother’s eye was valued in 29 million then my mother would wake up with good and bad news Bad news: she doesn’t have a eye Good news: her son haves 29 million dollars
Fun fact: I used to think everyone in the world needed to be sleeping in order for day to come. One day, I looked at my clock to see it was 12:00 A.M. and since I didn't know daylight savings time was a thing, I checked back an hour later to see it at 12:00 A.M. again and had a mental breakdown because someone wasn't letting morning happen.
Oof XD
Imagine thinking IRL sleeping works like Minecraft lol
@@shacuras8201 I wasn't a very street smart kid, even though I exceeded in book smarts. 😂
@@nathankellogg2640 though, it seems like that would be a ‘book smart’ thing.
@@em7pug26 It's a saying which says that even though I was smart according to the academic system, I wasn't smart in a real world sense. Since time wasn't taught at our school until second grade, it would be a street smarts situation since most parents taught their kids time at this point. Sorry if there was any confusion.
Found an add that's says
"Don't hold in ur piss"
"Use pitchers it has"
"no smell and dries pee too"
The moment I saw this I knew I was cursed.
Yes officer, this comment
Yes Jesus this comentario
@@uhappynowuhappynow116 I'm not sure jesus can save us from these sins
Omg
forbidden apple juice holder
*listening in the background*
"its David the baker"
*immediately pays attention and turns up volume*
ive been watching this for a month and just found out.
"So if you're watching this from Poland, just know you're safe, for now..."
*chuckles*
Im in danger :)
Yeah same
Some thinngs never change
@@lukaszojej2110 ooooooooooooooooooooo
O nie..
Yeesh, this is gonna age poorly in a few months
0:50 is nobody going to talk about the fact that there’s a kid in there
jeez I didn't even notice...wtf :O
No stealing candy Jimmy...
@@xqza ...
Oh that's what I wish to be in
Did I mention that I'm crap at basically every sport. So one of two things will happen either a) I get to die or b) I learn how to play baseball and I'm too lazy to learn how to cook
This is the new Emkay. There is a lot of potential in this channel I can feel it
At least this channel has much less robin
@@gunpowderketamine hell yeah
@@gunpowderketamine Yess, finally I can enjoy memes without them being ruined
When David calls Soup a "she" 7:20
he is too young.. or too wholesome
but wholesomeness wont save him from death after he said "there are monsters in your area" and not "there are monsters nearby"
im still annoyed as you can tell XD
@@thatoneleaf9895 yup, uncultured, doesnt Even know minecraft
I said it I already but next time that Gucci belt goes on it wont be for his sister, Soup is coming for the narrator.
I can looking for this comment
Well, it's simple. Through the power of flex tape and astral projection, he came to the conclusion that the soup was a female. Explains why my soup tastes funny
Genie: Alright there are 3 rules, no wishing someone dead, no wishing for love, and no wishing for more wishes
Me: I wish my toes were just smaller feet
Genie: ....there are 4 rules.
So uh, to let you know, they'd probably also say "Don't wish for something that can't happen."
To explain, those feet would have feet and so on, it'd be infinite, but also infinitly costly, so you'd never reach the end.
Also, everything is made of stuff, and that stuff is made of stuff, so on so forth, you never reach the end, something has to be non-physical making up that stuff, so we have to have something metaphysical.
Now that we know that lamps with porn on them are what make up reality, we can all grab guns and shoot me.
@@nobodynobody3187 what happened when during the time you sent this
Here what i do.
Wish for a limitless debit card.
Wish for a infinitely recharging energy crystal.
Wish for a new genie.
Wish for biological immortality
Wish for a infinitely regenerative matter crystal.
Wish for a new genie
Wish for a perfect body as i see it.
Wish for a memory chip with no storage limit.
Wish for a new genie.
Repeat
@@JS-rv3et ah yes, *genie ception*
@@JS-rv3et i mean, from what i can tell you basically just wanna become the ender dragon plus more
“How would you make corn with oddish?”
I can think of many ways...
I’m going to hell now
?
@@vikavolt5414 buttplugs and or anal beeds
hahaha *gets reminded of how oddish breed*
7:20 YES! The cameo appearance of Soup and Swagger.
I'm still trippin' that this dude called Soup a she.
David is my favourite narrator along with literally everyone else.
Wrong
Simp
@@techyobvious430 oof ok
That’s- okay
@Ad Lockhorst just dav lol
“If you just won $30M and yo mama left eye cost $29M, wyd? 😭😭😭”
You know what they say out of sight out of mind
Like the grassy null
I’d sell her eye and have 59 million
Id sell her eye and buy another for her lol
@@fin8235
Damn after everything Bruno did for you
@@fin8235
Oh wait I read it wrong
4:50 here in Brazil we have 3 hotdogs in one bread. Brazil is the future
And you can still pout a lot of shit there like potato sticks, basic economy brother
So that’s why people want to send people to Brazil.
Onde cargas d'agua tu mora
@@elizadesiree843 minas :>
Perfeição kkkkkkk
If someone's bullying you just say "if you keep this up there will be a pumped up kicks 2"
"Screw a physical manifestation of my username"
Alright. Which goes where?
Thats not guns and roses thats Ruby Rose i understand the confusion they are both rockstars.
@@JS-rv3et I guess this will be the day they're waiting for.
@@Pheatan HAHAHA nice
I saw your reply in my notifications and was like what the. I clicked on it to see what comment it was replying to and laughed.
Nice quote I'm not sure how it's relevant though
@@Pheatan have you seen the last season? /latest season
r/cursedcomments
Genie: I give you three wishes
Me: I want my crush to like me
Genie: I can't do that
Me: I wish you could
Genie:......Outstanding move
Edit: Stop liking this shitty comment its not even funny
Nice
@I LOVE hazut yes
Yes XD
Alright I have an idea if I wish the genie can’t add more rules, then wish for no rules, then wish for infinite wish. Now I am the new god of this world
I am the 69th like
7:07
Fun fact:
In the phineas and ferb movie they go to an alternate dimension were doofenschmirtz becomes an evil dictator and conquers the tri state area. Don't worry, he doesn't want to erraticate jews, yet.
Bro
YET
Baba booyey moment
YET
Both have a mustache
12:30 Did anyone else notice the "Satan would do it quicker."?
ḩ̶̣̯̗̳̱̖͎̩̥̈͐͂̈́̿̑̇̚͜e̴̟̱͙͓͓̮̝̜̹̥͒̿̈̑̈̈́̃̐͆͝ļ̵͉͉͎̮̻͔̙̣̯̞͈̘̥͋͋̌͘͜l̶̨͎̹̫̥̬̭̬̂̈͋̅͝o
0:00 there are 2 options
1. Just live knowing that her left eye costs 29$ million dollars and not sell it
2. Sell it
better idea, sell both! kidneys also go for a good price on the black market
3: Let her keep her eye ffs
David has a better chance at voice acting for movies or being a singer than that one girl in my class from last year
Edit: 21:53
6:22
Yes, yes I do feel like eating pizza now.
Matter a fact I’m eating pizza right now
I just finished two slices
yum yum yum
I sure do love these 3 spoons of warm oil.
Yeah pretty good right? In my opinion it isn’t the best warm liquid though.
Wait, some parents actually move when their kid is being bullied?
Not mine I fight the piece of shit the next time he messes with me or fam
@@vikavolt5414 r/imverybadass
@@vikavolt5414 lie lol
@@broomtuneasmr3032 this is fact
Haha! 100th like!!
6:30 *predators. To warn and ward off predators. Others do it to attract/impress mates. Take birds of paradise for example.
Peacock
@@vikavolt5414 Exactly!
@@vikavolt5414 I think peacocks colorful feathers are also for finding and impressing a mate.
@@hanoianboy9562 yes
10:01 that ain’t Palpatine. That’s Lloyd Garmadon.
It’s palpatine
rude
9:24 and that’s how the Kool-Aid Man was made
EZPZ is real coolio
"Welcome to down town coolsville."
Dego brand
Indeederooni
Q: Why did the robber take a bath before he stole from the bank?
A: He wanted to make a clean get away!
@@jdwmyt cool
8:14 people who watched fma feel the pain here
Ikr
Yeah can't believe he didn't get the quote
I feel so much pain
Just as I saw that part, I immediately close my phone and covered my face and feel the Vietnam flashback coming @ me
My older sister watched it, I'm not sure if she's still a fan
3:13 *they had us in the first half not gonna lie*
If Japan can create animal-human hybrids then cat girls can finally become real
cursed
Better yet, *FURRIES*
That might be terrifying in real life.
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I drank 3 spoons if oil, I would be half conscious after one, but if I ate a pizza then I would be perfectly fine
why do i keep torturing myself by these damn comments
Why do u torture everyone with ur pfp
sangwoo
Why do you torture Bum
sangwoo 50th like
a
Cant be worse than the narrator
At 13:47 I was kinda disappointed at the fact he didn't finish singing it
8:20 The real cursed part of that post is the "Ed... Ward" that's genuinly horrifying.
High Avenger it was sooo fucking disturbing😰😥
It's a Fullmetal Alchemist reference
@@morganthomas4026 I know. That's why its horrifying. Otherwise it would just be a name.
@@TheHighAvenger yeah, that episode is the one that really set me on edge and shook me hard
Oh god
9:27 So that's how kool aid man was born
Mum's eye : cost 29million
Me : gets 30million
Me : end up with 59million
Edit holy crap. This many likes. Might as well sell my dad's eyes too
Edit again: infinite money source if I feed my mum uranium so she gets multiple eyes.
7:28,
Swagger be like
I wonder if this is a good place for my humor... why not?
I-
I mean to be fair they didn’t say that she doesn’t already have the eye
I'd end up with 88 million dollars
hold up
I hate this quarantine, i haven't been able to eat any limbs since January!
🎶you should go see a therapist🎶
yeah , so annoying
Yo wha-
Wait hold-
Oh, I get it now, it's your channel gimmick, because you're Mangle
Same it’s annoying
14 year old girl insists 10 year old boyfriend will help raise the baby"
hold on a second, is that legal?
Uhhhh yesnt?
Uhhhh.....
Depends entirely on the country, if the parent of the girl presses charges etc, etc. Most likely nothing will happen, but technically the father could be punished even as a child himself for sleeping with a minor.
@@Pheatan wha
I like this dude. He takes cursed comments to a new level of not okay and I love it.
4:45 Every hotdog you get in Brazil automatically comes with 2 sausages, at least that should be the normal, and also a whole bunch of other stuff too
They should do r/noahgettheboat
Go to Click for that
Yeeees
Click is the one for that. Absolutely
Q: What kind of car does Mickey Mouse's wife drive?
A: A minnie van!
Zills Bills ok
I’m not sure what’s making my heart feel heavy the video or the food from five guys I just ate.
For me personally it’s the medical equipment. Wait why is it getting heavier????
8:11 i hate that he missed the full metal alchemists reffrence
9:31
“And that’s how the kool-aid man was born”
if pokimane did a "playing with fans" live on among us, then when a fan is impostor, its "simpostor".
For now? When is he going to do it?
*scared pole noises*
Kur♡a...
Hey, no swearing on my minecraft Christian server. You under arrest for using a swear word. Oh you think I can’t understand? Haha you fool. I can speak the language. Get banned.
@@thecommentato4 This is EZPZ
@@thecommentato4 Also, Perkele
@@thecommentato4 Also, Perkele
Dawid Tan And this is a joke.
20:08
You're welcome
Gib söce
Does, uhhh... anyone know her name? Asking for a friend.
Back. Just found out it's just a normal t-shirt model, nothing inappropriate... well, there goes my afternoon plans.
@@Reaper-gg3fg that's a mad commitment, two weeks trying to find something
@@azul-currymagician4909 well that's a mad wait, I'm assuming you as well waited 4 months for the outcome
8:12 FMA dog scene flashbacks bc of that discord message
When I saw this comment I immediately knew what FMA means because of you mentioning the dog scene and I haven't even watched it
@@aromanticfranziskavonkarma i also havent watched the show in full but i remember watching the scene on youtube a long time ago
I watched it a got veitnam flashbacks
14:53 I'd be willing to bet my entire savings that they made that account with that username specifically for that post.
The 3 responses to the eye question:
The good: i would obviously get her a new eye! Shes my mom!
The bad: she’s seen enough
The anarchist: sell her right eye and get 59M
I like how you keep multiple takes of the same line sometimes. Makes me feel as if I'm with you while you're recording.
20:11 Imagine being that girl's dad when she walks in wearing that shirt, and you start to say something, but your wife is like what's wrong with it? and you pretty much just have to keep your mouth shut...
If god was a geologist: rock on table is now rock on floor.
Earth being swept out of orbit
The giving birth to a jellyfish one is so relatable
The reason baby today and adult yoda’s eyes are different is because their two different people lmao
9:20 that’s where the kool-aid man came from
If anyone needs to spend some time watching something, watch the full series binge of god making things. It’s super funny
6:03 Aussie here and I can confirm I am currently burning
Imagine an anti-vaxxer taking you to court over a lack of child support.
Judge: why haven’t your paid child support?
Dad: Well, she’s an anti-vaxxer. Kid will be dead by the time he reaches 5.
Anti-vaxxer: how dare you?! Our son is the definition of health!
Dad: we can all see “our” brat. He looks like a realistic SpongeBob SquarePants.
12:22 minecraft now features one person sleeps, its day, EVERYONE IS STILL TIRED.
phantoms are calculated based on a hidden tiredness feature
The juice man one at the airport just made me think of something horrible, I’m so so so sorry
Cool aid mans origin story
5:55 huh, here I thought that mommy dog and mommy human breastfeeding each other was normal in other countries, guess I was wrong
a lotta of people are gonna start filling in and saying first.
but heyo, they're too late.
since people complain about people just saying first and not anything interesting,
and they're right.
Yes
Yes
Yes
*"Imma boutta end this chain's whole career."*
@Nathanael Marco Hartanto *Imma boutta end this chains whole career*
I mean if my mother’s eye was valued in 29 million then my mother would wake up with good and bad news
Bad news: she doesn’t have a eye
Good news: her son haves 29 million dollars
“When you leave this video, you’ll be feeling cursed”
Me, a demon: *Was that a challenge?*
Day 16 of asking EzPz to do r/Wellthatsu***
AwesomeStyles [GD] sucks isn’t a bad word
TheOmnigods That isn’t a woooosh.
firey bfdi Personal preferences.
TheOmnigods I would rather not type it out.
Rishabh Gangadeen he didn’t say sucks
the human animal hybrids just means the time has finally arrived for cat girls
this is yikes on a whole knew level.
Baby Yoda’s eyes hatch like eggs when he hits puberty
0:10
DANG!
THAT JOKE WAS DARKER THAN MY SOUL!
0:05 "we've got eyes at home"
Is it just me or did his voice sound so beautiful when he sang “What can I say except-” 🙃🙃
Benjamin Butterworth: *Learns about WW2*
Polish People: *Sweat Nervously*
2:22 uh oh, looks like someone likes to take it dry
16:48 The one which KUMS backwards.....😆😆😆
I play in realms so the rules do not apply.
9:26 How do you think the Kool-aid man exists?
"if you're batching this from Poland, just know you're safe."
That aged like milk.
"So if you are watching this from Poland, know that you are safe for now"
Me, a Pole: *Germany flashbacks*
David sounds like a higher pitched Damien, from emkay
Repeat after me memers:
Russia is not communist.
Putin is not communist.
You are not communist.
But yeah China is doe
Russia is not communist
Putin is not communist
You are not communist
But yeah china is doe
@Giorno giovanna Thanks Giorno
Russia is not communist
Putin is not communist
You are not communist
But yeah China is doe
@Guillermo Acosta Thanks
*WE are not communist
"You got left eye money"
People: naming things that are black and white
Some Guy: Michael Jackson
Me: Muzan Kibutsuji-
They had us in the first half
Hello, if you see this, as myth says you will have a great day
Crap. I'm going to bed.
@Benjamin Brehm Yea good thing
what i have stroke
*But what if it's night*
@@zanemob1429 well I read up on another myth and I found out that as Myth has it, you also will have a good night
9:26 the origin of kool aid man
LMAOO this comment is so underrated
20:01 I thought that was a shot from spec ops the line
1:46
Mom:son what are you doing
The guy:Nothing just pretending to get shot
Mom:Oh.....Did it work?
11:50 when I hold my breath under water a minute feels like 30 sec
Bro imagine someone watching this in school and hear “ you’re safe Poland.... for now”
I'd get my mom her left eye, she has taken care of me for too long, i must pay back the favour.
Same.
I was once shouted by a teacher he said "Shut up kid" and now i got to the principal's office for creating a hole in the ceiling.
Enemy sniper in tf2: breaths
Me, as soldier: *YOU HAVE FORFEITED YOUR INGAME LIFE PRIVILEGES.*
Me, pyro maining: haha air last go *SPOOSH*
@@thechargentarge1341 me, with a Beggar’s bazooka: haha rocket deviation go woosh.
9:37 "I am the juice man. My juice is delicious."
Oh yes “bible study”.
I'm pretty sure I know that woman... from research..
Bishh budum ba bam bum boom
Right haha nice
@@guacamole8683 who is she?Please tell me whats her name.
@@dhaniel6328 I sadly don't know /:
So I'm racist for not wanting a black woman? My dating preferences are my dating preferences.,
16:55 The one that's really slow, pink, and people eat its tails a lot ... it also has a cool song after it
When David hates your cursed comment so much he has to put his foot down and yell a cuss word at you, you know things went wrong.
i am a prophet the next horrible thing will happen in 2120
12:25 well this tweet aged well in March 2021 when we're still here lol
I would sell my mum’s eye and have $59 million
???: The sacred juice
Me: *laughs*
Also me: *sees pfp*
Also ALSO me: Izuku... Izu why? Where’d the innocent cinnamon roll go? 😭😭😭
Timestamp?
@@charliefinnmichael4770 Idk
H m m j u i c e. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
@@charliefinnmichael4770 I know I am very late but...
19:47
@@adamhart2893 thank you