My Entitled Mom Allowed My Golden Child Brother to Bully Me All My Life, and She Is Now Realizing...
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- Опубликовано: 3 июл 2024
- 00:00 1st story:
My (14f) dad and half-siblings are not allowed to speak to me because I am the product of his affair. It hurts & and is effecting my self esteem. (bastarddaughter94149 in r/relationships)
10:49 2nd story:
Why I will never forgive my brother, and why I struggle to forgive my mother (ihatehim-throwaway in r/confessions)
19:11 3rd story:
Last year, boyfriend (33m) quit his job without telling me and now he refused to look for another job. I’m (31f) tired of paying for everything (u/ThrowRA_blackberry1 in r/relationship_advice)
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Gameplay by @ninakori
regret after cheating, when you are in a secret relationship, when your in a open relationship, how to be more open in a relationship, husband keeping secrets from wife, wife keeping secrets from husband, how to take care of your wife, narcissist and family relationships, toxic relationship story, reddit stories revenge on familyreddit stories entitled family, reddit stories family disowned me, reddit stories revenge on family, reddit stories entitled siblings, marriage revenge full story
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Развлечения
TLDR for story 1: Stepmom is butthurt that she stayed married to a serial cheater. The only one losing sleep at night is her.
Could've probably said it better myself but in tired so I'll just like your comme lol
So true
Agreed. Here's what I would say to OP...
(This might be a long post, feel free to skip it if it's too much, lol)
To the OP:
The measure of a person's quality is NOT in how they are treated, but rather in how they choose to treat others.
Your half-brother reached out to you. This was initiated on their side, not yours, so clearly your father's wife does not speak for everyone. She's putting words in their mouth.
When they reached out, you welcomed them with open arms, showed them kindness, took an interest in their lives and showed a genuine desire to get to know them. These are good qualities. You did not do this out of a sense of obligation or social etiquette, you were genuine in your response. That is the kind of person you are, and it is something we should all aspire towards.
You also knew your Father and his Wife would not be so welcoming, there was an established boundary there, which you respected, only choosing to engage with those who also wanted to engage with you. That is dignified and admirable.
Your father's wife, by contrast reached out purely to hurt you, because hurting you makes her feel better about herself. She proceeds to tell you that "Her Family" puts the needs of others above their own, while in the same breath telling you that you are not a part of that family, and putting words in the mouths of her own children... words you know to be false. She doesn't actually put anyone above herself, especially not her family. She's a hypocrite, and a vindictive one at that.
While I will never condone cheating, there is usually an underlying reason, and some reasons are better than others, even if the act itself remains reprehensible. Your father is a serial cheater. But is that an innate property of who he is as a man, or a response to his circumstances. If he had married someone else, would he still have cheated on them? I get the sense that he has been searching for a "partner", which is something his wife fundamentally cannot be. She can't think beyond herself and her own feelings. He may be going about that in the worst possible way, but I think I can see what led him to those wrong actions. I don't think he loves his wife (who could?).
I suspect when the affair was discovered and he was faced with divorce, he feared losing his kids. He was a high school math teacher in 2010, income in the ballpark of $50k a year if he had average compensation for the time. You can't live on that very easily, and definitely not afford a good divorce lawyer, a new place to live, etc. He would not have gotten custody of his kids, and she's the sort of person who, in my opinion, would use those kids as leverage in a divorce. He was trapped. He haplessly followed his own dick straight into that trap, that's on him, but he was trapped nonetheless. That's why he agreed to his wife's insane terms.
And her terms were insane. To forgive the guilty (her husband), he had to be complicit in punishing the innocent (you). He again made the wrong choice. I don't think good decision making or ethics are really his strong suit. But he was objectively in a difficult situation, and made the same wrong choices that many would when faced with the same dilemma. That does not excuse his actions, but I think it goes a long way toward explaining them.
Some will say your father groomed your mother. There may be some truth to that. I wasn't there, I can't discount that possibility. However, it is equally likely that a man in a menial job, with a modest income, stuck in a loveless marriage was presented with an opportunity for a hot, legal, but younger woman (your mom), and the mentor/protege relationship that often exists between teacher and student was easily misconstrued by both of them as romantic interest. Her with a youthful naivety and him being so miserable that your mother offered the prospect of what he had been denied in his own marriage. That again does not excuse what happened, but may be a viable explanation. Don't jump to any conclusions on this. You weren't there, and there are many nuances to such situations that the internet will disregard. The truth is, how it happened is not your concern, it's between your parents and is not a reflection on you in the slightest.
Where to go from here:
• Reach out to the estranged aunt. She can keep a viable line of communication open if/when you siblings decide to reach out again.
• Discontinue contact with your siblings for now. If they reach out again, feel free to talk to them. They are adults, their mother doesn't speak for them. But take a step back and give the dust some time to settle. Tell the aunt of this decision so she knows the situation and can convey this message discreetly.
• Your father... I get the sense he's somewhat hapless, beaten down by life (and wife, lol), he lacks a spine or any sense of moral direction. I'm not going so far as to say he's a bad guy in general, just a complete schmuck, lol. I don't think this is the time to reach out to him. Right now, he'll be a liability in your life, more than an asset. That may change later on, but until there's a clear sign it has changed, there's not much up-side to pursuing this, other than to indulge your own curiosity.
• Your Father's Wife. She sound horrible. That may not be a fair assessment, as she seems to have somehow raised some great kids. But she will obviously never be to you what she is to them. Your existence makes her feel bad, and we know when she feels bad, she lashes out in a bad way. That is well established. I suspect she will eventually alienate her family, becoming the partially estranged relative that is only invited to family functions out of a sense of obligation. She will drive a wedge between herself and her kids, as she did her husband. She already has at least one daughter who fights with her and by her own admission "wanted to hurt her". If she's content on self-destruction, step back and let it happen. You don't need to antagonize or instigate anything, she is her own worst enemy. You can't hurt her half as bad as she will hurt herself. Just keep your distance. Side-note, check the balance on that gift card before using it, lol. It sounds petty, but petty is her home-run swing.
• Your Mother. Tell her to stand down. She wants to rush to your defense. That's natural. Tell her you're content to put this on hold for now, and may re-evaluate your position later on with regard to that side of the family, but now is not the right time. You have made progress, introductions have been made, they know how to get ahold of you. A good start is enough for now. Reassure her she has been a good mother to you, and while you've not doubted that, your encounter with your father's wife has provided a stark contrast and help you appreciate your own mother more.
Beyond that, double-down in school. Maybe work a bit harder in mathematics. That might be a way to connect with your father over a common interest if and when the time comes and you choose to pursue it. It won't hurt to try, there's no down-side to that. It's not quite leaving the door open for him with any expectations, but to extend the door metaphor, it's way of leaving a key under the mat, should he ever come knocking.
You also keep questioning your own worth. They don't decide your worth, YOU do. But if it helps, there's a pretty simple solution. Just pick a random person every day and pay them a compliment. Not something generic, something specific to them, their skills and interests, their insights. Be genuine in that praise. When you see the good in others, it makes it easier for them to see the good in you. That can do remarkable things for one's confidence without leading to arrogance or false-bravado. You will feel better if you do this. If nothing else, you will be much happier in life than the relentlessly squawking albatross slung around your father's neck, lol. (she's 15, she should get that reference, lol)
2nd Story -
I am so very sorry. I absolutely believe you, and I hope so many horrible things happen to him. He sounds EXACTLY like one of my older brothers, and please know that at least one person in the world can completely commiserate with you. 🤬
If you find out someone is cheating and choose to stay with them (prob not the choice I'd make, but your life not mine) you don't get to PUNISH the kid over it. Its not the kids fault.
I agree. The child is the innocent party. But this leads to gray areas. I don't think a man should pay child support if a woman cheated and got pregnant. It's not his kid. But as I said, gray areas
"Dearest step-mon.
Thank you for the gift card and your heartfelt note. You really showed me how bad my upbringing has been. You see, to my savage, uncivilised eyes it would appear that you are putting your selfish wants above your family. Clearly, I am mistaken.
Only a kind hearted soul, such as yourself, would bother to send a beautiful, hand written note to a 15 year old explaining so eloquently, and free of spite or malice, the error of her ways. I'm sure you could understand how I might have felt my actions were innocent, when I was contacted by my half-siblings, but I see now that them reaching out to me unprompted was just a result of my own manipulations to worm my way back into my fathers life, and ruin your perfect marriage.
I understand now, that I am to blame for his infidelity. There is no possible way that you are to blame.
Signed. OP."
God damn... i can taste the sarcasm
I love this. Stepmonster is a colossal bitch and I'm starting to wonder if this is a factor in her husband's serial cheating. She seems very manipulative and spiteful, and chronically stupid if she can blame kids for the actions of their parents, not to mention entitled thinking she has the right to send a child such a disgusting message.
@@sinbadwilliams7186 we all can but do you think the step mom will?
@@susioeandno1else seeing how she acts I wouldn't be surprised if she took white out and rewrote the letter just to satisfy her delusional ego
God dam, perfection
Story 1: the step mom need a to stop being a tyrant, divorce the cheater and not tell her grown adult children who they can/can’t talk too
Story 1: response is "Your family wanted to talk to me. I never looked for them, and I now know my dad is a serial cheater. The problems you have are not because of me. Again, your children sought me out. They can make their own decisions, like you make your own."
also looks like he was a groomer
Yeah I think she needs to be told that her kids are adults and she needs to just butt out. If she doesn't like it tough she needs to just deal with it. Well, I don't endorse her husband cheating on her. I guess with a bad personality like that she certainly doesn't discourage it.
Feel bad for OP in stoy 1. She'll probably never know true family until she makes her own.
wonders if story 1, that letter is enough for op to go to a lawyer and sue the siblings bio mom for parental and familial alienation
Would that would work? especially if the mom decides to divorce the dad, and take everything because there’s evidence of him cheating and having a child because of the cheating?
S2, brother is a psychopath and they didn't do anything because they were afraid he'd hurt them.
Story 2 I think it's a case of letting the world take care of the brother, he can't control himself and prison is waiting
S1: what the father did was wrong, yes but the wife attacking OP is just shameful. It sounds like OP just started hs yet the wife is attacking this child and hurting her children too. She sure loves talking about "in my family, we put others before ourselves and aren't selfish" and says "idk how you do things in your family but you're being selfish." If you're telling multiple childern (yes, ik the older siblings are young adults) that they are selfish for wanting to be a family, then you're an ah to keep family apart. She should have just divorced the father along time ago
She's gaslighting
OP should have scanned the letter and sent it to her half brother.
2nd story reminds me of a slightly similar but also slightly different story I heard on Reddit. OP’s golden child sister was rightfully called out by her, and forced to face the consequences of her own actions… only for OP’s mom to shoot her with a shotgun twice. OP luckily survived and her mom was sent to prison for like 15 years. 😬
Story 1 that family has never been happy because she allowed toxic ass shit in to the family
Story 1: the more she stays away the more the Stepmother's life is ruin. no offense her children hate her because she allowed her husband to ruined their childhood 😒
It's really creepy that OP's dad persues affairs with his barely legal, former students.
Ladies, please do not EVER confront men like this alone!!!
S2: The brother and people like him can change and mend their ways all they want, but at the end of the day, its up to their victims to forgive them or not. No one is owned forgiveness.
Its difficult not to resent affair children but the wife should have just left that cheating pos. Based on her kids kindness she may well have been a sweet person before all this but that bitterness is clearly ruining her personality and relationships.
Story 2: I bet the girl OP genuinely likes felt stupid and guilty for not believing what OP said
Step back for awhile and try again later
Afraid kids are not the ones responsible for their parents affair, it really shouldn't have to be said.
What does ftm mean?
Female to male
Leave
First
❤️❤️❤️
Story 2: the whole family is messed up. One sibling is a psychopath, another is a drug addict, the third decided to as a child to change ganders, real stable family right there. Also, I don’t buy the sob story, sound like over exaggerated nonsense to me that OP uses for sympathy points
We get it you got passed around by your uncles
Story 3: Why does OP have to pay for everything? You're not his parents and he's not 3 yrs old. Just because you don't want to start over trying to find a new BF doesn't mean you stay with a piece of garbage. Being alone is not the end of the world. Don't pay to have a Boyfriend.
Teenage writers take fckng forever to get to the gddmn point.
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