What a waste it's sad, women shouldn't have embrassed the feminist narrative. Hook-up is not good for them, mother nature didn't intend hook-ups for women, it affects women's brain in a very damaging way. People should share sincere love and not lust toward each other how it's usual on Tinder. Hook-up is easier because it's not so serious and cause less pain but it's also short and less fulfilling in the mean time. This is why you become addicted like junk food, porn/masturbation, and so on. I wish you to find love(relationship) it's a high vibrancy than desire low vibrancy (hook-ups) on the scale of Hawkins. I wish you to find true love.
dogsarebetter It's weird how in the end of the day the sexual freedom promoted and fought so much for by liberals and feminists, both men and women, resulted to benefit mostly men. Ofc it helped normalize sex and in a way ease the social stigma around women's sexuality, but when did it start becoming brainwashing? Crazy lol
A man who had sex before marriage is likely to be unsatisfied with his future wife. A woman who had sex before marriage is likely to be more insecured and akward when he do it with her future husband. Why take the risk of endagering your marriage. For 20 minutes of pleasure?
I personally don't understand how people can be physically intimate with someone who is basically a stranger to them. I need to be in love with someone and know that they reciprocate my feelings to get anywhere near sex. I'm not sure if this is to do with my introversion though - we tend to seek deeper, more meaningful connections with people in general, and that's why many introverts have few but deep friendships. I assume it's the same with relationships and sex.
How do you not comprehend that it is fine for two adults to fulfill their sexual urges with each other, without having to commit to a relationship and all the baggage that comes with?
@@crozecamp Please read my comment again. I didn't condemn casual sex in any way. People are allowed to indulge and express themselves however they want. I emphasised things clearly from my perspective and experience (I 'personally') - I just cannot understand how people are able do it - as in for me, it almost grosses me out to think of having sex with someone I do not have strong feelings for. I simply made a connection to what I feel is deeply tied to how I am in terms of my introversion. I cannot keep surface-level friendships either, as I need them to be deep and meaningful to me otherwise I lose interest. Was simply making an observation and in no way was saying it is wrong. It's just foreign to me.
@@crozecamp Ever heard of masturbation? Sex is a very intimate thing, I'd go as far to say that it is the most intimate act you can partake with someone else, why would you do that with someone that you basically don't care about, or that shares no mutual feelings for you? Isn't that the closest thing to fucking a plastic doll? Is much like your dog humping your leg, but at least your dog feels something for you. I'm not saying that people should wait until marriage to have sex, I just think that it is something that you do with someone that you know well and have an high level of intimacy with, it just doesn't make sense to me otherwise.
Television is partly to blame. Tv shows promote this type of thinking, about how having sex 24/7 with friends, coworkers, strangers, etc is normal, and that not forming any type of relationship with said person other than "sex buddy" is perfectly reasonable. I've never liked it, and its sending the wrong messages to teens.
You are making a point, but on the other hand television and movie companies often get their revenue from we consuming their content. The law of "supply-and-demand" is at play here. Even if you and I may be sceptical towards the hook-up culture in certain areas or its entirity there is still quiet a broad interest for this type of content in popular culture. Why is that?
@@addeade231 you're making all sorts of assumptions like free will really is free will which it's most likely not. Most people like what they are being exposed to over time (Google "mere exposure effect")
I am living here in the US now for the past 4 years. I want to say hook up culture is so sad. People don't want to date and connect. When I meet women at a party or event, I see a human. If I am in a strip club then it's a lust. When I am having conversations then I am trying to know that person and make a connection. I cannot do hookups because I am not a mean person.
I think that hook up culture definitely affects people wanting a commitment in a negative way. People think that hook ups make them happy because they are promoted but in fact they leave you feeling lonely and unloveable. This was a very important video!
One more thing, men are naturally wired to not want promiscuous women. And women are naturally wired to want emotional relationships which can't happen if you people are promiscuous. It's a loss for both, but it's a worse deal for women and they don't understand it. Even if men don't find good women they still have a higher chance to find another later on. But as women get older, they become less attractive.
I notice that the people who hookup the most are emotionally broken people (which is obvious) and just use casual sex as a way to fill up a void and it’s really sad. I know I shouldn’t shame these people but it makes me pity them a lot. Casual sex is so embedded in our culture that it’s hard for me to trust a man. I cant really tell if he wants me for me or wants me for sexual stuff.. Sometimes it makes me self conscious that I’m the only girl in my group who doesn’t have active sex while all my friends are enjoying it. Some of them even laugh at me or look at me weirdly. What ever happened to actual intimacy? I’m not trying to sound like an incel or anything btw, im not a complete virgin or saint.
I'm a man and have chosen to be celibate for 5 years. There's still some out there. Men who use their brains know that the quick fix is not going to lead to a good legacy. Men live for legacies. Also, I have noticed that hook up culture has lead many women to believe that showing up for a date in pajamas is okay. It's not, ever, okay 😂 but hang in there, stick to what you want, and don't feel insecure about it. If you wanted to, you know you could have thousands of men lining up to use your body. Why be used, when you have so much more to offer?
THIS, there's so much pressure to "have fun" and live your life and be spontaneous when it comes to the topic of casual sex,whether that be from yourself or others. I cant tell you the amount of times I got down on myself because I felt like I wasn't really living or I was jealous of my friends escapades because I just wasnt willing or built to have casual sex like that. It took a long time for me to honor myself and my own desires and be realistic about what I can handle instead of comparing myself to other people
What most simps, feminist fe/males, white-knights, betas and conservative guys fail to realize: bad boys provide excitement, novelty, unpredictability and fun (fear, roller-coaster drama) to a new level. In other words, stability and commitment (no longer) won't cut it for today's 🦄. Why is that? Before she was your girlfriend, wife or lover, she already had been "run through" so many guys. And each time she slept with someone (both wo/men), she lost a part of her psyche, well-being or mind/soul/spirit. In other words, she is no longer able to have emotional attachment in a healthy or committed way. Feminist's Ideology from Sheryl Sandberg, chief operating officer of Facebook: "My advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier." *Sex and Culture* by Joseph Daniel Unwin *The Rational Male Series* by Rollo Tomassi *The Manipulated Man* by Esther Vilar *The Myth of Male Power* by Warren Farrell *The Feminist Lie: It Was Never About Equality* by Bob Lewis *Anatomy of Female Power* by Chinweizu Ibekwe *Men on Strike* by Helen Smith *Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars: An Introductory Programing Manual* by Anonymous Isaiah 3:12 *Childish* leaders oppress my people, and *women* rule over them. O my people, your leaders mislead you; they send you down the wrong road. Proverbs 31:3 Don't give your strength (attention, resources, mental point origen) to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings. Ezekiel 23:20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
My husband told me that the reason why he was so intrigued by me was because of how I carry myself in a world where most women conduct themselves differently than how women used to back then. But despite my quietness and reserved nature, I am very fiery and I stand firm with my belief. He always say that he loves my inner voice, strength and belief system. And yes, I never slept with anyone before him. And he found that very, very special. He said he wished he could have saved himself for me too. But I wasn’t judgmental. It was the way he was brought up and his choice as an adult. What bind us together is our love and respect for each other. And that is more powerful that all of these new belief systems people advocating for.
Your husband sounds lowkey hypocritical, he’s talking bad about women who aren’t virgins and yet he himself isn’t s virgin. He’s just being hypocritical and perpetuating a double standard that had existed for centuries.
@@alaaye5237 How is he hypocritical? He stated that he wished he saved himself for her, so clearly he has some regret about his past. She brought that out of him, people change. Just because he might have went through a promiscuous stage does not mean that he hasn't evolved into someone who values more meaningful relationships now.
Poochy But that’s the thing, the people in the comments are acting as if people who aren’t virgins can’t have fulfilling relationships. The people who are virgins seemed to think that they’re better for not having sex but they aren’t. There are plenty of good people who aren’t virgins and plenty of bad people who are. I’m a virgin myself but I’m not acting all high and mighty, praising myself because I’m still “pure”. What y’all are saying are just generalizations. In reality her husband is a hypocrite because he’s hating on girls who aren’t virgins but I bet he doesn’t really see himself having sex with a few people in the past as a problem. All you guys are doing is encouraging a double standard for women. Majority of the guys in the comments aren’t virgins and yet they expect women to be virgins... how does that work? Why is that fair? Y’all just need to mind your own business and respect people’s sexual choices. Especially since nowadays the amount of people having sex in their teens is less than it was in previous generations.
i didnt realize how big a problem this was until my friends started poking fun at me for wanting to wait until marriage (apparently an extremely rare trait in men), thanks for addressing this.
haha, true. & people act like condoms are a free-pass to be hoe status. Condoms are more effective at preventing pregnancy, not STIs. Most STIs can be transmitted through skin to skin contact.
Not just Stds/HIV... I had just kissed a guy and that was it and got the flu!! Just imagine with the Coronavirus or any other superbug that gets out.. Would spread like wildfire through this "culture" of hookups and low self esteem. Don't even kiss them until you know they are safe!!
@@painexotic3757 Sure. I have friends that have as well. Friends that had kids on the pill. Friends that got std's using contraception etc... Never heard of knowledge?
Every time I try to hook up with a girl, I feel kind of empty and treacherous afterwards. I've never had a sexual encounter that didn't feel as if it was laying the groundwork for something more meaningful. Whenever I've tried to have a 'one night stand', I've had to cut the person off fairly ruthlessly afterwards and it's never comfortable. Hook up culture? Not a fan. If you're going to get intimate with someone then understand that the word intimate means intimate; it's never entirely devoid of emotion or attachment because sex is a mechanism for creating emotional attachment anway. Trying to 'hit and run' is like eating the icing off a cupcake. Not as good as the whole cupcake.
Max Gorlov agreed. Every time I’ve hooked up with someone (with the exception of one person) the friendship has gotten complicated and ultimately gone by the wayside. In my opinion, and while sex can certainly be a beautiful expression of love, try to abstain as long as possible with someone your dating because everything changes afterwards. As for one night stands, They are absolutely toxic to the soul.
I believe this "hookup culture" encouragement will be devastating for generations to come because of the psychological effect's casual sex has towards pair bonding, for both men and women.
Hookup culture broke my heart. I thought I could do it, but I ended up falling in love with a man who threw me away the minute I wanted something more. I felt disposable and flawed because everything seemed to be going really well and we got along so well. We were so compatible so it didn’t make sense to me how he didn’t have feelings for me. It turned out I was just a toy for him to play with when he was traveling away from home. (I discovered he was married and cheating with me after the fact and it made it so much worse for me to deal with).
I feel terrible for you and the wife of this disgusting man ! But if I am honest I really don't understand modern society. Women cry about being sexualized by men while sexualizing themselves in the name of feminism and "women empowerment". If you don't want to be treated like an object, then don't offer yourself like an object. I'm deeply sorry to say that and you can insult me as well, but I really hope you learned from this experience..
@@konanxhidan3202 You’re making assumptions now. I didn’t do it for empowerment or feminism. I got out of a bad breakup and I wasn’t ready for commitment so I wanted someone purely for the intimacy. He sexualized me and I did the same to him. The problem isn’t that I let him sexualize me... the problem is that I let it continue even after I realized I wanted more with him. So, yes, I am partly at fault for putting myself in this situation and letting it continue when it stopped being fun and started becoming emotionally hurtful, but that doesn’t make him any less guilty of his wrongdoings. I don’t understand why you have to make a comment trying to shame me when I obviously already know this. Not helpful at all
@@markusgarcia4136 Logic isn’t always easy to follow when you have feelings for someone, but judging from the fact you thought this comment was some sort of revelation, I don’t expect you to understand. Thanks for commenting the obvious.
@Big Booty Libertarian if I had to guess I'd say at least 40. She's told me about many of her encounters but I don't think she's told me about all of them.
I recently deleted my dating accounts because I kept meeting men who were emotionally unavailable, willing to lie, pretend or be vague about the fact they weren't looking for anything meaningful. I lost faith that I will meet someone who's actually wanting to feel something real and wanting a connection that's far deeper than sex. I'm not into hookups, situationships or FWB so it's meant that I'm now single and not ready to mingle lol
I don't understand how people can casually have sex with random people... There is just no way I could give my body to someone without also giving my heart, my mind and my soul. I think one of the biggest problem in our society is disconnection resulting in a lack of consciousness and awareness. A lot of people are fragmented and disconnected from themselves unfortunately these days so are therefore not connected with their emotions so are lost and confused. I believe reconnection with the higher self would be the answer.
@@hakeemsd70m I guess we are :) Theres people who don't understand the lifestyle or values of others so they choose to bash and criticize , of course this shithole over lmao
For me a sexual relationship means I am committed to that person for life, and I would only participate if the same type of commitment is being offered in return. In my personal view, anything short of this cheapens who I feel I am and what I feel I deserve, and it's the same type of respect I want to offer a partner. I know this view is rare, and it's hard to find these days, but I find myself really respecting people who value themselves in this same way.
Too many hook ups (each person with their own threshold) destroys a person's ability to pair bond. Once the ability is gone, the only thing left is the instant gratification of a hook up as a lifestyle. Essentially these people will never look for a mate, much less find one.
“Hook-up” = a temporary physical interaction, generally disconnected from one’s deeper mental/emotional/spiritual self. Typically is a subconscious form of pain relief and self- medication, and results in widening of the gap between where one “is” (a place of discomfort or discontent) and where one needs to be (a state of balance, harmony, and integration).
Well the reality is men and women are not equal in front of hook-up. It builds men to find themself while it destroys women to left them miserable and lost. Surprise men and women are different !
tshaolin971 I’m a straight male and one night stands and hook ups have only served to be toxic to my soul. I need a relationship context for that so perhaps I’m the male exception.
@@tshaolin971 You're never going to convince anyone as a hypocrite. Cut out the double standards. This is coming from a man against "hook-up culture." It's nothing but unfulfilling, degrading, and impulsive instant gratification seeking nonsense, but you have the freedom to make bad decisions if you choose to.
What I'd like to point out is how much social pressure this hook-up culture has generated, both on men and women. In my case, I've been told a couple of times that I'm like a nun, and honestly I find it ridiculous. I mean, I'm not even virgin, I'm just not into casual sex and only get physical when the relationship is already serious. What's wrong with that? Why on earth should I engage on casual sex when I don't even like it? My ex is getting through a similar thing, as a matter of fact. I hate it how some friends of his like to label him as not-macho just because he doesn't go around fucking every single couple of boobs and pussy. What I think about this is: you wanna have sex with a different person every single day? Ok. You wanna wait til marriage? Ok. You wanna have sex only when having an emotional connection as well? Ok. I mean, DO WHATEVER YOU WANT BUT FOR GOD'S SAKE, DON'T MAKE PEOPLE FEEL LIKE THEY SHOULD BEHAVE JUST LIKE YOU!
The biggest problem with hookup culture is that when someone who is only looking for a hookup meets someone who wants a committed relationship, but doesn't communicate the fact that they only want sex from that person. Let's face it, the people who do this, both men AND women, know very well when they are deceiving the other person. This is a huge problem in today's society, especially for those who want to build something solid, real and committed. True love, a family, growing old together. Love for life.
I've been going with my gut with this 2 month relationship and I haven't had sex. Went real slow on the intimacy and had it organically grow to something more meaningful. It's exclusive and official and we both respect each other's boundaries and expectations. I feel like jumping straight into sex would ruin the relationship imo because you didn't allow for something emotional to grow into that relationship. Just my perspective as a male seeing a ton of failed relationships.
I would not be surprised if loads of casual relationships turn people Cynical or bad at commitment. i can't imagine how the divorce numbers will be in 10-20 years. Divorce should not be considdered normal, atleast when young children are involved. Bra at du snakker om sånt som dette, får håpe vi snart fremmer forpliktelse fremfor promiskuitet, for begge kjønn.
I'm a young woman and all I've ever wanted is to be in a loving committed relationship. Time and time again I will get to know so one and it will be great until we sleep together, it seems as soon as they get their desires for filled they feel free to run off. For me this has been traumatic. Sometimes I feel as though I am being tricked in to bed. After learning the hard way over and over, with little hope left and my emotions wounded, I abstain from sex altogether, as I know I want a real relationship and I don't beleive I will ever get what I want until it is agreed between both people before sex.
@Yash Yadav Are you a woman, because if you commit to hook up culture it fries you're ability to pair bond, it is one of the greatest assets of being a woman, it makes you stay committed to one partner, it makes you love you're children unconditionally, you'll lose you're womanly instincts to make everything clean and beautiful, ohh women that tends to have a high body count can't take care of their own, depression and anxiety follows in later years, 2 past sexual partners for a woman is already detrimental. Surround yourself with caring people, value you're self, don't be desperate in finding a boyfriend there's a chance you might land a desperate guy or chads who migth take advantage of you're body. The best thing you can do is put it on you're standard, sexual intercourse is in you're marriage, if he can't accept that then he can only bring harm to you. Don't worry sweety there will be men much higher value men that will love and will take care of you.
@Yash Yadav Im Roman Catholic man, but I love you brother, base on my experience in the library and girls that rises early in the morning are down to earth and did not participate in casual hookups, hookup girls will be drained by being filled they don't want to go out of bed.
These videos are really running the gambit, I like it! Personally, I have decided to maintain my virginity until marriage (or an equally binding situation with a partner). I feel like it will make the relationship more permanent if I’ve committed myself to that person in the important area of sexual connection. I also believe that upholding that standard will naturally attract prospective partners who share similar values of commitment, which are the kind of people that I am interested in dating. Ben Shapiro describes sexual promiscuity like reusing tape, where the more you hook-up with random people (like connecting two pieces of tape and then ripping them apart), the less sticky the tape becomes, and the less emotionally fulfilling the sex becomes. It’s a silly analogy, but I think it makes sense with the theory of quality over quantity. Maybe I’m just naive about sexuality, but for now that’s the moral standard that I’m sticking with.
@@LanaBlakely Not sure about that exact tape quote, but here's a video where he expands upon various aspects of marriage ruclips.net/video/tvZwAonaRUk/видео.html And another similar one by JP: ruclips.net/video/-rXow867YB8/видео.html
Thanks all for the comments! I can’t pick out the specific time he said it because it was in one of his daily podcasts a few months back. But if you look up “Ben Shapiro” and “Marriage” you will find many instances of him explaining his viewpoint. I don’t completely agree with everything that he says about relationships, but I think that he is usually well-informed and logical.
That's so relatable and exactly the truth of the modern relationships!!!! And this affects men too..some guys are just doing it cuz of peer pressure and just for lame things without the intention of a commitment and the modern society encourages it!!! Modern relationships have changed from "love" oriented to "lust" oriented!!...Sexual freedom is definitely being abused a lot... I just think people must think before getting into it and and not end messed up..
Most men can do nothing except what women allow. It is the consequence of the imbalance between supply and demand. Half of the population lives swimming in attention and sex offer for free, the other half gets nothing effortlessly.
Came to this video after a hook-up i had last night. It wasn’t bad it just makes me feel like garbage the day after. Was the 3rd “hookup” of my life (im 21) Each time I saw why i wasn’t nowhere near appreciating this as a lifestyle for myself. This time though, I’m done for good. I love to feel special and appreciated both for my character and body. Hookup culture does not fulfill this.
I haven’t “hooked up” with anyone in 4 years, not since I last had a boyfriend. A lot happened with my health near death stuff and with family members passing I just haven’t wanted to have the potential of another heart break when im feeling already low. It hasn’t stopped guys from constantly asking to hangout late at night and straight up talk about wanting to hookup despite being clear once they pushed it the first time. the longer i stay celibate the more it actually bothers me how open guys are with being pushy and perverted. Its like there’s no barriers for respect anymore. Thinking about common curtesy back in the day and getting permission from parents by the guy just to even go on a date is something seriously lacking. It seems sad to be in a world that people are used and discarded if they’re willing to give the other anything at all. Im sure the tables will turn in time maybe when everyone gets stds and suffers enough that they have no choice but to put off instant gratification to actually stop and think about the best choice on all levels for one individual partner. Also the fact birth control even exists isn’t a help and I’m slowly seeing that starting to be an issue with so many hormonal struggles beginning thanks to it.
I'm a guy in graduate school. My house mate is from a different state, and within a day of him moving in, he had a girl over at our house hooking up with her. He's hooked up with four different girls since and completely cuts them off afterwards. I didn't know people did stuff like that.
I'm the 15% (woman). I agree with you in general, the real problem is that, for women, there is the hook up culture and then there is the "judging" culture at the same time. basically you're encouraged to be free and explore but also called a slut if you do (or simply treated like one). men don't have this type of problem, because of the old fairy tale that for them it's a "biological instinct".
8scatterbrain8, here’s your dilemma in sexual economics terms. Women control a seller’s market of sexual access and use it as a bargaining tool for commitment, the market that men control. If a woman sells too low and too frequently through many casual encounters, her competitors who are maintaining the high price of sexual access get pissed and shame label her ‘slut’ as a deterrent. However, if a woman wants to express her NATURAL sex drive, she has to be careful of how many partners she sells to, or at least how many of her competitors hear about it. The solution? Discreet encounters. If I’m mistaken about any of this, please point out how.
I don't believe that 100% of the 85% men, as u might be implying, are following you just bc they find you attractive. I would say many who do is bc it is fresh to see a woman with your more "moderate" and objective ideology on RUclips given that it can be difficult to find men AND women in popular media today who do. It's also wonderful to see another fan of Peterson.
She never said that. She said that she would like to hear both perspectives (male and female) on the topic of hookup culture. She merely mentioned the 95% male viewership because she realizes that she won't get both perspectives. She added the "yeah" for comedic effect.
@@marcelhidalgo1076 And she doesn't have the male perspective either, because men are rarely sincere in their opinion about "hookup culture" and their personal experience in it. Almost all men are forced to maintain the lie that the effects of "hookup culture" are symmetrical in men and women, because they have been taught to believe that lack of symmetry (and the superabundance of male sex offer in which women live swimming) is a personal failure and not a structural characteristic of sexual dynamics. That is why men "lie up", inventing girlfriends and partners they never had, adopting ridiculous poses and behaviors just because they believe that society (or women) expect them as men to adopt. In the same way, women "lie down" and hide every trace of many of the boyfriends and partners they have had before the new ones, and see their promiscuity as a "serial monogamy." One of the main problems of the hookup culture is not promiscuity, but widespread insincerity, absolute hypocrisy, lies enthroned everywhere. Everything is fake, scenery and stretch.
@@manuelmanzanero5057 This was refreshing to read because I’ve also noticed hypocrisy and lies by both men and women who say hooking up is great, but how can it be great if women are constantly talking about how used they feel, or men constantly complain about how all women are hoes and just use them for money, but still have no problem hooking up with them? People need to be more honest with themselves. Hook up culture in my opinion does more harm than good which is why I stay clear or it or any one who acts like it’s the best thing ever.
I don’t really have anything against hookup culture, but getting pregnant on accident with someone you barley know is horrifying, so I avoid casual hookups, even causal dating scares me cause you never know.
I like hearing you speak intelligently. Nice to know there is some brains to go along with that beauty. You are pretty and nerdy without being a goober. I think hookup culture is gross and it is very difficult to date in the hookup culture if you want substance in relationships. Everybody just wants in your pants if you are decent looking. It is very tiresome. I have had it happen so many times. Go on a date have a good time and the other person expects sex on a first or a second date. It is very surprising at times. I give up dating all together for awhile at times and just hang out with my xbox on some days and spoil my daughter with family time and going out in the world goofing off. I think a lot of sex with people you hardly know cheapens the experience.
Yes it’s best to have sex inside committed relationships and many problems we have today could be avoided if everyone did that. People who hook up regularly are more at risk of unwanted pregnancies, single motherhood, abortions, STDS, etc so having sex in a long term relationship is much more safe and I think more emotionally fulfilling too because you’re having sex with someone you love and care about. I don’t think people need to get married or have sex before marriage. I’m pro premarital sex but at least have sex with someone you’re together with at least
I agree with you. Although Hookup culture is harming young girls and women, and even young people in general. And Of course adults. Because I think hookup culture is also harming adolescent girls because it also put them in so much danger in grooming, sexualization and etc.
I was so happy to hear your point of view. I completely agree. I am living single & celibate by choice. It's a happy, peaceful life. When I see the torment so many people go through, which they volunteer for, it confirms for me, that my peaceful life with occasional flashes of excitement is a better way to live. One friend who was so sure that the hook up culture was a good life, was dumped by a SO and was so devastated, committed suicide. So very sad.
@Yash Yadav I'm unsure as to whether other female friends feel the same as me or not. When we talk, we speak of other topics. I know this is the best way to live, for me.
Although many people may find religion to be backwards and not fitting with the modern time, it is very valuable. I don’t understand or agree with everything in my religion but what I do know is that religion understands human behavior. The rules that religion has are for the prevention of mistakes that people tend to make.
I want to find a woman like this. Someone who has a strong backbone, who’s understanding, and free with their thoughts. Someone who I can genuinely respect, and have an intelligent conversation with without sex being a driven factor. My town is filled with easy, undesirable people. My mind is free, willing to support anyone deserving of the love and mental happiness I can help provide them.
It's such a breath of fresh air to come across a comment like this. I've been engaging in intellectual conversations for about 5 years now, but most men around me are intimidated by strong, opinionated women. Sometimes, they will even smart-shame them if they feel like their "masculinity" is being challenged. I hope you'll find the woman of your dreams, and the same goes for me.
Men who have self respect do not settle for those who partake in the hookup culture. Traditional men are out there, and they only have desire to search for women who act traditionally.
Frost. I respect your opinion...but have you ever thought that maybe “nontraditional ways are also a method to social control?” 🤯🤯 Unfortunately there’s often agendas on all sides I guess we just have to see which side we want to be on
Hookup culture becomes so addicting that it feels like a masterbation addiction and when that time comes to settle down, things don’t go to well which leads onto getting bored so easily and cheating.
tshaolin971 it is, I have friends who are married and they still go out and sleep around because they did this stuff before they got married. And what’s shocking to me is that married men get better results with women than single men. It’s better to avoid hookup culture cause you get caught up in shitty situations were you get hurt, most likely catch STDs, and some people get to a point were they get sick of the opposite gender and want to experience the same gender. Women become lesbians after they slept around a lot and even men become homosexuals after they slept around and hung out with too many women.
@@DavidZee888 "Married men are getting better results than single men" I'm not surprised, rich become richer and poor poorer ! The dynamic is hard to convert the other way around, unless you make a 180 switch in your mind. - Nikola Tesla said if you want to find the secret of universe think in terms of energy, frequency and vibrations.- Hook-up is based on desire and if you look on Hawkins' scale of counsiousness desire is a very low energy. Love is what you find in meaningful relationships it's a high level energy on the same scale, so it will give you fullfilment. While on the other hand hook-up will cause degenerency, so yeah I'm not surprised they turn have sexual intercourse with gays, lesbians or even transgenders. This is dramatic because they are not aware of it.
Thats because you haven't experienced real love....you're only on superficial levels with someone if you're "getting bored" and are easily swayed into cheating....the hookup stuff before is not to blame....look deeper.
Carla actually the hookup culture is a bad thing and people decide to go for it. It effects women more than men because women have a hard time pair bonding with their future mates after they had all those experiences with different partners. And a female who is promiscuous ends up being miserable and her value drops in the eyes of men Experiences in hookup culture doesn’t benefit women at all, it changes their behavior and in the end, she will find it hard to get with a soulmate.
I agree with you overall, however I think promiscuity should be completely discouraged and stigmatized. The normalization of promiscuity is how we got to the place we are now
Also why did no one question why it was stigmatized in the first place? It's probably for a reason. Many people nowadays don't think about anything before they act.
My girlfriend and I talk about this so much and I'm really glad to hear you talk about it too. One night stand culture is one of the most dangerous things to be a part of. That being said I don't think there should be a law or anything stopping that. But most people's opinions towards it is too innocent and again genuinely dangerous
You're right...it depends on the individual. Btw, I'm a woman. As for me, I prefer emotional intimacy... hookups just left me feel empty at the end of the day because I don't have a meaningful relationship. It kind of affects my mental health... especially because I'm the kind of person who's circle of relative closeness- family and friends is very small. And I've experienced emotional neglect in my childhood days. So casual sex often makes me feel like guys see me as a sex object...and nobody is seeing me as someone special. I used to feel unwanted...or thought that there is something wrong with me because I'm single...but then I grow older and realize my worth....I mean what can these people even offer me? They don't worth my time and it's my job to love myself.
as a young woman, I kind of prefer not to engage in romantic relationship, but from time to time I have casual sex, but it usually involves some good communication or friendship, otherwise I have a feeling of emptiness. I also noticed that instant one-night stands with strangers are the way of self-harm for me, because I mostly did so when I already felt bad. Finally, I’ve been in love, so I can compare and confirm that sexual contacts with the person I have feelings for is completely distinct (and much better) from any contacts without emotional commitment.
It’s good that you see what does and doesn’t work for you. I wish more people had sense to do this kind of self-introspection. It only benefits others when you do go against your own boundaries.
YES! Thank you for this! Personally, I think we all see the flaws in past stigmas and the ways that people lived, but somehow we're blind to the problems that we have in our cultures today.
As a teenager, I always wanted to be Joey from FRIENDS and Barney from How I Met Your Mother, but as of now, I want something pure with close emotional attachment.
personally, hookup culture is toxic for me bc i'm only willing to hook up with people i'm very sexually attracted to, and if i become intimate with someone i'm attracted to, i'm bound to get attached. i've never understood how people are able to have casual sex with zero emotions attached. i was "friends with benefits" with someone, and i was and still am attached to this person even though i know they don't care about me anymore. it was great while it lasted. but because i was attached and he wasn't, he's doing fine without me and i still miss him tremendously.,
Maybe I’m traditional, but I intend to keep my virginity till marriage. The reason isn’t solely based on virtue alone, but my subjective form of respect for my future spouse. Perhaps, many would consider it blind devotion, since it is never guaranteed that the other party would keep herself “untouched” as well, however, if I began to act that way, having premarital sex and whatnot, I don’t see how it would make me feel good about myself, or even better. If I’d be blunt, I’d rather have my first and only experience to be with my spouse, than have a number of memories that I may compare (in my head) of which is a better experience; I cannot live with that. One thing you mentioned was about the statement “beauty and brains”, which you said wasn’t a compliment and gave your reasons as to why. I never thought of it like that. Rather, I’ve never come across such an interpretation. I’ve said that quite a few times among my peers (of both men and women) with good intent; my analogy being, on the contrary of beauty being subjective, not everyone who is smart is beautiful, and not everyone who is beautiful is smart. I have no issues with your opinion, if I’d be honest, it would surely make me think twice if given the chance to say it. Nonetheless, good video.
You are so right. Just on a practical personal safety level you should be very conservative about who you are having sex with. Forget about all other reasons for a moment and just consider the health implications.
Herpes is really not that dangerous. I am not defending the hookup culture but I don't think STDs should be the reason why you stay away from hooking up.
@@ashishbhatt3467 If you educated yourself you would know that it isn't serious. But you just repeat what everyone else says. I love it when dumbasses who kniw nothing about medicine or biology tell otherd to educate themselves because they saw a meme on the internet.
@@kiraveritas164 every single disease is a serious concern even a common cold. I am an educated person. I have specifically master degree in microbiology, so i know what a disease is way better than you. A common influenza virus was mutated and became swine flu. Unchecked herpes might end up as deadly epidemic in future. Seriousle educate yourself, its not fun having herpes.
I’ve personally found over the years, my waiting until marriage for sex has been a decision which lands me in ridicule amongst friends. Most apparent are the women we go out with after work, once tipsy, most of them eventually dig at me until delivering some snarky remark like “Aww really, I feel sorry for you, you’re probably saying that because nobody wants to sleep with you”. What’s so hard to understand? Relationships are expensive… physically, financially, emotionally etc. What’s so wrong about prioritising study/work then dating once in a personally stable position? Wouldn’t that be better for everyone so as not to fall apart when relationships split? I think waiting until marriage shows you’re a morally strong individual who can reserve their love for the right person. “Doing it because everyone else is doing it” is a cheap and childish excuse which is why unfortunately, most teenagers lose their virginity instead of realising the sacred worth of reserving their first experience to be with their life partner. I respect everyone’s decisions though, even as I may not agree with them.
I think you make great points. I think that a big part of anxiety, depression, and things like that finding themselves reinforced comes from the lack of real and meaningful intimate connections. Being free is good... being encouraged is something else. It seems more like a manipulation coming from society and external forces.
I'm demisexual and there is nothing like hooked up in my dictionary. as someone who emotionally attracted to mental and emotional bonding, I felt really hard to find someone that could resonate with the lifestyle I had this far. a lot of guys coming toward me with I would say an " empty plate" which just able to offer such a hooked-up thing while on the other hand I always looking for more, something deeper than a damn hooked-up. I was wonder and question about what happened with everyone, I questioned where is the real human connection gone? by the time I wrote this comment, I really hope that people could stop taking other people for granted and start making a real thing such as a commitment relationship.
I lost my virginity to the man who was in a fraternity and who used to do causal hookups but when he started dating me he changed his ways and honestly if women or men knew their worth & the long-term consequences, they probably wouldn't be doing it
I’m curious if you are still in a relationship together? I also was in a very similar circumstance, he changed his ways, but I never felt right about it. It ate away at me every day. I could never imagine that kind of connection on surface-level, and that many times over a 3 year span. That, and that he was very religious and pushed the “I’m redeemed” agenda at me, but it never truly helped me feel better about it. Still felt like he took that from me but never valued it in the first place… I was just another one.
Finally, a video I can add to my favorites on this topic. Nobody seems to share my views on saving yourself for your partner and not just hooking up all the time.
Yeah Im a college student who needs the love, commitment, & emotional intimacy in a relationship -to me that's really what a relationship is all about.
This video really opened my eyes. I personally am sort of a feminist, and have always promoted the idea of hooking up, but I know realize what me and many others are doing wrong. I think the issue is that feminists and conservatives both promote a choice, but not the right to choose. Now, what I mean by that, is that feminists promote hooking up, but not the choice to hookup. Conservatives on the other hand usually promote the choice to not hookup, but not the choice. So, when someone who doesn't want to hookup see's feminists only promoting the idea of hooking up, they may feel left out and feel more comftorable with identifying with conservatives since their beliefs aline with theirs, and when a person who enjoys hooking up sees a conservative promoting the idea of not hooking up, they may identify more with the feminists as they make them feel less shameful. The issue with this that they are both right in a way and wrong. They are both right in a sense that it is ok to personally choose to hook up or to not hook up, but it isn't ok to only promote the choice and not the freedom to choose. They are also both wrong since they get mad at each other just for having a different choice. I think a way to fix this is to start promoting the freedom to choose, and that it is about what you are most comftorable with. Also accepting the fact that all because someone's opinion differs from theirs doesn't mean they are wrong, and that they both can be right or they can both be wrong.
I just can't tell you how content I, as a 21 year old girl, was to find this video! I think in every relationship, (romantic relationships not an exception), you should be respected. And just like in any other relationship, I want my romantic relationship to be built upon a solid ground of trust and respect to each one and another. In my opinion, it is heavily important to respect yourself and to gain that respect so that you can build a good sense of self worth that is going to give you power and stability to do so many things in life. No matter who you are, no one has got the right to judge you for waiting for the person that you can make this commitment with. As mentioned above, my concern is about all of you, but even you men and guys out there feeling the societal pressure to have sex with as many girls as possible just to be considered "manly enough". From a girls' perspective, what really means something is your loyalty, not how many girls you have slept with. I feel like this society, being built upon the principles of casual sex, is somehow just outwatering the essence of true stability, responsibility and comittment to one another. Even though you are a sensing human worthy of love and respect - not only an outer surface or a couple of nice symmetrical attributes.
Father here of two mid teenage sons. I've been trying to guide them towards the view that relationships are best, particularly when they are carried out with at least the possibility that they might lead to marriage. Both sons have slipped a bit when it comes to online communication and being rude etc., but I have stepped in where possible and told them that they should be respectful towards women. Looking forward to them both getting through this awful hook-up 'culture phase in their lives while they are at University (here in England), and to the time when they can bring home their future wives.
I'm a young woman 🙋♀️ Abt the Personal part: I think sexual desire just like any other desire should not be given in but controlled at times. I also feel like it should be sth special and not like a snack you grab when you're hungry. I personally connect sexuality to relationship bc it's sth so intimate. Abt the society part: I also feel like that currently in our society it's not freedom that is promoted anymore, but rather a certain kind of life/thinking but under the disguise of "freedom". I don't want to make my thinking abt all this into some conspiracy theory, however it does make me think alot abt why are those ppl doing this? Pushing certain ideas and disguising them as something else. I feel like we're currently under a mass manipulation and radical change of society in one direction and not for the better. It also seems like ppl are more and more losing the ability of critical thinking and dont realise all those disguises and that we are indeed going towards sth very authoritarian..But where do those ppl want to go with this? I mean for example promoting sexual activity instead of the freedom to decide what's best for you? What's the point?/
ok i'm a 23 year old girl from Pakistan and i will stay virgin until marriage, i totally think that as much as freedom is important, the education around spirituality and importance of basic human needs of connection and dependence should be discussed heavily too.
Adding to consequences, as a woman I think it’s important for people to talk about physical consequences too, not just emotional ones. There’s STIs involved and unwanted pregnancies. I feel like hook up culture really needs to emphasize the importance of sexual protection, or else there can be issues.
The problem with dating these days are people are so afraid of being hurt that they try to use physical intimacy as a substitute for an emotional one. Here's the hard truth. You don't deserve someone who is willing to put their own feelings on the line while you selfishly guard yours. I relationship takes 2 to work, and you have to put in the work. Otherwise you are stuck in a loop of hookups.
Well u may find that you have a majority male following due to us wishing more women were like you are. Can't speak for the others. But i know for myself i have found no value in this post modern female behavior, and find ypur videos refreshing and hopeful. Your obviously a beautiful woman. But thats a small part of the intrigue. The way you hold yourself, speak and beliefs are powerful to men. I wish it would catch on like wildfire. Looking back i would trade my entire teenage and mid 20s of "fun" and whatever, for a single life of whatever dificulties arose, for the chance that id meet a girl with these values. Thats saying something. There is countless of us that have settled or lowered our values due to lack of understanding of what is out there, if your just percistant. And im sure the same thing goes for good moral girls as well. So maybe the breakdoen is in the upbringing. And the teaching. Either way. Again. I hope this catches like wildfire.
I'm female. I mourn the apparent passing of the terms boyfriend and girlfriend which imply some sort of special connection which must obtain before you start sleeping together.
So many other factors play into this. Culture, bigger cities in oppose to smaller and personality type etc. Either or it doesn't make you a bad person or a good person the more or fewer partners. I think the social media age might have fanned the flames of other socio-movements making them having a bigger voice in the whole picture. Personally, I can only speak from my perspective. I've been with my fair share of partners, not because I wasn't looking for the one, just sorta went with things and people who found me attractive. Some blossomed into relationships and some nothing. I look back at the many different faces, ethnicities age ranges and smiles and think, oh what wonderful experiences. To have lived and loved many or none wasn't the outcome. I got to experience very intimate moments with really great people before and after. Sometimes its not about that level, but something more and that's fine.
i personally do not have a problem with people hooking up, i think that everyone should do whatever they want with their body. but at the same time, i do think hookup culture can be very damaging to certain groups such as asexuals, people who are waiting for marriage/the right person, people who need emotional connection to have sex with someone, etc. it makes them feel alienated or pressured to WANT to hook up with people bc this culture is so ingrained in our society. there is nothing wrong with people CHOOSING to hook up with people, but there's something seriously wrong with consistently promoting it thru mainstream media and shaming people who are not into casual sex. sexual freedom needs to encompass abstinence from sex and other ways of choosing to experience sexual encounters, aside from hook ups.
i'm a gay man and casual sex and hook ups are what people generally expect of me, even though behaving like this makes me unhappy and i rarely enjoy sex without intimacy or some kind of human emotion involved. even though the culture promotes sleeping with as many people as possible, which i'm not comfortable with. but at the same time i want meet people so i sometimes go along with it when i feel like i need to make effort to meet new people.
Well, I think nowadays people put less value in this institution. Some want long-term relationships but don't want marriage. I am in this category. The reason why I feel this way might be connected to my childhood and all the broken marriages I've seen, including my parents. I think marriage changes your status and puts more unnecessary pressure on the relationship. But I come from a pretty conservative country and this might affect my view.
Thank you so much for that video (I am a woman by the way) ! I consider myself as a feminist and I have also been struggling with "hookup culture" and people telling me I should have more sex with men that I do not really know or who do not care about me. But I am not fulfilled by this kind of relationships so I just stopped. And I chose not to listen to the people who think I have "a problem" or that I am old fashionned (and what if I am ? No one should care ! It is my body, my mind and my emotions, not theirs). So thank you again Lana :)
Kudos!! Keep it up!! You went into a much deeper level and took it up a notch. Can tell a lot of thought went into this. There's so much to tell about this video. For example the pattern that in order to rebel against something one must become a dictator and do the same thing in the opposite direction. It should be strange but that's why the concept in the shadow is so important. Whoever is free of sin should throw the first stone. I can tell, this was hard to make and I can also tell, you're growing. Very honest so thanks for being there to make the world a little better, even if you're just posting questions on people's minds. That was quite responsible!! Yes, I'm part if the 80% and videos like this is why I watch your channel.
@@LanaBlakely It was heartfelt. Likely the return of what you put into this video. If you saw my previous comment you'll know I don't always agree with what you do, but you EARNED it. So, respect. Btw, I actually came back here to send you this: ruclips.net/video/3JIWwDW_OzA/видео.html Given your output and the subject of MGTOW I think you can do something with it. You'll see the relation around the 6:15 mark. Cheers!
I feel like I’m pressured to want to hook up cause I’m a guy but I don’t it’s just weird for me. It’s made me feel even more hollow and sad after and I can admit that. I’ve always been a relationship type of person, People should do things cause they want to not out of what society is telling them. This video helped a lot thank you.
I don’t care if my friends choose to hook up with people, not my business and it’s their choice. But i hate how hook up culture shames other people who wanna wait till marriage or wait until they find the right one to have sex with. I personally don’t like hook up culture as I don’t like the idea of having sex with someone I’m not in love with, I don’t wanna feel like a rebound or feel tossed aside, and again, thats just how I feel. I want to have a strong connection with someone, it just feels reassuring.
You're absolutely correct in my humble opinion. One should indeed be free to do what makes them happy, whatever that may be. The only thing I will add is ....promiscuity is always a risk. If you're fine with that risk, and are willing to accept what may come with that, then so be it. But in my experience, it many times doesn't work so well in the long run, and the risk is a bit higher for Women. But we're here to learn, so do what you like, and see how it works for you. Great video.
i think we broke the balance of natural relationships by imposing rules on them such as forbidding intercourse between men and women before marriage which then brought hookup culture saying its not normal for a woman or a man who has never experianced sex before to have intercourse with penetration at the night of the wedding. of course that come from my eastern culture point of view, my personal opinion is that they are both extremes beceause they impose certain rules while it is better for one to not follow either ones and decide what's best for him and his partner regardless of the ..."hip" that was going at that time
I’m from the west and totally agree. The sexual liberation movement in the west is nothing more than a way for people to signal how hip and with the times they are as it’s a response to the sexual oppression society has traditionally upheld. What’s even more disgusting is how it’s been labeled feminism for women to give their bodies to men who let’s be real are the ones who mostly benefit from hook ups. It’s very sad to see the negative effects it’s had yet people who are very clearly hurt by it still claim they feel liberated. If they truly were they wouldn’t have so much regret or feel so horrible about it. To me true liberation is knowing what you want/what works for you and doing it in a way that you can live with yourself whether that’s hooking up, waiting till a relationship, or waiting till marriage.
Honestly I think everyone is free to do what they want, but girls shouldn't feel pressure (or be encouraged) to have hookups to fit in. When I was younger I would feel pressured to have my first kiss, have sex and all that stuff but then realized that things will happen eventually and naturally and you dont have to be like everyone else and have hookups to be cool or anything. Just do what will make you feel happy and good.
Am I the only one who thinks it’s okay? It is up to you to do what you want, it’s your right. The point of hookups is having sex for 1 night when you want it badly. And if you don’t like it, don’t do it. That is easy. I am sick of hearing people labeling everything from the feminism and over tolerance point of view 🤦🏽♀️
you may see this as a weird way, but sex for me has a caffeine affect for me i do it once then the next day i forget about the experience as if it never happened. I told my parents about this and they said that i have a problem (not in a bad way of course they where understanding) everyone is different in their one way and having sex with someone wont get me emotionally attached to them, its their character and how they treat their life and others as a whole. many of my hookups have the same mindset as me and we agreed not to catch feelings and just enjoy the experience :)
Seems to me that there’s a pretty straightforward correlation between increased promiscuity in society and diminishing family unity. I’m a sixty one year old guy who has witnessed a marked increase in divorce rates, single parent households, and length of average time for people to truly mature in my lifetime. Also seems to be far more people who never become productive members of society than ever before.
I personally experienced different options regarding sexual acitivity: I spent 2,5 years in a realtionship where my partner and I didn't have intercourse because both of us decided to wait. I experienced having a fwb as well as a few casual encounters with people who I've known before that (no strangers, no ons). I personally never felt pressured to have casual sex. And it definitely did not effect my desire to have meaningful relationships or to settle down. In fact every relationship I have or had was and is meaningful to me. I would not choose to be intimate with someone if I didn't care for them and if I felt that they didn't care for me. I have to feel safe, comfortable and connected to that person. For the time being I consciously chose not to engange in casual sexual encounters anymore and I wouldn't mind to have a partner again who's celibate.~
That’s beautiful. For me the issue is people who haven’t had healthy hook ups acting like they’re liberated and free when deep down they are miserable and are just hooking up because they just want to fit in not because they actually want to. I think there is freedom in knowing what you want, doing it because you want to. and not feeling bad about it. To me that is true liberation whether you are in to hooking up, waiting till you’re in a relationship or waiting till marriage.
So really impressed you've changed Ure mindset,but still could I know wts u're age like and fr how time you did casual encounters and now it's been how mch time since you stopped, it'll be again an example fr ppl out there
A large part of the reason why youngsters engage in casual hookups is because they want sx but feel they are not ready for commitment, that they lack the experience to be able to decide who to commit to, so casual sx is a way of increasing that experience. But they especially girls are not warned of the tragic and traumatic consequences that they will face as a result of casual sx. The truth needs to be spoken so people can make informed choices.
So, she is 100% for "sexual freedom", but against hookup culture. The way I see it, she wants freedom for women to optimize for hypergamy, but at the same deny men the option of practicing polygamy... Or am I missing something here?
I feel like movies/series are promoting such culture.
True...
This is True
I agree
very true..
Agree... @euphoria
Hookup culture destroyed my self esteem, made me feel disposable to men
What a waste it's sad, women shouldn't have embrassed the feminist narrative. Hook-up is not good for them, mother nature didn't intend hook-ups for women, it affects women's brain in a very damaging way. People should share sincere love and not lust toward each other how it's usual on Tinder. Hook-up is easier because it's not so serious and cause less pain but it's also short and less fulfilling in the mean time. This is why you become addicted like junk food, porn/masturbation, and so on. I wish you to find love(relationship) it's a high vibrancy than desire low vibrancy (hook-ups) on the scale of Hawkins. I wish you to find true love.
tshaolin971 many feminists don’t agree with hookup culture .
dogsarebetter It's weird how in the end of the day the sexual freedom promoted and fought so much for by liberals and feminists, both men and women, resulted to benefit mostly men. Ofc it helped normalize sex and in a way ease the social stigma around women's sexuality, but when did it start becoming brainwashing? Crazy lol
tshaolin971 Ok but sometimes I just really need sex and nothing more lol.
Yoshiyahu Yisrael There's no such thing as friendzone. Grow up
"Being free and being encouraged are two different things"
THIS.
Hi can we share whatsapp
A man who had sex before marriage is likely to be unsatisfied with his future wife. A woman who had sex before marriage is likely to be more insecured and akward when he do it with her future husband.
Why take the risk of endagering your marriage. For 20 minutes of pleasure?
I personally don't understand how people can be physically intimate with someone who is basically a stranger to them. I need to be in love with someone and know that they reciprocate my feelings to get anywhere near sex. I'm not sure if this is to do with my introversion though - we tend to seek deeper, more meaningful connections with people in general, and that's why many introverts have few but deep friendships. I assume it's the same with relationships and sex.
How do you not comprehend that it is fine for two adults to fulfill their sexual urges with each other, without having to commit to a relationship and all the baggage that comes with?
@@crozecamp Please read my comment again. I didn't condemn casual sex in any way. People are allowed to indulge and express themselves however they want. I emphasised things clearly from my perspective and experience (I 'personally') - I just cannot understand how people are able do it - as in for me, it almost grosses me out to think of having sex with someone I do not have strong feelings for. I simply made a connection to what I feel is deeply tied to how I am in terms of my introversion. I cannot keep surface-level friendships either, as I need them to be deep and meaningful to me otherwise I lose interest. Was simply making an observation and in no way was saying it is wrong. It's just foreign to me.
I’m an introvert TOO!!!!!!!
you can connect w a “stranger” in a second of time, or “know” other person for years and try to love but not reallllly know, tho.
@@crozecamp Ever heard of masturbation? Sex is a very intimate thing, I'd go as far to say that it is the most intimate act you can partake with someone else, why would you do that with someone that you basically don't care about, or that shares no mutual feelings for you? Isn't that the closest thing to fucking a plastic doll? Is much like your dog humping your leg, but at least your dog feels something for you. I'm not saying that people should wait until marriage to have sex, I just think that it is something that you do with someone that you know well and have an high level of intimacy with, it just doesn't make sense to me otherwise.
Television is partly to blame. Tv shows promote this type of thinking, about how having sex 24/7 with friends, coworkers, strangers, etc is normal, and that not forming any type of relationship with said person other than "sex buddy" is perfectly reasonable. I've never liked it, and its sending the wrong messages to teens.
You are making a point, but on the other hand television and movie companies often get their revenue from we consuming their content. The law of "supply-and-demand" is at play here. Even if you and I may be sceptical towards the hook-up culture in certain areas or its entirity there is still quiet a broad interest for this type of content in popular culture. Why is that?
@@addeade231 you're making all sorts of assumptions like free will really is free will which it's most likely not. Most people like what they are being exposed to over time (Google "mere exposure effect")
True love is becoming rare. It's all about lust now
Right and it’s sad. Maybe we’re in our Last Days.
and that is the worst
So true!
I am living here in the US now for the past 4 years. I want to say hook up culture is so sad. People don't want to date and connect. When I meet women at a party or event, I see a human. If I am in a strip club then it's a lust. When I am having conversations then I am trying to know that person and make a connection. I cannot do hookups because I am not a mean person.
Comment of the Year Award 🏆
I think that hook up culture definitely affects people wanting a commitment in a negative way. People think that hook ups make them happy because they are promoted but in fact they leave you feeling lonely and unloveable. This was a very important video!
That part!
One more thing, men are naturally wired to not want promiscuous women. And women are naturally wired to want emotional relationships which can't happen if you people are promiscuous.
It's a loss for both, but it's a worse deal for women and they don't understand it. Even if men don't find good women they still have a higher chance to find another later on. But as women get older, they become less attractive.
I notice that the people who hookup the most are emotionally broken people (which is obvious) and just use casual sex as a way to fill up a void and it’s really sad. I know I shouldn’t shame these people but it makes me pity them a lot. Casual sex is so embedded in our culture that it’s hard for me to trust a man. I cant really tell if he wants me for me or wants me for sexual stuff.. Sometimes it makes me self conscious that I’m the only girl in my group who doesn’t have active sex while all my friends are enjoying it. Some of them even laugh at me or look at me weirdly. What ever happened to actual intimacy? I’m not trying to sound like an incel or anything btw, im not a complete virgin or saint.
@remcoclaes What did u need?
I'm a man and have chosen to be celibate for 5 years. There's still some out there. Men who use their brains know that the quick fix is not going to lead to a good legacy. Men live for legacies. Also, I have noticed that hook up culture has lead many women to believe that showing up for a date in pajamas is okay. It's not, ever, okay 😂 but hang in there, stick to what you want, and don't feel insecure about it. If you wanted to, you know you could have thousands of men lining up to use your body. Why be used, when you have so much more to offer?
Hook-up culture is bad, feel free to say so without having to explain yourself.
THIS, there's so much pressure to "have fun" and live your life and be spontaneous when it comes to the topic of casual sex,whether that be from yourself or others. I cant tell you the amount of times I got down on myself because I felt like I wasn't really living or I was jealous of my friends escapades because I just wasnt willing or built to have casual sex like that. It took a long time for me to honor myself and my own desires and be realistic about what I can handle instead of comparing myself to other people
What most simps, feminist fe/males, white-knights, betas and conservative guys fail to realize: bad boys provide excitement, novelty, unpredictability and fun (fear, roller-coaster drama) to a new level. In other words, stability and commitment (no longer) won't cut it for today's 🦄. Why is that? Before she was your girlfriend, wife or lover, she already had been "run through" so many guys. And each time she slept with someone (both wo/men), she lost a part of her psyche, well-being or mind/soul/spirit. In other words, she is no longer able to have emotional attachment in a healthy or committed way.
Feminist's Ideology from Sheryl Sandberg, chief operating officer of Facebook:
"My advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier."
*Sex and Culture* by Joseph Daniel Unwin
*The Rational Male Series* by Rollo Tomassi
*The Manipulated Man* by Esther Vilar
*The Myth of Male Power* by Warren Farrell
*The Feminist Lie: It Was Never About Equality* by Bob Lewis
*Anatomy of Female Power* by Chinweizu Ibekwe
*Men on Strike* by Helen Smith
*Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars: An Introductory Programing Manual* by Anonymous
Isaiah 3:12
*Childish* leaders oppress my people, and *women* rule over them. O my people, your leaders mislead you; they send you down the wrong road.
Proverbs 31:3
Don't give your strength (attention, resources, mental point origen) to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings.
Ezekiel 23:20
There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
My husband told me that the reason why he was so intrigued by me was because of how I carry myself in a world where most women conduct themselves differently than how women used to back then. But despite my quietness and reserved nature, I am very fiery and I stand firm with my belief. He always say that he loves my inner voice, strength and belief system. And yes, I never slept with anyone before him. And he found that very, very special. He said he wished he could have saved himself for me too. But I wasn’t judgmental. It was the way he was brought up and his choice as an adult. What bind us together is our love and respect for each other. And that is more powerful that all of these new belief systems people advocating for.
So nice to read. I relate. I wish I could find a man like that
Atleast we know who's wearing the pants in the house
Your husband sounds lowkey hypocritical, he’s talking bad about women who aren’t virgins and yet he himself isn’t s virgin. He’s just being hypocritical and perpetuating a double standard that had existed for centuries.
@@alaaye5237 How is he hypocritical? He stated that he wished he saved himself for her, so clearly he has some regret about his past. She brought that out of him, people change. Just because he might have went through a promiscuous stage does not mean that he hasn't evolved into someone who values more meaningful relationships now.
Poochy
But that’s the thing, the people in the comments are acting as if people who aren’t virgins can’t have fulfilling relationships. The people who are virgins seemed to think that they’re better for not having sex but they aren’t. There are plenty of good people who aren’t virgins and plenty of bad people who are. I’m a virgin myself but I’m not acting all high and mighty, praising myself because I’m still “pure”. What y’all are saying are just generalizations. In reality her husband is a hypocrite because he’s hating on girls who aren’t virgins but I bet he doesn’t really see himself having sex with a few people in the past as a problem. All you guys are doing is encouraging a double standard for women. Majority of the guys in the comments aren’t virgins and yet they expect women to be virgins... how does that work? Why is that fair? Y’all just need to mind your own business and respect people’s sexual choices. Especially since nowadays the amount of people having sex in their teens is less than it was in previous generations.
i didnt realize how big a problem this was until my friends started poking fun at me for wanting to wait until marriage (apparently an extremely rare trait in men), thanks for addressing this.
You are not alone brother.
You are not alone brother.
Brother literally every conservative society thinks like you. The entirety of the Pakistani male single population agrees with u!
We need more men like you pls do wait till marriage but then again it’s your life
You're not alone bro
All fun and games till they have HPV and herpes.
Ethan Tran that was kinda deep ngl
haha, true. & people act like condoms are a free-pass to be hoe status. Condoms are more effective at preventing pregnancy, not STIs. Most STIs can be transmitted through skin to skin contact.
And need a "LEEP PROCEDURE"
Not just Stds/HIV... I had just kissed a guy and that was it and got the flu!! Just imagine with the Coronavirus or any other superbug that gets out.. Would spread like wildfire through this "culture" of hookups and low self esteem. Don't even kiss them until you know they are safe!!
@Yoshiyahu Yisrael yo yo uuu
Agreed, hookup is comparable to junk food...
makes you happy just a few moments
Junk food that might get you pregnant and give you a disease immediately after one serving.
@@SaneAsylum Never heard of contraception?
@@painexotic3757 Sure. I have friends that have as well. Friends that had kids on the pill. Friends that got std's using contraception etc...
Never heard of knowledge?
@@SaneAsylum And I have friends who've never slipped up because they use contraceptives lmfao.
Every time I try to hook up with a girl, I feel kind of empty and treacherous afterwards. I've never had a sexual encounter that didn't feel as if it was laying the groundwork for something more meaningful. Whenever I've tried to have a 'one night stand', I've had to cut the person off fairly ruthlessly afterwards and it's never comfortable. Hook up culture? Not a fan. If you're going to get intimate with someone then understand that the word intimate means intimate; it's never entirely devoid of emotion or attachment because sex is a mechanism for creating emotional attachment anway. Trying to 'hit and run' is like eating the icing off a cupcake. Not as good as the whole cupcake.
Max Gorlov agreed. Every time I’ve hooked up with someone (with the exception of one person) the friendship has gotten complicated and ultimately gone by the wayside. In my opinion, and while sex can certainly be a beautiful expression of love, try to abstain as long as possible with someone your dating because everything changes afterwards. As for one night stands, They are absolutely toxic to the soul.
You've got THE skill if you're capable of hooking up with girls whenever you want being a GUY.
@@alphabeta3105 lets be real hes probably a) rich af, b) handsome or c) a combination of both.
I believe this "hookup culture" encouragement will be devastating for generations to come because of the psychological effect's casual sex has towards pair bonding, for both men and women.
hookup culture is nothing new. statistics even say that the amount of sexual encounters are lower than in the 70s and 80s
@@vertigoEdits oh yeah, people are hooking up way less. Saw a Vox video on that
@@vertigoEdits
True
What if you don't want to pair bond have you ever thought about that
I believe hookup culture it's a way to normalize MAPS relationships too..the people of this world is becoming more sickly everyday
Hookup culture broke my heart. I thought I could do it, but I ended up falling in love with a man who threw me away the minute I wanted something more. I felt disposable and flawed because everything seemed to be going really well and we got along so well. We were so compatible so it didn’t make sense to me how he didn’t have feelings for me. It turned out I was just a toy for him to play with when he was traveling away from home. (I discovered he was married and cheating with me after the fact and it made it so much worse for me to deal with).
You are NOT a toy. I’m sorry you had to go through that. I hope you take the time to heal, you got this ❤️
I feel terrible for you and the wife of this disgusting man !
But if I am honest I really don't understand modern society.
Women cry about being sexualized by men while sexualizing themselves in the name of feminism and "women empowerment".
If you don't want to be treated like an object, then don't offer yourself like an object.
I'm deeply sorry to say that and you can insult me as well, but I really hope you learned from this experience..
@@konanxhidan3202 You’re making assumptions now.
I didn’t do it for empowerment or feminism.
I got out of a bad breakup and I wasn’t ready for commitment so I wanted someone purely for the intimacy.
He sexualized me and I did the same to him.
The problem isn’t that I let him sexualize me... the problem is that I let it continue even after I realized I wanted more with him.
So, yes, I am partly at fault for putting myself in this situation and letting it continue when it stopped being fun and started becoming emotionally hurtful, but that doesn’t make him any less guilty of his wrongdoings.
I don’t understand why you have to make a comment trying to shame me when I obviously already know this.
Not helpful at all
If you do the hook up culture, you will actually meet the worst men... i thought women understood this... Its logical
@@markusgarcia4136 Logic isn’t always easy to follow when you have feelings for someone, but judging from the fact you thought this comment was some sort of revelation, I don’t expect you to understand. Thanks for commenting the obvious.
most people who sleep with a ton of people are heavy drinkers.
just something i've noticed.
Because of the multiple heartbreaks after.
@Yoshiyahu Yisrael get checked for stds
@Big Booty Libertarian This is true. I know a woman who is on psych meds and her body count is into the stratosphere.
@Big Booty Libertarian if I had to guess I'd say at least 40. She's told me about many of her encounters but I don't think she's told me about all of them.
@@solomongrundy1467 lmao
I recently deleted my dating accounts because I kept meeting men who were emotionally unavailable, willing to lie, pretend or be vague about the fact they weren't looking for anything meaningful.
I lost faith that I will meet someone who's actually wanting to feel something real and wanting a connection that's far deeper than sex.
I'm not into hookups, situationships or FWB so it's meant that I'm now single and not ready to mingle lol
dating app is the worst place to look for it for both men and women
Exactly the same with me!
Finally, someone with a brain on RUclips. I’m subscribing.
I don't understand how people can casually have sex with random people... There is just no way I could give my body to someone without also giving my heart, my mind and my soul. I think one of the biggest problem in our society is disconnection resulting in a lack of consciousness and awareness. A lot of people are fragmented and disconnected from themselves unfortunately these days so are therefore not connected with their emotions so are lost and confused. I believe reconnection with the higher self would be the answer.
everyone is different, you shouldn’t bash others just because you don’t understand
I agree completely
@@user-losersRcoolerthanU You missed the point entirely. We're doomed. 😬😳
@@hakeemsd70m I guess we are :) Theres people who don't understand the lifestyle or values of others so they choose to bash and criticize , of course this shithole over lmao
For me a sexual relationship means I am committed to that person for life, and I would only participate if the same type of commitment is being offered in return. In my personal view, anything short of this cheapens who I feel I am and what I feel I deserve, and it's the same type of respect I want to offer a partner. I know this view is rare, and it's hard to find these days, but I find myself really respecting people who value themselves in this same way.
I did :)
@Yash Yadav Thanks :), and yes
I am so happy and proud of you. You deserve it after the work you’ve put in 😊
You echo my thoughts
I agree, Steven.
Too many hook ups (each person with their own threshold) destroys a person's ability to pair bond. Once the ability is gone, the only thing left is the instant gratification of a hook up as a lifestyle. Essentially these people will never look for a mate, much less find one.
“Hook-up” = a temporary physical interaction, generally disconnected from one’s deeper mental/emotional/spiritual self. Typically is a subconscious form of pain relief and self- medication, and results in widening of the gap between where one “is” (a place of discomfort or discontent) and where one needs to be (a state of balance, harmony, and integration).
Well the reality is men and women are not equal in front of hook-up. It builds men to find themself while it destroys women to left them miserable and lost. Surprise men and women are different !
tshaolin971 I’m a straight male and one night stands and hook ups have only served to be toxic to my soul. I need a relationship context for that so perhaps I’m the male exception.
@@tshaolin971 You're never going to convince anyone as a hypocrite. Cut out the double standards.
This is coming from a man against "hook-up culture." It's nothing but unfulfilling, degrading, and impulsive instant gratification seeking nonsense, but you have the freedom to make bad decisions if you choose to.
What I'd like to point out is how much social pressure this hook-up culture has generated, both on men and women. In my case, I've been told a couple of times that I'm like a nun, and honestly I find it ridiculous. I mean, I'm not even virgin, I'm just not into casual sex and only get physical when the relationship is already serious. What's wrong with that? Why on earth should I engage on casual sex when I don't even like it? My ex is getting through a similar thing, as a matter of fact. I hate it how some friends of his like to label him as not-macho just because he doesn't go around fucking every single couple of boobs and pussy.
What I think about this is: you wanna have sex with a different person every single day? Ok. You wanna wait til marriage? Ok. You wanna have sex only when having an emotional connection as well? Ok. I mean, DO WHATEVER YOU WANT BUT FOR GOD'S SAKE, DON'T MAKE PEOPLE FEEL LIKE THEY SHOULD BEHAVE JUST LIKE YOU!
The "wanna have sex with a dif person every single day" lifestyle only possible for girls and tiny winy itsy bitsy percent of guys.
The biggest problem with hookup culture is that when someone who is only looking for a hookup meets someone who wants a committed relationship, but doesn't communicate the fact that they only want sex from that person. Let's face it, the people who do this, both men AND women, know very well when they are deceiving the other person. This is a huge problem in today's society, especially for those who want to build something solid, real and committed. True love, a family, growing old together. Love for life.
YES!!! Exactly. I hate this shit!
I really appreciate your conservative and traditional mind. It goes perfectly along with your natural yet effortless beauty. Keep it up my dear lana.
I've been going with my gut with this 2 month relationship and I haven't had sex. Went real slow on the intimacy and had it organically grow to something more meaningful. It's exclusive and official and we both respect each other's boundaries and expectations. I feel like jumping straight into sex would ruin the relationship imo because you didn't allow for something emotional to grow into that relationship. Just my perspective as a male seeing a ton of failed relationships.
What happened?
Are you still together or broke up?
@@khushilassi7484 Still together and going strong. We've had our ups and downs but our communication is what saved us.
@@PimpMatt0 waoh 2 years already🔥❤ wish you all the luck
I would not be surprised if loads of casual relationships turn people Cynical or bad at commitment. i can't imagine how the divorce numbers will be in 10-20 years. Divorce should not be considdered normal, atleast when young children are involved.
Bra at du snakker om sånt som dette, får håpe vi snart fremmer forpliktelse fremfor promiskuitet, for begge kjønn.
I'm a young woman and all I've ever wanted is to be in a loving committed relationship. Time and time again I will get to know so one and it will be great until we sleep together, it seems as soon as they get their desires for filled they feel free to run off. For me this has been traumatic. Sometimes I feel as though I am being tricked in to bed. After learning the hard way over and over, with little hope left and my emotions wounded, I abstain from sex altogether, as I know I want a real relationship and I don't beleive I will ever get what I want until it is agreed between both people before sex.
@Yash Yadav Are you a woman, because if you commit to hook up culture it fries you're ability to pair bond, it is one of the greatest assets of being a woman, it makes you stay committed to one partner, it makes you love you're children unconditionally, you'll lose you're womanly instincts to make everything clean and beautiful, ohh women that tends to have a high body count can't take care of their own, depression and anxiety follows in later years, 2 past sexual partners for a woman is already detrimental. Surround yourself with caring people, value you're self, don't be desperate in finding a boyfriend there's a chance you might land a desperate guy or chads who migth take advantage of you're body. The best thing you can do is put it on you're standard, sexual intercourse is in you're marriage, if he can't accept that then he can only bring harm to you. Don't worry sweety there will be men much higher value men that will love and will take care of you.
@Yash Yadav There are no known psychological damage to men, but still don't commit it.
@Yash Yadav Doneven Sharpe look it up man.
@Yash Yadav were the same age man I'm 20 get working man, don't get fooled with the ladies.
@Yash Yadav Im Roman Catholic man, but I love you brother, base on my experience in the library and girls that rises early in the morning are down to earth and did not participate in casual hookups, hookup girls will be drained by being filled they don't want to go out of bed.
These videos are really running the gambit, I like it! Personally, I have decided to maintain my virginity until marriage (or an equally binding situation with a partner). I feel like it will make the relationship more permanent if I’ve committed myself to that person in the important area of sexual connection. I also believe that upholding that standard will naturally attract prospective partners who share similar values of commitment, which are the kind of people that I am interested in dating. Ben Shapiro describes sexual promiscuity like reusing tape, where the more you hook-up with random people (like connecting two pieces of tape and then ripping them apart), the less sticky the tape becomes, and the less emotionally fulfilling the sex becomes. It’s a silly analogy, but I think it makes sense with the theory of quality over quantity. Maybe I’m just naive about sexuality, but for now that’s the moral standard that I’m sticking with.
I agree, and there are multiple reasons why it's biblical!
That is awesome! Good for you Dylan. I don't think it was silly. Do you have a link to where Ben talks about it? I'd like to check it out.
Very mature and intelligent attitude, hope you find the girl of your dreams
@@LanaBlakely Not sure about that exact tape quote, but here's a video where he expands upon various aspects of marriage
ruclips.net/video/tvZwAonaRUk/видео.html
And another similar one by JP:
ruclips.net/video/-rXow867YB8/видео.html
Thanks all for the comments! I can’t pick out the specific time he said it because it was in one of his daily podcasts a few months back. But if you look up “Ben Shapiro” and “Marriage” you will find many instances of him explaining his viewpoint. I don’t completely agree with everything that he says about relationships, but I think that he is usually well-informed and logical.
I feel like i'm the only guy in the world that isn't into the whole hookup culture.. I get a lot of shit from my "friends" for it too :/
ofc no
Then they aren't your friends. Ditch those people.
I kind of think like you, and i am a dude.
@@ryliek6832 I'm glad things are going well for you. Keep rocking :)
Don’t listen to them.
That's so relatable and exactly the truth of the modern relationships!!!! And this affects men too..some guys are just doing it cuz of peer pressure and just for lame things without the intention of a commitment and the modern society encourages it!!! Modern relationships have changed from "love" oriented to "lust" oriented!!...Sexual freedom is definitely being abused a lot... I just think people must think before getting into it and and not end messed up..
I agree with you!
I'm glad that you do!!🥰
realtionships before 1960 seldom where "love oriented"....
Most men can do nothing except what women allow. It is the consequence of the imbalance between supply and demand. Half of the population lives swimming in attention and sex offer for free, the other half gets nothing effortlessly.
Came to this video after a hook-up i had last night. It wasn’t bad it just makes me feel like garbage the day after. Was the 3rd “hookup” of my life (im 21)
Each time I saw why i wasn’t nowhere near appreciating this as a lifestyle for myself. This time though, I’m done for good. I love to feel special and appreciated both for my character and body. Hookup culture does not fulfill this.
I just want a girl to hold at the end of the night that I can trust fully
Jimmy Buckets yes and amen
Preach brother, PREACH!
Jimmy 'G' Buckets and the G stands for Gets!
yeah but these girls just like using guys for the D nowadays and only text you after midnight "are you up"
Dont we all
I haven’t “hooked up” with anyone in 4 years, not since I last had a boyfriend. A lot happened with my health near death stuff and with family members passing I just haven’t wanted to have the potential of another heart break when im feeling already low. It hasn’t stopped guys from constantly asking to hangout late at night and straight up talk about wanting to hookup despite being clear once they pushed it the first time. the longer i stay celibate the more it actually bothers me how open guys are with being pushy and perverted. Its like there’s no barriers for respect anymore. Thinking about common curtesy back in the day and getting permission from parents by the guy just to even go on a date is something seriously lacking. It seems sad to be in a world that people are used and discarded if they’re willing to give the other anything at all. Im sure the tables will turn in time maybe when everyone gets stds and suffers enough that they have no choice but to put off instant gratification to actually stop and think about the best choice on all levels for one individual partner. Also the fact birth control even exists isn’t a help and I’m slowly seeing that starting to be an issue with so many hormonal struggles beginning thanks to it.
I love this comment so much and it is SO FREAKING TRUE that guys are pushy now!!!!!!!!
are you celibate for 8 years now?
Preach it! I've been saying this to people for years but they're too awkward to talk about it.
I'm a guy in graduate school. My house mate is from a different state, and within a day of him moving in, he had a girl over at our house hooking up with her. He's hooked up with four different girls since and completely cuts them off afterwards. I didn't know people did stuff like that.
I'm the 15% (woman). I agree with you in general, the real problem is that, for women, there is the hook up culture and then there is the "judging" culture at the same time. basically you're encouraged to be free and explore but also called a slut if you do (or simply treated like one). men don't have this type of problem, because of the old fairy tale that for them it's a "biological instinct".
8scatterbrain8, here’s your dilemma in sexual economics terms. Women control a seller’s market of sexual access and use it as a bargaining tool for commitment, the market that men control. If a woman sells too low and too frequently through many casual encounters, her competitors who are maintaining the high price of sexual access get pissed and shame label her ‘slut’ as a deterrent. However, if a woman wants to express her NATURAL sex drive, she has to be careful of how many partners she sells to, or at least how many of her competitors hear about it. The solution? Discreet encounters. If I’m mistaken about any of this, please point out how.
Hook up culture also shames men if a woman is not willing to sleep with him because supposedly that invalidates him, so who is more likely to blame?
I don't believe that 100% of the 85% men, as u might be implying, are following you just bc they find you attractive. I would say many who do is bc it is fresh to see a woman with your more "moderate" and objective ideology on RUclips given that it can be difficult to find men AND women in popular media today who do. It's also wonderful to see another fan of Peterson.
She never said that. She said that she would like to hear both perspectives (male and female) on the topic of hookup culture. She merely mentioned the 95% male viewership because she realizes that she won't get both perspectives. She added the "yeah" for comedic effect.
She's not that attractive
@@marcelhidalgo1076 And she doesn't have the male perspective either, because men are rarely sincere in their opinion about "hookup culture" and their personal experience in it. Almost all men are forced to maintain the lie that the effects of "hookup culture" are symmetrical in men and women, because they have been taught to believe that lack of symmetry (and the superabundance of male sex offer in which women live swimming) is a personal failure and not a structural characteristic of sexual dynamics. That is why men "lie up", inventing girlfriends and partners they never had, adopting ridiculous poses and behaviors just because they believe that society (or women) expect them as men to adopt. In the same way, women "lie down" and hide every trace of many of the boyfriends and partners they have had before the new ones, and see their promiscuity as a "serial monogamy." One of the main problems of the hookup culture is not promiscuity, but widespread insincerity, absolute hypocrisy, lies enthroned everywhere. Everything is fake, scenery and stretch.
@@manuelmanzanero5057 This was refreshing to read because I’ve also noticed hypocrisy and lies by both men and women who say hooking up is great, but how can it be great if women are constantly talking about how used they feel, or men constantly complain about how all women are hoes and just use them for money, but still have no problem hooking up with them? People need to be more honest with themselves. Hook up culture in my opinion does more harm than good which is why I stay clear or it or any one who acts like it’s the best thing ever.
I don’t really have anything against hookup culture, but getting pregnant on accident with someone you barley know is horrifying, so I avoid casual hookups, even causal dating scares me cause you never know.
Can't agree with you more.I really like the way you think, you seem like a person who doesn't follow the crowd
I like hearing you speak intelligently. Nice to know there is some brains to go along with that beauty. You are pretty and nerdy without being a goober.
I think hookup culture is gross and it is very difficult to date in the hookup culture if you want substance in relationships. Everybody just wants in your pants if you are decent looking. It is very tiresome. I have had it happen so many times. Go on a date have a good time and the other person expects sex on a first or a second date. It is very surprising at times. I give up dating all together for awhile at times and just hang out with my xbox on some days and spoil my daughter with family time and going out in the world goofing off.
I think a lot of sex with people you hardly know cheapens the experience.
Yes it’s best to have sex inside committed relationships and many problems we have today could be avoided if everyone did that. People who hook up regularly are more at risk of unwanted pregnancies, single motherhood, abortions, STDS, etc so having sex in a long term relationship is much more safe and I think more emotionally fulfilling too because you’re having sex with someone you love and care about. I don’t think people need to get married or have sex before marriage. I’m pro premarital sex but at least have sex with someone you’re together with at least
You just summarized my opinion in this topic
I agree with you. Although Hookup culture is harming young girls and women, and even young people in general. And Of course adults.
Because I think hookup culture is also harming adolescent girls because it also put them in so much danger in grooming, sexualization and etc.
I was so happy to hear your point of view. I completely agree. I am living single & celibate by choice. It's a happy, peaceful life. When I see the torment so many people go through, which they volunteer for, it confirms for me, that my peaceful life with occasional flashes of excitement is a better way to live. One friend who was so sure that the hook up culture was a good life, was dumped by a SO and was so devastated, committed suicide. So very sad.
@Yash Yadav I can only speak for myself. The answers are yes and yes.
@Yash Yadav I'm unsure as to whether other female friends feel the same as me or not. When we talk, we speak of other topics. I know this is the best way to live, for me.
@Yash Yadav Most of my friends share my beliefs, some don't. Then, again, most of my female friends are married.
Although many people may find religion to be backwards and not fitting with the modern time, it is very valuable. I don’t understand or agree with everything in my religion but what I do know is that religion understands human behavior. The rules that religion has are for the prevention of mistakes that people tend to make.
I want to find a woman like this. Someone who has a strong backbone, who’s understanding, and free with their thoughts. Someone who I can genuinely respect, and have an intelligent conversation with without sex being a driven factor. My town is filled with easy, undesirable people. My mind is free, willing to support anyone deserving of the love and mental happiness I can help provide them.
In the grand scheme od things, youre unimportant. 99.99% of people dont even know you exist, and dont care if you do either. Sad.
It's such a breath of fresh air to come across a comment like this. I've been engaging in intellectual conversations for about 5 years now, but most men around me are intimidated by strong, opinionated women. Sometimes, they will even smart-shame them if they feel like their "masculinity" is being challenged. I hope you'll find the woman of your dreams, and the same goes for me.
Men who have self respect do not settle for those who partake in the hookup culture. Traditional men are out there, and they only have desire to search for women who act traditionally.
Frost. I respect your opinion...but have you ever thought that maybe “nontraditional ways are also a method to social control?” 🤯🤯 Unfortunately there’s often agendas on all sides I guess we just have to see which side we want to be on
Hookup culture is the natural consequence of no stigmas around sexual encounters.
Right
There shouldn't be stigmas about sexual encounters
Hookup culture becomes so addicting that it feels like a masterbation addiction and when that time comes to settle down, things don’t go to well which leads onto getting bored so easily and cheating.
Yes it's a mental disease !
tshaolin971 it is, I have friends who are married and they still go out and sleep around because they did this stuff before they got married.
And what’s shocking to me is that married men get better results with women than single men.
It’s better to avoid hookup culture cause you get caught up in shitty situations were you get hurt, most likely catch STDs, and some people get to a point were they get sick of the opposite gender and want to experience the same gender. Women become lesbians after they slept around a lot and even men become homosexuals after they slept around and hung out with too many women.
@@DavidZee888 "Married men are getting better results than single men"
I'm not surprised, rich become richer and poor poorer ! The dynamic is hard to convert the other way around, unless you make a 180 switch in your mind.
- Nikola Tesla said if you want to find the secret of universe think in terms of energy, frequency and vibrations.-
Hook-up is based on desire and if you look on Hawkins' scale of counsiousness desire is a very low energy. Love is what you find in meaningful relationships it's a high level energy on the same scale, so it will give you fullfilment. While on the other hand hook-up will cause degenerency, so yeah I'm not surprised they turn have sexual intercourse with gays, lesbians or even transgenders. This is dramatic because they are not aware of it.
Thats because you haven't experienced real love....you're only on superficial levels with someone if you're "getting bored" and are easily swayed into cheating....the hookup stuff before is not to blame....look deeper.
Carla actually the hookup culture is a bad thing and people decide to go for it.
It effects women more than men because women have a hard time pair bonding with their future mates after they had all those experiences with different partners.
And a female who is promiscuous ends up being miserable and her value drops in the eyes of men
Experiences in hookup culture doesn’t benefit women at all, it changes their behavior and in the end, she will find it hard to get with a soulmate.
I agree with you overall, however I think promiscuity should be completely discouraged and stigmatized. The normalization of promiscuity is how we got to the place we are now
Also why did no one question why it was stigmatized in the first place? It's probably for a reason. Many people nowadays don't think about anything before they act.
My girlfriend and I talk about this so much and I'm really glad to hear you talk about it too. One night stand culture is one of the most dangerous things to be a part of. That being said I don't think there should be a law or anything stopping that. But most people's opinions towards it is too innocent and again genuinely dangerous
nah its fun you should try it just don't tell your girl
Yep, it's definitely important to be aware of the potential consequences and risks!
@@sdprz7893 Not all are like you
Mrs. John yeah ofcourse but all the fun ones are
You're right...it depends on the individual. Btw, I'm a woman. As for me, I prefer emotional intimacy... hookups just left me feel empty at the end of the day because I don't have a meaningful relationship. It kind of affects my mental health... especially because I'm the kind of person who's circle of relative closeness- family and friends is very small. And I've experienced emotional neglect in my childhood days. So casual sex often makes me feel like guys see me as a sex object...and nobody is seeing me as someone special. I used to feel unwanted...or thought that there is something wrong with me because I'm single...but then I grow older and realize my worth....I mean what can these people even offer me? They don't worth my time and it's my job to love myself.
The last sentence you said, got me. Yes we need to value things that will make us better for the future , and NOT dating or booking up shinanigans.
Knowing your worth and what you want is so powerful.
as a young woman, I kind of prefer not to engage in romantic relationship, but from time to time I have casual sex, but it usually involves some good communication or friendship, otherwise I have a feeling of emptiness. I also noticed that instant one-night stands with strangers are the way of self-harm for me, because I mostly did so when I already felt bad. Finally, I’ve been in love, so I can compare and confirm that sexual contacts with the person I have feelings for is completely distinct (and much better) from any contacts without emotional commitment.
It’s good that you see what does and doesn’t work for you. I wish more people had sense to do this kind of self-introspection. It only benefits others when you do go against your own boundaries.
YES! Thank you for this!
Personally, I think we all see the flaws in past stigmas and the ways that people lived, but somehow we're blind to the problems that we have in our cultures today.
As a teenager, I always wanted to be Joey from FRIENDS and Barney from How I Met Your Mother, but as of now, I want something pure with close emotional attachment.
personally, hookup culture is toxic for me bc i'm only willing to hook up with people i'm very sexually attracted to, and if i become intimate with someone i'm attracted to, i'm bound to get attached. i've never understood how people are able to have casual sex with zero emotions attached. i was "friends with benefits" with someone, and i was and still am attached to this person even though i know they don't care about me anymore. it was great while it lasted. but because i was attached and he wasn't, he's doing fine without me and i still miss him tremendously.,
Maybe I’m traditional, but I intend to keep my virginity till marriage. The reason isn’t solely based on virtue alone, but my subjective form of respect for my future spouse. Perhaps, many would consider it blind devotion, since it is never guaranteed that the other party would keep herself “untouched” as well, however, if I began to act that way, having premarital sex and whatnot, I don’t see how it would make me feel good about myself, or even better. If I’d be blunt, I’d rather have my first and only experience to be with my spouse, than have a number of memories that I may compare (in my head) of which is a better experience; I cannot live with that.
One thing you mentioned was about the statement “beauty and brains”, which you said wasn’t a compliment and gave your reasons as to why. I never thought of it like that. Rather, I’ve never come across such an interpretation. I’ve said that quite a few times among my peers (of both men and women) with good intent; my analogy being, on the contrary of beauty being subjective, not everyone who is smart is beautiful, and not everyone who is beautiful is smart. I have no issues with your opinion, if I’d be honest, it would surely make me think twice if given the chance to say it. Nonetheless, good video.
I think that's great. You do whatever you believe is right for you. Thank you for your comment Zackarie.
Has anyone checked the rate of STDs like herpes among the youngsters nowadays?
Hookup culture is to blame.
You are so right. Just on a practical personal safety level you should be very conservative about who you are having sex with. Forget about all other reasons for a moment and just consider the health implications.
Herpes is really not that dangerous. I am not defending the hookup culture but I don't think STDs should be the reason why you stay away from hooking up.
@@kiraveritas164 i cant take a person seriously who think herpes is not that dangerous. Educate yourself.
@@ashishbhatt3467 If you educated yourself you would know that it isn't serious. But you just repeat what everyone else says. I love it when dumbasses who kniw nothing about medicine or biology tell otherd to educate themselves because they saw a meme on the internet.
@@kiraveritas164 every single disease is a serious concern even a common cold. I am an educated person. I have specifically master degree in microbiology, so i know what a disease is way better than you. A common influenza virus was mutated and became swine flu. Unchecked herpes might end up as deadly epidemic in future.
Seriousle educate yourself, its not fun having herpes.
I’ve personally found over the years, my waiting until marriage for sex has been a decision which lands me in ridicule amongst friends. Most apparent are the women we go out with after work, once tipsy, most of them eventually dig at me until delivering some snarky remark like “Aww really, I feel sorry for you, you’re probably saying that because nobody wants to sleep with you”. What’s so hard to understand? Relationships are expensive… physically, financially, emotionally etc. What’s so wrong about prioritising study/work then dating once in a personally stable position? Wouldn’t that be better for everyone so as not to fall apart when relationships split? I think waiting until marriage shows you’re a morally strong individual who can reserve their love for the right person. “Doing it because everyone else is doing it” is a cheap and childish excuse which is why unfortunately, most teenagers lose their virginity instead of realising the sacred worth of reserving their first experience to be with their life partner. I respect everyone’s decisions though, even as I may not agree with them.
I think you make great points. I think that a big part of anxiety, depression, and things like that finding themselves reinforced comes from the lack of real and meaningful intimate connections. Being free is good... being encouraged is something else. It seems more like a manipulation coming from society and external forces.
I'm demisexual and there is nothing like hooked up in my dictionary. as someone who emotionally attracted to mental and emotional bonding, I felt really hard to find someone that could resonate with the lifestyle I had this far. a lot of guys coming toward me with I would say an " empty plate" which just able to offer such a hooked-up thing while on the other hand I always looking for more, something deeper than a damn hooked-up. I was wonder and question about what happened with everyone, I questioned where is the real human connection gone? by the time I wrote this comment, I really hope that people could stop taking other people for granted and start making a real thing such as a commitment relationship.
I lost my virginity to the man who was in a fraternity and who used to do causal hookups but when he started dating me he changed his ways and honestly if women or men knew their worth & the long-term consequences, they probably wouldn't be doing it
I’m curious if you are still in a relationship together? I also was in a very similar circumstance, he changed his ways, but I never felt right about it. It ate away at me every day. I could never imagine that kind of connection on surface-level, and that many times over a 3 year span. That, and that he was very religious and pushed the “I’m redeemed” agenda at me, but it never truly helped me feel better about it. Still felt like he took that from me but never valued it in the first place… I was just another one.
I am very sorry to hear that you feel that way! But yes I am still with the same guy, been dating for 3.5 years now@@brookebaker628
Finally, a video I can add to my favorites on this topic. Nobody seems to share my views on saving yourself for your partner and not just hooking up all the time.
I knew I wasn't the only one. So glad to see a female talk like this💯
Yeah Im a college student who needs the love, commitment, & emotional intimacy in a relationship -to me that's really what a relationship is all about.
This video really opened my eyes. I personally am sort of a feminist, and have always promoted the idea of hooking up, but I know realize what me and many others are doing wrong. I think the issue is that feminists and conservatives both promote a choice, but not the right to choose. Now, what I mean by that, is that feminists promote hooking up, but not the choice to hookup. Conservatives on the other hand usually promote the choice to not hookup, but not the choice. So, when someone who doesn't want to hookup see's feminists only promoting the idea of hooking up, they may feel left out and feel more comftorable with identifying with conservatives since their beliefs aline with theirs, and when a person who enjoys hooking up sees a conservative promoting the idea of not hooking up, they may identify more with the feminists as they make them feel less shameful. The issue with this that they are both right in a way and wrong. They are both right in a sense that it is ok to personally choose to hook up or to not hook up, but it isn't ok to only promote the choice and not the freedom to choose. They are also both wrong since they get mad at each other just for having a different choice. I think a way to fix this is to start promoting the freedom to choose, and that it is about what you are most comftorable with. Also accepting the fact that all because someone's opinion differs from theirs doesn't mean they are wrong, and that they both can be right or they can both be wrong.
we need more people like you!👏🏻❤
As with so many other things you just have to find out who you are and what works for you. Be a leaf in God's river, have faith, be you.
I just can't tell you how content I, as a 21 year old girl, was to find this video!
I think in every relationship, (romantic relationships not an exception), you should be respected. And just like in any other relationship, I want my romantic relationship to be built upon a solid ground of trust and respect to each one and another.
In my opinion, it is heavily important to respect yourself and to gain that respect so that you can build a good sense of self worth that is going to give you power and stability to do so many things in life. No matter who you are, no one has got the right to judge you for waiting for the person that you can make this commitment with.
As mentioned above, my concern is about all of you, but even you men and guys out there feeling the societal pressure to have sex with as many girls as possible just to be considered "manly enough".
From a girls' perspective, what really means something is your loyalty, not how many girls you have slept with.
I feel like this society, being built upon the principles of casual sex, is somehow just outwatering the essence of true stability, responsibility and comittment to one another.
Even though you are a sensing human worthy of love and respect - not only an outer surface or a couple of nice symmetrical attributes.
Father here of two mid teenage sons. I've been trying to guide them towards the view that relationships are best, particularly when they are carried out with at least the possibility that they might lead to marriage. Both sons have slipped a bit when it comes to online communication and being rude etc., but I have stepped in where possible and told them that they should be respectful towards women. Looking forward to them both getting through this awful hook-up 'culture phase in their lives while they are at University (here in England), and to the time when they can bring home their future wives.
I'm a young woman 🙋♀️
Abt the Personal part: I think sexual desire just like any other desire should not be given in but controlled at times. I also feel like it should be sth special and not like a snack you grab when you're hungry. I personally connect sexuality to relationship bc it's sth so intimate.
Abt the society part: I also feel like that currently in our society it's not freedom that is promoted anymore, but rather a certain kind of life/thinking but under the disguise of "freedom". I don't want to make my thinking abt all this into some conspiracy theory, however it does make me think alot abt why are those ppl doing this? Pushing certain ideas and disguising them as something else. I feel like we're currently under a mass manipulation and radical change of society in one direction and not for the better. It also seems like ppl are more and more losing the ability of critical thinking and dont realise all those disguises and that we are indeed going towards sth very authoritarian..But where do those ppl want to go with this? I mean for example promoting sexual activity instead of the freedom to decide what's best for you? What's the point?/
So glad your talking about this 💕
Thanks for another great video 💕
Thank you sweet friend x
ok i'm a 23 year old girl from Pakistan and i will stay virgin until marriage, i totally think that as much as freedom is important, the education around spirituality and importance of basic human needs of connection and dependence should be discussed heavily too.
Don't worry sis. You'll get a great husband in future
Love from India
Adding to consequences, as a woman I think it’s important for people to talk about physical consequences too, not just emotional ones. There’s STIs involved and unwanted pregnancies. I feel like hook up culture really needs to emphasize the importance of sexual protection, or else there can be issues.
The problem with dating these days are people are so afraid of being hurt that they try to use physical intimacy as a substitute for an emotional one. Here's the hard truth. You don't deserve someone who is willing to put their own feelings on the line while you selfishly guard yours. I relationship takes 2 to work, and you have to put in the work. Otherwise you are stuck in a loop of hookups.
Få saker som är så attraherande som en intelligent individ och väl artikulerande meningar, guldstjärna!
Tack snälla du!
Kathalijne Brinnosch het is Zweeds, maar misschien moet je de vraag niet in het Nederlands stellen.
@Kathalijne Brinnosch But I do understand Dutch faily well, don't really speak it to good, but I can read, and yes it is Swedish :)
Well u may find that you have a majority male following due to us wishing more women were like you are.
Can't speak for the others. But i know for myself i have found no value in this post modern female behavior, and find ypur videos refreshing and hopeful. Your obviously a beautiful woman. But thats a small part of the intrigue. The way you hold yourself, speak and beliefs are powerful to men. I wish it would catch on like wildfire.
Looking back i would trade my entire teenage and mid 20s of "fun" and whatever, for a single life of whatever dificulties arose, for the chance that id meet a girl with these values. Thats saying something. There is countless of us that have settled or lowered our values due to lack of understanding of what is out there, if your just percistant. And im sure the same thing goes for good moral girls as well. So maybe the breakdoen is in the upbringing. And the teaching. Either way. Again. I hope this catches like wildfire.
I'm female. I mourn the apparent passing of the terms boyfriend and girlfriend which imply some sort of special connection which must obtain before you start sleeping together.
So many other factors play into this. Culture, bigger cities in oppose to smaller and personality type etc.
Either or it doesn't make you a bad person or a good person the more or fewer partners. I think the social media age might have fanned the flames of other socio-movements making them having a bigger voice in the whole picture. Personally, I can only speak from my perspective. I've been with my fair share of partners, not because I wasn't looking for the one, just sorta went with things and people who found me attractive. Some blossomed into relationships and some nothing. I look back at the many different faces, ethnicities age ranges and smiles and think, oh what wonderful experiences. To have lived and loved many or none wasn't the outcome. I got to experience very intimate moments with really great people before and after. Sometimes its not about that level, but something more and that's fine.
i personally do not have a problem with people hooking up, i think that everyone should do whatever they want with their body. but at the same time, i do think hookup culture can be very damaging to certain groups such as asexuals, people who are waiting for marriage/the right person, people who need emotional connection to have sex with someone, etc. it makes them feel alienated or pressured to WANT to hook up with people bc this culture is so ingrained in our society. there is nothing wrong with people CHOOSING to hook up with people, but there's something seriously wrong with consistently promoting it thru mainstream media and shaming people who are not into casual sex. sexual freedom needs to encompass abstinence from sex and other ways of choosing to experience sexual encounters, aside from hook ups.
i'm a gay man and casual sex and hook ups are what people generally expect of me, even though behaving like this makes me unhappy and i rarely enjoy sex without intimacy or some kind of human emotion involved. even though the culture promotes sleeping with as many people as possible, which i'm not comfortable with. but at the same time i want meet people so i sometimes go along with it when i feel like i need to make effort to meet new people.
Lana, your channel is gonna go big, mark my words
If you never date someone with the intention of marrying then why date?
rando01 you obviously don’t have to state it..but it could make who to date easier
Well, I think nowadays people put less value in this institution. Some want long-term relationships but don't want marriage. I am in this category. The reason why I feel this way might be connected to my childhood and all the broken marriages I've seen, including my parents. I think marriage changes your status and puts more unnecessary pressure on the relationship. But I come from a pretty conservative country and this might affect my view.
Itchy coochie
@@lepastila7088 true.... i feel you
Thank you so much for that video (I am a woman by the way) ! I consider myself as a feminist and I have also been struggling with "hookup culture" and people telling me I should have more sex with men that I do not really know or who do not care about me. But I am not fulfilled by this kind of relationships so I just stopped. And I chose not to listen to the people who think I have "a problem" or that I am old fashionned (and what if I am ? No one should care ! It is my body, my mind and my emotions, not theirs). So thank you again Lana :)
Kudos!! Keep it up!! You went into a much deeper level and took it up a notch. Can tell a lot of thought went into this. There's so much to tell about this video.
For example the pattern that in order to rebel against something one must become a dictator and do the same thing in the opposite direction. It should be strange but that's why the concept in the shadow is so important.
Whoever is free of sin should throw the first stone.
I can tell, this was hard to make and I can also tell, you're growing. Very honest so thanks for being there to make the world a little better, even if you're just posting questions on people's minds. That was quite responsible!!
Yes, I'm part if the 80% and videos like this is why I watch your channel.
What a lovely comment. Thank you!
@@LanaBlakely It was heartfelt. Likely the return of what you put into this video. If you saw my previous comment you'll know I don't always agree with what you do, but you EARNED it. So, respect.
Btw, I actually came back here to send you this:
ruclips.net/video/3JIWwDW_OzA/видео.html
Given your output and the subject of MGTOW I think you can do something with it. You'll see the relation around the 6:15 mark.
Cheers!
I feel like I’m pressured to want to hook up cause I’m a guy but I don’t it’s just weird for me. It’s made me feel even more hollow and sad after and I can admit that. I’ve always been a relationship type of person, People should do things cause they want to not out of what society is telling them. This video helped a lot thank you.
I don’t care if my friends choose to hook up with people, not my business and it’s their choice. But i hate how hook up culture shames other people who wanna wait till marriage or wait until they find the right one to have sex with. I personally don’t like hook up culture as I don’t like the idea of having sex with someone I’m not in love with, I don’t wanna feel like a rebound or feel tossed aside, and again, thats just how I feel. I want to have a strong connection with someone, it just feels reassuring.
You're absolutely correct in my humble opinion. One should indeed be free to do what makes them happy, whatever that may be. The only thing I will add is ....promiscuity is always a risk. If you're fine with that risk, and are willing to accept what may come with that, then so be it. But in my experience, it many times doesn't work so well in the long run, and the risk is a bit higher for Women. But we're here to learn, so do what you like, and see how it works for you. Great video.
i think we broke the balance of natural relationships by imposing rules on them such as forbidding intercourse between men and women before marriage which then brought hookup culture saying its not normal for a woman or a man who has never experianced sex before to have intercourse with penetration at the night of the wedding. of course that come from my eastern culture point of view, my personal opinion is that they are both extremes beceause they impose certain rules while it is better for one to not follow either ones and decide what's best for him and his partner regardless of the ..."hip" that was going at that time
I’m from the west and totally agree. The sexual liberation movement in the west is nothing more than a way for people to signal how hip and with the times they are as it’s a response to the sexual oppression society has traditionally upheld. What’s even more disgusting is how it’s been labeled feminism for women to give their bodies to men who let’s be real are the ones who mostly benefit from hook ups.
It’s very sad to see the negative effects it’s had yet people who are very clearly hurt by it still claim they feel liberated. If they truly were they wouldn’t have so much regret or feel so horrible about it. To me true liberation is knowing what you want/what works for you and doing it in a way that you can live with yourself whether that’s hooking up, waiting till a relationship, or waiting till marriage.
There’s Nothing wrong with casual , consensual hook ups. They’re just not for everyone
Felix Midas maybe if you were more female and less desperate sounding . Cheers 😁😊!
yes there is
it is degeneracy
Honestly I think everyone is free to do what they want, but girls shouldn't feel pressure (or be encouraged) to have hookups to fit in. When I was younger I would feel pressured to have my first kiss, have sex and all that stuff but then realized that things will happen eventually and naturally and you dont have to be like everyone else and have hookups to be cool or anything. Just do what will make you feel happy and good.
Am I the only one who thinks it’s okay? It is up to you to do what you want, it’s your right. The point of hookups is having sex for 1 night when you want it badly. And if you don’t like it, don’t do it. That is easy. I am sick of hearing people labeling everything from the feminism and over tolerance point of view 🤦🏽♀️
you may see this as a weird way, but sex for me has a caffeine affect for me i do it once then the next day i forget about the experience as if it never happened. I told my parents about this and they said that i have a problem (not in a bad way of course they where understanding) everyone is different in their one way and having sex with someone wont get me emotionally attached to them, its their character and how they treat their life and others as a whole. many of my hookups have the same mindset as me and we agreed not to catch feelings and just enjoy the experience :)
Do it only if you truly want it, not because other people say you should, or because other people do it
Seems to me that there’s a pretty straightforward correlation between increased promiscuity in society and diminishing family unity.
I’m a sixty one year old guy who has witnessed a marked increase in divorce rates, single parent households, and length of average time for people to truly mature in my lifetime.
Also seems to be far more people who never become productive members of society than ever before.
where are you from? In the U.S divorce rates are dropping. Lowest they've been in 40 years.
I personally experienced different options regarding sexual acitivity: I spent 2,5 years in a realtionship where my partner and I didn't have intercourse because both of us decided to wait. I experienced having a fwb as well as a few casual encounters with people who I've known before that (no strangers, no ons). I personally never felt pressured to have casual sex. And it definitely did not effect my desire to have meaningful relationships or to settle down. In fact every relationship I have or had was and is meaningful to me. I would not choose to be intimate with someone if I didn't care for them and if I felt that they didn't care for me. I have to feel safe, comfortable and connected to that person. For the time being I consciously chose not to engange in casual sexual encounters anymore and I wouldn't mind to have a partner again who's celibate.~
That’s beautiful. For me the issue is people who haven’t had healthy hook ups acting like they’re liberated and free when deep down they are miserable and are just hooking up because they just want to fit in not because they actually want to. I think there is freedom in knowing what you want, doing it because you want to. and not feeling bad about it. To me that is true liberation whether you are in to hooking up, waiting till you’re in a relationship or waiting till marriage.
So really impressed you've changed Ure mindset,but still could I know wts u're age like and fr how time you did casual encounters and now it's been how mch time since you stopped, it'll be again an example fr ppl out there
A large part of the reason why youngsters engage in casual hookups is because they want sx but feel they are not ready for commitment, that they lack the experience to be able to decide who to commit to, so casual sx is a way of increasing that experience. But they especially girls are not warned of the tragic and traumatic consequences that they will face as a result of casual sx. The truth needs to be spoken so people can make informed choices.
I’m muslin and I’m very thankful for feeling great with being single until got marred. It’s my decision without any external influence.
Ghxstwave I don’t even care, coz I feel pity for them.
Muslin ???
Fantastic Lana, found you after watching a Jordan Peterson video, I'm totally subscribed!
So, she is 100% for "sexual freedom", but against hookup culture. The way I see it, she wants freedom for women to optimize for hypergamy, but at the same deny men the option of practicing polygamy... Or am I missing something here?
Bingo
Just understand them, some people are just not into or born with the traditional and conservative believes.
One should know what harms them and destroys them