I Stopped being Judgmental and it Changed my Life

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 28 авг 2024

Комментарии • 1,1 тыс.

  • @LanaBlakely
    @LanaBlakely  5 лет назад +1358

    How much thought have you given into whether or not you're judgemental, and have you ever thought about how changing that might change your life for the better?

    • @slappy8941
      @slappy8941 5 лет назад +15

      Yeah let's just abandon all standards and people indulge whatever degeneracy they like.

    • @Zayindjejfj
      @Zayindjejfj 5 лет назад +44

      I think everyone is judgmental to a degree. It also seems to be very involuntary, since you have to really choose not to be judgmental.
      Or at least put it aside and act accordingly.
      And I do believe judgement is good to have when using it to determine certain things.
      Obviously you don't want to be with people that are destructive and terrible to be around. You'd have to be judgmental to acknowledge something like that and take precautions when needed.

    • @kibbykibby
      @kibbykibby 5 лет назад +31

      Interesting video.
      When you are being unjugdemental, are you not expressing your opinions out loud to anyone, not even to yourself? Or are you suppressing your brain from forming those opinions in the first place?

    • @nickcarter5569
      @nickcarter5569 5 лет назад +8

      Haha. Dude you kick ass. This is such great content! 😁

    • @arande3
      @arande3 5 лет назад +10

      Mhm yeah I'm pretty judgmental. It's a skill I've had to develop to be more judgmental on purpose. I'm naturally the ultimate Devil's Advocate so I have to kind of force myself to make decisions and act on them.

  • @mariellacusano
    @mariellacusano 4 года назад +2895

    I used to be so judgmental, when I realized how horrible of a person I was and changed, I gained so much confidence and felt so good.

    • @Elyhhk
      @Elyhhk 4 года назад +8

      Tell me more!

    • @sunyalam4538
      @sunyalam4538 4 года назад +8

      how??

    • @mariellacusano
      @mariellacusano 4 года назад +224

      To the people asking about it: Honestly, I judged people for a long time and I don’t know why. I used to be super depressed and insecure with social anxiety, so you can understand how I felt. I decided something needed to change, starting with me judgement. Every time I had one negative thought about someone else, I quickly thought of something I liked about them. That’s what worked me. I realized the reason I was so insecure is because I was judgmental, not just for others, but towards myself, as well. I learned to love myself and appreciate the people around me.

    • @KristinaLovesJustin
      @KristinaLovesJustin 4 года назад +24

      Mariella Cusano yes!! Amazing! Dealing with other people’s life takes all energy!

    • @themango9644
      @themango9644 4 года назад +1

      Yea that's sad

  • @Lightbulb909
    @Lightbulb909 5 лет назад +3739

    After much introspection, I’ve concluded that whisper in the back of my mind that people around me are judging me is actually just me judging myself and no more.

  • @kailey3396
    @kailey3396 4 года назад +1787

    Here’s a tip on how to be less judgemental: if the first thought that comes to your mind is judgy reinforce it with a second thought that is nicer and compliments that person. For example the first thought could be “wow they look trashy” the second thought afterwards could compliment what you just judged like “they’re eyes are pretty” or “they look like a nice person.” The first thought is what you’ve been trained to think but the second thought always shows your true character.

    • @abigaillprado
      @abigaillprado 4 года назад +6

      what do i do if I tend to judge because I say without thinking :/

    • @kailey3396
      @kailey3396 4 года назад +1

      Abigail Prado just to clarify you say things without thinking. And what comes out is judge mental?

    • @marissandigan838
      @marissandigan838 4 года назад +6

      @@abigaillprado Hmm.. I think if that person takes it personally, it depends on a person if he/she allow to compromise what you want to say instead. But if that person doesn't, an apologize is enough and just move on. Because what's important is you learn and be a better version of yourself.
      I don't know if it make sense.. 😓

    • @primdefying5122
      @primdefying5122 4 года назад +11

      @@marissandigan838 I partly agree but you can't decide for someone if that person takes things personally or not. You can't controle someone elses feelings. What you can controle is your own reaction and the words you use (:

    • @marissandigan838
      @marissandigan838 4 года назад +3

      @@primdefying5122 yes, I strongly agree on you.. What I really mean to this is that there is a different reaction of people depending on how the judgement impacts them.. Thank you for correcting the right phrase.. I am really lack of vocabulary 'cause I'm not fluent to speak english..

  • @lucy-ql8xr
    @lucy-ql8xr 4 года назад +773

    benefits:
    1. more compassionate
    2. good tempered
    3. don't take it personally
    4. healthier relationships
    5. more open minded
    6. more appreciative
    how?
    1. see things through a natural lens
    2. change of phrasing
    3. pause
    start by seeing things through a natural lens, then pause to think, pick your words wisely

  • @eat_ze_bugs
    @eat_ze_bugs 5 лет назад +2255

    Be humble. That's the key.

    • @ItSAaliya_onSCREEN
      @ItSAaliya_onSCREEN 4 года назад +23

      BE HUMBLE, SIT DOWN 🎵🎶

    • @Kaybye555
      @Kaybye555 4 года назад +10

      @@RyzeVirtualNatureNHiking I think it has more to with tolerance than being humble. You might need to slowly let go of control. Breath. It is normal to have a firat thought when something uosets you but think in that instant about how that might possibly not affect you in the future. So it is not worth it to fight or be angry

    • @starshiningstar3639
      @starshiningstar3639 4 года назад

      Agreed 👍 👍

    • @Elyhhk
      @Elyhhk 4 года назад

      @Tacøs ツツ 💓

    • @Victory735
      @Victory735 4 года назад

      Has anyone ever praised others ,like saying they are beautiful?And does that influence your confidence about your own look? I just wonder how you guys feel when you praise someone who's good looking.

  • @Omar_P.S9inchhs
    @Omar_P.S9inchhs 4 года назад +1881

    Emotions are contagious, if you radiate hate it's reflected back at you, judgement is a form of hate.

    • @onezerotwofour184
      @onezerotwofour184 4 года назад +12

      Complete nonsense.
      Take what ever it is that you define as the opposite of hate (perhaps some people call that love) and even then for all practical purposes it's a conditional occurrence and therefore it fundamentally depends on judgement and being judgemental.

    • @insomniaaaaa4813
      @insomniaaaaa4813 4 года назад +10

      @@onezerotwofour184 they're talking about making negative judgement on people.

    • @onezerotwofour184
      @onezerotwofour184 4 года назад +2

      have a good day
      That doesn't refute what I wrote.

    • @insomniaaaaa4813
      @insomniaaaaa4813 4 года назад +8

      @@onezerotwofour184 no but what I'm saying is that the point is not that you shouldn't judge things, but that you shouldn't be overly harsh without justifiable cause, ie. Judging a movie by being really mean about it wont accomplish anything but make people dislike you. If you just state your opinion neutrally it's much more kind and makes you more fun to be with. I think also in general you will be more likeable if you're less negatively judgemental. It's just that judgement is now associated with negativity.

    • @onezerotwofour184
      @onezerotwofour184 4 года назад +7

      elenainsomnia
      I don't disagree with any of that.
      The essence of my point is nothing more than it's impossible to not be judgemental if you have any preferences (that isn't bad).
      Suggesting it's the judgement which is bad ("judgement is a form of hate") is simply incorrect, which is evident by my example that even something which defined as the complete opposite as hate, still requires judgement.
      Being a negative or hateful person is a different topic altogether but again I see your point✌️✌

  • @betteroneself1795
    @betteroneself1795 4 года назад +469

    I decided not to be a judgemental from today onwards and i don't feel comfortable writing something in English and posting online because i don't have good English and i am doing it . I want to come out of my comfort zone. Thank u for your video and it inspired me ❤️

    • @maddsn
      @maddsn 4 года назад +50

      Your English is fantastic! Seriously, keep it up, you deserve to be confident in your ability and I'm super proud! Much love

    • @betteroneself1795
      @betteroneself1795 4 года назад +13

      @@maddsn thank u so much

    • @celestelemonnier6247
      @celestelemonnier6247 4 года назад +8

      Your english is perfect 👌❤️

    • @soniathomass
      @soniathomass 4 года назад +10

      Your English is really amazing girl.. Seriously...I'm proud of you💜💜

    • @waiwaimein
      @waiwaimein 4 года назад +3

      Are you Nepali, perhaps?

  • @jaclynd7342
    @jaclynd7342 4 года назад +245

    When I notice that I'm feeling judgmental towards someone, it usually reflects on some repressed insecurity of my own. V helpful when I feel judgmental towards someone, because then I can be like "aha!" and actually realize something about myself that I may not have otherwise noticed.

    • @mysecretsketchbook865
      @mysecretsketchbook865 4 года назад +2

      Thankyou very much for being honest. Peace from England UK

    • @victoria9535
      @victoria9535 3 года назад +3

      Yes. It's TRUE. It's also form of jealously too.

  • @paulliboiron8350
    @paulliboiron8350 5 лет назад +387

    You face doesn't hide the awkwardness you feel. Thanks for sharing your awkwardness so we could have a real conversation.

  • @brandonboss6868
    @brandonboss6868 3 года назад +68

    The fact we're all hear listening to her advice is a great step in the right direction. Good job everyone watching!

  • @softerhaze
    @softerhaze 4 года назад +226

    The sound of water in the background is really relaxing

  • @danielanunez6733
    @danielanunez6733 4 года назад +686

    I love how she goes straight to the point and stays on topic I seriously can’t watch RUclipsrs who just keep making faces and talking about their camera

    • @abandonaccount7412
      @abandonaccount7412 4 года назад +24

      Daniela Nunez or sponsoring

    • @solodolo.
      @solodolo. 4 года назад +2

      OMG YES

    • @Alundrahs
      @Alundrahs Год назад

      Do you? Do you really “love it”?? Wow so interesting to know 🙄

  • @nelia5873
    @nelia5873 5 лет назад +377

    did anyone else notice she got just a bit more comfortable throughout the video... thats amazing!!

  • @natemarx4999
    @natemarx4999 5 лет назад +631

    1). You did great, you can easily do more of these. What a beautiful background. Hearing the sound of water is never annoying.
    2). Great talk as always! We have to self reflect every single day in our lives regardless of age.

    • @LanaBlakely
      @LanaBlakely  5 лет назад +51

      Thank you Nate! The sound of water truly is lovely.

  • @janabeeaddams
    @janabeeaddams 3 года назад +43

    „Everytime we judge someone, we reveal a part of ourselves that needs healing”

  • @carolynso8134
    @carolynso8134 4 года назад +88

    Your presence is so calming. I used to find that when I talk to people I tend to bring up something negative to talk about (i.e. complain about traffic, weather, etc). when I realized that, I didn't want to do that anymore. Now I try to do more active listening or talk about smth positive in my life.

  • @TheDipankarrai
    @TheDipankarrai 4 года назад +342

    I like how sunlight has changed the colour of your ears.

  • @Callisto171
    @Callisto171 4 года назад +130

    Everything is a mirror so I realised that whenever I judged someone/something,it shows who I am as a person not them.
    Plus I am the type of person who don't want to be judged so why should I judge others?
    Also you attract a lot of good friends because they subconsciously feel comfortable with you,they know you always try to understand first and not judge.
    And thank you for spreading the word ♡ this video was also super calming

    • @danielc5783
      @danielc5783 4 года назад +2

      My psychologist told me something similar to this, you're very very right!!

    • @safala
      @safala 4 года назад +1

      My mother always told me this since I was quite little. That has shaped me a lot.

    • @mysecretsketchbook865
      @mysecretsketchbook865 4 года назад +1

      Thankyou Luna Dear. Peace from England UK

  • @sol_di_14
    @sol_di_14 4 года назад +154

    I just realized how immature I am lol
    But I wanna change, so that people enjoy my company and I can have good relationships😊

    • @Sattuuuu762
      @Sattuuuu762 4 года назад +1

      Yeah me too!
      We will change 🤎

    • @mysecretsketchbook865
      @mysecretsketchbook865 4 года назад +3

      You have the Power to do it so do it NOW. Peace from England UK

    • @abrahampalmer8761
      @abrahampalmer8761 3 года назад

      Same is toxic for myself and others to

    • @SamsonOng
      @SamsonOng 4 месяца назад +1

      Hope you're proud of how far you've come over these 3 years!

  • @Lightbulb909
    @Lightbulb909 5 лет назад +602

    I love how she observing her surrounding. Her eyes are darting around, looking to see if people are looking and silently judging. But also to see who’s around her. I would do the exact same thing.

    • @Lightbulb909
      @Lightbulb909 4 года назад

      doug robertson She said she’s been?

    • @Lightbulb909
      @Lightbulb909 4 года назад +1

      doug robertson I am not of the we, then.

    • @ughhhmcrbinch5583
      @ughhhmcrbinch5583 4 года назад +6

      doug robertson wow that is a crazy assertion

    • @randomaccessfemale
      @randomaccessfemale 4 года назад +13

      @doug robertson I doubt it. That is what introverts do. They observe people and their surroundings in order to not be surprised and be prepared for whatever.

    • @pupinia6936
      @pupinia6936 4 года назад +1

      @@randomaccessfemale Or just observant people in general?

  • @luna_intheclouds
    @luna_intheclouds 4 года назад +197

    This is so weird. I just had this talk with my boyfriend before watching this video, bit different but with the same result. I started analyzing why I was always so irritated at everything lately. Like, literally EVERYTHING. Obviously before jumping into the conclusion that I had anger issues I decided to self analyze myself and I started to notice that every negative thought I had about anybody and including my persona is what was affecting me so much. It’s been a bit over a week that I decided to stop being so judge mental and I can’t say with certainty that it will 100 % work but given the circumstances right now of not being able to go out I will continue this journey and I’m positive this will work out for me in the long run because I’m feeling much better mentally. And as I came across this old video of yours it has reinforced the idea to continue this method. So in a way, thank you!

    • @dianadias3
      @dianadias3 4 года назад +7

      This is amazing.. It really shows that a judgemental mindset really has an effect on your quality of life and humour..
      For me I`ve noticed that when I am very judgemental, I stop socializing, I am very angry, I have a lot of arguments..
      This is something that we usually dont speak about but it is something crucial that is affecting our lives..

    • @luna_intheclouds
      @luna_intheclouds 4 года назад +2

      Diana Days it truly is amazing isn’t it?! These topics could potentially be what we need to hear to live a much better life. At least I think so.

    • @dianadias3
      @dianadias3 4 года назад +2

      @@luna_intheclouds yes, at least I would be more sociable for sure, and I would love people more..

    • @luna_intheclouds
      @luna_intheclouds 4 года назад +1

      Diana Days it’s a challenge but I’m sure we can achieve this! 💛

    • @therighteousmind6708
      @therighteousmind6708 3 года назад +1

      Lunytoons more like Lunatoons

  • @AmaryllisTV
    @AmaryllisTV 5 лет назад +32

    Facing things that make you uncomfortable means growth! This is an awesome way to face your fears.

  • @johndutchman
    @johndutchman 5 лет назад +410

    Thank you for displaying your courage .. I'm also quite introverted .. and I think you did it wonderfully.

  • @samm5327
    @samm5327 4 года назад +51

    I think that when you truly learn to let go of negative judgement, you’ll stop worrying about the judgement of others. And even if they are judging you, you’ll be able to understand that they’re still on their own journey to letting go of that judgement. Thank you for this enlightening video! :)

    • @ukhtiiiojo9186
      @ukhtiiiojo9186 3 года назад +1

      PERIODT!

    • @fzprof1756
      @fzprof1756 2 года назад

      Interesting. Yeah maybe if u judge less that can make u care less about what others think of u

  • @MrFairoz1
    @MrFairoz1 5 лет назад +161

    1-See things through natural lens
    2-Pause to think.
    3-Pick your words.
    Love that Lana >>
    You did great job in this video. I enjoyed it.
    answering your question:
    I think being judgmental or not is not always a choice you make. I think our previous experiences impact on how we think or act. However, I do believe that the more we become conscious about it the better we get in controlling our thoughts.

    • @LanaBlakely
      @LanaBlakely  5 лет назад +11

      Thank you very much Abdullah! And thank you for sharing your thoughts.

  • @Malinhagen
    @Malinhagen 4 года назад +93

    I really loved how this video was filmed out in public. With all the distractions and people yelling in the background it felt so raw and real, and I felt it just made your video even more honest and beautiful. I truly love the message in this video.

  • @dani-xw3lc
    @dani-xw3lc 4 года назад +53

    my mom is very judgmental of everyone so I'm going to send this to her

    • @mysecretsketchbook865
      @mysecretsketchbook865 4 года назад +10

      Thankyou for not giving up on your mother. Sending Love Peace Prayers to you. Peace from England UK

  • @InshasChoice
    @InshasChoice 4 года назад +19

    🤘🏼 we only judge others because we ourselves are insecure, closed and unfulfilled. You have a wonderful way with words, you speak with grace and politeness. So sweet and attractive.

  • @jwc6444
    @jwc6444 4 года назад +33

    It's cool that you recognized this at a young age. I know people over 40 who still are judgemental and not open minded. These individuals wonder why no one wants to open up and express their feelings .enjoying your videos.Thank you

  • @TheAnadromist
    @TheAnadromist 5 лет назад +18

    Courage isn't doing what is easy and having no fears about it. Courage is attempting what fills you with fear and walking through it. Thanks for doing this Lana.

  • @bharati4076
    @bharati4076 4 года назад +111

    We all save a lot of energy by just remembering that everyone’s wired differently, morality is not objective, everyone has their own baggage. Emotional maturity is when you know when to pull out of a discussion/argument/quarrel when you know nothing is going to come out if it (which is most times). Say less, think more., I guess

  • @onlythenamehavebeenchanged8241
    @onlythenamehavebeenchanged8241 4 года назад +26

    It’s really cool that the temp of her speech is slow, it gives a better chance to dive in that location with all the sounds around you and Lana sitting in front of you and explaining you how to stop being judgmental

    • @jamie_rants4218
      @jamie_rants4218 4 года назад +2

      It’s a personal pet peeve of mine when people speak slow but it’s just a matter of personal preference. I barely ever finish a yt vid without skipping it or speeding it up

  • @DorianoPaisanoCarta
    @DorianoPaisanoCarta 5 лет назад +92

    So wise beyond your years. Took me much longer to come to these revelations. Wish I was younger when I discovered this important truth for finding happiness. Learning how little we know and how much more we can learn is the greatest knowledge. Learning what comes around goes around is so key. We need to treat others as we want to be treated which is like one of the golden rules we all ignore in youth. You're so ahead of the game Lana.

  • @basedtom1
    @basedtom1 5 лет назад +39

    I've found that I'm the biggest judge of myself. I would be dying if I had to film myself in public, but you did it so courageously and it just heightens the message of the video. You're the most insightful person I've watched on RUclips and I'm grateful for your content.
    Also, I am judgmental as hell! I say I hate certain films, video games, music, art, literature. I guess there's a difference between having certain tastes and being judgmental, and I've been the latter. It happens all the time with music, that I'll hate a certain artist's album, then a month later I'm listening to it all the time and looking back on how naive I was. Thank you for this.

    • @LanaBlakely
      @LanaBlakely  5 лет назад +6

      Thank you so much for those kind words, Tom, and for sharing your story!

    • @basedtom1
      @basedtom1 5 лет назад +3

      @@LanaBlakely All thanks are owed to you! Thank you for being a light in the world

  • @Tim_G_Bennett
    @Tim_G_Bennett 5 лет назад +77

    Congratulations on pushing your comfit zone. I find I'm less judgemental when I'm doing okay and more judgemental when I going through a rough patch. This video has been a good reminder because I have been going through a rough patch lately.

    • @CareBlair222
      @CareBlair222 5 лет назад +8

      I often find myself envious more so than judgmental. I have this paranoid thought that other people are so much better off than me lol......its wierd.

    • @sezzyahmed7373
      @sezzyahmed7373 4 года назад +4

      @@CareBlair222 Same here! My judging does come from insecurity but unfortunately from jealousy too as ı've seen a lot for my age and missed out on life due to my illnesses and mental health so it makes me compare my self to others and judge them

  • @shshnk11
    @shshnk11 3 года назад +8

    Getting out of your comfort zone & doing this kind of thing(filming in public) really inspired me. Inspired me to always keep pushing, inspired me to conquer my social "little" anxiety. Such a strong character. Thank you. 😊

  • @oldchanneltryagain
    @oldchanneltryagain 2 года назад +6

    I loved how you looked so much more comfortable when talking to your audience, thanking them and all, like you were really talking to them directly so it wasn't as awkward as talking to your camera :)

  • @chrisp6458
    @chrisp6458 5 лет назад +9

    I love what you said about what you know. It is very similar to what Socrates said about wisdom... "A wise person knows only that they know nothing." All greatness begins with humility. You are beautiful inside and out.

    • @LanaBlakely
      @LanaBlakely  5 лет назад +2

      You are very kind Chris. Thank you.

    • @chrisp6458
      @chrisp6458 5 лет назад +3

      @@LanaBlakely No need to thank me ma'am. I was just making an observation. The grass is green. The sky is blue. You are beautiful.

  • @mysecretsketchbook865
    @mysecretsketchbook865 4 года назад +10

    When you stop being judgemental have empathy and mercy for other people and spread Love then you reach the next level of consciousness. Peace from England UK

  • @chamallow989
    @chamallow989 4 года назад +96

    Lately, I realized I though people were judgmental but I was just thinking that because I kept judging others. I ended up thinking that everybody was like that but really, most people just don’t care about others ( in a good way ).

  • @thewonderlandfox1575
    @thewonderlandfox1575 4 года назад +6

    Because when you stop judging other people.. you will automatically stop judging yourself. And that’s the key to happiness. ❤️

  • @klaudiaw3038
    @klaudiaw3038 3 года назад +11

    My reflection after I've watch the whole episode. I've been judgemental about this video at first. I've watched first couple minutes then I thought I know everything what you're gonna say and wanted to stop there. Glad I didn't. There is always something we can add on while discussing or rethinking the same topic we went through. No matter how many times we did.
    I really enjoy your calm attitude and that you think before you talk.
    Thanks for this video. Take care

  • @BronwynAlexandriaa
    @BronwynAlexandriaa 4 года назад +4

    Needed to hear this! I need to be more compassionate and soft-hearted. I am actively working on loving people more and being more friendly, kind, and helpful. rather than closed off, Judgmental, and cynical! It’s helping a lot. I had a really bad day yesterday - with people being very mean to me, and this video was nice to watch!

  • @katlegomanale3124
    @katlegomanale3124 5 лет назад +282

    My anxiety would be on a 💯

  • @LasseAke-tv5yb
    @LasseAke-tv5yb 5 лет назад +46

    You opened up a new perspective for me. I'm surprised by how something I've never paid much attention to has impacted you so much. Thank you for sharing your journey. Keep up the amazing work!

    • @LanaBlakely
      @LanaBlakely  5 лет назад +7

      I'm glad to hear that, Lasse. Thank you for the encouragement!

  • @karina-ye7kz
    @karina-ye7kz 3 года назад +6

    I know i’m late to this video. But I just want to say, i’ve never felt so inspired by a video more than this one, in regards to being confident enough to challenge yourself. I mean, you really sat there and pushed through that wall of discomfort that is so evident throughout the video. Amazing! I love this and I love you keep doing what you’re doing.

    • @SteAndRach
      @SteAndRach 3 года назад

      You are not late, We're glad we found your comment, and we found this video; it Is remarkable how cool she seek discomfort, and yes, you are right is so evident. We have been doing quite the same, pushing ourselves to the pain and trying to be less judgemental; that's why we wanted to create our last video sharing our tips on how you can be less judgemental and seek happiness instead.

  • @victoriahilke6941
    @victoriahilke6941 4 года назад +12

    You speak so clearly to what I want to pursue with myself and my habits in life. I'm so grateful to have found your channel. Thankyou for putting yourself out there and going public with your words like this. I could only imagine how much of a challenge it is and APPLAUD you for that! You're on my same wavelength and I just love what you have to say!

  • @TheLineCutter
    @TheLineCutter 5 лет назад +15

    Good for you. You'll only get better.
    I turned my back on judgementalism(another ism) when I heared Craig Ferguson at Larry Kings show say it's the type of person he hates most.
    Thing is. I was very judgemental in my early life, and when my own life got tough and I wasn't able to handle it properly I met the other side of that coin. And now I regret having ever been so arrogant.

    • @TheLineCutter
      @TheLineCutter 5 лет назад +2

      @Lana Blakely thanks for the heart lovely. I went and looked up the bit for you cus I think you'll like the vitriol with which he speaks it. This statement was so loaded with personal grief that it hit me deeper than it would've otherwise.
      at 24:40
      ruclips.net/video/qD6ad8BejfQ/видео.html

  • @-CintiaVanessaMilala
    @-CintiaVanessaMilala 3 года назад +16

    Imagine how beautiful world would be if everyone watch this videos and learn to be less judgemental.

    • @SteAndRach
      @SteAndRach 3 года назад +1

      Absolutely - You can see how she's seeking to the discomfort and trying to be more open and honest saying, "I had judge people" She's an inspiration for us; we did a similar video sharing tips on how can you be less judgemental and seek happiness, you should check it out if you are interested in that topic!

  • @wanjirumwoka6187
    @wanjirumwoka6187 4 года назад +6

    Thank you for posting this and being brave to film in public 🙌🏿 I also realized that I can be pretty judgemental. Learning to take time to pause before coming to a final conclusion.

  • @louise1595
    @louise1595 4 года назад +4

    the rawness of this video made it feel like a conversation i really needed to have, all your points were really helpful.

  • @averykira7968
    @averykira7968 4 года назад +9

    This showed up in my recommended and I’m so glad I did. I’m definitely taking a lot from this, thank you 💛

  • @MissyLeaBeauty
    @MissyLeaBeauty 5 лет назад +12

    I am working on being less judgmental since a bit and I am already seeing changes but there is still some effort to do.
    This is an amazing video! Keep up the good work!

  • @drcaffeine1974
    @drcaffeine1974 5 лет назад +18

    I recognise so much of myself in you from when I was your age, except for those exceptionally good looks of yours, dear Lana.
    You’re going about overcoming your anxieties in just the right way. In my own case, I overcame my fear of being among people in crowded public spaces by purchasing a lovely, ancient yet very trusty Leica M6J, complete with 35mm Summicron lens and lots of roles of Kodak’s excellent Tri-X 400 film with which I, by sheer accident, began my career in forensic war- and reportage-photography.
    More or less shoving my camera and lens in people’s faces and risking them not especially liking it helped me overcome several other anxieties as well.
    Keep up your good videos and in a few years from now, with any luck, Sweden and the world might think of you in equal terms as Sissela Bok.

  • @artinsarchives399
    @artinsarchives399 3 года назад +8

    Growing up, I am surrounded by judgemental relatives that makes me so insecure now. Sometimes, I know, I am also being judgmental to others too, but I get so guilty easily. I am not comfortable talking about other person's business or issues, especially if the person being talked about is not with us, it makes me feel like these people around me also does the same thing to me when I am not around them. I'm trying to build my confidence but being surrounded by judgmental people makes it so hard.

  • @CB-dl1vg
    @CB-dl1vg 5 лет назад +75

    Being less judgemental essentially opens you up to an entire world you couldn't access before.
    I feel like it also has a noticeable physiological effect, you feel like you have more room to breath. You're not in a constant state of both defence and attack but rather embody a measured openness to life and therefore are able to accept more of its "gifts". As you stated, these come in the form of stronger, more genuine relationships, engagement in deeper more balanced conversation about film, music and so on. Funnily enough it also gives a greater sense of responsibility to other people as you pointed out when you mentioned you could give better advice.
    Shed judgement and its effects are profound. Nice video!

    • @CareBlair222
      @CareBlair222 5 лет назад +1

      Having a conversation with a judgmental person is like stepping on glass. Horrid experience. Boring and dense with a touch of annoying insecure negativity. I refuse to talk on the phone with my mother cause she is way too judgmental lol

  •  4 года назад +7

    I'm so grateful that I find you,you are such a wonderful,beautiful,smart and inspiring woman. I appreciate everything you say.You are like a healer and a teacher to my mind.Thank you ♥

  • @anneliesjoss
    @anneliesjoss 4 года назад +6

    This makes so much sense to me. It’s so nice to see a young person like you come to this realization. It’s taken me a lot longer to get there, possibly because of my upbringing.

  • @ohood4863
    @ohood4863 5 лет назад +7

    You are a beautiful soul, my dear. I have just found your channel and I am very grateful. I have a strong feeling you will be a wonderful addition to my life.

    • @LanaBlakely
      @LanaBlakely  5 лет назад +2

      Thank you for this lovely comment. I'm glad you are here.

  • @littlenorway3135
    @littlenorway3135 4 года назад +11

    When you don't really know you're THAT judgmental, and Lana just pokes every one of those nerves and calling it out

  • @lenap6815
    @lenap6815 4 года назад +5

    I think this is the most humble, grown-up way of being which most adults will never achieve.

  • @elizabethd7551
    @elizabethd7551 4 года назад +35

    I am happy I finally found someone with the same opinions as me (considering this and other your videos). I stopped being judgemental a couple of years ago and I came to it myself. However, there are a couple things I noticed and would like to share.
    Firstly, you can’t stop being judgemental at one moment because you will keep judging people in your mind. You will look at this person and think, ‘gosh, how can someone wear this?’. The thing is, if after this you think of ‘stop, what am I doing? I should not judge this person’, then you’re on a right path.
    Secondly, a lot of people around us are judgemental and some don’t want to stop being that way. For instance, you can walk with friend(s) and they will start judging people they know and/or people that just pass by. To that I always ask ‘why do you judge them?’ But I only get a ‘because I hate them’ in reply. It’s hard not to be influenced by people around us and I really try to, but sometimes I am and after that I feel shame.
    I think those of you who try being not judgemental noticed these things, too. I wish I had a friend like Lana.

  • @JASmian._.
    @JASmian._. 4 года назад +2

    The only person I really judge is myself, and what I’ve been trying to help myself understand is that the majority of everyone has a very similar mindset. I am the type of person to read over my texts four or five times before sending it to try to make sure it sounds chill, but not too rude or casual at the same time. It sounds psychotic, but really I just have extremely terrible social anxiety even though I love my friends and hanging out. I will literally come back home from a nice lunch with friends or a party and cry til I have a migraine and have to force myself to sleep just thinking about how much I hate myself. I’ve been pushing myself lately to go out of my comfort zone and coaching myself to fight against my social anxiety by joining my university’s committees and volunteering in orgs because it gets in the way of so many opportunities.

  • @rylee1100
    @rylee1100 4 года назад +8

    Something I’ve come to realize is the huge barrier judging people puts between possible relationships with them

  • @AriLove225
    @AriLove225 4 года назад +8

    I just realised that, Ive been doing this for years. Without even having to think about MAKING a change in my life. It just came naturally to me.

  • @mattanjabac3692
    @mattanjabac3692 4 года назад +9

    I love how this is 1 take, its really natural

  • @ghulehanon2730
    @ghulehanon2730 4 года назад +3

    This is the first video of yours that I’m watching and I’ve got to say, you have this certain clarity to you that I’m striving to achieve within myself. I currently feel very lost in almost every regard and am beginning my journey to self-discovery and improvement. This video helped a lot, and gave me so much foresight into changing myself in a way I didn’t know I could.

  • @davidhill129
    @davidhill129 4 года назад +4

    You brought a very big smile to my face. You stepped out of your comfort zone. Well done girl.

  • @zelixleo5
    @zelixleo5 5 лет назад +6

    You are dropping some real jewels here. thank you for reminding me to consider my thoughts and express them as such. often times we try to command the thoughts of others to match ours and will not accept anything else

  • @blyn584
    @blyn584 2 года назад +2

    Being too conscious on yourself even in a very little way possible is linked with how you view or judge others by your lenses. You think too much of how they might view you, because it's an impact of how you view them. Thus, I've realized that getting rid of a toxic judgmental traits can empower myself either. It can foster my sense of self: my self confidence, self trust, and as what you've said, understanding. Hence, being less judgemental can make our lives be lived more beautifully.
    Thank you for this video Ms. Lana, I genuinely learned a lot!
    xoxo. ❤️

  • @Msheavenlyconnection
    @Msheavenlyconnection 5 лет назад +63

    The introvert part of you is in this video is stepping aside, your growing Dear👌❣️

    • @LanaBlakely
      @LanaBlakely  5 лет назад +19

      Gotta challenge myself! :)

    • @t5396
      @t5396 5 лет назад

      @@LanaBlakely what is your ethnicity?

    • @Msheavenlyconnection
      @Msheavenlyconnection 5 лет назад

      @@LanaBlakely thanks for sharing the moment with us, I'm sure you've helped others that have tuned in keep on keeping on!

  • @kimleawel850
    @kimleawel850 3 года назад +3

    Dear Lana, it's so crazy but within a few days, you became a role model to me.
    I recently just found your channel and already absorbed most of your videos. Thank's Lana for sharing you on such a deep level. You really embody what became most important to me in the last few months: "If you want a good life, work on yourself until you love yourself."

  • @Hallowpoet
    @Hallowpoet 5 лет назад +3

    Amazing!! I barely ever spend actual 17 minutes watching someone talk it almost feels like having a conversation and not saying anything back i love u for making these videos

  • @raeasheton3332
    @raeasheton3332 3 года назад +1

    I grew up in an extremely over judgmental home. I’ve heard my mom do it my whole life she heard her mother do it. My mother would always judge people’s appearances job status cleanliness of their home and made instant opinions of them. That same standard was put on me growing up I had to look a certain way perform to be approved of. Conform to what she thought was perfect. The whole time as a child losing my identity. I lost my wonder to play and get dirty I had to be perfect in every way. I confused what love really was. As I became a Christian these negative ways of life really came to light and I started wanting better. I began changing myself. But my mom and my sister still struggle terribly with this, it really breaks my heart and frustrates me to be honest. It’s also affected my marriage as I’ve been overly critical with my husband. It doesn’t leave room for mistakes it’s not graceful or forgiving at all there’s no love in it. I don’t want to be that way I want to break free and see the world through free eyes not only for myself but for others as well;
    to show the love of Christ.💛

  • @laetitiaandre6082
    @laetitiaandre6082 4 года назад +33

    Everytime I don't like a movie, I find someone who liked it and so I always rewatch the movies and end up liking them everytime xd I don't know why that happens but it does

    • @jule5988
      @jule5988 4 года назад +6

      maybe because they tell you what they liked about it and when you watch it again you‘re gonna draw more attention to that and boom! you like it

  • @lauragatinha7270
    @lauragatinha7270 5 лет назад +6

    I just discovered your channel yesterday and I am very impressed with the content you upload. It’s so deep, meaningful and impactful, I really needed something like this in my life.
    Thank you, Lana for taking the time to share your reflections with us.
    I share a considerable part of your mindset.

  • @aliaalh8522
    @aliaalh8522 4 года назад +3

    i absolutely love this video, its so real and inspiring,I also enjoyed the sound of the water running in the background

  • @igorpissarenko4949
    @igorpissarenko4949 4 года назад +2

    Being open minded is also what definitely had helped me in being less judgmental. A lot of times we think of someone who's doing something odd to us and immediately starting to think what is wrong with them and why there's pursuing a certain thing, but in reality we don't know the story behind it.
    This is actually inspirational to see you overcoming your fears and getting out of the comfort zone!

  • @izzyamalia1371
    @izzyamalia1371 4 года назад +8

    I always wonder whether or not I am a judgemental person and wasn't sure how I could improve myself. thank u for this :)

  • @HannahEdiaA
    @HannahEdiaA 4 года назад +1

    I like how you present this so calmly. Thank you. Though I do my best not to judge, this is definitely, something I need to consciously think about.

  • @harleylopez9597
    @harleylopez9597 4 года назад +4

    It has truly changed my relationship with others and the way I feel about myself. It's not an easy thing to do and I mess up sometimes but humility is key in those moments as it helps me put myself back in my own place + allows me to see that what I'm doing is wrong so I can wholeheartedly apologize and learn from it.

  • @desmona8225
    @desmona8225 4 года назад +2

    What i’ve learned is that being honest with others and careful with your words makes what could be awkward situations a comfortable normal conversation

  • @mikahran7880
    @mikahran7880 5 лет назад +3

    you trying to coming out of your shell and not caring about others really inspired me thank you

  • @carolineryan2252
    @carolineryan2252 4 года назад +4

    i love this video. your voice is so relaxing and your mind is so beautiful. yay self reflection! moving away from being judgmental is one of the greatest changes ive made in my life too. This video really made me think more about how i can continue to be less judgmental. thank you so much lana! totally subscribing

  • @giulianabacoccini8919
    @giulianabacoccini8919 4 года назад +4

    THANK YOU - for this video. Authentic Raw Sincere Down to earth. LOVE IT! Can’t wait to watch more of your content.

  • @phantomshere
    @phantomshere 4 года назад +2

    It's so relaxing to see you talking, thanks for all your videos, they're helping me to change my lifestyle and the way I see things

  • @jvdhtm
    @jvdhtm 5 лет назад +29

    That was art.

  • @anangelskissinspring330
    @anangelskissinspring330 5 лет назад +21

    This is one more gift for my birthday today. Thank you for that, beautiful. Love ya.

    • @LanaBlakely
      @LanaBlakely  5 лет назад +11

      Happy birthday to you! I hope you've had a wonderful day x

    • @anangelskissinspring330
      @anangelskissinspring330 5 лет назад +8

      @@LanaBlakely
      Thank you, dear. Hope to meet you one day, 'cause you look like a wonderful person to be a friend with.
      May this youtube channel and your work, dedication and effort in general, bring you more and more love, joy, beauty, happiness and success.
      All the best!

  • @ItsAriaFord
    @ItsAriaFord 4 года назад +5

    This personally has really helped me. Thank you for helping me see from another viewpoint. I have noticed that I tend to be quick to assume. And, pausing to think and be open to others opinions as well is something I believe can really help me. Without your video I don't know if I would have begun practicing this new way of thinking. This has been one of, if not the youtube video recommendation that has the potential to really help me in life. Thank you again and stay wonderful

  • @kylielesmeister6277
    @kylielesmeister6277 4 года назад +2

    This is something i am working on myself because i have seen myself be judgemental of myself which would also affect the way I look at others. We live in a very vain world where we subconsciously think that worth comes from physical appearance. Pride is subconsciously condoned. Its a habit and sin that I’ve adapted and it has caused major and unrealistic self-image and confidence issues. I realized that its not a mind problem, its a heart problem. Thank God for jesus and that he forgives and wants to change that. I love videos like this!

  • @safala
    @safala 4 года назад +5

    First of all, I just wanted to tell you that I am so glad I found your channel. I found it because it was in my recommended for another of your videos. I couldn’t watch it because my battery was running low, but seeing the title of your video, I thought that I might like your videos and I was right. This is my first time watching your videos and I love it. As for your question, I am not so judgmental. I am extremely socially anxious and awkward, so I don’t really go and talk to people and get to know them unless they come to me, but I also don’t make opinions about them based on a moment. Of course, sometimes I do get bad vibes from people and I try to stay away from them because based on personal experiences, if I don’t really get positive vibes from people, I won’t really get along with them in the long run. I guess one could say that that is being judgmental (or perhaps not, who knows) but I don’t really make any opinions on them since I don’t know them or whatever that may be going on with them. I’m just like ‘Ooh, I don’t like the vibes this person gives. Imma stay away from them,’ and basically forget about that person. However, it is a constant decision on my part to not make an opinion. I think it had a lot to do with my mother. She always told me that whatever is your judgment towards others is you. What you think of others without getting to know them just shows how you are. And that just stuck cause I didn’t want to be a bad person. The lessons came because a certain person in my life (let’s call her G) was quite judgmental towards others, but she was the person she judged the others to be. For example, G would say Y could possibly be a liar. But G always failed to see how she would lie to others. I noticed that and tell my mom and she would say ‘well you see yourself in others’. That hit me hard because G was a person I really looked up to but I also realized in a young age that some of her traits I really didn’t want to have. And I also realized around the same time that she was calling people what they were not and that habit was rubbing on me. When my mother said that you see yourself in others, I almost completely stopped being judgmental instantly. Like I said, it was a conscious decision, but since I was young and young minds are impressionable, I learnt not to judge pretty quickly. For example, if I saw someone and thought that they seemed to be constantly angry, I would be like, ‘whoa... am I constantly angry? I don’t think I am, but if so why did I think that.’ Of course, I didn’t want to be constantly angry and my mother said that what you judge about others is you. So, I kind of immediately conditioned myself to not think about others as being constantly angry unless I know them and they really were. This went on with a lot of negative things I thought about others and I slowly conditioned myself not to make negative opinions about anyone based on a single moment. I left the positive opinions of course, cause that never hurt anyone. Gradually, I learnt not to be judgmental, but of course, bad habits are eternal and I do get a judgmental thought about someone or something sometimes. But I quickly shut them down cause I am not that person and most likely, the person or thing I judged now is not that kind of person or thing either. Although it has been a lot of years, it is still a conscious choice not to be judgmental but more often than not, it has become as subconscious choice. So yeah, my mother telling me that you see yourself in others when you make instant opinions about them has made me a lot less judgmental than I would’ve been. And I was watching the video, I found out that a lot of positive things you noticed within yourself was the case with me as well, however, I didn’t notice them until you pointed them out.
    Anyways, I loved the video and will be watching more of your videos because they seem really helpful and I am always up for improving (or trying to improve) myself,
    PS. My mother also said that whatever you think others think of you is actually what you think of yourself, but for some reason I never learnt to implement it as much as I implemented the pervious advice (you see ourself in others) in my life. Perhaps it’s because I didn’t want to be over-confident and proud? I don’t know. All I know is that I am just as insecure and socially awkward and anxious now as I was five or even ten years back.

    • @safala
      @safala 4 года назад +1

      Holy! That was an essay. This was just me ranting about my life, so if the sentence structure is wonky, I am really sorry. What I wrote mad sense to me, but a lot of times I am told that it doesn’t make sense to others, so there’s that.

    • @pupinia6936
      @pupinia6936 4 года назад

      I relate to this very personally. This has helped broaden my perspective on what I can do to change my mindset; I admire that trait of being able to condition yourself through small habits. Thank you.

  • @Mariam_Bi
    @Mariam_Bi 21 день назад +1

    You’re super brave!🙌🏼
    The video was helpful but the most inspirational part was you filming it raw, Mashallah♥️

  • @deniselever3840
    @deniselever3840 5 лет назад +60

    Way to challenge yourself and come out of your shell Lana.

  • @GringoOkocha10
    @GringoOkocha10 3 года назад +1

    I've been watching your videos for a while, and this is one of the best, seeing you natural, without much editing and a great subject to talk about. ;)

  • @marissandigan838
    @marissandigan838 4 года назад +3

    So this is my first time ever comment in youtube.. I'm just really glad I found this vlog/channel that I relate so much.. It's like I have a friend who just have the same thoughts and experiences in life.. Thank you for showing up.. Can't wait for more videos of you.. GOD bless you.. 🇵🇭

  • @carolinemoeller5663
    @carolinemoeller5663 2 года назад +1

    I love how raw this video is, this makes me so happy!

  • @garimalive4407
    @garimalive4407 4 года назад +3

    Bravo!! Going live on camera while accepting yourself the way you are...hats off to your honesty and courage.
    As far as my opinion concerned regarding being judgemental, I'm very quick in judging people and putting a full stop on the conversation. But I want to change this habit, so that I can create more harmonious relationships.

  • @danhanna8610
    @danhanna8610 3 года назад +2

    You did a great job presenting your ideas in an organized and straight forward manner. You have a nice manner in speaking and your sincerity and honesty is refreshing. BTW, being nervous is natural, but the key to dealing with it is to express the energy in an outward manner instead of suppressing it inside. I have subscribed to your channel. Have a Great Day!

  • @TheRealMrRobles
    @TheRealMrRobles 4 года назад +26

    When people show you who they are, believe them. There is no need for judgement.