Desexualizing Your Brain Is A Myth - Rainy Car Chat
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- Опубликовано: 24 мар 2024
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Alternate titles (for the algo)
Bring conscious awareness to sexual desire
Repressing your desire creates a dense shadow
The myth of denying yourself
stoicism, stoic, meditations Marcus Aurelius, self improvement, productivity, philosophy, Epictetus, Seneca, Spirituality, Carl Jung, the shadow, Alan watts, The Hero's Journey, Jordan Peterson
#selfimprovement #mensmentalhealth #stoicism
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Shout out to the homie for taking us along for the ride and not even asking for gas money.
I have a small penis sex is out the picture I am too embarrassed to show a women or a man
well to be fair he only lets us ride on the front of his car
Ironically, this came to me in a meditation yesterday. Thought I’d share it here;
“Lust arises out of an improper desire, lack, and a need to control the environment to recover the love that was never shared or experienced naturally.
It is also found in those with a lack of connection to their divine feminine energy and who don’t express their creativity fully or authentically in a healthy, wholesome, uplifting, inspiring, and holy way.”
Sometimes we tend to give complicated solutions and explanatoons to simple problems and questions. Lust is coveted sexual desire and passion.
@@marcus3672 I like both of these responses, fuck
I think you’re both right, but likely are using different definitions of lust. I think the original comment referred to lust in the addictive sense, the ever-longing, incomplete etc kind of lust, which i would agree comes from this lack of healthy and loving natural connection, but yes, lust in its pure and simple form is sexual desire, simple as that.
@@dunno-19 agreed. And I loved the way Marcus above put it. All valid perspectives to hold and play with!
@@Vilify3d lol same
It’s better to push yourself out there and experience the uncomfortable, refrain from keeping yourself suppressed and do things you don’t want to do
Facts! As I'm approaching my 30's most of my friends are either married or have kids. So that has pushed me to go out alone and meet women. So far, I've been having good luck because I don't let my thoughts keep me back and let my confidence lead the way
@@albertozenemij9490 how to build confidence from the ground up? Im at 0. dont have a fulltime job, strugle to look people in their eyes and have conversations. I dont even like walking outside sometimes because i feel like such a depressed failure. Im trying to workout more though oftentimes it feels like rowing/swimming upstream
@Hi_how_r_u_ Get in shape, brother 💪🏽 hit the gym 4-6 times a week, eat healthy and walk with your chest up. Men won't fk with you and women will come to you or give out strong closing signals. You got an ig? I hardly be on here. I'm willing to let you know how I go about it
@@Hi_how_r_u_ You can try slowly getting outside of your comfort zone, as once you do rack up these small achievements, you'll start to gain more confidence in yourself.
@@someguy4071 will do!
Who has left the "pmo" a while ago but still watching The Conscious Man's videos cuz he has insane contents quality? ❤
I did
What is pmo
@@officialthomasjames porn, masturbation and orgasms.
@@officialthomasjames pornography, masturbation, orgasm If u watched the video u would have known
@@officialthomasjames porn/masturbation/orgasm
Interesting. I stopped having sex for about a decade. Had enough of it by 22 to know that it wasn't fulfilling, so I just stopped. Didn't have sex again until my late 30s when I was partnered with a woman who, well, was patient but also wanted to have kids.
Anyway, the point: I never really thought about it. I didn't really even consciously stop. I just focused on the activities that brought me peace and joy. And by the time I was back in the sex game, it was for the first time in my life a fulfilling experience. I think I needed that time (me, personally) to make myself whole before trying ro fill the void in me with casual sex. Because my teens and early 20s were just a string of flings and, looking back, I was still a kid well into m 20s. I had no way to know how to love and accept love, let alone to find it in throttling every woman who expressed desire for me.
Just a rambling thought to add another perspective. Not celibacy-just a shift in priorities and focus.
feels good to throttle tho let's be real
Beautifully worded. Thanks for sharing this man
I’m in my late 20s practicing semen retention 💪🏼 till I find a high quality woman
Were you completely celibate the whole time?
@@umarsubhan7035😂😂😂
This honestly came just when I needed it somehow. I had been doing very well before, going over a month (and multiple months before a relapse) without pmo, but recently I fell back into this hole for the last month. I was able to go a few days again, but I fucked up today. And, I've realized that my suppression and sexual shame makes it oh so much worse. You're advice is incredibly valuable, I've realized I just need to be much more accepting of my desires, while recognizing that it is not a good thing for me to act upon them. A rational, well-informed, and compassionate response, rather than a shaming, insecure response, which may keep the urges at bay for a short while, but not in the long-run. Thanks brother.
So glad the video found you when you needed it man...
synchronicities, God, your higher self,... it is all very real. Honored to get to play very small role with these videos.
"A rational, well-informed, and compassionate response, rather than a shaming, insecure response,"
You hit he nail on the head brother... it's all a process, and relapse is part of that process. Just get back on the horse. You are on right path.. I feel that.
@@TheConsciousMan143 thank you man 🙏
@@dunno-19hope you staying strong bro
bro i really want to thank you. It’s maybe not much but some random stranger reaching out and hoping i’m doing well means a lot. I’ve been struggling to be honest with you, it’s not been easy to keep the self love/discipline up, but honestly this comment helped, so thanks for that my man. Hope ur doing well too bro. 🤝❤️
I have a small penis sex is out the picture I am too embarrassed to show a women or a man😂
Yeah I wholeheartedly agree. Thanks for this chat, been needed for men rn
drive careful buddy. thanks for being a positive voice in my life and many other ppls lives. great words. which can and should be heard and said by others.
Ok, so what I took from this video is:
1. That it's nothing wrong with having these desires and animalistic urges. It's when you don't bring it to conscious awareness and make peace with it, to further surpass that season of obsession/sex urges/lust.
2. PMO isn't necessarily bad, nor is it the answer all and all.
3. Once you start to look for connections with women, you'll get this revelation of how you used to pursue and view them in the past and see things in a different light-damn near in a repulsive manner.
Translation. Cope. Nothing wrong with being inhumane souless and evil.
I agree with you, as men it is completely natural to have those sexual desires but we must learn a healthy way to deal with them. Suppresion is not the answer, thats why Im not a fan of nofap
Nofap is healthy way of dealing with
@@OldSchoolL4D-zb2kt So is chemical castration, what's your point?
@@OldSchoolL4D-zb2ktI think NoFap is a bit much, but NoPorn is for sure the right way to go.
Just wanted to you that I'm beyond grateful for your advice,
and I like how it is always a little different from the mainstream "self improvement" channels.
You've helped me a lot to grow. Thank you.
Honored brother. I'm growing along with you.
This conversation is maybe the one I most needed to have with a father figure whose words I trusted. I am 20. Thank you for being that person in my life for 12 minutes, Ryan. I appreciate you.
Absolutely brother... it's an honor. You got this.
I really like a lot of the key themes you talk about on here, and this video in particular, is very interesting to me. After November of last year, I had begun working on my own spiritual journey and was able to effectively quit the practice of PMO entirely. One critique I would like to give is that, while yes, we do have a somewhat primal "drive". It is important to become conscious of what parts of that animalistic nature come from "us," and what parts of it come from our external environment.
The more time you spend unpacking these desires, the more you will see that a lot of them are rooted in comparison to other people's experiences, or the unrealistic content you have consumed... Ask yourself "do I have this desire because it is mine, or do I have this desire because I want what someone else has had." This, will also help you to dissipate that craving over time.
The animalistic desire isn't something that magically goes away, rather as you explore that piece of yourself, it becomes less important. Your mind will naturally focus it's time on what it deems is most valuable in life, so as this desire becomes less novel, your mind will then be able to move to other, more important things.
I agree with the idea of not ignoring these desires, but alternatively, I think cognitive exploration of why you have them could also be a route toward freeing yourself from their control over you.
Great content, keep it up!
Absolutely brother, I very much agree. Going within and contemplating all of this (including your conditioned beliefs and desires that came from external things) is very much a part of the process.
Appreciate you sharing.
What is pmo?
@@swarleystinson6733 uhh lets see if i can get around this comment f1lter.
Pron -> Mattybation -> O(finish)
Thanks helped a lot!
Thank you, brother. I was raised in a deeply religious home where sexuality was suppressed and shamed, and I’ve been panicking for years because I fall into the tram of pmo often. Thank you for telling me not to shame those desires, but instead, to redirect my energy.
For years I gave myself fully to the desires of my flesh with pmo, but that part of me remained; it did not die off. I tried to suppress it by my own strength, but I could never escape it: it ruled over me. Then I prayed to Jesus for deliverance, and He set me free and transformed me. Although I am still tempted, the power of sin is broken by His blood. Religion is man’s attempt to try to be good by our own efforts, but what we really need is a living relationship with God. That’s how we can experience His power and His love
appreciate the good words. made tons of progress but a little encouragement is always welcomed. I think there's a way that the brain can become "desexualized' but it's not thru force. It's more like how our relationship with food changes as we learn how to eat healthy.
this is the best video ive seen on anything to do with sex for men in a very long time
Were making it back to the car with this one. 🔥
Also I got around to the music. Good decision.
Thanks for sticking around, glad you dug the music.
Balance with everything. Saving up semen for a time can be beneficial to have a build up of energy. But what ive experienced is when i save up, i dont move forward but when i release i move forward quicker than before with more focus and clarity.
As an ex-Muslim, this feels like you just told my exact story of coming out of a strong purity culture, scrolling through all kinds of women on IG for the first year, only to quit almost cold turkey. It ain't been easy though. I've always wanted genuine connection, but ain't really had it accessible in the physical world in recent years. I suppose I'm working on it.
Find a good woman and marry her. Never listen to someone who tells you to sleep around. The #1 indicator of divorce is number of sexual partners prior to marriage….
For women… where 70% of all marriages end in divorce and 80% of divorced are initiated by the woman
Yes I’d say if you and or partner are in double digits then risk of divorce down the line begins to skyrocket
If your a man, just realize the marriage contract isn't in your favor and majority of woman initiate the divorce. Lots of these married woman are cheating these days and regretting it.
thank you
Thank you brother for this one. You have just confirmed a message from Source.
Seb is truly a great teacher, I also follow his channel.
So glad brother... i've been getting tons of synchronicities lately myself. Much love
Worthy for a sub 💯
I have a small penis sex is out the picture I am too embarrassed to show a women or a man😢
The problem with today is that everyone is getting married much later. There was never a need to suppress or “desexualize” your mind when people married at 18-20. People pretty much got married right when their sexual urges/desires peaked.
And then they promptly got divorced. I don't think getting married later is a problem, let alone the problem in this particular case.
Just my two cents.
@@GibranCamus-kr2dc100 years ago the divorce rate was 3 percent.
@@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485that’s because until 1975 you could only divorce if you had proof that they cheated or were abusive. It’s a difference in legislation not human nature
@@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485 oh brother, add some historical context to that
I have a small penis sex is out the picture I am too embarrassed to show a women or a man😂😢😢😢
can you make a pov of us sitting on the passenger seat? If vr is possible it would be cool too.
Agree. It's about harnessing your sex drive, not denying it. "Burning through desire" is a good way of putting it. Celibacy isn't necessarily the answer.
Lol I decided to try nofap for 6 months 😂😂😂 after my breakup. I'm single right now so it's easier. I mean trying different things the one that works the most for me is faith in Jesus Christ and actually walking the walk. Switching that over to digging further into my faith than I ever have b4 has truly helped. I definitely agree you need to date women and getting off porn is a good thing for sure. I felt like maybe I needed to focus on myself and grow b4 I just jump into another relationship. I don't know but I'm trying diff things out. I do feel like I'm the best version of myself when I'm walking with GOD. Every other worry just seems to melt away n I'm honestly joyful n in a good place. After this season as you would say I'm going to jump back into the dating world and see what happens lol. Hopefully I've upgraded in myself 😂. I do like ur videos though. I love to hear different points of view.
Dudebro, I can amen that! Sex has its time and place. Seek first the kingdom of God, and all things will be added to you. But man, when you press into the faith, it goes to the back of the mind quickly...
It's funny how focusing on yourself, and being okay with being alone for a time seems to be the ticket if we're being honest... We then can attract someone who is much closer to the equivalent of who we've become in our season of growth and solitude..
@TheConsciousMan143 Am I truly alone though? Like in the physical sense I am but in a mental/spiritual sense I do not feel alone. When I say I'm walking with GOD, I do feel HIS presence. I feel joyful and content learning and being in prayer. Like I could say f it and go out, get drunk, have fun, sleep with a random chick so I'm not alone. That actually makes me feel more alone in the end but when I'm walking with GOD I feel fulfilled. Its almost like it's both at the same time alone but not alone if that makes sense. 🤣 I'm kinda hoping now I can find a woman that is equally as passionate in her faith as I've become. I've spent most of my life living a worldly carnal way doing whatever I wanted. Now I'm learning discipline in my faith which was hella lacking and temptation isn't such a huge issue anymore.
@therealmtsinai Yes Amen brother I feel like that's so true. Seek the kingdom of GOD and then all things will be added to unto you.
very underrated
Thanks for watching brother
Your words relaxed me.... Calling you bro or homie is just not enough 🫂
I wished i had a flatmate like you. Conversations would be so much better.
great video
*cooing*
Thank you
how are you not over 100k subs already
fr though! I remember when I got recommended his channel he just posted his first car video and it blew up from there. More men need to find this community.
I'm not in a rush. Just grateful for the men that have found their way here already. Feels like just the beginning. Appreciate you man
@thejohnjosh Thanks for being here from the start
@@TheConsciousMan143 you desereve it
Dude gave me the permission I needed. Thanks man.
Ayee AYEEE slow down..
.am i too late😢😢
Great video with nice blur
Nope he swore, also his thumbnail was inappropriate, but he actually read the whole word out- disgusting.
Do you use mirrorless or a dslr for this shot? I was thinking to try this out with my gopro hero 12, not sure how I’m going to lock the focus though😂
Mirrorless
David Deida would be proud
man what is the name of the song at the end of the video
What camera do you use?
Beautiful message brother. I have been in a long season of PMO and few real encounters with a woman. I believe in the possibility of it all, but haven't seen it happen yet.
Do you live in Indiana or somewhere near? it was raining yestereday here
Please release the tune
So basically just let it be. Don't act on certain desires just let it be.
Great message thankyou ..Whats the song in the outro?
Thanks for watching. It's an original song I made with a friend. Unreleased currently.
@@TheConsciousMan143 I was trying desperately to Shazam it with 2 phones 😂 Thanks for letting me know.... Keep up the great work what your doing is a necessity on many different levels
@@BabzTheGenie I've definitely done that before. Glad I could clear that up for you. Much love
This doesn't make much sense to me. I had a few opportunities for sexual encounters in the past but I denied them all because I wasn't confident. Years passed by and now I'm just trying to stop PMO cycle so if I received those offers again I suspect I would become even more obsessed with it.
i am deeply spiritual and I've never heard anyone say stop having sex. Stepping into your own power as Jesus was trying to teach us will result in a natural knowing what is right and wrong for us. No obsession is ever good as it comes from lack in other areas normally. Life is to be experienced and that includes sex. You are missing what being spiritual means if you think you have to go without anything.
❤
How do you reconcile the sexual nature that we as men in regards to sexual fantasies? I know they can be relieved through sex with your woman but how do you get rid of the mental images of fantasy? I think they’re similar to porn, which is film images. Different but similar as they achieve arousal through the same potential harmful mechanism of sexual imagery. Any ways to channel this?
It will take a longer period of quitting p*rn all together. Your mind replays the images over and over again otherwise.
Once I was free of it completely for about a year, then those mental images started to disappear all together.
Also the mental images in and of themselves aren't bad, but its the dwelling on them that makes them take root in a negative way. To stop dwelling on them, fill your mind and days with purposeful action and goals to the point where there isn't much room or time for vices anymore.
Best of luck.
You saw Hamza’s video right?
Dude, you just described me, i have a disability and I've been sheltered my whole life. Im trying to change that at 29. Also, I'm still a virgin at 29 bwcause im afraid to have sex with someone. Soem bad stuff happened to me growing up, and thats sorta why. Dont get me wrong. i wanna do it, but im scared of being vulnerable.
Also, having an addiction to porn doesn't help over the years. Socially awkward and major anxiety have been a major problem because of this. I dont open up like this to anyone, but for some reason, this video, for some odd reason, made me wanna open up? Idk, but yeah thats kinda my story. So i definitely relate to this in a way. :/
You’ve got this ❤
Thumbnail was a little inappropriate- was that just for views, and reactions?
Doesn't this contradict your first video?
there are paradoxical truths in all opposites. Sharing both. nothing is ever black and white in this life.
Religion usually makes this matters worse. I'm not saying be the devil and be happy, but fundamentalists exacerbate your inner ghosts of guilt
It contradicts the Bible to instil shame. Seggs is powerful n beautiful which is exactly why it should have the spiritual gravity of a sacrament. So nothing touches the couple as they become one…
How can you conclude that we are living in animal bodies? Aren't we just animals?
The problem starts when you think you're an "animal". That's coming from someone that was once an athiest.
This is a good video and I just want to offer a woman's perspective. I'm bisexual and I'll be honest. I avoid most men when it comes to sex and relationships. I don't want to be that sexual object that a man is grinding on when physical intimacy means so much more to me. I'd much rather be with a woman who "gets it." I'm not saying all men are like this, but I find very few males who have harassed their sexual energy. I will say I do see younger men (age 35 and younger) who seem to get this idea. But there's also an equal contingent who are happy to watch p$rn and see no problem with viewing a woman as a sex object to fulfill their desire. I get that most men go through a sleeping around phase but it's such a shame for the women whose hearts break as the guy essentially "pumps and dumps" them. Not saying all women are saints. They're not. I just think this is something to be aware of if you're going to use a woman for sexual fulfillment and nothing more. Please make sure the woman knows this up front. Be honest. I can't tell you how many guys lie and lead a woman to believe there's something more behind their sexual advances when all they really want is to get them in bed and nothing more. Anyway, thanks for the time that went into making this video.
drizzle drizzle
You got me, what a clickbait. ,,Desexualization is a myth" in title, then whole video talk about how desexualization is a good thing... Good for you 👋
I have a small penis sex is out the picture I am too embarrassed to show a women or a man
First off, the track at the end is INCREDIBLE. When are you releasing it??
I was raised as an atheist. In my very early 20s I found spirituality and converted to the world’s most controversial and maligned religion, no need to mention which one. What I found is a faith that takes the “need to fuck” as an unqualified human good. There were no Christian hang ups and no red lines (except 2: no sex during periods and no anal sex) and not even any hangups about divorce. There’s also, polygyny - which is still practiced and accepted. Because in this religion, marriage is simply a mutual, non-sacred agreement that makes sexual contact exclusive to both parties and provides legal cover for any children produced and protection for primarily the woman’s reputation. I personally would caution against carefree sexual exploration with multiple people. Body counts are a real thing. No one wants to make a mother of a woman who has been with hundreds of men and no one wants that for their daughter either. We’re not humans on a spiritual journey - we’re spiritual beings on a human journey, and sexuality is at the core of awesomeness of the human experience. It’s something that has to be handled like weaponized uranium, because the havoc it can cause is massive.
This is well said brother. That's why when you cultivate love for yourself (real love, not the egoic validating kind)... it becomes easier to see others through that same lens. So the chances of you choosing to rack up an insane body count, or using people becomes a lot less likely.
12th
Just don’t watch toxi- I mean mainstream porn
First
I see you
See, when you have no rizz to begin with, its quite easy to stay celibate
It's quite easy then you have human dignity a soul and a heart. If you evil shameless no heart you wouldn't have a problem. Having rizz or no rizz says someone who exploits abused and takes advantage of other people. Someone who lies in front of them so they would like you but show real themselves begins their back with the boys. Shows how disgusting inhumane they really are because they are cowards. Real men will speak the truth in front of them regardless they liked or not. Speak garbage in front of them instead behind their back. I didn't have that problem since I treat people the same regardless I don't need to be fake then I give nothing but love. Now. Rizz is charisma for me not exactly what I mean. People did tell me I'm charismatic for me I don't notice that or it's natural and I don't take that as a compliment to me that's an insult. For me rizz associated with narcissistic abusers. For me compliment would be who really see me who I am. Selfless cares about people sacrifices for people changes life's makes a world a better place. Not this evil thing.
2nd
Thanks for hanging out
I have to desexualizing!
Also Me : listening to the turning signals on 4:10 and think of sex instantly lmao