Thank you for being such a good honest man. Im sorry for any flack that you have received. Being compassionate for others is a trait that should be treasured not comsidered a fault.
Listening to reasonable and articulate voices was so refreshing. Thank you for interviewing former Representative Adam Kinzinger. The title of the sequence did not intrigue me, but seeing Rep. Kinzinger did as he elicits great respect, from his public to military service. What is definitively masculine or even feminine remains a performative riddle to me. I'm looking forward to listening to the full interview! Thank you, Daily Stoic.
@dayglowjim well, it was spun that way by fox, Shapiro (which lol what the hell does HE know about masculinity 😂), etc. because the one thing we do know is if something is repeated often enough, it becomes the narrative... regardless of reality. Tate is an example of toxic masculinity. owning a nice car, working out, etc. isn't toxic but abusing women and encouraging others to do so is. It's not that complicated.
Toxic masculinity is simply shaming men for not looking and behaving a certain way, having certain things, owning your woman, etc. If you're not shaming other men, no one is talking about you when they use the term toxic masculinity.
I think Adam Kinzinger needs his own podcast that he hosts alongside of a democrat or independent and they discuss the topics that divide our nation and how to fix them. Get people talking to one another about the issues from both vantage points. We need his voice and others to be amplified so that we can start working together as a nation again.
So grateful for this conversation. In a world where men are now shouting, "your body, my choice" to women, it's easy to just fall into the trap of hating all men. Even though you know good men exist.
Additionally, I wonder what could happen if we didn't view people of any kind as good or bad, but utilized more accurate language like "harmful" "helpful?" I imagine anyone who is made to feel they are "bad" at their core, is more likely to double down than to surrender to 'the haters.'
There is tonic masculinity. And we should admit as a society that men ARE MORE EMOTIONAL than women. Ryan’s son being sad about leaving his teacher? Probably more true than a girl in that situation. Moms know this. It’s obvious Social conditioning is that women are more emotional and are therefore worse leaders. This is doubly false
I have never seen my husband cry but he is the kindest, give-you-the-shirt-off-his-back mensch you'll ever find. He is compassionate and caring. He has a quiet, understated masculinity that I find very attractive. And seeing him actually tear up is on my bucket list. Boys are conditioned to not show emotion. They are not born this way.
I remember the four times I saw dad cry. First time was when mom’s dad passed, when his own dad passed, when I was accepted after three years of hard work and when dad was in hospice he cried that he never defended me against mom and how sorry he was. I still loved dad. To see that he wasn’t perfect was a blow at first as a kid, but realized dad was human. I respect men who show emotions of sensitivity.
@joesyogafitness6085 hopeless!! The basic human experience is loss Therefore our daily emotional business or process is grief Our anger whether expressed aggressively assertively or submissively is THE feeling men and women share minute to minute in everyday life is anger Anger is where we all get stuck in our grief Masculine a d feminine difference is here
Men and women emote differently. Those who bark about toxic masculinity the loudest are women acting like men are poorly emoting women. No dudes are different and there's nothing wrong with that. Bullying is bad, whether or not its from men or women, and women are not all innocent because they were born with the correct genitals.
@joesyogafitness6085 bullying? Research in Australia and uk has proven that in the public health systems women are more often referred to HR for middle management bullying and harassment allegations. It's of the order of 2:1 Nurses are the most common and middle aged directors of nursing both on wards and in management non clinical. As a male middle aged health care professional I had to choose to leave. Menopause and menstruation is not an excuse for inconsistent arbitrary moods and rages and we must call it out ladies!!!
@@Chris-wj8fz men bully in the typical dominant agressive direct intimidation approach. Women tend to bully more indirectly by manipulation, gossiping, character assination and gasslighting. Think the movie mean girls. If you talk to my HR manager personally, she's got some crazy stories, women are being pulled into the HR office just as much as dudes it just doesn't seem as bad because they're not as obviously agressive. Domestic violence is also about 50/50.
@joesyogafitness6085 you sound reasonably together on this. HR annual reports in NHS trusts now publish uk shock figures on 2:1 female bullying and harassment allegations 23/24. The bitches are bad and think menopause and menstruation is a get out of hail free card..girls become bitches at 14 according to education figures. I have many doctors nurses teachers leaving or fighting these witches 🧙♀️
In my lifetime If there was ever a politician who lead by example it would be Adam Kinzinger. It there was ever a man who knew right from wrong and acted with passion, compassion and dedication it would be Adam Kinzinger. Here is someone who is comfortable in their own skin and doesn't feel the need to kick down at others (particularly women) in order to feel better about himself. In short, the man has integrity, something sorely lacking in representation in Congress and the Senate. God help America.
I have a real problem with people finding the term toxic masculinity an issue. I have been using that term since the mid 1990s it was never intended to imply men were toxic. That's madness. It's only to represent those behaviours where men don't take care of things right. Like seeing blood in the stool and not going to the doctor about it because the dr might think they a gay. Not telling your kids you love them. It's all about men behaving badly. Being ridiculous or hurtful because their self concept is not generous to embrace their whole humanity. Men cry, men hurt, men get sick, men are defeated, men need to stop hurting others, men can follow women leadership ... Toxic masculinity is toxic because it's faux masculinity.... Real men are fully human. Toxic masculinity strips men of real masculinity.
How about toxic male behavior? Seems a lot more specific and puts the onus on the behavior and not “masculinity.” I’m 100% on board with redefining masculinity, but if the terms you are using turn people off, what kind of change are you gonna make. Nada! What you get instead is what happened last week.
@@TimFredrick Words matter, this is true. But the fact that it's *toxic* masculinety and not just masculinety that's being bashed is the whole point. It means there's healthy masculinety, which should have been what we men were talking about all this time. It's maddening to me that men hear "you can't objectify women and you shouldn't solve your issues with yelling and violence" and then think "well I guess there's noting left, those are my only two personality traits." That's BS. Every man is so much more and the conversation from men should have been "what is healthy masculinety, then?"
Toxic feminism also exists, but it doesn’t seem to be recognized. I am a 52 yr old female, and a feminist - but my form of feminism doesn’t hate men. Listening to my daughter and her girl friends talk about men and the patriarchy, the sexism, and misogyny. You can fight for women without degrading men. It seems like generation z has been taught the fight for equity means dragging those who have power down, whereas generation x was taught that equity means lifting people up.
Teaching emotional intelligence in school would help this pandemic of emotionally unavailable men and women we are seeing. Having homoerotic feelings for each other is okay. It’s not necessarily an indicator of orientation, rather an emotional connection. Adam is unique and talented, and the young man issue a real. Most of them just need a hug and told that it’s okay to emote.
Well, say goodbye to DOE so we’ll have to rely on the women to allow children to express their emotions. Unless the men won’t let the women raise their children in a reasonable way.
As a 62 year old, I say to younger and anyone. Prejudice towards BAD BEHAVIOR is needed for survival. Ex: Stripes on a large cat in the bush envokes prejudice; warning! Trouble today is, there's confusion defining what bad behavior is...the lines are blurred. Wasn't so blurred 10, 20 and so on years ago. The societal decay is alarming, the fear, the climate, the bad actors. I'm glad I'm old. Glad I had the 60's, 70's all the way to now however, NOW...starkly different and concerning, to say the very least...and indicators suggest, further decay and...the rot seems to be accelerating...seems to be. Guess it depends on who you ask. Some don't know any different, lie, cheat & steal is their normal...what's the problem or...surprise? Buckle Up! Climate Cliff fast approaching.
Good point. People are becoming more and more unconscious. And you’re saying to be more conscious of who the bad actors are. That’s wise. Hopefully people will wake up once they realize who they put in power. But if they don’t trust themselves, they’re never going to wake up. It’s a catch 22, in a sense, and the right has capitalized on that in a HUGE way
@@Andrew-dg7qm Thanks for reading and responding. Speaking for myself, WHAT DO I STAND FOR? Decency, integrity, fairness, love. Personal intrinsic value. Mine is high and not to be compromised, not for sale. Idea: find a hero, someone to try and emulate that you respect, admire. For me, Rafael Nadal Parera...yes, Rafa Nadal...the tennis legend. No scandals what so ever! Hold yourself to the high standard of behavior you value. You'll be glad you did. Peace & love. The love you take...is equal to the love you make. - Paul McCartney...The Beatles.
Subbed. I have a son coming in 5 weeks and I've been struggling with this issue. To see how the concept of masculinity has been demonized by the left and corrupted by the right has been a major point of concern. Please continue to have this conversation. It's important.
Correction: They love the idea of antiquity and the ancient civilization but they don't love the facts about it. Not the sexual fluidity of the times (especially ancient Athenian and Roman society), the intellectual curiosity or the level of savagery and debauchery, including hebephilia and incest. They love the idea of the great armies of antiquity and things such as the praetorian guard but ask them how they feel about the Sacred Band of Thebes. They love the trappings of it all just not the realities.
Lots of cultures globally and throughout history have had very different ideas of "gender" than we do. Many had everyday language to reference 3 or more options in terms of gender. Saying "gender was gender" in the past was only true for a certain small part of the past.
Of course. Most cultures. Now the legislation goes back to two. That’s why we need stories and art. Because history books don’t contain all the history
Our culture is out of balance. The celebration of extreme masculine traits and the denigration of feminine traits has caused anxiety and confusion among our young men. And young women, for that matter.
I so respect Adam Kinzinger. Like so many foreigners we are mortified by what’s happening in the USA. Yet it does speak of bigger social problems which are occurring there & around the world with inequity, education and general caring of life of all. This happens when you think a county or people is just about being an Economy & not a society. Our early Prime Minister Bob Hawke cried during the memorial for all the people who were killed during the Tiananmen Square massacre and also when he spoke of crime and overcoming it. This is the type of person you want leading a country. He achieved so much in his time as PM including universal Medicare for all, floated the aus$, saved the Franklin river from being dammed, mandatory superannuation pension for all. Sex discrimination act, created APEC, Prices & Income accord, negotiated banning all mining in Antartica. This is what this beer swilling larrikin pursued & achieved. Of course he like as all had some poor behaviour, BUT, he respected people & treated people fairly. He had a sharp tongue and d was a Rhodes scholar from a union background.
Toxic masculinity is real, and it's all those reasons you described. I don't need to cater to toxic men who can't handle hearing their behavior is toxic!! And we should absolutely shame it!!!!!
That just makes it worse. Neutrality is WAY more powerful than pushback. Because their automatic reaction is to take on the attack and continue the shoving match. That’s basic What works, however is calling out the behavior. Criticize their action, not the person. It doesn’t matter if they are dehumanizing someone, you don’t call them a pig. Because now you’re playing their game and they will win. Look at the Trump and Biden debates. Biden may have won the vote, but you can’t debate someone who fights like a 5 year old. The best revenge is to not be like them. Stick to your principles, keep your integrity, stand your ground, and speak up. But don’t shame them.
It’s the obsession with masculinity. It’s the obsession with being not a woman that’s the issue. Because all they ever do is list traits that frankly we have too. Men need to just worry about being human and not some mythical definition of man.
@ A lot of the conversations about masculinity just focus on not being women. It’s considered an insult to tell a boy or man that he’s showing a feminine trait. They insist on rigid gender roles. It goes on and on.
@@missinterpretation4984 men who are offended by being told that are not men. A real man isn’t weak like that. Or fragile. Sensitivity is a strength, not a weakness. I don’t know what men you’ve been hanging around but there are lots of good ones
@@Andrew-dg7qm Every adult male is a man. This “real man” nonsense is a logical fallacy like no true Scotsman. A ton of men behave exactly the way I described. Obviously not all. But enough that it’s a real problem. Check the internet.
If you start your statement with "real men" you're invalidating, gate keeping and gasslighting people who's experiences are different than yours. Most men cry some times but usually aren't blubbering babbies and don't express those emotions the same as women.
At 7:49 lads lads i think you have it wrong. Men in other times were sensitive too. The boomers had two generations of men before then horribly emotionally brutalized by their participation in two world wars i think that together with the breadwinner model as it was realised in post war urbanisation - underutilized physical strengh and commute time ....has put tremendous pressure on men
The men who would most benefit from this video would prob never click on it, due to its title. They don’t have the courage to admit there might be something wrong with them.
some guys didn't learn that sharing the power of change with non whites and non males makes us all stronger and is not a threat to your own masculinity.
In my opinion "being a man" is just being an adult person. Right now most people try to define masculinity in contrast to femininity, instead of in contrast to being a boy. There will naturally be some different tendencies between men and women, but when these tendencies are natural, you don`t have to do anything for them to be there. You don`t have to teach men to be different from women, they will naturally be in some ways. You have to teach men to be different from boys, so that they act like responsible adults which includes being able to deal with your emotions, taking responsibility, not putting other people down, etc.
How about a kind of scouting for men in their late teens and twenties, that teaches stoic values and lets men express them in them. I know people are going to say that what the military is about, but its not quite what I'm thinking of.
Yes, but also crying doesn’t mean it’s NOT toxic masculinity. Sometimes men cry to manipulate the other men and women around them. Try not to cry is also a sign of self control. Sometimes you have to carry on despite of your feelings on that moment. Your feelings are most of the time secondary because you can’t think if you emote your feelings all the time. Same with the gender-issue. If you are confused, then you don’t just only talk about your feelings, but you have to think about your feelings and emotion. That means you quit expressing what is bothering you and take time and room to think. It’s not “just be yourself” but rather “you can’t be who you are not.”.
The comments here are also hilarious! Like taking a stand for men against to fight against windmills. lolol The blind emotionally leading the blind here.
Need to discuss how to come back from that state as well. This discussion trying to define standards is great. Both boys and men can learn from this (even females). #Realization #Acknowledgement #Change We need to learn how not to bully those who do wrong by shaming them too much. Bullying is what insane cult like MAGA devotees do. No matter where you are, we all need to learn how to give those a second chance, but with boundaries.
My husband a Trump supporter told my grandsons yesterday 5 and 3 years old that now they will definitely grow up to be strong men and not sissy’s. I just have to mention that my grandson would be raised to be strong men without any input from Donald Trump.
Depends on what "being in touch" means. You should at least be aware of your feelings, but much of masculinity is about doing the difficult things that you don't *feel* like doing.
Women and now men seem to assume masculine means we are stoic and superficial and shallow as if our feelings are either silly or buried too deep requiring therapy
Consider this : boys and men are socialised to provide protect go to war. Feelings are overweight baggage whilst doing these tasks. My father fought the Japanese in PNG at age of 16 went to war a very happy expressive teenager but learned to make decisions under fire not share his feelings Hundreds of thousands of Australian men came home weak and married strong women and my boomer generation were raised in the new capitalism. So he went mad when a psychiatrist called his feelings a name..war neurosis she'll shock ptsd Guess what? You girls are our new battlefield with your bullshit
Stoicism is still just sparkling dissociation. Masculinity wasn't all just toxic, but now it sure IS. Girls, keep your 2nd Amendment ready for your boyfriend/father/husband even some sons. The age of Mercy is over.
The trans discussion misses the main issue. Is it acceptable to teach children that they can be potentially be born in the wrong body or is this cruel? If you treat potential gender dysphoria in children with gender affirmation, what is the Type I error? If you apply the ideology to large swatches of children by normalizing a child that is struggling with something that very few fully understand towards a GD diagnosis, the Type I error becomes huge. Kids were being put on puberty blockers after 1 visit! Drs should be in jail! If that question on Type I error can not be answered, you could be condemning ALOT of children to an irreversible decision when you teach 2-5th graders that it is perfectly normal to think that you could be born in the wrong body. If your attitude towards those misdiagnoses is flippant, when you look at the numbers, it may be worse than being flippant towards those that are not diagnosed in that manner. Most people already agree that adults can live their lives as they want. That is not the main issue. Read the CASS report. Listen to Jamie Reed (ruclips.net/video/qiVmgvlBw24/видео.html)
Get stuffed ... I know of a kid who identified as a girl 5 years ago.at the age of 5.. and she has had 6 hospital visits .. and no blockers yet. Why are you so into other people's children's privates? You would do greater harm reduction if you focused on getting families out of poverty or reducing alcohol consumption. If you cared enough to know about the work of paediatricians you will know of the intact movement and the revision of how to manage intersex children ..... Both of these principles are strong about not meddling in childrens bodies it's absurd to think all the paediatricians in this field aren't doing their best for the children in their care. My son had cancer diagnosis at 3mths ... Met a lot of doctors ... They are the modern day dragon slayers ... Maybe that's Australian doctors ....
@@purplehairedwzrd Read up on the whistleblowers at some of these clinics. If its not the 1st visit, its the 2nd one. One whistleblower, Jamie Reed, and her husband (who happened to be trans) also has raised these concerns. ruclips.net/video/qiVmgvlBw24/видео.html
We can't talk about race in this country?😂 all we talk about is race in this country. I can't think of a worse person to talk about masculinity is than this guy. His definition doesn't even make sense. Grow up. Both of you.
I consider Adam Kinzinger to be a true American hero. God bless you Adam.
Thank you for being such a good honest man. Im sorry for any flack that you have received. Being compassionate for others is a trait that should be treasured not comsidered a fault.
Adam Kinzinger is an American hero. What a real man looks like.
😄 🤣 😂 😆
😄 🤣 😂 😆 😄 🤣 😂 😆
Hahaha haha 😄 😆 🤣 😅 😂 😜 😄 😆
Listening to reasonable and articulate voices was so refreshing. Thank you for interviewing former Representative Adam Kinzinger. The title of the sequence did not intrigue me, but seeing Rep. Kinzinger did as he elicits great respect, from his public to military service. What is definitively masculine or even feminine remains a performative riddle to me. I'm looking forward to listening to the full interview! Thank you, Daily Stoic.
Adam Kinzinger is the best!
No, toxic masculinity did not mean all masculinity is toxic.
actually...it did.
Men were effectively treated as dysfunctional women.
It kind of felt that way, though. Still does.
@dayglowjim well, it was spun that way by fox, Shapiro (which lol what the hell does HE know about masculinity 😂), etc. because the one thing we do know is if something is repeated often enough, it becomes the narrative... regardless of reality.
Tate is an example of toxic masculinity. owning a nice car, working out, etc. isn't toxic but abusing women and encouraging others to do so is. It's not that complicated.
Toxic masculinity is simply shaming men for not looking and behaving a certain way, having certain things, owning your woman, etc.
If you're not shaming other men, no one is talking about you when they use the term toxic masculinity.
@dayglowjim can you give an example?
Adam is the true definition of a real man and brave American patriot. Thank you for showing us not everyone is craven and deceptive.
I think Adam Kinzinger needs his own podcast that he hosts alongside of a democrat or independent and they discuss the topics that divide our nation and how to fix them. Get people talking to one another about the issues from both vantage points. We need his voice and others to be amplified so that we can start working together as a nation again.
Seconded!
So grateful for this conversation. In a world where men are now shouting, "your body, my choice" to women, it's easy to just fall into the trap of hating all men. Even though you know good men exist.
Additionally, I wonder what could happen if we didn't view people of any kind as good or bad, but utilized more accurate language like "harmful" "helpful?" I imagine anyone who is made to feel they are "bad" at their core, is more likely to double down than to surrender to 'the haters.'
@@hellothere98765 Useful way to re-think the conversation about different expressions of "masculinity" se: "Helpful" OR "Harmful" ? Thanks.
We're used to it.
There is tonic masculinity.
And we should admit as a society that men ARE MORE EMOTIONAL than women. Ryan’s son being sad about leaving his teacher? Probably more true than a girl in that situation. Moms know this. It’s obvious
Social conditioning is that women are more emotional and are therefore worse leaders. This is doubly false
Jeez, thanks.
I have never seen my husband cry but he is the kindest, give-you-the-shirt-off-his-back mensch you'll ever find. He is compassionate and caring. He has a quiet, understated masculinity that I find very attractive. And seeing him actually tear up is on my bucket list. Boys are conditioned to not show emotion. They are not born this way.
I remember the four times I saw dad cry. First time was when mom’s dad passed, when his own dad passed, when I was accepted after three years of hard work and when dad was in hospice he cried that he never defended me against mom and how sorry he was. I still loved dad. To see that he wasn’t perfect was a blow at first as a kid, but realized dad was human. I respect men who show emotions of sensitivity.
Being in touch with my masculinity helps me be a better man.
Emotions are neither masculine or feminine. If we don't feel our feelings we become depressed. The key is to not act on your feelings, just feel them.
@joesyogafitness6085 hopeless!! The basic human experience is loss
Therefore our daily emotional business or process is grief
Our anger whether expressed aggressively assertively or submissively is THE feeling men and women share minute to minute in everyday life is anger
Anger is where we all get stuck in our grief
Masculine a d feminine difference is here
Men and women emote differently. Those who bark about toxic masculinity the loudest are women acting like men are poorly emoting women. No dudes are different and there's nothing wrong with that.
Bullying is bad, whether or not its from men or women, and women are not all innocent because they were born with the correct genitals.
@joesyogafitness6085 bullying? Research in Australia and uk has proven that in the public health systems women are more often referred to HR for middle management bullying and harassment allegations. It's of the order of 2:1
Nurses are the most common and middle aged directors of nursing both on wards and in management non clinical.
As a male middle aged health care professional I had to choose to leave.
Menopause and menstruation is not an excuse for inconsistent arbitrary moods and rages and we must call it out ladies!!!
@@Chris-wj8fz men bully in the typical dominant agressive direct intimidation approach. Women tend to bully more indirectly by manipulation, gossiping, character assination and gasslighting. Think the movie mean girls.
If you talk to my HR manager personally, she's got some crazy stories, women are being pulled into the HR office just as much as dudes it just doesn't seem as bad because they're not as obviously agressive. Domestic violence is also about 50/50.
@joesyogafitness6085 you sound reasonably together on this. HR annual reports in NHS trusts now publish uk shock figures on 2:1 female bullying and harassment allegations 23/24. The bitches are bad and think menopause and menstruation is a get out of hail free card..girls become bitches at 14 according to education figures.
I have many doctors nurses teachers leaving or fighting these witches 🧙♀️
In my lifetime If there was ever a politician who lead by example it would be Adam Kinzinger. It there was ever a man who knew right from wrong and acted with passion, compassion and dedication it would be Adam Kinzinger. Here is someone who is comfortable in their own skin and doesn't feel the need to kick down at others (particularly women) in order to feel better about himself. In short, the man has integrity, something sorely lacking in representation in Congress and the Senate. God help America.
Mad respect for Adam! A true patriot 🙌
I have a real problem with people finding the term toxic masculinity an issue. I have been using that term since the mid 1990s it was never intended to imply men were toxic. That's madness.
It's only to represent those behaviours where men don't take care of things right. Like seeing blood in the stool and not going to the doctor about it because the dr might think they a gay. Not telling your kids you love them.
It's all about men behaving badly. Being ridiculous or hurtful because their self concept is not generous to embrace their whole humanity.
Men cry, men hurt, men get sick, men are defeated, men need to stop hurting others, men can follow women leadership ... Toxic masculinity is toxic because it's faux masculinity.... Real men are fully human. Toxic masculinity strips men of real masculinity.
How about toxic male behavior? Seems a lot more specific and puts the onus on the behavior and not “masculinity.” I’m 100% on board with redefining masculinity, but if the terms you are using turn people off, what kind of change are you gonna make. Nada! What you get instead is what happened last week.
LOVE this "Real men are fully human" YES. And toxic EXPRESSIONS of masculinity DEPRIVE men of their HUMANITY.
@@TimFredrick Words matter, this is true. But the fact that it's *toxic* masculinety and not just masculinety that's being bashed is the whole point. It means there's healthy masculinety, which should have been what we men were talking about all this time. It's maddening to me that men hear "you can't objectify women and you shouldn't solve your issues with yelling and violence" and then think "well I guess there's noting left, those are my only two personality traits." That's BS. Every man is so much more and the conversation from men should have been "what is healthy masculinety, then?"
Two great men , two great Americans. Thanks !
Toxic feminism also exists, but it doesn’t seem to be recognized. I am a 52 yr old female, and a feminist - but my form of feminism doesn’t hate men. Listening to my daughter and her girl friends talk about men and the patriarchy, the sexism, and misogyny. You can fight for women without degrading men. It seems like generation z has been taught the fight for equity means dragging those who have power down, whereas generation x was taught that equity means lifting people up.
Teaching emotional intelligence in school would help this pandemic of emotionally unavailable men and women we are seeing.
Having homoerotic feelings for each other is okay. It’s not necessarily an indicator of orientation, rather an emotional connection.
Adam is unique and talented, and the young man issue a real. Most of them just need a hug and told that it’s okay to emote.
Well, say goodbye to DOE so we’ll have to rely on the women to allow children to express their emotions. Unless the men won’t let the women raise their children in a reasonable way.
what a great conversation
As a 62 year old, I say to younger and anyone. Prejudice towards BAD BEHAVIOR is needed for survival. Ex: Stripes on a large cat in the bush envokes prejudice; warning! Trouble today is, there's confusion defining what bad behavior is...the lines are blurred. Wasn't so blurred 10, 20 and so on years ago. The societal decay is alarming, the fear, the climate, the bad actors. I'm glad I'm old. Glad I had the 60's, 70's all the way to now however, NOW...starkly different and concerning, to say the very least...and indicators suggest, further decay and...the rot seems to be accelerating...seems to be. Guess it depends on who you ask. Some don't know any different, lie, cheat & steal is their normal...what's the problem or...surprise? Buckle Up! Climate Cliff fast approaching.
Good point. People are becoming more and more unconscious. And you’re saying to be more conscious of who the bad actors are. That’s wise.
Hopefully people will wake up once they realize who they put in power.
But if they don’t trust themselves, they’re never going to wake up. It’s a catch 22, in a sense, and the right has capitalized on that in a HUGE way
@@Andrew-dg7qm Thanks for reading and responding. Speaking for myself, WHAT DO I STAND FOR? Decency, integrity, fairness, love. Personal intrinsic value. Mine is high and not to be compromised, not for sale. Idea: find a hero, someone to try and emulate that you respect, admire. For me, Rafael Nadal Parera...yes, Rafa Nadal...the tennis legend. No scandals what so ever! Hold yourself to the high standard of behavior you value. You'll be glad you did. Peace & love. The love you take...is equal to the love you make. - Paul McCartney...The Beatles.
Empathy for fellow humans 💙
Being in touch with your emotions. They provide invaluable information. But not being ruled by them.
Subbed. I have a son coming in 5 weeks and I've been struggling with this issue. To see how the concept of masculinity has been demonized by the left and corrupted by the right has been a major point of concern.
Please continue to have this conversation. It's important.
I wish you had let Adam talk more
seems it's really just a question of how much real thinking and reflecting is going on as opposed to just base mimicry
Correction: They love the idea of antiquity and the ancient civilization but they don't love the facts about it. Not the sexual fluidity of the times (especially ancient Athenian and Roman society), the intellectual curiosity or the level of savagery and debauchery, including hebephilia and incest. They love the idea of the great armies of antiquity and things such as the praetorian guard but ask them how they feel about the Sacred Band of Thebes. They love the trappings of it all just not the realities.
This conversation takes me back to my philosophy classes in undergrad at LMU. Great takes, men, and great examples of healthy masculinity.
Nice conversation. Thanks!
Excellent discussion.
Lots of cultures globally and throughout history have had very different ideas of "gender" than we do. Many had everyday language to reference 3 or more options in terms of gender. Saying "gender was gender" in the past was only true for a certain small part of the past.
Of course. Most cultures. Now the legislation goes back to two. That’s why we need stories and art. Because history books don’t contain all the history
That was good for a laugh, thanks 😄 🤣 😂 😆 😄
Stoics NEVER said "Don't show any emotions". True Stoicism is about feeling your feels, but not letting them sweep you away.
Background: Adam Kinzinger's collection of 8-Track Tapes? 🎉😊🕺💃
Very glad on so many levels this video came up on my recommendations. Truly filled with extremely important information.
Our culture is out of balance. The celebration of extreme masculine traits and the denigration of feminine traits has caused anxiety and confusion among our young men. And young women, for that matter.
I so respect Adam Kinzinger. Like so many foreigners we are mortified by what’s happening in the USA. Yet it does speak of bigger social problems which are occurring there & around the world with inequity, education and general caring of life of all. This happens when you think a county or people is just about being an Economy & not a society. Our early Prime Minister Bob Hawke cried during the memorial for all the people who were killed during the Tiananmen Square massacre and also when he spoke of crime and overcoming it. This is the type of person you want leading a country. He achieved so much in his time as PM including universal Medicare for all, floated the aus$, saved the Franklin river from being dammed, mandatory superannuation pension for all. Sex discrimination act, created APEC, Prices & Income accord, negotiated banning all mining in Antartica. This is what this beer swilling larrikin pursued & achieved. Of course he like as all had some poor behaviour, BUT, he respected people & treated people fairly. He had a sharp tongue and d was a Rhodes scholar from a union background.
Great pod!
He is right about the devalue of emotions going on. People are behaving like elementary kids toward emotions.
good banana, toxic banana
good masculinity, toxic masculinity
that simple
Toxic masculinity is real, and it's all those reasons you described. I don't need to cater to toxic men who can't handle hearing their behavior is toxic!! And we should absolutely shame it!!!!!
That just makes it worse. Neutrality is WAY more powerful than pushback. Because their automatic reaction is to take on the attack and continue the shoving match. That’s basic
What works, however is calling out the behavior. Criticize their action, not the person. It doesn’t matter if they are dehumanizing someone, you don’t call them a pig. Because now you’re playing their game and they will win. Look at the Trump and Biden debates. Biden may have won the vote, but you can’t debate someone who fights like a 5 year old.
The best revenge is to not be like them. Stick to your principles, keep your integrity, stand your ground, and speak up. But don’t shame them.
It’s the obsession with masculinity. It’s the obsession with being not a woman that’s the issue. Because all they ever do is list traits that frankly we have too. Men need to just worry about being human and not some mythical definition of man.
What do you mean? How are men obsessed with not being a woman?
@ A lot of the conversations about masculinity just focus on not being women. It’s considered an insult to tell a boy or man that he’s showing a feminine trait. They insist on rigid gender roles. It goes on and on.
@@missinterpretation4984 men who are offended by being told that are not men. A real man isn’t weak like that. Or fragile. Sensitivity is a strength, not a weakness. I don’t know what men you’ve been hanging around but there are lots of good ones
@@Andrew-dg7qm Every adult male is a man. This “real man” nonsense is a logical fallacy like no true Scotsman. A ton of men behave exactly the way I described. Obviously not all. But enough that it’s a real problem. Check the internet.
Good talking points.
You're great!
There is no serious, large political party today, both dominant parties spend too much time posturing or pandering.
Real men do cry. Real men do love one another. Sometimes they are intimate with each other. Embrace the truth and celebrate the fact.
If you start your statement with "real men" you're invalidating, gate keeping and gasslighting people who's experiences are different than yours.
Most men cry some times but usually aren't blubbering babbies and don't express those emotions the same as women.
@@Sarcasmarkus Wow. Why, thank you.
Thanks for educating both of us!
Your eloquence is refreshingly clear.
At 7:49 lads lads i think you have it wrong. Men in other times were sensitive too. The boomers had two generations of men before then horribly emotionally brutalized by their participation in two world wars i think that together with the breadwinner model as it was realised in post war urbanisation - underutilized physical strengh and commute time ....has put tremendous pressure on men
The men who would most benefit from this video would prob never click on it, due to its title. They don’t have the courage to admit there might be something wrong with them.
some guys didn't learn that sharing the power of change with non whites and non males makes us all stronger and is not a threat to your own masculinity.
I like the definition of "masculinity" at the beginning. What I'm confused about it is what exactly sets these traits apart from "femininity".
In my opinion "being a man" is just being an adult person. Right now most people try to define masculinity in contrast to femininity, instead of in contrast to being a boy. There will naturally be some different tendencies between men and women, but when these tendencies are natural, you don`t have to do anything for them to be there.
You don`t have to teach men to be different from women, they will naturally be in some ways. You have to teach men to be different from boys, so that they act like responsible adults which includes being able to deal with your emotions, taking responsibility, not putting other people down, etc.
@@anthill1510 Excellent point. I've never thought of it this way. Thanks for opening my eyes to a new nuance of the matter.
How about a kind of scouting for men in their late teens and twenties, that teaches stoic values and lets men express them in them. I know people are going to say that what the military is about, but its not quite what I'm thinking of.
Yes, but also crying doesn’t mean it’s NOT toxic masculinity. Sometimes men cry to manipulate the other men and women around them. Try not to cry is also a sign of self control. Sometimes you have to carry on despite of your feelings on that moment. Your feelings are most of the time secondary because you can’t think if you emote your feelings all the time. Same with the gender-issue. If you are confused, then you don’t just only talk about your feelings, but you have to think about your feelings and emotion. That means you quit expressing what is bothering you and take time and room to think. It’s not “just be yourself” but rather “you can’t be who you are not.”.
The comments here are also hilarious! Like taking a stand for men against to fight against windmills. lolol The blind emotionally leading the blind here.
English isn't your first language is it?
Need to discuss how to come back from that state as well. This discussion trying to define standards is great. Both boys and men can learn from this (even females). #Realization #Acknowledgement #Change
We need to learn how not to bully those who do wrong by shaming them too much. Bullying is what insane cult like MAGA devotees do.
No matter where you are, we all need to learn how to give those a second chance, but with boundaries.
I have no problem with my masculinity in any year
My husband a Trump supporter told my grandsons yesterday 5 and 3 years old that now they will definitely grow up to be strong men and not sissy’s. I just have to mention that my grandson would be raised to be strong men without any input from Donald Trump.
You're still married to him?
Being in touch with my feelings is nothing to do with my masculinity
Depends on what "being in touch" means. You should at least be aware of your feelings, but much of masculinity is about doing the difficult things that you don't *feel* like doing.
Aren't feelings masculine?
@@excalibur2024guy No. Feelings are more feminine.
Women and now men seem to assume masculine means we are stoic and superficial and shallow as if our feelings are either silly or buried too deep requiring therapy
Consider this : boys and men are socialised to provide protect go to war. Feelings are overweight baggage whilst doing these tasks.
My father fought the Japanese in PNG at age of 16 went to war a very happy expressive teenager but learned to make decisions under fire not share his feelings
Hundreds of thousands of Australian men came home weak and married strong women and my boomer generation were raised in the new capitalism.
So he went mad when a psychiatrist called his feelings a name..war neurosis she'll shock ptsd
Guess what? You girls are our new battlefield with your bullshit
Stoicism is still just sparkling dissociation.
Masculinity wasn't all just toxic, but now it sure IS.
Girls, keep your 2nd Amendment ready for your boyfriend/father/husband even some sons. The age of Mercy is over.
Why didn't he run as the GOP candidate instead of Trump?
Kinzinger 2028
The trans discussion misses the main issue. Is it acceptable to teach children that they can be potentially be born in the wrong body or is this cruel? If you treat potential gender dysphoria in children with gender affirmation, what is the Type I error? If you apply the ideology to large swatches of children by normalizing a child that is struggling with something that very few fully understand towards a GD diagnosis, the Type I error becomes huge. Kids were being put on puberty blockers after 1 visit! Drs should be in jail! If that question on Type I error can not be answered, you could be condemning ALOT of children to an irreversible decision when you teach 2-5th graders that it is perfectly normal to think that you could be born in the wrong body. If your attitude towards those misdiagnoses is flippant, when you look at the numbers, it may be worse than being flippant towards those that are not diagnosed in that manner. Most people already agree that adults can live their lives as they want. That is not the main issue. Read the CASS report. Listen to Jamie Reed (ruclips.net/video/qiVmgvlBw24/видео.html)
Get stuffed ... I know of a kid who identified as a girl 5 years ago.at the age of 5.. and she has had 6 hospital visits .. and no blockers yet.
Why are you so into other people's children's privates? You would do greater harm reduction if you focused on getting families out of poverty or reducing alcohol consumption.
If you cared enough to know about the work of paediatricians you will know of the intact movement and the revision of how to manage intersex children ..... Both of these principles are strong about not meddling in childrens bodies it's absurd to think all the paediatricians in this field aren't doing their best for the children in their care.
My son had cancer diagnosis at 3mths ... Met a lot of doctors ... They are the modern day dragon slayers ... Maybe that's Australian doctors ....
No one receives puberty blockers on their first visit.
@@purplehairedwzrd Read up on the whistleblowers at some of these clinics. If its not the 1st visit, its the 2nd one. One whistleblower, Jamie Reed, and her husband (who happened to be trans) also has raised these concerns. ruclips.net/video/qiVmgvlBw24/видео.html
@@purplehairedwzrd Jamie Reed would disagree.
@@sully_n_dubs do you know anyone that has been through the process, because I do.
Standing on the porch trying to get someone's attention. Anyone.
Is that masculinity? lol
We can't talk about race in this country?😂 all we talk about is race in this country. I can't think of a worse person to talk about masculinity is than this guy. His definition doesn't even make sense. Grow up. Both of you.